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I may never understand why some of us are cheated in life. I only know, from this perspective, that I am not the one who was.

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I’ve knelt with him to say his prayers and thanked God for my ability to do so

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It took the birth of my first child to truly see the whole picture. I’ve often tried to imagine what it would be like to see my son in pain and not be able to brush away a tear, mend a knee or simply hold him in my arms.

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I’ve rolled the film a thousand times. The scenes have never changed, only my perspective.

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I’ll never forget those nine long blocks. In January and February they might just as well have been ninety! My classmates are piling into their mothers’ warm waiting station wagons. I hunch my shoulders to my ears and silently watch as they disappear into the swirling gusts of snow. No steaming mug of hot cocoa is awaiting my arrival, just those sad eyes. Cheated.

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Connie had the best playroom in the neighborhood. She was my very best friend and every day after school I would race home to change clothes and, in a heartbeat, I was at her door. Half of her basement was converted into a wonderful playhouse with paneling, carpets, and lace curtains to match.

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The debilitating effects of rheumatoid arthritis confined her to that bed. There were, however, what she referred to as “good days,” days in which she was able to drag herself from her bed and onto a small kitchen chair with curved metal legs.

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“I only remember my mother walking one time in my life. She walked me to kindergarten.” Thereafter, all recollections of her were in her hospital bed, a massive ugly thing that took up a good portion of my parents’ room.

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It’s a simple walk down a simple block in time. I can still feel my left fingers cradled in the smooth grip of her hand, one not much bigger than that of my own. I actually feel the warmth of the rising sun on my face as I look up at her each time she speaks. Aha! It was kindergarten!

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My mother is walking me to kindergarten. I’m sure it must be kindergarten. In future years it would become vitally important for me to remember just exactly when it was