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although tattoos are getting really really comment in the netherlands. overall we see people with tattoos as uneducated.

people with tattoos wil be taken less serious

harder to get a job based on tattoos

high precentage of under educated people have tattoos

still not accepted by society

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the dutch are direct

we see a problem and want to solve right away

always think we know the best to solve a situation

always the first in line to solve a problem or provide help

always ready with a solution

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we highly value respect towards eachother

cultures lives in peace among each other

we respect each others religion

equal chances for woman and men

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the netherlands are individualists

we respect each other and want them to be them selfs

great value in personal growth

room to develop yourself

equal chances for woman and men

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netherlands has free speech

we are well know for sharing our opinion

you have the right to say what you want and others have to respect that

we always speak our mind.

even to elderly people or your boss at work it is comment to share your opinion

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most dutch people value religion a lot

sunday is church day, not able to work need to attend church

praying at the dining table before dinner is still comment in the netherlands

although we are a christian country we respect other religions and we live side by side with other cultures

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friendship is very important in the netherlands

most of social life evolves on meeting and hanging out with friends

friendship is equal to family

down side on this is we have manny friends but few real friends.

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in the netherlands it is comment to look each other in the eyes

upon greeting it is common to shake hands.

as a man it is comment to give 3 kisses if you know the person in case if it is a female

dutch people always speak their mind and are not afraid to show their opinion.

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In the Netherlands family is important.

One of the most comment thing is to attend family birth days and sit in the well know circle and eat pie

its uncommon for generations to be living on one roof although it is very common to live in the same town as your family members.

we are brought up with values most are equal to each other although elders we dress with "u" as a form of respect

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-      while looking back at the interview. Because she is Christian and wel educated  We made I contact throughout the interview. It is very commend to do so for both of us also because we are relatives. Because I grew up know her and I visited her in Lebanon and seen the culture there I see life different.

-       since it is family and we have a good bond it is really easy to talk with her. Although some questions about politics and her opinion that she would not share, she didn’t want to talk about it. Because she mentioned they are very corrupt and don’t care about what is going on in the country and she would just get frustrated.

-        After conducting the interview and also visiting Lebanon myself 2 times I come to the conclusion family is the most important part of their life. The first time is visited en met all of her family for the first time they made me feel so welcome like I have known them for years. They are really warm hearted  people and if your accepted in their family its mend for life.

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Interview relative above 40

Name: Rita atallah (my aunt)

Nationality: lebanese

Religion  can you tell me something about your religion in your country?

-          In my country especially where we live in Beirut we have 2 religions Christians and Muslims. The difference to other Muslim country’s is that these 2 religions live side by side peacefully. For example if you follow our main road on the left side we he a mosque and on the other side a church. We try to live peacefully side by side.

What is your opinion on religion?

-         the religion I follow is Christianity, I have been my whole life so has been my family. Although I am a Christian I respect other religion so I have learnt since we live side by side with muslins and I work in a muslin country ( Saudi Arabia). I try to go to church every Sunday although that is hard when I am in Saudi Arabia since I can’t practice my religion there. But when back home I try to commit every Sunday by going to church and also teach this values to my daughter.

Family  How important is family in your country

-         family is the most important in my country. Trust and respect is important. Wedding, family dinners are organized often on a big scale. Most relatives/ families live together or really nearby so able to spent as much time as possible with each other.

What your opinion?

-          The bond in our family is very strong. We respect each other and since we all live in the same apartment building in Lebanon we try to spent as much time as possible with each other when I am back home.

Upbringing  Are there standard values to raise your child in your country?

-          Children are raised strict and well educated mostly in my country. We teach our children Arabic, French and English at a young age. We also value education also status above all.

Money is money important in your country or do they value other things  more?

-          Money is really important in my country, money brings status and power. A lot of people are really corrupt so mostly you can buy everything. Also its very important to have money and be successful or come from a successful family. People value you more based on status then actually for the person you are.

-          Future --> do people think about the future in your country or live day by day what is your opinion

-          My country especially the Christian part is drive with a mindset on the future. We have goals or our parents have goals for us which we follow. Most important is to be successful and getting on the point set by yourself.

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Thomas Kilmann profile. Describe a conflicting situation in your own life.

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Thomas Kilmann profile. Describe a conflicting situation in your own life.

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Using the Thomas Killman profile conflict mode questionnaire, I scored the most in “Collaborating”. As described:

Collaborating is both assertive and cooperative. When collaborating, an individual attempts to work with the other person to find a solution that fully satisfies the concerns of both. It involves digging into an issue to identify the underlying concerns of the two individuals and to find an alternative that meets both sets of concerns. Collaborating between two persons might take the form of exploring a disagreement to learn from each other’s insights, resolving some condition that would otherwise have them competing for resources, or confronting and trying to find a creative solution to an interpersonal problem.

Most recent situation occurred when making our final report on our BSP product. When we finish most of the information on our BSP. When discussing how our final product should look Logo, lay out color, letter type etc. me and my BSP member had a different view on how the end product should look. I stated was more for a abstract lay out black and white so the main focus would be on the information and not on the details and illustrates. But my fellow group member didn’t agree on that she stated it would look more professional in color and she wanted a specific logo for a product. After a while of disusing the problem at stake. We found a middle way we took here logo but the color stated was black and white like I had in mind. The graphs and pictures we decided to leave in color but the rest was abstract black and white. In the end we both won on some points and both were satisfied with the results.

The funny part is later on in intercultural we both scored the same on the Thomas Killman profile of conflict. We are both Collaborating. In the end we both ended up with parts we wanted.

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1: music

The Netherlands and there music what is there to say about it? The Netherlands I is well know for their musical talent is the electronic dance scene. We have the most well know and best dj’s in the world its on the upper layer because that’s how the world sees us if you go more in debt our culture is more about what we call “volkszangers” the typical Dutch lyrics.

2: facial expression

How I see it as Dutch person our facial expression is very neutral we show very little in our facial expression compare to people from southern country the express them self with body language, facial expression, they show emotion, happiness.  For a example myself when I was working in Italy people thought I was angry all the time due to my neutral expression but that was not the case its just the way I look when I am thinking about something or busy with work.

3: studying

Studying is a commen thing in my culture that what people see from the outside in general the Netherlands is a well-educated country with a lot of possibilities. Our system provides us and makes it for everyone attainable to study and develop yourself in the way you want to become a musician, a doctor, teacher the possibilities are there.

4: festivals

it’s a part of our culture Dutch people love to party and are well know in other country’s to have the biggest and best festivals in the world.  We have the best dj’s and music producers and are well know for our music.

5: Clothing

When you think about Dutch clothing the first thing that comes in mind is Volendam. People from all over the world come to this small town to make pictures or dress up in these particular suits dating from years ago.

Now days clothing get more and more important and part of our culture the Dutch people are in general well dressed. Its how others see us we are fashionable a well dressed country.

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Looking at the case there is a clear gab between their culture, much of it described in the case study. They have personality clashes mostly based on cultural/believe differences. When conflict approaches both man stick to their cultural believes. This resolves in a personal conflict between the two.  As mentioned above, punctuality, lifestyle of doing or being and their view of Uncertainty Avoidance, Power distance and their culture is collectivism or individualism is making a gap between Mr. Dinh and Mr. Kollman. One more conflict between them is Jurisdictional Ambiguities as the steps of business between them are unclear such as the business plan, the set date of the visit.

A fastest way to reconcile this conflict is Avoiding. The avoiding style is low on both assertiveness and cooperativeness. When both 2 men can ignore the problem and continue on the business. As Mr. Kolmann can ignore the uncertainty of the contract, he can have the business with the style of the Vietnamese. The original problem, conflict, or situation is never directly addressed or resolved.

The approach taken to avoid this conflict is collaborating, both of them should adjust themselves in some ways to lower the tension between themselves. This I not unrealistic since Mr. Kollman visited several Asian country’s beside Vietnam, he should be aware of the Asian culture and the way of life and doing business. On the other hand Mr. Dinh studied in Europe so he should know the values and believes and the way they do business in Europe. So he could consider to inform his head of the company. This solution is in my opinion the best solution both man learn to adept and get to do business and build a business relationship in the future.

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Hall and Kluckhohn

Doing <-- being?

For this task we are looking at the hall and Kluckhohn if it is either doing or being. In this case we are comparing two persons out of different countries in this case Germany and Vietnam.

Looking at Germany it is stated that it is more a “Doing” country. The value a great aspect of deadlines, schedules etc. The task is more important than the personal relationship. People mostly have a personal opinion and are not afraid to show it verbally.

Compared to Germany, Vietnam is more a “Being country”. In this country they value titles and respect for people from higher hierarchies  above all. Titles are always used and people deem to show respect in a appropriate way according to their status.  Relationships are often more important than the task itself. They value greetings and farewells rituals or getting to know a person and build a relationship before doing business with them.

-          In the case described, Mr. Kollman  who is from Germany so in line with country as “Doing”. As a “doing” person the task prevails over the relationship with Mr. Dinh who is from Vietnam so a “Being” person. Mr. Kollman had a clear target in mind and that was doing business  straight away and not build upon trust/relationship.  While Mr. Dihn values building trust/relationship over doing business. So he tried  to first get to know the person before doing business. Not seeing the bigger picture and the differences between the 2 cultures caused Mr. Kollman to stress and become irritated as things were not going as expected/ but especially the way he is used to do business and he had in mind.

Monochromic <--> Polychromic

Germany is seen as a Polychromic country. Time is of great value. They try to divide/ plan their time as efficient as possible. If not well spent they feel like they are losing something valuable. “Time is money “in this case. They follow their planning strictly and try not to divert from it.

On the other had we have Vietnam which is more of a Monochromic country. They value building relationships before doing business and that mostly neglects the value of time. They seem to take time lightly. Building trust and relationships Is most important before doing business. There is no sense of urgency time is just something it is not going anywhere.

In this case Mr. Kollman mentioned above is in line with his country and Mr. Dinh with his. Because of his Polychromic nature Mr. kollman expect Mr.dinh to have the same values as he does. Keeping a strict schedule. As speaking his mind/ being pro-active on his communication and contact of the business to save time. On the other hand Mr. Dinh who values time as less important than the contact. He did not contact the German company or set a date to visit. And there will not be set date of visit because of the cultural differences.

Hofstede and Trompenaars.

Uncertainty Avoidance

Looking at the scores Vietnam scores low in this case 30 points. This means Vietnamese have low uncertainty avoidance. They take life as it is and are more relaxed. The main focus lays on practice not theory. In Vietnam they believe that if rules do not work they should be abandoned or changed. Work and schedules are flexible hard work is undertaken only when needed, precision and punctuality does not come naturally.

On the other hand looking at Germany scores  high in this case 65 points. This means Avoidance. In line with the philosophical heritage of Kant, Hegel and Fichte there is a strong preference for deductive rather than inductive approaches, be it in thinking, presenting or planning: the systematic overview has to be given in order to proceed.. Details are equally important to create certainty that a certain topic or project is well-thought-out.

In this case Mr. Dinh have a low preference for avoiding, therefore the company seemed hesitated to make a commitment with the German company also no date of visit is set. The reason for this is really clear after studying Hofstede and Trompenaars, the mindset of the Vietnamese is completely different compare to that of a German. The most important thing  is to have good contact an do business a set of date is not important. While for Mr. Kollman planning a date of visit and clear communication is a bit of security and clearness. Uncertainty of the contract is ok for Mr. dinh but made Mr. kollman  irritated.

Power distance

Germany can be found on the lower side among distant countries 35 points. Co-determination rights are comparatively extensive and have to be taken into account by the management. A direct and participative communication and meeting style is common, control is disliked and leadership is challenged to show expertise and best accepted when it’s based on it.

On the other hand, we can clearly see on this chart that Vietnam is belong to a higher power distant group (70). In Vietnam, people accept a hierarchical order in which everybody has a place and which needs no further justification. Subordinates expect to be told what to do and the ideal boss is a benevolent autocrat.

In this case both of them were following what they know and what is align with their culture. Mr. Kollman who is a individualist. Meaning he can decide and make choices he seems fit for his company it is his responsibility. At the other hand we have Mr. Dinh who is a collectivist. He values loyalty to his company he must follow his companies believes and rules only the head of the company may make choices and decisions for the company. Mr. Dinh is more of a spokesman he speaks on behave of the company following their believes and rules.

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-      while looking back at the interview, It surprise me and makes me thinking how different our cultures actually are. We made I contact throughout the interview. Even though that is not comment in his country. Afterwards he explained he felt comfortable because he knows me and he know that it is very comment to have eye contact in my country so he tries to adapt. The way he talks about respect and family is the opposite from what is going on in his country which I find astonishing. He is raised with good values and respect towards others. And I really respect that

-       it was nice that even though it is not comment in his country to make eye contact he adapts and that made the interview a lot easier. He felt really at ease and we laught while I explained the difference between our countries.  although we don’t follow the same believes some aspects made me think “is my religion right is his wrong”  no not at all. When I was first fast to judge I become more open-minded and I admire some of his value’s..

-        After conducting the interview, I have learned something. Come in prepared and try to listen. Duchies are really eager to judge. Is this a right thing to do, no I think not. I think I can learn a lot from some aspects of his culture and I really becoming to respect him as a person. Although we are from different background we can teach and learn a lot from each other. So we both get a different few on life.

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Interview student

Name: Huy Duong

Nationality: Vietnamese

Religion  can you tell me something about your religion in your country?

Vietnam have 3 big religions: Christian, Buddhism and Vietnamese folk religion (often known as “not religious but spiritual”). There are more people who are Buddhism than Christian, there are some Muslims. Most of the Vietnamese are spiritual and this religion is connected to Buddhism. The view of this religion is when a person passed away, that person is not simply died. Only the physical body is died but the spirit continues to live. For the first 100 after the death, the spirit won’t accept that it was died, so it will still visit it home before. So the family members of the person that passed away have to make an altar and place food there for the breakfast, lunch and dinner. After 100 days, depending on did that person did anything good or bad when he live, he will be decided to go to heaven, be a human again, be a animal or go to hell.

What is your opinion on religion?

-          I am kind of a atheist. In my opinion, religion is a very complex topic. Most of the religion is leading their people to the good live, to be a better man, live healthier,.. but there are some people in some religion that take advantage of it to benefit themself and make a bad image of it. For example, in my country, the Muslims are actually very nice and friendly. But using the internet, i know that in the US, the Muslims are sometimes called “terrorists” because the 9/11 attacks and the Islamic States is bringing war. So generally, religion is a very hard topic to discuss.

History  can you tell me something about your country’s history

-          Vietnam has a very long history, the first state appeared around thousands years before christ so if I tell you all of the history, it will take you weeks. Shortly, we were thousands years dominated by the Chinese, after that, the Vietnamese has risen and finally fought back the Chinese out of our land. After that, we have 100 years colonised by the French. In my opinion, the French was the worst. They took a lot of our gold, diamonds and charcoal to bring back to their own land and treated the Vietnamese like slaves. In 1945, the Vietnamese has risen again to kick the French out of the country. After that, in 1954, Vietnam was seperated into 2 parts, South Vietnam and North Vietnam. North Vietnam followed communism and got backed up by China and Soviet Union, they built many military facilities, made weapon and war machines. Meanwhile, the South followed capitalism and got backed up by the US, they focused on improving the economy of the country more than wars. When the US left Vietnam, the South was not strong enough to defend themself from the invasion of the communist North. In 1975, the Communist won the war and 2 parts of Vietnam was not seperated anymore. From then, only the one and only Communism Party ruled the country. We had some fight with the Cambodian and Chinese later on.  After the war, the goverment chosed to use the Subsidies Economic that dragged our country down.

So how is it now in your country?

-          After the Subsidies Economic period, Vietnam was very poor. But after that the goverment turned our country to Market Economy so the country is better now. We are now being industrialized and improving on services part. There are some multi-country organization that have their branch in my country. But the thing is, being industrialised, the environment is being badly polluted.

Family  How important is family in your country

-          Most of the Vietnamese think that power and status is more important than their family. Which means they can go out and treat people well but when they come home, they just be bad to their family. As the man is the most important in a family, in some family, they just treat their wives like their slaves.

What your opinion?

-          I think family is the most important thing of my life and I can trade everything for it. Because my parents raised me since I was a baby till now they are still speding huge amount of money for my education, I am very appreciated. They are always there when I need them.

Upbringing  Are there standard values to raise your child in your country?

-          Children in my country is raised with discipline. So the parents will always tell the children what is right and what is wrong. The parents are always right and the children have to listen to their parents every time. Mostly they want their children to have a good life and be rich so they want them to be doctors or lawyers so that the kid can make alot of money in the future. They want their children to do the best at school.

How were you raised yourself?

-          My family is pretty “democratic” so my parents are not always right and I can politely tell them if they are wrong at some points. My parents respected my choices of life so that I can be whatever I want and make my own choices with my life.

Money is money important in your country or do they value other things  more?

-          Money is kind of important in my country but position and status is being valued more. There are some things that you can’t buy using only money

à What’s your opinion?

-          I think that money is not the most important thing, it just a tool to get the other things easier. Therefore, people should make money and use it, not let it control them.

Future --> do people think about the future in your country or live day by day what is your opinion

-          It depends on the social class. Because in my country, there are still alot of poor people.So the poor is living day by day, try to make enough money just to be alive. While the middle class and the rich can think about the future, make investment and think about their next generations.

-          I am the person who think about the future. I make plans for myself, what I should  do in the future.

What was the reason for you to come to Europe?

-          The reason why I came to Europe is to have a brighter future. The Netherlands’ educational system is at top 10 education in the world while the Vietnamese’s is not quite good. And also, the Netherlands is the best place to study logistic so that’s why I came here

Politics           how or what is your political situation in your country, what is your opinion about that?

-          We have one and only party which is Communism. As being the only party, they can do almost whatever they want without worry about getting kicked out. So it is a dictatorship situation. In my opinion, it is not good, but it is suitable for the Vietnamese because most Vietnamese don’t have deep knowledge about anything so they need a boss to lead them. Some who have knowledge about politics often end up in jail or flee to another country.

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1)      Make your personal profile of the dimensions we discussed in class of Hall and Kluckhohn(by putting an “I” where you prefer to be). You can use the format below. Justify each dimension with your own real-life examples.

-Communication:

·         I myself live in a low-context country. I grew up and raised with speaking your mind and always giving your own opinion. I grew up with the believes always speak your mind and give your own opinion. That is why I put myself and my country on the low-context side.

·         My BSP group contains 2 different nationalities both of them are also from western country “Germany and Ireland” those country’s are really similar to the Netherlands that’s why there on the same spot as my country.

-Time:

In my country time is really polychromic. The Dutch are always thinking about the future, working hard making sure you have money not only for tomorrow but for the future. In other country’s people live more day by day. This is why my country is on the polychromic  side.

my group has a polychromic type of view. We are all from all from western Europe and share the same type of thinking.

-       Personal space:

·         In my country and most of Europe people are what we call on  the “distant side”. This means you address elderly people in a formal way, address the teacher with sir or a doctor with doctor instead of his sir name. My BSP group share’s the same what we call “distant” way of approach

-       Nature

·         My country is on the dominating side of nature. When we need lands we create lands out of sea’s or lakes, to prevent flouting we build dikes. We don’t let nature do her job we do everything to prevent that. We don’t live side by side we dominate it overrule nature. The culture of my BSP group is the same all from western country’s all dominating nature.

-       Orientation

·         My country is based on doing. All things are structured and planned, for example is a meeting starts at 08:00 arrive before that time and the meeting has strict ending time. We are always occupied with doing something all is planned. That why a lot of people in my country have lack of free time during the week. That’s why my country is on the side of doing. Since my bsp group is from western Europe they are on the same side as my country and I.

Answer the following questions in your BSP group meeting:

a.      on which two dimensions you have the biggest similarities?

·          don’t share much difference since my group is all from western Europe we all share the same way of thinking

b.      on which two dimensions you have the biggest ‘gap’ to bridge?

·         Actually none we all have the same way of thinking as a group thing this works really well but grow wise we are narrowed. No roam to grow since our cultural differences are really slim.

c.       how do you deal with those differences in your group? Are your strategies effective until now?

·         To grow as a group we probably need to reed in on how other cultures do things and learn from that since the group is from western Europe and we share the same believes and values.

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My name is Santiago werker 27 years old international business school student. 27 years ago I was born in a city called Roses Catalonia Spain. Though is spent most of my holydays in Spain I only lived there for like one year. The reason I was born in Spain is because my grand parents owned a business renting houses, apartment and villas. After one year me and my parents moved back to the Netherlands to a small town called Tiel where my mom grew up. with my father, mother and my two dogs loes and Guus. both dogs are adopted from Spain.

Although my parents are both Dutch I find myself raised not particularly Dutch since my dad was raised in Spain and spent there most of his life he finds himself more Spanish then Dutch. I didn’t grew up with the particular Dutch customs for example eating at 5 hour clock and with the particular Dutch food like the standard meat, potatoes and vegetables. No I grew up with what is comment in Spain eat around 7 hour clock and with Spanish dishes like paella, lentegas, squid, calamari etc.

When I was young I went to a catholic school for 8 years after that I went to the mavo (high school) after 4 years I graduated and went to study in Wageningen at the hotel school. After finishing that I got my havo degree at the vavo in Culemborg in 1 year. Still not knowing what to study I worked for 2 years in a local hotel in my hometown. After 2 years I knew I would be able to do much more then just work in a hotel so I applied for physiotherapy in Nieuwegein where is studied for 2 years after my internship in my 2nd year I knew that this was not something I want to do for the rest of my life so after a lot of thinking I quit the study. After that I started questioning myself what I wanted to study and did some research and applied to the business school in Arnhem and that he point where I am today

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Intercultural Portfolio

Name: Santiago
Class: IFA05

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Above the water (visible symbols and  behavior):

1 Music

2 facial expresion

3 studying

4 festival

5 clothing

Below the surface (norms and rules)

1 friendship

2 freedom of speech

3 communication

4 going to church

5 family

Deep under water (values, basic assumptions, beliefs):

1 approach of problem solving

2 tatoos

3 respect towards others everyone is equal

4 being yourself

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1.1 ice berg

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Answer the reflection questions and explain each answer.

1.    Which role did you have in the balloon factory?

During our class I was assign to either the role of rich lander or a randomian worker. The task given to me was to take the role of a ramdonium balloon factory worker. The assignment was to stick to the role and never lose face. The rich landers are superior “ they are the boss”. So whenever they ask what was wrong, what could improve, are you happy with your job I should just obediently reply that everything is good, I loved my job and never look them into the eyes.

2.    How did you experience to be in this role (feelings, thoughts, behaviour)?

The feeling that came to me I was unpleasant since my culture I the totally opposite of the way I needed to act. It made me feel really uneasy, had a hard time not answer the questions direct and look them into they eyes

Thoughts that came up "this is just not normal, how can people function or be have like this, this is crazy". I prefer the more direct approach, how can people function like this not saying how things are and just never lose face. The hardest task was not to look them in to the eyes for me its very commend to look someone in the eyes in a conversation once a wile, not doing that made me feel really uneasy.

Behaviour it results in was I was getting frustrated because I am not used to how the Randoniums act and behave in this case. I find it also really hard to stick to my role in the case given.  Since I come from a culture where people are really direct saying how thing are. At the end I didn’t know how to act or behave was just rather confused and frustrated asking myself how can they behave like this how does it even works.

3.    How were you approached by the other group members (feelings, thoughts, behavior)?

In this class a few group members were instructed outside class to take the roll of  “rich landers” people from a western country.

After being instructed they were led back into the class finding us “randoniums” sitting in a circle. As soon as they came into the classroom they looked around and then started to approach the people in the room. They started to approach me with direct questions and I reply to them in a respectful way not losing face and not looking them into the eyes. After the first few question they seemed a bit confused about how I reacted to them, and they started to asked the same questions again. Since they didn’t get the answer they had hoped for I really felt them getting frustrated, confused and even get a bit angry for not getting the result/ answer they had expected or hoped for. After a few minutes they were led out of the class again for a short briefing.

We were then asked how we experienced the whole role playing part and to keep in mind to stick to our role.

When the ‘rich landers” re-joined us in the class roam they tried a different approach asking us how willing we were to take a raise becoming “trainees/manager” in the balloon factory. Since we needed to stick to our role it didn’t made any difference and they were left with no answer they had hoped for.

Since the “rich landers” were not getting the result they hoped for I saw confusion and a bit of frustration in there eyes, some started to speak in an higher voice, getting angry and some were just standing with no clue what was going on.

In the end they came up with the conclusion that one of our group was the leader and made us acting like the way we did. The most important part the "rich landers" forgot is that they didn’t think of our culture, value’s, believes and norms and rules, that the western approach they are used to might not work in a foreign country.

4.    What did you learn from this simulation game?

The key part I learnt is that not all cultures are the same and they need a different approach to it. I should not think that as I from a western country with norms and value’s I grew up with is the correct way to approach someone from a foreign country. I should keep in mind that to get a better result I need to adapt a bit more on the level of that person so I wont get frustrated and won’t make the other person feel not respected, uneasy and uncomfortable.