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Pau Villalba 27 and Juan Marín 16

It all started when I went to Düsseldorf, Germany two years ago. Second day was definitely the biggest adventure.(rewrite)

When I woke up at eight o’clock, my father told me that we were going bungee jumping. The moment that he told me, I was completely scared. While we were going we had (WW) a traffic jam,:(puntuation) By the time we arrived ,my mother was trembling.(puntua) Meanwhile my father was very excited.

When we finally arrived at the bridge I didn’t want to jump but my father obliged me to do it. Amazingly when I did it I enjoyed a lot, it was fantastic! In the end, when we were at home, my mother saw(WW) me the photos that she had taken and my face was really horrible.

Quite good writing!!!

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WRITING A BLOG POST20/10/20It all started when I went to Düsseldorf, Germany two years ago. Second day was definitely the biggest adventure.When I woke up at eight o’clock, my father told me that we were going bungee jumping. The moment that he told me, I was completely scared. While we were going we had a traffic jam, by the time we arrived my mother was trembling. Meanwhile my father was very excited.When we finally arrived at the bridge I didn’t want to jump but my father obliged me to do it. Amazingly when I did it I enjoyed a lot, it was fantastic! In the end, when we were at home, my mother saw me the photos that she had taken and my face was really horrible.

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WRITING A BLOG POST20/10/20It all started when I went to Düsseldorf, Germany two years ago. Second day was definitely the biggest adventure.When I woke up at eight o’clock, my father told me that we were going bungee jumping. The moment that he told me, I was completely scared. While we were going we had a traffic jam, by the time we arrived my mother was trembling. Meanwhile my father was very excited.When we finally arrived at the bridge I didn’t want to jump but my father obliged me to do it. Amazingly when I did it I enjoyed a lot, it was fantastic! In the end, when we were at home, my mother saw me the photos that she had taken and my face was really horrible.

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We were having a good time in a family vacation in the USA 4 years ago, but

the last week was definitely the craziest. (Punt) there were some ups and downs.

It all started when we came back from a theme park called "Universal" at 9:00pm. While we were having dinner my dad and my uncle decided to go to Miami as soon as we finished, (rewrite)so when we finished we started packing our things. The moment that we left the hotel, we realized that my sister had left her jacket in the room, but we decided not to go get it. By the time we arrived at Miami 4 hours later, we were told that there was a problem with the reservation and that our room wasn't available, we didn't have a place  to sleep!. Meanwhile, my little cousins started crying because they were sleepy and couldn't sleep. My parents talked to the hotel owner and he agreed to pay us another room in a better hotel.

When we finally got our room it was 5:00am. Amazingly, we were not sleepy anymore, so we went to the cafeteria to have some food. Afterwards we went to bed and we slept  until 4:00 in the afternoon. The next day we felt exhausted, at night we went to have dinner in a restaurant called Olive Garden and the food there was delicious. So it was OK in the end.

A very good one!!!

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Lucia Garaza Fortanet

It all started one day at night when we were in the streets of my town, playing hide and seek,  meanwhile I was with my phone calling my mother to go home.

I decided to finish the hide and seek, when my mother finally called me to go. The moment that I went, I jumped some stairs and twisted my ankle. Amazingly, (puntu) I managed to get up and go to the car, but it hurt(gra) a lot.

My mother asked me what was wrong and I told her everything. In the end, (punt) they took me to the doctor and they told me I had a second degree sprain.

Before going to the doctor, I put ice on it to reduce the inflammation. After telling me that I had a 2nd degree sprain they bandaged it and said that they could not remove it for 2 weeks

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We had a great experience in a summer camp last month. Saturday maybe was the best day of all. It all started at(ww) the morning while I was watching the(nn) TV with my family and my mom decided that I should go to a summer camp.

The moment that I left my home was sad because I had never been away from my home so long before, but when I arrived to the summer camp I started feeling happy. Afterwards, I met a lot of people and happily(wo) we played volleyball and when we finally finished we went to eat together.

Finally, my parents took me back home and it wasn’t until I arrived at home it started to rain.

Everyone had a great time and we enjoyed.(mw)

Past continuous??

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We had a great summer in a camping in England(puntuation) that is a popular camping  and thanks to our family we were able to come here and meet many people.

Monday for us was the best day of our lives,  because we did very funny common activities in England that in Spain they are not (missing something), like skydiving, a gymkhana, rafting ... At the time we were going to do rafting it started to rain and by the time we are (GRA) arrived at the them(nn) place two hours later and It was terrible. We couldn't walk to the river so we stayed in the car listening(mw) music .Meanwhile(PUNT) we decided to go back to(MW) camp after waiting two hours for the rain to stop but in the end we decided to go back to do something else. We didn't do fun things until a girl decided to do a gyncana and we had a great time. Then it stopped raining and we played many things. Before the gyncana we did skydiving and it was amazing and fun.

After wards we had a barbecue and we were out the rest of the day so it was all okey in the end .And finally we had an incredible night because all the friends had a party and we were happily because there was fantastic music even though it was a very rare day, it was the best day of our lives.

by Patricia Cabanillas and Belén Juan-Senabre

YOU HAVEN'T USED: PAST PERFECT AND PAST CONTINUOUS.

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In our family  holidays to sweden(spe) we were enjoying (gra)the stance in the camping and(WW) we met another family.

After wards(spe)Not clear) we had a picnic, (punt)the moment that we finished the picnic, it was a cloudy day.

It all started when we came back to one of the picnic cabin. After a few houres talking and playing.????(nC) The other family decided to go to  their cabin by the time(ww)  surprisingly the door that it was made of wood it didn't open. We were so scared because the wood has absorbed the raining water.

When we finally called to the camping stuff.  They came as fast as they could, the guys did an amazingly work. In the end they got us outside the cabin.

connectors: you haven't used properly....
Past continuous: you haven't used properly.

Julia balbastre 5

Alicia maicas 15

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It all started when we travelled to New York,(puntu) it was my dream holiday,(punt) nothing could go wrong. Everything was going on as(MW) (WT) planned but, the moment that we left our hotel the third day(punt) we didn’t knew(gra) what was ahead of us!
That day we were visiting Chinatown and lower Manhattan so we walked to our destination and we finally arrived. While we were visiting the neighborhood, we found a place to eat in (we were starving).
Meanwhile my brother complained(WT) about the restaurant because he didn’t like Chinese food we happily entered and we enjoyed amazing food. The thing is<(Present), by the time we finished, the waiter took my father’s card and he moved to the other side of the restaurant. We were astonished, because that is illegal in Spain and, as he returned our card, we finally left the restaurant.
Just as we left we left we tried to buy a souvenir with the card and, we were shocked to see it was declined. We had been robbed!
We couldn’t be more stressed, but afterwards, we entered the 9/11 museum. I had the idea to try if the card worked, almost 2 hours after leaving the restaurant. The thing is, (repet)amazingly, it worked! We really were all relieved and we enjoyed our holiday to the fullest until we flew back home in the end.

Do I have to guess your name????

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In our family  holidays to sweden we were enjoying the stance in the camping and we met another family.

After wards we had a picnic the moment that we finished the picnic it was a cloudy day.

It all started when we came back to one of the picnic cabin. After a few houres talking and playing. The other family decided to go to  their cabin by the time  surprisingly the door that it was made of wood it didn't open. We were so scared because the wood has absorbed the raining water.

When we finally called to the camping stuff.  They came as fast as they could, the guys did an amazingly work. In the end they got us outside the cabin.

Julia balbastre

Alicia maicas

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This summer I went to my apartment what(WW) is in Almenara.
The moment that I’m going to talk is one of the most embarrassing of my life.
It all started at the beach, when I was on(WW) water with my friends, (PUNT) that day was red flag, so the waves were huge.
By the time we were in the water, my friends go(GRA) inside, but I couldn,t go out for(WW) the waves.
Desesperately(PUNT) I started screaming and everyone that was in the beach was looking for(WW) me.
At the end, amazingly I got out with help and everyone applauded me.
This moment was the more embarrassing of my life.
I’m finally(GR) in save(PUNT)

PAST PERFECT
PAST CONTINUOUS
KEY PHRASES(MISSED TWO)
AND YOU HAVE MISSED CONNECTORS...
Lucía Rodríguez 23

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Peter Tibau, Diego Ramos and Pablo Hervás 

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Peter Tibau, Diego Ramos and Pablo Hervás 

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We had a horrible day in(WW) the beach last summer. It all started one day when my father found  a very cheap hotel near the beach. In the moment that he saw it, we left the town and went to the beach.

While my father was driving me and my sister played rock, paper, scissors. Meanwhile we were playing, we remember (GR)that in the car was hidden an old toy that belonged to our grandmother. We had played with that for years in the car. By the time we found it we have just arrived.

When we finally arrived to the beach just as we get out the car we remind (GR/WW)that we forget the towels so we had to gone(GR) to (MW)house. In the end, when we arrived home, it was for(WW) the night so we stayed at home.

The structure, connectors ....quite good. Just these few mistakes..!!!!

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Nestor Alabau (2) and Dario Jimenez (12)

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Nestor Alabau (2) and Dario Jimenez (12)

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We had an amazingly holiday in Disneyland last month, but we had some troubles!

The last day was definitely the strangest day.

It all started before we got out of the hotel at seven o’clock, my mother was doing some sandwiches while I was waking up my brother. The moment that we got out of the hotel the bus was taking off in front of our eyes, meanwhile my brother remember(Gra/ww) he had forgotten his nintendo 3DS.

And by the time we arrive (gr)easily to Disneyland, my brother started to feel sick and started to complain to my mother, (punt or a connertor) my mother told him to be patience (ww) because maybe it was just something that will go(wt) away, but he didnt(sp) stop complaining until we finally accepted to go back to the hotel so we stayed the whole day there.

At the end we had to see the fireworks in the hotel.

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An eventful day…

We went to Pau’s apartment which is near the beach the summer the year before(NC) but there were some ups and downs! The day was definitely amazing.

It all started at about half past twelve in the morning, when everybody arrived there, (PUNT)we went to meet another friend who lived near and we decided to go to the beach. While we were going to the beach, it started to rain and we had to go back to(NN) home and when we arrived, it stopped raining! We didn’t know what to do, shall we go back to the beach or not?

The moment that we decided to leave the apartment and go again to the beach, we had the risk of (GR=SUB)starting to rain again, but it didn’t,(PUNT) by the time we arrived to the beach, we realized that there was red flag and we couldn’t swim, so we had fun playing table games on the beach. We finally left a game in the beach and we forgot to go back for it.

Amazingly, in the end we could swim a bit and it was a great day.

Pau Forner Nº 7

Ismael Ariño Nº 3

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I´m going to talk about(don't write this sentence) a good experience that i had this summer, in Morocco. It was a very curious and amazing experience.

I was with my family that lives there. In my house (gra=subje)were living (wt)15 cosins and my uncles. I stayed there about 2 weeks. One day my family and I were walking on the desert and suddenly  a storm formed(wt) We were scared but fortunately a few hours later the storm was over.

We were happily and we return (gra)to(nn) home safely with a new expierence.

HOW MANY WORDS?? YOU HAVEN'T DONE THE NUMBER OF THE WORDS.

YOU HAVEN'T USED:  PAST PERFECT
YOU HAVEN'T USED: MEANWHILE; AFTERWARDS, THE MOMENT THAT, WHILE, JUST AS, FINILLY, IN THE END..

Pau Jover 15, Coke López 13.

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We had a great holidays in Benidorm’s beach last weekend with our friends,  but there were some ups and downs. Saturday was the worse day.

Last friday(sp) we decided to go and spent the weekend in benidorm and booked a hotel room.

It all started when we were on (ww)the beach sunbathing on the sand.

We got hot and decided to get in the water.

While we were swimming in the sea we saw some spectacular dolphins around the buoy. The boys decided to went (gra) and when they arrived one of them was screaming in pain, meanwhile the girls were having an ice cream. The moment that we noticed their screams, we called the ambulance immediately.

When we finally got back to the hotel we were waiting the doctor to calm the pain. Just as they cured their sting, my friend and I began to play cards.

Afterwards we went to eat at a restaurant and continued walking around Benidorm until bedtime. The next day we went back home and everything was fine in the end.

Mónica Blázquez  5

Mireia Sánchez  25

YOU HAVEN'T USED: PAST PERFECT.
SOME CONNECTARS ARE MISSING.=KEY PHRASES
BUT QUITE GOOD.