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This summer, American Psychologist, the official journal of the American Psychological Association, released a special issue on the topic of bullying and victimization. Bullying is, presumably, as old as humanity, but research into it is relatively young: in 1997, when Susan Swearer, one of the issue's two editors, first started studying the problem, she was one of the first researchers in the United States to do so. Back then, only four states had official statutes against bullying behavior, and the only existing longitudinal work had come out of Scandinavia, in the seventies. After Columbine, however, the landscape changed. The popular narrative at the time held that the shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, had been bullied, and that idea-which has since been challenged -prompted a nationwide conversation about bullying, which researchers around the country began studying in earnest. This special issue marks one of the first attempts to systematically review what we've learned in the last two decades-and, especially, to explore whether and how the Internet has changed the bullying landscape.

In some ways, bullying research has affirmed what we already know. Bullying is the result of an unequal power dynamic-the strong attacking the weak. It can happen in different ways: through physical violence, verbal abuse (in person or online), or the management of relationships (spreading rumors, humiliation, and exclusion). It is usually prolonged (most bullies are repeat offenders) and widespread (a bully targets multiple victims). Longitudinal work shows that bullies and victims can switch places: there is an entire category of bully-victims-people who are victims in one set of circumstances and perpetrators in another. Finally, emerging research demonstrates that bullying follows us throughout life. Workplace and professional bullying is just as common as childhood bullying; often, it's just less obvious. (At work-one hopes-people don't steal your bicycle or give you a wedgie.)

To date, no one has systematically studied how different bullying settings affect bullying behavior-whether bullying in the Northeast differs from bullying the Midwest, or whether bullying in certain cultures, neighborhoods, or professions comes with its own characteristics. What Swearer has noticed, however, in her nearly two decades of bullying research is a persistent-and seemingly fundamental-environmental distinction between urban and rural bullying. In urban and even mid-sized city environments, anonymity is possible. Even if you're bullied in school, you can have a supportive friend group at your local pickup basketball game. And there are multiple schools and multiple neighborhoods, which means you can float from one to the other, leaving bullying behind you in the process.

By contrast, in rural settings, "There aren't options," Swearer said, when we spoke earlier this month. "It's impossible to get away." The next school may be a hundred miles distant, so you are stuck where you are. What's more, everyone knows everyone. The problems of reporting a bully-or, if you are a bully, of becoming less of one-become much more intractable, because your reputation surrounds you, and behavioral patterns are harder to escape. "Your world becomes an isolated and small place," Swearer says. Isolation itself, she points out, can lead to a sense of helplessness and lack of control-feelings that are associated with some of the worst, most persistent psychological problems in any population, including bullying.

In some ways, when it comes to bullying, the Internet has made the world more rural. Before the Internet, bullying ended when you withdrew from whatever environment you were in. But now, the bullying dynamic is harder to contain and harder to ignore. If you're harassed on your Facebook page, all of your social circles know about it; as long as you have access to the network, a ceaseless stream of notifications leaves you vulnerable to victimhood. Bullying may not have become more prevalent-in fact, a recent review of international data suggests that its incidence has declined by as much as ten per cent around the world. But getting away from it has become more difficult.

The inescapability of "cyberbullying" has huge consequences not just for children but also for adults. While workplace bullying is still a new field of study, adults seem to experience bullying just as much as kids do. A 2012 study from the University of Nottingham and the University of Sheffield, in the U.K., found that eight out of ten of the three hundred and twenty adults surveyed across three different universities had been victims of cyberbullying in the last six months; about a quarter reported feeling humiliated or ignored, or being the subject of online gossip, at least once a week. The effects of adult bullying can be just as severe, if not more so, than those of childhood bullying. While students can go to their teachers if they're being bullied, if you report your boss, you could be out of a job. And adult victims of cyberbullying tend to suffer higher levels of mental strain and lower job satisfaction than those subjected to more traditional forms of bullying. An undermining colleague can be put out of mind at the end of the day. But someone who persecutes you over e-mail, social networks, or anonymous comments is far more difficult to avoid and dismiss.

Many forms of adult bullying are uncomfortably close to the sorts of shaming behaviors outlined by Jon Ronson in his recent book, " So You've Been Publicly Shamed." (Alexandra Schwartz wrote about Ronson's book for this web site, earlier this year.) Ronson documents the rise of cyberbrigades which unite in virtual outrage, on Twitter, Reddit, or elsewhere online, to disparage someone's words or behavior. Participants often feel that their abusive actions flow from justified outrage-but all bullies think that their behavior is justified. "We know from moral disengagement work that all bullies feel morally justified in their actions," Swearer pointed out. Ask people why they bully, and they rarely say, "Because I can." They say, "Because I need to." Bullies believe they are teaching someone a lesson; they claim that their victims are, through their own actions or faults, asking for it, and that they need to be called out and corrected. "They say it's retaliatory. 'I just retaliated,' " Swearer said. "They build narratives of their behaviors." Many of the bullies Swearer has dealt with don't seem to have realized that what they did was bullying: they demonstrate "a lack of insight and self-awareness." Instead, they see themselves as righteous crusaders.

In children, it's possible to instill self-awareness about bullying through schoolwide interventions. Catherine Bradshaw, a psychologist and associate dean at the University of Virginia who studies bullying prevention, has found that the most effective approaches are multilayered and include training, behavior-modification guidelines, and systems for detailed data collection. (More, in other words, than a stray assembly or distributed book.) Unfortunately, the equivalent for adults can be hard to find. Many adult bullies hide behind the idea that bullying happens only among children. They conceive of themselves as adults who know better and are offering their hard-earned wisdom to others. The Internet makes that sort of certainty easier to attain: looking at their screens, adult bullies rarely see the impact of their words and actions. Instead, they comfortably bask in self-righteous glory. The U.K. study from 2012 found that online bystanders, too, are disengaged. Observing the actions of cyberbullies, they were less concerned than when they watched in-person bullying.

In short, the picture that's emerged suggests that the Internet has made bullying both harder to escape and harder to identify. It has also, perhaps, made bullies out of some of us who would otherwise not be. We are immersed in an online world in which consequences often go unseen-and that has made it easier to deceive ourselves about what we are doing. The first step to preventing bullying among adults, therefore, might be simple: introspection.

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This summer, American Psychologist, the official journal of the American Psychological Association, released a special issue on the topic of bullying and victimization. Bullying is, presumably, as old as humanity, but research into it is relatively young: in 1997, when Susan Swearer, one of the issue's two editors, first started studying the problem, she was one of the first researchers in the United States to do so.

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When 17-year-old Taylor receives a laptop for her birthday, she immediately signs up to a social networking site used by the students at her high school -- only to become the victim of vicious online harassment and bullying that sap her self-esteem and drive her to the brink of suicide.

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This section pulls together fundamental information about bullying, including: In 2014, the Centers for Disease Control and Department of Education released the first federal definition of bullying.

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A beautiful painting covered the wall along the length of her bed; the bookshelf was adorned with books, knickknacks and childhood photos. Near a full-length mirror, recent artwork showed a printed photo of a blue whale overlaying a hand-painted background.

This girl was a gifted artist, sister, daughter and friend. Nobody who knew her suspected that she would take her own life one early morning in May. Nobody who knew her could have anticipated what they would find after her death.

Almost immediately, her devastated older brother, Marty, started going through her things to look for signs. He noticed an unusual pattern among drawings and journal entries, including a small sketch of a girl with a name beneath it in Russian.

An internet search of the name turned up the story of Rina Palenkova, a 17-year-old girl who posted a "goodbye" selfie moments before committing suicide in Russia in November 2015. The photo went viral on the Russian social media site VK.com, and the attention from her death led to the discovery of her supposed involvement with something online called Blue Whale.

Continuing to research, Marty remembered the picture of the blue whale taped next to the mirror in his sister's room. He looked through her sketches and found pages of whale drawings and magazine cutouts with the words "I Am a Blue Whale" pasted over them, accompanied by drawings indicating self-harm, suicidal statements with words of goodbye and multiple entries written in Russian.

Marty said the discovery startled him. "None of us knew about the Blue Whale game. I spend a lot of time online and hadn't come across it until it happened."

What is Blue Whale?

As Nadia's family researched the Blue Whale connection, they discovered what appeared to be an online suicide challenge that reportedly began in Russia two years ago. Since then, suicides suspected to have been inspired by Blue Whale have been reported in parts of central Asia, Europe and South America; Nadia's suicide appears to be the first in the United States influenced by the concept. The Washington Post reported about another teen suicide in Texas that occurred in early July and is suspected to be linked to Blue Whale.

The "game" is said to be administered by an online curator and takes place over 50 days. The curator gives players daily tasks to accomplish and requires them to submit photographic evidence that they have completed each, keeping their communication private.

One man who may be connected to Blue Whale is a 21-year-old psychology major named Philip Budeikin. According to Russian state news agency RIA Novosti, he was arrested in November. Authorities from the St Petersburg District Court confirmed in a press statement that there is an open investigation into his charge of "incitement to suicide." The Investigative Committee press release says that Budeikin has confessed to creating the game and used the VK.com social site to encourage 15 to 17 teenagers to commit suicide.

While authorities investigate whether there are curators who directly communicate with teens or whether the game is simply internet folklore, the challenges are said to begin at 4:20 a.m. and vary in intensity. Some reportedly start with simple things like drawing a blue whale on a piece of paper. Demands may increase to watching horror movies all night or secretly cutting oneself. It is reported that the curator sends teens to scope out the location of their deaths in advance as one of the challenges. In some cases, they go to the top of a tall building, in others a train station. Each task becomes riskier, and on the 50th day, players are reportedly instructed to commit suicide.

Dr. Dan Reidenberg, executive director of Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, a national nonprofit for suicide prevention, warns that parents need to be watching their children for any of those signs. He encourages asking kids whether they are playing Blue Whale or have friends who are playing. However, he reiterated that "there is no need to panic, because this is not yet a crisis, rather a caution to alert people in advance."

The colonel of justice for the Investigation Committee Department of St. Petersburg, Anton Breydo, launched an investigation on Blue Whale in Russia and was working with a girl who had survived a suicide attempt, according to the news outlet Novaya Gazeta. She informed him that players are told that once they start playing, there is "no way back." And if they try to change their minds, they are threatened by the curator, who claims to have all their information and says he will come after them or their family. Russian officials did not respond to CNN's requests for comment.

Novaya Gazeta reported that Palenkova's death exposed a community of suicide fans who turned her into an icon, writing messages such as "Rina, you're the best!" "You're my hero" and "I love you." After her death, Novaya Gazeta reported that in the span of six months, 130 teen suicides could be linked to the game, because almost all the victims were in the same internet group. However, it later said that only 80 of those could be proved and was criticized as exaggerating numbers that could not be definitively linked to the game.

Warning signs

Gathering evidence of such a game is difficult, and catching warning signs can be even harder for those unaware. In Nadia's case, her family said that in hindsight, the signs were everywhere.

"She was an artist," Marty said. "She drew a lot of random stuff, so if I had come across the Blue Whale game online or heard about it from somewhere, maybe I could have pieced it together a little bit faster, just like I did when I found the sketch of Palenkova. It took me less than 20 minutes to figure that out."

Nadia did an abstract painting of blue whale skeletons for a school project, and the school had it framed and displayed. The painting took on a new meaning in the aftermath of her death.

Along with the contents of her journal, the family recovered some of Nadia's social media posts from the days leading up to her death. A photo of her legs dangling over the roof of her house, pictures of self-inflicted cuts on her body and a final post of train tracks with the words "good bye," made the morning she died, all bore resemblance to the other reported accounts of Blue Whale victims.

Nadia's mother, just as confused and upset as Marty, said her daughter never showed interest in computers. "She never had Facebook, never posted pictures. Most of the time, she only wanted to draw. I never thought she would go and try to find a site or a way to chat with people and believe them."

Nadia's family also found letters in Russian among her things. Some appeared to be love letters, while others showed signs of correspondence with someone. They don't know who the letters are directed to or whether that person was involved in Blue Whale.

These writings surprised Nadia's family the most, since she had never spoken about learning Russian or even being interested in it.

The family continues to ask questions that might never be answered. The Georgia Bureau of Investigation has opened a Child Fatality Review of Nadia's suicide and is aware that the drawings and Russian writings may have a connection to Blue Whale. Special Agent Trebor Randle confirmed that this is the first case in Georgia potentially related to Blue Whale.

"Obviously, doing nothing about it has seen a rise," Randle said. "Kids know about it and may already be doing it. Parents and educators are the ones who don't know."

Why tell these stories?

Suicide is the third-leading cause of death among Americans age 10 to 14 and the second among people 15 to 34, according to 2015 statistics from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Randle says people have been nervous to talk about suicide and very sensitive to the topic, leading the issue to be under-reported. "We are doing a disservice if we're not working with parents and educators about how to prevent it."

According to Randle, Nadia was the 20th reported teen to commit suicide in Georgia this year, and since her death in May, there has been one more.

Marty warns that the signs might be hiding in plain sight. Some of Nadia's drawings were done in class: "She wrote some of this stuff right in front of her teachers. Right around her friends. This is a thing that is happening, so people should know, especially parents that have kids that could potentially be subjected to the same thing and also to ask for help."

"I never had problems with my teenage girl," her mother said, "and I never thought that this was something that could happen to us."

Google data show that online searches for Blue Whale in the United States began in late February, with interest spiking across the country in mid-May. They may be linked to media coverage in the UK around that time.

US investigators are looking into the details of what the game is -- if anything -- and it's important to note that it has remained relatively unknown. Meanwhile, authorities say that Nadia's death provides enough evidence to issue a warning to parents and educators that the ideas spread by something called Blue Whale pose a threat to vulnerable teens.

One way to address the topic is head-on. Jane Pearson, chairwoman of the National Institute for Mental Health Suicide Research Consortium, advised, "It's important to provide opportunities for people to say 'if you're feeling this way, here's what you can do about it.' "

Pearson says there is good information available for parents to help children and teenagers recognize dangers online.

Reidenberg echoed that sentiment: "Kids don't often know about predators online who will lure them into these tragedies. We want to encourage parents to talk to their kids about online safety."

'Always an opportunity to intervene'

Reidenberg warns that in some instances, there's a contagion surrounding suicide. "Youth are particularly sensitive to the topic of contagion. There are kids that, when someone dies by suicide or there's media coverage or an overwhelming amount of attention, other kids may see and attempt suicide because of the same thing."

Reidenberg also warns that sensationalizing a topic can lead to more harm than help, but he hopes that telling the story of Nadia and her family can ensure awareness.

"There's always an opportunity to intervene," he said. "Always a chance to give a message of hope, always a way to tell them it can get better."

Pearson says social media can influence the mental health of teens, though she questions whether it causes suicidal behavior or serves as a vehicle to move it along. "You could argue that kids who are troubled will seek out other troubled kids, and we actually know that from looking at social network patterns. They might actually get online and look for other troubled kids, versus finding someone who is helpful or therapeutic."

Preventive measures

Even Nadia's family says they don't know exactly how big of a role Blue Whale played in her suicide. "Based on the stuff I found, it seems like she was talking to somebody," Marty said. "How much that person had influence over what happened, that we don't know."

Steps are being taken nonetheless. The social media site Instagram issues an automatic warning to users who search hashtags relating to the game, possibly the first cyber security step of many to come.

"Instead of chasing down every trend, a better approach might be to improve social media literacy, to help kids understand how to manage it," Pearson advised.

Law enforcement and school faculties in some areas have started issuing warnings that Blue Whale may be trending in schools. The Miami Police Department created an awareness video, and school administrators in Alabama, California and elsewhere have posted parent alerts on their Facebook pages. Internationally, police and schools in the UK and New Zealand issued warnings last month.

Nadia's family is trying to uncover conversations she may have had with someone online. They're working with the GBI's Child Fatality Review Unit, which says its goal is to "promote more accurate identification of child fatalities and monitor the implementation of a statewide injury prevention plan to reduce incidents."

On a national level, the FBI says it would open an investigation if a teen has been extorted and if the extortion is coming from outside the country. Until then, it must be invited into an investigation by state and local authorities.

While the search is ongoing, Nadia's family is left with pieces of a puzzle and a message they want to share, hoping that others won't have to experience their pain.

"It's a real thing. I lost my sister to it, or at least part of it," Marty said. "There needs to be awareness. People need to know; parents need to know, to look for signs, to monitor their kids a little better."

Holding her daughter's favorite stuffed animal, Nadia's mother said, "I still don't believe it. I still think that it's a bigger dream. Some bad dream, and I will wake up, and she will text me."

Wiping tears from her eyes, she urged, "parents need to know that it's true, that it's not some story that is coming from somebody to get attention. It's true."

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family finds clues to teen's suicide in blue whale paintings - cnn

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Jaide Timm-Garcia and Kaylee Hartung, CNN

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Family finds clues to teen's suicide in blue whale paintings

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A beautiful painting covered the wall along the length of her bed; the bookshelf was adorned with books, knickknacks and childhood photos. Near a full-length mirror, recent artwork showed a printed photo of a blue whale overlaying a hand-painted background. This girl was a gifted artist, sister, daughter and friend.

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CLOSE

WICHITA FALLS, Texas - If Sandy Cadena had enough money, she would search the corners of the world for the woman she thinks killed her daughter.

Natasha Cadena, 32, hung herself July 4 in an apartment in the southwest part of Wichita Falls, according to the death report.

She may have committed this final act, her mother said. But someone else persuaded her to do it - challenged her, to be exact.

Sandy Cadena believes that her daughter fell victim to the "Blue Whale Challenge," a weeks-long social-media challenge in which strangers compel others to commit a series of 50 acts, at first innocuous, later self-mutilating. The final challenge: suicide.

Per the demand, the suicide must be on video. Sandy Cadena said her daughter's phone was found near her feet. She hanged herself after kicking a child's chair out from under her.

"Natasha was told to do hurtful things to herself," Sandy Cadena said Wednesday, as she showed her granddaughter, 7-year-old Bella, a collection of photos showcasing happier days with the child's mother. "She would cut herself, around her neck, other places and then show this woman, take a video of the cuts.

"These people pay top dollar to watch someone kill themselves," she said.

"She would cut herself, around her neck, other places and then show this woman, take a video of the cuts. These people pay top dollar to watch someone kill themselves"
Sandy Cadena, Wichita Falls, Texas
Natasha Cadena, a Girl Scout as a child, graduated the University of Arizona. Sandy Cadena told the Wichita Falls police detective assigned to her daughter's case all about the Blue Whale Challenge.

"But I don't think they believe me," she said. "I want them to believe me."

Sgt. Harold McClure said Tuesday that while the death has been ruled a suicide, the case is still open.

On Monday, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention called the Blue Whale Challenge a new and dangerous online game but told parents not to bring up the challenge to their children unless a child already knows about it or has played. That's to minimize the risk that the child will look for information on it.

CLOSE

Sandy Cadena knew her daughter, whom she calls a "beautiful soul," was the victim of harassing phone calls, often hearing Natasha Cadena yell at someone on the other line. But she never dreamed the bouts of depression and isolation would lure her child into this dark world her mother is only now realizing.

Pages in Natasha Cadena's journal, which her mother found after the funeral, detailed thoughts of suicide as early as 2009.

The relationship with "Loretta" started innocently enough, an online friendship with someone she believes lives in France.

"It's an international number," Sandy Cadena said of the number on her daughter's phone.

The calls turned to challenges and to demands for money.

Natasha Cadena, 32, of Wichita Falls, Texas, shown in previous years with her young daughter, Bella, committed suicide July 4, 2017, in an act that her mother says was related to the "Blue Whale Challenge." (Photo: Courtesy of Sandy Cadena)

"They're just damn murdering people, professional scammers," Sandy Cadena said. "Nothing but a scammer. My daughter was giving her money every month, fighting with her. My daughter paid her $300 a month and had $7 to her name when she died."

Almost as horrific as discovering that your daughter committed suicide, Sandy said, is having this woman named Loretta call with the news.

"Somehow she got my number," Sandy said. "And she told me, 'Hey, you might want to go check on your daughter. I think she just killed herself.'

"I said, no way. But Natasha wouldn't answer her phone. So we rushed to her apartment," her mother said. "She wouldn't answer her door. When I reached for my phone to call 911, Loretta was calling again."

Natasha Cadena would not have wanted to leave her daughter, 7-year-old Bella, without a mother, Sandy Cadena said. She and her husband, Arturo Cadena, will raise their granddaughter.

She believes that her daughter hadn't thought about suicide on that particular evening but she believed Loretta was coming to Texas to steal Bella.

"No one kills themselves with a pantry full of groceries, a refrigerator full of groceries," Sandy Cadena said. "Who does that?"

Scores of deaths across the globe have been linked to the Blue Whale Online Challenge with as many as 130 in Russia, where the first known case was reported, according to the Russian newspaper Novaya Gazeta, as reported in . A later investigation from Radio Free Europe found that none of those deaths had a conclusive ties to the game.

In the United States, two other deaths may be linked to the game.

Almost a week after Natasha Cadena killed herself, a teen in San Antonio reportedly answered the challenge with his own death.

"It talks about satanic stuff and stuff like that and my son was never into that," Jorge Gonzalez, the teen's father, told WOIA-TV, San Antonio. His son was discovered hanging in his closet with the phone propped up for videoing.

CNN reported that a Georgia 16-year-old, whose family asked for privacy, took her life in May.

Sandy Cadena said she doesn't cry as much anymore. She's found a calmness and a mission after a visit from her daughter in a dream.

"I couldn't sleep after she was found," Sandy Cadena said. "My daughter came to me. I had not known what happened, that she was told to kill herself. And she showed me, in a dream.

"I think she was going to fake it, with fake blood and stuff," her mother said. "But in the end, it wasn't fake."
Follow Deanna Watson on Twitter: @deannawatson66
Read or Share this story: https://usat.ly/2uNlXu1

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Mom: Daughter's suicide linked to 'Blue Whale Challenge'

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CLOSE WICHITA FALLS, Texas - If Sandy Cadena had enough money, she would search the corners of the world for the woman she thinks killed her daughter. Natasha Cadena, 32, hung herself July 4 in an apartment in the southwest part of Wichita Falls, according to the death report.

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New Jersey family to sue school district after 12-year-old daughter’s suicide

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Mallory Grossman killed herself after classmates cyberbullied her, her family says. They intend to sue the New Jersey school they say should have stopped it.

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BBC

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"He was a happy laddie, not depressed and the last type of person you would think would take their life.

"We're a very close family and I just wished he had come to me and said something."

The words of the mother of 17-year-old Daniel Perry, who took his own life after he was apparently blackmailed after befriending someone he thought was a girl of his age online.

In reality, it is thought he was "talking" to an extortion gang.

The apprentice mechanic was told on 15 July to deposit thousands of pounds in to an account or images or video of him would be shared with his family and friends or the public.

Hours later, he was dead.

It is a story that sends shivers down the spine of most parents.

In an interview with the Dunfermline Press, his mother said he had "not being doing anything wrong - just what anyone his age might do", but had been too "embarrassed and horrified" to tell anyone about what had happened.

'No signs'

Three months earlier, it is reported, the teenager had been bullied on the social networking site ask.fm and received messages telling him to kill himself.

Father and co-founder of the Cybersmile website, Dan Raisbeck, says the case is "extremely distressing" and shows the horrific consequences of "online hate".

"For a person to be manipulated in their home and bullied in their own loving home which is supposed to be where you feel safe... if that is undermined, what has a child got?" he said.

"This case is extremely distressing because of the short time span. There seemed to be no signs."

It's very common for young people to encourage each other to send sexual pictures
Dr Lucy Maddox, Psychologist

Psychologist Dr Lucy Maddox said for many young people, opening up to parents about something like cyber blackmail would be extremely difficult.

Not commenting on Daniel Perry's case in particular, she said: "Trying to talk to parents, especially if it's about sex, is very difficult, especially if you think of it as something you are ashamed of.

"Shame is a powerful driver not to tell someone something, so telling a parent that you have sent a naked picture of yourself... it's no wonder they don't tell. Sexual shame is a double whammy."

Dr Maddox said teenagers were prone to risky behaviour and were very influenced by their peer group and wanted to fit in, so might get drawn in to sending intimate images of themselves.

"It's very common for young people to encourage each other to send sexual pictures," she said.

"In the short term, the teenager gets a thrill from sending the picture and feeling grown up but they do not see the long-term consequences of that picture being passed on and then feeling very exposed.

Warning signs

For a parent, the thought of a child suffering in silence at the mouse-clicks of bullies while they are just feet away, unaware, is an upsetting idea.

But are there warning signs?

Hannah Smith, 14, who was found hanged at her home in Leicestershire on 2 August, was said to have been bullied online for months.

Following her death her father David found bullying posts on her ask.fm site - but he said there were "no signs Hannah would do this" beforehand.

Mr Raisbeck set up the Cybersmile charity after his 10-year-old son was bullied online while playing a game where competitors team up against each other.

He says there were warning signs in his case.

"There was a real stark change in his demeanour, played out in my living room. I could see he was getting frustrated," he said.

"A lot of abuse and banter goes on in this game. His account was hacked. It got very nasty, out of control.

"The biggest sign for me was the intensity of the emotional response and distress. It's as good as being attacked verbally - as if someone is screaming in your face. It's like they are there in the room with them, with dad, unaware, sitting next to them."

Mr Raisbeck got his son to talk to him about what was going on and told him he should not "bite back" if people attacked him online.

Dr Maddox, a member of the British Psychological Society, says children of the internet age face the threat of bullies reaching them wherever they are.

"Before someone could be bullied at school but could go home and have respite from it, now it can go on for 24 hours," she said.

Some ask why teenagers - or adults - do not log off permanently from sites where they are getting abused.

Dr Maddox says that although staying there might bring "very negative consequences" in the long-term, there could be short-term gains which keep them there.

"It's a hook that keeps people there. If they are getting loads of 'likes' for a picture or even one or two people spurring them on, it can be a powerful hook to stay in," she said.

"They make people feel connected and part of something and that sometimes flips, making them feel much more isolated and that the community is against them.

"That is such a powerful driver for people who feel very despairing."

'Audience of trillions'

Lucie Russell, campaigns director at the YoungMinds charity, agrees that young people might stay in an online place where they are getting bullied because they want interaction and attention.

"They feed on each other, young people feed off each other; they want attention," she said.

"Being online means they are getting attention and there is an audience of trillions."

According to a recent report from the NSPCC, almost one in five children who use social networking sites had bad experiences online last year, including bullying, unwanted sexual messages and cyber stalking.

He'd say horrible things about how I looked. He called me fat and ugly, He said I should want to kill myself
Bronagh

Ms Russell says the media likes to present the situation as one of "goodies and baddies", but that the reality is often more complicated.

"The people doing it [bullying and trolling] can also be victims themselves," she said.

"We say trolls are the baddies but it's more nuanced than this."

Bronagh received support from the NSPCC's ChildLine after she was bullied online when she was 13 and says the person who bullied her went on to suffer too.

In an account she gave through the charity, she described how accepting a casual acquaintance as a contact on a social network led to a stream of attacks.

"He started saying really nasty things about me and about my family. The first time it happened I just logged off, but it kept happening.

"He'd say horrible things about how I looked. He called me fat and ugly... he said I should want to kill myself.

Bronagh said she did not talk to her family about the problem, even though she knew they would be supportive, because the boy was saying nasty things about them. She confided in her friends and one of them challenged the boy online.

"He blamed me. I logged back on and he showed me these red marks on his neck over the webcam, and said that he'd tried to hang himself because of what I'd said about him. Then I started to feel like it was all my fault.

"I brought it to an end by permanently blocking him and I found out he was creeping [another site] to find out about me, so I changed my settings.

"Now I just wish I'd done it sooner - that I'd cut him off straight away and not let him get to me."

'Emotional cost'

Often excluded from the teenage world, what can parents do to help their children?

We need to have a massive campaign showing the real emotional cost of losing someone through this and how it happens
Dan Raisbeck, Cybersmile

Lucie Russell from YoungMinds said: "We have no idea what they are doing in their rooms and how many things can you block?

"The answer is not to close these sites down but to help young people develop resilience and understanding of themselves and their needs, and to help them find ways of meeting those needs in a better way."

"The internet is our kids pavement," says Cybersmile co-founder Dan Raisbeck.

"They are learning their social dynamics on the internet and staying abreast of that as a parent is difficult.

"Engaging with a teenager about the colour of their socks can be impossible at times, so prying into their internet habits is going to be difficult, but parents need to engage more with them and support them.

He believes everyone has a responsibility to "get rid of online hate".

"Schools, authorities and the companies themselves have to do their bit and make sure that the message gets across so this behaviour is seen to be wrong and socially unacceptable," he said.

"We need to have a massive campaign showing the real emotional cost of losing someone through this and how it happens.

"I count myself quite lucky that I managed to engage with my kid before it went too far - and that's where parents need to be."

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"He was a happy laddie, not depressed and the last type of person you would think would take their life. "We're a very close family and I just wished he had come to me and said something."

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A variety of news articles on the topic

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News about Cyberbullying, including commentary and archival articles published in The New York Times.

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What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is when someone uses technology to send mean, threatening, or embarrassing messages to or about another person. It might be in a text, e-mail, direct message, or in a post online. Cyberbullying can be anonymous, which can sometimes make it even worse. It also has a wider audience and can spread quickly. Finally, targets of cyberbullying often feel like they can't escape the bullying. If someone is bullying you at school, it's over when you leave for the day. But cyberbullying can follow you home and continue all night.

Imagine a classmate posts a photo of themselves online. Someone else makes a mean, mocking comment about the photo. Soon, that photo has been shared, liked, reposted-even made into a meme. Thousands of people have seen it, even people the person being targeted doesn't know. That's why cyberbullying can be extra hurtful: it's public, it spreads quickly, and it's 24/7.

What you can do about cyberbullying

If you see someone being bullied online, here's what you can do:
Show support for the individual(s) being bullied.

Choose not to join in on the bullying. You may feel pressure to join in if a lot of other people are. You can make your own choice not to contribute to the situation.

Don't "like" or share posts that are bullying someone. When you see negative behavior happening online, don't contribute to it.

Respond with positive support. If you feel comfortable, and if it's safe for you, publicly show your solidarity with the person being targeted by the bullying. Even one nice comment among a bunch of mean ones can make a world of difference.

Reach out to the person being bullied. Send them a private message letting them know that you don't agree with what's happening, they don't deserve to be treated like that, and they're not along. Encourage them to report the bullying, or to tell an adult.

Document and report

Let an adult know what's happening. Tell your teacher, a social worker, or another trusted adult at school. If outside of school, find an adult you trust and ask for their advice.

Report the behavior to the social media platform. The following companies provide guidelines for how to report and address cyberbullying on their sites:

Cyberbullying - Student Perspective | PACERTalks About Bullying: Season 3, Episode 23

Students provide their insights about how to address and prevent cyberbullying.

Teens Respond to "I Care Because" Statement: Cyberbullying | PACERTalks About Bullying: Season 2, Episode 18

The "I Care Because" section features statements from individuals around the world, sharing why they care about bullying prevention. In this episode teens read and respond to a statements about cyberbullying, sharing their insight and advice.

Cyberbullying: More Questions Answered By Kids | PACERTalks About Bullying, Episode 16

Age 13 is when teens are typically able to sign up for many social media accounts. But does cyberbullying only start at age 13 when teens start getting these accounts? In this video we ask kids about this question and about all things cyberbullying. Check out their amazing responses.

Cyberbullying:What Makes it Unique | PACERTalks About Bullying, Episode 13

The dynamics of using technology to hurt, harm or humiliate another individual or group are examined in this video.

Ideas for Addressing Cyberbullying | PACERTalks About Bullying, Season 2, Episode 13

In this video, are tips on how to address and prevent cyberbullying, and what to do if you see it happening online.

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Cyberbullying is when someone uses technology to send mean, threatening, or embarrassing messages to or about another person. It might be in a text, e-mail, direct message, or in a post online. Cyberbullying can be anonymous, which can sometimes make it even worse. It also has a wider audience and can spread quickly.

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Parenting, Media, and Everything in Between

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Get advice about Cyberbullying from Common Sense Media editors.

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Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else. It can include sharing personal or private information about someone else causing embarrassment or humiliation. Some cyberbullying crosses the line into unlawful or criminal behavior.

The most common places where cyberbullying occurs are:

Social Media, such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Tik Tok

Text messaging and messaging apps on mobile or tablet devices

Instant messaging, direct messaging, and online chatting over the internet

Online forums, chat rooms, and message boards, such as Reddit

Email

Online gaming communities

Special Concerns

With the prevalence of social media and digital forums, comments, photos, posts, and content shared by individuals can often be viewed by strangers as well as acquaintances. The content an individual shares online - both their personal content as well as any negative, mean, or hurtful content - creates a kind of permanent public record of their views, activities, and behavior. This public record can be thought of as an online reputation, which may be accessible to schools, employers, colleges, clubs, and others who may be researching an individual now or in the future. Cyberbullying can harm the online reputations of everyone involved - not just the person being bullied, but those doing the bullying or participating in it. Cyberbullying has unique concerns in that it can be:

Persistent - Digital devices offer an ability to immediately and continuously communicate 24 hours a day, so it can be difficult for children experiencing cyberbullying to find relief.

Permanent - Most information communicated electronically is permanent and public, if not reported and removed. A negative online reputation, including for those who bully, can impact college admissions, employment, and other areas of life.

Hard to Notice - Because teachers and parents may not overhear or see cyberbullying taking place, it is harder to recognize.

Laws and Sanctions

All states have laws requiring schools to respond to bullying. As cyberbullying has become more prevalent with the use of technology, many states now include cyberbullying, or mention cyberbullying offenses, under these laws. Schools may take action either as required by law, or with local or school policies that allow them to discipline or take other action. Some states also have provisions to address bullying if it affects school performance. You can learn about the laws and policies in each state, including if they cover cyberbullying.

Frequency of Cyberbullying

There are two sources of federally collected data on youth bullying:

The 2017 School Crime Supplement to the National Crime Victimization Survey (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice) indicates that, among students ages 12-18 who reported being bullied at school during the school year, 15% were bullied online or by text.

The 2019 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) indicates that an estimated 15.7% of high school students were electronically bullied in the 12 months prior to the survey.

See also " Frequency of Bullying."

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Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices like cell phones, computers, and tablets. Cyberbullying can occur through SMS, Text, and apps, or online in social media, forums, or gaming where people can view, participate in, or share content. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else.