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Simple activity from the University of Illinois Extension using a child's name that can be done at home.

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To promote the students' awareness and appreciation of who they are

To help students reflect on their self-worth

To enhance students' self-esteem

Enhancement of vocabulary skills

Development of thinking skills

Development of writing and reading skills

Encouragement to use synonyms and homonyms

Development of metacognitive skills

Language Arts

Character Building

Social Studies

Career Education

Students will use prior knowledge, metacognitive skills, vocabulary knowledge, and creative thinking to complete the following activity. It can be done individually, in pairs, or as cooperative teams.

Each student will print his or her name vertically down the left-hand side of a sheet of lined paper, writing each letter separately. The student will try to think of a self-descriptive word or phrase that matches each letter of their name.

Students are to write a descriptive paragraph or story about themselves, using the words or phrases they have selected and any others they can think of as they are writing their paragraphs. The students are to share their writing selections with the class.

Example

My name is Miguel. I am an intelligent young man with a magnificent mind. My friends like me because I am a very unselfish person, who is always willing and eager to help others. I am also an extremely eager and ambitious leader, who can follow as well as lead. I am brave and gutsy. I am not afraid to try new things and go to new and different places.

This activity is an excellent homework assignment for involving parents in their children's schoolwork.

How did students use their knowledge and metacognitive skills?

How did students demonstrate pride and self-esteem?

Did students exhibit an improvement in writing skills? How?

How did this activity help students increase their vocabulary skills?

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Strategies for Empowering Students - My Name Is Me!

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These activities will challenge students' minds, empower their senses of well-being, and rekindle their hearts with a commitment to values and beliefs essential to becoming and being whole individuals.

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CASEL and the Montgomery County Educational Service Center collaborated on this video to describe the competency of responsible decision making. 

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Experts say diversity and discrimination are subjects that need to be addressed with children.

Cite this

American Psychological Association. (2016, March 9). Talking to kids about discrimination. https://www.apa.org/topics/racism-bias-discrimination/kids

Discussing discrimination can be hard enough for adults. Talking to kids about the subject can be especially daunting.

People can be discriminated against for any number of reasons, including age, gender, weight, religion, income level, disability, sexual orientation, and race or ethnicity. According to the 2015 APA Stress in America Survey, most Americans feel they have experienced discrimination. However, experiences of day-to-day discrimination are most likely to be reported by racial and ethnic minorities.

Unfortunately, many people are uncomfortable discussing racial differences. But when it comes to talking to children, experts say diversity and discrimination are subjects that shouldn't be ignored.

Children notice

Many people are hesitant to talk to their kids about differences because they don't want to draw attention to them. But whether you talk about those differences or not, kids notice when someone looks different than they do. They also notice when certain groups seem to be treated differently than others.

Studies show that even infants can distinguish skin tones. By early childhood, kids begin to have more favorable opinions of people they perceive as "the same" as they are-even if the similarities are meaningless. In one study, for instance, researchers randomly assigned 6-year-olds to either a green group or an orange group. Later, the kids were more likely to remember positive things about the kids in their own group, and negative things about kids in the other group. ¹

When parents avoid talking about differences and discrimination, experts say, children learn that the topic is taboo. Children might come to believe the differences they notice are more important than they really are. And they might be hesitant to ask questions, missing opportunities to challenge and correct stereotypes.

Discussing differences, on the other hand, can help kids appreciate diversity and better recognize discrimination when they see it. In one experiment with 8- to 11-year-olds, researchers read children storybooks that either downplayed racial differences (referred to as a "color-blind" approach) or talked about the value of diversity. Later, when listening to stories that featured examples of racial bias, the children who had read the "color-blind" books were less likely to recognize that bias. Kids who learned about diversity, on the other hand, were better at identifying examples of discrimination. ²

The stress of being discriminated against

All children can benefit from talking openly about diversity and bias. But for kids in groups more likely to be a target of discrimination, such conversations can be even more critical.

Perceived discrimination has been linked to physical and mental health problems including anxiety, depression, obesity, high blood pressure, and substance abuse. Many of these problems are believed to stem from the chronic stress associated with being a potential target of discrimination. ³

Discrimination-related stress can also affect how kids feel about themselves. It might prevent them from speaking up in class, or from participating in activities that are important to them.

But talking openly with children can prepare them for dealing with discrimination, and help them keep discrimination-related stress in check.

Discussing discrimination

How can you talk to your children about diversity and discrimination? Here are some guidelines to keep in mind.

Don't expect to have "the talk" about discrimination. It shouldn't be one conversation. Rather, let the discussion be open and ongoing.

Parents often avoid talking about hard subjects (including sex, underage drinking and discrimination) because they're personally uncomfortable. Keep talking anyway. The discussions get easier over time.

Use age-appropriate language children can understand, and don't give kids too much information at once. The conversation will get deeper and more nuanced as they get older.

Learn to respond to children's questions about differences and bias as they come up naturally. Help children feel that their questions are welcome, or they might come to believe that discussing differences is taboo.

Help children understand the value of diversity. A diverse set of experiences and viewpoints boosts creativity and helps kids (and adults) better understand the world around them. On the other hand, discrimination hurts everyone-not just the targets of discrimination. When people are discriminated against, we can miss an important opportunity to learn from them.

Take opportunities to raise discussions based on what you see around you-in real life, books, television shows and even video games. You might ask: "There aren't many female characters in this video game. What do you think of that?" or "Do you think that show accurately portrays LGBT characters, or does it rely on stereotypes?"

Help kids learn how to deal with being the potential target of discrimination. Plan ahead by developing healthy comebacks or responses to hurtful discriminatory statements. For example: "What an unkind thing to say." "Excuse me? Could you repeat that?" "I disagree with you, and here's why..."

If you hear children say something discriminatory, don't just hush them. Use the opportunity as a conversation starter to address their fears and correct their misperceptions.

Challenge your own assumptions and behavior. Do you laugh at racially insensitive jokes? Do you cross the street to avoid passing people of a different ethnic group? Children learn from your actions as well as your words.

Broaden their horizons. Think about the diversity of your own friendship and parenting networks and the places where you spend time. When kids are exposed to people from diverse backgrounds, they have more opportunities to learn about others and discover what they have in common.

Thanks to psychologists Diane Hughes, PhD, and Howard Stevenson, PhD, who assisted with this article.

References

¹ Dunham, Y., and Emory, J. (2014). Of affect and ambiguity: The emergence of preference for arbitrary groups. Journal of Social Issues, 70(1), 81-98. Doi: 10.1111/josi.12048

² Apfelbaum, E. P., Pauker, K., Sommers, S. R., & Ambady, N. (2010). In blind pursuit of racial equality? Psychological Science, 21(11), 1587-1592. doi: 10.1177/0956797610384741

³ Pascoe, E. A. & Richman, L. S. (2009). Perceived discrimination and health: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin 135(4): 531-554. Doi: 10.1037/a0016059

Recommended Reading

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Experts say diversity and discrimination are subjects that need to be addressed with children.

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Ready-to-use classroom lessons spanning social justice issues and critical social-emotional skills.

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For young white students, explorations of fair and unfair, just and unjust, can go a long way in advancing anti-racist white identity. Purposeful use of literature and basic study of white anti-racists are among the key ways educators can advance such aims.Teaching Tolerance presents four short biographies for early grades classrooms, with activity ideas.

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These robust, ready-to-use classroom lessons offer breadth and depth, spanning essential social justice topics and reinforcing critical social emotional learning skills.

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Learn to be assertive without making accusations.

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An " I" message or "I" statement is a style of communication that focuses on the feelings or beliefs of the speaker rather than thoughts and characteristics that the speaker attributes to the listener. For example, a person might say to his or her partner, "I feel abandoned and worried when you consistently come home late without calling" instead of demanding, "Why are you never home on time?"

Role of "I" Statements in Communication

Thomas Gordon developed the concept of an "I" statement in the 1960s and contrasted these statements to "you" statements, which shift blame and attributions to the listener. "I" statements enable speakers to be assertive without making accusations, which can often make listeners feel defensive. An "I" statement can help a person become aware of problematic behavior and generally forces the speaker to take responsibility for his or her own thoughts and feelings rather than attributing them-sometimes falsely or unfairly-to someone else.

When used correctly, "I" statements can help foster positive communication in relationships and may help them become stronger, as sharing feelings and thoughts in an honest and open manner can help partners grow closer on an emotional level.

"I" Statements in Therapy

Mental health professionals commonly encourage people in therapy to use "I" statements when communicating with others. This technique is particularly common in marital counseling, as couples often get trapped in a potentially vicious cycle of perpetual blame without ever addressing the underlying feelings or attachment issues that may be leading to conflict. "I" statements may allow couples to work through their disagreements in a way that allows them to express their opinions and feelings to each other without assigning blame and placing further strain on the relationship.

Couples in the early stages of marital counseling may misuse "I" statements. For example, a man might say to his partner, "I hate it when you do not listen to me." Although this statement does start with "I," it might still be interpreted as accusatory and may not be the healthiest way to express feelings. A better "I" statement might be, "When you do not listen to what I am saying, I feel ignored and unloved." Therapists often help those they are treating to practice appropriate "I" statements and explore ways to respond to the feelings that these statements communicate.

"I" statements are often also effective in family counseling because they focus on the effects of a child or parent's actions rather than on the action itself. It may be easier for family members to communicate when an action is not singled out for blame, and young adults and adolescents in particular may be more receptive to hearing how their actions have affected others when the language used is not accusatory.

Examples of "I" Messages

Many people do not communicate naturally with "I" statements, and it often takes some practice before a person can use them effectively. That said, generally everyone can learn to use "I" messages, including children.

Some examples of "I" statements:

A father wants his young child to stop calling him rude names during playtime.

Common response: "Hey! If you call me a rude name one more time, I'm going to send you straight to bed!"

"I" statement response: "I feel very sad when I hear rude words because they hurt my feelings. I like playing with people who use nice words."

A woman becomes angry when her sister borrows her favorite coat and returns it with stains and a tear.

Common response: "You ruined my jacket! Are you ever going to grow up?!"

"I" statement response: "I am upset that my coat was damaged because I can't afford to replace it. I really appreciate it when the things I loan out are taken care of."

A teenage boy is annoyed with his parents, who ask him several times each night if he has completed his homework.

Common response: "Lay off me!"

"I" statement response: "I feel frustrated and annoyed when I am reminded over and over to do my homework. I am old enough now to complete my homework without reminders."

References:

1. American Psychological Association. (2009). APA concise dictionary of psychology. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

2. I-Statements. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://www.austincc.edu/colangelo/1318/istatements.htm

3. Winters, K. (2003). Family Therapy. In Treatment of adolescents with substance use disorders. Rockville, MD: Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.

Last Updated: 02-14-2018

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An " I" message or "I" statement is a style of communication that focuses on the feelings or beliefs of the speaker rather than thoughts and characteristics that the speaker attributes to the listener.

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43 Awesome Team-Building Games and Activities for Kids

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Students will have fun while learning how to cooperate and communicate.

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10 team-building activities for distance learning

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These fun team-building activities can help teacher teams, or classes, bond and maintain social relationships while schools are closed.

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Editor's note: This week our guest blogger is Hannah Gould M.Ed, RYT, who coordinates the therapeutic yoga program at NESCA. (Please read her full bio below.)

Mind-body practices like yoga are ideal for developing emotional regulation skills because to make sense of emotions, both the mind and the body must be involved. Emotions are interpreted and labeled by the mind, but they are experienced through the body. A racing heart, butterflies in the stomach, a tightly clenched jaw and even an attack of the giggles are all physical phenomena that we learn to associate with various emotional states.

Developing emotional regulation skills is a primary goal for most of my young yoga students. Regulating emotions is a critical component of executive functioning. Executive functioning covers the full range of skills required for efficient completion of tasks, including both self-regulation skills (managing attention, emotion and arousal) and meta-cognitive skills (planning, organizing, sequencing and flexibility of thinking). Emotional regulation refers to the ability to understand and respond appropriately to one's own emotional experience. Along with the other self-regulation skills, emotional regulation provides the foundation on which the meta-cognitive skills can be built.

Weathering the Emotional Storm

I think of emotions as being like the weather. They shift and change constantly and sometimes unpredictably. Our emotional state creates a backdrop for all of our experiences and activities, powerfully affecting how we perceive situations and how skillfully we are able to respond to demands. We each have our own emotional climate. Personally mine feels a lot like Southern California; generally pleasant and mild with occasional floods or periods of drought. Many of my students, however, seem to have an emotional climate more like my home state of Massachusetts where it might be warm and sunny one day and freezing with snow flurries the next.

Classroom teachers have expressed to me that they are perplexed and sometimes frustrated by the variability of some students' academic performance and behavior from one day or moment to the next. I imagine this kind of variability must be frustrating for the student as well!But from the perspective of a yoga teacher, I do not find this perplexing at all.It may simply indicate a shift in the student's "emotional weather."

Within our personal emotional climate, the weather can be affected by many external and internal factors. Sensory experiences, hunger, fatigue, excitement and anxiety are just a few of the elements at play. In order to do the important business of learning and socializing, children are constantly asked to draw their attention away from their inner experience. When teachers and parents say "pay attention", they are asking children to focus on listening to directions, complete an assigned task, or "read the room" for social cues. For many students their internal state is ignored and their "emotional weather" can quietly build in the background until it is unleashed with the force of a hurricane.

Becoming mindful of the variability of our own emotional patterns is an essential part of the practice of yoga. I know that my downward dog or warrior pose is different from one day to the next because I am different. My mood, my energy level, competing demands for my attention and the degree to which I am holding tension in my body are constantly fluctuating.

Beginning yoga students tend to meet these natural fluctuations with mental resistance or physical force. Over time and with practice, the assumptions and judgments that tend to arise quiet down and more mental space is made available for present moment awareness. The body and mind establish an open line of communication and are able to support each other, along with the breath, as an optimally functioning team.

A New Way to Pay Attention

Through yoga and other mindfulness practices, children can learn to "pay attention" in a very different way. Yoga offers tools for building self-regulation skills (such as awareness and control) that are fun, healthy and compelling for children. The balance pose called tree pose is one of my favorite of these tools to work with. To do tree pose, one foot is planted firmly on the ground like a tree trunk. The other foot is lifted off the floor, knee turned out, foot resting on the calf or thigh of the standing leg. The arms may be in a variety of positions that can make the balance easier or more challenging.

Balance poses are captivating for children and adults alike in part because they are so dynamic. When we hold tree pose, we can rarely achieve stillness for more than a brief moment before we begin to sway and need to correct our balance. When new yoga students attempt tree pose, they wobble back and forth like a sapling in a windstorm. As they become more practiced at the pose (and the underlying process of self-monitoring), the wobble subsides and they begin to resemble a deeply rooted tree in a gentle breeze.

The skills practiced in tree pose directly apply to regulating emotions. To hold tree pose, students need to filter out external distractions, tune in to internal sensations, and continually adjust their muscle actions. In any situation children can learn to engage in a similar process; noticing sensations in their bodies, recognizing the physical cues that may signal frustration, overwhelm or exhaustion, and applying appropriate techniques to maintain emotional balance.

Maintaining balance, whether physical or emotional, is both challenging and deeply satisfying. Nothing makes a child feel prouder than getting through a difficult task without the familiar emotional upheavals he may have experienced in the past. At first, this may be a wobbly process indeed. When a child melts down, lashes out or withdraws she is desperately seeking balance like the sapling in the windstorm.

Just like teaching tree pose, supporting children who are learning to regulate their emotions requires patience, encouragement, and sometimes a little hands-on assistance. It is always okay to fall down. Simply get up, take a deep breath and begin again.

For more tips to help students develop emotional regulation skills, click below.
Hannah Gould, M.Ed, RYT is an experienced classroom special educator and yoga teacher. Hannah coordinates the therapeutic yoga program at NESCA, a private pediatric neuropsychology group practice in Newton MA. Hannah has developed a unique visual yoga curriculum and teaching methodology called Yoga Connects based on her years of experience bringing yoga to people with special needs in a variety of settings. Yoga Connects parent-child sessions are offered at NESCA, and professional trainings are available for schools and other organizations. Hannah believes yoga is a natural fit for people with autism and other special needs, and has affirmed this belief by witnessing the incredible focus, boundless joy and inspiring growth of her students.

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Developing Emotional Regulation Skills Through Yoga

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Editor's note: This week our guest blogger is Hannah Gould M.Ed, RYT, who coordinates the therapeutic yoga program at NESCA. (Please read her full bio below.) Mind-body practices like yoga are ideal for developing emotional regulation skills because to make sense of emotions, both the mind and the body must be involved.

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Centervention offers free resources - lessons, printables, and activities - in the following areas: communication, cooperation, emotional regulation, empathy, impulse control, and social initiation.

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Welcome to our supplemental Social Emotional Learning Activities page!

As you will see below, many of the supplemental SEL activities and lesson plans include characters from our game-based, social emotional learning interventions. And when you use the online programs with your students, these activities will reinforce the learning that occurs during game play.

These supplemental resources - lessons, activities, and worksheets - are in the following SELskill areas: Communication, Cooperation, Emotion Regulation, Empathy, Impulse Control, and Social Initiation.

These resources are age-appropriate for elementary and middle school students and are typically used in a classroom or a small group setting. And in most cases, if materials are required for the activity, they are items that you already have in your classroom or office.
Note: Please share this page on your school website so other educators may also benefit.
Social Emotional Learning at Home

Additional Resources for Social Emotional Learning

Our classroom management plan is a step-by-step guide and includes proven strategies, tips and printables for elementary school teachers, and it covers four key components for establishing a successful, well-managed classroom.

These free downloadable posters will decorate your classroom and be great teaching resources, reinforcing social and emotional skills in your classroom and reminding students to practice their skills like emotion regulation, impulse control, empathy, and more.

Social Emotional Learning Quotes

For each of the topics below, we have curated a list of quotes. You can incorporate these quotes in your social emotional learning lessons, add them to social media images, create classroom posters, or write one on your whiteboard each day.

Need Something More Engaging And Effective For A Few Students?

Simply request a FREE Centervention educator account and start using our online programs!

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95 Free Social Emotional Learning Activities

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95 free social emotional learning activities, worksheets, and lessons to help students in elementary and middle school. Most are no-prep and ready to go.

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"kids yoga" "yoga for kids" "yoga for children yoga story for kids" "children's yoga" "yoga adventure for kids" "kindergarten yoga" "preschool yoga" "kids me...

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YOGA | MINDFULNESS | RELAXATION FOR KIDS! Screentime that gives kids SUPERPOWERS! ⬇️ D O W N L O A D T H E C O S M I C K I D S A P P ⬇️ 🍏Apple: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/cosmic-kids/ 🛍️Android: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.cosmickids 🖥️ Desktop (great for teachers!): https://app.cosmickids.com/ 📺 Roku: https://rb.gy/44r8d -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why watch on the App?

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Breathing Exercises for Kids | Belly Breathing with Stuffed Animal

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Breathing Ball (Breath for Self-Regulation) | Kids Yoga, Music and Mindfulness with Yo Re Mi

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We all work with kids who worry or struggle to gain control over their thoughts in the moment. While we can work over a longer period of time to help kids examine and restructure their thoughts, we need to also give them the tools to interrupt those thoughts in the moment! Grounding techniques are a powerful tool to help kids to connect to the here and now and interrupt spiraling worries. Keep reading to check out 10 of my favorite grounding exercises to help kids manage worry and anxiety.

Help Kids Manage Worry with These 10 Grounding Exercises

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Senses

This grounding exercise is a great go-to for kids. All they need for this exercise is their senses! Have students practice identifying:

5 things you see

4 things you hear

3 things you smell

2 things you can touch

1 thing you taste

Some people swap the final 2, and that works too! I find especially with younger students that identifying 2 things they taste in the moment can be tricky ("but I'm not eating!") so I have them do just 1 taste identification.

2. 5-4-3-2-1 Sights

If noticing each sense is tough for your student right now, try an exercise just with sights. Create categories and have students name what they see. Here's an example:

3. A-B-C Around the Room

This exercise will get students connected with that place where they are right now. Have your student look around the room and name something they see that starts with A, then B, then C and so forth. See how far they can get through the alphabet and then check-in to see how they're feeling once they reach the end.

4. Be a Tree

There's nothing more grounded than a tree! Teach your student to feel his or her connection with the ground by imaging him/herself as a tree. This sounds like, "I am firmly planted. I feel my feet rooted to the ground. My back is a strong trunk helping me feel stable in the moment. I feel my toes connecting with the ground. My arms are my branches. I feel them reach out into the world." Simply noticing their bodies and feeling their connection with the room helps kids feel grounded!

5. Power Hug

Firm pressure is great for grounding. Help students create an affirming statement to use for this exercise. It could be something like, "I am in control," or "I am safe in this moment." Practice placing the left hand on the right shoulder for a tap and then the right hand on the left shoulder for another tap. Then squeeze into a hug and say the affirmation. Tap, tap, squeeze, affirm. Tap, tap, squeeze, affirm. Repeat this as many times as needed!

6. Object Focus

Keep some unique items on hand with different textures and colors. These could be sensory items, colorful rocks, snow globes or something else. Students can hold an item in their hands and tune in all of their focus to the item. Notice the colors. Notice the textures. How does it feel in my hand? How does it feel when I squeeze it? What colors do I see? Just notice everything there is to notice about the item!

7. I am Here Hand Trace

For this exercise, you'll need paper and a pencil, marker, or crayon. Students will trace a hand on the paper. You can take this a few different directions. Students can simply press the hand into the space on the paper and feel the connection between hand and table. Or they can use the space inside the hand to write things they see or describe the room.

8. Reorientation

To re-orient to the moment, just have students name facts about the moment. You can give them a card to keep with them to remind them of facts they can state and practice practice practice! It might sound like:

9. Stomp Stomp Blow

For an active grounding exercise, have students stomp the left foot, stomp the right foot and then exhale deeply. Continue this pattern of stomp, stomp, blow, stomp, stomp, blow, stomp, stomp, blow. Feel the connection of feet with the floor. Blow away anxious thoughts.

10. Room Search

Pick one broad category and search the room. Name everything in the room that's green. How many stars can you find in the room? Say the type of shoe everyone in the room is wearing. Count the bricks on one wall.

How do you help kids manage worry?

Grounding is a powerful way to interrupt anxious thoughts in the moment! Give your kids who worry a chance to practice each one and see which one works for them. What strategies do you teach your kids? Do you have a favorite grounding technique that wasn't mentioned here? Leave it in the comments below so I can give it a try!

Resources to help kids manage worry:
Worry Workbook for Kids Worry Small Group Counseling Curriculum

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Help Kids Manage Worry with These 10 Grounding Exercises

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We all work with kids who worry or struggle to gain control over their thoughts in the moment. While we can work over a longer period of time to help kids examine and restructure their thoughts, we need to also give them the tools to interrupt those thoughts in the moment!

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We envision a society where all people are free of systemic, collective, and individual trauma. Advanced Search Our Mission The National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health promotes […]

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Use paint, crayon, marker, or even your finger!

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Lazy 8 Breathing Painting Activity for Worry Group

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Read by the author, this book aims to help tame the wandering mind.

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This read aloud explains practical ways to remain "in the now."

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Ride on a cloud!

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Guided Imagery Scripts Free Guided Imagery Beach Guided Imagery Relaxation Guided Imagery Meditation Guided Imagery for Pain Guided Imagery Scripts for Anxiety Guided Imagery Forest Guided Imagery Readings Guided Imagery Exercises Visual Imagery for Relaxation 5 Minute Guided Imagery Deep Relaxation through Guided Imagery Guided Imagery 5 Minute Vacation Guided

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Relax in a secret garden!

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Take a magic carpet ride!

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guided imagery script for kids - Bing video

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Guided Imagery Scripts Free Guided Imagery for Relaxation Stories 5 Minute Guided Imagery Guided Imagery for Children How to Do Guided Imagery Kids Guided Meditation Guided Imagery Exercises Safe Place Guided Imagery Stress Relief Guided Imagery Guided Imagery Mountain Script Stress Reduction Guided Imagery Relaxation Techniques Guided Imagery Script Guided

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Ride a hot air balloon high in the sky!

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guided imagery script ht air balloon - Bing video

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Float on a cloud!

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For younger children

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This book takes a scientific look at why our skin colors are all different and explains it in a child-friendly age-appropriate manner.

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All the Colors We Are: The Story of How We Get Our Skin Color, by Katie Kissinger

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Quick and Simple Tips to Create a Problem-Solving Wheel

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Quick and Simple Tips to Create a Problem-Solving Wheel

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14 great activities to promote working together!

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A variety of activities to teach conflict resolution and compromise

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This great video shows examples and non-examples of conflict and even a resolution example.

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We're Different, We're the Same, and We're All Wonderful! 

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We're Different, We're the Same, and We're All Wonderful! 

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Sesame Street: We're Different, We're the Same | Read Along Series

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This video demonstrates how working together is good for everyone.

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Strategies for waiting when it's difficult

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Sesame Street: The Waiting Game with Guy Smiley!

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All About Me online game for youth in K-2.

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All About Me is a great first day of school activity! Kids will answer different questions about themselves through a step-by-step process.

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Sesame Street: Will.i.am Sings "What I Am"

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Help the Color Monster figure out what he is feeling! This is a fun game to help children develop an emotional vocabulary and begin to understand how their body might feel when they experience that emotion.

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If you have a problem, don't muddle through.
Here's a simple rap about what to do.
Stop, calm down before you act.
You'll think more clearly - that's a fact.
Say the problem and how you feel.
Set a positive goal (and try to be real).
Now for some "brainy" contributions,
make out a list with lots of solutions.
Slow down, though, and use some sense
'cause you gotta consider each consequence.
Now if you've done your thinking and you're planning ahead,
you can face your problem with a little less dread.
So knowing you've done everything you can,
go ahead - try the very best plan.

- Terri Kazmier, New Haven (CT) Middle School Music Teacher

"He messed with my stuff while I was gone. My Lego set is broken. Moooooooom!" cries Zachary about his brother. Sibling rivalry is a common family problem. Mom could fix it. "Go help your brother fix his Lego set." Or she could help her children learn valuable skills in problem-solving. These opportunities for practicing critical life skills happen daily if you look for them. Collaborative problem-solving is not one skill alone but requires a whole host of skills including self-control and stress management, self-awareness of both thoughts and feelings, perspective-taking and empathy, listening and effectively communicating, goal setting, anticipating consequences and evaluating actions.

Roger Weissberg, one of the top leaders in the field of social and emotional learning and Chief Knowledge Officer for the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) and my mentor, ongoing collaborator and friend agreed to share the Traffic Light model that he and his colleagues created at Yale University with the New Haven Public Schools. The Social Development Project affected the lives of countless children, drawing from one of the lowest income communities in the country. Students learned, practiced and used these skills in role playing and real life settings over and again making the development of these social skills a part of the culture and expectations of that school system.

In addition to using this model to promote problem-solving between students in schools, it was also used for discipline purposes. If a child's behavior merited an in-school suspension, then those children spent the time reflecting on the problem, how they felt and what actions they chose. They brainstormed ways they could act differently. And they created a positive plan for how they might act the next time they were in that situation. You too can use this as a discipline tool in your home. When your child has acted in a destructive way - either hurt someone's feelings or property spend time reflecting on what they did and the impact it had on those around them. Then ask, "What if you made a different choice in that same situation? What choices do you have? And what would happen as a result of those actions?"

Dr. Weissberg writes that this promotes "consequential thinking." 1 Children begin to think through the consequences of their actions prior to choosing how to act. And that kind of thinking promotes responsible decision making. This New Haven Public Schools training was used to prevent high-risk behaviors like drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy and violence in the adolescent years. Imagine if your children were engaged in developing these skills prior to that time of high peer pressures. They would be ready and prepared with well-rehearsed tools when they are tempted by their friends and you are not there at that moment to protect them.

The beauty of this model is in its simplicity. Hang up a picture of a traffic light or print out the following one-page handout from Dr. Weissberg - Social Problem Solving Curriculum Traffic Light by Roger Weissberg et al. or use my illustration as a reminder. 2 Try this out first as a game when there's not a problem. Role play through it. Make it fun and dramatic. Adults can stand and be the stop light. Call out a problem or better yet, have kids call out a common problem they have had. Children can run toward you, the stop light. Hold your hand up and signal "Stop!" Everybody can breathe loudly to emphasize the practice and add to the fun. Now on yellow, place your hand straight out and kids can take gentle steps standing in one place while you talk through the yellow light steps below. As they become adept at the game, ask them to tell you what the yellow light steps include. Have them think out loud. Now put your hand down and announce, "Go!" They can run forward and then, try out their solution. Here's the process.

RED LIGHT
Stop! Calm down and think before you act.

No problem-solving is going to occur, no feelings repaired until all involved calm down. So take the time you and your child need to calm down. Breathe ( Remember hot chocolate breathing? or in the summertime, do bubble blowing as a way of practicing deep breathing). Take a moment for some quiet time in your own spaces. Then...

YELLOW LIGHT
Caution. Feel. Communicate. Think.
Say the problem and how you feel.
Parents can model this by saying, "I am feeling frustrated that you and your brother are arguing. How are you feeling?" It helps to have a list of feelings at the ready so that if your child struggles with coming up with a feeling, he can pick one off of a list that best represents how he's feeling. This practice alone will expand his feeling's vocabulary and he'll be better equipped the next time to be in touch with and communicate his situation. I've listed below this article three resources for feelings' lists.
Now, set a positive goal.
Before moving to "Go," have your child think about what they want for themselves and the others involved. The goal may be as simple as, "I just want to get along with my brother," or "I want to keep my toys safe." Weissberg writes that setting a positive goal for kids simply means "How do you want things to end up?"
Think of lots of solutions.
Before jumping to one solution, think of lots. "I could hide my Legos where my brother can't find them." "We could agree to ask one another before playing with the others' toys." "We could promise to repair anything we break." Involve all who were a part of the problem to generate solutions. Children who understand there are many choices in a problem situation are less likely to feel trapped into making an unhealthy decision but can step back and examine the options.
Think ahead to the consequences.
Parents can ask, "What if you tried hiding your Legos from your brother? What might happen?" Think through the realistic consequences with your children of their various solutions - both long and short term. "It might work tomorrow. But what happens when you forget in a few weeks and leave them out on your bedroom floor? Then what?" This is a critical step in helping children think through the outcomes of their choices before making them - important practice for later problems when the stakes are higher.
GREEN LIGHT Go! Try out your best plan.
Maybe your children have agreed to ask one another before they play with the other's toy. Try it out right away. See how it works. If it does not work, then talk about it and make slight adjustments or decide on another plan altogether that might work better.

Parents can use logical consequences in concert with this model. For example, if Zachary has harmed his brother, then he can generate solutions to repair the relationship. He may offer a sincere apology. He may spend time fixing the broken Lego set. He may help find a place to keep the Lego set safe. Children need parents' support in repairing harm done. They need to know that there are multiple options for not only repairing a physical object but also, repairing hurt feelings. So brainstorm options and help kids implement them.

Family meetings can be an ideal time to use this Traffic Light model too. Bring a problem to a meeting that concerns everyone. Select a fairly low stakes problem for the first one to raise at a family meeting. Gain practice with the model and with all family members collaborating on a solution. Watch as your skill as a family progresses and you are able to bring hotter issues to the table.

One positive goal I have set for my own life is to not have regrets. Acting impulsively, making quick unexamined decisions can certainly lead to regret so I particularly appreciate that this Traffic Light model includes examining consequences before acting. These are skills I hope my son will cultivate so this Summer, as the weather gets warmer and we can run out on our driveway, we'll be practicing our "Stop!," "Think," and "Go" as we work through heated first-grade issues. "E has the coolest crayons. I want them!" We'll laugh together and learn together. And I'll feel great about how I am giving him skills that will last a lifetime.

* A big thank you to Roger Weissberg for sharing his model and for his excellent work. You can learn more about Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) by visiting their website.
Feelings Vocabulary Lists How are you feeling today? Poster by Jim Borgman Children's Feelings List from the Children's Center, University of California, Santa Barbara Feelings Inventory from the Center for Nonviolent Communication
1. Weissberg, R.P., Barton, H.A., & Shriver, T.P. (1997). The social-competence promotion program for young adolescents. In G.W. Albee & T.P. Gullota (Eds.), Primary prevention exemplars: The Lela Rowland Awards (pp. 268-290). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

2. Weissberg, R.P., Jackson, A.S., & Shriver, T.P. ( ). Promoting positive social development and health practices in young urban adolescents. In M.J. Elias (Ed.). Social decision making and life skills development: Guidelines for middle school educators (pp. 45-77). Gaithersburg, MD: Aspen Publications.

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If you have a problem, don't muddle through. Here's a simple rap about what to do. Stop, calm down before you act. You'll think more clearly - that's a fact. Say the problem and how you feel. Set a positive goal (and try to be real).

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Feelings "Check-In" chart for younger children. Access the free resource in Spanish here: https://consciousdiscipline.com/resources/como-te-sientes/

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How Do You Feel Chart
Name it so you can tame it! Use this chart that depicts all eight Feeling Buddies to help children identify their emotions. This download includes one letter-sized chart that shows the entire Feeling Buddy family.
Age

Helps with

Self-regulation

Emotional awareness

Fussing and fits

Self-control

Emotional intelligence

Social-emotional learning

Use

Format

Brief summary

One letter-sized, single-sided, color printout

Materials

Related Free Resources

Related Products

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Resource: How Do You Feel Chart | Conscious Discipline

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Name it so you can tame it! Use this chart that depicts all eight Feeling Buddies to help children identify their emotions. This download includes one letter-sized chart that shows the entire Feeling Buddy family.

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For older elementary children

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Part 1
This three part video teaches Mojo about empathy, self-regulation, and perspective-taking.

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Empathy (1 of 3) | Social Emotional Learning for kids

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Part 2

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Part 3

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Centervention offers a similar activity to the Wrinkled Heart. While this activity is written for the classroom, it can easily be adapted to the home setting.

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Free resources available to teachers and families. You might start by checking out these resources under the "Families" section:
Helpful Ways To Talk About Feelings
(Ages 7-12)
Handout

Getting Started with Kimochis
(Ages 7-12)
Feeling Chart

Be A Feeling Detective
(Ages 3-6)
Beginner Feeling Chart

The Feelings Chart is also available in several other languages here: https://www.kimochisway.com/kimochis-feelings-chart-translations/

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In this brief clip,  a stop light is used to help youth remember to "Stop, Breathe, and Think" to make a choice.

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How to Make Good Choices: Mindfulness for Kids | Cosmic Kids (app preview)

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Sesame Street: Name That Emotion with Murray!

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Not only do chores build a child's  confidence and self-efficacy, but also, chores help children recognize how their actions impact others.

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, and Rebecca Hodges, WMU Child Development Intern -

The entire family can benefit from kids helping out around the house.

Even though they might complain occasionally, most children are happy and capable of helping out around the house. Establishing a chore routine and assigning chores starting at an early age will be beneficial to both parents and children. Michigan State University Extension suggests children do chores to gain a number of benefits.

Kids get more out of chores than you might think

Children who help out around the house with family chores will grow as a person. Confidence and self-efficacy can improve as your child learns and uses their abilities to achieve a chore goal. Additionally, children can learn to feel pride in their work when they are reminded that their chores help everyone in the family. Work around the house and tackling new chores also teaches children life-skills that will help them stay on task and be productive for the rest of their lives.

When children take part of the family chore load, there are benefits for everyone. If chores are divided evenly, there will be more time for parents and children to spend time together once everyone's tasks are completed. Structure and routine can also help parents build their child's self-control and, in turn, reduces power struggles with parents. Children will begin feeling more successful and confident as they master new chores, and everyone will feel proud of the work that's done.

The University of Arkansas System created an age appropriate chore chart for children ages 2 to early teenage years. This has good examples of chores that can help inform your choices when assigning chores to your kids.

Age appropriate chore ideas:

2- to 3-year-olds can put toys away, dress themselves and help put clean dishes away by sorting silverware.

4- to 5-year-olds can help feed pets, make their beds (maybe not perfectly) and help clear the table after dinner.

6- to 7-year-olds can wipe tables and counters, put laundry away and vacuum floors.

7- to 9-year-olds can load and unload the dishwasher, help prepare meals and make their own lunch.

10- to 11-year-olds can change their bedding, clean kitchen or bathrooms and mow the lawn.

Children aged 12 and above can wash the car, babysit younger siblings and help shop for groceries with a list.

It's important to keep a few things in mind when assigning chores to your kids. First and foremost, keep chores age and developmentally appropriate and be specific with instructions when working with younger children. Consistency and patience helps children take on new chore responsibilities, so stick with the family plan!

Chores benefit children and parents alike. They are an important way for you to help children feel like they are contributing members of the family household. This, in turn, helps them to learn a sense of belonging and the value of being a contributing member of a group. This value can grow as they do. So, whether through a school project, neighborhood cleanup, showing up to soccer practice on time, or serving lunch at the local soup kitchen, all of us benefit from children taking part in chores.
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and Rebecca Hodges, WMU Child Development Intern - The entire family can benefit from kids helping out around the house. Even though they might complain occasionally, most children are happy and capable of helping out around the house. Establishing a chore routine and assigning chores starting at an early age will be beneficial to both parents and children.

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https://s3.wp.wsu.edu/uploads/sites/2070/2016/08/The-big-book-of-Conflict-Resolution-Games.pdf

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This song illustrates the importance of including everyone.

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Cyndi Lauper - True Colors (MattyBRaps Cover ft Olivia Kay)

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Progressive Relaxation Scripts for Children

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Progressive Relaxation Scripts for Children