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the men are at fault because we judge sometimes from looks and women probably feel insurer and want to look like the girls in the magazines. men always want women to look like super models or women on television when that just not the cast. then men try to take there happiness and say don't put on makeup and no extensions but that what make women happy.

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We are creating a society that is okay with sexual assault and rap e. With 1 in every 6 women experiencing sexual harassment it is being normalized and neutralized. If you hear that a classmate has been raped or sexually assaulted we almost blame them for it, there is a stigma that women antagonize men.

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My hot take is that men are born and raised by these older generations that have been taught certain ways that aren’t true anymore. For example, beating your child to discipline them. It causes these men to have that same mindset growing up as well and leading it into their future families. It is a trait of anger and aggression passed down from family to family, mainly, dad to son.

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Healthy masculinity is good for men in certain problems. healthy masculinity is not losing there cool all the time or whishing up and being different if someone come in the room. healthy masculinity is helping some one that needs help or playing sports but turning it off after the game.

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Healthy masculinity is the combination of traits that make a man better without hurting anybody pertaining to being a man. This could be getting into better shape for the sake of being healthier, it could be talking about your emotions about a girl to that girl so they know how you feel, being loyal in relationships, making good friends, helping out your community, respecting boundaries for women, etc.

Its never one thing that makes a person a "healthy man", rather its the actions they take to try to be a better man. Nobody will be the perfect man, and making mistakes (and learning from them) is part of maturity.

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A man who can share his emotions and does not loose his temper at the drop of a hat. who is willing to talk through problems and try new things. Who is so confident that he does not care if others preserve him as masculine.

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There are certain situations where masculinity is absolutely needed. An example would be dads always having that third instinct to protect their children and is one of those fight or flight moments. Usually, a good masculinity is standing up and expressing your built up emotions for good.

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An example where masculinity was good is when kids are in danger and dads have a natural instinct to protect them. Like when a kid falls off a ledge or a swing and the dad catches them immediately. I think that is taught from their dad to always protect the ones you love. Another example is finding bravery and courage in order to take risks in certain situations. That can be defending children, or even taking a risk in a business in order to gain position or start anew for their family.

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I think a big example is parenting. We raise our kids to be tough because we don't want them to get bullied, but that also can come with bottlenecking emotion and only allowing anger to show, which is not the solution much of the time.

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Toxic Masculinity can be found really anywhere. A good example would be a man getting angered quickly and taking it out on the people around him as that is his way of expressing his emotions as he has never been taught otherwise. This is one of many examples; however, it fits best to show what toxic masculinity really is.

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Not being open about emotions.
Being rude in general to people.
Solving issues with violence.
Putting other people down because they are lacking confidence.
Raising kids that can't talk things out.
Treating women as above or below guys.

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We see a lot of toxic masculinity when we are dealing with little boys. Not allowing them to play with dolls or girly toys. Teaching little boys that it is okay to bully girls when they have a crush on them. This only gets worse as they grow up.

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Dictionary.com defines toxic masculinity as “a cultural concept of manliness that glorifies stoicism, strength, virility, and dominance, and that is socially maladaptive or harmful to mental health”. Going off of that definition, I think there are some problems with it. Stoicism, or being indifferent to pain, is important at many times to all people. Everyone goes through tough times. Men will always glorify strength. It’s not toxic at all, its in our genetic social hierarchies to do it. Virility, or having the strength and maturity of a man, is important to development of a boy to a man. All of these traits are good to man, but of course there is a line to some of them too. A man can talk about his emotions and be a stoic. Not talking about issues in your life doesn’t make you less of a man, and I think its a common misconception. With dominance however, men will always compete to be the best.

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I agree that men are force to be masculine and not show a ounce of feminine that include no emotion, don't cry, no expecting feeling, etc. since a child you been taught to show off your masculinity any way you can to other boys and to women. we need to teach boys that it ok to ne themselves and not to be a character you play in a classroom. Because if someone plays that character to much that can take offer there personality and that who they will become.

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Men are groomed to believe that they can only be men if they are strong, dominant and don’t show emotion. Young boys are taught from a young age that it isn't okay to cry. We allow young boys to bully girls when they have a crush on them instead of teaching them a healthy way to express their emotions. Practices like these cause men violence sexually and domestically. While most men are not violent they account for a majority of the violent crimes in the United states. I think this can be contributed on how men are taught to deal with their emotions. They are taught not to have them and to bottle them up causing them to deal with their emotions in unhealthy ways like violence. Gillette and the APA are taking steps to stop toxic masculinity, i don't think it will change much because we still have a society that expects men to bottle up their emotions.

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I agree with the side that masculinity isn't as bad as it really is portrayed in the media. Masculinity is usually what defines us as men and to take too much away from that, it is taking away who we are. I believe this causes a mix up of feelings and emotions in men and boys leading it harder to express their feelings. Thus, down the line creating a harder way of life for these men to express their selfs in the future. However, this does not mean that society can't help them. We can help these boys and teach them young to avoid this constant continuum we are stuck in as every father passes down their troubled way of expressing themselves to their son.

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I agree with the Vox article in the sense that men like to defend their masculinity because it defines them. Their suppressed emotions over time leads to a greater emotional response and defend themselves "to the last stand". I think that these normalized behaviors leads to many other problems like the article says such as a normalized sexual assault culture in men. The defense of their toxic culture is toxic in some cases because they may never see that they are wrong in certain aspects. But, masculinity can come with benefits such as leadership and bravery so we shouldn't throw it all out the window.

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I think the fault lies within the guys as they are the ones creating the perception of perfection and holding these girls up to that perfect standard. Guys give attention to the better looking girls on these platforms leading to girls who think they don't compare to them to be less motivated and to try even harder with this pressure to be "perfect".

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Yes a agree that we sexual women in most of our songs and purposely not talk about nothing else. We need to talk about more than just one thing in music in today age. I can say i experiences this for the male side of things watching it happen.

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I think the fault lies with individualism of women trying to impress people and the sexualization of women from men. The root cause is men growing up seeing all these women modeling in bikinis to show their body for likes, then wonder why it translates into an everyday thing for men to automatically sexualize women. Toxic masculinity is a big problem that many men face whether they know or not. I think in the grand scheme the way humans are hard wired and the introduction of social media and the ability for millions of people to see your pictures instantly has caused these issues because those two things don't coincide well per the examples we talk about.

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I think guys are at fault for judging women to harshly. They see super models and set unrealistic expectations for women. On the flip side I think that women are pressured into looking a certain way to impress men or get their attention.

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I think that guys are the pressure for women on social media because the girls want to impress the men and look good. I think it is the same way around with guys when they post, they do it for female validation or to get more people to talk to them.

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I believe naturally women have more social media pressure than men do. Many of their friend groups always are worried about little things like likes and comments, and it affects them much more than guys if they don't meet a certain threshold on their posts. I feel like they are also more pressured if they do get famous because then everyone criticizes you for everything you do as a women. What you eat, what you wear, who you date, etc. Then, guys expect these girls to be picture perfect online when in reality they aren't, making the girl feel even worse about themselves.

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I think that girls have more pressure  to be the social media, picture perfect person. With the skinny waste, big 🤬, long pretty hair, straight white teeth, tan, clear skin, smart but not arrogant. Guys expect girls to look like social media influencer or super models and that just not possible. I think that this leads to mental health problems and even eating disorders. for example “Pro-eating disorder movements have spread across social media sharing images and tips promoting anorexia and bulimia using hashtags such as #prone, #ana, #bonespo.” This is just one example of how women feel the pressure on social media and leads to self objectification.

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Girls care a lot more about online presence because they are expected to more often by their peers. Guys aren't expected to be on social media much at all. It also sucks for them because it's harder to look good as a girl than as a guy.

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I believe the pressure of being held up to a high standard as a women taking a selfie is the highest compared to a man. As a man, when we take selfies, we don't take 10 of them and pick out the best rather we just take one and move on. Women usually do that as they need the perfect angle, smile, and everything as that is what everyone else is doing on these platforms. Its like living up to the hype in a way as if your posting bad selfies, people might look down at you because other girls are posting perfect selfies with the best lightning and background. It is a huge difference between the two taking selfies.

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This generation of people has been truly affected in every aspect of life through their cell phone. It has brought some of their best moments of their life, or they have brought some of the low moments. I believe that cell phones are an addiction where every buzz or ping on the phone brings the user to look at it. It is a problem that will never change as it is so engrained into our society at the moment, which I only think will get worse.

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I think that every generation has their thing. Technology has advanced over the 21st century and made life much more different than it was in previous generations. I think that we know we are addicted to our phones, but it has become part of life for us. Technology grows over time, and the next couple generations will have their "phones" just like we do today. I do think younger kids however are becoming way more reliant on their devices than we were, but they aren't gonna change until they learn the problem for themselves.

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until recently... i didn't understand how someone could physically be addicted to electronics and video games till I started nannying. The 2 boys I nanny for have all the electronics you could possibly want and they are addicted... throwing tempertantrubs when they aren't allowed to have them.... crying and being depressed without them... its hard to understand unless you experience it. I think that kids and people going to suffer due to the affects of social media and electronics. I do think the talk is of self addiction is old but i think it is important to talk about.

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Cell Phone addiction talk is already old. I think its something that's worth pointing out to kids growing up, but when you are lecturing kids our age about it, they aren't going to change. The kids that know its a problem will change it. The kids that don't care will continue to look at their screens. The people who need this talk are the 6th and 7th graders that are starting to get addicted to their phones all day and still have time to change the habits.

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I think the reason for social media's creation was an easier method of communication between people. However, humans naturally want to impress others so they try to make it seem like their life is perfect to get the most amount of likes. It can boost people's egos tremendously and harm relationships with people they know all because they want the most likes on a post or the most followers. So yes, I believe it is a thief of happiness.

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Social media affects everyone. It makes everyone insecure about themselves, and creates a perspective for other people about a world that you don't live in. The people who care about social media a lot are most of the time really annoying people to be around. I think that women care about their social media presence more than guys do because they have more pressure on them to be on social media. To women, being on social media is the stereotypical "girly" thing to do.

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Social media provides society a way of showing the world who we are and what we do. However, this isn't always true as attention usually gets the best of people leading to them acting ways they don't in person. It creates a false ego and false perception of said person. Its a platform for perfectness in a world where no one is perfect. It creates false standards and fake people.

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I think social media creates a platform for people to make their lives seem as perfect as possible. As you can see in the video it illustrates how much work and how fake social media is. Social media influencers don't tell you how much time they spent on their hair, or how much time they spent at the gym. “In 2020, Orbelo found the percentage of social media users by generation using social media, millennials were a high 90.4%, GenX with 77.5% and 48.2% of baby boomers.” This shows how many people are really affected and see the impact of social media. We are all subject to self objectification, because we are surrounded by it all the time.

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I do think that women are stereotypes and sexualized like she says in the song. I personally have experience this. I am pursuing a STEM degree with less than 12% girls. As an aviation major I am constantly second guessed and questioned cause I am not as good as the boys. I have to constantly prove myself and outdo them just to be seen as equal.

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I think that her overall message of this generalization of women is correct in today's society. Women have to constantly deal with struggles and the stereotypes prevent sympathy from a lot of people because we "don't take them serious enough" as men. They cannot cross the street by themselves at night or make it to their car without worry. There is many issues with simple things that women have to do and I think that yes it is a problem that plagues our society today.

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I believe that the singer is absolutely right in her way of thinking and beliefs. Society is absolutely holding women to different standards and has different limitations. Everything thing she says has a underlying meaning to it like, "The moment that I step outsides so many reasons for me to run and hide." I personally can't relate to that quote, but I would bet money that most every girl feels that way as well. To conclude, this song still relates to the standards held on women about 25 years later.

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Yes she is right but I cant say I have experienced this because I am a guy. I have talked to many girls who have said similar things to what she says in the music videos.

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"Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes Oh, I'm just a girl, take a good look at me Just your typical prototype" This lyric sheds a light on how women are sexualized and society creates an atmosphere that women have to look and act a certain way to fit in. "Prototype" is like the perfect, barbie like girl that every man desires and our society excepts women to conform to. She goes onto say "Oh, I've had it up to here" talking about how she is tired of conforming to gender stereotypes and expectations.

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"Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes Oh, I'm just a girl, take a good look at me Just your typical prototype" This lyric sheds a light on how women are sexualized and society creates an atmosphere that women have to look and act a certain way to fit in. "Prototype" is like the perfect, barbie like girl that every man desires and our society excepts women to conform to. She goes onto say "Oh, I've had it up to here" talking about how she is tired of conforming to gender stereotypes and expectations.

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I feel like her song is very applicable to today's society because many girls are initially stereotyped into the "Barbie-loving, pink ribbon, etc." category. However, some girls know from a young age that it may not be the case for them. Also, I think that in today's society girls do have to watch out at night because of real threat of predators and attacks from men.

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The song has a huge underlying meaning of the way of life as a women. As mentioned in the song many times, they are just a "girl" and makes it seem like they are being limited for that. It seems like society is stopping Women from doing regular things because they are "girls" and aren't seen on the same standards. I have a very similar perspective as the song as it seems like society has always held back women and needs to improve.

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REMASTERED IN HD!As heard in Captain Marvel! Listen to more No Doubt here: https://NoDoubt.lnk.to/EssentialsDiscover how No Doubt's heartbreak seduced the m...

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A Stance

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Since I was a boy, I've been conditioned to be masculine.

Not only by my family and friends, but even more so by our society and our world.

Be aggressive. Be stoic. Be strong. Be dominant. Be competitive.

Don't be weak. Don't be a sissy. Don't be all mushy. Don't reveal emotions that are not masculine, conditioned by both natural and nurturing forces.

I've done my best to live up to those ideals of masculinity. I still do, to a large degree. In fact I pride myself on it. In my large, extended family, I am now considered the patriarch, with all that this masculine label encompasses.

Crying is still considered a fault. Vulnerability is still deemed a weakness. Backing down from a fight of any kind is still shameful. Showing a tender side is only acceptable in certain circumstances, certainly not in public.

Fellow men, does this sound accurate?

For men my age - 56 -- such masculine behavior has been ingrained in us since birth, literally. We played with soldiers, not dolls. If we even entertained the notion of playing with dolls, we were mocked or, worse yet, excluded from boyhood perks and rituals.

So, for most males, we stayed in our lane, drove home what it is to be a "real man," and stayed on cruise control into adulthood. And, for me, into middle age and beyond. So here I am today, a psychologically chiseled "man" from decades of social practice, personal ridicule, proud machismo and painful lessons. Look at me roar!

But wait. In the wake of the #MeToo movement and other changing social standards, there's a new label for these manly traits that I've been trying to exemplify since my first G.I. Joe "action figure" (remember, dolls are for girls).

It's called "toxic masculinity."

Many of those mannish traits I've learned over the past half century are now being labeled as "limiting" and "harmful," prompting men to reconsider what it is to be, well, a man. Are we supposed to be who we were groomed to be? Or who we are now expected to be? Or maybe a social hybrid of both?

"Traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit males' psychological development, constrain their behavior, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict, and negatively influence mental health and physical health," according to a 36-page report by the American Psychological Association.

The organization recently issued its first official warning against toxic masculinity in January's issue of "Monitor on Psychology." These new "Guidelines for the Psychological Practice with Boys and Men," is the first-ever report published by the APA specifically designed to help practitioners treat male patients "despite social forces that can harm mental health."

In other words, these same social forces have been harming my mental health for as long as I could say "mental health." I would publicly cry if I felt it was allowed in our society. Oh wait, I guess it is now. Unfortunately, this old dog isn't able to learn this new trick at the snap of your fingers.

Citing 40 years of research, the APA warns men against the "masculinity ideology," defined as a set of standards that have held sway over large segments of men, including anti-femininity, achievement, appearance of weakness, and adventure-risk and violence.

Check, check, check, check. Anti-femininity? Nah, I don't think so, at least in my case.

According to the association, conforming to the long-held social norms of this masculinity ideology can result in all kinds of emotional troubles for young boys. Such behavior can lead to the suppression of emotions, unhealthy risk-taking, inability to seek help, tendencies toward bullying and homophobic traits.

In other words, everything that has defined manhood for centuries. Where was this warning in the 1960s and '70s during my impressionable adolescent years? I'll tell you where. It was being kicked to the curb by an endless army of risk-taking, bullying, homophobic men.

"Traditional masculinity is, on the whole, harmful," the APA now warns us. Not only to women and to society, but also to us men.

For example, despite being four times more likely to die of suicide than women, men are significantly less likely to be diagnosed with related disorders because we don't "conform to traditional stereotypes about men's emotionality."

We don't? I thought I've been conforming to the correct stereotype since I stifled my first tears out of shame. Or since I first punched another kid in the face because he stole my lunch money. Or since I first joined with other boys to call weaker boys names.

Remember when such public ridicule was simply the norm, not taboo? I do. I didn't get punished. I got praised, with a sly wink and a thumbs up by older men who were my idols.

Despite the APA's new warnings, the association encourages men of all ages to now embrace the positive aspects of traditional masculinity such as courage, leadership and accountability. Courage without risk-taking? Leadership without suppression of emotions? Bravery without recklessness? Yeah, right.

If only a razor blade company would commercialize this close-shaven issue with a slick new marketing campaign. That's what us men need.

Just in the nick of time, Gillette's new "We Believe" ad addresses toxic masculinity, outdated stereotypes, and the #MeToo movement with its inverted tagline, "The best a man can get."

If this company wasn't trying to sell me more razors, I'd give it more credit for weighing in on another contentious social issue in our evolving country, as so many other corporate firms have done. Only the bottom line matters to these firms.

Toxic masculinity? OK, sure. But for most of us men, we simply call it masculinity.

It's now up to each of us to redefine what it is to be a man. Every day. Every moment. Every action. This, too, is what a real man should now do.

Recommended on Chicago Tribune

Most Read * Chicago Tribune

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Davich: For most males, 'toxic masculinity' is what raised us from boys to men

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Since I was a boy, I've been conditioned to be masculine. Not only by my family and friends, but even more so by our society and our world. Be aggressive. Be stoic. Be strong. Be dominant. Be competitive. Don't be weak. Don't be a sissy. Don't be all mushy.

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Take this pink ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed and it's no big surprise
Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?
This world is forcing me to hold your hand

'Cause I'm just a girl, oh, little old me
Well, don't let me out of your sight
Oh, I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights

Oh, I've had it up to here

The moment that I step outside
So many reasons for me to run and hide
I can't do the little things I hold so dear
'Cause it's all those little things that I fear

'Cause I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive late at night
Oh, I'm just a girl, guess I'm some kind of freak
'Cause they all sit and stare with their eyes
Oh, I'm just a girl, take a good look at me
Just your typical prototype

Oh, I've had it up to here

Oh, am I making myself clear?

I'm just a girl
I'm just a girl in the world
That's all that you'll let me be

Oh, I'm just a girl, living in captivity
Your rule of thumb makes me worrisome
Oh, I'm just a girl, what's my destiny?
What I've succumbed to is making me numb

Oh, I'm just a girl, my apologies
What I've become is so burdensome
Oh, I'm just a girl, lucky me
Twiddle-dum, there's no comparison

Oh, I've had it up to
Oh, I've had it up to
Oh, I've had it up to here

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No Doubt - Just A Girl Lyrics | SongMeanings

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Take this pink ribbon off my eyes I'm exposed and it's no big surprise Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?

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A Stance

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This story is part of a group of stories called

First-person essays and interviews with unique perspectives on complicated issues.

If you Google "masculinity" right now, you'd be forgiven for thinking that men are engaged in an epic battle over our very right to exist. " Masculinity isn't a sickness," the Wall Street Journal intones.

Who is behind this " dubious attack" on masculinity? It was a bit of a one-two punch, actually: Earlier this month, the American Psychological Association released new guidelines for working with men that highlighted a substantial body of research pointing to some of the harmful effects that the constricted enculturation of "traditional masculinity" have on men and the people around us. "Traits of so-called 'traditional masculinity,' like suppressing emotions & masking distress, often start early in life & have been linked to less willingness by boys & men to seek help, more risk-taking & aggression - possibly harming themselves & those with whom they interact," the APA tweeted as part of the guideline announcement.

The new APA guidelines, which are designed for therapists working with men, suggest that clinicians be aware of their own gender bias so as to avoid misdiagnosis of male clients; be aware of the way racism, homophobia, and transphobia shape male identity, as well as stereotypes about marginalized men; and get out the message to men that "they're adaptable, emotional and capable of engaging fully outside of rigid norms." In short, the APA suggests that treating male clients will be more impactful if therapists factor in the documented risk factors associated with "traditional" masculinity (not seeking help, struggling with vulnerability) in their treatment, and broadly remember to factor in masculinity as a gender identity when assessing the needs of their male clients.

The guidelines, which complement a similar set of APA guidelines for working with women and girls released in 2007, have been in the works since 2005, reports the New York Times. But conservative voices, in particular, were quick to dismiss the guidelines as a "frontal attack" born of the post-#MeToo political climate.

Those flames were further fanned a week later, when Gillette released an ad actually inspired by #MeToo that asked men to reexamine the phrase "boys will be boys," work to end sexual harassment, support boys emotionally, and intervene if they see bullying. "It's only by challenging ourselves to do more that we can get closer to our best," the narrator tells us.

The APA guidelines, the Gillette ad: These small cultural milestones seemed like reasonable, healthy steps toward questioning and highlighting tired, troubling ideas about what makes a man. But I'm a trans man who spent years reporting a book on masculinity, so I knew exactly what would happen next: an angry outcry. If you're a man for whom the Gillette ad felt like an attack on "your masculinity," maybe it's worth questioning how you learned to twin dominance, harm, and violence with your gender identity.

When masculinity is threatened

Because most men are taught to believe that socialized masculinity is somehow entirely "innate" (it's not) and simultaneously precarious and in need of defending, any messaging that challenges the dominant definition of masculinity can lead to what sociologists call " identity threat."

The theory, according to UC Santa Barbara sociology professor Tristan Bridges, suggests that if an identity you feel passionately about is threatened, your first response is to overperform that identity. In this political climate, men who have been taught since boyhood that being a "real man" means defending "traditional" masculinity and using dominance to police its lack in others, respond to the suggestion that they reimagine the more toxic aspects of masculinity by emphasizing exactly those toxic elements.

Bridges points to a 2013 study published in the American Journal of Sociology that found that men whose masculinity was "threatened" (by being told that they tested as more "feminine" on a made-up gender identity survey) were more likely to support war, as well as show both homophobic beliefs and beliefs in male superiority. (Women whose femininity was similarly threatened showed no significant changes.) Even more distressing, a 2012 study published in the Journal of Violence Against Women found that men whose masculinity was threatened before reading vignettes about sexual assault responded to the stories by "blaming the victim and exonerating the perpetrator more" than men whose gender identity was not threatened first.

So it was no surprise that after the commercial aired, Piers Morgan tweeted that Gillette wanted men to "take one of their razors and cut off their testicles." In the meantime, many, many triggered men vowed to throw out their razors and boycott Gillette. Just as the reaction to the APA guidelines included stories with headlines like " We Need to Retoxify Masculinity, " the Gillette ad drew ire and the promise of a boycott from men who felt "attacked" by the suggestion that sexual harassment and bullying was not key to their gender identity. In both cases, agitated men conflated cultural conditioning with identity -and then leaned into that identity, just as identity threat research predicted that they would.

"Men are not used to having masculinity defined for them, and sometimes they don't realize the little ways these really problematic stereotypes of masculinity can crop up in their own lives," says Bridges. Though the commercial and the guidelines never suggest that men should "stop being men," Bridges says they force a privileged population to look at how the conditioning they received in childhood could be harming their mental and emotional well-being.

How masculinity evolves

If this conversation is ever going to result in widespread change, Bridges thinks we have to look at another aspect of how masculinity is constructed: lack of resilience around "failure."

"We're not very good at talking with men about how to be challenged and not feel like your gender is threatened," he says. We now talk to boys about consent, he says, but not how to "retain their dignity" in the face of rejection. Instead, boys are socialized to be dominant at all costs, and to manage "failure" by "proving" their masculinity - resulting in aggressive, identity-threat behaviors.

When I transitioned, I was thrilled to feel aligned with my body. But I was also shocked by the scope of privilege my white, male body suddenly received and by the many messages I got about how I was expected to behave to "prove" my masculinity. I could walk alone late at night without fear, and I also went months without a single person touching me. I accelerated through the ranks at work, and a female friend told me that if I ever wanted a girlfriend again, I needed to not show vulnerability.

This troubled me and, eventually, I began to ask questions: What does testosterone actually do? Why do men fight? What is a "real man"? As I reported out the answers, I came across much of the research cited by the APA and arrived at a similar conclusion. I found my way back to myself by questioning the same toxic behaviors and mentality the Gillette ad highlights. By making sure our values line up with our behavior, men can create a model of masculinity grounded in integrity. The short-term reward is a longer, healthier life. The long-term effect could be ending the needless suffering of future generations of boys.

There's a lot on the line, and we all need to stand up for what we believe in. We are all culpable for the culture we're creating. We're all responsible for the person we see in the mirror, too.

Correction: A previous version of this article incorrectly cited a Washington Post article.
Thomas Page McBee is a journalist and the author, most recently, of Amateur: A True Story of What Makes a Man.
First Person is Vox's home for compelling, provocative narrative essays. Do you have a story to share? Read our submission guidelines, and pitch us at firstperson@vox.com.

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Toxic masculinity is under attack. That's fine.

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First-person essays and interviews with unique perspectives on complicated issues. If you Google "masculinity" right now, you'd be forgiven for thinking that men are engaged in an epic battle over our very right to exist. " Masculinity isn't a sickness," the Wall Street Journal intones. Who is behind this " dubious attack" on masculinity?

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We Believe: The Best Men Can Be | Gillette (Short Film)

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Bullying. Harassment. Is this the best a man can get? It's only by challenging ourselves to do more, that we can get closer to our best. To say the right thi...

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and Positive Commentary--a Problem Facing Both Genders

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Are You Living an Insta Lie? Social Media Vs. Reality

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It's a song about stereotypes about women's lives. I cannot relate to it because I am a guy but I understand how some of the issues are valid. Sometimes I like to go to the gas station at night or take night walks and not having to worry about being kidnapped is pretty nice. I really liked how the writer makes it sound like the girl is naive by saying "I am just a girl...". I think there's a lot of people that judge women's intelligence.