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I am afraid of moths

I am afraid of failure

I am afraid that end is inevitable

I am afraid that life will be serious

I am even afraid that this poem will suck

I am afraid of people that talk too much

I am afraid of people that talk too little

I am afraid that laughter will be forced

I am afraid that I'll fail my chemistry class

I am even afraid of walking in high heels

I want inside jokes

I want laughter that is so real it hurts

I want good music on the radio

I want no commercials on TV

I even want road trips with food

I want good grades

I want a pay raise

I want fall weather all the time

I want comfy sweaters

And I want cold pizza in the morning

Most of all

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I used to that everything was meaningless
But now I know different

I always find purpose

But I never feel fulfilled

I once wasted all my time

But now I feel content

If I could go back

I would work harder

I never cared in those times

But I might think differently now

I can't change the past

But I can stop myself from acting the same
I won't make the same mistakes

But I might stumble

I used to be discouraged

But now I see hope

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I am vulnerable and open.

I wonder when my heart won't be on my sleeve.

I see people with closed doors and tall walls.

I want to know why and how.

I am vulnerable and open.

I pretend that I care.

I feel nothing.

I touch emptiness where my heart should be.

I worry that people may notice.

I cry for help silently.

I am vulnerable but closed off.

I understand who I am and

I say that I know it's not healthy.

I dream that I'll change.

I try but give up.

I hope that one day,

I am vulnerable and open.

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I'm learning to let go

And I'm learning to be happy

And I'm learning to live in the present

Not suffer, when I feel overwhelmed

And I'm learning not to be scared

And I'm learning not to talk too fast

And I'm learning (though it sometimes really hurts me)

Not to take life for granted

And I'm learning to not cry

When I feel angry

And I'm learning that it's much

Much easier to be me

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I am one of a kind.

I value the words from novels more than a flashy phone screen.

I write everything from the heart.

I trust people with morals.

I honor what my heart feels.

I give voice to those who care.

I give voice to all things unfair.

I am open to change.

I make room for hurt and any feelings.

I hold myself responsible.

I am always trying to improve.

I make for what seems right.

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I don't understand

why the sky is blue

why stars twinkle

why horizons are never ending

But most of all

why people are fake

why babies cry

why people lie

What I understand most is

why sunsets are pretty

why a new year brings hope

why money can't buy everything

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I wish I could do whatever I wanted
Like say what I want, do what I want

And I dream that nothing else matters
I am happy but selfish

I used to bite my tongue and hold back

But now I put myself first

I seem to be kind and caring

But I'm really selfish.

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Let them be as dull colors
always in the background, forgotten.
but still there.

I’d rather be a messy sunset
smears of colors that aren't blended
than grays and browns.

To have brightened up a sky
to make someone's day, to make fireworks look boring,
to be the best painting of all time.

To be admired by all
no matter where or when
be looked up to
for comfort in the night
or anyone and everyone.

I’d rather be different,
and if not different,
be no one but myself
a mess of black and brown hair
that won't stay just one shade
by shady windows with a book in hand.

I’d rather be alone
than pretend to be someone else.
If I could anyone or anything
I’d rather be myself.

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Red
shoes that cost too much,
roses that are overrated,
lipstick stains that won't come off,
the place that you sleep,
where your thoughts are kept,
the word that no one wants to apply to those they love,
strawberry flavored lip gloss,
those pies that grandmother's buy for thanksgiving,
the lollipop that sits forgotten under the seat of my car,

people that talk too much,
cars that have blinkers but remain unused,
words left unsaid,
Red can make all other colors look dull.

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If I were in charge of the world

I’d cancel unhappiness,

unfair acts,

unjust people, and also

anything unpleasant.

If I were in charge of the world

There would be more weekends,

free coffee on Friday's, and

better petting zoos.

If I were in charge of the world

You wouldn’t have sorrow.

You wouldn’t have suffering.

You wouldn’t have heartbreak,

or “I hate you.”

You wouldn’t even have a tiny bit of sadness.

If I were in charge of the world

pizza would be a vegetable.

All books and songs would be free.

And a person who sometimes

forgot to tie their shoes,

And sometimes forgot to turn off the lights,

Would still be allowed to be

in charge of the world.