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All that was left by the end of their first date was a silver platter peppered in fried pickle particles, two empty pint glasses, and the bar tab, for which she paid.

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1. For this meditation, I primarily used Klinkenborg's method which he described in his NYT article "Where Do Sentences Come From?" of creating a sentence by sitting alone with my own thoughts and reconfiguring it using my own head, but it didn't begin that way. I have always thought of myself as a visual learner/writer/editor, who needs to see the words in front of me. Initially, I had an entirely different sentence that I wrote out and changed around so much that I ended up liking the original sentence much more than any of the other versions I wrote. When I laid down, closed my eyes, and thought of a sentence, I had a much easier time not overthinking myself as much. Eventually, I was able to come up with a sentence that I felt good about.

2. I used thesaurus.com to tweak some words. The word 'peppered' was originally 'covered', but I felt peppered more accurately portrayed the image I had in my head of the plate I was describing. 'Particles' was originally 'crumbs'.

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Kyle: Helped eliminate unneeded phrases and words, helped with concision and also helped me expand upon points that needed a bit more of an explanation.

Fabienne: Helped me find a better six-word sentence, helped rephrase and restructure sentences

Courtney: Gave me ideas on how to finish my final paragraph

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Kayaking through the Everglades, getting stuck between the sawgrass and mangrove trees seems inevitable. The painless path is to hop out of the kayak and give up on the adventure. I find the motivation to dig an ore in the mud and break free. Once again I am afloat amongst the manatees and American crocodiles. My arms are weak from the cycle of rowing and tunneling through the muck. In the brief moments of rest, I reflect on the progress I’ve made. I traversed miles since my trek began. I look forward to all the beauty I have yet to discover.

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Courtney: Helped me develop ideas on how to make my metaphor more straightforward with the idea I was going for. We threw around ideas with each other on how to expand on my metaphor. Once it was written, she helped with concision.

Brad: Also brainstormed with me for an hour. Gave me ideas on how to emphasize my point, and prompted me to include more drama for the effect I was going for.

Fabienne: Really got me to show and not tell when I describe action verbs and feelings. Found two cliches in my writing.

Aya: Helped me restructure a couple of sentences for the sake of concision and clarity. Found stronger verbs for my last few sentences. Changed a conjunction into a single word.

Drew: Found a discrepancy in one of my sentences. Helped restructure my sentence about my arms to pare it down to one clause. Found a stronger verb in the third to last sentence.

Hannah: Looked over final draft and omitted a final unnecessary phrase. Gave input on other ideas that could be changed, but I decided to stick with what I had.

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I wake to hospital sheets. How did I get here? "You fell off a bidet," a woman's voice calls from the doorway, as if she could read my mind.

Huh...Jeff's house? We smoked. Then Jeff showed me…his bathroom… Oh.

"Mild concussion," the woman continues, "but nothing broken." Is she here to help or harangue? She scrawls on the whiteboard: 12:03pm. Tourniquet removed.

Blood-soaked bandages cover my leg. This will scar. The woman unties the cloth that saved me today. I feel emasculated.

I consider my nurse. All gravitas, no judgment. I appreciate her care.

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Fabienne and I worked as a pair on this meditation. I came up with the idea and created a first draft, which she split into a narrative structure, and created a second draft with more showing language. I edited her second draft, advocating for stronger verbs and concision. We then collaborated on the last draft, trying to cut down as much as we could, making sure every word served a purpose.

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Alison: Helped with tenses, clarification, taking out excess
Lila: Really honed in on getting my point across, both in the letter and the meditation. Helped with sentence structure. Told me areas where I should expand my point for clarity. Helped with word choices.
Courtney: Helped with word choices and clarity in my letter.
Sarah DR: Found inconsistencies in my tenses, helped with sentence structure.

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Remi: Moved sentences around, found places for concision, found stronger word choices
Kyle: Found passive verbs where active was necessary, changed a couple of words
Hannah: Helped conclude the essay
Aya: Helped with concision