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In this novel we get to read Lily's diarys which she wrote when she was younger. She thought writing diarys was rather cliche and awkward so, she decided to dedicate each of them to Ellen Degeneres.

We get to read about all Atlas and her's time together, as well as her father's abusive episodes. Because of this, we get a much better understanding of how this impacted Lily - rather than if the book did not include the diarys.

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Childhood home, cold (like her relationship with her parents), rural.
where she grows up - She had wanted to leave for a while, but she was too worried for her mother (Jenny). She admits she was happy when her father (Andrew) was too sick to abuse her mother. That way she could finally move to Boston without feeling guilty.

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Protagonist. Owner of Lily Bloom's floral shop. Ryle's wife. Emmy's mother. Father complex. childhood trauma.

She is in a three way relationship with Atlas - her first love, and her abusive husband, Ryle. She has stuck with him because she grew up with abuse, thus she does not know how to handle it. The more it builds up and gets worse, the more she learns to accept it.

personality description: Brave, Bold and Compassionate

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The novel opens with Lily reflecting on the eulogy she gave (or rather, didnt give, her father- she was asked to say five good things about him, she stood up and was completly quiet, she stood there for minutes. Not because she was chocked up, but because she could not think of a single good thing about him). It sets the tone for the story, being both flippant in some regards and emotionally complex in others.

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Ryle abuses Lily (like Andrew abused Jenny)

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Ryle abuses Lily (like Andrew abused Jenny)

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- Tries to rape her
- Pushes her down the stairs
- Punching her
(just to mention a few)
Mental abuse as well, such as making her believe she "fell" down the stairs, and that everything was HER fault.

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This is a collection of significant quotes and sayings throughout the book. I feel as though you get a good idea of the book's context with regards to the smaller things. (so, not so much symbolism and themes etc. yet, still things that could be seen as rather important.)

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Lily's childhood friend/boyfriend, and first love. Formerly homeless. Owner of Bib's resturant. Cooking and making food has been his passion throughout his entire life.

He was cast out of his family home. Lily saw someone living in the empty house across the street from her, and it was Atlas. She took care of him (She let him use their shower, and made him lots of food so that he would not be hungry, they even watched TV together - The Ellen Degeneres Show, Finding Nemo) and they became really close. After a while he went to the marines, Lily had not heard from him since. Because of this, she felt rather sad. She therefore, did not have him on her mind anymore, though what she did not know was that he had worked his entire life to be "good enough" for her. (Even though he already was good enough, he just did not see it.) And now finally, he was.

He is loving, caring and protective.

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Neurosurgeon. Lily's husband. Emmy's father. has serious anger issues and mental problems - mostly due to him killing one of his brothers when he was a child.

He has yet to work out his issues. His only coping mechanism is taking out his anger towards the ones he loves, thus abusing them.

He is described as sensitive and very inteligent though, he is also assertive, stubborn and arrogant.

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Work: Lily Bloom's floral shop - owned by Lily, Alyssa being her only employee, untill the shop gets rather popular and they need to hire more people.

The shop is the complete oposite of most other flower shops. Instead of bright, happy colours, their flowers are dark, mysterious and gothic.
- this is also where she meets Ryle for the second time and finds out he is Alyssa's brother.

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"There is no such thing as bad people. We're all just people who sometimes do bad things." - Ryle (page 17)
shows that he himself uses this as an excuse.

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The book is written in first person perspective(Lilly B. Bloom) because of this, readers can more easily connect to the characters (especially Lily). This is because you can feel both her pain,when being in an abusive relationship, but also the love she has for Ryle when he is in a good period. so, you feel just as lost as the main character.

The story as a whole gets a lot more personal. The book would be completly different if written from an outside perspective, it would be rather boring and difficult to relate to, though when crating a first person perspective like this, you do the exact opposite.

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The writer creates the tone through the usage of sensitive topics and potentional triggers. Though, her sensitivity to these topics helps create an atmosphere that does not seem triggering. Yet, still she gets the importancy of these topics across.

The most frequent tones of the book consists of jelousy, emotional abuse and generational cycles. Other common tones might be:
- stressful
- threatened
- resentful
- ashamed
- powerless
- vulnerable
- abandoned
- delusional

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"it stops here. With me and you. It ends with us" - Lilly Bloom (page 361)
Great quote to pair this one with: "And as hard as this choise is, we break the pattern before the pattern breaks us" - Lilly Bloom (page: 360)

She tells her daughter Emmy that she wont let her go through the same domestic violence she and her mother did, she decides to divorce Ryle to put an end to the pattern.

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"You can stop swimming now, Lilly. We finally reached the shore." - Atlas (page: 367)
He is referring to finding nemo (a speciall film for the two of them. - When they were teenagers they used to watch Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming." is a reoccuring quote in this book). Though, what he means is that they can finally be together and Lily can stop worrying.

This fits well with another quote Lily says earlier in the book: "I'll keep pretending to swim, when really all i'm doing is floating. Barely keeping my head above water." - Lily (page: 60) This is in reference to when Atlas went to the Marines and Lily says until Atlas comes back for her, she will stop writing to "Ellen", because it hurts too much. This is the last time she wrote a diary entry. The fact that Atlas never came back for her hurt to the point where she tries to block him out of her memory (untill she reads her own diarys). The meaning behind the quote is rather obvious: she is hiding what is really going on and how she is really feeling , while on the inside she feels as though she can barely take it anymore.

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A photo that could resemble what the flowers look like.

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Suicide; takes an interest in how people come to such a conclution, death, dark

She meets Ryle for the first time, he's furious with anger - this is the first time we see his anger issues, something of which Lily should have taken a notice of.

we get a feel of both Lily and Ryle's personalities and how the two of them act quite differently from each other. Lily being very emotionally strong, though keeping everything to herself and never really letting things out. Ryle on the other hand, on top of the roof throwing and kicking chairs around shows he's not as good at keeping things inside - something Lily admires.

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Children growing up in an abusive household automatically normalise it, and are therefore not as good at recognising it.

Lily's dad (Andrew) is abusive towards her mother, he has also hit Lily a few times - where she ended up in a hospital. when Ryle first abuses her it shockes her, and she thinks about breaking up with him. but she stays with him and when he keeps abusing her she starts to think of it as normal. After a while she does recognise what she is doing and realises that Ryle is not good for her.

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When Ryle starts abusing Lily regulaurly she still stays with him. this being because she feels for him, he has multiple issues he deals with, some of which stems from when he was a child, and she knows that he is initially a good person. The good times they have together crosses out the bad ones.

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"All humans make mistakes. What determines a person's character is how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses.": Colleen Hoover, It Ends With Us

This is being shown rather clearly in the novel: Ryle has multiple excuses as to why he acts the way he does. He believes there is no such thing as "bad people", only "people who sometimes does bad things." this makes it okay for him to abuse Lily, or anyone else for that matter, because in his mind his actions does not resemble who he is a person. Though, what he seems to constantly forget, is to learn how to deal with things instead of apologising and making people around him feel guilty, and therefore, forgive him.

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Although she loves plants, she is scared her name (Lily Blossom Bloom) will make it seem unauthentic if she were to start a business (which she ends up doing).
Her passion for plants comes from how plants reward you with the care that is given them. "plants reward you based on the love you give them".

Lily rewards Atlas with her love for all the care that he showed her when they were teenagers and lily's home situation was not safe. Also, for when he continues to stand up for her when Ryle is abusing her.

Atlas himself has responded to Lily with enduring love out of the care that she showed him. Beyond that, Lily offers another view of plants: that while some plants need a lot of nurturing, some can thrive "just relying on themselves and nobody else".

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His sucsess with his resturants shows that he resembles that tree who was flourished by relying on itself.

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Dark and clam, big city, a lot of opertunities, new start. "Where everything is better".

Lily goes to Boston to get away from her hometown and her parents.
This is also where she and Atlas promised to meet each other when they got older.

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Unique, different, gothic, steam punk

The flower shop symbolises lily's personality - she is different from other people. Also, how she grew up in an abusive household in which she was bound to stay - this is what the chains on the flowers and the darkness surrounding the shop could symbolise.

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Negative and unpleasant things constantly occures, retainment, unlucky

The apartment turns from being a positive and safe place in which Ryle and herself can live happily together, to this dark place which Lily wants to keep her distance to, and does not even want to walk into.

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Reunion, where they all meet, elegant (it reflects Atlas' personality much like the flower shop reflects Lily's.)

It shows his power and stability - It also shows Lily how he is able to take care of himself. This is a huge contrast to when he was a teenager and did not have a home or place to stay.

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To get a feel of the energy and colour palette of the different settings.

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Lily learned how to deal with abusive relationships, Ryle learned how to make a relationship last and how he should treat his girlfriend/wife, he also learned how his anger issues hurt the one he loves, and eventually breaks their relationship apart.

Ryle’s anger issues stem from when he was a kid and killed one of his brothers with a gun (unintentionally). This stayed with him throughout his life and ruined him (this is also why he is so outraged in the start of the novel - he had just dealt with a family where this exact same thing had happened). He didn’t know how to deal with it as a child and he still does not know how to deal with it. his only way of dealing with it is to get physical - this has obvious concequenses for the people around him, this is why he does not want a relationship in the first place but Lily convinses him. this is also why Lily does not want him as a father, she does not know if she can trust him.

She tells him she wants a divorce, he - as per usual - begs her not to, she says: "What would you do? if one of these days, this little girl looked up at you and she said, 'Daddy? My boyfriend hit me.' what would you say to her Ryle?" she goes on to name all the abuse he has done to her as if it was their "daugther" saying it - this makes him understand what he has done and the importance of them getting divorced. It is a rather heartbreaking end.

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The social issue powerfully ilustrated by this novel is the anguish of abuse. The characters in this novel shows the suffering of being in love with your abuser and the strength of being a survivor.

Some cautions we all can take against domestic violence is understanding consent and learning the signs of abuse even from a young age – this is so we can better acknowledge and recognise it, and help others whom might be in such a situation.

About two women a week dies from domestic violence in England and Wales, this rate has remained rather steady for over a decade. yet still, the question most frequently asked is "why are two women a week killed?" insted of "why do two men a week kill their parter?" which shows that a lot of people still blame women - even subconsiously - for being abused.
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-23876948 : (2013)

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Home Secretary Theresa May has said she will speak to Parliament soon about how police in England and Wales can improve the way they handle domestic violence.

She told BBC Radio 4's The World at One she had been talking to Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary (HMIC), which assesses the police, "about them looking into this whole question of police response".

About two women a week die from domestic violence in England and Wales, a rate which has remained fairly steady for more than a decade.

"Too many young men, and in some surveys it shows young women as well, think that some form of abuse or violence within a relationship is a norm - part of a relationship," said May.

But men are also victims of domestic abuse. There are about 5,000 domestic violence cases brought against women every year.

Experts below discuss what should be done to address the issue.

Dealing with domestic violence is rightly at the top of the police agenda; having been a key topic of discussion at the most recent Chief Constable's Council.

It is clear that in the past not all victims have been provided with an excellent service, and that on occasion mistakes have been made. Domestic violence is always complex, with multiple organisations often being involved in cases. While accepting that more must be done with less, we must continue to learn lessons and always work to improve our responses to victims of domestic violence.

This cannot be done by the police alone and we must work with social services, local authorities, probation and third sector services to ensure there is a joined-up approach to dealing with those who are vulnerable to domestic violence and tackle it early to prevent it from escalating.

Our responses to domestic violence have greatly improved over the past few years, including the investment in specialist officers, training call handlers to better assess risks and building working partnerships with a multitude of organisations. This led to the number of prosecutions for domestic violence last year increasing by 15% to 52,500.

Working with government, police forces have also piloted multiple initiatives to protect victims and prevent potential victims, including the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme and Domestic Violence Prevention Orders.

Research has shown that on average it's the 35th incident of domestic abuse before a victim calls us. It is therefore vital we consider each and every first-time response not as a one-off but as a critical moment where we must be effective in an ongoing crisis.

We'd encourage anyone who is suffering at the hands of a partner to call police on 101 or 999 in an emergency.

I've been practising almost 17 years as a family lawyer.

Early on the police were totally useless, [they] didn't believe that domestic violence happens and were not particularly proactive.

But my experience now is that the police are proactive and they do act. You can get hold of [officers] very quickly if you have a client in this position.

One reason for deaths, and domestic violence generally, is what Theresa May said about it being "normal". Sometimes when a woman, or a man, is in an abusive relationship, they're used to it.

And it's only when it becomes so bad that people decide they can't actually live like this. But sometimes it's gone far too far.

It's about educating from a young age about respecting people in relationships, and that if you do things like this there are going to be severe consequences.

[Another reason] is that whilst the police are much better than they were in dealing with domestic abuse issues, it's when you come to the courts that's the problem.

If you want to get an injunction to protect somebody, so their husband or partner cannot come within "x" distance, those orders are very easy to get.

The major problem is when it comes to getting the abuser out of the house.

[I have clients] with children who leave the home because it's so unbearable. The police were helping, Women's Aid were helping, but obviously I need to get [the abuser] out of the house so I can get [the victim] back in.

[One woman's] in torrid accommodation and the court is only listing this hearing in two months' time, [even though] I write and write.

And this lady has her children crying and crying, about to start school, they want to see their dog, and sometimes it's the easy option to go back.

So it's not just about the immediate "What are the police doing?", it's about looking at housing arrangements, making sure that the person who has been put into the safekeeping thinks: "There's going to be an end to this very soon and my children are going to back in their environment."

That's where, in my view, the law needs to be changed. There are situations where the courts need to put aside the normal rules and say that it's bad to keep children in this position.

I feel nervous writing about this, even though my own experience of domestic abuse means I am more qualified than most to have an opinion on this issue.

I think that this is one of the reasons why progress has yet to be made, and suggests the beginning of an answer. People are afraid to talk about it. Part of why I feel nervous writing about this is the stigma attached to domestic abuse.

Another reason is the sort of reactions women speaking out against domestic violence can be met with. "Feminist" has become a dirty word. Debates on this issue can so easily be misconstrued as an attack on men.

We ask: "Why is it that two women a week are killed by their partner?" But the issue cannot be properly addressed until we ask the complementary question: "Why is it that two men a week kill their partners?"

I can begin only to answer from my own experience - that in a domestic situation, when no-one speaks up, violence escalates. A paradox lies in that violence, although a temporary exertion of control, is in fact the most eloquent expression of its loss.

And control is what domestic abuse is all about. It was about my dad feeling a devastating necessity to hold the power. Perceived disobedience, however slight, was threatening to his sense of identity and self-worth. His father treated him the same way, I know that it was learnt.

It is going to take everyone engaging openly in this debate, as a problem that we all share, before we can expect to make any progress. Women should not feel reluctance and shame in speaking out. Men should feel that they have a rightful, central part in the debate too, without being judged for it. We can no longer afford to avoid debate just because it is too uncomfortable, too painful, too close to home.

Domestic violence will not be stopped without a significant change in attitudes and greater investment in services. We have seen some improvements, not least in the prosecution of domestic violence cases by the CPS, but the attitudes which allow domestic violence to thrive are still deeply entrenched in society.

Myths, like the idea that "it takes two to fight" or a woman experiencing abuse "should just leave", are very widely believed. Unfortunately many of those tasked with intervening to stop domestic violence, like police officers, are also influenced by prevailing social attitudes and therefore sometimes fail to act in the most effective ways to stop violence.

Because so many domestic violence support services are constantly fighting for survival against a lack of funding, and even funding cuts, too many women are struggling to find a safe place to escape to. And when they have escaped, services based on their individual needs to help them and their children rebuild their lives are increasingly scarce.

Right now we need an end to cuts and security of funding for the services which keep women safe in emergencies. In the longer term, the attitudes towards women and relationships that underpin violence need to be challenged: through specialist training for police officers, social workers and other professionals, as well as through compulsory relationships education in schools.

Domestic violence and femicide is the far end of a spectrum of violence against women that begins with street harassment and online trolling. We won't end domestic violence until we end sexism.

While we welcome the broad thrust of the initiative and the concerns raised by the home secretary, on the basis of equality we still cannot understand why the focus and emphasis remains on female victims rather than all victims.

The Home Office's own figures show that one in three victims of domestic abuse are male and over 4,000 women per year are prosecuted for domestic abuse yet the government narrative continues to be on men committing domestic abuse on women.

This often unacceptably relegates men (and by extension their children) to being a footnote in the debate on domestic abuse solutions. In an age of equality, and to ensure all victims receive the support and recognition they need, irrelevant of gender or sexuality, there has to be a sea change in attitude and that comes from the top.

Any of the initiatives the home secretary is promoting, such as improved training for police officers and better education within schools, has to continually explain and recognise on equal terms that domestic abuse against men is as awful as domestic abuse against women. Only then can we say any such initiatives are successful for all victims and achieve the change we need to see.

The first incident of domestic violence is often difficult to stop, however repeat incidents of domestic violence is where all agencies need to improve.

Most agencies have training already in place so that isn't the answer, and national standards will only be useful if they are mandatory, and monitoring and accountability takes place.

While agencies have discretion on how to act and deal [with domestic abuse], there will always be issues and failures. The police cannot work in isolation to combat domestic violence and we must look at the [risk assessment models in place] to ascertain whether they are assisting victims and putting appropriate safety measures in place.

Monitoring and accountability is the key, not just for the police but for all agencies involved.

Police and the majority of agencies often deal with the immediate issues of domestic violence - predominantly safety and any legal address - and therefore perhaps don't always take into account the levels of trauma and impact that domestic violence has on a victim, and find the rationale of many victims difficult to comprehend.

Why? Because domestic violence is complex and the emotional and psychological impact is immense from the incidents, memories, triggers and associations.

To begin to understand, explore, reflect and work through this impact - for a victim and all directly involved - takes time in order to heal and recover and for them to comprehend what has happened.

So you have police and other agencies wanting immediate answers and decisions from a victim and they are often not, at the time, in a position to give them.

If you, or someone you know, is suffering from domestic abuse, you can seek help and information from Women's Aid, Refuge, ManKind. If you wish to report domestic abuse, dial 999 in an emergency. Otherwise, contact numbers for the UK nations can be found on the government website.

More on this story

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Viewpoints: What should be done about domestic violence?

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Home Secretary Theresa May has said she will speak to Parliament soon about how police in England and Wales can improve the way they handle domestic violence. She told BBC Radio 4's The World at One she had been talking to Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary (HMIC), which assesses the police, "about them looking into this whole question of police response".

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14.02.2018

Dear diary,

This is probably the last time you will ever hear from me. And before you get all sad, its not that bad, really, I will be fine. Nevertheless, at this point you are probably wondering “Atlas, whatever could have made you come to such a conclusion?” well, her.

I walk by their window every day, wishing it was me kissing her, loving her, touching her. I imagine what it must be like, waking up to those beautiful eyes looking straight to your soul. Stroking her soft auburn hair while she embraces you. They live straight across the street from my restaurant, Bib’s. There is this huge window in their living room which invites you to look straight into their lives. Now before you judge me, I did hesitate at first and went for weeks trying nothing but to ignore the window. This was until a couple of months ago where I felt as though I had to. What if Ryle was abusing her? Sure, he had “quit” and “become a better person”, but anyone can say that. Right? So, I peeked.

It turned into my daily routine. Every day I see them getting happier, more compassionate and falling deeper and deeper in love. What they don’t know is that every day I get one step closer. I have not felt this way since high school – I had hoped I would never have to feel this way again, but here we are. What makes it worse this time is that it is MY fault. I let her go. I did not fight hard enough. I did not want to destroy their family. And I mean, how could I? even though, yes, I would probably - no – definitely, make a much better father and husband, I just could not split up their family.

I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving; I don’t know what I would have told them – or if I would be able to lie. If I had told them the truth they would have wanted to “help” me and take me to a hospital. But really, that’s not what I want. I went back to Maine yesterday; I could not get myself to go to the house, so I waited until today. All the memories flushing back at such a speed. I was looking back at when I almost ended it all and to be honest, I would not have missed out on much. I was alone then, I’m alone now. The only difference is back then I still had a hope that I would end up with her – she was my motivation, but now, she has left me with nothing. I am not too mad at her though, it’s not her fault she fell for Ryle, but she fell for me first. I was her first love, I know that. Now, how could she just give that up?

Lily, if you are to ever read this, know that I always loved you and don’t blame you, I am glad you are happy. Besides, this is where I am meant to be. This is home.

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"All humans make mistakes. What determines a person's character aren't the misstakes we make. it's how we take those mistakes and turn them into lessons rather than excuses". - Ryle

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"fifteen seconds. That's all it takes to completly change everything about a person. Fefteen." - Lily

This is said right after Ryle abused her for the first time and she now sees him as a completly different person - she used to think of him as someone who would never hurt her, now that image has changed.

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Lily's mother. Widow. Former victom of Andrew's abuse. Possible abandonment issues (after Andrew died she told Lily she wanted to move to Boston, where she lives, so she won't be alone in Maine.)

After Lily tells her Ryle is abusing her, she teaches her what to do when in an abusive relationship and how to get out of it.

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Lily's father - Jenny's husband. Former Mayor of Plethora, Maine. Former abuser of Jenny and Lily. Dies of cancer.

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Lily's best friend and co-worker. Ryles sister. Rylee's (aka: Issa) mother.
She helps Lily end her abusive and toxic relationship with Ryle, she says, as her friend she will hate her if she does not end the relationship with Ryle, even though he is her brother.

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The novel is written by Colleen Hoover (published on August the 2nd in 2016). It's genres are romance and contemporary romance.

It is inspired by a real story, on the first page it says: "For my father, who tried his very best not to be his worst. And for my mother, who made sure we never saw him at his worst." Although she has said that not all of the parts were completly true, it still makes the story all the more interesting and heartbreaking.

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"Naked truths aren't always pretty." - Ryle (page: 16)

Ryle and Lily has this 'game?' where one of them says "naked truth" and they both have to be completly honest.

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https://www.supersummary.com/subscribe/it-ends-with-us/ - summary of the book + symbolism, themes etc.

https://www.bookcompanion.com/iewu_character_list2.html - character list.

https://dailytimes.com.pk/442759/it-ends-with-us-is-powerful-enthusiastic-and-personal/ - an article about the book.

https://dailyevergreen.com/115633/opinion/booktok-review-it-ends-with-us-powerfully-illustrates-anguish-of-abuse/ - a book review.