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Beard, Amanda, and Rebecca Paley. In the Water They Can't See You Cry: A Memoir. New York City, Simon & Schuster, 2012.

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While pursuing her swimming dreams Amanda attended Irvine High school in Irvine California.

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Now Amanda lives in gig harbor with her two children and her husband. She has a swim school called "Beard swim co."

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Amanda gave birth to her daughter Doone Isla Brown on June 19th of 2020, at 3:34 pm.

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On September 15 of 2009 she gave birth to her son named Blaise Ray Brown, Born at 10:50 am.

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She became a model, this obviously wasn't the best option for her with her body image problems.

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Amanda beard had finally found the right person, his name is Sacha Brown. They got married in May first of 2009.

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She started thinking about going pro but that means she wont have her full ride anymore she also wont be able to compete in anything to do with the NCAA. "By the spring of 2001, I was ready to give up college swimming. I had started thinking about going professional right after Sydney but kept going back and forth on the pros and cons of that decision. If I went pro-which meant I would get paid for my sport through sponsorship's, prize money, public appearance-I gave up my full ride through college, where you can't take any kind of compensation while competing in NCAA." (135)

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One day Amanda and Ryk were in s fight like normal, but she had accidentally cut herself, she didn't realize it at first. When she eventually realized it it didn't scare her it calmed her, from there on that was he outlet. Cutting made her feel better, as long as no one knew. "After that first time, cutting became my cure. Whenever Ryk and I got into an argument, it was such an easy go-to that it became automatic." (131) The cutting brought her to peace and it was so easy for her to do because it wasn't like Ryk was paying attention to her. He wouldn't even touch her, or care to notice.

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Ryl was her boyfriend they started dating when she was a freshman at UA and he was a senior. They broke up a couple of times but always found there way back to each other. They were terrible for each other. He was not a good guy, he was always rude and a jerk to her, she was like his maid. One night she saw him cheating, she had thought that something was going on, but this was the first time that she had actually seen it for herself. He said he was going out with some 'guy friends' and she asked him if she could go and he didn't let her, so she got suspicious and followed him. "I decided to track him down at the bar he told me he was meeting 'the guys' at. I walked into the place, which wasn't Ryk's usual kind of dive bar but more upscale restaurant with a little lounge, and mt heart fell into my stomach. From the front,I could see into the lounge, where Ryk and two other guys were sitting with three women I didn't know. This wasn't a guy thing at all. He was out with girls,and really pretty, skinny ones that were way girlier than I could ever manage. Ryk was sipping wine (wine?) while a blonde laughed at something he'd just said." (129)

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Beard started doing drugs with her then boyfriend, the only time he would acknowledge her was when they were high. She started with ecstasy and moved her way up to more serious ones. "I liked it. Cocaine was an insecure control freak's dream drug. Ecstasy lasted way too long, but coke was a short buzz during which I felt hyper-able. It focused me and took away my shyness so I could chat with strangers. Cocaine seemed to give me whatever I needed in the particular moment. Wiping away my insecurities. I was good, smart, and pretty, and Ryk seemed generous, sensitive, and happy." (122)  The she ended up trying acid, she hatted the way it made her feel and the things it would make her see.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/olympic-swimmer-amanda-beard-recounts-drug-abuse-bulimia-in-book/

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(AP) Amanda Beard is happily married and a proud mom, finally at peace after years of struggling at various times with depression, bulimia, drug abuse and toxic relationships with famous men while feeling unworthy of the swimming success that made her an Olympic medalist at 14.

Beard kept her physical and emotional turmoil hidden behind a huge smile, revealing little to her family, friends and coaches while she distracted herself from the pain with swimming.

But even that wasn't much of a refuge after she burst on the international scene by winning two silver medals in the breaststroke events and gold in the relay at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. Beard hit puberty soon after, going through a growth spurt that added 6 inches and 30 pounds to her slender frame. Normal for most girls, it was disastrous for a swimmer.

Her body's changes made her slower in the water and she lost races, generating whispers on the pool deck and the horrible feeling that she was letting people down.

Beard recounts her ups and downs in the 245-page memoir "In the Water They Can't See You Cry" released this week.

The 30-year-old swimmer traces the cause of her struggles to her parent's divorce when she 12. Her mother moved out and Amanda lived with her father in their Irvine, Calif., home. Her two older sisters were already out of the house. Although her family was loving, Beard said they never discussed their feelings out loud.

"It was definitely a snowball effect," she said Thursday from New York where she was promoting the book. "It started with my parents' divorce, the pressure I put on myself after the `96 Olympics, not dealing with puberty. All of those things I just constantly pushed down and tried not to deal with. Those things just kind of built off each other."

Beard started drinking in high school, when she hated her looks and felt unlovable. Adding to her burden was a case of mild dyslexia that made her cry daily and led to grades of Cs and Ds.

Swimming was the only area in which Beard rarely wavered. Although she briefly quit five months after the Atlanta Games, she soon returned and earned an athletic scholarship to Arizona. That's where her bulimia began, a problem five-time Olympian Dara Torres also dealt with as a college swimmer at Florida.

Beard writes how in college she once vomited seven times in one day despite being scared by the physical toll it took on her body.

"But the fear wasn't as powerful as the benefits of purging," she writes.

As a freshman, she caught the eye of South African swimming star Ryk Neethling, a senior on the Wildcats' team. They began a volatile relationship that lasted through the 2004 Athens Olympics. Beard writes how the couple had "loud screaming mean fights" and she started cutting herself to escape the pain.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself," she writes. "I was trying to figure out how to live in a bad relationship."

Beard's star eventually eclipsed Neethling's, something she said he couldn't accept even though she was supporting him financially after turning pro. She describes a two-month visit to his family in South Africa that included use of Ecstasy, cocaine and acid.

Beard never succeeded in getting the attention and approval she so desperately sought from Neethling, who eventually moved back home.

Not long after their relationship ended, Beard began dating NASCAR driver Carl Edwards, who comes off as controlling and jealous in the book. She writes that while their sex life sizzled, Edwards tried to control her, ordering her not to talk to other drivers at his races. She writes that their yearlong relationship was mostly one-way, with Beard following him from track to track and Edwards paying little attention to anything in her life.

"I don't know if I'll hear from them," Beard said about her famous exes. "This is all from my point of view and the things that I was going through. A lot of people do have relationship issues and they can't find their voice. I couldn't not talk about the things that I felt with other people. Those are big chunks of my life."

Adrift after Athens, Beard found herself inspired to continue swimming not by Edwards, but by his rivals Dale Jarrett and Mark Martin, who both won races in their late 40s. She made her fourth Olympic team in 2008, although she finished 18th in Beijing.

Still plagued by her history of negative feelings about her body, Beard nonetheless parlayed her California surfer girl looks into sexy magazine shoots, including a Playboy spread in 2007. Along the way, she met and fell for photographer Sacha Brown.

The couple moved in together, where Brown got a startling glimpse of Beard's volatility. She was still cutting herself and the unhappiness that Beard had pushed deep inside frequently surfaced in fits of smashing dishes and expensive sunglasses around their house.

It wasn't until Brown confronted Beard and encouraged her to seek therapy that she began addressing the issues that had made her miserable for years.

"We joke that he's my knight in shining armor," she said. "He's the person that saw me for everything I was and was still standing by me and in love with me."

They later married and had son Blaise, now 2. Brown is at home in Tucson, Ariz., with their son during Beard's two-week book tour.

Sharing her story has made Beard realize she was never truly alone in her problems.

"I'm so surprised that a lot of people have dealt with the same things that I have," she said. "It just blows me away, whether it's a father who tells me about his daughter or a mom talking. It's very cool to have that kind of connection with other people."

Beard hopes the book inspires others to seek help.

"We can't be ashamed of who we are or embarrassed of the things that we're going through," she said. "It makes me almost emotional in a way to hear people's stories especially if they're still struggling with overcoming things. It breaks my heart because it's not a fun place to be and you feel so lonely."

She's no longer taking antidepressants and has learned to discuss her feelings and assert herself with a degree of confidence she had always lacked.

"This book has helped open up a line of communication," she said. "Now I'm in a place where I can reach out so much more and communicate with my family."

Beard is currently training in preparation for this summer's Olympic trials, in which she hopes to make the U.S. team for London, which would be her fifth games.

"When trials show up, you never know what will happen," she said. "After this summer, we want to try to have another baby. I'd love to get back into shape again and swim through 2016."

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Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard recounts drug abuse, bulimia in book

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(AP) Amanda Beard is happily married and a proud mom, finally at peace after years of struggling at various times with depression, bulimia, drug abuse and toxic relationships with famous men while feeling unworthy of the swimming success that made her an Olympic medalist at 14.

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2000 Olympic trials in Indianapolis 200-meter breaststroke 

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2000 Olympic trials in Indianapolis 200-meter breaststroke 

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"When I came to the surface, I wrapped my arms around the lane line and looked up at the scoreboard: Kowal 1, Beard 2. I'd done it! I'd made the Olympic squad for 2000. I threw my head back in disbelief and joy." (110)

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2000 Olympic trials in Indianapolis 100-meter breaststroke 

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2000 Olympic trials in Indianapolis 100-meter breaststroke 

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"Megan hadn't been wrong. She won the 100-meter easily and went on the record as saying a world record might be hers in the 200-meter. I, on the other hand, finished eighth. When I looked up at the scoreboard and saw that I had come in last, I put my goggles back on to try to hide my tears." (108)

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She hatted the dorms so her father decided to get a house for her. "My dad proposed buying a house in Tucson after moths of listening to me *Explicit* and moan about how much I hated living in the dorms and how miserable the lack of privacy and space made me. He wanted to invest in real estate, and Tucson, where the property values were low, was a great place to start. He needed someone to live in the house, so why not me? Dad to the rescue again." (105)

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Top of the top swimmers in college swim. "Right before the 200-meter breaststroke, I was so anxious that I was buzzed from my own nerves." "I came from behind in the final stretch to claim my first Pac-10 title with a time of 2:10.41, missing the Pac-10 record by less than nine-tenths of a second." (104)

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When she started to have problems with her body image and food, one night after going out to eat she felt very guilty and she decided to make herself through all of the food back up. "In my room, I got an overwhelming sensation of needing to get rid of whatever was in my stomach. I cant have this food in me. I need to get it out. As logical as it was to eat when hungry, it also seemed logical to throw up when full. I walked to the dorm's communal bathroom, and after checking that it was completely empty, I put a finger down my throat and threw up my dinner. And it worked. I felt lighter and had a sense of satisfaction." (91)

https://dietsinreview.com/diet_column/04/olympic-medalist-amanda-beard-shares-her-struggles-with-bulimia/

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Unknown to many, Amanda Beard silently struggled with bulimia and depression for years. The multiple Olympics medal winning swimmer and successful model agonized for years over her physical appearance. Even though everyone else saw a thin beautiful and successful woman, Beard thought of herself as fat, ugly and a failure.
In her college years she had begun cutting herself to deal with the extreme agony she was going through. Along with the cutting, she becamebulimic as a way to cope with all the pressure and her low self-esteem. Through the years, no one suspected a thing because on the outside she appeared to be so successful.
She told Today's Ann Curry, "I felt like an idiot saying I was struggling so much inside because I was an Olympic athlete. I was having a great career. I had my own house. There were all these great things going on in my life, but on the inside, I was hating everything about me."
Beard began to feel the pressure at a young age. She won her first medal when she was only 14 years old. She said that it was a lot for a teen to take in, that she felt the constant need to look beautiful, thin and perfect. The pressure was magnified when during her second Olympics in Syndney in 2000, the media began saying she had put on weight.
Beard said that she kept her personal life and swimming separate and this helped her to still be a good swimmer. She believes this is also why no one ever noticed what was going on with her internally.
When she finally began to confide with her boyfriend (now husband) she started to feel it was possible for things to turn for the better. With years of therapy and the support of her husband theOlympic swimmer was able to go back to a healthy place. Beard has decided to share her struggles in a memoir, "In the Water They Can't See You Cry."
The title of the book reflects the only place she could find refuge for her pain, the pool. As soon as she would get in the water, she would let herself cry. She said that is was her way of meditating.
She hopes her book will help other women and girls feel better about themselves no matter how pressured they feel tolook thinner and more beautiful. She wants them to understand that it is OK to speak out about things and by doing this will help prevent the inner struggles that she suffered.
Read Also: Swim for an Effective Total Body Workout Eating Disorders Affecting Olympic Athletes What is Binge Eating Disorder?

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Olympic Medalist Amanda Beard Shares Her Struggles with Bulimia

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Unknown to many, Amanda Beard silently struggled with bulimia and depression for years. The multiple Olympics medal winning swimmer and successful model agonized for years over her physical appearance. Even though everyone else saw a thin beautiful and successful woman, Beard thought of herself as fat, ugly and a failure.

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Even being a crazy athlete Beard saw herself differently and it disgusted her. She had never had a problem with food until she saw all the college girl with "perfect" bodies. "As soon as I arrived at UA, problems with eating started to arise." (89)

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Beard had the opportunity to go to different colleges but she felt the best at the University of Arizona. "The one-night camping trip was an opportunity for members of the Wildcats to get to know new recruits, like me, in a relaxed, informal setting off campus and far away from the pool." (79)

https://arizonaalumni.com/amanda-beard

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Amanda Beard attended the University of Arizona, where she competed for the Arizona Wildcats swimming and diving team, where she won an individual NCAA Division I championship in 2001. She is an American swimmer and a seven-time Olympic medalist (two gold, four silver, one bronze), in addition to becoming a former world record holder in the 200-meter breaststroke (long course). Beard's success has earned her the American Swimmer of the Year Award twice. She has won a total of 21 medals in major international competition, five gold, 13 silver, and three bronze spanning the Olympics, the World Championships, the Pan Pacific Championships, and the Summer Universiade.

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Amanda Beard attended the University of Arizona, where she competed for the Arizona Wildcats swimming and diving team, where she won an individual NCAA Division I championship in 2001. She is an American swimmer and a seven-time Olympic medalist (two gold, four silver, one bronze), in addition to becoming a former world record holder in the 200-meter breaststroke (long course).

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The first time Amanda made the Olympic team was at 14 years old.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O08CgbwnVk

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14-year-old Amanda Beard qualifies for Team USA at 1996 trials | NBC Sports

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Beard biggest Idol was Summer, she had always looked up to her. She eventually got to race her and even beat her.

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2004-aug-18-sp-olyswimside18-story.html

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Amanda Beard can pull off this renovation work with dizzying speed and precision at the Olympics.

It took her 2 minutes 11.70 seconds to transform a just-for-fun swimming race into a silver medal and an American record here Tuesday night. Throwing a scare into specialist Yana Klochkova of Ukraine, who won in 2:11.14, Beard placed second in the women's 200-meter individual medley. To even be in the same neighborhood as Klochkova is an accomplishment. The 22-year-old completed her sweep of the two individual medley events at the Olympics, repeating her feat of 2000.

In 2000, Beard was swimming only the breaststroke. She started training hard in the 200 IM in the last year, and this was her first international competition. One final and she erased the long-standing American record, of 2:11.91, set by Summer Sanders in 1992.

"I was completely speechless," said Beard, who grew up in Irvine but now lives in Tucson. "That's an old record and a tough one, so I'm pretty stoked about it. Summer has been my idol. It's a great honor to be in her company. I was very excited about the time, but I feel there are better things coming."

Beard made her big move on the breaststroke leg, of course. She was able to scramble back from fifth at the first 100 to second place with 50 meters remaining. Fifteen-year-old Katie Hoff of Baltimore, who beat Beard at the trials in this event, faded in the latter stages, falling from second at the 100 to seventh place, going 2:13.97.

"My race is to try to stay as close as possible to my competitors in the first 100," Beard said. "I can't let them get too far ahead of me because I'm not superwoman on the breaststroke. My whole race is the 50 breaststroke, to try to catch up and get ahead so I can try to hold them off in the freestyle. I did a pretty good job of that, besides Yana."

Beard, 22, was visibly excited, having tucked away another medal. The silver was her fifth medal in three Olympics. She won two silvers and a gold as a 14-year-old in 1996, and a bronze in 2000. There could be more with the 200 breaststroke, in which she holds the world record, and the 400 medley relay still to come. "They all mean quite a lot to me," she said. "In '96, it was very easy, very natural, and 2000 was a complete struggle. This time, it's never easy. The older I get, the more special it becomes to me."

Then there was this for opponents to consider: "I'm only going to be 26 in Beijing," Beard said, laughing.

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Amanda Beard can pull off this renovation work with dizzying speed and precision at the Olympics. It took her 2 minutes 11.70 seconds to transform a just-for-fun swimming race into a silver medal and an American record here Tuesday night.

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She started swimming on the nova swim team after only swimming for her summer league. You could already tell how much potential she had.

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When Amanda Beard was 12 years old her parents got divorced she had a whole life in Irvine, at this point she was only swimming for summer league not club yet. She had sisters but they were both older so they moved away with their mom and she stayed with her dad. Her dad was always her best fiend, she got distant with her mom but she was still her mother.