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1. My 4 year old son is beginning to gain weight quickly and is very low on energy. He is so absorbed in my phone I can't get him to run around. What do I do?

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1. My 4 year old son is beginning to gain weight quickly and is very low on energy. He is so absorbed in my phone I can't get him to run around. What do I do?

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It is possible your son could be at risk of developing obesity at a pre-school age. Childhood obesity can lead to a number of harmful outcomes. There are countless health outcomes like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, trouble breathing, and increased risk of diabetes. There are also many psychological outcomes like low self esteem, more susceptible to anxiety and depression, and more risk for bullying (Overweight). This information is not to scare you, but to encourage you to find the appropriate solutions to help your son. In order to give the most help I can give, I will need more information to give advice catered to you and your individual situation. What is your financial situation? Who is your son's primary caregiver?

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2. I got pregnant when I was 19 years old with a guy I met in college who hasn't been in the picture since I found out I was pregnant. To say my family aren't supportive would be an understatement. I had to drop out of college to work full time in order to support my son. When I am at work he is in school and is picked up by me, but he goes straight back to work with me and I keep him busy by handing him my phone, big mistake. As you can imagine I don't make much money and can barely pay for the things I have, so I would not be able to afford any programs or organic foods. Our typical meals consist of vending machine snacks and fast food stops on the way home from work. I know it is not great, but it is all I can do. 

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2. I got pregnant when I was 19 years old with a guy I met in college who hasn't been in the picture since I found out I was pregnant. To say my family aren't supportive would be an understatement. I had to drop out of college to work full time in order to support my son. When I am at work he is in school and is picked up by me, but he goes straight back to work with me and I keep him busy by handing him my phone, big mistake. As you can imagine I don't make much money and can barely pay for the things I have, so I would not be able to afford any programs or organic foods. Our typical meals consist of vending machine snacks and fast food stops on the way home from work. I know it is not great, but it is all I can do. 

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It sounds like you have faced a lot of challenges since you found out about your son, but you have pushed through and done the best you can for him and that is extremely commendable! Studies show mothers with lower annual incomes are likely to have children going through childhood obesity (Bouthoorn), so don't feel like your situation is rare, it is completely normal and you aren't doing anything wrong! Before I give my thoughts, is your son having any other difficulties developmentally? Is he speaking? Is he walking and running properly? Is he socializing?

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3. My son is talking normally, but he seems to have a problem with people that have different opinions than he does. I'm trying to teach him respect, but it's hard when he thinks no one matters but him. He has plenty of friends at school as far as I know, but can get angry when people do things he doesn't like. I know this isn't a major problem, but it concerns me he could develop severe anger issues. 

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3. My son is talking normally, but he seems to have a problem with people that have different opinions than he does. I'm trying to teach him respect, but it's hard when he thinks no one matters but him. He has plenty of friends at school as far as I know, but can get angry when people do things he doesn't like. I know this isn't a major problem, but it concerns me he could develop severe anger issues. 

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That is completely normal! I don't know if your familiar with it, but there is something called Piaget's Theory of Cognitive Development. He calls the ages between 2 and 7 the pre-operational stage where children are learning to use language effectively. One of the things he says happens in this stage is an egocentric attitude and complications accepting the viewpoints of others (Piaget). Don't worry, your son is totally fine and developing appropriately!

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As for your son and his physical health, there are several steps you can take to ensure you intervene early. Expect to make some big changes in not only your son's life, but yours as well. You are the adult your son spends the most time with and looks up to the most, so if you make the changes, he will likely have an easier time making them as well. When children are exposed to the outdoors, they are more likely to be more comfortable and want to go outside (Andrews). With going outside, children can gain a love for exploration and play, making them exercise without realizing it. According to websites that are made to help parents in your situation, providing nutrient rich food and limiting sugars and fats will help a child's diet drastically (Healthy Weight). Not all healthy foods need to be organic. Just making frozen vegetables and a pot of pasta at home is much healthier for you and your son than a fast food meal. You obviously do not have the time or money to be making gourmet meals every night, but making healthy meals in bulk and reheating leftovers will help immensely. You can get countless frozen and canned fruits and vegetables, pastas, frozen meats, and many more things on a budget.

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It is important to encourage physical activity in your son. These are things he can do at school or you can do with him when you find the time.
1. Soccer is a game for young children because it gives them the freedom to kick around, which is something that is not typical in a child's day. Soccer also sneaks in a lot of cardio because they have to run so much.
2. Since you work a lot, it is crucial you find the time to spend with your son in a less stressful environment. Consider taking walks with him at the beginning or end of the day a few times a week to not only get your bonding time in, but to also get both of you some exercise.
3. If you do not have the time or patience for a walk, consider blasting some music and dancing! Dancing with your son is a great way for you both to get exercise without realizing it and for you both to have a blast!
4. You mentioned your son goes on your phone while you are finishing up at work, consider getting him a coloring book and crayons so he can develop his fine motor skills while keeping himself occupied. You could even potentially give him a bunch of safe supplies you have for him to organize so he not only can recognize patterns, but make him feel like he is doing an important job and helping you.

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There is no need to feel alone in your situation, plenty of parents go through extremely similar situations to yours.
Sonoma County's Community Childcare Council is a resource here in Sonoma County that strives to improve the quality and accessibility of childcare in the county. They aid low income families in everything from school funding to providing a food program. It does not cost anything to get help, but it is optional to donate.
https://www.sonoma4cs.org
Petaluma Health Center is another place that provides free services to families who can't access it. Their main goal is to have health care more accessible. They can provide help for you and your son in areas like dental, physical health, behavioral health, and many more.
http://phealthcenter.org
It is extremely important that you as a mom are taken care of as well as your son. As previously stated, it important you are healthy in all ways as well so you can raise your son to the best of your ability. Social Advocates for Youth's mission is to create a caring community where children and families can thrive. Most notably, they provide counseling services to those who need it.
https://www.saysc.org

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Through this project I saw just how much every aspect of a child's life can effect their health. Even though the mother and son I wrote about were fictional, there are a countless amount of people and families that go through the same struggles and it is so unfortunate that these families do not know about the countless resources that are out there that can help them. This also made me think about what a sensitive topic this is. I purposely made the mother in my project accepting and willing to change, when there are so many mothers that would not react that way if they were told the same information. I will use these newfound epiphanies to remember so many things in a child's life can be altered by the resources they have. I will also remember to be sensitive to different situations and expect the unexpected when it comes to reactions and questions from families so I can give the most accurate responses I can give.

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Resources
-Andrews, F. J., Rich, S., Stockdale, R., & Shelley, J. (2014). Parents׳ experiences of raising pre-school aged children in an outer-Melbourne growth corridor. Health & Place, 27, 220-228. doi:10.1016/j.healthplace.2014.02.013
-Bouthoorn, S. H., Wijtzes, A. I., Jaddoe, V. W., Hofman, A., Raat, H., & Lenthe, F. J. (2014). Development of socioeconomic inequalities in obesity among Dutch pre-school and school-aged children. Obesity, 22(10), 2230-2237. doi:10.1002/oby.20843
-Healthy Weight. (2018, May 23). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/children/index.html
-Overweight & Obesity. (2016, December 15). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/childhood/causes.html