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I Felt the need to talk again.
I need to know my decisions and why am I making them.

so, here I am!

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MONDAY
15/06
today I met with Carlos to check every link and it was very quickly.
today hasn't been easy, but I still have to make some refinements. I will use this to distract myself.
I had this freelancer as well. so my day will be busy.
I am writing this in the middle of the afternoon and probably I will do a lot today, but I want to finish reflection today. and maybe this is my last entry in here.
it was a good and long process. I discovery a lot about myself and the importance of reflecting about whatever I was doing. the moments I stoped to write were as therapy and I am really thankful to EBAC to make this part of my routine.
bye, see you soon.

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on my videos I could pass everything I wanted.
the experience: I  passed what I wanted and showed a little bit of my parents living it. I found this idea of Carlos very nice, because I could give to the viewer a near feeling to what my parents lived.
what I wanted with the experience: I really liked my text and how I described above the video, it makes the feeling I expected and I think it is the strongest part (as Cezar said) I agree that it works alone, but it is also part of a serie.
why does it work: I think I explained in a simple and fun way, it is very technical and scientific part and I think I succeed in talking in an informal and simpler way. I understand that for those who don't want to know about the brain and how music affects it, it could be boring, but this video is for those who wants to know more. and I think this separation was perfect.
I am being clearly to my audience and they choose where and what they want to watch. instead of putting everything on person's face.
and if she/he wants to pass through the whole process I will be very happy to pass all these information. anything is missing. it is a open project to whoever wants to.

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I did a page on my website to motivate me to produce more and create my personal paintings or studies. but it didn't actually work. I did anatomy classes all saturdays, but I didn't explore more materials, I didn't painted more, I didn't get this internal voice. and it's okay.
I could revive my instagram with my recents works, my artist side is on internet, and I feel good about it, because I always had shame of posting my art for other people see. I wasn't confident about having an artist side as something to share and be recognition about. I took off my layers of judgment and open myself to exposure.
these mouths I focus a lot in my ebac project that I just don't had any more free time. but it was good, I dedicate all myself for it. and I am happy with the result.

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12/06
today Henry and Carlos talked to me bout another visual solution for my outcome on my exhibition space, and I love it!!
I couldn't think in anything better and I had decided to be that boring way, but now is so much about me and it pass curiosity and fun. it is better than I could've imagine!
thank you for that! (I know you are reading this, Carlos)

today I organized all my room and changed the wheels of my chest of drawers. a clean looking makes me feel better in my own place, and it was something I was postponing for a while.
I am happy to breath again in an organized space.
I updated some reflections today as well.
I also had an opportunity of taking care of a instagram brand to make it more famous and well designed. it is a 2 mouths job, but it i very nice!
I am organizing everything and it starts on monday.

for my project I still need to put the outcomes in my website.

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11/06
today I talked to Roger, we spoke about  my whole process and my research padlet, that for him it was very consistent. we talked in how I manage to do everything on the time I proposed and I'm very proud of it.
I decided to do the making off after everything, I am still finding space and transferring things one place to another. we said goodbye and good vacations.
it is definitely ending. now I realized it.
Carlos said time flies, he is right.

I decided to change a little bit the way I write in here, because my days are being more about myself, and less about my project.
I am still making some refinements and adding some stuff to my website and my padlet, but I don't have actually plans or project tasks.
now I will just open my hearth in here and reflect about my whole work, instead of one day.

I just have to put the outcomes on my website.

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10/06
PROJECT
yesterday Carlos showed me my page on hot glue that he is building and it is what I asked for, the background color is better, but still seems it is missing something. I don't know why or what. but it is too much simple.
I am still thinking in ways to improve, but I don't know.
today I didn't do much about my project or EBAC, I just distracted myself with my room, that I was making over.

PLANS
- take pictures of the latests classes to upload on my website
- find a better visual solution

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09/06
PROJECT
today I had some problems.
I started to edit a making off and I turn in with no space on my cellphone.
as I filmed everything on it and I edit and export all versions in high quality, there were a lot of videos in there and I just don't have more space.
so I decided to upload everything to google drive and to delete previews versions, but I discovery it wasn't enough. I delete some less useful apps, but I couldn't save a new high quality video, as I wanted to making off.
I pass the day almost deleting everything, but I didn't wanted to delete the original videos because I could need to edit some of them for the sharing material, or even for the making off. I just don't know what to do.
this isn't a big deal, because it was something I wanted, but it is not essencial for the final project. I think I can be okay without it.

FEELINGS
I got frustrated with my problem, but I try to solve this to be able to do it. but I am almost sure it won't be for assessment, just as a personal stuff.

PLANS
I will just update my web pages and make sure my project is well explained.

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MONDAY
08/06
PROJECT
today I did the GIF for the little TV, it wasn't so hard, but I used an app that lows the quality of it.
today I also updated my website, I put some new pictures of the process and organize the buttons, to make sure everything was going to the right place. it wasn't. I spend some time in that and I discovery some pages I just didn't layout in the HOME page and since I hadn't a "menu" it wasn't possible to access!
I decided to create a "menu" on the top of all pages to make sure everything could be accessed. I also added my reflection padlet. the firsts on menu are "hiding" pages, so it is the only place to access them, and the others are on the home page or in a button "more". this way it isn't messy.
I also added a "go to top" and a BACK bottom on the baseboard, that follows the page, wherever you are on it. I found interesting to add these, because before you had to go scrolling up all page again to come back or find another place.
I think this was the best solution.
the BACK bottom just go to the HOME page because in the baseboard you just have the same in all pages, so I couldn't make specific to any one of them, but it is better then add another home icon, equal to the top.

I decided to not make a teaser, I would like to share it on instagram, but as mini series, not as final one video. I can catch people attention to what happen when they know what kind of sound help them. I will work on that. I want to use as a tool for people understand themselves and be interesting in the experience.

FEELINGS
I am still making. but it is almost there. I am happy.

PLANS
I still had to add some things to the website and update padlets.
I will do a making off of my recordings, just to add to the site, as a plus.
I will make a plan of sharing, in the best way I can.

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05/06
PROJECT
today I finished editing, it was a lot!! I spent all day doing it, so I got late with the project evaluation file, but I spoke to Carlos and it was all fine, I sent to him almost 6pm (we were supposed to send until 5pm). but it is all fine!

today I spoke to Cezar and he think my outcome should be just one video (that one about the experience and my voice) but I don't really agree with him. I think each one of the 3 videos had its function and approach, and I want to give this "freedom" to my public and also the opportunity to know more. I know it could be an open situation, but I really enjoyed explaining how and why it works. I mean that's why I choose this theme and that is the message I want to pass. so, for me, it is important to let people watch it as an outcome as well.

we had a meeting with visual identity and I didn't really see a "grow" since last meeting. I think they have a lot of work, but the main idea is ready, and I liked.

I also talked to Monique and she really liked how I manage to listen to them and choose my own approach. she asked me about the visual result, as in the final page. she suggested me to have more focus on the first video. I did a sketch on the project evaluation file, but I don't know if it is the best option. I am thinking about it.

FEELINGS
I am confident about my choices and I am almost ready. so it is a relieve to have things on track and to don't freak out on the last minute. this is all about my organization process and I am really glad I could follow it well during this time.

PLANS
- do a GIF for the little TV
- do the making off
- update website
- decide if I will do the teaser for spreading part

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"Play" you - entendendendo a influência do som no nosso cérebro

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04/06
PROJECT
today I focus totally in editing the new video.
I finished the video with my voice above the experience, and I am trying to reduce the explanation video without loosing context. this is a harder part because I have to deal with a whole text written before everything.
I didn't want the video explaining to be boring, but since I decide to do a video just with it, I have to be confident about my intonation and way to explain.
today I talked to Roger and he said to me go for it.
he found my solution a good way to listen the feedbacks and still do something  I want.
we talked about my process of understanding the feedback and think rationally.
he said to me to be proud of myself because everything I already did and my approach due the final answer.
he opened my eyes to how I grew in this process and how consistent were my planning and making.

FEELINGS
I am happy to be able to do it.
I still think my life would be easier with the equipment EBAC promised me, but I am dealing the best way I can!!
I think it will better distributed, because I was thinking too much individually before, instead of a group exhibition, and maybe doing this journey catches more attention and makes more sense.
a 18 minutes video was too much impersonal and a "se jogar de cabeça" way for someone that  knows nothing my project and ideas.
this way I can make the person get involved and make them want to know more about the subject, instead of throw away information, without context.

PLANS
- finish explanation video
- edit experience video
- do project evaluation file

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03/06
PROJECT
I have tought about everything teachers told me and I founded a way to listen their feedback without throw away the explanation part (because in my point of view it is one of the most important parts of the project) and without the need of start over, because I don't have time.

I will split my video in two parts: the living experience with my voice + me explaning tchenical stuff
and as outcome I will present 3 videos:
- just the experience, with the original sound, some parts of my parents living
- the projection with my voice saying what I expected + interviews with my parents
- myself in my room explaning why it works

I would use titlles as:
"feel the sound experience"
"know what I expected to make you feel and see if worked"
"understand why does it work"

that way I could use a shallow approach for those whom just want to live and want to know nothing about it, and for those whom wants to understand and go deeper in the subject

FEELINGS
yesterday I had a anxiety crises and it was hard to focus on solutions and think rationally. but Cezar calm me down and I could relax a little bit. I decided to don't think at all yesterday and when the project came to my mind, at the end of the day, I had an idea.
a way to solve the problems of my doc and to be able to finish until the deadline. I still have a lot to do, but I think it is possible.
I got mad and frustrated, but now I had the time to reflect what is the best option to my work. now I am determinate.

PLANS
EDIT!
and do the file that Carlos sent today.

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02/06
PROJECT

today I talked to Cezar, he said that seems 3 different videos, there are too many languages (me, drawing on the paper, my parents at experience). he said to me that he would cut all the explanation part.

staying just with the part that I am talking above the experience.

it wasn't my intention, but it is possible to do it in the time I have. (at least I have a north possible)

FEELINGS

"is not necessary to explain that much"

my outcome was a documentary.

I wanted to explain the power of the sound in people's mind, the experience was to use as example, to have images about it and explain better.

I said since the begging that I wanted a documentary with 20 minutes, I would follow an Abstract structure.

I said that the introduction would have 5 minutes, I shared with Carlos my concerned of being too boring, he said to me to illustrate some parts and mix with my face. I did it.

all the process was being accompanied for at least Carlos, Roger and Monique, why anyone of them told me to rethink my idea? why anyone warned me about being something boring, a documentary? why they watched my process in silence and on the last week they ask me to cut the explanation part? to stay just with the experience. "the powerful part of your work is the experience"

so, why? why plan? why do a storyboard? why show my process?

at the end it doesn't matter at all.

Carlos and Monique asked me to change the order and cut some parts of the explanation, for that makes sense I would need to re-write my text, re-fillm myself talking and re-edit in a shorter video. I don't have time for that. and for me, just take some parts off loose all the context and narrative. I understand that it could be more interesting showing more images and less talking. but it isn't a video for youtube to catch public, it is a documentary, explaining stuff, and if you're not interesting in that stuff don't watch it. I mean, it isn't a video in a physical exhibition, and for internet I don't see a problem in having 18 minutes.

Carlos and Monique also said they wanted to watch the experience without my voice at all. but Cezar said my narrative made all the difference and he  would like to see the parts of experience that I am talking about.

I don't know. I am just sad.

I will do what they expect to see, but it isn't my project.

it isn't the solution for the problem I created.

PLANS

I am planning to relax, and think better.

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MONDAY
01/06
PROJECT

today I talked to Carlos and Monique at the same time. they talked about changing the structure of the documentary.

they said I should show the video experience as a principal outcome. and edit the documentary to be a "plus" to the ones that want to understand. but even like that, it should be shorter. they would like to see the experience themselves.

and after I told them about my limitations, Carlos gave me a list of "little" edits

- change or take of the music while I'm talking. the singer's voice affects mine.

- edit less explanation > go to the video XP quickly

- put the name before "play"you - filmed by Bruna Costa

- at the end put some credits: for parents, interviewers, my friend of the projector

- in my website: focus on the experience, no one will search for it

FEELINGS
I feel I am giving 120% of myself in this project and it still isn't enough.
"congratulations, your project is becoming beautiful, BUT what about do it again in an another order, and with less explanation, and more images about the XP?"
I feel they don't really understand my limitations. I know being online is not anyones fault, but I am feeling impaired, I can't show a video while I am editing, because it need to be export and posted somewhere online, and they just can see the final piece where I should get just some feedback of adjustments, instead of changing the structure of it.

I mean, I did a storyboard, a planning before. they want me to go in the freestyle and change everything in 3 days.

and I just don't have the softwares needed, so I need to start over after the shortest feedback of change.

it is not fair that I got impaired because I don't have a computer, I paying for this equipments, I should have access to the computer lab and I know EBAC and everyone is doing their best to maintain the quality of the course, but I don't think teachers are understanding my limitations. they asked me to do my work of 3 mouths in 3 days, basically.

"it's just editing some pieces." it's not. it is selecting the original videos and start over.

I was doing in pieces and "editable" part is just the connections of everything else.

I know I am being productive during quarantine, I know you can ask more of me. but you need to know when stop pushing. I was so happy and confidente and now I am confused and sad. did you realize that?

PLANS

I have no fucking idea of what to do.

I really don't have time to do the way they want.

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29/05
PROJECT
today I did a thumbnail to my video, write the description with all the links and I published.
it was just final touchings, I really liked the result, because it doesn't seems boring, even in the more technical speech.
I think I achieved what I expected with the video. it is a documentary!
I rather have 20 minutes, but 18 is fine.
I am excited to show to everyone. I just sent to Calos, Cezar, Monique and Roger.
I also started editing the teaser and I decided to be just parts of the experience, to call for attention though the eyes, with another powerful song, but nothing real.

FEELINGS
I am happy that I could follow well my plans and be ready with time to produce my teaser and a plan for sharing this work. I am really proud.

PLANS
finalize the teaser and ask for feedback about the doc.

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28/05
PROJECT
today I woke up midday thinking we wouldn't have more classes, just tutorials, but Cezar choose to start a meeting during the morning just to say that.
I filmed parts of what I think I'll need to make a teaser, just an introduction, holding my cellphone, as a stories
today I talked to Roger and he helped me to focus and write my personal statement again, I was unmotivated since I already had written a good one.

but, after talking to him, I wrote it at once. I think it relates to what I want to talk in it, but it seems smaller than the necessary.
I sent to carlos and roger to take a look before deadline.

PLANS
I will edit this video and add some scenes of the documentary to make something intriguing, but I'll just post it on the week of the exhibition, so I am earlier.
I will edit some making off to put on the site.
tomorrow I will make the description of the video, to finally post it on youtube, to test it before time comes.

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26/05

PROJECT
today I pass the whole day finalizing editing the video.
but finally is ready!! I love the ending piece and how everything connects.
I also choose some musics to be so silence while I am talking, and it fits perfectly.

FEELING
I'm pretty confident with my outcome, I don't know if people will be interesting to watch it, but I am sure it is well finished with the tools I had. and I think I succeed in doing something personal, talking directly to the person, but also, not repetitive, so I think it is well planed, to be cool to watch it, even if you don't like much the subjective.

PLANS
I will make a description with all the links that I've used on the video, to avoid some copyright issues. before post it on youtube.
I'm planning to do a vimeo account as well, to spread to even more platforms.

since I already finished my outcome, I am planning on it's disclosure, I will make a teaser and a making off to make my website even more full.

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"PLAY" you - a influência do som no nosso cérebro

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MONDAY
25/05
PROJECT
today I started to edit my speech and I realized that it were missing some parts of the text to film, so I dress up and filmed these ones.
it was a long day, but I think now I have all I need to the final video.
now it is hands on!!!

PLANS
EDIT EDIT EDIT !!

FEELINGS
excited to see everything together.

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22/05
PROJECT
today I filmed all day long.
and then started to edit to make it on time.
the hardest part was to film at once, I was always changing the way I talked, and I wanted to be exactly how I wrote.
but everything went well, I have a lot of materials to the doc and now I have to put all together to see if is missing something. but I think is all okay.

PLANS
I will edit!!!

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21/05

PROJECT

today I supposed to film myself, but it was holiday and I woke up latter, so I just edit some parts of the video today.

it was a lazy day. the edition takes time, but I spent too much in it.

but I could do 2 parts of the final video.

PLANS

I NEED to film myself tomorrow, to have time to edit everything until tuesday and still have time to do some teaser to spread this project online.

I want also to feed my art instagram before post about this project, because I want people to know more about my projects and art life when they enter in this link. (I putted in my project proposal to add this information to my name). I need to really start this online portfolio. so I need to select some art works to post it until tuesday.

FEELINGS

I am a little bit insecure about posting my art on the internet, I don't know why, but I think is the fear of judgment. but I decided to have a page to show myself, and I will. but, who am I?

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20/05

PROJECT
today I filmed the drawings. the hardest part was to build something to hang my cellphone above the table. at first it was too much close to the paper, but my dad found an old selfie stick, that is built to hang cellphones. I just had to find a way to fix it standing. and after a long time I could envolve it with tape inside a box that was already fixed in the window.

it works!

another difficult was to write in a straight paper, I am used to write in diagonal, but in some tries I got the hang of it.

and after that was fast. I just did some sketches reading the text, to see what I would need before recording. I also decided to film as a normal speed and just put faster in the edit app, because I realized time lapse lows the quality of the video and I couldn't be able to edit more the speed, and maybe I would need some parts faster than others, to go along my voice.

PLANS

- organize a scenario to record myself

- film myself to the introduction and the finishing

- edit the video

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19/05

PROJECT
today I edit the video of parents, combining their expressions and their feedbacks.
I was going to film an interview with a proper space and scenario, but the video just after the experience they were so involved and real, I think if I re-film it won't pass this emotion, and even if the scenario is not the best, it isn't the worst, because the light and sound are good, and they are really happy. I think this is what I want to show to the public, so I kept  this video and edit today, the emotion is perfect.
I also recorded my voice reading the text, to be with these images and all parts I won't show my face.
I also finished my project proposal.

PLANS
tomorrow I will film the drawings, as a time-lapse in a camera above me, I just have to figure out how am I going to fix my cellphone to do it.
I will use 2 lamps near the window in the morning, so I think the light won't be a problem. I am just concerned about the angule of the camera. it needs to be from above.

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MONDAY
18/05

PROJECT
by the weekend I review the video of the experience and decided what I still need to film.
I wanted some specific moments about them interacting with the experience, just to illustrate visually what they said about their feelings.
and I filmed.

today I organized my storyboard and how would I edit the video (separated in smaller parts that needed better connections) to have small videos to combine at the end of it. I think that way it is better, because I can't edit more than one video at the same time, so if I can make these parts, it will facilitate my life in the future.
I review my text and connect all my intentions, I have an idea of drawing and writing to illustrate what I was talking in some parts of the introduction and when I explain technical stuff,  just to be more dynamic and to people don't get tired with my face.

PLANS
tomorrow I will record my voice reading the text of the part I would show my face and start to edit the part of my parents, that I already got.

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15/05
PROJECT
today in the afternoon we had the crits that have left. mine, as well.
I think I needed this critic before the Experience, because now they already lived. even if I change something, there wouldn't have more surprises and the trip into this experience isn't more a first impression.
I don't know if I will work more on it.

I feel on crit they don't know exactly why I decided each video and each part of the sound, but I think my point with this experience was to use my parents as a way to show the power of the sound, and if they already lived the experience and they felt how I intended to make them feel, the experience was a success!! I don't see a point in changing it after they lived, and already felt it.
because the main ideia of it was use as an example about how everything works. and it worked!
I just have to continue the documentary and show the best parts, and the explanation of all of it.
this video experience was just a process in between.

I understand that if this video was going to be projected at EBAC, as a installation, it would have some adjustments, but since I did specific to my parents, all my changes and choices were based on them.

crits that I got and I have a why things were like that:
1. about the snow globe: if it was just the globe, it could be better, of course, but I don't know how to cut a circle in a video, on the app I am using, it is just straight formats, and honestly I don't think it would change the feeling of it for my parents.
2. to not use the whole music: I explained before here on reflection, but I decided to use it as a way do disconnect, to stop paying attention and to really "se deixar levar", the music is so good and cutting it could cut the vibe. since it is a presence immersive experience, it doesn't need to be watched until the end, it is something to feel and be there, it is not as in a cellphone video, that you stop everything to watch it.
3. the texture in the colors: I really liked this cezar suggestion, Gustav Metzger is a good reference, but, again, as I was making them disconnect from the screen and it was a physical experience, a color changing on "screen" made all the room became that projected color, so the immersive part of not paying attention made a full environment of feeling. if there is texture, they would have something to look at, and it wasn't my intention.

FEELINGS
actually, after present the work for my parents, I thought as a closure for this part. I was expecting a suggestion about how to develop the documentary and not anymore about the video XP.
I got frustrated about some little changes, that they suggested me, and I think is all relevant, but now I feel I can't change anymore.
because now is all about building a documentary,
I confess I wanted to have this kind of feedback before showing my parents. now I am frustrated.
I won't have time to redo the video and remake the experience, because I have to give the speaker back.
and the app doesn't save the process, I would need to pick all the separated films again to adjust one simple thing.
all the sound and image transitions would be lost.
I don't know if I will have time to make the documentary as I wanted, if I adjust this video, but not adjusting the video may affect all the documentary.
I don't know.

okay, I thought about it and I explained my reasons up there in "project" part, but I think I got mad because of how deep and well planned was my work. I was so confident about the video that I didn't realize it could be room for improvement. come on, I spent 2 months in it. I really studied each part of it. I made every decision because of plenty of reasons. and now, in 8 minutes viewer, they comment about it. I know that's how it works, but I think they could considere the topics I said before, as 1.this is a process to be an example to my work, 2. it's made for my parents, specifically, 3. it is immersive, with a whole room to change and play with.
I think they just got the video as a video experience, but this video is not for them, it is to make them understand everything I want to explain in the documentary, and it will be shared as a process of my work. and not as a final piece. you couldn't watched this video without the documentary. it is not for that.

PLANS
I was planning in watch the video from my parents in the experience to see what kind of images I still need to film.
I will update padlet and my site.
I need to do a story board

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14/05
PROJECT
today I took a break, because I wasn't stopping, and since I did the XP yesterday, I can breath a little bit.
I talked to Roger and told him to see my text (in script part of my site) and told him how good it was the XP and my parents reaction.
I'm proud of me.

PLANS
I will start again tomorrow, doing the storyboard and preparing for film the documentary introduction

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13/05
PROJECT
today I filmed the Experience.
I prepared my room and asked my parents to come, before they got in I said to them that I wanted their most real feeling, I didn't want them to pretend something just because it was their daughter's project. and they could do whatever they want in there, even go out of it.
and them I pressed play and entered the room to film their faces, I stayed in a corner and they were watching without blinking, it was amazing their involvement.
at the moment the experience stopped I decided to ask them questions about it (I already knew what kind of comments I would need of them), so I asked about specific parts and feelings, just to catch the most real feeling about every moment I needed.
but it exceeded my expectations, they were completely involved and happy, the feedback was exactly my intentions with the video. and I got excited. IT WORKS!!

the point of recording just after the experience was to be more real and by hearth, because they didn't have the time to process and think about it, the feeling was just there and they needed to translate to me somehow, without the whole thing about being in something I built.

FEELINGS
I am just happy.
I expected the experience  to work, but I thought they would be more distracted or less involved, I think the way they got catch impressed me. I am just proud.
my mom speaking about it at the end was so calming, she never speaks that slow. I think it really calm she down.

PLANS
I will take a break tomorrow, because I am non stop since the begging of everything. and now that I finish one part I will force myself to take a breath. I deserve it.
after that I will start to organize my storyboard and start to record my text.

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12/05
PROJECT
today we had a very nice visitor, he talked about the importance of knowing the best way of doing each work, and do not close options because you like some technique.
in the afternoon, carlos explained a little bit about the project proposal and I just realized we have 2 weeks. time flies, really.

today I organized my website and add some of the missing pages.
I had a problem with the sound, because the cabe I had wasn't the one I needed.
I was crazy about it, until I find the right one.
I organized my room for the XP, I decided to keep my bed with some pillows and blankets to make it more comfortable and to make the "immersive" part real.
I also tested where position use the projector and how everything would work together, I'm pretty confidente about the environment, I tested mirrors, but it could reflect on their eyes, and it is not a good sensation. so, I decided to just use my big mirror on the corner, to make the feeling of no edge. I think it works.

FEELINGS
I got so uncomfortable with what ricardo said about being productive. he can't demande such thing. especially in quarantine.

I am confidente for tomorrow and I hope every time working compensate with what I expect from their reaction.

PLANS
I will film the experience!! big day tomorrow.

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MONDAY
11/05
PROJECT
today I finalized the XP video, I combined my ready films together and added one of snow globe as I was planning.

noisy -> relief -> calm -> piece -> happiness
starting with confusing images, sound too loud and confusing city moments, news, mixing media ideas, moving/changing images too fast, monochromatic style and than start to disappearing some of the videos, start a calm sound, a blue color, start to close up in one image, start to move slowly, start a rhythm, changing again the color, now for a orange/yellow one, a nice music, as jazz style, "dancing feeling" music, more dancing way, moving images in the rhythm with dancers maybe.

I used this starting point (from 28/04) to plan and edit the video, I started with the double exposure KM activity to make a noise and uncomfortable feeling. then I used the CALMA, ACALMA  A ALMA sound to put things together,
than the bubble video that mixed perfectly with the waterfall with the water sound,
and it became a wind that starts a rain from PETRICOR BAND, and a calm feeling with a real music (COLORS -black pumas), while is changing for the video of mercury surface (video from CNNbrasil) and than became a color mix background.
all this stages are to bring the feelings of my first sequence idea ₍noisy -> relief -> calm -> piece -> happiness) and in the end I decided to put one whole song, because
1. this song is exactly the feeling I want them to feel, it is a "enjoying" music, but not too dancing, and I know it will work with my parents, because they like this kind of music,
2. I expect them to stop paying attention to what is passing on the screen, and to them start to feel themselves at the moment, present, feeling good.
the idea of putting something repetitive  is to make them stop depending on the visual, the feeling should be about the sound (of course the entire room will be orange and blue and red, but it is just to create an environment, but not anymore as a *must watch*) and if they want to talk of something else, or look to their phones, it is okay. the music needs to be there, but it doesn't need to be the only thing. if they got distracted and forget about the problems, my goal has being achieved successfully.

I am very proud of myself, because I could combine the KM activities as I expected and now I have a full video that makes me feel as I expected to feel. if everybody gets the way I did, it will be a success.

today I talked to Carlos to show my progress with the script, and he really liked how it was going, he suggested me to watch COSMOS to study the structure.
I also showed him my introduction text and he liked the approach, just said to me practice the intonation. he said to me to do a storyboard to guide my script and to visualize better.

PLANS
I need to finish the script based on the final of the video and start the storyboard
I will test the sound of the speaker I borrowed
I will organize my room to be able to receive the experience.

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08/05

PROJECT
today we had a KM activity about a moving image.
I got so exited about using in the project that I dreamed a lot and there was no time to do what I was thinking, so I did my first idea, which was to make a video about the time passing, but in the opposite, using a hourglass and taking pictures of it. (because the theme was order and disorder) it was very fast and good.
I know this could have being a useful video, BUT it gave me an idea to use my snow globe as raining sound and monotonous, calm feeling!

so, after session I filmed and edit a video with the snow globe, being messy and calm over and over... I already used the RAIN music that I did with my band in sound and vision project. It fixed perfectly. and now I am close to the end of the video. I just have to find the right song to play at the end.

FEELINGS
I'm optimistic about the project, I already write the order of the videos and how to combine them, I just have to do it.

PLANS
I will decide which music I will use on the XP video, maybe I will need to mix more than one to make this feeling of happiness.
I need to edit the bubble video, to something that didn't pass the feeling of though up, maybe a bursting bubble sound and water based. (to mix with the waterfall)
I will put together all the videos I have and finish the XP.
I will pick up the speaker.

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07/05

PROJECT
today I edit a video with bubbles and seabed sounds. I also combine a sound of indian meditation, and in the moment of edition I almost feel asleep, BUT when I was watching it ready, I almost threw up, because it seems inside a human body, or some organic shape, and the mediation sound felt like probe.
I just know it was bizarre to feel 2 total different things with the same sound. this experience clicked me to something I wasn't considering, the image also influences and A LOT, and I don't want to make this about the image, I want to show the power of the sound.
considering that I decided to make a monotonous film in the end, to make people stop to care about what's going on the screen.
in the KM activity we had to do a collage, I thought about use the projector and the mirrors to make a collage in my wall, but I realized that I would need to do a digital image with the right missing spaces to make the feeling that I wanted, and it won't have enough time, so I pick up some photos to collage that I have and start in a traditional method.
I liked the result, but it was totally useless to the project.

today I talked to roger and he helped to organize my mind for next steps. because I will need to film the experience next week. but he encourage me to continue that everything was going to be fine.

FEELINGS
I am a little bit down this week and I want to be motivate again.
I realized the amount of work I have to do, and everything is organized, I just need to do it. DON'T FREAK OUT!!

PLANS
I need to finalize the XP video
write the script!

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05/05

PROJECT
the KM activity was to do a HOMAGE, again all the sound pieces that I wanted to reproduce were too much for one hour only. so I choose one image from my instagram that I liked.
I choose the idea of a floating balloon near to a dangerous thing to be the connection between the original project and my piece.
the hardest part was to take a picture of the balloon standing without being hold. I filmed in slow motion and I took a screenshot. I didn't like very much the shadow, but it was the best photo of standing balloon I got. I tried to cut the background and add some black to remove this feeling of earth and gravity, but on the app that I got, it became pixels to cut, and the balloon wasn't being round as it should be. so I preferred to be with the original background. I also made the nails bigger than the balloon. it gave a good effect.

I started to organize the site and to add some process videos in there.
I thought in an idea to help me to make an immersive experience with a small image: I will use mirrors (left from the zine fair) to reproduce the image from the projector around my bedroom. the mirrors are small, but I think it can make a good effect. I tested with my dress mirror and the effect of multiples images in the room is fantastic.
the projector is really strong and all the walls became the color that is being projected, and that's very good, it doesn't look like a TV anymore.
I tested a little speaker, but it is not working. I still have the sound problem.

I talked to Henry and he asked me about doing something to the public, to amplify my approach, maybe doing a playlist or something for who is at home, to follow up after watch the documentary. I think it is very nice, I already had this idea before, but since it was a specific experience to my parents I gave up, but other people can find peace in the same musics as well. I can make a "sound track" of the Documentary, because I want people to feel calm.

PLANS
I will continue to organize the website.
I need to reflect about the interviews that I did.
I will finalize the script!!!!
everything is o track, but I couldn't relax now.
continue combining videos.

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MONDAY
04/05

PROJECT
I picked up the projector on saturday and I tested. the image is smaller than I thought it would be. I expected to full field my wall, but I knew it could be smaller, but not that much. it seems like a TV on the wall. I realized that to amplify the image, I needed distance from the wall, but my space is not that big, even pointing it through the door.
the light is very good, very brightness, but the sound is primitive and too noise, the bass looks like a scratch. I am thinking in what to do, because the sound is the most important thing in this process.

the KM activity today was to use some object we had at home in a different context. I was trying to do something with sound, but everything went wrong, because I was using that pendulum with stones to make a smooth sound, but I  would need to pick some extra sound on the internet, to make the feeling of wind passing (as I wanted) and the prompt was to use what you already have. the time was ending, and I decided to post that picture from the gel balls, and named as MICROSCOPE,  it fitted, but I was disappointed, because I couldn't do anything related to sound.

FEELINGS
today I woke up a little discouraged. I passed the weekend playing cards with my parents, drinking wine, watching series, eating cheese with  pepper jelly, watching musical festivals on youtube, it was just perfect and I think I forgot I was in quarantine. and waking up this morning realizing nothing has changed from last month, it really mess my head. I am trying. but today I can't.

PLANS
I'm planning to find solutions to my new problems: small projector, bad sound.
I need to finalize my script and the video.
I still need to organize my website.
all the same plans, that I didn't do.

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30/04

PROJECT
today in class we had a KM activity about double exposure, that uses 2 or more different images to overlap and create another one. I choose to use photos that I already have because my surroundings are one language and I wanted to mix different feelings to play with this contradiction.
my first results were nothing as I expected, I felt like the images weren't dialoging with each other, and I continue to explore until I find a nice outcome. during this process I realized that this mixing was exactly what I was looking for the being of my video, so I started to do a video overlapping these images and I mixed different sound as well, and it became something noise, hard to understand, and confuses. perfect to the beginning.

today I also did a lot of testing.
I tested light as a neon sign that I have written "love" and I cover up my 2 lamps with red, blue and yellow tape, to do play with colors. I discovery that mixing colors with light work. I thought this was just truth with painting, but actually putting the red and blue together, the middle was purple. so I made some short videos mixing colors and turning on and off to interact them. It was very simple, but I liked the result, it can be part of the XP video with some sound.
I filmed some gel balls that I have, it is transparent, so I filmed in a glass jar pointing the cover lamps to it. it seems like under the water, or even inside a human body, the look is very biological and interesting. it also look like fish eggs. but the video was pretty nice.

I talked to Roger and it is all on the track, he just recommended me some research. but in general I am proud of this week, because I could organize myself to test and film a lot, and to plan the script, and my text. so I could divide my time and I hope the result comes in the same proportion.

PLANS
I still need to combine this little tests in one video.
tomorrow I will pick up the projector and test it on my room to see if will look as I expect.
keep organizing my daily plans, it is helping me a lot!!

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29/04

PROJECT
I'm studying the "ABSTRACT" format and just organized my main idea of script order in the documentary. this is just a simple order to follow and to understand what I want to show. I decided this way, because is open to add in the process, but yet there is a base to connect what I will talk to the image.
- começar com texto falado, mostrando imagens ilustradas ou eu falando com quem ta na camera

- corta pra imagens da experiencia enquanto fala das intenções com o projeto

- mostra parte do video da XP

- mostra relato de um dos dois (pais)

- mostra imagem de eu montando com narração de como montei

- mostra entrevista com papis enquanto falo q foi pensada pra eles essa XP

com trechos falando algo de memória e tal

- mostra mais um pouco da XP + emoções + reações

mostra relato deles

- fala do pq funciona, o que a musica é capaz + imagens ilustrativas ou exemplos práticos (tipo arthur)

- mostra mais de eu montando a XP (maquete) + fala de cada detalhe

mostra eles la dentro + relato

- mostra so a XP sem ngm + fala do pq so funciona se alguém vive aquilo

- volta pra mim + falando do quanto a individualidade nos faz unidos, mas como construimos um coletivo

and I also started to write a text that I will ready during the doc, as a back explanation to envolve people. it is still in the idea format, I just put out what I was thinking in express, and I just posted here to be easy to access and to see my evolution.

eu percebi q num filme, o que te faz emocionar com alguma cena é muito mais o seu envolvimento com os personagens e sua entrega com aquilo do que a própria música. mas a música te leva. ela te conduz por esse caminho.
e vc se deixe levar.
já q estou fazendo pra pessoas específicas, não quero q a experiencia seja genérica.
quero mostrar o poder na música em cada um de nós, de forma específica e única.
se a experiencia fosse genérica numa exhibition talveZ o resultado não fosse tão extraordinário, pois não exploraria o que cada um significa, englobaria todos vcs em uma só sensação q talvez fosse errada.

tornar a experiencia focada em alguém não significa que não funcione pra vc, significa q é mais intenso pra quem tem essas memórias afetivas, e é sobre isso tb o projeto.
o quanto nos tornamos parte de alguma coisa, o quanto alguma trilha sonora pertence a um momento único.
o quão único vc é no meio da multidão igual.
só vc sabe q quando toca aquela musica, vem um rosto em sua mente. uma sensação.
isso é seu cérebro fazendo conexões, é ele te mostrando q a música conecta tudo, inclusive com vc em outro tempo. o passado.

os vínculos, as lembranças, os desejos, os medos, as angustias, basicamente tudo q vc sente esta relacionado a seu histórico, ao q vc viveu, isso torna voce quem é.
e cada momento disso abrange uma cena, com imagem, cor, movimento, luz, toque, cheiro, gosto e som. e apesar da memória olfativa ser a mais emocional, a auditiva é aquela q aciona partes do seu cérebro q nem vc lembrava. tipo quando vc ouve uma musica q costumava ouvir a 10 anos atras e ainda lembra da letra, talvez se emocione ate mais do q na época. essa memória é a conexão que estamos falando aqui.


o som tem enormes poderes, alem da lembrança, q ajuda pessoas com alzheimer q nunca esquecem uma musica q gostam, impedem o avanço da doença,  a batida certa mexe com vários neurotransmissores de uma vez, dentre os estímulos envolve o movimento, a mobilidade, o ritmo, podendo ajudar pessoas q sofreram derrame a voltar a andar, ou comer, com um simples ritmo TENTAR FALAR COM ARTHUR MILITAR VITA, ele envolve a fala, a canção em si, ajuda autistas a se comunicarem melhor, é uma ferramenta para se expressarem, entre diversos outros, a musica conecta pessoas, conecta a nós mesmos, mas tb conecta os dois lados do nosso cérebro, o racional e o emocional, sendo uma das únicas coisas q tem o poder de criar novos caminhos para uma mesma atividade, isso é fazer sinapses por areas do cérebro q não se conversaria, obtendo estímulos gerais e efetivos. o som é tao poderoso q ja fez a ação cerebral de uma pessoa em coma subir tanto q ela acordou, isso nao foi um caso, foram vários
esse é o poder do ritmo. nao ha limites quando se trata de estímulos com sons. nao duvide de seu potencial, duvide de pessoas.

música é
uma memória
uma sensação
uma reação
um sentimento
um toque
um abraço
um afago
um "sacode"
uma energia, que envolve, fascina, encanta
é a única coisa capaz de fazer seu cérebro trabalhar como um.
sabemos q cada área do cérebro coordena um pedaço, de ação, reação, movimento, estudar.... a música tem todas essas funções
ela é racional, poética, cadenciada, escrita, mas ela tb é emocional, ritmo, movimento, espontaneidade

música faz o ser humano ir do maior estado de êxtase ao mais deprimente fundo do poço.
isso se dá ao q atribuímos a ela
a nossa entrega quanto a ela
ela é vc naquele momento.
é arte

a arte é como nos expressamos
é o que resiste
é o que se mantém
é o q muda tudo

tudo é arte
tudo alguém criou
tudo alguém reage

a música é complexa
ela pode ser interpretada com rimas e versos
ela pode ser lida em partituras
ela pode ser entendida
pode ser mensagem
mas ela tb é simples
ela é sentida
ela é dança
ela é aconchego
ela não precisa ser compreendida
ela precisa ser sentida

I talked to carlos today to ask him about the "practical skills" - find your style, and it was much more than I expected. I thought he was talking about my voice, but it is about how I organize things on the website. because it is so linear and white, that doesn't looks like me. he said I have a voice and aesthetic eye, but my style is something to find out through years,  that calm me down, because I had this pressure in my mind to find one way now, and  that I do know how to do different styles, but I don't have one to be my characteristic. he also helped me to see that my site was so me and my project book was simplified. that was happening because of the lines, I can't write out of it, and became harder to draw and express my ideas in a visual way. so he suggested me to buy sheets without lines. and I agreed. I am stuck in write things in order and on the line. it's bigger than me.

PLANS

I will buy sheets without lines this week.
I will organize my website as my personal aesthetic.
I am doing a lot of little tests of film making, and I need to combine them, to make a long video to project.
I will experiment more materials to make the visual with more texture, because I think it can became more interesting, instead of just simple colors changing. (for the video XP)

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28/04

PROJECT
today I was planning to experiment a lot and luckily the KM activity fitted perfectly.
I was thinking in play with light, shadow, colors, movement and I already planned to pass a feeling of a waterfall, because on my projected video one of the feelings that I want to pass is calm and I believe my calmest moment was in a waterfall, felling the wind, the sun, but mostly because of the sound of the water moving, and the feeling of breathing slowly through something bigger than I (the nature), so when Monique and Lauren asked us to choose a verb, I just search for one that combined this feeling. I choose TO FLOW, because of the feeling of letting things flow in the water rhythm.
I had a problem with the camera, because it was too dark and cellphones usually get images with less pixels to solve it, resulting a squared image. So I pick up another lamp, to be lighter and I covered both lamps with a blue tape, resulting in an intensity blue light. It became more blue than I expected, but the effect of the moving bubble wrap was just perfect, I thought in putting the image upside-down to make the movement start from the top, as usual, but I really liked the inverted flows of the water, it opens more for viewers imagination.

I tested an APP to edit my video and I really liked how I could pickup some sounds from youtube and use overlapped the video. in total I recorded 17 minutes of the bubble wrap and I I cut the best moments, as moving and light vs shadow, because the ventilator was a variable thing to consider. after that I could choose audios from real waterfalls, the calm ones and the harder ones, I also put a hearth beat in the back, to feel presence. (because when I am in a moment that I feel myself, I feel the moment, I considere the sounds around me and my own soul. and when I am in an anxiety crises I need to feel myself again, I start to pay attention to my breath and listen to my hearth beat. my intention with this video was feel piece, as I felt in that waterfall) combining all the presence I could, the feeling of being someone listening your surrounding and the nature itself.
I think I achieve this feeling, at least for myself. I like the moments when the bubble wrap stop and the breath become stronger, and when I close up the image and the water seems more troubled. I really enjoyed to edit this video, it was a real training for my final piece. I could play with the volume and this feeling of flowing.

the craziest part was to see my parents reaction:
my dad felt piece and remember the water moving, he was happy and just enjoyed the video.
my mom felt distressed because she saw a person drowning on the shadows and the breath sound to her was actually a try out to get away of that situation. she was also stick to the video, she couldn't stop watching it, until the final breath.

I decided to use my KM activities on the experience video, because all my pieces can be connected to some bigger expression and a trying to feel good in the middle of anxiety. so I will make a story in this video experience:
noisy -> relief -> calm -> piece -> happiness
starting with confusing images, sound too loud and confusing city moments, news, mixing media ideas, moving/changing images too fast, monochromatic style and than start to disappearing some of the videos, start a calm sound, a blue color, start to close up in one image, start to move slowly, start a rhythm, changing again the color, now for a orange/yellow one, a nice music, as jazz style, "dancing feeling" music, more dancing way, moving images in the rhythm with dancers maybe.

PLANS
I'm planning in change the color on the "waterfall" to see how it feels, if perception became different somehow.
I will probably build a mockup to plan how I will film the experience, as where to position the cameras and how my bedroom will be organized.
I thought in putt the bed in the middle of the room, facing the bigger wall to them sit down, if they want to. and take off all the rest. putting the projector on the extremest corner, to be as big as possible.
I will test some lighting on the mockup, it could be useful to the video.

the XP video I will combine all this testing and images from my gallery.

FEELINGS
I'm very happy to see my evolution, I am really trying to do everything in order.
I want this project to be myself, expressed out, to achieve other confused souls.
I'll share the video of the immersive parte after all, to people feel peace as well.

INTERVIEWS
Lisbeth:
Bruno:

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MONDAY
27/04

PROJECT
idea generation
questions for my parents
think about medals and missions.

PLANS
I will experiment with light, shadow, color, sound.
I will write the story I want to tell......

INTERVIEWS
Roger (roteirista):
Sergio (documentarist):

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24/04
FEELINGS
today I woke up excited to the class, we had a debate about what's going to happen after corona virus,  I thought the discussion relevant and I started engaged with it, but the dynamic of virtual didn't work very well, Henry had to draw names to people say their opinion and I saw the same being repeated, because everyone had almost the same feeling about the future, and a debate when you don't have to convince anyone for nothing is less powerful. but everyone was correct and adding important points. however somehow I started to feel anxious about the uncertainly, the thought that people aren't going to change their ways of consuming. and this discussion of speculation about something we don't know. it came to me in a bad way. I felt so anxious that I don't even could pay attention on the test results of Henry. I had lunch and I had to walk out there. my mind really gots me today. but now, after my sun time, I am trying to sit down and write this reflection.

PROJECT
unfortunately I couldn't do anything that I expected to do about the project today. there's still time and I will try to watch some episode of ABSTRACT paying attention to the taques. (as roger suggested me)

PLANS
this weekend I will plan my script and I will  research my parents to decide the right sound for them.

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23/04

today was the progress tutorial, I have mine with Carlos, in general it was good, but there is "always room for improvement".

I took same notes about what he said and the mosts hard ones to improve were:
- make the reflection more analytical  because I feel something is missing without the description part, but I got the feedback to explain better why my decisions were made (I think that's the key to improve)
- make more drawings and experimentation because I am very rational and at the same time my thought aren't linear, so when I need to come out with an idea, I need to organize this thoughts to be able to understand it as well. I think a lot and ways that I can't explain without preparing before. I will keep my way of taking notes of ideas, but after that I will draw about it. to make it visually. (maybe I'll need same help in this aspect)
- finding a visual style to explore my ideas because that has been a weakness point since always to me. I  knew that I could develop what skill I would like to and learning about it  how much I wanted to, but I realized that being okay in many things was making me not good enough in everything. that's why it's so hard to me to have a "style". I like very different references and I have this problem in drawing something knew. almost always I have a photo reference or some visual style to help me.

other points that ar easier to do it are:
- highlight important words on reflection and research padlet
- separated reflection in FEELING, PROJECT, PLANS, to organize it better
- improve documentation
I was really happy with this feedback and I need to keep planing to start as soon as possible the making part.

maybe tomorrow I will review my reflection as well, to improve them.

today I also had a meeting with roger, he helped me a lot!! I was going to do a documentary without a script. and he opened my eyes to the amount of work I really have to do to realize this project. and before get my hands on, I have to plan each scene, because if time passes and I haven't recorded something, there's no going back, he warned me to the difficult of editing and making a good selection and recommended to me to study the structure of ABSTRACT (that is my main reference of art documentary). he was amazing, and he also write scripts, so I will make an interview with him on monday, after studying it to have more consistent questions.
other tips he gave me:
- story board
- 2 cameras
- making off

after this session my mind was full of ideas and plannings, when I realized that I would need to do 2 works: one with an abstract video with colors and the rights sounds, with a scenario (the EXPERIENCE); and other with script, videos and explanations (the DOCUMENTARY)
that's scary and also exciting, because there are a lot of steps and a lot of things to work well in time, but I am happy and hopeful. I will make a huge nice project.

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22/04
Today I refined my online project book and post some personal works in there as well, I want to see my evolution during this time, I want to push myself to produce more by myself.
https://brubrubcosta.wixsite.com/projectbook
there it is.
I posted all pages of the notebook I'm using and all the references that I salved until the beginning of the quarantine, most of it are from instagram. I also have a "art" folder on my salved posts on insta, and Pinterest. so I just have to use them.

today I am focus in organizing myself through the discovery of individuality of perception of music. it is more important music preferences and familiarity than the frequency of the music it self. of course I can make an environment to push the perception toward I want, influencing how I want to. but I can make it bigger.
I'm thinking in research my parents to do an specific environment for them. and sell it on the documentary explaining how it works, and how would work in a general exhibition.
tomorrow I'll talk to roger about this documentary idea and decide how to continue.
I already have a friend to borrow me a projector. (a good one) I can make the experience in my room, it's already empt...
everything is going fine. I just wish I could be more productive.

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MONDAY
20/04
today I decided to do a Wix site to show my project book.
I organized my calendar and separated how would work.
tomorrow (Holiday) I will use my mom's computer to do the site.
I choose what I wanted to post on my online project book, I took pictures of my physical notebook and I passed everything to google photos to be easier to access on the computer tomorrow.
As I was taking notes on my printed action plan, I decided to include pictures of it as well.
I decided to post my personal projects to motivate myself to do more and more, I don't know if I will just post my recent works or the ones that I like.
maybe the recent ones, to see my evolution during this time, and to motivate me produce more, to feed this part.

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17/04
today I talked to carlos about how could be my outcome, since I'd like to do an experience and making it online was frustrating me a little bit. he helped me to calm down and think in how to adapt, he also suggested me to do a documentary, making the experience at home and film my parents making part of it.
I loved!!!
it came to my mind the style of "Abstract" as 20min talking about an amazing working, explaining how it was make, with interviews, images, process. and I got excited.
I am still on the same track of research that roger helped me yesterday,
1. which emotions I want to transmit?
2. which sounds should I use to each emotion?
3. relate the sound + emotion
4. search for visual solution (either physical or digital)

main while I will do the interviews (qualitative research)
and after that produce.

I divided my calendar until the end of this mouth to research this 4 topics and decide how I will make the experience.
and may is like this:
01-08: montagem
09-13: gravar experiencia
14-18: editar
19-22: divulgar com teaser para instagram stories
28-31: recolher feedbacks do documentario

hopefully it will be all okay, I am planning to end the making part in 18/05 to start to spread and to get feedbacks, but this is also a margin of error (as 3 weeks to fix every possible mistake).

today we did an concrete poem, and I worked on it after the session to make this video with an audio of me calming down with it. I really liked the result. the intensity of the voice is slowing down, and getting air again. as if I was coming back from an anxiety crisis.

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16/04
today we had a lecture with Giorgia Volpe, she is an amazing artist and she told us a lot about her process, which is incredible. very inspiring. I really loved the visual works, as "jardim nomade" and the one of the boats.
but about how was made I loved the one about the "hospedeira".
the importance of documenting our experimentations and outcomes is because in the future it will became just it.
thinking of that I will start a online sketchbook, actually I will just post everything I am doing right now.
I talked to Roger and I realized I was on the wrong track of research, so he helped me again.
It was very important to talk to him, I'm back to my project.
when I decided which platform I will use to my sketch I informe here.

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15/04

I realized that I am on the wrong track of research. I was researching about how to represent, and became something about scenario and stages. which is pretty nice, and I really can get references to my video/app/experience. but now review Roger's suggestion and first I need to find the sounds!

that's the most importante part, and I knew it, but I got distract and engaged to something else.

now in the talk with carlos I realized that everything is blurred and anyone knows what's going to happen, I confess that I am anxious most of the time because of the exhibition, and the uncertainties.

I know there is nothing that anyone can do, and that's worst. I will talk better to carlos on friday, but I don't know.

I have to confess I am using here as a journal to take thing off my head, trying to show evidences of my work inside everything, but my mind is confused and noise, that's why I'm not doing analytical reflections as expected. maybe that's a problem.... I will talk about this on FRI as well.

about my process: I decided my universe of possible questions and which topics I should approach. and the main personalities I need to talk to. (image below)

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14/04

today we had an amazing lecture with Malu, she is specialized in field research and she showed how we need to behave and start, and what kind of questions we should do, she explained that a voice conversation is more strong than online questionnaires, because we can pull the conversation wherever we want and find more deepest answers. she also talked about the importance of being impartial and of letting people give their opinion without judgment.

it was really nice and richer to me.

now I have to decide WHO I am going ask to and which universe I need to engage on the conversation. WHAT KIND OF ANSWERS DO I NEED? WHAT I NEED TO FIND THROUGH THIS QUESTIONS? and than do the interview.

I am planning to decide these things tomorrow to start the interview process as soon as possible.

today I also finished my action plan file and I think is well distributed.

everything is gonna be fine. everything is gonna be fine. everything is gonna be fine. everything is gonna be fine. everything is gonna be fine.

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MONDAY
13/04
I didn't do anything on the holiday about school.
So I still on the same. I used today to organize myself and to really know what I should do.
I am researching and taking notes on padlets, which wasn't updated as my references.
before I start the sound research, I will research about stage scenography, because I think they know how to express music with random lights. and make an experience.
and I am editing my action plan PDF.
we did a comic in the morning class, they want us to talk about what's going wrong nowadays, which isn't the best approach, in my opinion, since I go to class to distract from my thoughts and problems, thinking of that to make a story wasn't my favorite thing to do. BUT while I tried to avoid my real problems I created a comic that does the same. (image below)

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1. search for sounds that relates to the brain (it's the main power of my work, because I want to talk about it relations with our minds) and HOW
2. TEST!!! use a lot of tests and experimentations of how works and if is it for everyone similarly.
3. research about abstract animation images or how to create them. and relates to the sound activity. as a graphic score representation by the beat. (maybe in here I could do a art piece, but using as an animation to go along the sound, IT IS THE MAIN IMPORTANT THINK IN MY WORK)
4. how to create an app, or a software or how to this touch experience. AFTER DECIDING WHAT TO USE ON.

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09/04
today we did another photography talk, of a personal museum. we had to take photos of our objects that represent us the most, and I choose things that explain my personality, more than my appearance. my chosen one was my black belt, and I really enjoyed the activity, to make a studio in my room and to create a blanc scenario to take better photos. my only difficulty was to adjust the white balance, I talked to Cezar after session to help me, isn't perfect yet, but it's better.
each object is well explained on Daily padlet.
we had a little conflict too and it's sad to see. we are trying, but we also need to hear feedbacks and try to improve, there is no right or wrong now, we have to try!!
how is yet the main problem and tutors need to be able to listen that is not working as they expected, Cezar looked a bit angry and I don't think that's the approach, I know they (tutors) got disappointed, but we just want to improve the class, is not that we don't want to engage or we want to miss class, we are here and trying our best to keep going as well. let's build this together!
I talked to Roger by the end of the afternoon and he helped me to find the approach, he opened my eyes to what was relevant to my project. because I got too exited about the HUSH studio that I wanted to do art pieces, but that's not the point, I want to see the impact of the music, not the visual painting. the second (videos with random colors) and third (app for interactive prompts) communicates better what I want to express.

So, I still don't have a decision, BUT I know the way of it:
1. search for sounds that relates to the brain (it's the main power of my work, because I want to talk about it relations with our minds) and HOW
2. TEST!!! use a lot of tests and experimentations of how works and if is it for everyone similarly.
3. r esearch about abstract animation images or how to create them. and relates to the sound activity. as a graphic score representation by the beat. (maybe in here I could do a art piece, but using as an animation to go along the sound, IT IS THE MAIN IMPORTANT THINK IN MY WORK)
4. how to create an app, or a software or how to this touch experience. AFTER DECIDING WHAT TO USE ON.

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08/04
today I researched a lot and find another approach, using lights to show my experience.
I was in doubt about which approach use:
- a performance (dance+light OR with singers OR ...)
- a video (talking OR with random lights)
- an app (to click and interact with OR vibration with the music)
- an art piece (time-lapse showing a painting process OR that experience with ink on the water vibrating OR other visual art in video)

I thought to do something to call attention as well:
a filter to use on stories of instagram, since my persona is millenniums, they use a lot of social media, and I thought if starts with an interactive thing since the beginning, it will call more attention and maybe make them spread organically.

tomorrow I will decide that and make more research to see more ways of doing it.

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07/04
today we have class on the morning and tutorials in the afternoon. my time in the afternoon was very productive and I was proud of myself. I researched a lot and I'm close to a concert.
my idea generation flowed like this

MUSIC -> SOUND SCULPUTURE -> SOUND BY MOVEMENT -> SOUND MOVEMENT MAKING LIGHT SIGNS -> LIGHT PLUS SOUND -> SOUND PLAYING WITH LIGHT -> VISUAL PLUS FEELING -> CONCERTS OF ELETRONIC MUSIC OR SOME STAGE -> PERFORMANCE OF BIG MUSICIANS IN A CONCERT

I know that when we talk about music, a concert is included, but the way I thought it could be interesting was different.
I was trying to find a visual solution for a music feeling, and I got into a lot of performances with audio and light that really gots my attention, mostly by Tim, but a concert is the feeling I really want.
because without knowing my explaining for the music exercise that Carlos did was because of the freedom feeling. it was because my state of mind. and it is really what I want to get.
I will still search for the relations with the brain, but now, both light and sound, and mixing, I think it will be powerful.

my ideas of solutions:
- dance performance affecting a light
- app with touch focus on lighting, while playing a sound
- app that you selected what you want to feel, and it's a full content
- a shower lights down with hard music
- some stimulation of moving making light, with Xbox
-

I was brainstorming this, but I found a lot of nice works, so I started searching and writing about, instead of thinking in my way directly.
I was planning to research about how approach and who I would want to call attention, but it's impossible to know how if I don't know the EXPERIENCE, because each type of WHAT will change the way of HOW call attention. So I'm searching everything, but mostly the step 2.

tomorrow I will organize ideas and padlet.

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MONDAY
06/04
I loved the photography exercise, I really like my photos. and I liked how I stopped to think in my head and started to think looking for something.
I was still feeling, but I wasn't suffering.
I think the series that I took relates to what I'm feeling, as a bird watching the life pass through us.
the name was "Life is happening out there" and it's this duality of feeling that the world doesn't stop for us and we are wrong of saying it just because the humans are inside their houses. but, as well the feeling of a stuck bird watching every sun rises and every moon appears and unable to fly.
sometimes in this quarentine I feel powerless and small. I feel guilty to feel bad, because there are people with HUGE problems. I feel bad to can't focus and to can't be productive out of class. I feel sad to have a lot to do, and even doing it, it feels nothing to help my parents and all. I don't know, I just feel like a bird, repeating the same routine wishing the sky, but unable to fly. maybe the bird isn't inside a cage, maybe it is just without wings, and even with all help and all effort, he can't fly.
I don't know if this represents the way I'm looking outside my house or outside of my body.

I know it seems too sad, but today is a good day. I came back to my independent studies. I did a monochromatic watercolor of a face, to try practice again. it still have problems, and I'm improving, but I'm really proud of restart learning and enjoying a skill in development. it's hard to focus in thinking, but painting free my mind. I feel better.
I didn't do anything about my schedule and project. but I'm happy to start something.

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02/04

today I organized my ideas again with Carlos and Roger. they encourage me to keep going and wrote the final draft.
I'll do the list that Roger suggested me, to make it easier to do the action plan.

Henry's questions make me think WHY my project is relevant and WHY I want to do it. and at first I got confused and insecure, but I know why:
because my intation is to connect people, with others and theirselves, I want to make them feel something, an experience.
so,
1. music is the only thing that connects both sides of our brain
2. I mean every sound, even waves of some frequency, not just music
3. everyone can relates to music, of course there are different tastes, but everyone has some liked sound
4. it's something that I really like, I can't imagine a world without music
5. it relates to our brain waves and I love science, I thought I would be neuroscientist when I was in Highschool
6. this exhibition is my moment to show something I really like and impact people, I want to share how amazing my interestings are, and not everyone knows about music therapy as a reasonable explanation
7. I want to.

today Carlos did a very nice exercise about writing 5 most memorable musics to each one of us and choosing one to explain why.
knowing or not Carlos did a research for me. basically he asked people to show their connections to music, and why.
but, the most unbelievable thing was that I choose a music that reminds me of a state of mind during a show, and Marcella Cappi choose the exactly same music in the same situation of a music festival. it's crazy how can we connect the same moment even being so different and having different memories about it. it's also nice to see people's reasons. music IS really powerful and it's amazing how we can relate everything with it (sadness, happiness, loneliness...).

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01/04
I talked to Henry yesterday and it confused me a lot, because he questioned the bases of my project, making me questions of how I should research about other topics that makes the same experience that I want. I know it's interesting to know, but I choose music because really relates to me and to what I want, why shouldn't I be satisfied and go into it? I think the other topics can relate to music, but not eraser it. I know he was trying to help me and to make me go deeper and find a really strong reason to do about anything, instead of liking something, but we passed through this already, now is time for the last draft, not to questioned the subject that showed my perspective and interestings in one. I felt I needed to change everything and start over. that makes me frustrated and even trying to ignore this part of his huge conversation, I couldn't. I felt that my project was irrelevant.
I don't have the final draft. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. and it makes me wonder if I just got affected this way because I didn't have a good reason for my project. or maybe I'm just fragile and getting affected by everything.
tomorrow I talk to Carlos to understand this part.
I couldn't do much this week about producing.
I just saw some studies about the braim functionality.
I don't have an action plan.
I don't know if my project will continue about this.
I have strong feelings that I really want to do about music, but I still didn't find how. and I think that is stopping me to progress.
I'm just not producing as I expected, or wanted. I don't know if I need to relax or press harder. I'm confused.

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25/03
we have been in quarentine and I just could write today.
I finally connected my work as my personal goals, I find out the subject that I was dealing with (that I already love it) is extremely connected to my fascinating topic (the brain).
I was thinking in do an experience to help people to be calm during this chaos time. but when I has searching for music therapy I find out that is SCIENTIFIC and it really affects the cells in our brain!! that's amazing, it can heal real pain, not just distract for some bad feeling. it actually can active the cells and stop the advancement of Alzheimer. it can help in Ezquisofrenia and Fribromealgia.
the music is the only thing that connects boths sides of our brain. so a person with Alzheimer will never forget a song she loves. it's fascinating. and I can really help people with my design. I am really happy to get to this point.
of course there is a course to be music therapist, but I will study and find how to help minimally. and I'll just mess with people's mood, and not into a disease.

26/03
today I talked to Roger and he helped me to separate better my idea by making a full journey. it's not just about the outcome, but the process. that helped me to understand how things should go now on and how to explain my work on the project concept.
so, I need to separate as step 1 IMPACT (make people curious about my experience, convince them to make it), step 2 THE EXPERIENCE (something musically), step 3 EXPLANATION (talk to them about the benefits of the sound and how them can use it in their favor, talk scientifically about the brain and how each one of us behave).

maybe the final piece will be the documentation of all the journey, and maybe it will be needed a step 4 - THE INTERVIEW with who did it.

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I decided to REDO that project about photography, because I was sick at the time and I'd like to think in something else.
So I started thinking in the proposal: building a 3D object.
but why?
why a photo should be an object?
a photo is already estatic! an object is to confirm that's not gonna change.
in my first project I did a table object and it makes me thought: why was I trying to do the same again? what is the difference between one beauty object to another? what is the purpose of doing the same? the object will make no impact in anyone.
I don't want to build an object.
I want to make people think.
but the brief is to make a 3D object.
an object can be imagined, it can be felt, it can be words maybe. why not?

that's it!!
I wrote a text talking about the inconstancy of each one parallel to the estatic photograph.

I was planning to show the text, but the presentation of "is it a book?" makes me change my mind. I recorded an audio reading it.
and that is my redo project.

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não quero ser apenas uma fotografia bonita

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TUESDAY

I could film yesterday my mother's hands playing, but it's just 3 frames, it has to work.
today we have a critic in the afternoon and I still need to edit the video.
I end it up very fast with an app, so I decided to do some other cards that I planned to do, but I couldn't have time before.
I layouted an artists collaboration front and a "how to fold" back card.
I was running to print it, but at the end everything went well and I got this one more information card to show.

on critic, Carlos said the learning curve was fast and that was a good thing, because in feel minutes of explanation the game became easy and funny.
I was really proud of my result, I think I could mix lucky, strategy and creativity.
but specially the language of the game, I think everything connects and it makes look like a real game, with a theme.
I created this at computer, that is a huge thing to me, and I am happy with the outcome.

my video was made very quickly and improvisingly, so I wasn't a 'how to play' video, it was more like a teaser to show the layout and the cards.

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MONDAY

Today I fix all the drawings in the grid, with it respective name category and color. the mistake was when I needed to cut a part of the drawings to put that name, because my first idea was to do a symbol inside the image, but I wasn't working, it was too noise and ugly, so I opted to make a frame in it.
I think it was the best solution in the time vs. size I had. Because if I changed the layout to a bigger one, just to fix the target, I couldn't have to time to finish all I need.

I already finalized the rules explanation and layout. I think it was very detailed and even to a beginner on Fotiá is easy to got it.
the design of order and position is also a successful part of this project.

after all I sent to CopySet to print everything.

I forgot to say, but on the weekend I found a "jogo da velha" of wood in my house, and it had the perfect pieces to walk through my board, I just have to personalize them.
so, instead of doing a whole new piece, I just printed Roman numbers on transparent stickers to glue on it, and it looks like perfect.

I just finished to print everything and refile.
it's 5pm.
I still have to film and edit a video. I need to think in something simple and pretty.
I will film it in my house, with my mother.

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I realized I didn't have enough drawings for the cards, and some persons left me alone in this, even when I ask again if it was going to be possible to do it, I just wanted to know who I could count with, but some of them said they could do it, but they didn't.
I got a little upset about it, because I gave them the choice of saying they were busy and it won't happen, but they promised me things they couldn't achieve, it wasn't fear.

however it was okay, I picked up some old drawings and collages to present, and also draw through the weekend.

I could point the problems to solve on Monday and I made a detailed action plan.

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THURDAY n FRIDAY after carnaval

I ran out to do it the objective cards and the symbols, but I got a lot of hindrances with the timetable of IT guys, and I couldn't finish everything.
I just couldn't do the objective drawings, and maybe the pieces to walk (I don't really like them, because them don't match with the game so much)
but the symbols are ugly and not aesthetic good on the drawings, I don't know what to do.
I hope I can finish it on Monday and print it on time!!

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FRIDAY

today I started to draw my game.
I first went to find references of a medieval style, as colors, shapes, patterns, fabrics, etc
because I was looking for a style and not a technique Google wasn't so clear and 'artistical' as I want. So I shearched on Pinterest, that's why I don't know much about each reference, as who did it or who is on the pic, but it helped me a lot to understand this aesthetic.

monique helped me to count the sizes of printing and how to do a grid for the cards to make it easy to print both sides.

then I started to pick up patterns that I thought relates to medieval and to what I wanted to be like, first I thought to do a collage with the patterns to be the back of my cards, but than I realized that could be more interesting if I drew my own, because it would be unique.
in the begging was hard to draw on Wacom, because I couldn't make the lines where I wanted, it always started right, but I continous to follow in a different way on the computer, I'm certainly that difficult is because I use the paper sideways, and the computer doens't, even if you turn the table.
because of that I know I took longer than it was needed to do this pattern, but mixing different paterns was a good idea and it made the draw very unique and still medieval. it looks like a owl, but it can be seen a lot of different shapes, I was really happy with the multiplicity of the draw and I think it relates to the purpose of the game: creating a story through the drawings.
and the icing of the cake was the edge in bordeaux, it makes the difference, because it gave emphasis to the draw.

I choose the palete yellow mustard and red bordeaux because while I was drawing, it feels like this. I don't know how to explain that feeling, but it was like I already knew the color, even with the black and white art.
of course it talks to medieval colors, but I think this combination makes a mystical feeling that I loved.

in this moment of the day I still have to do the art of the pieces to the players, the board, each category symbol, the objective cards and the logotype of FOTIÁ.
it's a lot and I eas planning to do all the drawings today, but I didn't expected to take so long in just one draw and I wanted to be digital art, because it's my challenge this year. (improve digitally) unfourtunally I forgot to consider my sluggishness on computer.

after that open hearth moment and some food, I pick up references to symbols. I'd like to do something mystical and medieval as well.
I found out a very nice picture of wood coins with symbols and I decided to use as strong inspiration. I want to have wood pieces on my game, but I don't have time now to the a matrix to send to someone to print on it, and I don't have equipment to do by myself (ebac will be close through carnaval). so I'll probably do it after crit, as a improvement.
however, I got inspired by the shape and colors to do it now. I started doing a octopus in a 'rustical' way, by don't painting as a bloc color, but using scratchs, to be as similar to wood as possible. for that I used a brown/bordeaux color that fits perfectly to my palete and theme.
this time my hand was more used to use the wacom table and I could really draw what I wanted. it was my first real good draw with this technique and I am very pround of my self for expose myself to a new thing and to don't give up.
I was suppose to do one draw per piece of player when I realized it was 10 pm, so I decided to just change the color of the draw to make different players. the octopus had diifferent shades of the same bordeaux and when I tried to put as a yellow, blue, green, purple I couldn't change the colors to a compatible escale of other colors, it just became flat. and I hated that.
so I decided to change just the back of the circule, instead of the animal.
I still prefer a specific drawing to each player, each one with your nuances of color, but I don't have time for that.
and I still have to print the board on silkscreen, which takes time.
thinking of that, I decided to do the board before the other cards and symbols.
I was doing a simple board with the pattern on the background when illustrator stopped and I didn't have more time to start over again. it was 11:45 pm.
I don't know if it saves something of the board file or not. but now ebac will close and I don't have a computer to start over on carnaval...

# data[].attributes.body
THURSDAY
today I started to draw my game.
I first went to find references of a medieval style, as colors, shapes, patterns, fabrics, etc
because I was looking for a style and not a technique Google wasn't so clear and 'artistical' as I want. So I shearched on Pinterest, that's why I don't know much about each reference, as who did it or who is on the pic, but it helped me a lot to understand this aesthetic.

monique helped me to count the sizes of printing and how to do a grid for the cards to make it easy to print both sides.

then I started to pick up patterns that I thought relates to medieval and to what I wanted to be like, first I thought to do a collage with the patterns to be the back of my cards, but than I realized that could be more interesting if I drew my own, because it would be unique.
in the begging was hard to draw on Wacom, because I couldn't make the lines where I wanted, it always started right, but I continous to follow in a different way on the computer, I'm certainly that difficult is because I use the paper sideways, and the computer doens't, even if you turn the table.
because of that I know I took longer than it was needed to do this pattern, but mixing different paterns was a good idea and it made the draw very unique and still medieval. it looks like a owl, but it can be seen a lot of different shapes, I was really happy with the multiplicity of the draw and I think it relates to the purpose of the game: creating a story through the drawings.
and the icing of the cake was the edge in bordeaux, it makes the difference, because it gave emphasis to the draw.

I choose the palete yellow mustard and red bordeaux because while I was drawing, it feels like this. I don't know how to explain that feeling, but it was like I already knew the color, even with the black and white art.
of course it talks to medieval colors, but I think this combination makes a mystical feeling that I loved.

in this moment of the day I still have to do the art of the pieces to the players, the board, each category symbol, the objective cards and the logotype of FOTIÁ.
it's a lot and I eas planning to do all the drawings today, but I didn't expected to take so long in just one draw and I wanted to be digital art, because it's my challenge this year. (improve digitally) unfourtunally I forgot to consider my sluggishness on computer.

after that open hearth moment and some food, I pick up references to symbols. I'd like to do something mystical and medieval as well.
I found out a very nice picture of wood coins with symbols and I decided to use as strong inspiration. I want to have wood pieces on my game, but I don't have time now to the a matrix to send to someone to print on it, and I don't have equipment to do by myself (ebac will be close through carnaval). so I'll probably do it after crit, as a improvement.
however, I got inspired by the shape and colors to do it now. I started doing a octopus in a 'rustical' way, by don't painting as a bloc color, but using scratchs, to be as similar to wood as possible. for that I used a brown/bordeaux color that fits perfectly to my palete and theme.
this time my hand was more used to use the wacom table and I could really draw what I wanted. it was my first real good draw with this technique and I am very pround of my self for expose myself to a new thing and to don't give up.
I was suppose to do one draw per piece of player when I realized it was 10 pm, so I decided to just change the color of the draw to make different players. the octopus had diifferent shades of the same bordeaux and when I tried to put as a yellow, blue, green, purple I couldn't change the colors to a compatible escale of other colors, it just became flat. and I hated that.
so I decided to change just the back of the circule, instead of the animal.
I still prefer a specific drawing to each player, each one with your nuances of color, but I don't have time for that.
and I still have to print the board on silkscreen, which takes time.
thinking of that, I decided to do the board before the other cards and symbols.
I was doing a simple board with the pattern on the background when illustrator stopped and I didn't have more time to start over again. it was 11:45 pm.
I don't know if it saves something of the board file or not. but now ebac will close and I don't have a computer to start over on carnaval...

# data[].attributes.body
WEDNESDAY
today I searched what materials I would use to make a real test, and the best solutions were Triplex and sulfite on roller paper.
I also thought about doing the board on a fabric and use it as a "box" to the cards. the idea is to make it easy to carry on everywhere. so all the game will be in the shape of a deck and it won't crumple the cards and either the board.
I thought it were nice if the cards of draws had different perspectives, because if I did all of it by myself, everything would kind of have the same way of thinking, and mixing artists will mix also ideas generation and how it relates to each category, so I decided to ask a feel artist friends of mine to draw a card in some specific category, and to join this fun game with me.

I'm doing a list of artists who will participate.
but now I need to decide which are the categories and how is the visual of the game.
I also need to make a prototype and test it.
I am planning to test it with my friends on carnaval, and for that I need to do a prototype as soon as possible.

my list of artists until 5pm

1. joao 🤟🏼
2. nicole 🤟🏼
3. marina 🤟🏼
4. marcela
5. milla
6. bel
7. cezimbra
8. bia 🤟🏼
9. nath
10. dennis diosanto

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MONDAY n TUESDAY
idea generation
I searched for games that I liked and how to mix some of them, making a good new game as well.

my main ideas included war, canastra and dixist.
I had all the format and goals of the game, now I have to test it and play to see what goes wrong, and what I didn't preview.
I triyed to write down how to play, as an instruction to see if it makes sense. (photo uploaded) I also did a to do list and a list of good ideas as an alternative. of course everything can change, but I think I got a way to develop a good game.

(from my cel notes)

ideias tops
• tabuleiro em pano q embala o baralho e prende com corda q esta costurada na ponta do tabuleiro
• pedir pra cada artista fazer um/dois desenhos complexos a ver com a categoria
• sempre 7 cartas nas maos
• cartas com objetivos (dizendo num de casas a andar) - menores q as do jogo/outra cor
• cartas do jogo com categorias (simbolos nos cantos)

coisas a fazer/ pensar
[ ] quais categorias
[ ] quantas cartas
[ ] quantas casas no tabuleiro
[ ] niveis de objetivos
[ ] quando um bater, todos comecam do zero?
[ ] qual a identidade visual do jogo
[ ] qual o nome do jogo
[ ] qual max de jogadores
[ ] pinos pra andar no tabuleiro? metade do palito de dente pintado/feijoes/quadradinhos de roler/...
[ ] regras escritas em outra carta, ultima ou primeira do baralho + regras locais opcionais
[ ] coringa? (substitui qualquer categoria)
[ ] paca? (nao pode bater se estiver com ele na mao) - se acabar o jogo com ele na mao, volta uma casa (?) COMO REGRA LOCAL

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TUESDAY

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FRIDAY

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THURSDAY
today I came back and everything is different, they combined every group of Paladar to do the same proposition to the client. I didn't agreed with this because I though the other group was aware of what is best for the client, doing just a happiester Vila Madalena restaurant, but Joao told me they talked and decided to a balance idea. but seeing the part results, I don't think they agreed with a middle idea, they just delegate each part for each group.
I don't they matches.
they just decided for a pallet, but the communication is not that good, and when I started to argue about it, they said I was absent when they decided everything, and now is late to change everything...
I got angry and felt useless, because they are not seeing as one client, each part is just caring about it part.

but, since I am with the budget, I started to ask and change little things, as the frames of the collages and photographs to be the same material and color. I searched for plants to match with the walls. I asked dora to do it a new sign for the front, as her typography and color, but to see with graphics if they can do it as 3D letters.

but my changes are minimum and I still don't think this is what the client wants.
I feel limited about my skills in this project, which I was excited to. and I think they just join groups to have less work, and not to present a better option to the client, I also think the client needs to have more than one view of their place, to choose one.
they separated the walls: the left was is yours, the left is mine. and I don't think only the same colors will make everything match!!

but I can't do it by my own. so I will write down my ideas and what I think would be better and where are the problems just to understand what I really agree, but still present for the client with them.

I made a list of what I need to do (in their proposition) and make my best of something I don't like:

MAQUETE
[ ]
[ ] imprimir quadros da parede
[ ] imprimir toalhas das mesas
[ ] 11 mesas - roller
- ver tamanho
- pegar proporção
[ ] TV na parede de roler? -- is not possible to fix the TV on the wall, because there isn't a support on its back
[x] desenhar piso ou imprimir? -- I decided to paint and draw
[x] pintar parede de branco -- a white paper looks more clear
[ ] imprimir fotos do outro lado
[ ]

VIDA REAL

[ ] imprimir colagens em A2

[ ] moldura de madeira preta - 1cm de largura
- ver se tem pronta
- ver de fazer
[ ] ver moldura pra fotos?
[ ] toalha de mesa com estampa folhas (ver com marimazzer)
[ ] ver se eles tem porta retratos -- I don't think that frames matches with our proposition
[ ] perguntar se eles tem fotos  -- we asked them and they will see, but it's probably normal size pictures, and we want big ones, to put on the wall
[ ] letreiro
- fonte
- tamanho
- cor
[ ] caixa
- mudar a mesa
- colocar prateleira pros doces
[ ] fotos pra imprimir da cidade em papel foto ou colocar moldura
[ ] plantas suculentas -- I searched in a floriculture in Fradique and they were very kind, they asked me to send them what I want, and they make a final budget to me to send to the client, with photos and everything, and after that, if the client accepts they prepare all the vases for us.

I am thinking in put big  succulents on the corners, and near the payment desk.
and put flower pots on the windows.
suculentas
- mandala $35
- brilhantina $40
- vasos de barro $25
- gerânios com flor na floreira
- tradesquineas
- floreira de plástico preto $35 -- 60cm
- suporte $20/25 cada

medidas
- mesas 65x65
- altura mesa 67cm
- mesa do caixa 1,17x 57
- moldura 40x60 food estágio
- moldura verde 45x60
- moldura preta 67x48
- moldura roll 50x70
- 3 vasos médios
- 2 floreiras

all the lighting on the text is what do I have to see prices.

me and Joao started to built this model of the left saloon of Paladar.

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MONDAY AND TUESDAY
in both days I was absent because of a travel, I asked both days if they needed my help and what was going on, on Monday I got just some info about what they did, and on Tuesday they decided to share with me on person next class. so I did nothing related to the project and actually didn't know what is going on exactly.

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FRIDAY
my group and I did a meeting to decided the priorities and make a need list.
yellow is urgent change
pink is important but disposable
white is what we thin is nice to change, but we don't think is possible with the budget now

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THUSDAY
today we had some ideas to both clients.

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WEDNESDAY
today we had our workshop about our personal statement and I found very interesting and important to think about.
we started to know ourselves better to know what to write down, and connects everything you like with the course you want.
I didn't know how to connect some personal curiosities to design, and Roger and Duda helped me a lot!!
now I know what the university expects and how I can achieve it.

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TUESDAY
today we organized research and start to think in ideas of changing.
I basically organized what is wrong about both and how could I improve it.
the problem is that in paladar I couldn't visualize a little change, I think that place needs to change a lot to keep going in here, and I think they're not willing to big changes.
I thought about put down some walls, change de food station to a lighter place, change the towels of the tables, put the TV on the wall, painting all the wall with one neutral color, put more green areas, make a conf place on the back, to people hang out, change the entire visual language (as signs, placards, logo...), put on a balcony to payments, organize in shelfs all the candy, changing the sink of the principal saloon, making a proper space to wash your hands, redo both bathrooms... and there we go!
the problem is that I'm seeing this as someone changing the space, but I need to focus on changing the communication of the space.

on Ilma's place everything looks more easy because she doesn't have much, so everything we decide to put is a new thing, she doesn't need to change, she needs to add.
but also, she is illegal, all ways to got attention may be a problem.
however, I thought about menus in card shapes, a umbrella to protect people through the sun and rain, making a proper logo to sprawl her name and making her known...

I also discovery my group are Joao and Rodrigo, which is good for one side (we can work well together, and is easy to communicate -knowing I'll travel-), but it's kind of frustrating to don't have the opportunity to work with other people and learn about there process and ideas.
I think is good to have other perspective instead of someone that thinks the same as you. (not the same thoughts, but the same way of getting into something).

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MONDAY
today he got the brief and researched about the clients.
we had a lecture about architecture and visual design with monique and we understand the importance to keep the soul of a place, but also change the user experience.

we had lunch all together in both clients (lunch and desert) to observe and see the user experience.
and after we made a fild research around, to understand how others restaurants behave and survive.
to see what talks to our client and what we suppose to be away of.
it was very nice to understand vila madalena and many new places of food exists.
the competition is real and not easy, especially to a place stuck in time as paladar da vila.
ilminha have a lot of issues with law and calling people's attention.
we had this meeting with both clients and made same notes:
there is no easy situation.

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CRITIC
I was very insecure about my outcome, because I didn't plan a object.
I brought some chocolates and candies all in pink paper, maybe to give different situations about the same color, but it wasn't really though.
I didn't want to just put it all on the table, so I decided to use my recipient of glass (the one from the tooth)
I don't have a huge reason, but it was to see it in vertical.

today was the crit, and unfortunately I forgot to record.
but I got surprised how people react...
I felt a little bit exposed, because I'm not used to show my texts to people, either my voice reading it. but they said it was really nice, that looks like a poetry and it was very well recorded.
I was really happy to know that other people felt the same as me in the begging of the project.
they liked my idea of an installation as well and they said I should do it.
some of them said they liked the choose of the color, but other prefer if it had more colors or even just other types of food.
I agreed the presentation wasn't my best, either well thought. but I think I became afraid of having nothing on the table and I put the glass... maybe give people the chocolate it self, without presenting as a object.
I definitely don't like the visual outcome, but I think the audio was very successful.
monique said I was very honest and it communicates well. she also said I should use more records of my texts, that really worked and she got impressed when I told her it was the first shot.
they said I was brave to bring such a different piece, "breaking" the brief.
they really got the idea and it didn't seems I was trying to don't do it.
I really like the feedback, even if I wasn't very happy with the outcome and the result isn't it, and I will get more courage to share my texts.

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in this project I stopped in idea generation, and it's not because I couldn't think in nothing, but because I don't want to make a object, I want to do an installation, an experience. and that process is hard to me.
so I decided to be honest, and write down how I was feeling, and what I wanted to do.

I decided to record the text to present and bring them chocolates.

hoje é quinta feira, 15:40 e eu ainda não sei o que fazer pro projeto.
então comecei a pensar do porque estar tendo tanta dificuldade pra criar algo e cheguei a conclusão q o problema nao é o tempo em q estive parada nas férias, também nao é o fato de eu nao gostar tanto de fazer objetos (também), mas o principal motivo é q nao consigo definir livro em uma coisa.

livros sempre fizeram parte da minha vida e nao faz sentido joga-los num bloco definido. pra mim livros são sensações, momentos, experiências. nao tem como resumir isso em um unico objeto.

-----talvez por isso tentei levar uma sensação ao leitor com o objeto.
mas tantos autores demoram mais de mil paginas pra conseguir te envolver e te mostrar como sentir, como eu conseguiria com apenas um objeto?----

esse projeto nao travou pq eu nao consegui pensar em nada, travou pq to pensando em tudo que já senti ao ler.
o projeto travou pq quero trazer uma experiencia completa - assim como nos livros - e não um objeto esquecido.

o livro é mais q paginas encadernadas, é mais q palavras escritas por alguém inteligente, livros te fazem conhecer lugares, coisas, realidades q vc nunca teria contato.

por isso fui atras de passar uma sensação ao leitor, com texturas diferentes pra trazer outras situações a tona, mas ainda não é sobre isso. é sobre fazer qualquer coisa sem sair de casa, é sobre visitar qualquer lugar, qualquer mente, qualquer sentimento.

o livro não é o objeto, é a experiência.

e eu nao sei o q fazer agora, pq sei q qualquer coisa q tenha a entregar sera inferior aquilo q acredito. e nao me contento com isso.

talvez seja arriscado chegar com um texto pronto dizendo tudo isso, ate pq minhas palavras não resumem um livro, quanto mais todos eles.

e eu sei q o projeto se trata de materiais e sobre reformular o formato do livro, mas pra mim, um livro nunca foi sobre seu formato.

então decidi: vou levar experiências.
em forma de comida, onde ja tem cheiro, cor, textura e gosto, nada mais que um livro.

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today I got this message from my protest instagram account and it made me feel so proud!!
thank you for the opportunity to affect people!

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DAY 9

crit

https://instagram.com/nos.somos.eles?igshid=1augnn9rkodrz

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DAY 8

thursday

today I found out my stickers wouldn’t be enough to present my protest.

first I got desperate, so I went to talk with important people, as Ana and Roger Rocha, they helped me to think practical.

I though a poster would be contradictory to my silent protest, because it was suppose to be seeing intimacy, and a big poster would take this idea off. but Ana told me it dependes where I choose to glue it.

thinking of that I talked to Roger, I explained my idea and my problem and he started to ask me questions to think, and that was essential! we did some brain storming together and my main point was MAKE PEOPLE REFLECT ABOUT ITSELF, in a intimacy way. and I told him my start point was “we blame society, but we are society”. the idea of the mirror was already in my project, because of the SOMOS with S reflected and of my intention. I also had a impactful phase that I didn’t make sticker of. it was just combining everything and I got in a transparent poster glued on a mirror with this phase.

but just one sentence could make the impact I wanted to?

no. I though about choose a iconic face to represent the bad and good to be ourselves too. like bolsonaro and marielle. we are them, or at least contribute with it choices somehow.

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wednesday

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DAY 6

tuesday

today I organized my

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DAY 5

MONDAY

I decided to print in 1 meter vinil fosco sticker sheet.

today I had to finish all the layouts, because when I called the graphics they said if I send the email today, it would be ready for tomorrow, if it doesn’t it would be able just for wednesday. So I tried my best and finalize my logo and created a entire visual language.

in the begging I was with a different ideia of typography, but when I looked into my logo finalized I choose a square approach, everything looks retangular and straight with the same font.

once I started to write everything floats.

Im definitively proud of me.

I looked so much to the same logo style that now I’m seeing as a figure, stead letter. I realize somos is a mirror in the M and I started to try put the last S reflected.

and it did work very well.

I really enjoy the language of this logo and I think the S reflected brought all the difference.

I sent to the graphics and tomorrow everything will be ready for going to streets.

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DAY 4

friday

today I pass all day long doing my logo.

it’s so hard for me using softwares instead drawing by hand!

luckily henry was with us today and helped me a lot with illustrator and how to design a real logo.

I really like the NOS and ELES but “somos” wasn’t looking good. I tried a lot, really.

I tried change colors, change typography, change place, anything looks good.

but the most frustrating part was asking for help and each different person complain about each different thing.

it looks like I had to put all my work on trash and start again. but I didn’t.

After 7 pm I gave up and went home to see other letter and people before I keep going.

it was a really frustrating day. but I’m proud of me for trying so hard and for don’t give up in the middle. I’ll try again on monday.

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DAY 3

thursday

today I develop my idea better. I searched for quotes about my theme.

and start doing my logo marca to put on instagram account, which I create today as well (the name is nós.somos.eles)

roger said I should have a really close concept to be clear my protest.

my logo was based on “we blame society, but we are society” , so it’s supposed to be something like we are part of a group, a community, we aren’t here alone, we aren’t living by ourselves. and I wanted people to understand this collective responsible for the global lies as they are for their own. we all tell the same lies everyday as “i’m fine” or sharing fake news.

my protest is about the truths not said.

from everyone: people to themselves, people to other people, government to people, people to their “followers”

so my approach will be write down phases or drawings that relates with us being them, them as a society, them as real people.

my phases and drawings will be as a punch on people’s face, making they think.

they will be spread in restaurants, supermarkets, streets, bakeries, all kind of stores and poles.

but the plot twist is: I’ll photograph everything for that instagram account, to start a real movement with real people. sharing and being part of it. it will be all in analogue looking, to contrast with this fake mídia and show how in the past people were more real to each other.

I’ll need to create the real logo and the first post for tomorrow, that way I can see the natural grow in exactly one week, until critic.

I’m thinking in pass through streets saying to people follow the movement for true people and giving them a sticker.

(the photo downloaded is my second and favorite logo idea. I’ll refine in computer, doing with real typography.)

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DAY 2

today I develop the idea of society and lies, and how could I represent it.

I decided for a silent protest, I’ll write in some exotic places: cigarettes, CD’s, plaques, sneakers, mirrors, notebooks, pencil cases,...

and photograph everything in a vintage way, and post on instagram, there will be a @ just for that and to give authors credits. I’m thinking in use every phase that impact somehow, as music or book or famous quotes or personal writing, everything!

and starting tomorrow to post.

so my protest would be about truths unsaid.

I’d like to generate some impact, so I won’t share my @ in my personal instagram and I want to see how far I can go with different insights to people, putting this @ of the protest and seeing if people take pictures or pickup or post it. I want to see how people behave with my work.

I’m thinking in do some stickers and see if someone pick them up or if the rain consumes it.

my outcome will be my vintage photographs on the instagram account, and I’m thinking how will I do the poster and the plaque, if I will use one photo or a phase.

tomorrow I will start to select impact phases and design them as mines and creates the insta account.

thursday I will start to write on the streets and photograph.

friday: draw on the streets and photograph. do stickers.

monday: start to do poster and plaque.

tuesday: finish poster and plaque.

thursday: write more and edit photos.

friday: critic.

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MONDAY

today we had a lecture with DENIS DIOSANTO, and it was very inspiring, how he did a lot of viral things and his experience in Acre. that was very unexpected, but nice. I think we should know about other cultures to understand ourself better. and his live is a whole experience!

it gives me a lot of ideas and when I thought about society it first came to me that phase “we blame society but we are society” and I went to truth, because we lie all the time, for others and ourselves.

so I decided to do something related to lies of society. but I don’t know how yet.

tomorrow I’ll develop this idea.

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FRIDAY

we did a map of our yesterday journey.

me and joão decided to draw with tape the most é impacting places we’ve been.

we first represented a kids playing plaque, the hills we have walked into, the building and the little streets between them, the train, the graffitis and finally the leather house.

but our journey didn’t end on the predefined stop, we pic up a bus and went to sesc pompéia and experienced cildo meireles work, and at least we went to the movies to see the winner of canid festival: parasite. it was amazing.

and with that we could represent each important part of the walk and make notes on the postit. the draw was big to show how long it takes: 12 hours. and the proportions are to show the importance for who’s seeing.

if we had more time I think it would be more detailed, but I like our choice of approach.

we used tape, crayon and post it’s.

the crayon looks good to draw, but I would prefer a pen or something less smelter.

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THURSDAY

today we walk. a lot.

my partner was joão and by the end of the day our cellphone showed we walked more than 13km.

besides our last place been a leather house, I liked to enter in different alleys and see the graffiti and the differences between a normal walk alley and a almost abandoned one.

I also liked the views of the upper streets and from the catwalk above the train because there were the moments where we could breath and feel the wind as if we didn’t were part of the city, but beyond that. look the city moves without you.

it makes me feel good and small.

the after was amazing as well, sesc pompéia with cildo meireles got my attention because it was almost everything interactive, and I really like to be part of the art.

then we a winner of canid festival on the movies, and I didn’t expected a serious movie named parasite, but was very impactful and real. I don’t know how to express myself better without giving spoilers, so I will just say that I liked very much, and it makes me think a lot about our society and how it behave with each other.

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DAY 7

tuesday

today was the critic.

and roger made we talk about another person drawing, so we had the change to see if the drawings work as a communication end of the world.

but, giovanni told about mine, and he was there step by step, so he explained what he already knew. but he complemented me for the hiding pieces, he found pretty cool.

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DAY 6

monday

today I did the last draw.

I had some difficulties to find a way to cover all the paper, because my idea was to cover the background in red, but getting wrong was the best thing to me, because I rethought the draw it self to figure out a solution.

I realized that a full color paper wouldn’t make the impact I expected. so I thought in continuous the 3 draw, being like a abduction. and now my main character ends in a transe, which is not the end I planned for her, but it was what come to me after doing everything, and maybe it talks better with my narrative.

It was not my favorite draw, but works.

I really like the egypt one and the ‘earth is a mirror’. because the first is more complete and detailed, and the third is my mind. I always imagined that way and it is the less ‘referencitive’ draw of this narrative.

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SUNDAY

today I planned the 3 one and sketched each color where it supposed to be. and than I draw it.

I loved the looking and the idea. the only thing I was a little bit sad, was that the blue became so dark that the colors didn’t  hide almost anything.

thinking in that I got to a new concept: the warning of the end is showing up slowly, sútil, until it is right on your face, so I started with some little changes and the same scene at the context to a scene revealing something that wasn’t supposed to exist and different character with something confused, and than to a totally different scene, with a lot of new characters and being almost simultaneously the red and blue, until it isn’t necessary to use the red acrylic anymore.

I really liked this concept and I think it makes more sense when explained.

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FRIDAY

today I finished the first draw and I did the second one.

the first was amazing, but I struggled to do my main character in ‘realistic’ style.

the second waste one full red pencil, and I didn’t like the outcome very much. I think the principal scene is too small and the storm is not hard enough.

I realized too late that orange also disappear and I didn’t divided well graphically.

I think it is because I planned the idea of the bermuda triangule but, I didn’t plan the draw, so I couldn’t visualize the proportions and colors before do it. but I don’t have enough time to do another one, I’ll keep going.

I bought a new color pencil and now I’m ready to planning better what I’m going to do.

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DAY 5

thursday

I planned each draw and searched for how I was going to do the egypt mite and what myte/ conspiracy theory I would use for nowadays.

the research went well and I decided to use the scene of the final judge for the egypt and the bermuda triangule for nowadays, because it’s something people really don’t know and it could be a warning too.

I also planned the egypt draw, visualizing what elements would I use and the dimensions of each.

I drew Anubis and I loved it, because it was exactly how I imagined when I first read about the myte. the only challenge is to draw the other gods with the same visual language.

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DAY 4

tuesday

I searched for materials and tested everything.

here what I got to:

- pens (even bic or stabilo) are to dark to disappears completely

- some pencils work well, depends on the red, some of them were also too dark

- crayons are perfect

- on the yellow paper it still work, but the blue became less hiding into the red

- some yellow and soft pink work as well, mainly crayons and pastel stabilo markers

- pens as faber castell colors mix color with blue and it’s not good to hide

-

everything based on test and seeing through the acrylics

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DAY 3

today we continuous to develop ideas.

I tried to mix a red photo with a blue one, expecting to be double exposure 3d looking, but instead became purple.

I got frustrated because that would be very nice and it changes my yesterday planning, now I have to develop some new technique involving each draw, to make sure they’re a continuous narrative of the same men.

I also started to draw my main character. it’s from a draw that I did on my drawing book, I just adapted to be my traveler.

her body is simple and with no bones apparently, to be less like a human anatomy, she is sweet and brave, because she looks like an elfin, her eyes are small combining with her nose, specially her mouth is big as it can be, because it makes she powerful and pretty.

I first imagine as a men to be my main character, but when I searched my drawing book for a face of inspiration, I saw her and medially I chose her.

giovanni gave me the idea of using a black color behind the red, just an image, this way when I use the red transparent paper, it will just “cover” the red drawing and it will show what was hiding in black.

so I didn’t have the problem of turning purple.

I’ll try to do that with my red acrylics and a red pen, if it works I’ll probable do that way. hopping for the best, the photoshop version really put me down.

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today we had an amazing lecture with Leo Gibran, he does a lot of different things and that inspires me, because I thought we have to choose one pathway to be successful, but he has a huge experience in different areas and has his visibility.

and also he said some interesting things about do a narrative in the same universe, the drawings of our actual project had to talks, to make sense together.

I had a lot of ideas and I was struggling to chose one to be my end of the world, until I’ve found the perfect idea: a guy who is traveling through different worlds until the end of them.

I developed this idea of the traveling between worlds and I created a whole history about why I was going to draw just 3 of the existente worlds: because they show the end coming, as warnings.

I first thought about doing three totally different worlds, but henry alerted me of connecting the narrative and I decided to do the double exposure 3D effect in all scenes, because in that way I could hide an alert about the end without being obvious.

characteristics of my narrative:

* worlds

- coexist

- are parallel and simultaneous: there are a lot worlds in the same universe, but at the same time in parallel universes, the same worlds

- respects a chronological order as a disposition on the space

* traveler

- was trying to understand the end

- travels with a machine

- gets affect in each world he visits

- discovery the error of society

- couldn’t stop the end

- his end doesn’t mean the end of the worlds at this point

- he gots till the end because he went there

- the worlds keep existing after he died

- he was a lonely men passionate about life

- tried to safe society without anyone knowing

-

* my drawings

- will represents warnings that is something wrong with society

- will be 3 different mythologies

- all the drawings will be with double exposure 3d technique

- the first is egypt mythology: some scene in red of a common life in egypt, but in blue some reveling stuff

- the second is nowadays mythology: some common scene in red and some reveling stuff in blue

- the third is a dimension mythology: some common scene in red and some reveling stuff in blue

- the last paper will be entire black, with the man falling (he’s white)

- the warning will be in blue and in the letters ( Egypt, Nowadays, Dimension)

- they are in chronological order, but it’s happening everything at the same time

- I’m thinking in do digital drawings of a simple scene in each and use photoshop to change colors and give the effect blue and red

- I need to have 2 different draw for each

-

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today we study the brief and generate ideas by doing a collective drawing listen to musics of the sound track of “the end of the fucking world” series.

it makes me feel unfinished, because I saw some interesting parts of the whole paper, but the ideas was disconnect and when I tried to build something with it, it didn’t feel myself, because every topic was just an image without a concept, it had specific styles and anyone of them was something I want to do, because everything seems that already was seen and I want a different view of a cliche topic.

after class I started to brain storming, and I got to mythology, which has lots of worlds, and the end of world could be of the worlds. that idea really got in to me and I tried to search about egypt, viking, celt. I also had an idea of an amazing effect named double exposure 3d. I don’t know yet what I’m going to do.