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The writer made a claim about many suitors, but only used evidence for Lucentio (one suitor)

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The claim doesn’t relate to the points of just Lucentio. In the claim they were talking about the suitors as a whole, but when continued the only brought the points back to Lucentio and not the other suitors.

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The claim is simple and doesn’t make sense. It also doesn’t tell us what th paragraph is about we have to find out what it’s about after we are done reading it. The evidence also doesn’t really support the claim. I would make a better claim and use evidence that supports that claim.

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This student sample is probably the best written but the claim doesn’t go in much of a main topic for the reader to read or know what they are reading about. They go back and give evidence from the play to better understand and let the reader go back to connect to it. They also stated they would introduce and explain about the other suitors but they only talk or discuss about one. They didn’t follow the claim.

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The analysis does explain what is going on in the evidence, however it doesn’t connect with the claim. Write an analysis that has to do with multiple men fighting for her hand, or write a claim that has to do with Bianca going against societal norms.

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There is no claim for this paragraph and the evidence doesn’t make sense because there’s no claim. It makes it confusing for me to know what this paragraph is about . The last sentence should’ve been the first sentence and then it would be more clear what they were talking about

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The claim is to vast of an idea and should be shortened to get to the point because it is confusing for the reader to understand. Because of a confusing claim the evidence in the story does not fit.
SL

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There’s no clear claim so the structure is very confusing and I’m not sure what they are talking about

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There isn’t a solid claim connecting to the evidences analysis. The analysis also says that Bianca was flirting with him despite being a tutor, but it isn’t something originally discussed in the evidence or claim. The analysis should relate more to Bianca’s suspicion, make sure evidence and analysis align, it’s more like a summary

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There isn’t a claim so there isn’t anything to connect the evidence to.

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There is no claim for this response, which leaves the reader confused on what the whole paragraph is about. The student should have placed the claim first instead at the end so the readers know that Bianca is going against social norms. -Fernanda

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There is no straightforward claim. The evidence is very off topic but I don’t really know the claim we were talking about anyway. The evidence  seems jumbled together on different ideas and concepts. It needs to be more focused and connected to the claim.

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This person is constantly moving to another topic in the mini right. You can tell that they couldn’t write it all out. They kept focusing on more than one topic. They didn’t have a good claim. The claim doesn’t connect to the topic.

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The student does not give a claim to their paragraph. Also they don’t explain who characters are for example: Bianca, suitors, and Lucentio. Need more quality background on how the suitors and how their wealth affects how Bianca feels.
Nicole

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The claim isn’t clear

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The person writing this did not explain what they should have. The evidence is supposed to connect back to the claim of the suitors fighting for Bianca’s hand but instead, they talked about how she may be interested in Lucentio. The person does not explain how these two things connect to wealth or the other suitors fighting so maybe the person should elaborate on their original claim and idea first.

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The writer could’ve used better evidence to follow up his or her claim AD

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There is no claim

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Needed some more evidence to show how exactly Bianca is defying societal norms.

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The evidence shown doesn’t relate to the claim. The claim was towards the end of the so

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There is no claim so we don’t know what the writer is focusing on

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Where is the claim? In the end you state Bianca isn’t obeying society’s rules, if that’s what you’re trying to prove, then make your first sentence about it too. If what you already have as your first sentence is your claim, then support it by listing all who wish to marry Bianca. Can you also explain how Bianca flirting with Cambio isn’t part of her normal character so that readers know she doesn’t normally break rules.

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The evidence does not relate to the background provided or the analysis . After the evidence is written the writer talks about how wealthy people were expected to marry wealthy people but nothing in the evidence connects to it. -Amina Q.

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This person could’ve went into more detail on how Bianca is defying societal norms and how it is “unusual for her to do”. From reading the story, we know that Bianca is one to obey all the “rules” and fit in, however when she’s alone with Lucentio, she has a different side to her. I suggest adding something like that in to make your analysis stronger.