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This is an organization all about the positive discipline.

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Positive Discipline Association promotes and encourages the development of life skills and respectful relationships in families, schools, businesses and communities.

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this web address is all about positive discipline

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Click Here to download a PDF version of "What is Positive Discipline?"

Mission Statement
To create a peaceful world by teaching Positive Discipline social emotional life skills for respectful relationships.
Positive Discipline is a program developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen. It is based on the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs and designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Positive Discipline teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).

Recent research tells us that children are hardwired from birth to connect with others, and that children who feel a sense of connection to their community, family, and school are less likely to misbehave. To be successful, contributing members of their community, children must learn necessary social and life skills.

Jane Nelsen gives the following criteria for effective discipline that teaches:

FIVE CRITERIA FOR POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

1. Is Kind and Firm at the same time. (Respectful and encouraging)

2. Helps children feel a sense of Belonging and Significance. (Connection)

3. Is Effective Long-Term. (Punishment works short term, but has negative long-term results.)

4. Teaches valuable Social and Life Skills for good character. (Respect, concern for others, problem-solving, accountability, contribution, cooperation)

5. Invites children to discover how Capable they are and to use their personal power in constructive ways.

The Positive Discipline Parent Education and Classroom Management models are aimed at developing mutually respectful relationships. Positive Discipline teaches adults to employ kindness and firmness at the same time, and is neither punitive nor permissive.
The tools and concepts of Positive Discipline include:

Mutual respect. Adults model firmness by respecting themselves and the needs of the situation, and kindness by respecting the needs of the child.

Identifying the belief behind the behavior. Effective discipline recognizes the reasons kids do what they do and works to change those beliefs, rather than merely attempting to change behavior.

Effective communication and problem solving skills.

Discipline that teaches (and is neither permissive nor punitive).

Focusing on solutions instead of punishment.

Encouragement (instead of praise). Encouragement notices effort and improvement, not just success, and builds long-term self-esteem and empowerment.

Unique characteristics of the Positive Discipline Model also include:

Teaching adults and students through experiential activities. Creating opportunity to practice new skills and to have fun learning by doing.

Classroom discipline programs and parent education programs that are consistent. Parents, teachers, and childcare providers can work together to provide a secure, consistent environment for children.

Inexpensive training and ongoing support so members of communities can teach each other Positive Discipline skills.

Certified trainers across the country who can work with schools and communities.

Click Here for more videos on Positive Discipline.

A HISTORY OF POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

The Positive Discipline Parenting and Classroom Management Model is based on the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs.* Dr. Adler first introduced the idea of parenting education to United States audiences in the 1920s. He advocated treating children respectfully, but also argued that spoiling and pampering children was not encouraging to them and resulted in social and behavioral problems. The classroom techniques, which were initially introduced in Vienna in the early 1920s, were brought to the United States by Dr. Dreikurs in the late 1930s. Dreikurs and Adler refer to the kind and firm approach to teaching and parenting as democratic.

In the 1980s, Lynn Lott and Jane Nelsen attended a workshop facilitated by John Taylor.* Lynn began training interns to teach experientially and wrote (with the help of her interns) the first Teaching Parenting Manual. Jane was the director of Project ACCEPT (Adlerian Counseling Concepts for Encouraging Parents and Teachers), a federally funded project that had received exemplary status while in its developmental phase. Jane wrote and self-published Positive Discipline in 1981. It was published by Ballantine in 1987. In 1988, Jane and Lynn decided to collaborate on the book which is now titled, Positive Discipline for Teenagers, and began to teach parenting and classroom management skills experientially. Lynn and Jane also wrote Positive Discipline in the Classroom and developed a manual filled with experiential activities for teachers and their students.

In the years since, Positive Discipline series has grown to include titles that address different age groups, family settings, and special situations. Positive Discipline is taught to schools, parents, and parent educators by trained Certified Positive Discipline Associates. Community members, parents, and teachers are encouraged to become trained facilitators and to share the concepts of Positive Discipline with their own groups.

Positive Discipline parent education classes are taught across the country, and Positive Discipline is successfully used as the classroom management model in private, religious, and public elementary schools. A demonstration school program is currently being developed.

THE EVIDENCE FOR POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

Formal evaluation comparing Positive Discipline Schools with schools using other discipline programs is just beginning. However, studies of implementation of Positive Discipline techniques have shown that Positive Discipline tools do produce significant results. A study of school-wide implementation of classroom meetings in a lower-income Sacramento elementary school over a four-year period showed that suspensions decreased (from 64 annually to 4 annually), vandalism decreased (from 24 episodes to 2) and teachers reported improvement in classroom atmosphere, behavior, attitudes and academic performance. (Platt, 1979) A study of parent and teacher education programs directed at parents and teachers of students with maladaptive behavior that implemented Positive Discipline tools showed a statistically significant improvement in the behavior of students in the program schools when compared to control schools. (Nelsen, 1979) Smaller studies examining the impacts of specific Positive Discipline tools have also shown positive results. (Browning, 2000; Potter, 1999; Esquivel) Studies have repeatedly demonstrated that a students perception of being part of the school community (being connected to school) decreases the incidence of socially risky behavior (such as emotional distress and suicidal thoughts / attempts, cigarette, alcohol and marijuana use; violent behavior) and increases academic performance. (Resnick et al, 1997; Battistich, 1999; Goodenow, 1993) There is also significant evidence that teaching younger students social skills has a protective effect that lasts into adolescence. Students that have been taught social skills are more likely to succeed in school and less likely to engage in problem behaviors. (Kellam et al, 1998; Battistich, 1999)

Although specific studies of the Positive Discipline parenting program are in the early stages, programs similar to Positive Discipline have been studied and shown to be effective in changing parent behavior. In a study of Adlerian parent education classes for parents of teens, Stanley (1978) found that parents did more problem solving with their teens and were less autocratic in decision making. Positive Discipline teaches parents the skills to be both kind and firm at the same time. Numerous studies show that teens who perceive their parents as both kind (responsive) and firm (demanding) are at lower risk for smoking, use of marijuana, use of alcohol, or being violent, and have a later onset of sexual activity. (Aquilino, 2001; Baumrind, 1991; Jackson et al, 1998; Simons, Morton et al, 2001) Other studies have correlated the teens perception of parenting style (kind and firm versus autocratic or permissive) with improved academic performance. (Cohen, 1997; Deslandes, 1997; Dornbusch et al, 1987; Lam, 1997).

*Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937) was a Viennese psychiatrist who immigrated to the United States. Though a contemporary of Freud, he promoted a substantially different view of human behavior. Adler believed that behavior is not driven by events in the past, but moves toward a goal of belonging and significance that is influenced by each individuals decisions about themselves, others, and the world. Rudolf Dreikurs (1897 - 1972), also a Viennese psychiatrist, was the director of one of the child guidance centers in Vienna that used Adlers methods with families and classrooms. He immigrated to the United States to avoid Nazi persecution in 1937, earlier in his career than Adler. Dreikurs was one of the first people to recognize the benefits of groups in therapy. He was a tireless advocate for relationships based on mutual respect, both at home and at school. His well known books include Children the Challenge, Maintaining Sanity in the Classroom, The Psychology of the Classroom.

*John Taylor lives and works in Oregon. He is author of Person to Person: Awareness Techniques for Counselors, Group Leaders, and Parent Educators. (1984) R & E Publishers, Saratoga, CA.

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Click Here to download a PDF version of "What is Positive Discipline?" Mission Statement To create a peaceful world by teaching Positive Discipline social emotional life skills for respectful relationships. Positive Discipline is a program developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen.

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web address
this is all about how you positively discipline children

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It's the age-old question, isn't it? For generations, parents worldwide have debated the most effective parenting methods until their kids had kids and those kids had kids .

What's worse, the division lines are strong - parents on both sides of the camp dig in their heels insisting THEIR way is the most effective way to raise children. All the while, desperate parents are searching for genuinely helpful solutions that will finally bring peace into their homes.
Or only consequences?
The list is endless, my friend. I know how endless it is because I once asked all of these questions and more after I reached my limit. Having gone to bed hoarse nearly every night from reminding, nagging and yes, yelling - while still seeing NO changes in my kids' behavior - I knew there had to be a better way.

You can learn all about how I got to this place , but let me encourage you, all hope is not lost. I know because I've been there - deep in the trenches of parenting seeing no way out. I firmly believe that knowledge is power, and with the right tools, you can become the parent you've always dreamed of being. The disciplining wisdom I want to share with you literally changed the trajectory of my family and thousands of others .

The . Because Positive Parenting methods I teach are built on two very firm foundations - Adlerian Psychology and Positive Discipline these tools are rooted in sound science and heavily-researched practices, I can confidently say these tools work for children from toddlers to teens and are effective no matter what circumstances your family may find themselves in.

What is the Goal of Discipline?

Before we discuss the dos and don'ts of parenting, let's take a moment and consider the goal of discipline.

If I were to ask you about your discipline goals, you're probably thinking about those goals in terms of typical misbehaviors:
Stop the temper tantrums.
And on, and on, and on....

While each of these goals is completely valid and well-intended, when we pigeonhole our focus onto one or two problems, we miss the point of discipline.

Disciplining, as opposed to punishing, is all about training. It is the idea that we want to guide, instruct, inform, and teach our children HOW to behave instead of punishing them for misbehaving. The goal of discipline isn't short-sighted or specific to one problem area.
The goal of discipline is a long-term objective.
Think of it this way - if I were to ask you to pick three adjectives you hope will describe your child during adulthood, which words would you pick? Resilient? Respectful? Capable? Self-sufficient? Hard-working? Self-Motivated? Compassionate? Generous?...

When you're considering a discipline method, ask yourself if that method will guide and instruct your child to be more like the adjectives you chose.
Does yelling at your child teach him how to be respectful to others? Does spanking your child teach her to show compassion or generosity? Does paying your child for good grades teach him to be self-motivated? Does cleaning your child's room or picking up the toys encourage her to be self-sufficient?
The daily goal of discipline is to have your children learn from their mistakes and not repeat them. Unfortunately, most parents have only been taught short-term solutions.

Consider the ever-popular "time out" tactic of sending kids to their room to "think about what they've done." Do they really "think about what they've done and consider other choices?"

Probably not.

Because they are 5.

And they don't have the processing skills to reflect on what they did wrong and what they could do differently next time.

But they DO have the emotional awareness to know how frustrated they are with mommy or brother or friend.

Just because a child is told "no" over and over doesn't mean he inherently understands what behavior would receive a "yes." Without proper training, kids will keep up the same behaviors despite the punishment.

When you reframe your discipline strategies by considering long-term goals, you can focus on the small training decisions each day that will teach your child how to be a capable, resilient, and respectful adult.

How Do You Discipline Your Child?

As I mentioned before, we often equate the term "discipline" with "punishment."

When we punish with the intent to have the child "pay" for their mistake, it doesn't help her learn how to make a better choice next time. Punishment often leads to power contests, and because our kids know poor behavior gets them attention, they'll keep doing it.
The most effective discipline strategies are those that PROACTIVELY PREPARE a child so the parent doesn't have to REACTIVELY RESPOND.
Successful discipline requires an initial investment up front. But trust me, my friend, your initial investments will have great behavioral payoffs in the long run.

When it comes to knowing how to effectively discipline your child to achieve LONG-TERM results, here are three areas to get you started:

1. Fill the Attention Basket

Kids need attention, plain and simple. If we don't keep that "attention basket" full of positive attention, kids will seek out any attention they can get - even negative attention. They'll push our buttons with negative behaviors; because, to a kid, even negative attention is a "deposit" in the attention bucket.

This doesn't mean you have to be at your child's side 24/7 - just taking a few minutes a day to spend one-on-one with your child, distraction-free and doing something they want to do, will reap immense rewards in their behavior.

Take 10 minutes once or twice a day with each child and play a game they've picked or read their favorite book. Let the phone go to voicemail. Don't respond to the text. Let the dishes sit in the sink.
When you fill your children's attention baskets positively and proactively, your kids will become more cooperative and less likely to seek out attention in negative ways.
Life is busy for everyone, and finding extra time in the day may be daunting at first, but think of this as an investment in your relationship with your children and improving their behavior. When it comes to knowing how to discipline your child, giving them what they need to avoid poor behaviors in the first place can have a great impact.
"I'd really like to play with that tractor when you're done."
Note: Positive Parenting Solutions Members , refer to STEP 1 to learn the secrets to easily implementing MIND, BODY AND SOUL TIME® activities in your already too-busy day! Also, see the Ultimate Survival Guide, MBST: Your Secret Weapon for Better Behavior.

2. Take Time for Training

Role-playing is a great way to do this.

For example, if your child is having trouble sharing and this results in her hitting another child, instead of whisking her away to time-out, diffuse the situation and show her the appropriate way to respond.

Or if your child is throwing a tantrum because they are hungry, give them the appropriate language to use, "I'd like a snack, please."

And here's the fun part - switch roles and pretend you're the child and let your little one direct you through making better choices. And remember, like anything, this will take consistency and repetition. Don't expect your child to respond appropriately after one round of role-playing. But practice makes progress and progress makes more peace in your home.

Lastly, be encouraging when your kids make the right choices - or even show ANY movement in the right direction. "I see you worked hard to clean up the playroom all on your own! That's such a big help. I really appreciate it." or " Thank you for sharing the book with your brother. How kind!"

3. Set Limits and Stick to Them

With the busyness that plagues families today, it can be difficult to be consistent in your daily schedules. But the reality is, kids thrive when they have structure and know their boundaries. When the expectations are clearly communicated in advance, kids have a framework to work within.

This doesn't mean you need to go overboard with hundreds of rules, but focus on what's most important for your family. Be clear about the ground rules and what happens when someone breaks the rules - make sure that everyone understands the consequences ahead of time and that the discipline is related to the misbehavior.

If he refuses to adhere to your technology time limits, he loses his technology privileges for the next day or week (depending on the age).

But, making her clean the garage because she didn't do her homework isn't related and is therefore not an appropriate consequence.

Above all, be consistent. Follow through every time with the agreed-upon consequence when kids push the rules.
I'll teach you how to get your kids to listen without nagging, reminding or yelling!
Note: Positive Parenting Solutions course members , refer to Session 3, Lessons 25 & 26 for everything you need to know about implementing effective consequences in your home.

Final Thoughts

My friend, this parenting ride can feel overwhelming! I hope you're feeling a little more hopeful as you implement these starter discipline strategies. Unfortunately, I can never get all of the information I'd love to share with you in one little blog, but I'd love for you to continue learning with me!

If you still have discipline questions, I'd be honored if you'd join me for a FREE ONLINE CLASS.

Wishing you all the best on your parenting adventure!

What You Should Do Next:

1. Subscribe to my Newsletter:

Sign up for my newsletter for parenting tips to help you create a happier home and become the parent you always wanted to be. Plus, when you subscribe, I'll also send you a copy of our strategy-packed guide 10 Tips for Better Behavior - Starting NOW!

2. Register for my FREE 60-Minute Class:

Register for my free class called How to Get Kids to Listen, Without Nagging, Yelling or Losing Control. Classes run several times per week to accommodate your busy schedule.

3. Enroll in my 7-Step Parenting Success System® Course

Enroll now in my proven 7-step system for busy parents ready for change (it's rated 5 stars on Google). Plus, for a limited time, save $100 on all plans-completely risk-free and with lifetime access.

About the Author

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How To Discipline Your Child: Top 3 Positive Parenting Techniques

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It's the age old question, isn't it? How do we discipline our children effectively? In this article, I share 3 foundational discipline strategies that have transformed thousands of families and they can help yours too. Start seeing changes in your family today!

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Positive discipline books

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Positive discipline video

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Five Criteria for Positive Discipline With Parenting Expert Dr. Jane Nelsen

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http://www.PositiveDiscipline.com - Dr. Jane Nelsen explains The Five Criteria for Positive Discipline in this brief video. Dr. Nelsen gives parents non-punitive parenting tools. Behavior challenges, temper tantrums, difficult children, strong willed child, disciplining children are all topics of concern for today's busy parent.

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Be mindful of the intermediate and long term goals of your child.

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Teach the child what they should do and what they shouldn't do.

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Be kind but be very firm with the child.

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Be very considerate of the child's emotions.

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Connect with the child before you try to redirect their behavior.

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Positive discipline is important, because it will teach your children respect and they obey obediently.

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What is positive discipline?
Positive discipline focuses on the important social and life skills that is deeply respectful for both parents and children.