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The main character in the book struggles with bullying, mental illness and the lack of self esteem along with having to much of a grip on reality; seeing everything for what it is. Throughout the novel Shane explains how everything felt throughout his educational life chapters. The constant bullying led to self hatred and a ton of deep rooting anger. He wanted control of his life without having the skills to do so, he goes to negative coping mechanisms and unhealthy ways of expressing his emotions. It was as if his emotions were to much for even himself, as if there was always a volcano about to erupt from his chest destroying anything in its path. The neglect and lack of social skills had an effect on the boy in the book, causing him to have many hardships throughout life but he never gave up no matter how much he had wanted to, something always kept him going.

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"Each bell that signaled the end of class, also signaled the start of the next round in a boxing ring shaped like a school hallway. And my heart pounded steady: 'get up get up.' "

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"Each bell that signaled the end of class, also signaled the start of the next round in a boxing ring shaped like a school hallway. And my heart pounded steady: 'get up get up.' "

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"The story of our lives unfolds only once, and each time a page is turned, we force ourselves into knowing that we can never edit or rewrite our past." Pg. 168

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"The story of our lives unfolds only once, and each time a page is turned, we force ourselves into knowing that we can never edit or rewrite our past." Pg. 168

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"I was never meant to be this thing. But it's how I learned to survive. It was my reason it was my because."pg.168

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"I was never meant to be this thing. But it's how I learned to survive. It was my reason it was my because."pg.168

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"My fingers were sticks of dynamite with grenades for knuckles. My chest was a brick of C4. My knees and elbows were blasting caps- all of it wired into an alarm clock head, whose gears, wheels, and cogs finally clicked past all thoughts of past and future, and settled on the concept of now" pg.124

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"My fingers were sticks of dynamite with grenades for knuckles. My chest was a brick of C4. My knees and elbows were blasting caps- all of it wired into an alarm clock head, whose gears, wheels, and cogs finally clicked past all thoughts of past and future, and settled on the concept of now" pg.124

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"I could feel tentacles reaching up from inside me, there was something living in my bile, and like a man buried alive by mistake it desperately wanted out whatever it was this thing wanted to tear open my stomach and let the acid melt its way through my belly so it could poor out into the world and feed a hunger so drastic and once it consumed the world and it could (and would) eat itself for dessert" Pg.51

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"I could feel tentacles reaching up from inside me, there was something living in my bile, and like a man buried alive by mistake it desperately wanted out whatever it was this thing wanted to tear open my stomach and let the acid melt its way through my belly so it could poor out into the world and feed a hunger so drastic and once it consumed the world and it could (and would) eat itself for dessert" Pg.51

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"Panick gripped me like the 'ocean' handle in a car swerving in to a deer in the road, dread hipnotized like a dear oncoming in the road" pg 22 

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"Panick gripped me like the 'ocean' handle in a car swerving in to a deer in the road, dread hipnotized like a dear oncoming in the road" pg 22 

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"If compassion wasn't just a thing that people possessed from time to time if it was tangible if it could take shape and if people could go beyond just sensing it within themselves if they could feel it in a physical way it would feel like my grandmothers hand on their backs" pg.14

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"If compassion wasn't just a thing that people possessed from time to time if it was tangible if it could take shape and if people could go beyond just sensing it within themselves if they could feel it in a physical way it would feel like my grandmothers hand on their backs" pg.14

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"If my heart were a hand grenade I would have ripped it from my chest and thrown it at them, I wanted to scream as if my lungs were made of paper and I was holding a match to them. I wanted to haunt them." Pg. 7

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"If my heart were a hand grenade I would have ripped it from my chest and thrown it at them, I wanted to scream as if my lungs were made of paper and I was holding a match to them. I wanted to haunt them." Pg. 7

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"I was slightly more involved... so I hadn't noticed that it hadn't taken long for a crowd to gather but finally I saw them standing around us both, like the pillars of some make shift coliseum where children are thrown in for the amusement of others....... it was a testament not only to the completes fucked-ed-ness of my youth but also to the jaw droppingly useless towns folk in whom I existed " pg.3/4

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"I was slightly more involved... so I hadn't noticed that it hadn't taken long for a crowd to gather but finally I saw them standing around us both, like the pillars of some make shift coliseum where children are thrown in for the amusement of others....... it was a testament not only to the completes fucked-ed-ness of my youth but also to the jaw droppingly useless towns folk in whom I existed " pg.3/4

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By: Shane Koyczan