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Fathers, like mothers, are a very diverse group, whose communication needs, styles and preferences may vary according to a range of factors. In this guide we provide some ideas and resources to help you think inclusively in your father-engagement.

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Sometimes it’s only by hearing other people talking in detail about subjects dear to their heart, that we get to value, reflect on and develop new and deeper understandings of our own life’s work.

It’s for that reason that we’ve created a series of 10 podcasts for this toolkit, featuring interviews with researchers, midwives, fathers and experts in father-engagement.

Happy listening!

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The Fatherhood Institute has a range of other resources you may find useful as you progress on your journey towards confident, routine father-engagement.

On our website you can find:

- Becoming Dad guide for fathers, launched in 2021 together with the Mental Health Foundation

- An overview of our training offer, which includes a range of options aimed at midwives and the managers and commissioners who shape maternity services

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Midwives are busy and pushed for time – pursuing a complex, highly skilled vocation, often under difficult circumstances. Time is of the essence, and we hear from both midwives and fathers how vital it is, especially in the antenatal and postnatal period, to make the most of quite brief moments.

We have created the Working together exercise, which you can access here, to illustrate the benefits of seeing and appealing to the strengths of the men you encounter on their journeys into fatherhood, wherever possible.
You could use this resource on your own, or as part of a group discussion with colleagues

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A rationale for father-inclusive maternity services

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A rationale for father-inclusive maternity services

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Here you will find our rationale for father-inclusive maternity services, including summary results from a recent Fatherhood Institute/ Royal College of Midwives survey, designed to gauge midwives’ attitudes towards, and experiences of, father-engagement.

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A rationale for father-inclusive maternity services and practice

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You can also view a visual summary of the results of that survey here

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What midwives say about engaging with fathers

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Maak en publiceer binnen enkele minuten online-enquêtes en bekijk de resultaten in grafische vorm en in real-time. SurveyMonkey biedt gratis onlinesoftware voor vragenlijsten en enquêtes.

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Since humans first walked the earth, fathers have played a central role in ensuring their children’s survival and helping them flourish.

Thanks to a growing evidence base about fathers and fatherhood, we know more than ever about the contributions men make as parents – including those of biological and social fathers, such as stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers.

But what happens to men when they become fathers, and their support needs, have received surprisingly little of our collective attention.

NHS maternity services – the focus of this toolkit – are a space where this oversight is clearly visible, and where it could be successfully tackled.

For this reason, we are hugely grateful to the Royal College of Midwives for supporting us to create this series of resources aimed at helping maternity services and midwives to continue and accelerate progress towards deeper, more systematic effective engagement with fathers and other non-birthing parents.

We hope you will find the resources hosted on this pallet useful, and will refer, reflect and build on them to develop father-inclusive thinking, systems and approaches throughout NHS maternity care.

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Episode 1. The Life of Dad: a whistle-stop tour of human fatherhood

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Episode 1. The Life of Dad: a whistle-stop tour of human fatherhood

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Dr Anna Machin is a world-renowned evolutionary anthropologist, whose pioneering work explores the science and anthropology of fatherhood.

Her book The Life of Dad (Simon & Schuster, June 2018) draws on her decade of research on fathering, at the University of Oxford.

We sat down with Anna to find out about the origins of modern dads, the changes that happen in men’s brains when they become fathers – and why we need a huge cultural shift to improve the support they receive.

Running time 22’54

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The Life of Dad: a whistle-stop tour of human fatherhood

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Dr Anna Machin is a world-renowned evolutionary anthropologist, whose pioneering work explores the science and anthropology of fatherhood. Her book The Life of Dad (Simon & Schuster, June 2018) draws on her decade of research on fathering, at the University of Oxford.

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What does a father-inclusive service look like? We know that the infrastructure and resourcing of maternity services can vary hugely across the NHS, so there is no single model. But if we are serious about improving father-engagement, we need to start somewhere.

With that in mind, we have developed a guide to father-inclusive perinatal pathways, drawing on the current NICE antenatal and postnatal guidelines, and setting out in detail some ways in which fathers could be systematically engaged with and supported throughout the perinatal journey.

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We also present key evidence about Black fathers’ experiences, in this additional PDF.

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Episode 2. What dads need and want in perinatal systems

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Episode 2. What dads need and want in perinatal systems

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Jeszemma Howl is head of training at the Fatherhood Institute, and has many years’ experience of grassroots work with dads, and of father-inclusion training and consultancy with midwives, health visitors and a multitude of other practitioners.

She also undertook a Winston Churchill travelling fellowship, to explore father-inclusive approaches to breastfeeding support from around the world.

In this episode, Jeszemma shares her wisdom about how best to support dads – and, towards the end of the podcast, chooses the one thing she’d change if she could wave a magic wand over NHS maternity services.

Running time 31’38

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Jeszemma Howl is head of training at the Fatherhood Institute, and has many years' experience of grassroots work with dads, and of training and supporting midwives, health visitors and a multitude of other practitioners to work in father-inclusive ways.

She also undertook a Winston Churchill travelling fellowship, to explore father-inclusive approaches to breastfeeding support from around the world.

In this episode, Jeszemma shares her wisdom about how best to support dads - and, towards the end of the podcast, chooses the one thing she'd change if she could wave a magic wand over NHS maternity services.

Find out more about Fatherhood Institute training here.

Read Jeszemma's breastfeeding report here.

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What dads need and want in perinatal systems | Engaging Dads

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Jeszemma Howl is head of training at the Fatherhood Institute, and has many years' experience of grassroots work with dads, and of training and supporting midwives, health visitors and a multitude of other practitioners to work in father-inclusive ways. She also undertook a Winston Churchill travelling fellowship, to explore father-inclusive approaches to breastfeeding support from around the world.

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Please note: The FI and RCM are committed to diversity and inclusion and therefore emphasise and encourage the use of inclusive language. In this toolkit we use the terms ‘father’ and ‘dad’ because the majority of non-birthing parents accessing maternity services identify as men. However, we recognise that this is not always the case. We believe that communication within maternity services should be appropriate, inclusive and sensitive to the needs of all service users, including those individuals whose gender is not the same as the sex they were assigned at birth.

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Episode 3. Stoic and supportive: understanding men’s journeys into fatherhood

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Episode 3. Stoic and supportive: understanding men’s journeys into fatherhood

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Drs Paul Hodkinson and Ranjana Das from the Sociology Department at Surrey University conducted in-depth interviews with 15 fathers, all living with the mother during the perinatal period. The men told them all about their journeys into fatherhood, the challenges they faced, and the role of digital communication at different stages of their experience.

Paul and Ranjana published a book about their research, called New Fathers, Mental Health and Digital Communication, in 2021.

One of the dads, John, summed things up thus: “Nobody talks about you as a dad, what will it be like, what will the new world look like … it’s not so much about the mechanics of looking after a baby, that’s relatively easy to do, feed a bottle, change a nappy … it’s the way you look after yourself.”

In this episode, Ranjana and Paul talk us through their findings about how men cope with becoming fathers, about their use digital communication, and about the role services could play in providing better support.

Running time 30’12

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Drs Paul Hodkinson and Ranjana Das from the Sociology Department at Surrey University conducted in-depth interviews with 15 fathers, all living with the mother during the perinatal period. The men told them all about their journeys into fatherhood, the challenges they faced, and the role of digital communication at different stages of their experience.

Paul and Ranjana published a book about their research, called New Fathers, Mental Health and Digital Communication, in 2021.

One of the dads, John, summed things up thus: "Nobody talks about you as a dad, what will it be like, what will the new world look like ... it's not so much about the mechanics of looking after a baby, that's relatively easy to do, feed a bottle, change a nappy ... it's the way you look after yourself."

In this episode, Ranjana and Paul talk us through their findings about how men cope with becoming fathers, about their use digital communication, and about the role services could play in providing better support.

Check out the book here.

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Stoic and supportive: understanding men's journeys into fatherhood | Engaging Dads

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Drs Paul Hodkinson and Ranjana Das from the Sociology Department at Surrey University conducted in-depth interviews with 15 fathers, all living with the mother during the perinatal period. The men told them all about their journeys into fatherhood, the challenges they faced, and the role of digital communication at different stages of their experience.

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Episode 4. Ask and keep asking: the campaign for better paternal perinatal mental health support

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Episode 4. Ask and keep asking: the campaign for better paternal perinatal mental health support

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This podcast features a group of fathers talking about maternity services – from their own experience, and those of other dads they know and have worked with.

The three men in the room – Mark Williams (Fathers Reaching Out), Scott Mair (PMH Support & Fathers Beacon) and Rob Osman (Dads in Mind) – are all in some way involved in work to support men having difficult journeys into and through early fatherhood. So you’ll hear them talking about sometimes quite dark experiences – anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress from difficult births, and even suicide.

The vast majority of men won’t experience any of these problems. But some do, and what happens to ALL men becoming fathers – especially for the first time – is a profound physical and emotional journey. Sometimes their support needs – and those of their partners – can be substantial.

Running time 41’12

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This podcast features a group of fathers talking about maternity services - from their own experience, and those of other dads they know and have worked with.

The three men in the room - Mark Williams (Fathers Reaching Out), Scott Mair (PMH Support) and Rob Osman (Dads in Mind) - are all in some way involved in work to support men having difficult journeys into and through early fatherhood. So you'll hear them talking about sometimes quite dark experiences - anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress from difficult births, and even suicide.

The vast majority of men won't experience any of these problems. But some do, and what happens to ALL men becoming fathers - especially for the first time - is a profound physical and emotional journey. Sometimes their support needs - and those of their partners - can be substantial.

Visit Mark's website, Fathers Reaching Out

Connect with Scott Mair on Instagram

Visit the Dads in Mind website

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Ask and keep asking: the campaign for better paternal perinatal mental health support | Engaging Dads

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This podcast features a group of fathers talking about maternity services - from their own experience, and those of other dads they know and have worked with. The three men in the room - Mark Williams (Fathers Reaching Out), Scott Mair (PMH Support) and Rob Osman (Dads in Mind) - are all in some way involved in work to support men having difficult journeys into and through early fatherhood.

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Episode 5. The secrets of midwife-father communication during labour and the birth

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Episode 5. The secrets of midwife-father communication during labour and the birth

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Dr Debbie Garrod is a midwife and researcher from Manchester, who employed ethnographic techniques in her PhD to explore how midwives and fathers communicate during labour and birth.

With great skill and attention to detail, Debbie shed light on these life-changing encounters, creating a piece of research that is moving, profound and packed with great insights.

In this podcast she chats about some of her key findings, and makes some recommendations for a shift in midwifery practice.

Running time 40’22

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Dr Debbie Garrod is a midwife and researcher from Manchester, whose PhD used ethnographic techniques to explore how midwives and fathers communicate during labour and birth.

Debbie used great skill and attention to detail to shed light on these life-changing encounters, creating a piece of research that is moving, profound and packed with great insights.

In this podcast she chats about some of her key findings, and makes some recommendations for a shift in midwifery practice.

Download Debbie's PhD thesis here.

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The secrets of midwife-father communication during labour and the birth | Engaging Dads

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Dr Debbie Garrod is a midwife and researcher from Manchester, whose PhD used ethnographic techniques to explore how midwives and fathers communicate during labour and birth. Debbie used great skill and attention to detail to shed light on these life-changing encounters, creating a piece of research that is moving, profound and packed with great insights.

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Episode 6. Dads Shut Out: Could the NHS ‘build back’ better father-support by learning the lessons of the pandemic?

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Episode 6. Dads Shut Out: Could the NHS ‘build back’ better father-support by learning the lessons of the pandemic?

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The Covid-19 restrictions that prevented fathers and other partners accompanying women to antenatal appointments, scans, parts of labour – and in some cases childbirth – and either excluded or severely restricted their access to, postnatal wards – cast a long shadow over NHS maternity services.

We’ve interviewed a range of people involved in studying and campaigning around the restrictions, to build up a picture of how the restrictions impacted on families, and the learning we can take from the experience.

This episode is a conversation between Kathy Jones, the Fatherhood Institute’s head of strategy and joint CEO, and Maria Booker, programmes director at Birthrights. Kathy and Maria worked together during the pandemic, as part of the But Not Maternity Alliance – which, alongside Pregnant Then Screwed and other organisations and individuals – did the vital work of keeping on top of what was happening with maternity restrictions around the country, during the various stages of the pandemic.

Here they share their thoughts on how restrictions might have been handled differently, and how a focus on high quality support for fathers and partners should be baked in to maternity services moving forward.

Running time 27’14

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The Covid-19 restrictions that prevented fathers and other partners accompanying women to antenatal appointments, scans, parts of labour - and in some cases childbirth - and either excluded or severely restricted their access to, postnatal wards - cast a long shadow over NHS maternity services.

We've interviewed a range of people involved in studying and campaigning around the restrictions, to build up a picture of how the restrictions impacted on families, and the learning we can take from the experience.

This episode is a conversation between Kathy Jones, the Fatherhood Institute's head of strategy and joint CEO, and Maria Booker, programmes manager at Birthrights.

Kathy and Maria worked together during the pandemic, as part of the But Not Maternity Alliance - which, alongside Pregnant Then Screwed and other organisations and individuals - did the vital work of keeping on top of what was happening with maternity restrictions around the country, during the various stages of the pandemic.

Here they share their thoughts on how restrictions might have been handled differently, and how a focus on high quality support for fathers and partners should be baked in to maternity services moving forward.

Visit the Birthrights website.

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Dads Shut Out: Could the NHS 'build back' better father-support by learning the lessons of the pandemic? | Engaging Dads

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The Covid-19 restrictions that prevented fathers and other partners accompanying women to antenatal appointments, scans, parts of labour - and in some cases childbirth - and either excluded or severely restricted their access to, postnatal wards - cast a long shadow over NHS maternity services.

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Episode 7. Building father-inclusive approaches: Dad Matters – a commissioned service to support fathers’ bonding and early attachment [Part 1]

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Episode 7. Building father-inclusive approaches: Dad Matters – a commissioned service to support fathers’ bonding and early attachment [Part 1]

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS systems have yet to tackle.

In Greater Manchester, Dad Matters – a Home Start project – has emerged as a commissioned service that focuses on supporting fathers’ bonding and early attachment with their babies.

In this episode – the first of two with Dad Matters’ operations manager Kieran Anders, we hear about how Dad Matters works, how it fits into the perinatal pathway, including in maternity services – and how the project has been commissioned, delivered and evaluated.

Running time 25’27

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS systems have yet to tackle.

In Greater Manchester, Dad Matters - a Home Start project - has emerged as a commissioned service that focuses on supporting fathers' bonding and early attachment with their babies.

In this episode - the first of two with Dad Matters' operations manager Kieran Anders, we hear about how Dad Matters works, how it fits into the perinatal pathway, including in maternity services - and how the project has been commissioned, delivered and evaluated.

Visit the Dad Matters website.

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Building father-inclusive approaches: Dad Matters - a commissioned service to support fathers' bonding and early attachment. Pt 1 | Engaging Dads

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS systems have yet to tackle. In Greater Manchester, Dad Matters - a Home Start project - has emerged as a commissioned service that focuses on supporting fathers' bonding and early attachment with their babies.

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Episode 8. Building father-inclusive approaches: Dad Matters – a commissioned service to support fathers’ bonding and early attachment [Part 2]

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Episode 8. Building father-inclusive approaches: Dad Matters – a commissioned service to support fathers’ bonding and early attachment [Part 2]

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS systems have yet to tackle.

In Greater Manchester, Dad Matters – a Home Start project – has emerged as a commissioned service that focuses on supporting fathers’ bonding and early attachment with their babies.

In the second of two episodes looking in-depth at the Dads Matter model, we chat more about what Kieran sees as the success factors behind the service – and about the challenges of developing high quality services for dads, within a system that generally positions fathers as outsiders.

Running time 22’11

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS systems have yet to tackle.

In Greater Manchester, Dad Matters - a Home Start project - has emerged as a commissioned service that focuses on supporting fathers' bonding and early attachment with their babies.

In the second of two episodes looking in-depth at the Dads Matter model, we chat more about what Kieran sees as the success factors behind the service - and about the challenges of developing high quality services for dads, within a system that generally positions fathers as outsiders.

Visit the Dad Matters website.

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Building father-inclusive approaches: Dad Matters - a commissioned service to support fathers' bonding and early attachment. Pt 2 | Engaging Dads

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS systems have yet to tackle. In Greater Manchester, Dad Matters - a Home Start project - has emerged as a commissioned service that focuses on supporting fathers' bonding and early attachment with their babies.

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Episode 9. Building father-inclusive approaches: Are you sitting comfortably? Making space for dads in maternity wards, to improve service quality and infant bonding [Part 1]

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Episode 9. Building father-inclusive approaches: Are you sitting comfortably? Making space for dads in maternity wards, to improve service quality and infant bonding [Part 1]

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS commissioning bodies have yet to tackle.

In Nottingham, consultant midwife Lisa Common has been leading a project to provide reclining chairs, and information packs, for fathers and other partners in maternity wards across the city.

In this, the first of two episodes about Lisa’s work, we hear how she’s gone about changing the way maternity services welcome dads into the physical space of maternity services – and the impact this has started to have on families’ experiences, and on how midwives support parent-infant bonding.

Running time 26’30

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS commissioning bodies have yet to tackle.

In Nottingham, consultant midwife Lisa Common has been leading a project to provide reclining chairs, and information packs, for fathers and other partners in maternity wards across the city.

In this, the first of two episodes about Lisa's work, we hear how she's gone about changing the way maternity services welcome dads into the physical space of maternity services - and the impact this has started to have on families' experiences, and on how midwives support parent-infant bonding.

Connect with Lisa on Twitter.

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Building father-inclusive approaches: Are you sitting comfortably? Making space for dads in maternity wards, to improve service quality and infant bonding. Pt 1 | Engaging Dads

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS commissioning bodies have yet to tackle. In Nottingham, consultant midwife Lisa Common has been leading a project to provide reclining chairs, and information packs, for fathers and other partners in maternity wards across the city.

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Episode 10. Building father-inclusive approaches: Are you sitting comfortably? Making space for dads in maternity wards, to improve service quality and infant bonding [Part 2]

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Episode 10. Building father-inclusive approaches: Are you sitting comfortably? Making space for dads in maternity wards, to improve service quality and infant bonding [Part 2]

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS commissioning bodies have yet to tackle.

In Nottingham, consultant midwife Lisa Common has been leading a project to provide reclining chairs, and information packs, for fathers and other partners in maternity wards across the city.

In this second episode about the project, we hear more about the teething problems and practicalities of allowing overnight stays on the maternity wards.

Running time 27’42

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS commissioning bodies have yet to tackle.

In Nottingham, consultant midwife Lisa Common has been leading a project to provide reclining chairs, and information packs, for fathers and other partners in maternity wards across the city.

In this second episode about the project, we hear more about the teething problems and practicalities of allowing overnight stays on the maternity wards.

Connect with Lisa on Twitter.

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Building father-inclusive approaches: Are you sitting comfortably? Making space for dads in maternity wards, to improve service quality and infant bonding. Pt 2 | Engaging Dads

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Redesigning perinatal services to be father-inclusive can be a major task: one that most NHS commissioning bodies have yet to tackle. In Nottingham, consultant midwife Lisa Common has been leading a project to provide reclining chairs, and information packs, for fathers and other partners in maternity wards across the city.

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Why fathers matter in the perinatal period: a research summary

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Why fathers matter in the perinatal period: a research summary

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To support the rationale, we provide here a brief summary of what research evidence tells us about fathers’ importance and impact in the perinatal period – confirming how crucial this time is for their children and their children’s mothers, as well as for their own happiness and sense of wellbeing.

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Video: how to include fathers in maternity services

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Video: how to include fathers in maternity services

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In this short video, Elliott Rae, founder of the Music Football Fatherhood website, shares some ideas about including fathers in maternity services.

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Feel free to use this flyer to promote our Becoming Dad guide to fathers

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Feel free to use this poster to promote our Becoming Dad guide to fathers