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"In these early months, babies need to develop a balance between trust, which lets them form intimate relationships, and mistrust, which enables them to protect themselves. If trust predominates, as it should, children develop hope: the belief they can fulfill their needs and obtain their desires. If mistrust predominates, children will view the world as unfriendly and unpredictable and will have trouble forming quality relationships." (Martorell 2023 p. 150). As an infant, I was properly cared for and loved. I was breast fed and my older brothers would take turns feeding me as I grew.

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"Having come through infancy with a sense of basic trust in the world and an awaking self-awareness, toddlers begin to substitute their own judgement for their caregivers'. The strength that emerges during this stage is will. As children are better able to make their wishes understood, they become more powerful and independent." Martorell p. 156). I was a rambunctious toddler; I would get into cabinets and climb out of my crib to play with my siblings.

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"This conflict marks a split between two parts of a personality: the part that remains a child, full of exuberance and a desire to test new powers, and the part that is becoming an adult, constantly examining the propriety of motives and actions. Children who learn how to regulate these opposing drives develop the virtue of purpose, the courage to envision and pursue goals without being unduly inhibited by guilt or fear of punishment." (Martorello p. 210). I was deeply conflicted at this age. I was placed in foster care at the age of five until I was seven and learned the dangers of grownups, especially men. In ways I had to let go of my childhood and learn to fend for myself at an early age.

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"According to Erikson (1998), a major determinant of self-esteem is children's view of their capacity for productive work, which develops in his fourth stage of psychosocial development-: industry vs inferiority. As with all of Erikson's stages, there is an opportunity for growth. Represented by a sense of industry and a complementary risk represented by inferiority." (Martorello p. 275). At the age of twelve (in the beginning stages of puberty) my aunt took her life. At thirteen my father took his life. At fourteen my best friend took her life. These actions caused a downfall in my self-esteem. I didn't feel like a good enough person anymore. My grades fell, I emotionally lashed out and eventually dropped out of high school all together.

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"Erikson's fifth stage psychosocial development in which an adolescent seeks to develop a coherent sense of self, including the role he or she is to play in society." (Martorello p. 336). Five weeks after my eighteenth birthday, I discovered I was pregnant. I had just left my boyfriend in order to figure out who I was. I had grown from my trauma. I decided i wanted to keep the child and stay with my partner. i was upset that I was pregnant but did my best to look on the bright side. When I gave birth, there were complications. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I had to come to terms with having a child I wasn't ready to have, the loss of ever having another child, and how to cope with being a mother in the face of my trauma.

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"Person seeks to make commitments to others or may suffer from isolation and self-absorption." Martorello p.11). Although I have yet to reach this stage, my hopes and dreams are in the midst of being accomplished. I will have completed college, gotten a job at a school willing to listen to their students. I will be a published author, I will be married, and I will have fostered and adopted at least three children.

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" A mature adult is concerned with establishing and guiding the next generation or else feels personal impoverishment." (Martorello p. 11). At this stage in my life my children will have had babies of their own. I will have been a teacher for at least twenty years and possibly became a motivational speaker that traveled across the country. I will have touched lives and made a difference.

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"Elderly person achieves acceptance of own life, allowing acceptance of death, or else despairs over inability to relive life." (Martorello p. 11). One day I will die, and I will be happy. I will have a family I made and a life I enjoyed. My daughter will hold me and speak of her children and her children's children and how wonderful and happy she is. My husband will have passed first, and I will be okay with that. My mother will be gone, my siblings might be to but I will have created a legacy of love and hope that lasts.

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Martorell, G. (2023). Child, 3rd edition. McGraw Hill