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Sine's Reflections on Designs for Belonging

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Sine's Reflections on Designs for Belonging

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Something that has created highs for me in belonging is inclusion; and the opposite, exclusion, has created lows for me in belonging. Even if I might not want to participate in something, simply being asked makes all the difference for me in feeling like I belong.

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For me the pandemic was a space and time where I experienced extreme highs and lows of belonging and othering. These highs and lows varied by individual relationships not as a group. For instance, family didn't necessarily indicate belonging and strangers didn't necessarily impose othering. These highs and lows with explicit othering made it very difficult to navigate where I was safe and where I didn't belong both professionally and personally. Thankfully, for those that knew me or took the time to know me, they always made me feel as though I belonged. These feelings of belonging were possible because they didn't assume, didn't judge - they met me where I was. Everyone has a story to tell - they took the the time to listen.

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Design for Belonging exercise (Cherrelle)

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Design for Belonging exercise (Cherrelle)

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High belonging experiences which are attributed to the safest that I've felt in a professional environment. I feel like I can fully lean into the work that I'm doing and be creative, without fear of failure instead of trying to do everything "right" and not make any mistakes, which is not possible:

-working in an environment where I am respected for my talents and have the freedom to succeed and fail- failure is not seen as a flaw, but a learning opportunity

-having the freedom to be my full self

-Feeling energized about the work I do, what I bring to that work, and collaborating with others to see the work through to completion

Low belonging experiences, I feel like I experienced explicit othering, and it deeply impacted my mental health. I was so driven to prove myself that I stayed in this environment much longer than I should have.

-Lack of grace for mistakes

-Quiet and introversion being viewed as a weakness, not seen as a quality for leadership

-Assumptions about my competency/abilities

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Reflecting on the exercise from Design for Belonging by Susie Wise, I’ve experienced both strong feelings of belonging and moments of subtle exclusion in professional and academic settings. One of my most positive experiences was working on a professional team that intentionally fostered connection through weekly check-ins, rotating leadership roles, and celebrating achievements, which made every member feel heard and valued. In contrast, I recall an academic group project where important decisions were made in private conversations, leaving me out not through explicit exclusion, but through quieter patterns that signaled my input wasn’t valued. These experiences have shown me that belonging rarely happens by chance; it comes from intentional design of rituals, roles, and systems, while their absence can cause even subtle forms of othering to take hold.

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This is such a valuable reflection to consider... I see myself somewhere in the middle of the spectrum when it comes to how I show up in spaces, if I were to categorize it based on theory.

I grew up in a household where my Black identity wasn't the main focus; it was just one part of who I am, not the whole picture. This has influenced how I've experienced belonging. Intersectionality plays a significant role in how I feel belonging in the workplace and academic settings.

High points:

- Remembering the pronunciation of my name, or asking how to pronounce it instead of assuming it’s what I think it is.

- Mentioning anniversaries or important dates (such as being a new employee or one year in a role).

- Being thoughtful and considerate about experiences that might be labeled as discriminatory.

- Exploring different perspectives openly, without dismissiveness or defensiveness.

Low points:

- Constantly being labeled as "young," which sometimes implies I am incompetent.

- Micromanagement makes me feel like I don’t belong; it signals a lack of trust and support for my ability to excel.

- Being called out in group settings or passively instead of addressing issues directly.

- Being singled out as the "token Black person" to provide perspective during racially charged conversations...

- Immediately dismissing any notion that someone is "being discriminatory."

- Sometimes, the "customers or students always right" approach is difficult, as it can diminish the value of the individual trying to work through an issue.

I am sure there are many other highs and lows I've experienced, but these are just a few that have come to mind.

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I'll highlight some experiences from a previous workplace:

For highs, it was incredible to come into a workplace where the policy and systems work of using and sharing pronouns was already implemented. I had never had that experience before (and haven't replicated it since!). Even though I still had to do lots of self-advocacy around getting coworkers to actually use my pronouns, the fact that the infrastructure was already there was so welcoming!

For lows, a feeling of othering happened quite early on at that job when a coworker in communications came to do a photoshoot of my unit and told me I couldn't participate after all unless I took off my respirator because "the president hates masks." This was a surprisingly explicit instance of ableism that the coworker doubled down on when I gently pushed back, because even if a person covered their face for "legitimate reasons" the president wouldn't permit the photos to be used to market the institution. Without actually being codified into institutional policy, the directive functioned as an novel "Ugly Law" that keeps disabled people out of the line of sight of the public.

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Context | Relator | Adaptability | Developer | Empathy

Idk how accurate these results are, because a lot of the pairs were false dichotomies and I answered "indifferent" to most of the questions lol.

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Mostly, I haven't had to measure extremes in either direction; for this I am grateful, I suppose. I have been keenly aware of spaces that have been more or less welcoming in ways that have I've measured with an openness to be much more focused on the grand middle 80% and to be much less focused on the 10% on either side of outlier status as a way to avoid extremes. In so doing, I am able to reflect that in nearly every space I encounter, I am able to focus on the majority in ways that I can provide and receive a wide level of positive stimulation and results.

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Highs in the workplace:

Being offered a seat at the table - on committees, in meetings, etc. And when you show up, having others express that they want to hear from you.

Acknowledgement from supervisors and colleagues that we are individuals with multiple identities. We are not just a worker but have many other roles outside of the workplace that can directly or indirectly affect us at work. This should be valued and celebrated, not something we should feel we have to hide.

Lows in the workplace:

Hearing about updates, changes, etc. through unofficial means (such as from colleagues) as opposed to being told directly from a supervisor or someone above. This can make one feel "forgotten" or "less than" those that were "in the know."

Having those with the "loudest" voices always being the ones heard and acknowledged. Some individuals need more time to process and formulate their thoughts. Some want to listen to others first before responding. Listening and reflecting is just as important (maybe more so) than being the first to speak up.

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After reading the beginning of Design for Belonging, and mapping out my emotional journey of belonging and othering, I challenged myself to dig deep and be vulnerable with my thoughts and feelings. I realize that who I am today is a reflection of every example of belonging or othering that occurred throughout my life, and for those experiences, I am truly grateful. I do my best to live presently and grow from all of my past experiences. Focusing on the present has allowed me to stay strong in my beliefs and values and focus on what is most important to me. It has also allowed me the freedom to show up for others, which holds equal weight for me. If I can be a conduit for belonging and inclusivity, I feel most fulfilled.

High belonging experiences in professional settings:

• Being challenged every day and doing work that positively contributes to a greater cause.

• Having the freedom and flexibility to join the DEI Council, as an example, to foster inclusivity and belonging for the campus community.

• Being included on team discussions when appropriate; not just the note taker.

Low belonging experiences in the workplace:

• Being told that I had to dress a certain way (more feminine) on day 2 of work by the owner of a business I previously worked for.

• Not being included on certain team meetings at previous workplaces because I was, "just the admin", despite having a great understanding and knowledge of the company, its mission, and its products.

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Emotional Journey in Academic Spaces (PK)

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Emotional Journey in Academic Spaces (PK)

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During my time in higher education, I experienced both belonging and othering in professional spaces. I felt a strong sense of belonging when I was mentored early in my career, encouraged to go up for tenure, and later entrusted with administrative responsibilities. My dean, provost, and other senior leaders consistently supported and affirmed my abilities, which made me feel valued and confident in my contributions.

At the same time, I also encountered othering, often tied to gender bias and peer resistance. Even when senior leaders believed in my leadership, some colleagues dismissed or undermined my work. These experiences revealed how bias and power structures shape who is seen as belonging. Mapping my journey reminded me that belonging is not fixed. It shifts with mentorship, leadership, and institutional structures. Even in difficult moments, encouragement from mentors and leaders sustained my resilience.

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I had an easier time of thinking of social examples for this exercise, but I am sure there are professional and academic examples as well.

At a previous college I worker for, the president held "Coffee with the President" every quarter and everyone was strongly encouraged to attend. These events were low belonging experiences for me. I don't drink coffee or tea, and small talk makes me extremely uncomfortable. I would go and stand around awkwardly, while the President would make remarks and every time would "encourage" people to participate and embrace these opportunities, but it always felt like those of us who were uncomfortable were being berated for not playing along.

For a high belonging experience, I was working for a non-profit organization that was making office reassignments. The plan from the top was to move my desk from a cubicle, into the server closet (!). I guess this could be an example of both low and high belonging, because I am not sure if I have ever felt so invisible as an employee than when it was suggested I work out of the server closet. However, my boss stood up for me before I could say anything and said absolutely not, that this was not even a conversation or a consideration. I felt protected and valued.