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Emotional Identification: Why It’s Just as Important for Adults — Resolve

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To be able to connect our inner experience with our body’s physical sensations, label what the blend of this is, and respond effectively is one of the most powerful skills any individual can learn, I believe. On the other hand, it may be one of the rarest and hardest skills that many of us have neve

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Emotions affect more than you may realize - motivation, learning, decision making, connection, and so much more.

There are many times, often during periods of great challenges, that emotions can feel more like a burden than a blessing.

But emotions can be powerful.

They can help you survive, grow, and connect with others. And they can guide your decisions, behaviors, and motivations.

As babies, emotions are how you learn to communicate, even before you can talk.

While intense emotions can feel like a lot, without them, life can feel bland, muted, and empty. Emotions are an integral part of being human.

Emotions don't always get the reputation that they deserve.

When you do show emotions, some people may see it as a sign of weakness. When you show too much emotion, people may criticize you for being "too emotional."

But emotions can play a role in many aspects of life including:

growth and development

survival

higher levels of awareness

attention

motivation

learning and memory

decision making and problem solving

guiding behaviors

connection and attachment to others

overall well-being

"Emotions matter because they typically dictate what will come next from us," says Chelsea Viñas, licensed marriage and family therapist, owner of Therapize, a virtual private practice working with women in leadership on impostor syndrome, perfectionism, and trauma.

"How you feel about an event will usually lead to your behavior," Viñas adds.

You can think about a time when you felt burned out and disappointed versus one where you felt excited and happy. Your entire day - including your behaviors, how you felt physically and mentally, and your attention - could all be affected by your emotions.

What does the research say about the importance of emotions?

A small 2014 study suggested that emotions can influence how we think, make decisions, and solve problems, especially with thinking tasks.

In a 2021 research review, researchers explained how emotions are a way humans evolved to address problems in a constantly changing world. They helped us develop abilities to find food, water, shelter, sexual mates, support, and stay safe from dangers.

Emotions may also strongly affect our attention and memory, according to a 2017 review. When we have strong emotions or emotional events, we will often pay attention in more detail and remember things more clearly, for longer. This could be why traumatic events stick with us so vividly.

Even negative emotions matter. They've helped us survive as a species by focusing our attention on danger and readying the body for a response. Fear urges us to fight or flee, anger tells us to attack, and guilt may teach us to learn from our mistakes.

While no one wants to be sad or angry, negative emotions are still important. They're also at the core of many mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety, so it's crucial to address and regulate them.

You will always feel emotions, even if you don't understand them, address them, or accept them. But it helps when you do.

In cultures or societies where people are told that being "too emotional" is a bad thing, it can be difficult to express what you're feeling.

Viñas says that people also often judge their own emotions: I shouldn't be crying. I can't believe this still bothers me.

"When you're able to recognize your emotion for what it is - a piece of information at that moment in time in your life - then you can begin to move forward," she explains.

Repressing emotions can also negatively affect your mental well-being, not to mention your relationships, communication skills, stress levels, and more.

"We're wired for connection, and to not express ourselves is going against our biology," Viñas says.

Giving yourself permission to feel - really feel - is an incredibly powerful thing. And it can help you get better at regulating and accepting your emotions.

What happens when you don't accept your emotions?

"When we don't accept our emotions it could lead to long-term pain, making decisions that aren't necessarily in our best interest, or externalizing negative feelings," Viñas says.

When you don't accept your emotions, it can make it harder to even accept yourself.

A suggested that when people practice acceptance, they have better psychological well-being. When you accept things as they are, you're less likely to react first and think later. This may lead to you experiencing less negative emotions overall when you're stressed.

Viñas says that not accepting your emotions does have one "positive": You stay in your comfort zone. "[But] there is no room for growth, love, or healing without accepting your emotions as they are," she says.

When you start to accept your emotions, you may just start to feel more at peace and in control.

Getting in touch with your emotions can help with emotional regulation. Regulating your emotions involves being able to recognize, manage, and respond to emotions as they come.

"Learning how your emotions impact you and then being able to regulate them can increase self-esteem [and] confidence, and lead to a more fulfilling life," according to Viñas.

She offers five tips for getting in touch with your emotions:

Write out your feelings

You can journal or just jot it down on your phone, but Viñas recommends taking a moment to write down the emotion - negative, positive, or somewhere in between - and why it affected you.

"This way, you can learn more about yourself and express yourself to others with ease," she says.

Check-in with your mental health daily

Writing what you're feeling can be part of a daily mental health check-in, which can help you understand yourself and what you're feeling better.

You can start checking in with yourself by simply making a habit of asking yourself: How am I doing today?

And if you're not doing well? Viñas says to "be curious about that emotion instead of judging it."

Beating yourself up about feeling sad or angry may only set the stage for you to feel bad for the rest of the day.

Lean in and accept your emotions

"If you're feeling sad, allow yourself to cry instead of holding back tears," Viñas says. "If you're feeling happy, smile and let others know. The sooner you acknowledge the feeling, the sooner you can move through it."

Shift negative thoughts and emotions

"The way we think leads to how we will feel, and ultimately, how we will act," Viñas says.

You can't wave a magic wand and change your negative thoughts to positive ones, but you can take steps to recognize, acknowledge, and move on from negative narratives.

One of those steps is changing what information you're surrounding yourself with.

"If we fill our mind up with poor thoughts, it can impact how we feel and then how we will treat ourselves and others," she says. She recommends checking out podcasts, books, and YouTube videos that have positive messages or you can relate to in some way.

"This can help increase our ability to feel better about ourselves," she adds.

Reach out when needed

"Although everyone responds differently to difficult events, it ultimately becomes unsustainable to withhold everything you are feeling," Viñas says. "When we begin talking about our feelings to others, we develop a sense of emotional intimacy."

She adds that emotional intimacy can also decrease loneliness and lower negative feelings in general because you're able to vent them.

If you're in a relationship, she says that expressing your feelings can give you the opportunity for closeness. "However, to withhold your feelings could mean creating distance, assumptions, and lead to negative feelings," she says.

Talking with a mental health professional can really help you get in touch with your emotions - especially if you're finding this difficult on your own or with friends or family members.

"This can be extremely insightful for you to investigate where your feelings are coming from in a personalized way with a professional who cares," Viñas says.

If you need help finding a therapist, Psych Central has a guide for that.

A 2018 study found that when people believe their emotions are out of their control, this belief could actually act as a contributing factor to depression.

Viñas adds that when we don't care for our mental health, it can lead to a lot of physical health concerns, too.

If you feel like you have no control over your emotions, it's OK to reach out for support. A mental health professional can offer you a safe space to talk about your emotions and why they're making you feel so out of control.

Emotions are a part of being human and one way our body can communicate with us.

"Our bodies have a fascinating way of letting us know its boundaries if we're brave enough to listen," Viñas says.

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Why do emotions matter? They play a role in everything from our survival to connecting with others. Here's how important emotions are.

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I’m recovering from migraine yesterday without meds. Eyes hurt.

I am burned out at work, but I’m enjoying seeing progress with certain students this year. My personal life is supportive and busy with two of my kiddos with track schedules to juggle. I am really looking forward to intentional family time this summer!

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Feeling good

Burnt out, excited for summer

Depends on the day

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Anastasia Addington Hillis Elementary School 

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Anastasia Addington Hillis Elementary School 

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I am feeling relaxed and happy

I love my job, working with 2nd time goes by quickly and fun.

My personal life is awesome

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Julia jones King Elementary

I’m feeling pretty good today. Love my job. Stressed some days, staff reactions to students not students. Home is a nonstop hot mess right now but I wouldn’t change a thing. Summer will be a good time to breath a little

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Feeling tired but ready to brave the day. Love my job and I'm not sure I even have a personal life

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I'm wanting to know more unique techniques to help students be more willing to work, work through struggles in class .to get better grades. Feel better about themselves.

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I am feeling wonderful. I love my job because I love to help the kids. I am feeling wonderful about my life. As soon as I graduate from Grandview in the fall, I will be able to help our students more effectively.

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1. Feeling good...no dark thoughts of dread so far today!

2. Enjoying the work; working with the students I have is familiar work and I feel that I connect easily with them.

3. It's a combination of mountainous highs and devastating lows but not too bad?

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Today I am feeling tired, it's rainy stormy napping weather.

For work, I am feeling like it's the time of year where kids are tired of us, we're tired of the kids, adults are tired of eachother...it's time for summer break.

Personal life is decent, no major complaints as of this current moment in time.

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I am tired today. I'm glad it's Friday.

I am burnt out. I am ready for a break. I love this job some days, & other days this job is really hard.

I am working on things I have been avoiding for a while, when it comes to my mental health & life. I am trying to become a better version of myself, one that I love.

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I feel good about my job and my life right now. Some days I feel burnt out. I'm a working single mom and really wish I was on the beach laying in the sun right now, and probably for the rest of forever.

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Today I feel good blessed.

How I feel about my job I love it although sometimes it’s very stressful.

My personal life is amazing blessed to have everyone and everything I do.

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I am feeling very blessed for God waking me up for another day. Very grateful.

I absolutely love this job, the staff, and the kids. The days can be challenging, but in the end it’s worth it.

My personal life….. really kind of don’t have one. Work everyday of the week. Leave my ft job then go to my pt job. I do love my pt job as well. When I have my son, I make the best of it.

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Jannette Hamilton King Elementary School 

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Jannette Hamilton King Elementary School 

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I'm feeling wonderful today and Bless. I feel good about my job I love the students my teacher I work with and my peers.

My life is good bless.

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Excellent conversation. It was nice to speak with others about core techniques and strategies.

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Excellent conversation. It was nice to speak with others about core techniques and strategies.

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This session was very helpful to me. Thank you so much for the helpful information.

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Understanding many kids have so many different emotions and why is this child acting out the way they are. There is a reason behind their behavior.

I try to be on their level and give them the attention they need.

This was a very informational course and I learned a lot. Thank you!!!

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To not take things personally and that often times students are seeking attention or ways to escape

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To not take things personally and that often times students are seeking attention or ways to escape

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I feel I can support most students but still struggle with knowing what to do with a few of them

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Hearing different strategies to help our kids. Getting to the real meaning of what’s behind the behavior. One thing to take away is listen to the tone, not words.

Chris did a great job! Very personal

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Good refresher for functions of behaviors.

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How to help emotional flare ups. Compare a b don't blame myself.

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My biggest takeaway was not to have deficit thinking. When you have a deficit mindset you're always looking for the negatives. We need to always be looking for the skills have versus the skills they don’t.

I have a clearer understanding of the function of the prefrontal cortex that does not fully develop until 25. This information greatly helps me to understand the behaviors of our students.

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I took away how to talk to kids and strategies on trying to calm them down not getting mad at them and think of the reason why they’re doing it.

I should feel good that they can feel that there’s someone there for them.

This session was super helpful.

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I got information. About a b how to handle situations. Greatntraing Krus and Lyond

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I really took a lot from this training. I am going to work on not letting the behaviors wear me down. I have more understanding of why they do the things they do.

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I took alot from this class how to unstand a student behavior and how to handle it.

I feel good because they trust me in helping them.

I would like to know more about the behavior problem.

This class was great Thank you Krys Rankin.