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An emotional support animal (ESA) is any animal that provides comfort to a person with a disability through companionship. Most ESAs are commonly kept domestic animals such as dogs and cats, however, they can also be any species as long as they support a disability-related need.

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Thinkwell is an employment assistance programme provided to many Staffordshire County Council workers.

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Whether you have a question about your mental health, want to share your own tips and advice, or just have a general chat about your day. Quickchat allows online conversations between members.
Discussion forums
Find helpful information and discuss topics which matter to you in our friendly discussion forums.
Information, videos & support contacts
From wellbeing videos to budget planning tools, our information hub contains a variety of useful resources to help you manage your mental health.

Tune in for live discussions with experts to discuss mental health, lifestyle and wellbeing.

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Clic - Free online community supporting everyone with their mental health

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Join us today and connect with others for mutual support, share your thoughts and find helpful information.

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Papyrus UK Suicide Prevention | Prevention of Young Suicide

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PAPYRUS UK is a charity for the prevention of young suicide (under 35) in the UK | Call PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 on 0800 068 4141 Now

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How to not need a holiday after the holidays

The holidays can be a stressful time for single parents, Natalie is a volunteer in our Wellbeing Digital Group and recently held an online workshop where she shared her 'go to' tools for managing the...

Read more

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We are Gingerbread, the charity for single parent families. We provide expert advice and practical support for single mums and dads in England and Wales.

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Practical information for parents who are sharing care, those who are caring for their children alone and those who are not able to spend time with their children. Parents, carers, grandparents or anyone else with concerns about family separation are welcome.

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Practical information for parents who are sharing care, those who are caring for their children alone and those who are not able to spend time with their children. Parents, carers, grandparents or anyone else with concerns about family separation are welcome.

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Welcome to the Health Visiting and School Nursing services for Staffordshire and Stoke-on-Trent.

Our Health Visitors and School Nurses are qualified nurses or midwives who have completed extra training, including child development and health improvement, to become Specialist Community Public Health Nurses.

Our Health Visiting and School Nursing teams are here to support parents, carers and young people to be healthy. We provide advice and support right through from pregnancy up until a child is 19. All families will be offered a number of routine contacts, plus extra visits where needed.

You can find lots of useful information and how to contact us here. Please see the links below for more details on the services provided in your area.

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Health Visiting and School Nursing :: Midlands Partnership Foundation Trust

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Welcome to the Health Visiting and School Nursing services for Staffordshire and Stoke-on-Trent. Our Health Visitors and School Nurses are qualified nurses or midwives who have completed extra training, including child development and health improvement, to become Specialist Community Public Health Nurses.

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Family Action, Building Stronger Families

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Whatever shape your family, whatever you’re going through, we’re here for you at every age and stage of life. We are Family Action.

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New Era is the holistic Domestic Abuse (DA) service operating across Staffordshire and Stoke on Trent.

Offering help to all those affected by domestic abuse in Staffordshire or Stoke-on-Trent, New Era provides free and confidential support for victims, perpetrators and their families.

What is Domestic Abuse?

It takes many forms, is never acceptable and includes psychological, emotional, physical, financial, sexual and verbal abuse. If you're suffering domestic abuse, you're likely to feel isolated, hurt, upset and scared.

Domestic abuse includes any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality.

This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse:

Coercive control

Psychological and/or emotional abuse

Physical abuse

Sexual abuse

Financial abuse

Harassment

Stalking

Online or digital abuse

Support for Victims

24-hours a day, 7-days a week, specialised help is available for all victims when they need it most. The service also provides a live chat facility.

New Era aims to end relationship abuse through a wide range of individual and group support for adults, children and young people for as long as they need it.

Local Support

Specially trained New Era staff are able to help you, whether you've made a report to the police or not. Operating right here across Staffordshire and Stoke-on-Trent, victim services are provded by Victim Support and are available for everyone, with safety and recovery prioritised.

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New Era (Staffordshire and Stoke on Trent) - Victim Support

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New Era is the holistic Domestic Abuse (DA) service operating across Staffordshire and Stoke on Trent. Offering help to all those affected by domestic abuse in Staffordshire or Stoke-on-Trent, New Era provides free and confidential support for victims, perpetrators and their families.

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A letter from our founder

Dear Parent,

I see you; I know you're there; I know the despair, the hurt and upset you are feeling. I know the feeling of blame, the guilt and the constant searching for answers and reasons. I know the sleepless nights, the worry about keeping your family safe, the struggle of trying to hold down employment. I know the looks and comments you get from family, friends and professionals, the tug you feel in your heart. I know that horrific pain that is running through you. I know how you hate yourself when you have thoughts of asking services for help or even to have your child placed with them. I know the failing you feel and how you are trying to survive each day without incident or trauma. I know you feel so isolated and alone even if you do have support around you. I know you're doing the best you can in a situation where you have nowhere to turn. I know this is not your fault and that you are not to blame.

How do I know this? Because I was you. I was being abused by my child. I had all of those feelings and more. Accepting my child's behaviour was abusive was not easy or something I even wanted to consider, but this was the reality. Things will not always be this tough, things can improve and you as a family will find a safe way that works for you.

Right now, you may feel that nobody understands and that your situation is beyond help or support. I promise you it is not. You are not alone. I hear you. I will listen, help and act alongside you if needed.

PEGS was started to help those going through similar situations of extreme difficulty and worry.

PEGS is here for you, created out of trauma but going forward with love, passion and determination to see change.

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Child to parent abuse | Parental Education Growth Support (PEGS)

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PEGS has been set up to support both parents and professionals deal with the issues associated with child-to-parent abuse. Supporting parents and professionals with child to parent abuse. Learn More

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"Over the next 50 days, we need to raise £500,000 to ensure we can keep our services running for years to come." Lucy Harmer, CEO

Find out more

How are you feeling today?

Get tailored advice and information

Run, walk, cycle, swim or even roller-skate 149 km in a month and pledge to raise £149 to support grieving people.

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Grief can be overwhelming - you don't have to deal with it alone. Cruse Bereavement Support is here. Call our helpline or chat online.

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The Zero Suicide Alliance (ZSA) aims to empower, educate, and equip individuals and organisations to support suicide awareness and prevention. We offer free online suicide awareness and prevention training and resources.

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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charity providing signposting to bereavement support uk wide

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AtaLoss.org is the UK's signposting and information website for bereaved people

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Find support services, information, helplines and resources to help you and family members at any stage in your bereavement. Easy to use filters tailor results to suit your needs and circumstances, location and age. Over 1400 listings including free and paid for services.

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Teenage Helpline | Bringing Young People Together

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Young people
Here for you 24/7, you can talk to our caring mentors about any challenges, from mental health to life's difficulties. If you're not ready to talk just yet, check out the resources available to you on our website.
I am a young person

Parents or carers
We understand that it may be unsettling to find out that your child has contacted us. We are here to help prioritise your child's safety and provide support. Read more on the steps that we take to keep your child safe.
I am a parent or carer

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Want Someone To Talk To? No matter what you're going through, remember that brighter days are ahead. Connect with our team of caring peer mentors today for support and guidance about any problems that you may be facing.

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery."

Max

"If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive"

Abi

Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm. Each course has up to 14 young people, all accessing the sessions from their own phones, tablets or laptops across the UK. The courses take place on different evenings of the week and are run by friendly, trained counsellors and volunteer youth workers. You don't need an adult to refer you or sign you up, and no-one will see or hear you during the sessions - you'll just join in via the chatbox. We want to help you to find your next steps towards recovery, wherever you are on your journey.

IS ALUMINA RIGHT FOR ME?

Are you...

10-17 years old?

Living in the UK?

Someone who self-harms or worries they might?

Looking for support but not wanting to do it face to face?

Wanting to move towards a life free from self-harm?

If so...

Alumina could be a helpful step forward. If you sign up we'll begin a conversation over email to work out if it might be a good fit - and you can ask us any questions you have. The only rule we have in Alumina is that we don't talk about suicide in the groups. If that's something you are struggling with thinking about we recommend getting in touch with our friends at Papyrus who are better equipped to support you.

"I thought it would be all serious and uncomfortable because of the self-harm talk but actually, the staff have made me laugh, we've been given a space that feels relevant to our ages and most importantly we can turn up in any mood and they'll be there for us." Runa

What's a session like?

"Clicking on the link for the first time was nerve wracking and intense with lots of thoughts going through my head. But within only a few minutes of the session I had a smile on my face and felt comfortable with the staff and the group."

Sasha

"Alumina was quite different to what I expected, I thought it would just be an intense 6 weeks and it would be over like other services. But it was nothing like that - instead I felt and still feel very supported by the staff. The group and staff are like a big family who's always there for me."

Samara

"Clicking that link for the very first time was terrifying. But I knew it could be life-changing. The first session I felt welcome, I no longer felt like an outsider. It's fun, believe me!! Most days I find myself looking forward to the next session because Alumina gives me a sign of hope."

Dan

Questions

We aren't a crisis service so if you're in need of immediate support please contact one of the following:

The Mix: Offering essential support for anyone aged 12-25. For their crisis messenger support service text THEMIX to 85258.
Childline: Support for anyone up to age 18. Call, chat online or email their crisis service.
Samaritans: Call 116123 anytime if you need to talk to someone.

We've changed the shape of our support for young people. This website introduces Alumina, our online support groups for young people struggling with self-harm. We've also recently launched beheadstrong.uk offering young people all kinds of information, stories and videos about looking after your mental and emotional wellbeing. You can find links to some of selfharm.co.uk's most popular articles below.

Yes we have! We have worked with 14-19 year olds for many years but we have always heard from people who are younger (or those who care about them) asking if we do anything for younger people. Then from September 2022 we reduced our age range to 11, and found how important it was to support this age range and that our Early Intervention project was great for this age range. Therefore, from October 2023 we will be aiming our work at young people in secondary school or college (or equivalent) and those transitioning to secondary school and our age range has reduced to 10-17 years old. If you're under 13 we will need to get permission from someone with parental responsibility for you, and we will email them to explain how Alumina works and make sure they are happy with you joining a group.

We aim to group similar aged young people into groups together, so 10-13-year-olds will be offered groups together and 13-17 year olds will be in other groups together. We are happy to work with anyone until the end of their full-time education, therefore we will work with 17- and 18-year-olds so long as they are three months or more away from finishing their education at the end of August.

Meet the team

Live Webinars

We have recently started to do live webinars on YouTube on issues related to self-harm and emotional wellbeing

Supporting Young People Who Self-harm

If you're a parent, professional or friend supporting a young person who's self-harming, we recommend taking an hour to watch this webinar with our Alumina Managers. They explore why people self-harm, why young people especially self-harm, why it becomes addictive, how to break the addiction cycle, and what young people wish the adults around them understood about self-harm.

"Alumina is a well thought through support service for young people; it is professional, caring and accessible to all. Signposting a young person to Alumina will help them begin their recovery journey."

DR. KATE MIDDLETON

Our Alumina advisory panel

More information about self-harm

We've moved some of our most popular articles about self-harm over to beheadstrong.uk, and you can use these links to find them:

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Free online Self-harm support for 10-17 year olds

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery." Max "If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive" Abi Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm.

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Home - Sarac (Sexual Abuse Rape Advice Centre)

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SARAC (Sexual Abuse Rape Advice Centre) offers confidential support for people in Burton, Lichfield, Tamworth, Uttoxeter, Swadlincote and South Derbyshire who are at risk of or have experienced sexual violence and/or rape at anytime in their lives. Our specialist support is for any individual over 11 years old.The services are provided by experienced and qualified [...]

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A short video to explain, simplistically, what anxiety is.

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Fight Flight Freeze – A Guide to Anxiety for Kids

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Links to lots of fantastic resources to get clued up on why you may be feeling how you are.

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Links to lots of fantastic resources to get clued up on why you may be feeling how you are.

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We want to improve young people’s understanding of their mental health and wellbeing and to equip them with the knowledge, skills and confidence to look out for themselves, their friends and those around them.

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The Charlie Waller Library of Mental Health Resources

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A library of all the mental health resources offered by The Charlie Waller Trust, which provide practical tips based on clinical evidence.

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DfE tips to reduce your workload.

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Staying safe if you have suicidal thoughts.

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You may have found yourself wishing that you were dead, or perhaps thinking that the people who you care about would be better off without you but with support you can choose to live.

Even situations that seem almost impossible to face can feel different if you remind yourself that feelings don't last forever and you have an idea of what you can do to get through this painful time. Please share our hope that you can find a way forward.

Information about how to make a Safety Plan can be found on this website for anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts or supporting someone else. It's designed to offer hope, compassion and practical ideas on how to find your own way forward.

Please keep reading and keep watching the films where you'll find everything you need to know about making a Safety Plan and how it will help you. You will find details of what you can do for yourself and who you can contact for support when you need it.

Please keep reading and watching the films and we really hope you find them helpful.

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You may have found yourself wishing that you were dead, or perhaps thinking that the people who you care about would be better off without you but with support you can choose to live.

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There is always someone there to listen through these links.

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Samaritans works to make sure there's always someone there for anyone who needs someone. Read more.

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Supporting challenging behaviours.

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HappyMaps - Find the best support, advice and information on young people's mental health, all in one place. For Parents, Professionals and Young People.

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Read reviews

"I think this is a fabulous resource-very clearly laid out with the full range of supports available, from parenting tips through to professional help" (Parent)

"This is great to recommend to parents when they are worried about their children. It's the best website for mental health issues that I've found" (Teacher)

"Excellent. I work for CAMHS Bristol and regularly recommend this website" (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services)

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Home - HappyMaps: Help and Resources for Children's Mental Health

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An award-winning website on children's mental health collating sensible and professional advice on common problems. With new self-help pages for young people.

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Advice and support when trying to cope with family/partner separation.

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Practical information for parents who are sharing care, those who are caring for their children alone and those who are not able to spend time with their children. Parents, carers, grandparents or anyone else with concerns about family separation are welcome.

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Practical information for parents who are sharing care, those who are caring for their children alone and those who are not able to spend time with their children. Parents, carers, grandparents or anyone else with concerns about family separation are welcome.

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Supporting others with an eating disorder

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Supporting others with an eating disorder

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F.E.A.S.T: We Are Here Because We've Been There

You've found F.E.A.S.T: the global organization of and serving parents like you around the world. We are here to help you understand your son or daughter's eating disorder, support you in helping them get appropriate treatment, and get you the information you need to help them recover and thrive.

This website is about you. Your learning, your confidence, your resources. No two families have the same needs or path, but we know what kind of information and skills help families be resilient and strong through the process. We can help you discover your unique toolkit.

We believe in families. We believe in full recovery. We believe information is power and good treatment saves lives. Welcome to our community.

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FEAST: Support and resources for families affected by eating disorders

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FEAST is a global support and education community of and for parents of those with eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and more.

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Providing information, advice and a wide range of specialist support services designed to help adult and young carers continue in their caring role for as long as they choose and reduce the impact the caring role can have on their own health and wellbeing.

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Who is a Carer?

A Carer is someone of any age who provides unpaid care, for a few hours a day or round the clock, to a friend or relative who could not manage without their support. The care they give may be due to age, illness, disability, mental health problems, or substance misuse.

Carers' lives are often complex - many have other commitments as well as their caring role, such as work or school, and sometimes they live with the person they care for or sometimes they call in to help. These situations can create challenges which may impact on Carers' financial or educational opportunities, as well as their own health and wellbeing.

Carers sometimes do not realise they are a 'Carer' and feel they are simply being kind, by looking after a family member or friend. Carers provide huge benefits to the person they care for, as well as wider benefits to the health and social care system, by providing a free, essential support service.

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Staffordshire Together for Carers Service

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A Carer is someone of any age who provides unpaid care, for a few hours a day or round the clock, to a friend or relative who could not manage without their support. The care they give may be due to age, illness, disability, mental health problems, or substance misuse.

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Website that offers chat and support for domestic violence.

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Got something you need to talk about? Are you worried that something in your life just doesn't feel right? 'IS THIS OK' is here to help.

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Tourettes Action is a support and research charity working to improve the lives of people living with Tourette Syndrome. Our services include online live-chat and email support, a befriender network, information, webinars, events and resources.

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Have you, or someone you care about, experienced sexual assault or abuse?
These confidential services are here to support you.

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Sexual Violence and Abuse - Staffordshire Women’s Aid

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Together Against Domestic Violence Since 1976

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The UK’s eating disorder charity. Support to alleviate the pain and suffering caused by eating disorders.

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Struggling with an eating disorder? Caring for someone who is? Beat is here to support you.

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Help with supporting identity and belonging.

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A social group for lesbian and bi women aged 35 and over. Every 1st and 3rd Wednesday in the month in Hanley

www.freewebs.com/pinklinkstoke/

A badminton club in Stoke-on-Trent for local LGBTQ+ people. All ages, standards and abilities are welcome.

www.stokepanthersbadminton.club
Trans Staffordshire
Social and support group for trans people living in Stoke-on-Trent and Staffordshire.
www.trans-staffordshire.org.uk

North Midlands LGBTQ+ Older People's Group

The group gives people a chance to meet others and make new friends; listen to guest speakers; try new activities; exchange stories in a warm, supportive, and friendly environment.
6:30pm on the fourth Monday of the month at the Community Fire Station in Hanley.
www.olgbtstoke.org.uk

LGBTQ+ Support Group & Proud Parents Group (Starfish)

Starfish hold 2 groups; support group for LGBTQ+ people and allies aged 18 in Staffordshire (including South Staffordshire), and support group for parents/carers or family members of LGBTQ+ people of all ages.

www.proudparentscommunity.co.uk

LGBTQ+ groups in surrounding areas
Body Positive (Cheshire)
A Cheshire charity who run a Gay and Bi Men's Group, Lesbian and Bi Women's Group and support group for people living with HIV.

A weekly meet-up for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, intersex, asexual, queer, and non-binary folk in and around Congleton.
Every Tuesday from around 8.30pm. Location and time are decided in the Facebook group.
Find them on Facebook
XYZ Club (Shropshire)
The XYZ Youth Group is for young people (ages 13-19) who describe themselves as: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Gender fluid or questioning
Derbyshire LGBTQ+
Derbyshire's only LGBT specific support service, supporting anyone who is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender or anyone who is having issues with their sexual orientation or gender identity, this includes family and friends. The organisation runs several groups.

www.derbyshirelgbt.org.uk

LGBT Foundation (Manchester)

A safe and comfortable environment for people who may feel isolated, coming out or are new to the area, and some groups offer a social environment for people who want to avoid bars and clubs. There are a number of groups available to people of all ages. Held at Number 5, Richmond Street, Manchester M1 3HF.
www.lgbt.foundation ​

Birmingham LGBT Centre

A wide range of independent social groups organised by LGBT people for LGBT people. So, whether you're interested in making new friends, pursuing a hobby or interest, or making your voice heard on issues that affect LGBT people, there's a group for you.
www.blgbt.org

Local organisations

Glow offer a range of support services for people in unhealthy relationships. They work with people of all genders and ages and are an LGBT+ inclusive service. They also offer a men's support service for men in unhealthy relationships.
www.findtheglow.org.uk

Staffordshire Sexual Health Charity

Staffordshire Sexual Health Charity (formerly Staffordshire Buddies) has a new home at the Dudson Centre, Hanley, Stoke on Trent. They have rebranded as the charity has broaden its remit to encompass all elements of sexual health support, well-being, social inclusion and independence.
Grange Park
A centre which provides support services for people living in Stoke-on-Trent and Staffordshire who have been sexually assaulted or raped.
Savana
A support service for anyone who has experienced or is affected by any form of sexual violence including rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, 'honour' related violence and childhood sexual abuse, whether recently or in the past.
Stoke-on-Trent Community Drug & Alcohol Service
A service which helps people struggling with the impact of drugs or alcohol. They offer support to adults, young people, carers, partners and families who live in Stoke-on-Trent to make a positive and sustainable change to their lives and the community they live in.

Other LGBTQ+ support and information

GIRES is a volunteer operated membership charity that, in collaboration with the other groups in its field, hears, helps, empowers and gives a voice to trans and gender non-conforming individuals, including those who are non-binary and non-gender, as well as their families.

Family and individual support for teenagers and children who are trans or gender variant.
Switchboard LGBT+ helpline
Switchboard provide an information, support and referral service for lesbians, gay men and bisexual and trans people - and anyone considering issues around their sexuality and/or gender identity. They are welcoming, confidential, supportive and non-judgemental.
Galop
An LGBT+ anti-violence charity. If you've experienced hate crime, sexual violence or domestic abuse, they're here for you. They also support lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people who have had problems with the police or have questions about the criminal justice system.
Stonewall
Stonewall campaigns for the equality of lesbian, gay, bi and trans people across Britain.
Mind LGBT+ Mental Health Information
Mindline Trans+ is an emotional and mental health support helpline for anyone identifying as transgender, non-binary, genderfluid, and are also here to support family members, friends, colleagues and carers.

www.mindlinetrans.org.uk
Mindline Trans
Mind, a UK mental health charity, has specialist LGBT+ mental health information, including personal experiences and useful contacts.

Mind - LGBTIQ+ mental health
Broken Rainbow
An LGBT domestic violence charity.

www.brokenrainbow.org.uk
The Proud Trust
The Proud Trust is a life saving and life enhancing organisation that helps LGBT+ young people empower themselves, to make a positive change for themselves, and their communities.
Naz and Matt Foundation
A charity based in the United Kingdom that tackles homophobia triggered by religious and cultural beliefs.

www.nazandmattfoundation.org

Asylum Advice for LGBTQ+ Refugees

Peter Tatchell Foundation

Advice is for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) refugees. The PTF Foundation can point you to people and organisations who can help you file a credible, effective asylum application or appeal.

www.petertatchellfoundation.org/asylum-advice-for-lgbt-refugees/

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A social group for lesbian and bi women aged 35 and over. Every 1st and 3rd Wednesday in the month in Hanley www.freewebs.com/pinklinkstoke/ A badminton club in Stoke-on-Trent for local LGBTQ+ people. All ages, standards and abilities are welcome. www.stokepanthersbadminton.club Trans Staffordshire Social and support group for trans people living in Stoke-on-Trent and Staffordshire.

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Are you affected by a family member or friend’s drinking, drug use or gambling? Get help for you from Adfam’s support services.

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Drug & alcohol use can threaten and ultimately destroy family relationships and wellbeing. We empower family members and carers, support frontline workers and influence decision-makers to stop this happening. Adfam has recently launched its new Adfam@Home self-funded support service.

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Self-harm can be difficult to talk about but it’s a common problem and you can beat it. Find out what self-harm means and what to do if you think you’re affected by it.

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If you need help right now

If you feel like you are about to self-harm now, there are things you can do to help keep your mind off it. Watch the video about the TIPP technique - a simple technique you can use to help you in the moment.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999.

Self-harm is when you intentionally cause harm to yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings, traumatic experiences or memories, neglect, or situations that you find overwhelming. People sometimes self-harm when life feels hard to cope with.

Self-harm can look different for different people. You might find yourself doing things which are harmful, but not think of them as 'self-harm'. But that doesn't make your experience any less valid.

Self-harm can look like:

cutting yourself

using drugs or alcohol to cope with your problems

not eating, over-eating, or forcing yourself to throw up

spending all your time on addictive behaviours like gaming, social media or gambling

over-exercising and/or exercising when you are injured

biting, hitting or burning yourself

hitting walls

getting into situations on purpose where you risk getting hurt, including fights or risky sexual behaviour

Often self-harming only brings temporary relief. You might also have negative feelings after self-harming, such as guilt, shame or fear. When difficult feelings start to build up again, you might feel like you have to harm again. It can be really hard to break out of this cycle. Self-harming can become a habit and it can be upsetting to think that this is your only way to cope. But there are things you can do to stop self-harming and get better. And with support, you can learn other ways of coping when things feel too much.

People self-harm for many different reasons. Some people find it hard to explain why they do it, but often it's a way for people to let out feelings that are hard to explain or control.

There are many reasons why you might self-harm and these reasons will be different for everyone. You might be dealing with lots of intense thoughts and feelings and hurting yourself might feel like the only way to let those feelings out. Or you might feel numb and want to hurt yourself so that you can feel something.

For some people, self-harm feels like a way to show the feelings they have inside on the outside. It can be a way of:

People often start self-harming due to something stressful or upsetting that is going on in their life that is difficult to deal with . This could be something like:

suffering abuse

experiencing a traumatic incident

family problems like a divorce

money worries

bullying

a sudden change in your life, like a death, a relationship ending or moving school

exam stress or extreme pressure or criticism from family, friends, teachers or at work

low self-esteem or issues with body image

difficult feelings like loneliness, anxiety, depression or anger

an illness or health problem

feelings of guilt, failure, or being unloved

experiencing discrimination against your race, religion, sexuality, gender or disability

These are just examples. Whatever the reason you started self-harming, your feelings matter and you can get through this.

You may not always know the reason why you are self-harming. If you're unsure why, or don't understand the reasons, you are not alone and you can still get help.

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Artwork credit: @the_mini_ADHD_coach

An illustration of a face with eyes closed. Text reads: 'It's ok to feel overwhelmed.'

Things can happen in life that can leave us feeling overwhelmed, angry and hurt. Instead of finding ways to express those feelings to the world, we might start to take this pain and anger out on ourselves.

We might self-harm because we have learnt that in order to be accepted or loved we have to be 'perfect'. When we don't live up to this 'perfect' image we can feel like a 'failure'. The constant guilt, or worry about disappointing people, can make us feel like we need to punish ourselves for not being 'good enough'. If this resonates with you, you're not alone. With the right support, you can stop feeling this way, and learn to love yourself for who you are.

Sometimes people make comments about self-harm being attention-seeking. Comments like this can be hurtful and make you feel judged, alone or misunderstood. Those who self-harm actually often keep this private. However, if you do self-harm as a way of bringing attention to yourself, remember that there is nothing wrong with wanting people to notice you more and wanting to have your feelings taken seriously. You deserve to feel loved by those around you and you deserve support.

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Artwork credit: @ohhappydani

An illustration of six arms all of different skin tones. On each arm reads the word 'worthy'.

Overall, the most important thing which I hope everyone knows is you don't have to go through this alone.

I was only 14 when I started to self-harm. I was never intending to hurt myself. I was doing it for the sense of relief it provided. I felt like the only way I could function and leave my room was if I had that release.

Ways to keep yourself safe now

It's really important to keep yourself as safe as possible and reduce your risk of serious self-injury. Even though you want to stop self-harming, you might not feel able to stop straight away. Sometimes it can take time to find new ways to cope, and that's normal.

If you are unable to stop self-harming right now, make sure you are at least doing it as safely as possible. This means using sterile equipment, keeping your wounds clean, and avoiding mixing drugs and alcohol with other forms of self-harm. You can also call Samaritans at any time - whether you're thinking about self-harm or have already harmed yourself.
If you are in an emergency or worried for your life you should call 999 or go to A&E.

Things you can do to help

There are also lots of things you can do in the moment to help you not self-harm.

When you feel the urge to self-harm building, you could try to:

go for a walk or do some gentle exercise

distract yourself by focusing on your breathing

text a friend and let them know you need them to help you take your mind off things

play music and sing or dance along

hold an ice cube

write down your thoughts

hit a cushion or pillow

tear up a magazine or newspaper

make a self-soothe box

go to a public place like a park or a cafe

You might find the TIPP technique helps to stop your urge to self-harm.

This video explains how to use the TIPP technique to help you feel calmer.

Ways to keep yourself safe in the long term

There are also a number of ways to help yourself in the long term and support your recovery journey.

Talking about self-harm can feel difficult. It is understandable that you might feel nervous to talk to someone, feel like you'll be judged or feel you won't be understood. But talking about how you're feeling with someone you trust can help you to get the right support.

Try talking to someone you feel comfortable and safe with, like a friend or family member. If you don't feel like you can talk to friends or family, you could talk to someone in your wider community, such as a teacher, a school counsellor/nurse, a faith leader or a youth worker. Think about who you would feel most comfortable communicating with and how, whether it's face to face, over the phone, by text or email.

In some communities it can feel more difficult to reach out for help because of certain stigmas around mental health. If you reach out for help and the person you talk to does not react the way you hoped, remember that this reaction is about them, not you. Don't let their reaction discourage you from reaching out again. If you don't feel like you can reach out to someone you know, remember that there are still lots of people who can help. You may prefer to get support from a professional, a helpline or through a charity. Take a look at our list of organisations that can help, and don't struggle on your own.

Speaking to a professional about self-harm can feel scary, but it's often an important step to recovery. You may be worried that you'll be misunderstood or judged, but there are lots of trained people that you can talk to who understand and really care. That's because they speak to lots of young people who are going through this too. They are there to listen and support you.

It is helpful to tell the GP exactly what you are doing and what your worries are. If you need medical treatment for injuries, do make sure you get it. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to go to your GP or hospital for this - they are there to help you get better and it is not their job to judge you.

Your GP will listen and discuss the best options to support you. They might offer you an assessment with a local community mental health team, or if you are under 18, they can refer you to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) for an assessment. These assessments are so they can help you to find the right treatment, such as counselling or talking therapy, where you can talk with a trained mental health professional about what you are feeling and ways you can cope.

The types of talking therapy you might be offered include:

cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on how your thoughts, beliefs and attitudes affect your feelings and actions

dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) - a type of CBT adapted specifically for people who experience emotions very intensely

mentalisation-based therapy (MBT) - a type of therapy that focuses on helping you to make sense of your own and other people's thoughts, feelings and actions

Find out more about counselling and therapy in our guide.

Sometimes the first person you speak to won't help, but that doesn't make your feelings invalid. If you are finding it hard to get the right support from your GP, you may find it helpful to turn to other support, such as your school nurse or a specialist organisation such as Samaritans. For more tips and advice getting the right support from your GP, including information about your rights as a patient, visit our guide on how to speak to your GP about mental health.

Journaling can be a helpful way to let out your emotions. It can also help you to recognise what is bothering you and any patterns in what triggers you or causes you to feel bad.

Take a few minutes every day to write down how you are feeling. If you don't like writing, try doodling, drawing or recording a voice note. Remember this is just a way to express yourself - there's no right or wrong way to do this and nobody has to see it but you.

If you want to, you could show your journal to any mental health professionals who are supporting you, to help them understand what you are going through.

Sometimes just making small changes to your daily routine can help improve your mood. Consider trying some of these changes:

Make sure you get enough sleep and stay hydrated - staying physically healthy can help you to feel happier.

Take time out when you need to - this could be going for a walk, doing some drawing or relaxing however you like to.

Think of three things you are proud of each day - you could do this when you first wake up or just before you go to sleep.

Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend - think about the advice and support you would give someone else if you heard they were struggling.

The internet can be a helpful space for those who self-harm. It offers a lot of information, advice and support. You may also find that it's easier to speak openly about your feelings through social media, rather than face-to-face. However, there is also a lot of content about self-harm on the internet that can be distressing or make you feel worse. We also know that those who have peers that self-harm are more likely to self-harm themselves. Think about how your use of social media is affecting your mood and what content is best for you. Make sure to only follow accounts that make you feel positive and safe.

Some people find it really helpful to create a 'safety plan' that they can use when the urge to self-harm is really strong. This can include whatever you think would be helpful, but generally it includes ideas of what you can do to distract yourself, who you can speak to, and what else you can do to keep yourself safe. Papyrus have a useful guide to creating a safety plan, which might help if you'd like to create your own. Although the focus of their guide is for suicidal feelings, you can use it for self-harm as well.

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Artwork credit: @crazyheadcomics

An image of a bendy road titled 'the road to recovery'. Text along the road reads: 'start', 'progress', 'hope', 'relapse', 'second attempt', 'setback', 'growth', 'change', 'calm'.

If you have self-harmed by cutting or wounding yourself in some way, you are likely to have scars on your body from this. You may find that you have a number of emotions and feelings associated with these scars, such as guilt, regret or difficulties accepting your body image. This can be particularly difficult if you are experiencing stigma around your self-harm.

For advice on how to manage stigma around self-harm within your community, take a look at Louisa's blog.

If you're really struggling with the scars left on your body, you may be able to find treatment that can help. You can find information about scar treatments on the NHS website. Scars will look different for everyone depending on skin tone, where the scar is and the type of wound that caused the scar, and this will lead to different treatment options. Not everyone will want to do this and that is completely okay - it is your body and you should only do what feels comfortable for you.

It can be really difficult if you know a friend or loved one is self-harming. It's hard to see someone you love hurting themself in that way, and it can be difficult to know how best to support them.

Just being there and letting them know they're not alone can be very helpful, but it's also important to remember that you may not be able to help them on your own.

Remember there is always support available.

Recognising the signs and symptoms of self-harm

There are lots of different ways that someone might self-harm and this can make it difficult to spot the signs. Your loved one is likely to be in both physical and emotional pain during this time. Here are some signs to look out for.

If your loved one is self-harming by cutting or wounding themself, you may be able to notice some physical signs. This could include:

keeping their body fully covered all the time, even when it is hot, like wearing long sleeves to conceal scars (this is only a sign of self-harm if they do not normally wear long sleeves or clothes that cover the whole body)

having cuts, bruises or burn marks on their body that are unexplained

unexplained scarring on their skin

unexplained blood stains on clothing or tissues

any signs that they are pulling out their hair, for example hair loss or large clumps of hair lying around

Self-harm takes lots of different forms, not just physically hurting yourself. So it's important to also be aware of the emotional signs. These might include:

becoming very withdrawn and talking less than usual to others

unusual changes in mood, such as feeling low, teary or demotivated

making suicidal comments e.g. talking about not wanting to go on

expressing feelings of self-blame, hopelessness or failure

Supporting a loved one with self-harm now
If a friend or family member has self-harmed and has injuries that need medical attention, you should take them to A&E to seek medical help.
The most important thing you can do to support someone is be there to listen. Talking about self-harm is difficult, but having that conversation can help your loved one take the first step to recovery.

Take a look at our tips below for having a sensitive conversation.

Supporting a loved one with self-harm in the long term

Here are some tips on how you can give ongoing support to someone in your life who is self-harming.

Recovery can only happen when your loved one takes steps towards this for themself. You can't force someone to get better. It can be very difficult to see someone you love struggle with self-harm, but letting them be in control of their decisions will support their recovery in the long term. But remember you should always get them medical attention if needed.

You may find it helpful to develop a 'safety plan' with your loved one. This is a tool you can use to help communicate with each other and keep your loved one safe. Samaritans have advice on this as well as a safety plan template you can use.

Speaking to a GP about self-harm may be a scary thought for your loved one, but encouraging them to do this is important so they get the right support. If they really don't want to talk to a GP, there are also lots of charity services and helplines that can help.

This page was reviewed in June 2023. It was co-created by young people with lived experience of self-harm. We will next review the page in 2026. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Self-harm | Advice for young people | Get help

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Self-harm is when you intentionally harm yourself as a way of dealing with difficult feelings or experiences. Find out about self-harm and how to get help.

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We’re Mind, the mental health charity | Mind

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We're Mind, the mental health charity. We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.

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Links for emergency mental health care.

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Shropshire area - other support available

Urgent Care during Covid-19

Changes to the Emergency Department at Royal Stoke

The Emergency Department at Royal Stoke University Hospital will no longer treat minor injuries in adults or children in order to free up vital resources for managing Coronavirus (COVID-19).

Our Walk-in Centre at the Haywood Hospital will be able to provide these essential services between 7am-9.30pm every day. Orthopaedic surgeons and emergency nurse practitioners from Royal Stoke will join the Haywood Walk-in Centre team to provide an enhanced service.

Minor injuries at County Hospital, Stafford will be seen at the fracture clinic between 9am and 6pm. Again, this service will be run by orthopaedic surgeons and emergency nurse practitioners. Outside of these hours you may be asked to return the following day.

Patients who have an eye emergency problem are also being asked not to attend hospital straight away and instead call a telephone number and speak to a specialist. The Emergency Eye Clinic will be available on 01782 674300 Monday to Friday from 9am to 7pm, Saturday from 9 am to 2 pm and Sunday from 9 am to 12 noon.

All other emergency services at Royal Stoke, including the Major Trauma Service and the Children's Emergency Department (ages 0 to 15) and County Hospital will be operating as normal for major injury and illness.

Information about urgent care across Staffordshire, Shropshire and Telford & Wrekin.

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The Emergency Department at Royal Stoke University Hospital will no longer treat minor injuries in adults or children in order to free up vital resources for managing Coronavirus (COVID-19). Our Walk-in Centre at the Haywood Hospital will be able to provide these essential services between 7am-9.30pm every day.

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Links to support children experiencing bereavement.

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Winston's Wish is the UK's childhood bereavement charity. We support children and their families after the death of someone important.

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Child Mental Health Support |Bridge the Gap| Derby England | Emotional Literacy

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A C.I.C supporting child mental health & family wellbeing, online and locally in Derby. We support the mental health of chiildren, parents and teachers. Our services and support are accessible and proactive. Friendly, supportive community and team. Early Intervention - Never judged, always heard.

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Sandbox - Resources to support lots of mental health issues.

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Exams, whether SATs, GCSEs, A Levels or even internal exams, are a daunting thing for anyone! It can feel like climbing a mountain...

Emotions are natural reactions triggered by events in our lives. Sometimes, we might not even realise we're feeling them.

Managing feelings of anger can feel like having a monster inside of you! It can lead you to do or say things that you later regret, hurting

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The Sandbox | Digital Mental Health Service

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The Sandbox is an award winning digital mental health service for Children and Young People

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If you're being bullied, whether it's online or at school, university or work, it can be really difficult and leave you feeling hurt - but you are not alone. We have advice on how you can tell someone and get help.

What is bullying?

If somebody physically hurts you, or verbally abuses you, that's bullying.

Specific types of bullying include:

homophobic bullying based on your sexual orientation

racist bullying because of your skin colour or ethnicity

religious bullying because of your beliefs or faith.

sizeist bullying referring to your body size

sexist bullying focusing on you being of the opposite sex

cyberbullying targeting you online, often anonymously

bullying because you are different

Bullying can be a one-off or it can go on for a long time. And bullying can happen to anyone.

No matter how alone you might feel, there is always someone you can talk to and someone who can help.

Talking to someone about being bullied

Ignoring bullying won't make it go away. You need to tell someone about what is happening.

If the bullying is happening at school
Talk to your parents or carers and your teacher. Your teacher may have no idea that you are being bullied, and the school will have an anti-bullying policy to tackle it.

If you feel you can't speak to your teacher, maybe a friend can do it for you. You can also speak to a school counsellor, welfare officer or nurse.

In extreme cases, if bullying is interfering with your education it may be possible for you to change schools if it doesn't stop once you have reported it.

If the bullying is happening outside school
Talk to your parents or carers, close relatives such as grandparents, aunties and uncles, or even your friends' parents. Youth workers and leaders may be able to help too.

If the bullying is happening online
Tell a trusted adult - your parents or carers, or a teacher. You can report abusive posts on Facebook and other social media platforms. You can also report abuse to CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre).

Keep reporting the bullying until it stops. It may not stop the first time you tell your parents or teacher and they try to stop it. If the bullying continues, tell them again. Don't put up with it. No one deserves to be bullied.

Tips on bullying from young people like you

Real stories and advice on bullying

Get help now

Whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Here are some organisations who can support you.

You might also find helpful...

Bullying can affect us in lots of ways. Here's some more advice and information you might find helpful.

If you're a parent or carer

If you are a parent or carer of a child or young person who is being bullied, we can support you through our Parents Helpline. We are here to listen to you, and give you free, confidential advice and information.

Help us improve our content

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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Bullying | How To Deal With Bullying and Getting Help

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If you are being bullied, or know someone who is, read our advice on where you can get help; whether it's at school, uni or in the workplace.

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Links of who can help.

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If you're worried about your gambling, there are things you can do to get support. You might want to:

You can also get help if you're worried about someone else's gambling.

Limit how much you gamble

If you want to stop gambling or limit how much you gamble, you can:

Ask gambling companies to stop serving you

You can ask gambling companies to stop serving you - this is called 'self-excluding'.

You can self-exclude in different ways depending on where you gamble.

You can find out how to self exclude on the GambleAware website.

Ask your bank to limit how much you spend on gambling

Your bank can do different things to limit how much you spend on gambling. For example, they can:

Check how your bank can help you limit your gambling on the GamCare website.

Use software to block gambling websites

You can block access to gambling websites by downloading blocking software to your device. This means you won't be able to visit gambling websites.

You can find out more about blocking software on the GambleAware website.

Talk to someone about your gambling problem

You can talk to someone about your problem on the GamCare website.

You can also get group support by going to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting near you. You can find out more about the meetings on the Gamblers Anonymous website.

Get help if you're struggling with debt

You should start dealing with your debts as soon as you can.

Our debt advice will help you:

Find out how to start dealing with your debts.

If you don't have enough money to live on, check if you can get help to pay for living costs.

Check if you can get a refund if you've borrowed money

You can complain to your lender if they let you borrow money you couldn't afford to pay back - for example, if they gave you a loan or an overdraft.

You should complain if both of the following apply:

If your complaint is successful, your lender should remove any charges or interest. If you've already paid charges or interest, your lender should refund you. You'll usually still have to pay back the money you borrowed.

You can use a template letter to help you complain to your lender.

If you were allowed to gamble after you self-excluded

Gambling companies shouldn't let you gamble if you've asked them to stop serving you - this is called self-excluding. You can find out more about self exclusion on the GambleAware website.

If you think you shouldn't have been allowed to gamble you can complain to the Gambling Commission. They can take action against a gambling company if they think the company hasn't followed the rules. Find out how to complain to the Gambling Commission on their website.

If you're finding things difficult

A lot of people with gambling problems have mental health problems. If you're struggling with your mental health, you can call the Samaritans' free helpline. You can speak to them about anything.
Samaritans
Telephone: 116 123

Email: jo@samaritans.org

Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Calls are free from all mobiles and landlines.

Page last reviewed on 29 March 2022

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Find charities and services that can help with gambling problems.

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A list of apps to help manage your money each month.

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Important Disclosure: The content provided does not consider your particular circumstances and does not constitute personal advice. Some of the products promoted are from our affiliate partners from whom we receive compensation.

If you require any personal advice, please seek such advice from an independently qualified financial advisor. While we aim to feature some of the best products available, this does not include all available products from across the market. Although the information provided is believed to be accurate at the date of publication, you should always check with the product provider to ensure that information provided is the most up to date.

Budgeting apps, many of which are cost-free for the basic version, track outgoing spend and make it easier to identify where cutbacks can be made. So whether you're attempting to budget for the first time, or you're a seasoned number-cruncher, we've ranked our top picks of budgeting apps for 2024 and beyond.

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Our Pick Of Best Free Budgeting Apps For 2024

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With the cost of living soaring, budgeting has become a crucial part to making ends meet. And downloading a budgeting app can help keep you on track. Here are our top picks of those on the market.

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Find a local food bank to help you.

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If you need emergency food, want to make a food donation or are interested in volunteering, find your nearest Trussell Trust food bank using our map.

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Citizens Advice is an operating name of the National Association of Citizens Advice Bureaux. Registered charity number 279057. VAT number 726 0202 76. Company limited by guarantee. Registered number 01436945 England. Registered office: Citizens Advice, 3rd Floor, 1 Easton Street, London, WC1X 0DW

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If you don't have enough money to live on, you might be able to get help to afford essentials like bills and food. This includes the Household Support Fund and cost of living payments.

You should check if you can claim benefits - you might be able to do this even if you work, have savings or own a home.

If you owe money and you're struggling to pay

You should speak to the organisations you owe money to - they might let you pay smaller amounts or take a break from payments.

Don't ignore bills or letters about money you owe.

You can find out how to start dealing with your debts.

Check what benefits you can get

Lots of people miss out on benefits they're entitled to - so it's worth checking what you can get.

Claiming benefits might also let you get access to other financial help like cost of living payments and discounts on energy and transport.

You might be able to claim benefits or increase your current benefits if you're:

over 16 years old with a low income or no income

sick or disabled, including if you have a mental health condition

of State Pension age with a low income or no income

responsible for children

Check what benefits you can get.

Get your first benefit payment early

When you apply for benefits, you might be able to get your first payment early while you're waiting for either:

This is called a 'short-term benefit advance'. You can get an advance for:

You'll need to pay back the advance. The Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) will take an amount off your future payments until you've paid it back. For Universal Credit, you can spread the repayments over 24 months. For other benefits, you'll usually repay your advance over 12 weeks.

If you've applied for Universal Credit, you can check how to get a Universal Credit advance payment.

If you've applied for a different benefit, contact the benefits office that's dealing with your claim. You can find their contact details on any letter or email you've had from them.

Cost of Living Payments

The government has sent the final 'Cost of Living Payment'. You should have got it if you get a benefit based on your income - for example, Universal Credit, Pension Credit, or tax credits.

If you get benefits based on your income

If you were eligible, the government should have sent you a payment of £299 during spring 2024 between 6 and 22 February 2024.

You should have got the payment if you got any of the following benefits between 13 November to 12 December 2023:

You'll only have got one £299 payment - even if you got more than 1 of these benefits.

If you're waiting for a decision on your benefits claim, you won't get the Cost of Living Payment until your claim is successful.

If your benefits are paid to someone else, like your landlord, you should still have got the Cost of Living Payment.

If you didn't get a previous Cost of Living Payment

If you think you should have got a Cost of Living Payment, you can report a missing payment on GOV.UK.

If you get a disability benefit

You should have got an extra Cost of Living Payment if you were getting a disability benefit on 1 April 2023 - you would have got this payment between 20 June and 4 July 2023.

You would have been eligible for this one-off payment if you get any of the following benefits:

Disability Living Allowance

Personal Independence Payment

Attendance Allowance

Adult Disability Payment

Child Disability Payment

Armed Forces Independence Payment

Constant Attendance Allowance

War Pension Mobility Supplement

To get this payment you must have either:

If you didn't get a previous Cost of Living Payment

If you think you should have got a Cost of Living Payment, you can report a missing payment on GOV.UK.

If you're over State Pension age and get Winter Fuel Payments

You should have got a Cost of Living Payment of either £300 or £150 - you would have got this payment at the same time as your usual Winter Fuel Payment. This was paid between November 2023 and 26 January 2024.

You're usually entitled to Winter Fuel Payments if you're of State Pension age in the third week of September. The State Pension age is 66.

You should have got a £300 Cost of Living Payment at the same time as your Winter Fuel Payment if you live either:

If you live with someone else who qualifies for the Winter Fuel Payment, the amount you should have got depends on whether either of you get any of the following:

If either you or the person you live with gets one of these benefits, you should have got £300 - as long as you're not partners. If you're partners, you should have only got one £300 payment.

If neither of you gets one of these benefits, you should have both got £150.

If you live in residential care and qualify for the Winter Fuel Payment, you should have both got £150 unless you get any of these benefits.

If you didn't get a Cost of Living Payment with your Winter Fuel Payment

If you think you should have got a Cost of Living Payment, you should contact the Winter Fuel Payment Centre.

Check how to contact the Winter Fuel Payment Centre on GOV.UK.

Get help with your energy bills

If you're struggling to pay your energy bills or top up your prepayment meter, you might be able to get help - for example a fuel voucher or a grant from your energy supplier.

Check if you can get help to pay your energy bills.

You might be able to save money on your energy bills by switching to a different supplier, or to a different tariff with your current supplier. Check if you can switch.

Check how to make your home more energy efficient

If your home is energy efficient, you'll pay less to heat your home and it will stay warm for longer.

It's a good idea to look into making your home more energy efficient at any time of the year. This is because it can take a few months to sort things out - for example, to find someone who can do the work.

You might be able to apply for help with the cost of:

Check if you can get help with the cost of energy efficiency.

Get help with essential costs

Your local council might help you pay for things like:

This help is known as 'welfare assistance' or the 'Household Support Fund'. Each council runs their own scheme. You'll need to check if you can get support and what type of support you can get.

Ask your local council if they run a welfare assistance or Household Support Fund scheme. You can find out how to contact your local council on GOV.UK.

You don't have to be getting benefits to get help from your local council. If you do get benefits, they won't be affected if you start getting money from a welfare assistance or Household Support Fund scheme.

There are also other things you can do if you're struggling to afford essentials like rent or food.

If you're struggling to pay for food, you might be able to get a referral to a food bank.

You can find out how to get help from a food bank.

Get help paying for rent, council tax and other bills

There are things you can do if you're struggling to pay your rent and bills.

You can check what help and support you can get with your rent and bills.

Get help with health costs

You might be able to get help paying for NHS charges, for example:

Check if you can get help with health costs on the NHS website.

If you pay for regular prescriptions

If you can't get help to pay for your prescriptions, you might be able to save money by buying a prepayment certificate.

You'll pay a fixed price for either 3 or 12 months. This will cover the cost of all the prescriptions you need during that time.

You can buy a prepayment certificate for unlimited prescriptions for:

You can buy a prepayment certificate on the NHS website.

If you've been prescribed hormone replacement therapy (HRT)

If you already have a prepayment certificate for other medicines, it covers the cost of your HRT.

If you only need a certificate for HRT, you might be able to save money. You can get an HRT prescription prepayment certificate - it costs £19.30 for 12 months.

The certificate only covers certain HRT medicines. Check if your HRT medicine is covered on the NHS website. If you have HRT medicines that aren't covered, you'll have to pay for them or buy a normal prepayment certificate.

You can buy an HRT prescription prepayment certificate on the NHS website.

Get help with your energy and water if you're disabled

If you're disabled, you might be able to get extra support with your energy and water. You can check how to get free advice about energy and water bills on the Scope website.

Get help if you have children or are pregnant

You might be able to get extra money to help pay for essential costs like food, childcare and school.

Check if you can get help with costs if you have a child or you're pregnant.

Get help with travel costs

Contact your local council to check if they offer free or discounted travel - for example, if you're:

You can find your local council on GOV.UK.

If you're over State Pension age, you can get free bus travel. Apply for an older person's bus pass on GOV.UK.

If you're 60 or over and live in London, you can get free travel on London's transport services. You can apply for a 60+ London Oyster photocard on the TFL website.

If you're disabled, you might be able to apply for a bus pass or railcard. You can check if you can get help with the cost of transport.

If you're looking for work and you get benefits

You might be able to get a Jobcentre Plus Travel Discount Card - this gives you half-price train tickets for up to 3 months.

You can apply for the card if you claim Jobseeker's Allowance or Universal Credit. One of the following must apply:

You might also be able to get the card if you've been claiming another benefit for at least 3 months. For example you might be getting Employment and Support Allowance, Income Support or Incapacity Benefit. You'll have to show you've been looking for work through a Jobcentre.

If you think you might be able to get the card, contact your local Jobcentre Plus office.

Check how to contact your local Jobcentre Plus office on GOV.UK.

Get help with pets

If you're using a food bank, you might be able to ask for some things, like pet food. Check with your local food bank if they're able to help.

You can also check if there's a pet food bank in your area. Ask your local vet or pet shop, or search online for 'pet food bank' and your local town.

You might be able to find free pet food collection points at your local supermarket, pet store or animal charity.

Get help with vet care

You might be eligible for free or reduced vet care from Blue Cross if you:

Check if you can get free or reduced vet care on the Blue Cross website.

You also might be able to get free or reduced vet care from charities such as RSPCA and PDSA.

Check if you can get free or reduced vet care on the RSPCA website.

Check if you can get free or reduced vet care on the PDSA website.

Get help with vet bills

If you're struggling to pay your vet bills, talk to your vet about payment options - like reducing the bill or setting up a payment plan.

If you can't set up an affordable payment plan, you should get debt advice. Your vet might decide to stop treating your pet if you owe money.

Work out your budget

You should use a budgeting tool to help you understand:

You can use a budgeting tool.

Apply for a charitable grant

You might be able to get extra money from a charity to help with living costs. Some of these charitable grants are open to everyone. Others might be available based on your situation, for example:

You can check what help you can get from local and national charities on the Turn2us website. You'll need to know your postcode.

If you're over 55 and have a personal pension

You might be able to take some money from your pension savings to help pay for essential costs or to pay off your debts.

You should think about whether taking money from your pension is the best financial decision for you. Taking money from your pension will mean you have less income when you retire. If you're getting benefits, taking money from your pension could affect your claim.

You can get free guidance on your pension options from Pension Wise. They'll explain the different options so you can decide which is best for you.

You should also get financial advice before taking any money from your pension savings - you'll have to pay.

You can check how to find a financial adviser - they can tell you which option is best for you.

If you're finding things difficult

Your mental health is as important as your physical health. You should talk to your GP if your money problems are affecting your mental health.

You can find other ways to get help with your mental health on the Mind website.

If you need to speak to someone

You can speak to a trained volunteer at organisations like Samaritans or Shout.

Samaritans

Helpline: 116 123 (Monday to Sunday at any time)

Welsh Language Line: 0808 164 0123 (Monday to Sunday 7pm to 11pm)

Calls to Samaritans are free.

You can find other ways to get in touch with Samaritans on their website.

Shout

You can also text 'SHOUT' to 85258 to start a conversation with a trained Shout volunteer. Texts are free, anonymous and confidential from anywhere in the UK.

If you think it's an emergency

If you think your life or someone else's is at risk, you should call 999 or go to A&E if you can.

You can also find a list of urgent mental health services on the Mind website.

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Check what extra help you could get if you're struggling with the cost of living - including the Cost of Living Payment scheme.

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Links to guides and apps such as coach to 5km and active 10 to help support anyone to become more acitve.

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Find simple ways to move more every day with tips, support and free exercise plans to help you get going.

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Lots of resources to help you - or loved ones - who are experiencing bereavement.

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Bereavement is a personal experience and can affect people in different ways.

You can find information about understanding and managing grief from the following organisations:

You can find someone to speak to about bereavement from the following organisations:

Citizens Advice has guidance about what happens after a death and things you might need to do, depending on the circumstances.

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The steps you must take when someone dies - register a death, report a death with Tell Us Once, coroners, funerals and death abroad.

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Lots of resources to help cope with anxiety.

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Free Mental Health Resources | Journey to Wellness

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Download our consciously created collection of free mental health resources to support your journey to wellness.

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Useful tips to help parents and siblings understand the SEND needs that their loved one is living with.

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Who is this eBook for?

'Self-care for siblings' has been written by Sibs for adult siblings in the UK who have grown up with a brother or sister who has a lifelong disability.
Types of lifelong disabilities might include spina bifida, cerebral palsy, mild/moderate/severe or profound and multiple learning disabilities, Down Syndrome, Williams Syndrome, Apert Syndrome, Cornelia de Lange Syndrome, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Asperger Syndrome, Rett Syndrome, Mucopolysaccharide (MPS) diseases, Fabry disease and related diseases, a Syndrome Without A Name (SWAN), genetic disorders, Cri du Chat Syndrome, a life-limiting condition, Fragile X syndrome, Tuberous Sclerosis and any other lifelong physical or learning disability.

"Thank you for acknowledging the role of adult sibling carers. Although I will always care for my sister I didn't truly acknowledge that this is and should be a valued role in society - once I stopped being a 'young carer' I didn't feel like I could use the term 'carer' since I don't live in the same home and have moved on with my own life. You have validated the role and allowed me to acknowledge that my experience is different from a lot of people including my friends and partner but that it's also a huge strength. I hope other people who aren't in a carer role, and relevant services, can benefit from reading this book, as much as adult sibling carers can." - Adult sibling

How can this eBook help me?

We hope that this eBook helps you to:

Recognise your sibling experiences

Take care of yourself

Have a choice in the role you play in your brother or sister's life

"I just wanted to write to say thank you so much for putting the ebook together. I have been reading it on and off for a few weeks, using it more as a guide when I start to feel guilty or stressed about something. I'm an adult carer for my younger brother, in both an unpaid and paid role (I've been part of his PA team for a few years now as trying to balance a full time job and helping my Mum to manage his care was so difficult) but I also just had my own little boy, he's 10 weeks old. Due to COVID I am stepping in even more than usual and was really struggling with the juggle of everything, and this book came along just at the right time. I've spent a lot of time talking with my Mum, (more than we ever have in my life!), and have found a balance that is working really well at the minute. It has genuinely helped me a lot, so I really wanted you to know how useful I have found it. Thank you again!" - Adult sibling

Why is self-care important for me as a sibling?

It's likely that you have experienced a lifetime of your needs coming second (or third, or fourth) to other people's. For this reason, it can be particularly hard for siblings to meet their own needs (such as to get enough rest, to do something they enjoy, to say no when they need to). But self-care is not a self-indulgent luxury. It is an absolute necessity.

"I really feel thankful to see a book that recognises so many of the challenges and difficulties I have/am experiencing as a sibling of a brother with Autism/severe learning difficulties and is nonverbal. As I have been a continuous Carer from my early teen years till present and having experienced a lot of challenges along the way, it was refreshing to see that I am not alone, I am understood and moving forward I can get further support for my caring responsibilities. Really wish I had this book sooner. Thank you so much for this ebook Sibs!" - Adult sibling

What's included?

The most common topics and questions we hear from siblings

Ideas for self-care

Tips and experiences from other siblings

"The ebook is wonderful. It's done the trick! My two adult children spoke for 2 1/2 hours to each other on the telephone about their childhood which they've never done before. My daughter said it has explained so much about herself. And it's answered so many questions for my husband and I who feel as if we've come to the end of a very long exhausting journey since our disabled daughter died 3 years ago" - parent of two adult siblings

What's not included?

This eBook is about you and your experiences. It is not about the care and support of your disabled brother or sister. This is why it doesn't cover practical topics about their care, such as mental capacity, managing finances and getting a care needs assessment. If you need information on these topics, have a look at our guides for adult siblings.

"It means a lot to me that this guide is for adult siblings and that it acknowledges how childhood issues often go unresolved and affect us as adults. It feels like there is this unspoken assumption that being an adult means I am okay and I don't need support, and this guide challenged that assumption and made me feel heard." - Adult sibling

Chapters include:

Being a sibling

Your feelings

Your mental health

Childhood experiences

Thinking about the future

Your relationship with your parent(s)

Your relationship with your disabled brother or sister(s)

Having your own children

Your own family life

Being a sibling carer

Siblings and work

Bereavement

How to find a counsellor

"I just really like this from the first chapter: "If it helps you to have a second reason, remember that you also need to put yourself first so that you can be there for others." As a sibling, it infuriates me when people say to be strong and take care of myself for the sake of others. The fact that Sibs understands this to be a secondary factor and not the main reason for self-care is so validating. Thank you for making this point." - Adult sibling

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Are you an adult sibling who grew up with a disabled brother or sister? Do you ever feel that other people just don't 'get' what life as a sibling is like? Do you find it hard to make time for yourself? Then our new eBook "Self-care for siblings" is for you.

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How to support someone who is experiencing a meltdown. This is useful for anyone, not just for those diagnosed as autistic.

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You have the power to change you. This inspirational video will help to show how you can make positive changes in your life to improve your outlook and belief.

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The power of believing that you can improve | Carol Dweck | TED

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Develop relationships to improve wellbeing

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Develop relationships to improve wellbeing

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Do's and don'ts in steps to promote a positive wellbeing from the NHS.

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Evidence suggests there are 5 steps you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing. Trying these things could help you feel more positive and able to get the most out of life.
1. Connect with other people

Good relationships are important for your mental wellbeing. They can:

help you to build a sense of belonging and self-worth

give you an opportunity to share positive experiences

provide emotional support and allow you to support others

There are lots of things you could try to help build stronger and closer relationships:

2. Be physically active

Being active is not only great for your physical health and fitness. Evidence also shows it can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

raising your self-esteem

helping you to set goals or challenges and achieve them

causing chemical changes in your brain which can help to positively change your mood

Read about exercise guidelines and workouts to help improve your fitness and wellbeing

3. Learn new skills

Research shows that learning new skills can also improve your mental wellbeing by:

boosting self-confidence and raising self-esteem

helping you to build a sense of purpose

helping you to connect with others

Even if you feel like you do not have enough time, or you may not need to learn new things, there are lots of different ways to bring learning into your life.

Some of the things you could try include:

4. Give to others

Research suggests that acts of giving and kindness can help improve your mental wellbeing by:

creating positive feelings and a sense of reward

giving you a feeling of purpose and self-worth

helping you connect with other people

It could be small acts of kindness towards other people, or larger ones like volunteering in your local community.

Some examples of the things you could try include:

saying thank you to someone for something they have done for you

asking friends, family or colleagues how they are and really listening to their answer

spending time with friends or relatives who need support or company

offering to help someone you know with DIY or a work project

volunteering in your community, such as helping at a school, hospital or care home

5. Pay attention to the present moment (mindfulness)

Paying more attention to the present moment can improve your mental wellbeing. This includes your thoughts and feelings, your body and the world around you.

Some people call this awareness "mindfulness". Mindfulness can help you enjoy life more and understand yourself better. It can positively change the way you feel about life and how you approach challenges.

Read more about mindfulness, including steps you can take to be more mindful in your everyday life.

Further information

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Read about 5 steps you can take to improve your mental health and wellbeing.

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Tips in how to wrestle back control when experiences a panic attack.

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Zeminar Presents Harry Barry | Banish Panic Attacks for Life

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A really good video about how help to be in control your stress level.

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Stress. It makes your heart pound, your breathing quicken and your forehead sweat. But while stress has been made into a public health enemy, new research suggests that stress may only be bad for you if you believe that to be the case. Psychologist Kelly McGonigal urges us to see stress as a positive, and introduces us to an unsung mechanism for stress reduction: reaching out to others.

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How you feel matters! Whether you're feeling sad, anxious, or stressed, Happify brings you effective tools and programs to help you take control of your feelings and thoughts.

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Happify: Science-Based Activities and Games

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Build skills for lasting happiness: Happify turns the latest innovations in positive psychology, CBT, and mindfulness into activities and games that help you lead a more fulfilling life.

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It is important to enjoy the good times and to not dwell on the bad. Life is a roller-coaster and bad times will pass as we learn and move on.

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Follow these 5 steps to achieve a greater spiritual wellbeing

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Step 1 – Connect. Connecting with others can help us feel close to people, and valued for who we are. ...

Step 2 – Get active. Many people find that physical activity helps them maintain positive mental health. ...

Step 3 – Take notice. ...

Step 4 – Learn. ...

Step 5 – Give.

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Keep striving to get your work/life balance right

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Keep striving to get your work/life balance right

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You won't always get the balance right and it's important not to beat yourself up when you don't. Keep working with your team to ensure you're adapting to have a more balanced self worth as it'll help with your wellbeing.

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Type in your worry and let it float away in a balloon. There are things in our lives that we cannot control, and these things we need to let go.

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Click on the blank letter box and write your problem or worry in the space.

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Improve your emotional state by following these mindfulness techniques.

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A short video showing quick ways to improve your wellbeing overnight.

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Help to relieve anxieties using this method of relaxation that you can use anywhere.

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Hand Breathing Relaxation and Regulation Tool by Dr Karen Treisman

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Parent Talk - down-to-earth parenting advice you can trust.

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Find answers to parenting questions in our advice articles. Or talk to a parenting coach about anything that’s worrying you. It’s all free, and no topic is too big, small, or embarrassing.

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Free and confidential live chat with a parenting coach. We're here 12:00-19:30 Monday and Thursday, 09:30-16:30 Tuesday and Wednesday, and 09:30-16:00 Friday. At other times, leave us a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

Free and confidential live chat with a parenting coach. We're here 12:00-19:30 Monday and Thursday, 09:30-16:30 Tuesday and Wednesday, and 09:30-16:00 Friday. At other times, leave us a message and we'll get back to you as soon as we can.

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Parent Talk - down-to-earth parenting advice you can trust

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We're on hand to support parents, when they need us. As coronavirus puts extra pressure on families, we're offering even more online parenting support. You can find advice and resources on coronavirus, explore our online advice sites below, or speak to one of our parenting coaches in a 1-to-1 live chat.

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Conversation starters in how to help others with their mental health.

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Advice about what you can say/do to help create an open and honest relationship to talk about feelings and emotions.

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Useful tips, originally created during lockdown, to feel 'green' again.

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There are lots of strategies here to help people to regulate themselves.

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With the ever-changing status of schools and many parents working from home without childcare for the foreseeable future, it's hard not to start spiraling. Responsibilities seem endless, the situation dire, and it seems like time to yourself has become a thing of the past...

Take a deep breath. Literally. Feel a little better?

These are trying times, but incorporating mindful practices into your daily routine can help calm anxiety and build healthy coping skills. Here are some tips from our clinicians on making mindfulness work for you and your family.

Being mindful is what it sounds like. Taking time to focus on the present, being intentional and thoughtful about where you are and how you are feeling. Trying to center your thoughts and be in the moment. Sounds simple, but it takes work, especially now when concerns about what the future holds feel so pressing. Mindful activities can help. "Mindfulness isn't complicated," says Jill Emanuele, PhD, Senior Director of the Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute. Here are some simple activities she recommends:

Squeeze Muscles: Starting at your toes, pick one muscle and squeeze it tight. Count to five. Release, and notice how your body changes. Repeat exercise moving up your body.

Belly Breathing: Put one hand on your stomach and one hand on your chest. Slowly breathe in from your stomach (expand like a balloon) and slowly breathe out (deflate).

Mindful Meal: Pay attention to the smell, taste and look of your food. No multitasking.

Meditation: Sit in a relaxed, comfortable position. Pick something to focus on, like your breath. When your mind wanders, bring your attention back to your breath.

Blowing Bubbles: Notice their shapes, textures and colors.

Coloring: Color something. Focus on the colors and designs.

Listening to Music: Focus on the whole song, or listen specifically to the voice or an instrument.

Right now much of the personal time that used to be part of our daily routines - commutes, time alone at home, going to the store - is not available. This means it's extra important to be intentional about creating space to recharge. Deciding to set time aside each day to practice mindful activities is a great place to start, says Dr. Emanuele. "The morning, before everyone is awake, can be a great time to really ground yourself." Morning mindfulness can help set the tone for the day. "Do deep breathing, meditate, exercise, whatever mindfulness activity works for you," she recommends. Mindfulness doesn't have to be elaborate: "You can try mindful eating or mindful drinking with a cup of coffee. Sit there and just be in the moment. That's mindfulness. Taking five minutes to do that before the day begins is even more important now because this is not our typical routine and we're going to feel very, very out of sorts."

Right now it can feel like trying to do ten things at once is the only way anything will get done. For example, trying to fold laundry, make dinner and watch your child all while on a work call.

But, explains Joanna Stern, PsyD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, multitasking rarely works, and can actually increase stress. "Multitasking is a myth," says Dr. Stern. Instead, she suggests achievable goals for the day, trying to focus on one thing at a time. For example, scheduling work calls during naptime, allowing kids to have a little extra screen time while you make dinner, or asking older children to help fold the laundry while you finish cleaning up.

Mindfulness, explains David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute, is "Anything that helps everyone take a moment to slow down, stay present, and come together." Designating time to practice mindful activities as a family will help everyone feel less anxious. It could be a daily family yoga session, or a quiet walk in the woods as a group, taking time to focus on the way the air feels, the sound of the birds and the smell of the trees. Another good family mindfulness idea is asking everyone to mention one good thing they heard or saw that day over dinner.

This situation is one of extreme uncertainty. We don't know what will happen, how long it will last or what things will be like when it's over. One thing we do know, however, is that worrying about it won't change the outcome. Learning how to tolerate the uncertainty is a huge part of building healthy coping skills for ourselves, which we then want to model for our children. "Right now it's very easy to let your brain spin out with the frightening possibilities," warns Dr. Anderson. "Practicing mindfulness helps bring us back to the present, and away from the brink."

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How Mindfulness Can Help During COVID-19 - Child Mind Institute

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With the ever-changing status of schools and many parents working from home without childcare for the foreseeable future, it's hard not to start spiraling. Responsibilities seem endless, the situation dire, and it seems like time to yourself has become a thing of the past... Take a deep breath. Literally.

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Roll a positive question ELSA Support for emotional literacy

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Having a positive mindset is important. Use this game to keep conversations at home on track in creating a positive wellbeing environment.

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This is a fun activity to play with children to get them talking and thinking positively.

All you need are two dice. Roll one and get the horizontal row and roll the other one to get the vertical column. Where they meet is the question you will answer.

We played this last night as a family.

Download: Roll a positive question

Download: Roll a positive question black and white

Other Resources you will love!

Wally Worry the worry monster is for helping children to offload their worries. Included in the pack: Banner Wally Worry Monster(with writing, without writing and...

£1.50

These Flipbooks are brilliant for working with children. Each flipbook concentrates on different areas. Included in the pack 18 emotion books which use our senses...

£2.50

This Reflective journal can help pupils to reflect on their day, week, month, or year. This resource can be made into a journal for pupils...

£2.50

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Roll a positive question - ELSA Support for emotional literacy

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This is a fun activity to play with children to get them talking and thinking positively. All you need are two dice. Roll one and get the horizontal row and roll the other one to get the vertical column. Where they meet is the question you will answer.

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In a society where children are feeling more under pressure than ever, helping children with their emotional wellbeing is a concern for many parents and teachers alike. But modelling these top tips can really help!

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Step 2: "Be grateful"

It can be easy to feel other people's lives are better than our own, especially when we're bombarded with perfect images on social media. We can get stuck thinking others are more beautiful, have more money and fun, or simply 'have more'.

And children are just as susceptible as adults to this comparison trap. So how can we help them (and ourselves)?

One idea is to bring attention to what's working well in your/their life by developing gratitude skills. To develop these skills, you can use techniques such as starting a gratitude jar, writing a gratitude journal or having a gratitude conversation.

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Five ways to help with children's wellbeing

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It can be easy to feel other people's lives are better than our own, especially when we're bombarded with perfect images on social media. We can get stuck thinking others are more beautiful, have more money and fun, or simply 'have more'. And children are just as susceptible as adults to this comparison trap.

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Sleep Meditation for adults and children.

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This can help us to fall asleep faster, sleep longer and even deeper. You may have heard it being referred to as 'sleep meditation'. Meditation exercises can enable us to relax, unwind and let go of thoughts or worries from the day. Practicing meditation has many calming effects on the body.

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New Horizon - Meditation & Sleep Stories

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Sleep Meditation for Children | THE SLEEP TRAIN: Destination Dreamland | Bedtime Meditation for Kids

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NCB was founded to forge closer links between Government, professionals, charities, communities and children themselves.

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A Website with lots of free apps that could support you in how you to improve how you are feeling.

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If someone has a mental health problem, apps aren’t always a replacement for other forms of support, like medication or talking to a professional. But apps can play a really important part in helping us look after our wellbeing and mental health.

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There are over 350,000 digital healthcare apps available - a pretty overwhelming amount. It can be difficult to narrow down which apps to try, especially if you haven't used a wellbeing app before, or if you're not sure which you can trust.

The Best For You website has a small selection of some of the best wellbeing and mental health apps available. The apps are designed to support you with different things in different ways - some have information, while others have audio for meditation and mindfulness, or interactive tools.

Every app on this site can be used for free - some are entirely free, while others have some optional paid-for features.

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Find wellbeing apps through Best For You - Best For You

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There are over 350,000 digital healthcare apps available - a pretty overwhelming amount. It can be difficult to narrow down which apps to try, especially if you haven't used a wellbeing app before, or if you're not sure which you can trust.