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1. Navigating different needs of intimacy and distance in relationships

2. Why poor people don't feel grateful as much as rich people being grateful for life? I hear the poor complain more and rich people saying thank you more

3. Peace Approach versus analytical approach

4. Is Revenge ever justified

5. does it Need commitment to get anywhere? or how much commitment is needed to get somewhere

6. How to oppose the aggressor and stand for your values and beliefs?

7. The idea of happiness, consumption and wealth in the

Western world makes many people unhappy

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🪨🎍My Experience of today’s Group Process: As we started out the topic, I forgot what my role was and just observing and absorbing all the conversations until I raised my hand to speak last. Tears still in my eyes.

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🎋🎋This week I am meditating with Zen Vow-Commitment Practitioners in Dana Sangha, Montreuil, France so I am used to the energy of my Higher-Self: "Bodhisattva" or as the French translate as “Heros of Awakening”.

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🪷🪷The Role that I love and Embodying was the role Of Bodhisattva who has thousands of rules they are devoted to commit their entire life "Listening to all sufferings and pain" with their 1,000 hands ready to help those who are in need. A lotus can not bloom without the Mud. Mud is a metaphor for suffering and roots for blossoming.

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🧘‍♀️🧘‍♀️Bodhisattva are committed to ease the suffering of all living beings. By Deep Empathy and opened Heart Chakra as the center of their Embodiment. Receiving the pain and disease of others and giving your own happiness for them. Only this way as a Vessel towards helping humans to become soft and feel loved. Is this what our existence should feel all the time? Being loved itself?

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🦋🦋Being Centered in my Own Inner-Power helps me navigate through life and Love is always my compass to guide me where I should go next. This is the commitment and Vow I follow.

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🙈🙉🙊What shifted in me after the group process was the question of “Should I play a more dominant role of Asian-Bodhisattva to my Western Friends more or it will allow Asian to be more exploitable, because of non-analytical unconditional love?” Also with language and rank barriers. I still ponder that question everyday. Can you guess which side always wins?

Life

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What often starts as an interesting endeavor, a joint effort to create something, can easily turn into a power battle when we have different levels of commitment. I am often on the side of bringing people together, believing that we can co-create something, and then noticing other participants don’t notify us if they can’t join a meetup.  If I try to establish an agreement (just making a request!) on how to communicate about attending or not attending, suddenly I am seen as pushy.  I find this unfair. I put my energy into the collaboration, and I feel responsible.  Then I am met with suspicion and framed as a domineering, dominant person.

It was a relief to share about my inner struggle today, my struggle to connect people around an idea or activity, while giving space to different degrees of commitment. How can we share responsibility?  How do I keep my enthusiasm?  Why do I tend to hold higher expectations that set me up for disappointment?  Maybe I should step back and let go of my expectations that we can connect and be together? I feel hurt and sad, thinking of stepping back and distancing myself.

Hearing the other side accepting responsibility for their impact, the ones that feel oppressed by the enthusiasm and pushing for clarity of the initiator or leader, was a solace.

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I entered this process deeply touched by a personal experience from the past week. Writing this now I feel even more emotions stirring inside me, feeling moved by the process we just went through. Usually, I am not particularly forthcoming with deeply personal topics within group settings. Yet, joining this morning I immediately trusted this group would be able to carry my topic if we chose it. It felt very enriching that we ended up going for commitment as a topic that is so closely connected to the one I brought up. It gave me a chance to connect with what was present within me through the lens of the group.

What touched me deeply was when love entered the stage. I still do not have words for why it moves me so much that love appears to be such a strong element in commitment. Yet, it also seems to hold so much revelatory power for me. I live in a city that is chronically non-committal. Berlin’s entire way of life is to not commit to anything ever. You always leave your options open, the grass might always be greener somewhere else. Writing this, I feel there is a realization coming as to why the role of love has touched me so deeply in this process: in my personal experience, Berlin is not a place that gives love. Berlin’s and my relationship status has been complicated since the beginning and I have been thinking about how this place has shaped my approach to life and relationships consciously and unconsciously.

Love as a role has also moved me because I strive to act, speak, and do from a place of love. Love is a powerful force, poetically speaking, maybe even the most powerful force. So compassionately, I also understand a person’s hesitation to commit, since powerful forces and emotions can feel daunting and overwhelming. Hell, I am full of non-committal attitudes; as I mentioned, Berlin has shaped me in more ways than one.

Yet, leaving this group process, I am again in awe of the power of many and the commitment I keep witnessing within the process work community to the processes at hand.

The question of how much commitment we need to get anywhere coupled with our collective commitment to voice the myriad of voices coming up got us far.

I take with me the realization that commitment between two people requires an equal sharing of power. At the same time, there is an inner child within me who is so deeply scared of this exact desire: the equal freedom to choose to commit and therefore, the possibility that the other person might choose to not commit. Most memorable for me is the realization of how much commitment I do bring, big and small, when my view of myself used to be that I struggle to commit.

In the bigger picture, commitment became a multifaceted, living creature for me through our collective group process. The sharing of power seems to shift from equal to less equal as groups get bigger and rules enter the stage as well.

What happens to commitment if there is systemic pressure on you to conform?

What role does leadership play in creating the conditions for voluntary commitment?

How do we motivate people to stay committed?

How does one as a leader deal with varying degrees of commitment and accepting each for their validity?

How can we align freedom and commitment, individually and collectively to create conditions as equal as possible?

I leave our group process full of learnings and reflections and am so grateful for being part of such a committed group of individuals.

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You see an excerpt of a grey traffic light pole. Two red hearts and a black rectangle sticker were stuck to the pole. The sticker reads: When does your Heart sing? You can see golden sunlight in the blurry background behind the pole.

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Sometimes i feel tired of leading and holding space. Holding space for all free birds that have the privilege to decide spontaneously if they join or not. Wow, I noticed that I am jealous of their freedom. I actually love to decide in every moment what best can happen in this very moment, but as a leader I feel people count on me and my presence, I pay for this role with my freedom.

Worldwork Journalism (WWJ) taught me to open up for this little surprise for who is coming, when, for how long with what limitations. Every session became very special because of the momentary combination of present energies. It is rather the ‘lonely’ responsibility that tires me and my shoulders and I would like to share more.

I felt especially touched when someone spoke about the not-seen commitment and the love it holds. I want to know more about that and explore how the co-lovers would like to contribute. Yes, I want to find ways and spaces for co-creation, learning to lead and to relate anew.

And again, I feel so deeply touched by what happened in this WWJ session.I can not imagine spending my time better. I feel love for the cause and the people that joined the invitation and I can’t wait to read the personal writing and co-craft stories out of that ….

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My experience was a lil different in that I could only listen, but in doing so I had wonderful inner conversations within. Love was piquant all around and I wondered what this meant to me. "I have so much love to give..." I felt, yet within I wondered...? "What about me?"

Again that made me wonder about commitment... and that made me envious of those who can do so easily. It feels like a task for me...yet while listening and reading...it felt like a selfless gift. It's so easy to give than to receive based on my personal life journey and experiences as I feel no obligation to do so...I just happily do...but when it comes to doing so for my inner protector, it's suddenly not as easy

And then it hit me. You can't give what you don't have. It's got to start from within..."So its been inside all along then?" That's the message I needed and thats the message my body tried to get me to understand. I have a selfless duty to myself first, against my inner critic and towards my inner growth journey. That's my commitment role in this...Where should I start? Beats me but I gotta catch up and have fun with this no?

Commit or not commit? Well...that's a question best answered from within. I gotta nourish myself and get strong enough to feed others. Perhaps start with giving myself the same selfless love I give to the universe and again appreciate the love I get as well...Following this I'd say we're off to a great start🌸🌸✨✨

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Sadness has become very present at this PW, and in some way, it needs more attention. It is the loneliness of the leader, it is also the resistance of the world to change. It is not listening sometimes to the voices of those in front of you, paying attention, letting them speak. It is not looking at your own heart.

It is SADNESS.

Above all, I am surprised by the greatness of this sadness, it is very, very great.

In some way it overwhelms me, and above all, I tell myself that sadness has to have a place in this world.

Sometimes commitment covers up our feelings and that makes us not see each other.

That is what I think I have learned today.

Sometimes seeing the other side means not going so fast, giving more space to co-create. Listen to the voices that say “I am different.”

Today I hear sweet voices that speak and express love in their tone, I don't want any living being to suffer... I want us to be in this together.

When our feelings, when our being can express itself, there can be communication with the other side… At this moment, leadership can’t be dictatorship, and maybe the dialogue can start.

Commitment is love.

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The topic of commitment and the group process got me into mixed feelings. On one side I perceive commitment as something where I have my dedication, my passion and love. It’s intrinsic, it comes from within myself. On another side I feel a polarising voice over me because it’s like a voice that is coming from outside, and dictates me those goals, rules. It’s systemic, there’s a lot of control and less agency.

If I look at the semantics and follow the etymology of the word it comes from Latin for unite, connect and bring together, and also for release and let go.

Hearing different voices and changing roles with intention and compassion for all sides has been a big learning for me on how to have more readiness to follow, more agency and awareness and not bringing harm to others, neither to myself.

Going with the flow while keeping in mind the goals has the energy of a dance where there is a new amplitude, a new understanding of relationship with myself, with others, with the world. There’s more air to breathe in and breathe out, more love, cooperation and co-creation. So was the atmosphere during the group process, all about relationships and shared responsibility and fluidity. It was very touching and beautiful and I feel grateful to everyone for creating such a unique space.

Sending much love to all,

Marina

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This was an absolutely moving process for me. From commitment to rules, from oppressing to loving, from being enthusiastic to forgetting the people who need more space and time to weighing the options, to painting the picture with care and not rushing into things. Everything seems to have a right to exist. How to find the right balance for furthering the project I love.

Right now I feel awash in the different roles and positions. What do I want to focus on - what do I need to focus on? But First things first: for myself I have to squarely admit that whatever I decide, whatever I get mixed-up in, whatever chaos I create, there is the big possibility that I will fail. For me it is necessary to be aware of that before I commit. At least that is what I recently learned about myself.

If I can still commit being aware of failure at the same time then I can be sure that I commit to what I love. Now I need to look at being criticized, at demands on my communication skills, what loads am I able to carry? How do I care for myself in  whatever role I am occupying? That is an ongoing process of learning and becoming aware and bending in the winds and maybe even storms of misunderstandings between so diverse players and stakeholders.

As I am adding these last words Halloween or - in the older tradition - Samhain has started and I am so happy to feel my spirit family gathering. They are such a huge support when the going gets rough and I start feeling alone and abandoned - which can happen to me in conflicts again and again. So, Yes, dear me: remember spending a few minutes - or more - being dead to regain your bearings.

beautiful and touching thank you all  <3

and love leading needs eldership

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Commitment for me was the hot topic of the last weeks and months, I did not expect to have the opportunity to work on it, today and I am very grateful for that

My Highlights

Commitment is love and it needs connection, time for this love, openness, there are very different ways to show your commitment and love, and there is no guarantee that it will succeed

Commitment needs common goals and visions

Commitment needs room to unfold

Commitment is not shown by following rules but perhaps also by resisting rules in order to make things better, for the common goal, those who resist might be the people who are most commited

the leadership role is always associated with power and projections,

Reflections on the topic

What does this mean for a leadership for commitment and love?

Leaders must make room for the love that wants to unfold

But who does the dishes? My feeling is that there is more and more work to do which is not so agreable and creative e.g. Instagram Posts

Any leadership will influence the group or the culture of togetherness, and quite obviously there is always a need for a renewal of commitment. Love needs nourishment. To take care for this, that is leadership, too

Leadership for commitment and love can also mean that people get the room/opportunity/skills to create an appreciative space for cocreation or that tey get support to create this space in a way that suits them and that suits the vision and purpose of the project. If the pressure from outside is not too great, then commitment will rise and then washing up is no longer a problem (or Instagram Posts)

Leadership for commitment and love would therefore also mean ensuring that the values and goals are alive and that an appreciative and space is created for cocreation or the group feels empowered to do so..

Commitment is also connected to ownership. It also arises in particular from jointly creating an unknown future according to values and principles that we have agreed upon and to which we can contribute in an appreciative safe space. But we also have to realize that the pressure on each individual is increasing due to the state of the world. We are part of it and we cannot detach ourselves from it. If the feeling of meaningfulness, that “its still worth the effort to commit and engage”  is decreasing, then the basis for commitment in appreciation and love is decreasing, as well. Without Meaningfulness, there is no commitment. Then, we will have to talk about what makes sense and what  is worth the effort. Commitment therefore needs also a shared feeling of meaningfulness, which brings me back to Salutogenesis: The feeling of meaningfulness is a strong factor contributing to resilience and health.

We need to create a caring culture which includes every person if its the leader or not,... and this is also topic of leadership

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Putting aside a request to commit – no one can really make you do that, thankfully. Commitment is born of love, born of interest, of enthusiasm, of passion.

Damn those who commit – for they are the trouble-makers, the rule-breakers, the challengers, the power fighters, and all so often they are seen as and sometimes really turn into… tyrants.

Bless those who commit – for they are the changers, the leaders, the authentic ones, the ones burning out, the doubting, the doubtless, the ones to rely on, and all so often the ones to hate.

Bless those who commit differently. In a bold way. In a silent way. Taking space. Needing more space. Acting fast. Taking time.

And yes, with all the sensitivity to power dynamics and diversity, those who tend to project the earlier experience of an oppressor to the committed leader no matter what they do – please go to therapy) But the committed leaders, watch yourself to not really slide down to becoming a tyrant, or we will watch after you)

With all that, I struggle – does personal commitment to any other adult human being (not talking of one’s own children) ever make sense? What does it even mean?

And after all, isn’t a single, most profound, universal and somewhat impersonal truth (that of a buddhist vow kind) the only thing worth committing to?

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Commitments:  different aspects like rules, power, expectations vs love, trust, inclusion.

From school I remembered that If I do everything that is required they will love me, I will deserve praise if I do as expected. But is it a true commitment or my twisted interpretation?

Commitment to the idea, not to the rules.

Leadership vs power issue vs commitment / unfair as it might be considered as dictatorship.

Encourage me to step in my leadership, if I am silent or not following your instructions or ideas, it does not mean that I am not committed. I am just different.

I am sad if you do not hear me, as commitment comes out of love and care, people think you have the power and I need to defend my choice.

To deeply relate you need no rules but shared goals and responsibilities. Give me more space, share your ideas with me, so we can commit to this commitment together.

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Everytime someone spoke I could feel an energy in me and I could feel that part in me. I can feel the leader role and the switch from leader to dictator the more I don’t feel commitment from others in something I feel strongly, the more I have a part in me that feels a deep compelling urge to find ways to make them commit.. and deepening that role helped me move onto recognising how love impacts commitment.

I also strongly recognise in me the strong pull away from commitment to wanting anarchy and freedom. The biggest shift I felt was recognising the link between commitment and love and seeing how the dictator role and the role of pushing against commitment pushes love and passion away. I was also thinking about commitment in relation to power and ownership of different ideas and how love softens and embraces and acknowledges all of this diversity in me.

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Who are you to tell me that I need to commit to something?

Who gave you permission to disturb my freedom?

I know what it’s like to commit and follow the rules and take on responsibilities and hate myself for not being able to follow these responsibilities, because they are not really my choice. This is enough for me. Now I am choosing what I want to commit to.

And then someone says - love. We can only commit out of love. And everything shifts.

Yes, LOVE. I realize that I am deeply committed to my family, my partner and children, for many many years. With all the difficulties, challenges, responsibilities, failings and so on. It is something that is not seen or valued in the outside world. I am not always good at it. Sometimes I am so tired. Sometimes I want to run away. But I keep going. Out of love. Nothing else could keep me there. And I want to appreciate it. I am grateful for this power of love to help me to commit to something so truly, to care so deeply.