# data[].attributes.body
Leaving students are invited to participate in a farewell circle where others can formally share farewell and exchange contact info.

# data[].attributes.body
School gives farewell gifts (Ghana flag and school t-shirt, which friends can sign).

# data[].attributes.body
Publicly recognise the contributions that they have made to the LCS community

# data[].attributes.body
Hand out post cards with the student's new address already printed on it.

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Students: Advice/resources about new school

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Students: Advice/resources about new school

# data[].attributes.body
Helping leaving students learn about their new school before leaving, choosing courses, etc.

# data[].attributes.body
Individual check-ins with leaving students to support their transition (farewell book? RAFT?)

# data[].attributes.body
Students receive a stuffed animal - Lincoln Lion and a goodbye book which people can sign. We also recognize the student in our closing circle.

# data[].attributes.body
Share info with new school about transition challenges that leaving students may be facing (how long at previous school? attendance at transition support events? social-emotional challenges? how to support arrival?).

# data[].attributes.body
Host a series of group meetings with leavers and stayers (friends of leavers?) to prepare transition: friend book, RAFT, etc.

# data[].attributes.body
Near the end of the school year, schedule an assembly where leavers are individually and collectively recognised.

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Students: Review Student Handbook of new school

# data[].attributes.subject
Students: Review Student Handbook of new school

# data[].attributes.body
Take the time to review the student handbook, so they know what is expected of them and what they can expect from the school.

# data[].attributes.body
Create a photo album to give as a farewell gift, so the memories stay fresh.

# data[].attributes.body
The PTO hosts a party for all leaving parents and gives some small token of appreciation as a souvenir.

# data[].attributes.body
PTOs form a network across countries, which permits them to share information about leaving/arriving parents with each other, easing the transition and creating contacts to next country's parents.

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Parents: Coffee/lunch/dinner outings for leaving parents

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Parents: Coffee/lunch/dinner outings for leaving parents

# data[].attributes.headline
Parents: 1:1 meeting with Head of School (HoS)

# data[].attributes.subject
Parents: 1:1 meeting with Head of School (HoS)

# data[].attributes.body
Offer an opportunity to meet briefly with the HoS to discuss transition and what can be done to improve it.

# data[].attributes.body
Host a series of group meetings with leavers and stayers (friends of leavers?) to prepare transition: friend book, RAFT, etc.

# data[].attributes.body
Help others (students, parents, teachers) understand the different reasons for leaving, which may for may not involve an element of choice.

# data[].attributes.headline
Parents: Counselor Check-Ins after leaving

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Parents: Counselor Check-Ins after leaving

# data[].attributes.body
Offering parents who have left to continue attending those occasional parent transition talks that are offered online so they can continue to feel connected to their previous community.

# data[].attributes.body
Ensuring leaving teachers feel loved and appreciated for what they contributed to the school during their stay.

# data[].attributes.headline
Students: Access to counselors and support teachers 

# data[].attributes.subject
Students: Access to counselors and support teachers 

# data[].attributes.body
Counselors and support teachers reach out to and develop relations with incoming students early on so communication lines are opened.

# data[].attributes.body
Assigning a peer to help arriving students navigate the first days of school.

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ES students mid year arrival: welcome email to faculty/staff introducing student 

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ES students mid year arrival: welcome email to faculty/staff introducing student 

# data[].attributes.body
Here is an example of what we do in the ES:

New Student Info Sheet

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ES counselor checks in with student right when they arrive and then every 6 weeks thereafter for the remainder of the school year.

# data[].attributes.body
Running weekly lunch/check-in sessions for grades at the beginning of the semesters for 4-6 weeks

# data[].attributes.headline
Students: Welcome email prior to arrival

# data[].attributes.subject
Students: Welcome email prior to arrival

# data[].attributes.body
Send welcome email to arriving students prior to arrival with key info (course choices, after-school activity choices, assigned buddy, 'get-to-know-you survey', etc.)

# data[].attributes.body
Providing necessary language support for EAL learners

# data[].attributes.body
Giving whole family orientation to school upon their arrival (campus tour, tech integration for laptops/cell phones, introducing communication channels, etc.)

# data[].attributes.body
PTO organizes a night out for all new parents to get to know one another (and some of the staying parents).

# data[].attributes.body
Room parents arrange a social event for all new parents of students in that grade level.

# data[].attributes.body
Arrange for a farewell party near the end of the school year (and the end of the semester?) to send off leaving students appropriately.

# data[].attributes.body
Provide informative events for new parents, not just about school information.

# data[].attributes.body
Teachers provide updates on how new students are fitting in and adjusting to their transition.

# data[].attributes.body
Arrange an (evening?) event for parents to get to know the teaching team and open up communication channels.

# data[].attributes.headline
Parents: Information about common interest groups

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Parents: Information about common interest groups

# data[].attributes.body
Gather information from parents to create common interest groups (based on shared culture, hobbies, interests, etc.).

# data[].attributes.body
To create connections; share info and ideas for enjoying Accra

# data[].attributes.body
Social buddy, school buddy (made up of stayers)

# data[].attributes.body
Create and maintain a parent WhatsApp group for sharing information - with clear boundaries of what is acceptable to post (and what isn't).

# data[].attributes.body
Include parents in the Transition Team.

# data[].attributes.headline
Parents: 1:1 Meeting with Head of School (HoS) and/or Principal

# data[].attributes.subject
Parents: 1:1 Meeting with Head of School (HoS) and/or Principal

# data[].attributes.body
Arrange an individual 5-10 minute meeting with new parents and HoS.

# data[].attributes.body
Clarify for incoming parents how/where to find relevant information about students' academics, school events, after school activities, etc.

# data[].attributes.body
PTO arranges bus tour of local places of interest, invites new parents: informal, informative and fun! Host other social events for parents periodically.

# data[].attributes.body
Plan events outside of school involving parents, teachers and students to socialise and get to know one another (Halloween, Thanksgiving, other holidays).

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Students: Use stayers' institutional memory to orient arrivers

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Students: Use stayers' institutional memory to orient arrivers

# data[].attributes.body
Stayers have institutional memory that is invaluable - use it and give stayers recognition/responsibility!

# data[].attributes.body
Provide support and advice on how to say farewell to leavers

# data[].attributes.body
In addition to professional orientation, provide social orientation with social events, logistical support (shopping, internet access, etc.).

# data[].attributes.body
Take the time to review the teacher handbook so they know what is expected of them and what they can expect from the school.

# data[].attributes.headline
Students: Bonding activity for stayers only

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Students: Bonding activity for stayers only

# data[].attributes.body
Laser tag or pizza party

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Review a country/culture handbook that provides some background information on the host country/culture.

# data[].attributes.body
Encourage teachers to arrive early to experience the country a bit before getting caught up with work.

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Assign a returning teacher to arrivers, who will help to orient them to the new country and school in the first few weeks.

# data[].attributes.body
Arrange social events our trips for arriving teachers to socialise and bond with each other (perhaps without administrators present?).

# data[].attributes.body
When a student leaves, have stayers speak about leavers and what they have appreciated about them.

# data[].attributes.body
Ask stayers to be social buddies for arriving teachers.

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Staff: Included in transition support process

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Staff: Included in transition support process

# data[].attributes.body
Include teachers in the conversations and support initiatives that are in place for leavers and arrivers.

# data[].attributes.body
Give stayers an opportunity to bid a proper farewell to leavers, perhaps in a social setting.

# data[].attributes.body
Create some mark at the school for leavers to commemorate their stay at the school (handprint, brick, plaque, etc.)

# data[].attributes.headline
Staff: Exit interview with Head of School (HoS)

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Staff: Exit interview with Head of School (HoS)

# data[].attributes.body
Offer leaving teachers an opportunity to meet individually with HoS to discuss transition and suggestions for improvement of transition process.

# data[].attributes.body
Offer an opportunity to debrief with counselors about the transition process and what can be done to improve it.

# data[].attributes.headline
Staff: Celebration of Leaving Staff Assembly

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Staff: Celebration of Leaving Staff Assembly

# data[].attributes.body
Hold an all-staff assembly to celebrate the contributions that teachers made during their stay. Permit stayers to bid farewell publicly.

# data[].attributes.body
Host a series of group meetings with leavers and stayers (friends of leavers?) to prepare transition: friend book, RAFT, etc.

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Students/Parents/Staff: Invest in your NEST

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Students/Parents/Staff: Invest in your NEST

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N: Navigate your RAFT

E: Express emotions

S: Stay connected

T: Trust your toolbox

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(Photo source: Dr. Rebecca Bower)-----------------------------------------------------------

For cross cultural kids, global mobility is an inextricable part of their experience growing up within the international school community. Transitions are inescapable and impact all students. When not managed well, research has shown that mobility can have a negative impact on development, wellbeing, and academic success. As Doug Ota (2014) suggests in his book, Safe Passage, effectively supporting all students experiencing the effects of mobility within an international school setting is integral for creating a "cumulative change that will LAST;" it is necessary to support the Leavers, Arrivers, as well as the ST ayers.

Mahoney and Barron's 2020 report, Surveying the Landscape, found that Stayers were being supported in less than 15 percent of international schools. As Leavers flee the nest and Arrivers touch down, the nest can feel lonely, unpredictable, and changed forever for Stayers. Although Stayers are not moving themselves, the world around them undoubtedly is, and supporting them to feel able to manage their new reality successfully is integral for the wellbeing of both the Stayer and those around them. Stayers are the international school stabilizers and, as Ota wrote, "without Stayers who are emotionally ready and willing to connect, the Arrivers have nobody to connect with."

So how can we support our Stayers? By helping them "invest in their NEST."
N: Navigate Your RAFT
To manage transitions well, David Pollock and Ruth Van Reken (2009) suggest building a RAFT (reconciliation, affirmation, farewell, think destination), a process that is as equally important for Stayers as it is for Leavers in preparing for change. Repairing ruptures within friendships (reconciliation) is the first step to lessening the emotional burden of damaged relationships and is key to the successful navigation of the RAFT. Acknowledging appreciation of Leavers can take many forms, all of which are founded on expressing gratitude and thanks for being an important part of the Stayer's life (affirmation). What's important is that the thank yous are genuine and meaningful, no matter the mode of delivery (conversation, cards, letters, email, etc.). Saying goodbye (for now) is important, knowing when it will happen is empowering, and deciding how to do this makes it meaningful. Farewells may also include places or activities that are important to both the Stayer and Leaver. With the loss of a friend can come significant changes to the social landscape for Stayers. At a time when the nest feels empty and shaken, think destination, or perhaps think ahead, is about Stayers taking steps to prepare for this change by staying connected and remaining open to what comes next.

E: Express Emotions

The best gift for any Stayer is a "license to feel." With loss comes grief and that's just as true for Stayers as it is for Leavers. Mixed emotions (excitement, anger, helplessness, isolation, relief, sadness, shock, rejection, curiosity, fear, loneliness, and jealousy, to name a few) can feel messy and overwhelming, yet are completely natural and understandable responses to transitions. What's more, the Stayers' journey of mixed emotions often doesn't end when connections are formed and life feels more on track, as this is when feelings of guilt for making new friends and "moving on" might start to manifest. Stayers need not only a "license to feel" but also permission to express both positive and difficult feelings in an adaptive and healthy way.

Helping Stayers to identify who their trusted adults are from the outset is important for their ongoing support. Talking through feelings with a trusted adult or for older students, a trusted friend, allows the Stayer to understand their emotions, and to feel heard and understood by those around them. Hugs, a listening ear, supportive words, and a safe space to unpack feelings can go a long way in validating the emotional experience of Stayers. As Ota suggests, it is important to establish how Stayers feel about their friend leaving, forming new connections and friendships, and about their life in the school and wider community. Of course, there are many and varied ways to express emotions in a healthy way, whether this is through journaling, music, letter writing, art, physical activity, tears, etc. Having healthy and adaptive ways to express emotions is key to managing them well.
S: Stay Connected
There are three main areas for connection: with the Leaver, with those in the Stayer's current community, and with themselves. First, for Stayers, knowing how they will keep in touch with friends who are leaving the nest is reassuring, whether it's through social media, video calls, emails, or good old-fashioned snail mail. Exchanging contact details and building realistic expectations of what communication will look like in the future creates predictability and comfort. Secondly, maintaining a connection with Leavers, whilst keeping balance and space for nourishing and establishing new connections, is crucial in building a sense of belonging for Stayers. An important step towards strengthening existing connections and forming new ones is remaining open to their potential. This involves active engagement and investment in creating and embracing opportunities to explore friendships with others, through after school activities and clubs as well as playdates, sleepovers, and gatherings. The international community also presents a helpful opportunity for Stayers to get involved in welcoming and supporting new students (Arrivers) as a new student buddy. If your school does not have this established, it's worth speaking to an administrator, counselor, or admissions personnel to see if this can be implemented. Thanks to the innate kindness and goodwill of children, there is rarely a shortage of volunteers for such a program. Last, and perhaps most important, is for Stayers to be in tune with themselves by considering what's important to them. Striving to stay connected to these values by making choices that are in alignment with them will positively impact connections with others.

T: Trust Your Toolbox

Supporting Stayers to identify, build, and refine a set of adaptive strategies that work for them is something that can begin from the moment they arrive. For Stayers, the intention is for this toolbox to become a personal set of healthy "go-to" strategies which they can rely upon when experiencing difficult emotions. These are some tried and tested tools that are known to activate a helpful interaction between the three pathways (thoughts, feelings, and actions) that Ota describes as essential in successfully managing the transition cycle.

Stayers are their very own best resource. Recognizing, celebrating, and utilizing the best aspects of their personality, also known as their character strengths, can positively impact and guide how Stayers feel, think, and choose to act while managing loss and change. Identifying what is important to the Stayer, i.e., their individual values, can guide the Stayer to act in ways that will be meaningful and impactful to them. Setting short-term goals (e.g., introducing themselves to a new student, attending tryouts for a sports team, rehearsing for a school play, beginning a new musical instrument, etc.) can help them to be actively involved in their school and community.

In times when emotions feel overwhelming and too much, it is important that Stayers are able to regulate their emotions using their toolbox. This might involve using distraction techniques, breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, taking a break, seeking support, or engaging in activities that are enjoyable to the Stayer. Managing difficult feelings is hard enough without the Stayer becoming their own self-critic; instead, Stayers can be encouraged to practice a compassionate and kind pattern of self-talk.

It can be easy for Stayers to focus their attention on how things were (the past) or to get lost in worries about how things will be (the future). We can support Stayers to live in the present moment by supporting them to develop a daily gratitude habit. Pausing to reflect and be thankful can take many forms, including quiet moments, journaling, gratitude jars, or a family share of three things you're grateful for. In this way, we encourage Stayers to remain open-minded about what lies ahead and to take each day at a time. Where thoughts become unhelpful and begin to detrimentally impact feelings, equipping Stayers with a framework for modifying their thoughts, such as the three Cs (catch your thought, check for evidence, change your thinking), can also be invaluable in shaping Stayers to cultivate balanced thinking.

NESTing is an important ongoing process for all Stayers. We believe that by carefully considering these steps we can support the students we care about to thrive where they are now. NESTers are not only students; we would suggest that nurturing the same four elements is equally as important for families and faculty in the wider international school community. After all, NESTing takes a village.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Rebecca Bower and Steven Ayling are school counselors at the International School of Basel, Switzerland, and co-authors of The RAFT That Soared; A Story and Transition Journal for Cross Cultural Kids (out soon).

Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @isbaselofficial, @ISBasel, #ISBasel

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Supporting Stayers To Thrive: Invest in Your Nest | The International Educator (TIE Online)

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For cross cultural kids, global mobility is an inextricable part of their experience growing up within the international school community...

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Ensure that WhatsApp groups are rolled over into the next grade so parents continue to feel connected and informed.

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Providing 1/2 to 1 day for leavers to be able to have a business day for canceling bank accounts, visas, etc...

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Staff: A physical take away from the school

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Staff: A physical take away from the school

# data[].attributes.body
Create a logistics handbook that includes a timeline of tasks to be completed before leaving (flights, vacate apartment, police check, bank account closing). Could also include links to resources for emotional support

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Transportation or arrangements made at school for visa and medical check renewals.

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Making sure workout groups, activities, etc. are sharable and open to all.

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Online yearbook

digital portfolios

Difficult to move with "stuff"

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A card or poster where colleagues are encouraged to write something they appreciated about the person leaving.

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Staff: Able to show appreciation or goodbye 

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Staff: Able to show appreciation or goodbye 

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Divisional or all-staff gathering....grade levels or someone is in charge of a goodbye

# data[].attributes.body
Update & re-publish a bio of the leaver (voluntary) that highlights their contributions and tells where they are going. Publish on the website, maybe social media.

# data[].attributes.body
To provide the opportunity for staff to get to know others from different departments, have assigned seating or ice breakers before meetings.

# data[].attributes.body
Truman Group - reminders about our insurance and access to social/emotional support

# data[].attributes.headline
Staff: Ask about access or continuation of services

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Staff: Ask about access or continuation of services

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Truman group, therapy/counseling

# data[].attributes.body
Opportunities to sit with a real person to learn how to best use our insurance, who to call, etc...

Reading through all the paperwork is overwhelming!

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Count down who has been at the school the longest at graduation. We would honor those graduating but all students and staff were able to start standing and they would go down in series of 5 year.

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Choose a select group of students, faculty, and parents and survey them at the end of the school year about their "stayer" experience. Ask what we could do better to support them.

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Host a quiz show or write stories about LCS to share with others, especially the arrivers

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Having a historical sharing session for stayers to remind them where they've been and remember things.

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Be clear about guidelines and expectations of professional and personal buddies.

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LCS Social & Professional Buddy Description (Revised Jan 2022)

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Have something to use when you come back to campus you are always welcome and it's staying active even if you are gone. I personally like keeping my ID's of the places I've worked.

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Parents: Stay informed about kids' possible emotional challenges

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Parents: Stay informed about kids' possible emotional challenges

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Teachers/counsellors keep parents informed about social-emotional challenges that staying students may be experiencing as friends leave/new students arrive.

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Chess club, book club, Rubik's cube club, Board Games Evening

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Give parents an opportunity so share thoughts for parents (and their kids) during the transition phase

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Parents: Discussion groups on how to raise a TCK in Ghana

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Parents: Discussion groups on how to raise a TCK in Ghana

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Invite Ghanaians (and others) to share their experience raising TCKs in Ghana, highlighting challenges and opportunities

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Parents: Ask local stayers where they build community

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Parents: Ask local stayers where they build community

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Parents: Discuss Pinto vs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

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Parents: Discuss Pinto vs. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

# data[].attributes.body
Compare and contrast different ways needs can be met, depending on cultural context

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Have a parent in charge of belonging/outreach under the DEIJ umbrella, available for other parents to talk to

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Institutionalise committees of interest within the PTO structure

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Create a padlet of parents' talents: Who are we? What do we know? How can we help?

Networking, career development, upskilling (strengthens belonging and provides helpful resources)

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Coffee mornings for stayer families to guide them on how to deal with the changes happening

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Parents: Bulletin Board advertising upcoming events (school-related and otherwise)

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Parents: Bulletin Board advertising upcoming events (school-related and otherwise)

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Create something for parents to look forward to.

Perhaps at school pool?

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Parents: Greater connections to host culture

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Parents: Greater connections to host culture

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Make the visiting parents' stay feel purposeful, enjoyable and meaningful