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"Servitude Attitude - We have to care about the people we are serving." 

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"Servitude Attitude - We have to care about the people we are serving." 

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-never impose
-focus on the positive

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Connected this belief to Covey's habit: "See first to understand, then be understood."

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To be nonjudgemental does not mean we ignore reality. It means we don't share our perceptions in a way that diminishes others.

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When people come together to set goals, a real bond can develop, a deep affection can grow, and important life-long friendships can take root.

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"Counsel in a direct, confrontational manner, and client resistance goes up. Counsel in a reflective, supportive manner, and resistance goes down while change increases."

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"Counsel in a direct, confrontational manner, and client resistance goes up. Counsel in a reflective, supportive manner, and resistance goes down while change increases."

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I will leave conversations feeling more alive for having experienced them

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Communication Trust-the willingness to share information, tell the truth, admit mistakes, maintain confidentiality, give and receive constructive feedback, and speak with good purpose.

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Survey given to all different professions (150,000 people) included question, "At work, do my opinions seem to count?"

Teachers at bottom of the list - less than construction workers and service workers
Implication- we need to keep this in mind as coaches

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Seeing conversation as a two-way interaction is to live out our true respect for other people whom which we communicate with.

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6 Kinds of "Advocacy Responses" that can engender resistance

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6 Kinds of "Advocacy Responses" that can engender resistance

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-Arguing for change
-Assuming the Expert Role
-Criticizing, Shaming, or Blaming
-Labeling
-Being in a Hurry
-Claiming Preeminence

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My Voice Survey (6-12 students): 46% feel students have a voice in decision making; 52% believe teachers are willing to listen to students- teachers feel the same way

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People are rarely motivated by other people's plans for them.

When a professional has no voice in the plan and are told what to do, they are unlikely to be motivated to embrace the plan.

Top-down directives=half-hearted compliance and little commitment to meaningful change.

"When you insist, they will resist."

-Autonomy allows:
-Freedom to choose
The opportunity to be authentic.
-One to feel complete
-One to draw her own conclusions
-One to have control over his own life
-One to differentiate herself

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closed questions are judgements in disguise

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We should act like they are doing us a favor by talking with us AND THEY REALLY ARE BECAUSE THEY ARE SO CRUNCHED FOR TIME. We have to show that we value them as a person.

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Conversation should be life-giving.

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Conversation should be back and forth.

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I don't judge others.

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I believe people should have a lot of autonomy.

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I want to hear what others have to say

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I see conversation partners as equals