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Virginia’s Fancy Feast

The sky was a brilliant blue on that spring morning. The sun was a bright gold, like a new penny in the sky. Virginia felt the cool breeze gently brush past her skin and heard the birds singing in the trees above. A smile spread across her face as she thought about how she and her family had finally settled in the long journey from England. The 10-year-old stood on the edge of the forest, looking at the new community that her family and friends started in this new world. “We have survived a difficult trip,” she said to herself. “We have built our homes from trees and have cleared land so that we can start planting, and avoided the scary Indians we’ve heard about. I think we should celebrate! All of our crops would make a delicious feast,” she continued. She thought to herself, maybe I should go check the garden to see what vegetables have grown to harvest for my feast.

Virginia skipped to her garden, humming a tune as branches crackled under her feet. Suddenly, she stopped and froze. Her eyes grew wide, and her mouth dropped open. “Oh no!” she shouted so loudly that the birds fluttered out of the trees above and the squirrels scampered away. In Virginia’s garden, her plants were brown, dry and falling over. All of the tomato plants shriveled to the size of peas, and the peas shrunk to the size of dust! Even the rabbits did not want to nibble on the gray lettuce leaves. “What am I going to do?” cried Virginia. “I can’t have a feast when we have no food!”

“I can help you,” a small voice quietly said from behind a tree. “What? Who is there?” Virginia said shakily. “My name is Elan.” A boy stepped out from behind the giant oak tree. He had paint on his face, long brown hair tied in a braid and was wearing a tan deer skin garment that hung down to his knees. He didn’t look like the colonist children that Virginia played with. Virginia took two steps back, her hands quivering. “Don’t be frightened. I won’t hurt you,” Elan reassured her. Silence hung in the air for what seemed like forever. Finally, Virginia answered, “My name is Virginia.” She took three steps toward the unfamiliar boy. “How can you help me?” she asked. “My tribe has lived on this land for generations. We know how to survive by respecting the land. I can teach you how to plant seeds so that your crops will grow big and strong.” Virginia was unsure if she should trust this new person. I don’t think I have any choice if I want a feast, Virginia thought to herself, because I certainly did not succeed when I tried it on my own. This boy might save the day if I let him help me. “Ok. I would really like your help. Thank you for being willing to help me,” Virginia responded. “Let’s get started,” Elan excitedly replied.

Elan knelt next to the brown garden and began tugging, pulling and uprooting the dead plants. Virginia slowly approached the garden and knelt down beside the stranger. She put her hands into the soil, reaching for the roots and tossing the old stems and leaves onto the ground next to her. Elan paused and leaned back, sitting on his heels. He turned his head to watch Virginia. Virginia stopped, too. A smile as big as a watermelon slice appeared on Elan’s face, and Virginia smiled back at her new friend. They continued working until the garden was clean and fresh. “We need new seeds,” Elan instructed. “Do you have the Three Sisters?” he asked. “I don’t have any sisters,” Virginia answered. Elan laughed. “No, no. I mean the three types of seeds that my people plant: beans, corn and squash. We call them the Three Sisters,” he explained. “Oh, I’ll go get some!” Virginia exclaimed. She raced to her cabin, running so fast that the door slammed against the wall. She stretched on her tip-toes to reach the jars of seeds above the fireplace. She collected the three glass jars and cradled them in her arms like a baby as she carefully walked back to the garden. “Here, Elan,” she said. “Magnificent!” he replied. Elan showed Virginia how to poke her finger into the soft soil, drop in one seed and cover it with the dirt. They worked side by side, planting the Three Sisters in 12 rows. Sweat dripped down their foreheads, but five hours later, the garden was finished. “Now all we have to do is water this everyday,” Elan taught her.

Virginia and Elan met everyday that summer to check and water the plants. A few months later, the leaves began to change from green to red, orange and yellow, and the sun everyday was like a lamp that was slowly losing its power. Early one morning, Virginia tiptoed to the garden so that she would not wake her sleeping community. She saw that Elan was already there, watering the crops. “Oh, Elan!” she whispered. Her hand flew to her mouth and tears formed in her eyes. In front of her were corn stalks taller than she was, beans on stems so green and squash that were a rainbow of colors. “You did it!” she exclaimed. “No, we did it together,” Elan replied humbly. “This is going to be such an amazing feast!”

Later that week, Virginia set the plates on the table and laid out platters of sweet cornbread, juicy beans, and succulent squash. Soon after, her mother, father, brothers and the rest of the colonists joined the celebration. Laughter and excited chatter could be heard through the forest. Elan and his family walked toward the table but stood a few feet away. The talking stopped, and one by one, the colonists gasped and looked up at the Native Americans. Virginia stood. “Welcome, my friends! I am overjoyed that you could join us! Please have a seat with us,” she invited. Turning to the colonists, Virginia explained, “This is Elan and his family. They taught me how to plant our crops. Without them, we would not have this wonderful feast! We should show them our gratitude.” Suddenly, the colonists burst into applause. “Please, please, sit with us!” they called out. Elan and his family smiled and joined in the feast.

From that day forward, Virginia and the colonists became friends with Elan and the Native Americans. They learned that sometimes you need help and that you can learn from people who are different from you when you are open minded.

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Scene 1:

Good - Virginia is a girl. She lives in a house in the woods. She wants to celebrate by having a feast.

Better - Virginia lives in one of the colonies. She lives in a cabin in a developing settlement. She is so happy that her family survived the journey to America. She wants to celebrate with all of her family and friends. So, she decides that she wants to have a feast!

Best - The sky was a brilliant blue on that spring morning. The sun was a bright gold, like a new penny in the sky. Virginia felt the cool breeze gently brush past her skin and heard the birds singing in the trees above. A smile spread across her face as she thought about how she and her family had finally settled in the long journey from England. The 10-year-old stood on the edge of the forest, looking at the new community that her family and friends started in this new world. “We have survived a difficult trip,” she said to herself. “We have built our homes from trees and have cleared land so that we can start planting, and avoided the scary Indians we’ve heard about. I think we should celebrate! All of our crops would make a delicious feast,” she continued. She thought to herself, maybe I should go check the garden to see what vegetables have grown to harvest for my feast.

Aim: Writers elaborate by using dialogue and narration.

Scene 2:

Good - Virginia looked at her garden and saw that there were no crops. She was worried that she could not have the feast she wanted.

Better - Virginia ran to her garden and stopped. She was shocked to see that her crops were brown and dead. She wondered, “What am I going to do about my feast?”

Best - Virginia skipped to her garden, humming a tune as branches crackled under her feet. Suddenly, she stopped and froze. Her eyes grew wide, and her mouth dropped open. “Oh no!” she shouted so loudly that the birds fluttered out of the trees above and the squirrels scampered away. In Virginia’s garden, her plants were brown, dry and falling over. All of the tomato plants shriveled to the size of peas, and the peas shrunk to the size of dust! Even the rabbits did not want to nibble on the gray lettuce leaves. “What am I going to do?” cried Virginia. “I can’t have a feast when we have no food!”

Scene 3:

Good - She saw a boy named Elan nearby. He said he could help her. “Ok, I will help you,” Elan said.

Better - “I can help you,” a boy named Elan said. “Who are you?” Virginia said. “I am Elan, a Native American boy,” Elan said. “How can you help me?” Virginia said. “I can teach you how to plant crops,” Elan said. “Great!” Virginia said. “Let’s get started,” Elan said.

Best - “I can help you,” a small voice quietly said from behind a tree. “What? Who is there?” Virginia said shakily. “My name is Elan.” A boy stepped out from behind the giant oak tree. He had paint on his face, long brown hair tied in a braid and was wearing a tan deer skin garment that hung down to his knees. He didn’t look like the colonist children that Virginia played with. Virginia took two steps back, her hands quivering. “Don’t be frightened. I won’t hurt you,” Elan reassured her. Silence hung in the air for what seemed like forever. Finally, Virginia answered, “My name is Virginia.” She took three steps toward the unfamiliar boy. “How can you help me?” she asked. “My tribe has lived on this land for generations. We know how to survive by respecting the land. I can teach you how to plant seeds so that your crops will grow big and strong.” Virginia was unsure if she should trust this new person. I don’t think I have any choice if I want a feast, Virginia thought to herself, because I certainly did not succeed when I tried it on my own. This boy might save the day if I let him help me. “Ok. I would really like your help. Thank you for being willing to help me,” Virginia responded. “Let’s get started,” Elan excitedly replied.

Aim: Writers elaborate on their story by including small actions and story-telling.

Scene 4:

Good - Elan planted seeds in the garden, and Virginia helped him.

Better - Elan took out all of the dead plants. Virginia helped him. They smiled at each other because they were becoming friends. “We need new seeds,” Elan said. “I’ll get some!” Virginia yelled. She went to her cabin and got the seeds. Then, she went back to the garden. “Here, Elan.” Elan and Virginia planted the seeds for five hours. They were proud of themselves when they were done. “Water it everyday,” Elan taught her.

Best - Elan knelt next to the brown garden and began tugging, pulling and uprooting the dead plants. Virginia slowly approached the garden and knelt down beside the stranger. She put her hands into the soil, reaching for the roots and tossing the old stems and leaves onto the ground next to her. Elan paused and leaned back, sitting on his heels. He turned his head to watch Virginia. Virginia stopped, too. A smile as big as a watermelon slice appeared on Elan’s face, and Virginia smiled back at her new friend. They continued working until the garden was clean and fresh. “We need new seeds,” Elan instructed. “Do you have the Three Sisters?” he asked. “I don’t have any sisters,” Virginia answered. Elan laughed. “No, no. I mean the three types of seeds that my people plant: beans, corn and squash. We call them the Three Sisters,” he explained. “Oh, I’ll go get some!” Virginia exclaimed. She raced to her cabin, running so fast that the door slammed against the wall. She stretched on her tip-toes to reach the jars of seeds above the fireplace. She collected the three glass jars and cradled them in her arms like a baby as she carefully walked back to the garden. “Here, Elan,” she said. “Magnificent!” he replied. Elan showed Virginia how to poke her finger into the soft soil, drop in one seed and cover it with the dirt. They worked side by side, planting the Three Sisters in 12 rows. Sweat dripped down their foreheads, but five hours later, the garden was finished. “Now all we have to do is water this everyday,” Elan taught her.

Aim: Writers elaborate on their story by including small actions and story-telling.

Scene 5:

Good - Later that summer, Virginia and Elan went to the garden. They saw that the plants grew big and strong. They were excited. Now, they could have a feast!

Better - Virginia watered the plants everyday. In the fall, she went to the garden to check her crops. She was surprised to see how well the plants were doing! They were tall, strong and green. “Thank you, Elan, for teaching me how to survive here by growing crops. I could not have done it without you,” she explained. “You’re welcome,” Elan replied.

Best - Virginia and Elan met everyday that summer to check and water the plants. A few months later, the leaves began to change from green to red, orange and yellow, and the sun everyday was like a lamp that was slowly losing its power. Early one morning, Virginia tiptoed to the garden so that she would not wake her sleeping community. She saw that Elan was already there, watering the crops. “Oh, Elan!” she whispered. Her hand flew to her mouth and tears formed in her eyes. In front of her were corn stalks taller than she was, beans on stems so green and squash that were a rainbow of colors. “You did it!” she exclaimed. “No, we did it together,” Elan replied humbly. “This is going to be such an amazing feast!”

Aim: Writers end the story by having the character's problem resolved in a reasonable way and highlight the heart of the story (lesson/message)

Scene 6:

Good - Virginia had the feast for her community. The Native Americans joined them. They had a great time.

Better - Virginia set the table with all of the food. Her family and the community came to the feast. They were having a good time, but then Elan and his family came. Everyone was nervous, but Virginia welcomed them. “Come, eat with us!” She explained how Elan helped save the crops. Everyone was grateful. They invited them to sit down and eat with them. Soon, the colonists and Native Americans became friends.

Best - Later that week, Virginia set the plates on the table and laid out platters of sweet cornbread, juicy beans, and succulent squash. Soon after, her mother, father, brothers and the rest of the colonists joined the celebration. Laughter and excited chatter could be heard through the forest. Elan and his family walked toward the table but stood a few feet away. The talking stopped, and one by one, the colonists gasped and looked up at the Native Americans. Virginia stood. “Welcome, my friends! I am overjoyed that you could join us! Please have a seat with us,” she invited. Turning to the colonists, Virginia explained, “This is Elan and his family. They taught me how to plant our crops. Without them, we would not have this wonderful feast! We should show them our gratitude.” Suddenly, the colonists burst into applause. “Please, please, sit with us!” they called out. Elan and his family smiled and joined in the feast.

Ending that Does Not Make Sense - Too Unbelievable

Later that week, Virginia set the plates on the table and laid out platters of sweet cornbread, juicy beans, and succulent squash. Soon after, her mother, father, brothers and the rest of the colonists joined the celebration. All of the Native Americans, including Elan and his family joined, too. When the feast was over, Virginia and Elan decided to stay friends forever. They started texting each other every day. They would meet to ride horses and play basketball together. Other Native Americans heard about their great friendship, so the colonists and the Native Americans never fought again. In fact, because of Virginia, peace spread over the whole land, and the Americans never fought in another war.

Aim: Writers include a theme. They do this by explaining what the character learns from solving his or her problem.

Scene 7:

Good - Theme: Sometimes in life, you should be friends.

Better - Sometimes in life, you should be friends with people who are different from you.

Best - From that day forward, Virginia and the colonists became friends with Elan and the Native Americans. They learned that sometimes you need help and that you can learn from people who are different from you when you are open minded.

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DRAFT

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Bend 1- Generating Ideas by looking at images