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Be a Role Model: Find a Healthy Balance with Media and Technology

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Be a Role Model: Find a Healthy Balance with Media and Technology

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We've all seen that dad yakking away on his cell phone at the playground while his 3-year-old resorts to increasingly desperate measures to get his attention. We've also been that parent. We answer emails, update Facebook, take a conference call, and try to get in that one last text. The thing is, kids notice -- and they're not happy about it.

Lots of studies address the impact of screen time on kids, and guidelines show how much is appropriate at what age. But researchers are just beginning to look into the effect that parents' screen use has on kids. A Boston Medical Center study of how families at a restaurant interacted with each other when they used cell phones demonstrated that caregivers who were "highly absorbed" in their devices responded harshly to their kids' bids for attention. And in her book The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age, Catherine Steiner-Adair found that kids often feel they have to compete with devices for their parents' attention.

Most importantly, kids learn their screen habits from us. It might be easier if someone just gave parents a recommended daily time limit so we'd know when to stop. In the meantime, we'll need to find balance. But there's a huge motivator to change our behavior: The little girl on the play structure, the boy learning to skateboard, the twins playing dress-up. They're watching us, watching our phones. ( Learn more about the screen time habits of families with kids under 8 in Common Sense Media's most recent research.)
5 Ways to Find a Healthy Balance of Media and Technology
Be a role model. When kids are around, set an example by using media the way you want them to use it. Keep mobile devices away from the dinner table ( learn about our Device-Free Dinner initiative), turn the TV off when it's not being watched, and use a DVR to record shows to watch later.

Start good habits early. The secret to healthy media use is to establish time limits and stick to them. Start when your kids are young by setting screen limits that work for your family's needs and schedule. And don't just talk the talk -- walk the walk!

Use media together. Whenever you can, watch, play, and listen with your kids. Ask them what they think of the content. Share your values, and help kids relate what they learn in the media to events and other activities in which they're involved. With older kids, you can draw them out by sharing stuff from your Facebook and Instagram accounts.

Keep distractions to a minimum. You probably tell your kids to turn their phones off during homework time. Get rid of the stuff that distracts you, too. Hide your apps so they don't display, set your phone to "do not disturb," or shut down your devices during important family time.

Turn off work. Many parents feel they need to be constantly accessible to their jobs. But that's stressful, frustrating, and not realistic. Set boundaries for work time and family time.

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Be a Role Model: Find a Healthy Balance with Media and Technology

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Young kids learn how to use technology by watching their parents, so model healthy habits early by balancing media time with real time. Advice from Common Sense Media editors.

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FIVE TIPS TO BALANCE TECHNOLOGY USE IN YOUR FAMILY

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FIVE TIPS TO BALANCE TECHNOLOGY USE IN YOUR FAMILY

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Five tips to balance technology use in your family

Are you starting to feel like you or your children are spending more time in front of a computer, tablet or phone than with family and friends? Is technology keeping you apart instead of bringing you together? Do you feel a sense of panic when you realize you have left home without your phone? If the answer is yes, you are not alone.

We live in a digital world with technology abound: smart boards and tablets in classrooms, electronic health records in the doctor's office and homes aglow with laptops, smartphones, TVs, tablets and gaming systems. As pediatricians, we are often asked for advice as to how to balance the use of technology in the home. With summer upon us, we no longer have the school day and after school activities to automatically limit to the amount of time our children spend tuned in to technology at home. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children spend no more than two hours a day engaged in recreational screen time. Yet, the reality of recent research indicates that children are spending significantly more time plugged in.

The technology found in our homes is powerful and transforming the way we communicate and interact with our families. As pediatricians we hope to guide parents toward the benefits of this technology and away from the risks that can face families. While some of the practical benefits of communication and entertainment are clear when it comes to using technology in the family, the potential threats to family relationships may not be as clear. In her book, "The Big Disconnect Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age," Catherine Steiner-Adair points out the increase in time we now spend online or on devices is eroding the time we spend with the people around us and that this time spent tuned in is taking a much greater toll on family connection and childhood itself. When researchers interview children about their parents' use of technology, most children speak of their parents' attachment to their phone or computer and a desire for their parents to put down their devices and pay attention to them.

As you transition to your family's summer schedule, this is the perfect time to create a new family technology policy or reaffirm an existing policy. Here are five tips to keep technology use balanced and healthy for your family:

Tip one: Create a family technology policy

Make clear the devices that can be used, when they can be used and have a plan for monitoring usage and safety that is age appropriate for your child. Set clear consequences for not following the policy. Don't reward children with technology time that exceeds your established time limit.

Tip two: Be an educated role model

Monitor your own electronic use and model the balance of technology time you want your children to achieve. Follow the policy you set for the family. Children are tech savvy, and parents need to be clued in to the latest games, apps and social media that appeal to their children.

Tip three: Designate technology-free zones

Establish restricted areas in your home such as family meals and children's bedrooms and restricted times such as family social activities. Many children lose sleep to homework and after school activities and screen time should not add to their sleep deficit. Direct face-to-face communication is still our best tool in the family.

Tip four: Designate technology tune out times

Schedule regular family time in the evening and/or on weekends without screens. These times allow for quality interactions, playing games, cooking and being physically active together. Encourage children to plan or choose the activities for this time. Children need to preserve the art of relaxing and observing the world around them.

Tip five: Talk to other families

Collaborate and let other families know what you are doing. Inquire about their family policies. Work as a community to support one another in helping children find the balance between tuning in and tuning out.

For even more tips, talk to your pediatrician at your child's next check-up.

Dr. Sirota is a mother of three and a pediatrician in Chicago's northern suburbs. She also teaches medical students and pediatric residents as an Assistant Professor for Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine. In her free time she enjoys skiing, playing tennis and reading. While she treats most pediatric issues, she is passionate about the topics of complex chronic illness, developmental pediatrics and injury prevention. She currently treats patients for PediaTrust/Pediatric Partners a new private partnership of seven pediatric practices located in the north and northwest suburbs of Chicago.

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Five tips to balance technology use in your family - PediaTrust

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Tweet Share 0 +1 LinkedIn 0 Email Are you starting to feel like you or your children are spending more time in front of a computer, tablet or phone than with family and friends? Is technology keeping you apart instead of bringing you together? Do...

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