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April 30, 1975, I’m enraged, lost, dead man. Lam Son wasn’t my last battle, they lied to me. I haven’t seen my family in 20 years, I don’t know how they are; I’m 30 now, I lost most of my life here in Vietnam, they should have already let me go home, but they didn’t, they kept a special force of talented soldiers, we have to defend Saigon, we are like the best of the best, but we don’t want to be here. We were told that we had intel that he communist of North Vietnam might attack us today, I’ll keep an eye on the entrances to the city. I have a feeling that I’ll make it out of here, anyways tell my family I love them, that if don’t come back, ill take care of them from Heaven...

Diary found at Saigon after the battle, we believe that this soldier died that day with many others, and he was forced to stay even after his service was done.
Published Nov 16, 2018 by reporter Gabriel Noguera.

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It’s February 9th, we’ve just been told that we’re about to start Lam Son 719, or that already have we’ll just not be in the front lines, we cant really do much because wed can’t cross the border to Cambodia for legal reasons, some us are going to be going by air, yeah that’s me, Gen. Adams told me this might be my last battle here, I’m excited, I will leave this hellish place once this is done, but I feel bad for all the people that have to stay a little longer. I have written home since the first day, they wrote back, and said that they couldn’t work or anything because there is no men back at home, I want to go back, to seemly family, I’ll be happy again.

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It’s that time again, I’m back at the front. Not feeling terrible but also not feeling well. It’s been pretty calm the last days, ofcourse I know this because the boys have told everything that happened when I was gone. We are going for a drink later, its going to be fun. Food is great, I have no idea what happened here but it has gotten better. They have told that after The Tet Offensive, now that’s what they’re calling the total lose that was the actions of 3 months ago, we are going back home, maybe I’ll finally see my family soon. Me and the girl from Honolulu are writing letters to each other, its great being around her, I want to see her again.

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Hey, I’m back, worse than ever, I’ve gotten transferred to Honolulu, we have a special treatment facility for the wounded here, there is this one beautiful nurse that’s been taken care of me, I might shoot my shot with her but first I have to get out of this bed. (3 weeks later) My leg is better thanks for asking, I’m walking normally and can no longer feel pain where I was shot. They have told me that I will be back in action the next month. I went out with the girl I told you about the other day, she sweet and funny and I think I want something serious with her. I’m in great confusion because I don’t know what to do, should I tell her before I go or should I wait until after I’m back...

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It’s been 3 years almost since I wrote in this diary; I’m in the front, its harsh, cold at night, and very warm at day. The food isn’t that bad but its better at the base. They sent us to protect the North villages. Since we survived Ia Drang, everyone has been down; nobody wants to be here anymore. I’m trying to keep a cheerful spirit but its useless.(2 days later) We’ve been ambushed, were trapped an scared. They’re taking heavy loses, but they keep coming. Some of these soldiers look weird, they’re not Vietnamese but look Russian.( Hours later) I’ve been shot on the leg and had to be sent down to the base. I’m feeling terrible. I want to go home.

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We’re back at the base... I don’t know what I’ve gotten into. I feel terrible, I’m sick, tired, sad, but I haven’t eaten in days and I’m not hungry. Since I saw those people die, get slaughtered, lose all they’ve lived and worked for in a second. People back at Texas appreciate life a lot, maybe that’s where all theses felling are coming from. I had a friend from high school here at the squad. We fought together but I lost  sight of him after the first wave of deaths. I too tired to go check for him at the infirmary, or get out of bed, or try hard in training, I’m too shockers to do anything. Right now, a shake with mom and dad at What-a-Burger doesn’t sound too bad.

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It’s November 4th, we finnaly get some action. Some North Vietnamese troops near us and our general has decided to act. I’m from Texas so I have a pretty good shot but these guns are too big and too heavy for my  liking. I have never killed or hurt anyone with a gun before but all that training for before has prepared me for that moment, when I will unfortunetly force a bullet out my gun’s cannon and decide the fate of another human being. Some days have passed now since my last entry but its not good in our side, we have taken heavy loses. We underestimated their will and power. I have confirmed 2 kills now but i feel terrible, not only because I took someone’s life away but because apparently our food wasn’t in a good state. We pray to God that he will help us and let this rain of torture and cruelty stop.

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Today we’re getting deployed at Vietnam. South Vietnam to be specific, they had some weird dispute between north and south provinces, like the Civil War. This time is not about slavery or state rights, no no, its about communism, I’m 19, still in school so I don’t understand much. Our government has always thought of communism as the bad guys, that’s why they’re have all those political conflicts and who has the better firepower. Russia is in this too, they’re on the other side of the table, well what did we expect? They need to support their mates to show their people that communism is good. But who cares, all I want to do is go back home, to Texas, and tell my family I love them.