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Willow-Anne Mar 2014

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

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Changing The Way Society Understands Mental Health

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Changing The Way Society Understands Mental Health

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Changing The Way Society Understands Mental Health

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Teenager Theo Bennett's experience with his father's bipolar disorder has taught him that compassion comes from learning.

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“And here you are living, despite it all.” - Rupi Kaur

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“And here you are living, despite it all.” - Rupi Kaur

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So Dark & Deep: A Story of Mental Illness

It hits you all of a sudden. It's the middle of the day, you're surrounded by friends and the sun is out. But something isn't right. There is this feeling, a very uncomfortable feeling in your mind, in the pit of your stomach. You want to leave and go somewhere that is quiet and dark. You are being consumed. Consumed by your own thoughts. So dark and so horrid, you are afraid. It's wrecking you from the inside out.

But what can you do? Suffer? That's what many of us do and did. But sometimes the suffering gets too much. You can't handle the darkness that's pulling you into an eternal abyss and you decide that only way to stop the darkness is to join it. You take your own life. Suicide. Simple as that.

I lost a very close friend of mine to suicide. It sent us, their friends and family, all into a cage. We felt trapped, we felt deep inside us this horrible, disgusting feeling and all you wanted to do is cry. That's how suffering feels. This constant feeling of being trapped and not being able to do anything to stop it. That's how people with mental illnesses feel constantly. It devours us. Fear eats our insides away until we are nothing but bones. Fear controls us. Fear puts us on autopilot and does whatever it wants.

That feeling you have in the pit of your stomach when you are about to do something that makes you nervous? That's how anxiety feels. It's how living with a mental illness feels. It runs our lives and we can't stop it. Admitting to someone that you have a problem is probably the hardest thing to do. Admitting to my best friend that I have anxiety, depression and OCD took me months.

Every night I would run it around in my head, what and how will I tell my friend that I am crazy and I can't control it? Will she be OK with it? Will she laugh? Is she going to stay being my friend? And that's the problem I am trying to write about. Admitting you have a mental illness. It's not easy to do and that's why more than two million people are struggling. They can't tell anyone.

Lucky for me, I have an amazing group of friends that understood, while some aren't so lucky. A lot of friends and family reject their siblings or children or friends because they don't know how to deal with a mental illness. Dealing with a mental illness, whether you have it or someone else does, is like a tripwire. You have to be so careful with your words or one bad move and it can devastate someone.

Do you remember the part where I mentioned a friend I lost to suicide? Well, her name was Abigail, but her friends and family called her Abby. Abby was obsessed-scratch that-dedicated to One Direction. They kept not only her happy, but everyone happy. Their music helps people, physically, mentally and spiritually. Abby also told me, before she passed, that One Direction was the only thing keeping her going.

Now, you might ask, where am I going with this? Well, what I am trying to do here is get One Direction to notice Abby's story, get them to talk about mental health and let people, especially young adults, to realize that they are not alone in this battle with mental illnesses. No matter what the illness, no one is ever alone, no matter how lonely it seems.

"And here you are living, despite it all." - Rupi Kaur

A quote that that always inspired me, even through those dark days when I decided I couldn't do it anymore, couldn't carry on living.

To all those suffering deep inside, pushing those feelings to the back of your brain, the bottom of your heart, please keep on living. Please remember that no matter how distant your future may seem, no matter how distant love may seem, it will always be there. Never lose hope; I know it's easy to. We are rocks in a sea of chaos; we cannot let every storm knock us around. We simply mustn't.

So Dark & Deep: A Story of Mental Illness

It hits you all of a sudden. It's the middle of the day, you're surrounded by friends and the sun is out. But something isn't right. There is this feeling, a very uncomfortable feeling in your mind, in the pit of your stomach. You want to leave and go somewhere that is quiet and dark. You are being consumed. Consumed by your own thoughts. So dark and so horrid, you are afraid. It's wrecking you from the inside out.

But what can you do? Suffer? That's what many of us do and did. But sometimes the suffering gets too much. You can't handle the darkness that's pulling you into an eternal abyss and you decide that only way to stop the darkness is to join it. You take your own life. Suicide. Simple as that.

I lost a very close friend of mine to suicide. It sent us, their friends and family, all into a cage. We felt trapped, we felt deep inside us this horrible, disgusting feeling and all you wanted to do is cry. That's how suffering feels. This constant feeling of being trapped and not being able to do anything to stop it. That's how people with mental illnesses feel constantly. It devours us. Fear eats our insides away until we are nothing but bones. Fear controls us. Fear puts us on autopilot and does whatever it wants.

That feeling you have in the pit of your stomach when you are about to do something that makes you nervous? That's how anxiety feels. It's how living with a mental illness feels. It runs our lives and we can't stop it. Admitting to someone that you have a problem is probably the hardest thing to do. Admitting to my best friend that I have anxiety, depression and OCD took me months.

Every night I would run it around in my head, what and how will I tell my friend that I am crazy and I can't control it? Will she be OK with it? Will she laugh? Is she going to stay being my friend? And that's the problem I am trying to write about. Admitting you have a mental illness. It's not easy to do and that's why more than two million people are struggling. They can't tell anyone.

Lucky for me, I have an amazing group of friends that understood, while some aren't so lucky. A lot of friends and family reject their siblings or children or friends because they don't know how to deal with a mental illness. Dealing with a mental illness, whether you have it or someone else does, is like a tripwire. You have to be so careful with your words or one bad move and it can devastate someone.

Do you remember the part where I mentioned a friend I lost to suicide? Well, her name was Abigail, but her friends and family called her Abby. Abby was obsessed-scratch that-dedicated to One Direction. They kept not only her happy, but everyone happy. Their music helps people, physically, mentally and spiritually. Abby also told me, before she passed, that One Direction was the only thing keeping her going.

Now, you might ask, where am I going with this? Well, what I am trying to do here is get One Direction to notice Abby's story, get them to talk about mental health and let people, especially young adults, to realize that they are not alone in this battle with mental illnesses. No matter what the illness, no one is ever alone, no matter how lonely it seems.

"And here you are living, despite it all." - Rupi Kaur

A quote that that always inspired me, even through those dark days when I decided I couldn't do it anymore, couldn't carry on living.

To all those suffering deep inside, pushing those feelings to the back of your brain, the bottom of your heart, please keep on living. Please remember that no matter how distant your future may seem, no matter how distant love may seem, it will always be there. Never lose hope; I know it's easy to. We are rocks in a sea of chaos; we cannot let every storm knock us around. We simply mustn't.

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So Dark & Deep: A Story of Mental Illness | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

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It hits you all of a sudden. It's the middle of the day, you're surrounded by friends and the sun is out. But something isn't right. There is this feeling, a very uncomfortable feeling in your mind, in the pit of your stomach. You want to leave and go somewhere that is quiet and dark.

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“Know I been losing my mind
And I'm a little behind, step inside my shoes
Cause I've never been happy with myself
And I don't need no one feeling bad for me”

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“It’s exhausting to fight a war inside your head every single day”
- Mickie Ann

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NBA All-Stars experiencing forms of mental illness shows that no one is immune to it

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NBA All-Stars experiencing forms of mental illness shows that no one is immune to it

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Besides being professional basketball players and members of the Eastern Conference, DeMar DeRozan Kevin Love, and Kelly Oubre Jr. don't really have that much in common.

Well, at least that's what we thought.

But recently, we've learned that the trio actually shares a bond. They're all dealing with something that millions of Americans face every day: mental health issues.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, one in six adults in this country live with a mental illness, and it's estimated that 16.2 million adults have experienced at least one major depressive episode in their life. Unfortunately, the numbers also inform us that only half of the public that suffers from mental illnesses receive treatment.

Which is why it's been so cool to see athletes of this acclaim speak so openly about their trials, which are the same ones that many Americans face on a daily basis. Because mental health doesn't care what you look like, how high you can jump, or how much money you make.

"It's one of them things that no matter how indestructible we look like we are, we're all human at the end of the day," DeRozan told the Toronto Star last month. In the piece, the 28-year-old from Compton, California revealed that despite being wealthy and one of the best basketball players on the planet, he's dealt with depression, anxiety and loneliness.

"We all got feelings ... all of that. Sometimes ... it gets the best of you, where times everything in the whole world's on top of you," he said.

Depression affects almost 15 million American adults, according to the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, while anxiety disorders affect 40 million adults across the country, making it the United States' most common mental illness, and something Love dealt with during a game earlier this season.

"On November 5th, right after halftime against the Hawks, I had a panic attack," wrote the Cleveland Cavaliers forward in a recent article titled, "Everyone is going through something" for The Players' Tribune.

(Jim Mone/AP)

"It came out of nowhere. I'd never had one before. I didn't even know if they were real. But it was real - as real as a broken hand or a sprained ankle. Since that day, almost everything about the way I think about my mental health has changed."

Love discussed the fear he felt about people finding out about his panic attack, the stigma around going to see a therapist, and the revelation he had when he discovered that some of his issues stemmed from how he buried his feelings after the death of his grandmother.

"One of the reasons I wanted to write this comes from reading DeMar's comments last week about depression," Love explained. "I've played against DeMar for years, but I never could've guessed that he was struggling with anything. It really makes you think about how we are all walking around with experiences and struggles - all kinds of things - and we sometimes think we're the only ones going through them."

And according to DeRozan, seeing Love open up and follow in his footsteps has been the ultimate honor.

"This last week has been probably one of the most incredible things that me personally have witnessed, period. ... It made me feel, you know, pretty damn good, honestly," he said. "So it's cool to be able to help somebody."

And because of DeRozan and Love, Oubre Jr. found it a little easier to tell his story.

"I feel as if, yeah man I've suffered through a lot of things in my life," he said recently on the Wizards Tipoff Podcast.

"I can definitely relate to it all. ... I'm really good at keeping a poker face because when I was growing up my dad always told me, 'Don't let anybody see you weak.' Nobody sees that I'm weak, but deep down inside I am going through a lot."

(Adam Hunger/AP)

The New Orleans native was 9 when his family moved to Houston after Hurricane Katrina. The 22-year-old credits his father as the person who keeps him centered, as he's figured out a way to relax and stay calm when anxiety arrives.

"I just go into a quiet place and breathe, man," he said. "Just being mindful is the only way I know how to get through any anxiety, any depression or anything like that."

"I feel like people who are on the outside looking in don't really understand because they see us as superheroes, but we're normal people, man. We go through the issues that normal people go through times 10."

Over the past year, we've seen athletes open up like never before, humanizing them in a way that makes you realize that there are more things that unite us than divide us.

From players across the sports world using their platforms for social justice, to Kobe Bryant winning an Oscar in his new role as a poet, it's evident that today's generations of athletes won't be "sticking to sports" or are willing to just "shut up and dribble."

In an era in which the term "representation matters" is more important than ever, we should all applaud DeRozan, Love and Oubre Jr. for representing the millions of Americans who deal with mental illness every day.

Because in their dark times, those affected now know that there are people out there fighting the same fight.
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DeRozan, Love and Oubre proof no one is immune to mental illness

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Besides being professional basketball players and members of the Eastern Conference, DeMar DeRozan Kevin Love, and Kelly Oubre Jr. don't really have that much in common. Well, at least that's what we thought. But recently, we've learned that the trio actually shares a bond.