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Draft 5!

This week we had a group session in which all of the writer's assigned to Kate's tutorial group got to read and give feedback on each other's scripts. I really loved hearing everyone else's scripts and also found the session really helpful.

The feedback was mostly positive with just a few inconsistencies that left some people confused but I will hopefully be able to fix moving forward. During the read through it got a few laughs which I was very happy to hear :) I had a couple questions about how people thought about the ending and I was given the advice to maybe include Dr MacCormack in the ending, which I think I might try. Kate also asked everyone's thoughts about the lack of historically accurate dialogue, which she is not a particular fan of but she respects that it is a stylistic choice I have made from the beginning. Most of the group agreed that the dialogue works well in suggesting that Myrtle doesn't belong in the convent, and some people didn't even really notice it wasn't historically accurate.

Overall, a really helpful session and I will continue to make the changes that were suggested.

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Draft 4!

This week I received some specific dialogue notes from Kate, which means that the script is definitely getting close to being completed! As the notes were quite specific, I have listed a few of the most important below:

Myrtle's dialogue needs to be a bit more snappy at the beginning.

Myrtle and Hildy need to establish their plan earlier into the script, before Agnes.

Hildy doesn't need to be so nervous (this hadn't been re-edited since earlier drafts). And I don't need to describe her every move as there are far too many stage directions.

Still need to work on the blackmail scene alongside Dr MacCormack's intro.

Agnes and Myrtle need to argue as they both try and help Mother Superior, rather than have Agnes just stand and watch her.

The ending needs to be re-worked possibly, maybe have Hildy say something instead of throwing up.

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Draft 3!

We are definitely getting there! This was probably the most positive session I have had so far with Kate and she is really happy with the structure of the script after I decided to make a compromise between both her views on the script and my group.

Here are some of the specific notes I was given to think about going forward:

Myrtle is a really fully realised character now :) We talked a little about her overall backstory just to go over why some of her personality might be the way it is, it was a really useful exercise that allowed me to consider some things I hadn't yet thought about in relation to her character, so I plan to update her character description.

There are a couple of scenes that still need re-working, mostly near the beginning of the film such as the chamber pot scene, which Kate was unsure how well they would come across on screen. As this is the scene we plan to shoot for our test shoot, I'll be keeping an eye on how effective it is and that will probably inform if I keep it in or not.

I have a few characters mentioned in dialogue that don't make an appearance on screen and this might be a bit confusing, particularly in the scene in which Myrtle blackmails Agnes, so I'll need to find a way to re-work that scene.

I just need to re-consider the way some scenes play out later on, such as the initial introduction of Dr MacCormack and also Hildy's participation in the big amputation scene.

But overall, I have definitely made some good progress with this draft and I look forward to working on the next :)

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Draft 2!

These past few weeks have seen a lot of changes for the script which I will detail below:

One of the main issues with the previous draft was that Myrtle was much too passive to be the main character of the film. While it was a tough decision I thought it best to combine the character of Ada with her character. My reasoning for this was that Ada is a very confrontational character and while I initially wrote for her character to contrast with Agnes (so that they could function as a sort of angel/devil on my shoulder dynamic with Myrtle) I found that a great way to make Myrtle less passive would be to give her Ada's personality, yet still keep the doubts she has been having with her religion recently. Overall, I am really happy with this choice having completed the draft, I think it was really effective.

Making this choice has made me have to re-consider the entire script so I started this re-draft from the ground-up and only referred to the previous for guidance at what could remain. This has caused the script to reach around 12 pages this time which I am quite conscious of, but I am hoping as it is a very dialogue heavy script that we might be quicker in parts because of this. I will have to keep this in mind though.

Hildy has become much more of a secondary character in this draft, which I don't particularly mind. She was already mostly comic relief so having this now become her primary purpose in the script has allowed me to have a bit more fun writing her character in the draft and think about her movements and expressions.

As I have now combined Ada and Myrtle, Agnes has now become somewhat of an antagonist in the story. I think this is also quite a good fit for the story overall, it gives Myrtle more problems to deal with throughout the script due to her strained relationship with Agnes and I have really enjoyed writing their snarky dialogue to each other.

The ending of the film has also changed as a result, it instead is now somewhat of a resolution between Agnes and Myrtle in which they can settle their differences while also giving Myrtle the oppurtunity herself to realise that there might be a life outside of the convent for her, as she now attempts the amputation herself. I think this make the ending much more dynamic and emotional.

However, the script still has a few issues. Logistics are still a problem according to my tutor, due to the few locations within the script there is a lack of believability with where and when certain scenarios are or should be taking place.

Also, after discussing it with my group I had decided to keep the wheelbarrow gag in the script as it played very much into the physical comedy I wanted to include in the script. However, Kate still expressed her belief that this scene might come across as contradictory and disrespectful for what I want the film to depict, a contrasting opinion to what my group think. As I respect both opinions and felt as though I was unsure how to proceed, we set up a meeting in which we discussed everything together. From my experience within this meeting I have decided that the best way to proceed is to write a compromise of both thoughts, as well as my own and hopefully this will resolve the issues present.

Overall, it has been a week of many changes for the script but it is hopefully moving in the right direction.

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The first official draft!

Already there have been some significant changes after my initial tutorial with Kate, my advisor:

In this draft Hildy, the nun on a vow of silence, now appears at the beginning of the film alongside the other nuns. While I really liked her original introduction I knew that if I had to end up cutting a scene or having to re-work a section that her introduction would definitely be one of them. However, having her be there from the start has its benefits as she is now an active character from the beginning which gives the audience more time to connect with her and this will hopefully add to the comic effect of her character.

Another advantage to having Hildy from the beginning is I think it makes her conversation with Hildy at the end of the film more impactful. Yet, Kate has expressed her belief that the ending doesn't really have the effect I think the script needs currently. This is mostly due to Myrtle's character.

The main point of concern for this draft was that Myrtle is far too passive of a main protagonist. She doesn't really have an impact on the story at all and just sort of lets things happen to her rather than causing them or figuring them out for herself. It's been recommended that I need to work on a character biography for Myrtle or just simply give her a bit more agency in what is supposed to be her story.

On that note, I do need to carry out more research on what I want all of the nuns backstory to be. As there is a brief mention of working in a war hospital, Kate has suggested that I need to really understand the history of the nuns up until this point and pick an exact date for the story to take place - I have since discussed this with my group and we are going to go with the 1860 (which means I will have to re-work some lines). #

Finally, another of the problems I need to work on are logistical as it was mentioned that it was quite difficult to pin point where the nuns are exactly in the story. Kate also expressed a dislike for the wheelbarrow element of the nuns transporting Mother Superior, which after hearing her reasoning I understand.

I will work on the next draft over the next few weeks and discuss all that was said with my group in order to keep them in the loop :)

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*the ending of this draft is missing as I forgot to save the document properly - hopefully it still gives an idea of what I intended for the first draft

In the last weeks of summer as both a way to get an early start to the year while also postponing myself having to think about my dissertation, I decided I would start writing a first draft of my grad film outline to have under my belt going into the trimester. Not only do I find I can visualise a story better in a script form rather than an outline, I find it beneficial to have even a small scene from a script to send to people who are interested in the project, just because I hope people find it more engaging if they get to read a potential part of the script as well as an outline.

I had intended this to be the roughest a draft could be but I already found myself going back and editing already. I do often struggle writing drafts of scripts as I struggle to move on with scenes before I'm completely happy with them. While I think this has its advantages, it does cause me to be less flexible when it comes to trying out new ways for scenes to go as I try to sort it out there and then when writing it for the first time.

However, while I may have unfortunately started overanalysing my writing already, I did find myself already really enjoying the project and started to see potential in what might possibly come of it, which was really exciting.

Overall, I am happy with this very early draft and looking forward to discussing it with my tutor (and despite all my editing, I'm sure there will still be much to talk about) :)

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Attached above and below are the initial blogs and articles that caused me to re-think my approach for Bless You!

The key aspects I took from these sources are that nuns are often depicted in a distasteful manner, such as in nunsploitation films which mainly focus on the suggested sexual repression of nuns. The sources also discuss nuns often being depicted as cruel or one-dimensional.

https://anunslife.org/blog/nun-talk/portrayals-of-nuns-in-film-and-popular-culture

https://www.beliefnet.com/entertainment/movies/6-uplifting-films-about-nuns.aspx

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Portrayals of Nuns in Film and Popular Culture

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A Nun’s Life is about just that--LIFE--and how to live it fully in light of the Gospel! Here at aNunsLife.org, people from around the world gather to explore God’s calling in their lives.

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I am happy to report that I have been lucky enough to join the group for On The Backburner as their production designer :)

I am very excited to work with this group, although I admit I am slightly nervous as this will be the first time I have been a HOD in this role. However, the group have been very kind in supporting me so far and I will also receive a lot of guidance from Mark, the production design tutor.

I'm looking forward to getting started!

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Attached is the Look Book I have been working on the past few weeks after my tutorials with Mark, in which he requested that we should make these in order to get a better understanding of how we want our films to look.

While I had made an initial mood board it was explained in the tutorials that it is better to look for inspiration from other film stills, which are accessible from Shot Deck or Film Grab. This worked better than my initial mood board that contained photos of props that I edited together to create a big collage of ideas. While props are important to think about, I understand it is important to think about them in the context of an entire space, which has allowed me to create this instead.

It features still from our inspirations for the film, such as The Bear and Boiling Point, as well as examples of colour that myself, the DOP and Director all worked in collaboration to create.

Going forward, I shall hopefully refer to these examples for inspiration when I begin to consider what I will need for the locations we film.

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This week I have been gathering things for our Test Shoot which takes place on Monday and Tuesday next week.

I was given a budget of £20 by the producers (so that we don't spend too much) and also due to our filming location being the Craiglockhart kitchens that are quite heavily set dressed anyway. I have only really had to look for props that the characters interact with in the scene we are shooting.

This has mostly been cleaning equipment, which I have sourced, alongside some general kitchen utensils which I plan on sourcing from what I already own. I have also sourced two black aprons for the characters as the plan is for them to be dressed in all black, though this may change for the final film.

My main point of focus, particularly this weekend, has been prepping some of the food that we might use for insert shots. While I had initially planned to only prepare the ingredients used within the dish Yusuf makes, such as pomegranate seeds and coriander. I instead had a go at making the entire dish of Harak Osbao, a Syrian lentil stew. I decided this would be a helpful exercise not only to get a better understanding of how it should be prepared but also practice for the final film in case I may need to make the dish instead of a professional which we have discussed as a team. I have made fake food for production design before on other shoots at university, most notably cakes, so I knew that this might be a bit more tricky, especially as it would need to be preserved over a few days. As we also were not entirely sure what inserts we would require I made the decision to make the finished product and then the director could use the dish as he chooses if the inserts were to be decided on the day.

Overall, it went pretty well! While I don't consider myself a bad cook, I am definitely not a professional which is still visible in the final product despite the presentation being pretty good. Yusuf describes the dish as comfort food and I don't this has connotations of expertly crafted food, so I think what I have made would still work well for the scene.

Either way, hopefully it will provide some use on set and it has been a very helpful exercise for me going forward.