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This month, when the school I work at opened, I found it very useful for both students and teachers to use Deep Listening at the beginning and end of each class.

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Did anyone have a chance to practice their deep listening across divides?  Would be very interested to know what happened.... 

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Did anyone have a chance to practice their deep listening across divides?  Would be very interested to know what happened.... 

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I have started to notice that some people really do need those full ten seconds of silence to say more. I have been practicing with one loved one who has a tough time talking about how they feel. I realised that it is really only after at least 10 seconds that they will say more, and dive more deeply into what they have to say. This is especially true if the topic is emotional.

It felt weird for me at first to stay silent for so long, and just hold eye contact, but with practice I'm becoming more comfortable with the silence. It doesn't feel so awkward anymore, but rather more comfortable, because I know it provides space for my loved one to process their thoughts.

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Engaging with People who you Disagree with.

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Engaging with People who you Disagree with.

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The point that I have been able to get from our session today is to be more open to engage and be able to hear people who have a different perspective from us. Because out of this, we can be able to discern from each others' perspectives and recognize our shadows that serve as barriers for us to continually engage and understand another's perspectives. 2 People talking would not make a sensible conversation, but rather more arguing, less listening, trapping us in an echo chamber that makes us not recognize the humanity of the person we are talking with.

- Jose J. / Jose A.

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Here's a little something we've been playing with... all the locations you joined us from on Monday. We're so excited to have so people from so many different places join us for this training!

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More reading for those who want to dig deeper on deep listening 

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More reading for those who want to dig deeper on deep listening 

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I wanted to share with you links to articles that I and others have written that are relevant to this course – so if you want to find out more – you can!

Most of my articles on deep listening are here EmilyKasriel.com https://www.emilykasriel.com/listening

I haven’t yet put there this piece that I wrote after interviewing two participants from the pilot we ran last year with Lebanese citizens (also on zoom) https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-60558016

The late Carl Rogers is a real pioneer in the Deep Listening space.  I particularly recommend this article that he wrote with Richard E Farson https://wholebeinginstitute.com/wp-content/uploads/Rogers_Farson_Active-Listening.pdf

This article in the Harvard Business Review is co-authored by Avi Kluger – a significant academic in the listening space, whose course I participated in and spoke at.     https://hbr.org/2018/05/the-power-of-listening-in-helping-people-change

I mentioned the Silence is Golden academic research on negotiations – more details from the author https://exec.mit.edu/s/blog-post/jared-curhan-says-silence-is-golden-MCTAXYYYLBJZG3XOG2PGCEJPUXBM

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Sometimes when I listen to someone I don't answer anything back because I have nothing to say or I just say "Aha" or "Ok". This makes some people think that I'm not interested in the topic. Any similar experiences or advice to handle such situations?

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Deep Listening and Reflective Listening 

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Deep Listening and Reflective Listening 

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The practice of deep listening is similar to what I had learned in my recent Group Peer Support Facilitator Training called 'reflective listening.'

After someone has shared in a group check-in, the facilitator may offer a reflection by 1) asking permission to offer a reflection, 2) repeating what the person said, using their words; not interpreting what they might have meant or felt, 3) validating the truth of their experience (e.g. "It's true that..."), and 4) offering a strength-based principle (e.g., "The strength I see in you is..."

- Philip S.

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I think that exposure to the idea of Deep Listening and trial in the call has helped me see where it can come into play within the political sphere. I think there's quite a fractionalisation of politics now a days, and what used to be a spectrum is now often boiled down to "right and left" - with no space in the middle. I think Deep Listening and the spreading of its benefits can help bridge these divides better, especially in a world where there seems to be a huge rejection of communication.

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So great to read your comments, thank you so v much from me.  We have now changed the settings so you can post rather than just comment.  Apologies.  I also liked the comment of taking a sip of tea during the silence... and the comment about learning the read people's non verbal cues - so v important.  You can also become aware of speed, of tone, of so much....

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So great to read your comments, thank you so v much from me.  We have now changed the settings so you can post rather than just comment.  Apologies.  I also liked the comment of taking a sip of tea during the silence... and the comment about learning the read people's non verbal cues - so v important.  You can also become aware of speed, of tone, of so much....

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This is a space where you can discuss what you've learned. You can ask questions, share your experiences as well as offer advice to your fellow participants. Please continue to abide by the British Council's code of conduct in this space. The Crossing Divides team will also be here throughout the next 3 weeks.

Click on the pink cross at the bottom right to add a new post or ask a question!