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I am 33 years old. I am married to a pretty great human who has a graduate degree and a decent job. We have savings and own a home. I am only providing details on how stable my life is because these were the reasons that made me feel like having an abortion was selfish. I do not want a child, now, or probably ever. I am in my second semester of grad school. I found out I was pregnant while I was completely swamped with school and working two jobs. I was devasted! I did not want to make a decision; I just wanted it to go away. I had not been using legitimate birth control because it always comes with terrible side effects. And honestly, it is not worth it to feel like crap all the time if I am only having sex with my husband once every other month (separate issue: I wish it were more frequent, and this is something we are working on). I spent a few days going over my options - making a decision was the most challenging part for me. I decided to have an abortion, but because of the ridiculous restrictions in my state, I didn't have many options that I could fit into my life. The Planned Parenthood in town was booked so far out, and they only take abortion appointments on Fridays. I wanted to make it work with my schedule, and I did not want to deal with those dehumanizing protestors. I did not see a medical provider before because I did not want anyone to know and deal with them projecting their stuff onto me. I found a non-profit online that partners with pharmacies to mail the abortion pills. I was scared. I had no one to turn to that provided me comfort. Everyone feels a certain way about abortions, and I felt judged even when talking to open-minded friends. So I did it alone with my partner there to support me. I only felt mild side effects from the first medication. Twenty-four hours after taking that, I took the second medication. It was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. I passed out and was so sweaty and cold. After two hours of that miserable pain, things began to get less intense, and I was able to get some real rest. I woke up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat with a very sharp pain in my pelvic area. I got up, went to the bathroom, and there was so much blood. I felt better shortly after and went right back to sleep. It has been three days since I took the second medication, and I have continued to bleed and feel random sharp pain and cramps. The amount of blood is a bit more than a period, but not too bad. The worst part of this whole experience has been feeling so alone and worrying if what I am feeling and experiencing is normal. This is a really hard thing to have to go through. Reading the experiences of those who have gone before me has been healing. Based on the recommendation of another storyteller, I checked out the book Pro by Katha Pollitt, which really helped. I also had to write a 10-page policy paper on an abortion bill, and I turned it in yesterday. I don't recommend this technique to everyone, but it helped me process the experience and take up the space that I needed to make the right choice for me. To all of those who feel alone in this time, I understand. We deserve better. I will end with an RBG quote as her spirit was by my side through this process. "The decision whether or not to bear a child is central to a woman's life, to her well-being and dignity. When government controls that decision for her, she is being treated as less than a fully adult human responsible for her own choices. It is essential to a woman's equality with man that she be the decisionmaker, that her choice be controlling. If you impose restraints that impede her choice, you are disadvantaging her because of her sex."

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I am 33 years old. I am married to a pretty great human who has a graduate degree and a decent job. We have savings and own a home. I am only providing details on how stable my life is because these were the reasons that made me feel like having an abortion was selfish.

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Veronika x Youth Testify - Advocates for Youth

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https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/abortion-stories/cazembe-photographed-by-ose-arheghan/

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Jeana x Youth Testify - Advocates for Youth

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https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/abortion-stories/alexis-padriga-lim-self-portrait/

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https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/abortion-stories/joy-photographed-by-emily-garcia-tornquist/

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1 in 3 Campaign: Anonymous Abortion Stories

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1 in 3 Campaign: Anonymous Abortion Stories

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Click through and choose a story

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1 in 3 Campaign - Our Abortions, Our Stories, Our Lives.

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The 1 in 3 Campaign is a grassroots movement to start a new conversation about abortion—telling our stories, on our own terms. Together, we can end the stigma and shame women are made to feel about abortion. As we share our stories we begin to build a culture of compassion, empathy, and support for…

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Victoria x Youth Testify - Advocates for Youth

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https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/abortion-stories/vivian-photographed-by-victoria-torres-garcia/