# data[].attributes.headline
"African American women experience [IPV] at a rate 35% higher than white women and about two and a half times more than women of other races and ethnicities"

# data[].attributes.subject
"African American women experience [IPV] at a rate 35% higher than white women and about two and a half times more than women of other races and ethnicities"

# data[].attributes.body
The Netflix show Maid does an amazing job at depicting abusive relationships. The show focuses on single mother Alex as she fights to escape her emotionally abusive relationship and protect her daughter Maddy. This show stuck out to me because it at first Alex was in denial about her abusive relationship, believing that abuse always has to be physical.
Alex , to her counselor Jody, when being sent to a domestic abuse shelter : "I'd really hate to take beds away from somebody who's been abused for real".
Jody: "abused for real" What does that mean?
Alex: "Beaten up. Hurt"
Jody: "What does fake abuse look like? Intimidation? Threats? Control?"

# data[].attributes.body
In 2018, 21 year-old Lauren McCluskey was killed by her ex boyfriend Melvin Rowland. McCluskey had broken up with Rowland after finding out he was actually 37 years old, a registered sex offender, and that he was on parole. Before her death, Rowland had been stalking her, leaking explicit photos of her, showing up at her dorm, and harassing her through a series of violent aggressive text messages. McCluskey had went to the campus police numerous times before her death.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
On October 22, 2018 at 9:55 p.m., 21-year old Lauren McCluskey was found dead inside the back of a car in the parking lot next to her University of Utah campus dormitory. She had been shot seven times.

That afternoon, Lauren's ex-boyfriend Melvin Rowland had waited for Lauren in her resident hall for several hours. She was on the phone with her mother at 8:20 p.m. when Rowland confronted McCluskey, violently dragged her across the parking lot in front of her dorm, causing her to drop her phone and belongings. At 8:23 p.m. Matt McCluskey, Lauren's father, alerted campus security that his daughter was in danger. It was too late.

It's too late now, too: Rowland killed himself hours after McCluskey's death and the man who loaned Rowland the gun he used was sentenced to three years in prison. But in the two years since McCluskey's tragic death, details have emerged about McCluskey's attempts to get protection from University police as she grew increasingly afraid of her stalker ex-boyfriend. Her pleas for help were ignored. McCluskey's family sued the university in federal court and in June, 2020, filed a second lawsuit, contending that, just weeks before she was murdered, a police officer in whom Lauren McCluskey had confided she feared for her life shared nude photographs she had given him with officers not involved in the matter.

When Lauren McCluskey decided to attend the University of Utah, she was recruited to become a member of the Women's Track & Field Team. She was a Washington State Champion in the high jump and ranked 10th in the heptathlon at the USATF Outdoor Junior Championships-she had several other colleges and scholarships to choose from. "Lauren was a star athlete from when she was a youth, climbing trees at the age of two," says her mother, Jill McCluskey who, along with her husband Matt, is a member of the faculty at the University of Washington.

McCluskey's teachers, coaches and teammates had a high respect and regard for her as a multi-event athlete, for maintaining a high GPA and as a person, "She was someone who really cared about other people and her friendships. Somewhat an introvert, if you got to know her you quickly found out that she was full of things to say, and genuinely cared about other people," says her mother. Beyond athletics, she enjoyed karaoke singing and dancing with her closest friends. While attending the U, Lauren belonged to the Capital Church in downtown SLC, and would invite others to come along, encouraging them to sing.

She had lived in Salt Lake City a few years when she met Melvin Rowland at a popular downtown bar where Rowland was working as a bouncer. He told her that he was in the military and trained as a security officer, and afterwards they met up a few times. It wasn't long before she discovered the truth: Rowland was on parole and on the sexual offender list. She confronted Rowland face to face in her dorm room, he owned up, and McCluskey formally ended their relationship.

But she continued to receive messages and threats from Rowland. His friends posted about his suicide-which was fake-on social media and blamed McCluskey as the cause. Rowland made frequent attempts (sometimes successful) to visit her at her university dorm. At one point, he demanded $1,000 from her to prevent him from posting explicit photos of the two of them. As Rowland's actions escalated, McCluskey began voicing concerns to her immediate family and closest friends. Because Rowland was a con and highly manipulative, things were difficult to discern-she didn't always believe he was a threat, or that her life was in danger, and she wished to take care of the situation by herself. But as friends can attest, she was growing more and more concerned and even frightened by his actions toward her.

Officer Miguel Deras presented her case to campus police on October 12, 2018, to report she was being harassed. On October 13, 2018, she reported extortion. The police, including Officer Deras, never investigated her claims. At some point, Deras called her with a strange request. He asked her to hand over some questionable and explicit photos mentioned in the case. As we now know, Deras downloaded those pictures onto his personal phone and was overheard boasting to colleagues, remarking about her looks and being cute.

Looking back, it's easy to see many points where McCluskey's murder could have been prevented. Her mother Jill McCluskey says, "The officers never checked Lauren's killer's offender status. After the police took her statement, they could have easily found out that Rowland was on parole and put him in jail right then. I just wish a responsible adult would have listened and believed. Rowland was on parole and could have been taken into custody." On October 19, 2018, McCluskey emailed detective Kayla Dallof with Rowland's offender information. Dallof did not read the email until after Lauren was killed. According to Lauren's friend Shelby Gonzalez, "On Thursday before we lost Lauren she asked me to come to the library to meet her because she needed help. She said the police didn't believe her about her scary ex and she didn't know what to do."

It turns out that McCluskey was victimized not just by her killer. Lax dormitory security and a macho culture of minimizing coeds' complaints also contributed to her death. McCluskey says, "The U has never admitted that Lauren's death could have been prevented, or apologized or taken responsibility for their failures. It's hard for them to change if they don't acknowledge their failures, and that has to happen going forward."

Too late for McCluskey, changes are coming about, somewhat ironically in a year when campus population and social interactions will drastically decrease due to the coronovirus.

Following McCluskey's murder, teammate and friend Brooke Martin was in shock. But as time went by, she noticed that little or nothing was changing in campus safety or policy. Martin created a mural in McCluskey's honor, and helped build a student-led coalition called "UnsafeU." Since their first public protest on the first anniversary of McCluskey's death, UnsafeU has been gathering and sharing stories of other mishandled cases. Martin says, "Students are demonstrating with their voices and standing up for what's right and not forgetting, and not accepting the empty words or quick Bandaids from a system that's completely broken," says Martin.

Lauren's Promise
Many professors at the U and around the country are posting Lauren's Promise on their course syllabus, "I will listen and believe you if someone is threatening you." laurenmccluskey.org

Utah State Senator Jani Iwamoto has a long-standing interest in dealing with public safety issues and sexual assault. Since McCluskey's murder many college students have contacted her wanting to talk about campus safety and problems like assault, domestic and dating violence and stalking. She says, "I am inspired by their activism, as many students have continued to express that they don't feel safe and demand real change in their places of higher learning. We need safeguards in place to help our students." Senator Iwamoto was the Chief Sponsor of S.B. 134, signed by Governor Herbert on May 19, 2019, a bill which outlines requirements and responsibilities for campus safety and requires institutions to share this information with the Legislature every year, to assess and find out what's working and what's not.

Senator Iwamoto says,"Lauren's death, her pleas for help, of course, her tragic death does not go away, and nothing is going to work unless we have some real change with the police and policy, and that the students believe in it, because now there isn't trust at all in them. Seamless communication is also important for the victims, because it's hard enough to navigate where to go and what to do when they are going through an experience." Senator Iwamoto also sponsored this year's S.B. Bill 80 which focuses more specifically on communication between law enforcement, students, campus police dispatch and departments.

"Lauren's kindness, positive attitude, and work ethic were always on display regardless of the people she was with or activities she was involved in as a student-athlete at the U. It's simply who she was. She was always present and in the moment with her teammates and friends. That is more difficult than we all realize in today's world. Yet she did it with ease and grace on a regular basis with everyone she knew." - KYLE KEPLER, U OF U TRACK AND FIELD COACH

As a Communications major, Lauren was enrolled at the U in Professor Dan Clark's Advanced Public Speaking class. Her final exam was a student presentation called the "Last Lecture-If you had only one hour left to live, what would you say?" Lauren was the first to volunteer. "While soft spoken, she delivered her speech in a profound way," Clark says. "She shared her stories about being on the track team, the thrill of victory as well as her injuries and enduring disappointment and physical pain. Her message was one of keeping hope alive, that overcoming obstacles is part of life, and that practicing self-love is the way for you to fully love others."

Over two years have passed since Lauren was found dead in the back of a car outside her campus dorm. There is still so much to be done, her friend Brooke Martin says. "Justice needs to be served and our demands need to be met-no student should ever be worried about being killed on campus."

And Lauren's story continues and gains momentum. On the first anniversary of her murder, led by a student organization called UnsafeU, 100 students walked out of their classes to protest how the university handled the Lauren McCluskey case, the misconduct of university police and other concerns reported by women.

And September 3rd of the 2020-21 academic year started with another large on-campus rally from UnsafeU demanding the resignation of President Ruth Watkins for withholding evidence in this and other cases and calling for the abolition of the UUPD.

For more city life, click here.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Lauren McCluskey: The Tragic and Unnecessary Tale * Salt Lake Magazine

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
On October 22, 2018 at 9:55 p.m., 21-year old Lauren McCluskey was found dead inside the back of a car in the parking lot next to her University of Utah campus dormitory. She had been shot seven times. That afternoon, Lauren's ex-boyfriend Melvin Rowland had waited for Lauren in her resident hall for several hours.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
He was convicted-and then the judge let him stay out of jail

# data[].attributes.headline
" minor acts such as a simple slap or being pushed or shoved, must be addressed because they are the precursors of partner violence in adult relationships"

# data[].attributes.subject
" minor acts such as a simple slap or being pushed or shoved, must be addressed because they are the precursors of partner violence in adult relationships"

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Skip to main content

Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

ATTENTION : you must have cookies ENABLED in your browser's privacy/security preferences in order to connect to remote databases from non-UH Manoa IP addresses. If you have difficulty logging in, please check your security settings are configured to allow first and third party session cookies and try again.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip to main content Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

# data[].attributes.headline
You Know the Lorena Bobbitt Story. But Not All of It.

# data[].attributes.subject
You Know the Lorena Bobbitt Story. But Not All of It.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Credit... Heather Sten for The New York Times

In the 1990s, she was the topic of tabloid headlines and comedy skits. Now, as a documentary series takes on the story, she opens up about how that one night changed her life.

MANASSAS, Va. - Lorena is very matter-of-fact about the whole thing. There, she said as she drove us around in her Kia on a recent afternoon, was the hospital where surgeons reattached John Wayne Bobbitt's penis after she cut it off with a kitchen knife as he slept on the night of June 23, 1993.

Fifteen minutes away, near Maplewood Drive, was the gravel-strewn field where she disposed of the detached penis out the driver's side window. So, why did she throw it away? I asked. "I tried to drive the car, obviously, but I had this thing in my hand so I couldn't drive so I got rid of it." Obviously.

Further down the road is the nail salon where she worked and fled to that night. "I'm not a vindictive person because I told them where it was," Lorena Gallo, as she is now known, said. By "them" she means the police who, sometime after 4:30 a.m., clutched their loins and went digging through the overgrown roadside grass for the missing member. They found it, put it on ice in a Big Bite hot dog box from a nearby 7-Eleven and rushed it to the hospital where in a nine-and-a-half-hour feat of urological and plastic surgery it was reattached and restored to (almost) full function.

These are the details everyone knows and the ones Lorena recites with the stoicism of the waiter at the Tortino Mare Italian restaurant who hours earlier had relayed the specials for us. It's the actual story, she said - the one about a young immigrant who endured years of domestic violence, was raped by her husband that night, had nowhere to go and finally snapped - that she wanted to talk to me about.

Image

"They always just focused on it ..." - as in her husband's detached and reattached and then, a couple of years later, surgically kind-of enlarged penis. That was all the media, before now, before the Women's March and the #MeToo movement, when we were all less evolved as humans, wanted to talk about. "And it's like they all missed or didn't care why I did what I did," she said.

Lorena is correct, of course, that most people forget that before she was tried for what she did, John was charged with marital sexual assault. (He was acquitted.) At the time, marital rape only recently had been made a crime in all 50 states and was nearly impossible to prove in Virginia. Many in the media, including Ladies' Home Journal and Gay Talese on assignment for The New Yorker, questioned whether it was an oxymoron. ("Wife Rape? Who Really Gets Screwed?" an earlier column in Penthouse read.) Al Franken, as the character Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live, implored Lorena to apologize to John's penis. And, she is correct, that people forget that a jury found her not guilty by reason of temporary insanity. We forget about the string of witnesses at her trial who testified that they had seen bruises on her arms and neck and that she had called 911 repeatedly and that John had bragged to friends about forcing his wife to have sex. In the years since the trial, he was arrested several times and served jail time for violence against two different women. (He denied the allegations.) "This is about a victim and a survivor and this is about what's happening in our world today," Lorena told me.

[ Ashley Judd, Gwyneth Paltrow and others on how #MeToo changed their lives.]

That is the story she tells in "Lorena," a four-part, Jordan Peele-produced documentary that will debut on Amazon Prime Video on Feb. 15. And that is why she took a break from volunteering with her daughter's volleyball team and her work at her nonprofit, Lorena's Red Wagon, that helps survivors of domestic violence, to have lunch and show me around this bedroom community outside Washington, where it all went down.

It has been 26 years since Lorena Bobbitt, a 24-year-old wounded bird of a woman with dark, wiry hair and sad, penetrating eyes became so enshrined in the annals of popular culture that she makes a cameo in both a Philip Roth novel and Eminem lyrics. Today, Lorena is shy, a petite 117 pounds in a black blazer, tasteful black stilettos, diamond hoop earrings and a Louis Vuitton handbag. (She told me her weight because she had weighed 95 pounds in 1993, when John said she had assaulted him.) Even though she has physically transformed, now the picture of an upwardly mobile 49-year-old suburban mom with wispy blond hair, she has the same, sad, dark, orb-like eyes. And even though she goes by her maiden name and, shortly after the trial, the media moved on (thank you, Tonya Harding), people meet Lorena in Manassas and it doesn't take long for them to make the connection that she is that Lorena in Manassas. "I live here. This is my home. Why should he have the last laugh?" she said when I asked why she didn't move away.

That afternoon we grabbed a coffee at Jirani Coffeehouse, near the courthouse where in 1994 the world's media had descended to cover the Bobbitt trial, where vendors sold "Love Hurts" T-shirts and penis-shaped candy, and where inside Lorena, originally from Ecuador, trembled as she told a jury about how her husband, a former Marine, had repeatedly assaulted her. These days, the attention Lorena gets in this town is mostly positive. A woman who recognized her from a Zumba class ran up to us. "Lorena, right? My father-in-law has the biggest crush on you!" she said.

She smiled politely and posed for the photo. Because even though she didn't want John, who continued to show up at her nail salon after the trial and still writes her love letters, to control her life, she knows that she cannot run from that phallic last name, not when you are Lorena in Manassas. "I know I am still Lorena Bobbitt," she said. "That name you know, it's very important here."

For a woman who has been a punch line for most of her adult life, Lorena "Bobbitt" Gallo is a surprisingly sincere person. That is the first thing I noticed about her when we met. She hugged me hello, coming up to my neck in heels, and I was struck at how warm and maternal she was. We talked about being moms and our naturally curly hair. I asked when she decided to go blonde. It wasn't long after the trial when a man she worked with at a salon offered to give her highlights. She wasn't trying to disguise herself or anything, she said, "It's like 'oh, your roots are showing,' so little by little I became blonder ...." And just like that, a straight iron and some hair dye and the scared young woman splashed on the cover of tabloids morphed into the sophisticated advocate who now sat across from me.

Only later did I realize that we had had the kind of easy conversation of manicurist and client. The nail salon, after all, had been Lorena's refuge before and after the trial. She would talk to clients and learn that they, too, had been victims of domestic abuse. "That's when I realized what happened to me could've happened to any woman in a desperate situation," Lorena said. She hopes to open her own shelter. "When I was abused, I went to the salon and I didn't have the key and had to sleep in my car outside," she said.

In 1994, after she served a brief, mandated stint in a mental hospital, Lorena went back to her life as a manicurist. She later did hair and sold real estate. She attended her Catholic church regularly and went to community college where she met David Bellinger. The two were study partners and friends for years before they became romantically involved. She never dated anyone else, she said, because, well, how can you date, really, when you are that Lorena? The couple now have a 13-year-old daughter and live on a tidy street in a cream-colored brick house.

"When I finished with the trial, in the beginning, geez, I couldn't even go to the grocery store because people would say, 'Oh my god, You know what, I know you.' I just wanted to put my groceries down and go home," Lorena said in still accented English. "I just wanted to take care of myself and my family. You know, just to integrate myself into normalcy and a normal life."

John went on to star in pornographic films ("John Wayne Bobbitt: Uncut" and "John Wayne Bobbitt's Frankenpenis"). He became a fixture on "The Howard Stern Show." "I don't even buy that he was raping her," Stern said on one segment with John. "She's not that great looking." Lorena did some press, but mostly resisted offers to turn their castration saga into a film or TV series. She turned down $1 million to pose for Playboy. "A million dollars is a million dollars," she said. "It would've been amazing. But I wasn't raised that way."

The filmmakers who approached her over the years never wanted to focus on the abuse, the story she really wanted to talk about. Even though the "War of the Bobbitts," as People magazine called it, happened two years after Anita Hill inserted sexual harassment into the conversation and "Thelma & Louise" turned a housewife and a waitress into renegade icons of female revenge, most people never really thought of Lorena in those terms. Men, speaking from Charlie Rose's table and Geraldo Rivera's armchairs, made Lorena seem like an unsatisfied, unhinged wife who had dealt a ghastly blow in the gender wars. And while many women defended Lorena and wondered what John must have done to drive her to it, some feminists argued that she had hurt the cause, making the sisterhood look deranged. "It was like, 'Oh yeah, so now a lot of women are going to do this,'" remembered Katha Pollitt, who wrote about the trial for The Nation. "I do not remember Lorena Bobbitt, feminist hero."

Domestic violence activists tried to refocus the conversation. "Nobody cared about anything except John and his surgery and his 'loss,'" said Kim A. Gandy, a former president of the National Organization for Women. "We did a lot of interviews and the approach was often something like 'Well, that's what you feminists wanted all along.'"

Then, in 1994, O.J. Simpson was arrested and later acquitted in the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ron Goldman. That same year Congress passed the Violence Against Women Act. "The national dialogue that started with Anita Hill, Lorena Bobbitt, O.J. Simpson, finally created a national discourse that gave us some traction on legislation," said Katie Ray-Jones, chief executive of the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

So, even though most portrayals of Lorena made her seem like, in her words, "this crazy, jealous lady," the Bobbitt trial did play a part in the laws changing.

That was the version of the story that Joshua Rofé, a documentarian who had made "Lost for Life," about juveniles serving life sentences in prison, wanted to tell. He explained that to Lorena when he reached out to her in December 2016, after reading about her work with domestic violence victims in HuffPost. They talked for nearly a year before Lorena, motivated by her outrage about the election of Donald J. Trump and, months later, the #MeToo movement, decided the climate was finally right to tell her side. It just so happened that at the same time, a wave of movies, documentaries and podcasts ( "I, Tonya," "The Clinton Affair," "Slow Burn") had shined new light on other women engulfed in scandals in the 1990s. Lorena identified with Tonya Harding and Monica Lewinsky. "We were vilified by the media, vilified and that is so sad. It happens to women," she said. Maybe, she figured, her story could finally get equal billing to John's penis.

Rofé said that before his talks with Lorena, he'd thought about the Bobbitt case ("the original clickbait," he called it) like most people did. "I grew up being told it was common knowledge that some crazy white lady cut her husband's penis off in a fit of vengeance," he said. "It was this red hot thing that everybody got wrong."

Not long after Peele won an Oscar for "Get Out," Rofé casually brought up his fixation with reassessing Lorena Bobbitt. Peele devoured ESPN's "O.J.: Made in America" and saw the makings of something similar in Rofé's project. "I loved the way that used 25 years of hindsight to look at this case that we thought we all knew and I thought this spoke to gender dynamics in the way "O.J." peeled back the layers of racial dynamics," Peele said in a phone interview.

[Subscribe to our Movies Newsletter to find out about the latest releases and Critics' Picks.]

The documentary mostly unfolds in 1993, the dawn of Court TV and a proliferation of gossipy daytime talk shows. In Rofé and Peele's hands, the 24-hour news cycle becomes a voracious, multiheaded monster that eventually engulfs everything. "There is a third character to this story besides Lorena and John and that is us, society, and what we did with the information we had available to us," Peele said.

"Lorena" ends with the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline, but the narrative itself doesn't take a side. It relies on news footage and interviews with Lorena, sitting in her living room. John is extensively interviewed, too, from a lounger in his home in North Las Vegas. He has maintained that he planned to divorce Lorena and that after he denied her sex that night, in a vengeful rage, she cut off his penis while he slept.

In a phone interview, John, who was in New York preparing to tape "The Dr. Oz Show," said he hadn't seen "Lorena" but he said the filmmakers had set him up to make him look bad. "She was never abused, she was always the abuser and she cut off my penis because I was going to leave her," he said. I asked John about the additional charges that the film covers, including a harrowing interview with one of his ex-girlfriends who said he tied her to the bed in his Niagara Falls, N.Y., apartment and for several days repeatedly raped her. He was convicted and spent time in jail.

"It's all made up and I'm tired of it," John said. "I was with a lot of women, a lot of women and none of them ever complained, except Lorena -" He paused. "And Joanna." After we discussed the allegations, he proposed we keep talking over dinner at the Empire Hotel where he was staying. I declined.

Back in the car, as Lorena pointed out the hospital where John had his surgery and where, just down the hall, she underwent a rape kit, I asked her if she regretted what she did. "How can you regret something you didn't mean to do?" she said. She explained, again, what she told the jury in 1994. John came home drunk. He raped her. She went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, spotted the kitchen knife and was overcome from years of abuse. She doesn't remember anything after that. "To me, regret is 'Oh, I bought a black car instead of a red car' when you don't choose right," Lorena said. "I wasn't in my conscious mind."

But I didn't just mean did she regret committing the act. I meant, did she regret making John Wayne Bobbitt a household name? Did she regret giving him a modicum of fame and a small but steady lifelong income? But Lorena doesn't think about things like that. Again, she told me, there are only choices. The black or the red car. "He can choose. It's his life. Basically, I don't think I have anything to do with whatever he chooses to do with his life, you know, after the incident," she said.

"The incident" - that is what Lorena calls the shocking crime that still makes many men grasp their crotch and assume she must be serving a life sentence. Before she agreed to put "the incident" back into the public's imagination, Lorena talked to Peele, who explained to her that there would, inevitably, be comedy in this retelling. "Lorena," Peele told me, fits with his larger mission to make films that give voices to marginalized people, but it's impossible not to acknowledge that the story has the dark, tragicomic underpinnings of a Coen brothers' movie. The first episode, after all, follows small town policemen digging around a field for a missing penis. "I'd be lying to you if I said there's not humor in this story," Peele said. He asked Lorena if she was O.K. with that. She told him she was.

"I was the subject of so many jokes in the '90s and to me it was just cruel," she said. "They didn't understand. Why would they laugh about my suffering?" But a couple of decades later, after a lot of therapy, Lorena gets it now. She understands that the reason she has a platform is because of the detached penis, because of the hot dog box and Frankenpenis and that unforgettable last name. "I'll put myself through the jokes and everything as long as I can shine a light on domestic violence and sexual assault and marital rape," she said.

At one point, we drove along in silence. I looked over at Lorena, her hands gripping the steering wheel at 10 and 2. She stared straight ahead at the road, the same road she had been on that night in 1993, a night that even though she didn't want it to, has defined her life. It occurred to me that there would be no documentary, no Bobbitt jokes or permanent place in popular culture, had John severed some vital piece of Lorena. "They laugh," she said several times during our afternoon together. "They always laugh."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
You Know the Lorena Bobbitt Story. But Not All of It. (Published 2019)

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
In the 1990s, she was the topic of tabloid headlines and comedy skits. Now, as a documentary series takes on the story, she opens up about how that one night changed her life. MANASSAS, Va. - Lorena is very matter-of-fact about the whole thing.

# data[].attributes.headline
"According to the Hawaii Department of Health, nearly one in five middle school students experience physical dating violence"

# data[].attributes.subject
"According to the Hawaii Department of Health, nearly one in five middle school students experience physical dating violence"

# data[].attributes.body
"According to DVAC, from February of 2020 to 2021, hotline calls jumped by 188%"

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
HONOLULU (KHON2) - Domestic violence is an often hidden problem that can have deadly consequences and experts say it is on the rise in Hawaii.

The Domestic Violence Action Center (DVAC) saw a spike in calls in 2020 during the pandemic and they are already seeing similar patterns in 2021. Although things are returning to normal, domestic violence numbers are expected to grow.

According to DVAC, from February of 2020 to 2021, hotline calls jumped by 188%. In April, numbers rose by 38%.

"We're seeing texts and chats 24 hours a day and telephone calls during the workday and workweek," Domestic Violence Action Center executive director.

Former Miss Hawaii USA, Juliet Lighter-Kamm, knows first hand what these victims are dealing with.

"I was in multiple abusive relationships. And like I said, I've experienced every type of abuse that you can imagine," said Juliet Lighter-Kamm, founder of Women Speaking Out.

She does not just mean that in a physical sense. Lighter-Kamm experienced verbal and emotional abuse too.

According to the Hawaii Department of Health, nearly one in five middle school students experience physical dating violence. To combat those numbers, the Honolulu Police Department added two victim-witness counselors to their domestic violence task force in 2020.

As a survivor, Lighter-Kamm says victim resources can be life-changing, but before getting help comes recognition.

"If you're dating someone, male or female, and they're telling you what you should wear, what you shouldn't wear, that's a sign of control. If your partner doesn't even allow you to have an opinion and doesn't even allow you to share or really to talk to other people. That's another big red flag," said Lighter-Kamm.

"If they are exhibiting any red flags, exhibiting any signs, you should ask them questions. It's a delicate conversation to have, but it's a very important conversation to have," Friedman said.

For more information on DVAC's resources, click here.

For more information on Women Speaking Out Hawaii, click here.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Experts see increase in domestic violence cases in Hawaii, provide tips for victims, loved ones

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
HONOLULU (KHON2) - Domestic violence is an often hidden problem that can have deadly consequences and experts say it is on the rise in Hawaii. The Domestic Violence Action Center (DVAC) saw a spike in calls in 2020 during the pandemic and they are already seeing similar patterns in 2021.

# data[].attributes.headline
“Love is what makes domestic violence different from other crimes.”

# data[].attributes.subject
“Love is what makes domestic violence different from other crimes.”

# data[].attributes.body
Tells numerous stories of domestic violence.

In 2002, Dorothy Giunta-Cotter was shot by her husband, William Cotter, after 20 years of abuse. He then killed himself

In 1999, Rocky Mosure bought a gun from The Thrifty Nickel, and went home and killed his wife and children, six and seven

Snyder talks about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her father after her mother died when she was young

While attending her daughters graduation, she received a call that her close friends brother had bought a gun and killed his wife and himself.

Across the world, 137 women are killed every day by domestic violence

In the US, 50 women a month are shot dead, 90 are killed in total

Jimmy Espinoza: “How do you persuade a 30-year-old to stop beating his wife? Talk to him when he’s 12.”

# data[].attributes.body
Lauren McCluskey.

# data[].attributes.body
PBS Hawaii Domestic Violence Episode

# data[].attributes.headline
" Job loss, financial struggles, food insecurity, poor mental health and lack of social support increase the odds of violence in the home"

# data[].attributes.subject
" Job loss, financial struggles, food insecurity, poor mental health and lack of social support increase the odds of violence in the home"

# data[].attributes.body
In the beginning of the pandemic.... community-based
victim organisations reported 25%–50%increase in
hotline calls, up to 150% increase in website traffic
and a 12.5% increase in IPV related police activity

[Throughout the pandemic], physical victimisation.....worsened
among [some] victims. This may be due to perpetrators wanting to
avoid hospitals"

"In addition,... self-reported sexual violence significantly
worsened among victims, which is likely reflective of spending
more hours of the day at home"

"Community members must also be made aware of IPV, as neighbours and close friends may be the only line of communication for victims during isolation"

# data[].attributes.body
"When its hard to talk, its up to us to listen"

# data[].attributes.headline
IPV and Depression among Black Transgender Women in the USA

# data[].attributes.subject
IPV and Depression among Black Transgender Women in the USA

# data[].attributes.body
In a recent survey study, 72% of
transgender/gender non-conforming respondents reported at least one form of IPV"

In a study of 493 black transgender women from 2014-2017

41.8% reported homelessness in the past year

44.7% reported IPV

Those who reported IPV experienced a 36% increased likelihood of depressive symptoms

1.5% reported family support

1.6% reported friend support

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip to main content Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

# data[].attributes.headline
Teen Dating Violence (Physical and Sexual) among US High School Students

# data[].attributes.subject
Teen Dating Violence (Physical and Sexual) among US High School Students

# data[].attributes.headline
“It's Not Really Stalking If You Know the Person”: Measuring Community Attitudes That Normalize, Justify and Minimise Stalking.

# data[].attributes.subject
“It's Not Really Stalking If You Know the Person”: Measuring Community Attitudes That Normalize, Justify and Minimise Stalking.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Skip to main content

Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

ATTENTION : you must have cookies ENABLED in your browser's privacy/security preferences in order to connect to remote databases from non-UH Manoa IP addresses. If you have difficulty logging in, please check your security settings are configured to allow first and third party session cookies and try again.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip to main content Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

# data[].attributes.headline
Confusing Stalking for Romance: Examining the Labeling and Acceptability of Men’s (Cyber)Stalking of Women

# data[].attributes.subject
Confusing Stalking for Romance: Examining the Labeling and Acceptability of Men’s (Cyber)Stalking of Women

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip to main content Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

# data[].attributes.headline
"I didn’t know then what I know now, that relationship abuse is a public health epidemic and that young women in Yeardley’s age group are at three times greater risk than any other demographic”-Sharon Love, Yeardley's mother

# data[].attributes.subject
"I didn’t know then what I know now, that relationship abuse is a public health epidemic and that young women in Yeardley’s age group are at three times greater risk than any other demographic”-Sharon Love, Yeardley's mother

# data[].attributes.body
In 2010, 22 year-old lacrosse star Yeardley Love was killed in her apartment by her longtime boyfriend George Huguely. The couple had been dating on and off for two years, breaking up various times due to Huguely's substance abuse issues and frequent violent outbursts.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
A College Lacrosse Star Killed by Her Raging Ex: The Story of Yeardley Love and George Huguely

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
What ultimately led to Love’s death at the hands of a former lover and what happened after an abusive relationship was uncovered?

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Credit: Getty Images

August, 2017: The level of detail disgraced rapper Chris Brown has recently gone into regarding the night he assaulted Rihanna in 2009 will actually make you feel unwell. As we wake up to news of another terror attack, this time in Barcelona Spain, celebrity news post such a tragic event usually falls to the wayside to make way for what is truly important. While Brown's admission is ill-timed, domestic violence is always an essential story to tell and this narrative shows it doesn't discriminate even to those who seem untouchable (read: celebrities).

To recap: Eight years ago, Brown assaulted his then-girlfriend Rihanna in a Lamborghini the night prior to the Grammys. The picture of the latter - a busted lip, a black eye and bruising on her face - spread like cyber wildfire around the world. Now, in a new documentary, the 28-year-old With You singer has given context to the picture.

Brown had admitted to being unfaithful with a work friend and Rihanna found out and "starts going off". "She throws the phone, 'I hate you!', whatever, whatever, she starts hitting me, we're in a little Lamborghini, you know she's fighting me," Brown says.

"Like I remember she tried to kick me, just like her beating sh*t, but then I really hit her. With a closed fist, like I punched her, and it busted her lip, and when I saw it I was in shock, I was 'fu*k, why did I hit her like that? So from there she's...spitting blood in my face, it raised me even more. It's a real fight in the car, and we driving in the street."

The rapper then says Rihanna grabbed his crotch while she was trying to get his phone off him. In retaliation he bit her "because I was trying to drive". He then attempts to redeem his state of mind. "I'm just trying to resolve the situation, I'm not trying to fight any further, like I love her, I don't want to hurt my girlfriend."

According to Brown, Rihanna got out of the car and started to scream "Help, he's trying to kill me!". "I was like, 'Stop, we gonna get in trouble'," says Brown.

He was sentenced to five years probation, one year of domestic violence counselling and six months of community service.

The most disturbing part for me in Brown's re-telling is he recounts his violent responses as a result of Rihanna's actions; every recount begins with "Rihanna did this". It's just not OK on so many levels.

If you're interested, you can actually read the police report here. Be warned, it may be triggering to some.

The video for Brown's new documentary has been deleted from his Facebook account but you can view it here.
If you or someone you know feels affected by this story, head to lifeline.org.au or free counselling is available through the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service 1800 737 732.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Inside the night Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Credit: Getty Images August, 2017: The level of detail disgraced rapper Chris Brown has recently gone into regarding the night he assaulted Rihanna in 2009 will actually make you feel unwell. As we wake up to news of another terror attack, this time in Barcelona Spain, celebrity news post such a tragic event usually falls to the wayside to make way for what is truly important.

# data[].attributes.headline
Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence,Stalking, and Intimate Partner Violence Victimization—National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey,United States, 2011

# data[].attributes.subject
Prevalence and Characteristics of Sexual Violence,Stalking, and Intimate Partner Violence Victimization—National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey,United States, 2011

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip to main content Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

# data[].attributes.body
"You don't need your f***** purse, you don't need anybody, you need me"

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Tonya and Jeff | "You need me" | I, Tonya.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
When a Wyoming coroner announced Tuesday that Gabby Petito, the 22-year-old travel blogger whose remains were recovered in September in a national park, died by strangulation, experts who study intimate partner violence said they saw a recognizable thread.

"Strangulation is not talked about as much, but it is a major risk factor for intimate partner homicide," Kellie Lynch, an associate professor at the University of Texas at San Antonio, told "Good Morning America." "And we often see it occur alongside more severe abuse."

"When you're talking about strangulation, that is very typically the cause of death in domestic violence cases," Dan Abrams, ABC News chief legal analyst, said in an interview Wednesday on "GMA." "It is angry. It is violent. It takes time. That is precisely what many believe happened here."

Petito's death was ruled a homicide and the cause is officially listed as "manual strangulation/throttling," according to the coroner.

Petito's boyfriend and cross-country traveling companion, Brian Laundrie, has been named by investigators as a person of interest in her death and is the subject of a massive nationwide search being directed by the FBI.

While the search continues for Laundrie, he's also wanted on charges of bank fraud for allegedly using Petito's credit card. Experts said the case has shined a spotlight on intimate partner violence and the many forms it can take.

Strangulation is one of the most lethal forms of domestic violence, one that can cause death within minutes, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, a 24/7, free and confidential resource.

It is also a predictor for future deadly violence, experts said. A non-fatal strangling in the past by a partner makes the victim 10 times more likely to be killed by them later on, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

"I think people are now starting to appreciate the seriousness of strangulation, both that it's more frequent than we realize and also that it can be more lethal than we realize," Kiersten Stewart, director of public policy and advocacy of Futures Without Violence, a nonprofit organization focused on ending violence against women and children, told "GMA." "When we train health care providers, strangulation is one of the very specific issues that we talk about to help them recognize it."

Symptoms of strangulation can range from a sore throat and difficulty swallowing to bruising, memory loss, difficulty breathing and changes in sleep, mood and personality, among others, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Strangulation in cases of intimate partner violence is often about control, and in non-fatal cases, it may not leave as evident of a mark as other forms of physical abuse, experts said.

Stewart and other experts note that when cases like Petito's are in the news, though extremely tragic, they can raise awareness about intimate partner violence and the many different forms it may take.

"Domestic violence is still a very serious issue," said Stewart, noting young people between the ages of 18 and 24 experience the highest rates of domestic violence. "As a country, we have made great progress in the last 25 years, but we haven't actually reduced homicides nearly as dramatically, and that still needs to be a real focus."

In his eulogy at his daughter's funeral last month, Joseph Petito referenced the issue, telling mourners, "If there is a relationship that you're in that might not be the best thing for you, leave it now. Take care of yourself first."

Intimate partner violence, which falls under the broader umbrella term of domestic violence, affects more than 12 million people every year, and disproportionately impacts Black and Indigenous women, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. It has historically been seen by many as something that happens with older, married couples, or something that involves only physical abuse, like a black eye, the organization said.

In reality, it is something that cuts across all social and demographic lines and can also occur through control and manipulation that is not as easily visible to the outside world, according to Lynch.

"We have these myths or stereotypes in our head of a typical domestic violence abuser and victim, who they are and what they act like, but everybody is at risk," she said. "People would be very surprised to find out just how prevalent it is and how many people they know who've experienced it at some point."

While acknowledging that not all details of the incident are known, both Lynch and Stewart pointed to body camera footage of Petito and Laundrie being pulled over in Arches National Park in Utah in August after a report of an alleged domestic problem.

The footage showed Petito, who appeared to be crying, at one point sitting in the back of a police vehicle, and Laundrie, at other points, talking to police officers.

Petito told police she suffers from severe anxiety and other medical conditions and that the couple's argument had been building for days. Police labeled the incident as a "mental/emotional break" rather than a domestic assault, according to the police report.

"I don't know how much we're going to know about the relationship and the dynamic between the two of them, but in the video, she seemed frightened and scared," Lynch said of Petito. "I think across all of these cases [of intimate partner violence], that's what you're going to see, someone is intimidated."

Stewart said she sees in the video fear from Petito, which she calls a red flag.

"You can't always tell the first time you meet somebody what's going on," she said. "But once you've started to have a conversation, if you see somebody who's very much afraid, like, 'If I were to not do what he wants, what happens?' that's often a red flag."

Abuse in relationships, which data shows is more often, but not always, perpetrated by men, comes down to "power and control," according to Rosemary Estrada-Rade, director of quality assurance and innovation at the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

"It's about that pattern of behaviors that are used within relationships to maintain that control over the other partner," she said. "So it could be physical violence, but a lot of times it's intimidation, manipulation, emotional abuse, financial abuse and financial control, and that can look different in different relationships."

Signs that someone may be suffering from intimate partner violence include isolation from family and friends, appearing withdrawn or not like themselves, frequent calls or texts from their partner about where they are and who they're with and other controlling behaviors, like withholding money or restricting a person's ability to work, according to Estrada-Rade.

When a case like Petito's is in the headlines, it can help draw awareness to the issue of intimate partner violence and increase education, experts said.

In Sarasota, Florida, around 30 miles from the town where police say Laundrie was last seen, calls to a local domestic violence shelter have increased 15% over the past month, compared to the same time last year. The shelter's CEO attributes the increase to both the pandemic and headlines around the Petito case.

"Domestic violence is something that people shy away from, they don't want to talk about it," Jessica Hays, president and CEO of Safe Place and Rape Crisis Center in Sarasota, told "GMA." "I think that anytime that we have an opportunity to talk about how common domestic violence is, and the warning signs and just shine a light on the fact that this is something that affects many, many people and is not the fault of the victim and that there is help and support out there, that's a really important conversation."

The National Domestic Violence Hotline has experienced a 46% increase in contacts in the past five years, according to a spokeswoman, who also attributed the yearslong increase in calls to a combination of factors.

"While we can't say definitively that seeing or hearing about reports of abuse or domestic violence in the media causes an increase in contacts, we do know that news reports and even depictions of tactics of power and control in other media can help survivors recognize that they might be experiencing abuse and that they can reach out to us," the spokeswoman said.

Experts said that is the most important takeaway, the recognition that there is help out there for everyone touched by intimate partner violence, from those experiencing it to those committing it to those trying to help.

"During this Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we really are encouraging those who feel that they may be in an abusive or controlling relationship to get help, to talk to somebody," said Stewart. "And also, we really encourage people who may be using violence in their relationships to also reach out for help because that's really the behavior we need to change."
If you need help or need help supporting someone else, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Gabby Petito's cause of death a lesser-known sign of intimate partner violence, experts say

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
When a Wyoming coroner announced Tuesday that Gabby Petito, the 22-year-old travel blogger whose remains were recovered in September in a national park, died by strangulation, experts who study intimate partner violence said they saw a recognizable thread.

# data[].attributes.body
"Love ain't done nothing for me- but beat me, rape me, call me an animal. Make me feel worthless. Make me sick"

# data[].attributes.headline
Psychosocial implications of marital rape 

# data[].attributes.subject
Psychosocial implications of marital rape 

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Skip to main content

Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

ATTENTION : you must have cookies ENABLED in your browser's privacy/security preferences in order to connect to remote databases from non-UH Manoa IP addresses. If you have difficulty logging in, please check your security settings are configured to allow first and third party session cookies and try again.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Skip to main content Note: Most electronic resources to which the Library subscribes are RESTRICTED to University of Hawaii at Manoa students, faculty, and staff to comply with licensing agreements. Community Cards are not eligible for login to restricted resources.

# data[].attributes.headline
MARITAL RAPE: THE LONG ARCH OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS

# data[].attributes.subject
MARITAL RAPE: THE LONG ARCH OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS

# data[].attributes.body
This episode of Degrassi covers domestic violence among teen couples.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Degrassi: The Next Generation 310 - Never Gonna Give You Up