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Possibly my favorite memory with you, Lola, is how you sit and watch me bake whenever I had to stay up and fulfill orders. You'd scold me about my late hours but never complain about the noise I make in the kitchen beside your room. You'd eat scraps of cake with me, you always say I make good food but that I charge too high for my cakes. I'd now always look to your sitting spot hoping you're watching me happily.

You got sad when you knew I'll move kitchen soon, saying "wala na akong kasama". Fret not Lola, you'll always be with me.

When I think of you I always think how you're so proud of the simplest things I do, like baking and driving. You'd say I'd make my future partner so happy because I can make good food. From the stories on your memorial service, I thought that feeding people really is your love language. I'd be sure to feed everyone with hearty food for as long as I can just as you did.

From Denden

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Aginana kan, Mommy.

When we meet again, tell me stories about how you boss the angels around in heaven 👼

I only know one queen and her name is Fredelina Baybayan 👑 i love you 🌸

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During my 22nd birthday celebration at SM Fairview. Mommy don’t like taking selfies so she just looks annoyed in most of my pictures with her. So this photo is a rare gem — a mommy smiling for selfie ❤️

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I can give you at least 10 pages of my favorite moments with mommy.

Like how one of my first memories as a child is our afternoon Daisy Siete sessions.

Mommy used to look after me when mama was still working. I would stay with her and watch TV. Daisy Siete was a show that aired after Eat Bulaga and she used to love watching the afternoon shows. But she would turn the TV off after that so I could nap.

I also have this vague memory of her giving me milk and I keep dropping the bottle, that time I had this idea that the milk gets spoiled when I drop the bottle. So I kept insisting for a new one every time I drop it. Until maybe she got tired of making me a new bottle (or pretended to, because now I realize how wasteful that would have been 😅) she finally told me that that’s not how it milk gets spoiled and that I should just drink my milk haha.

Or I could tell you about all the time she would ask me about my partner.

Ever since she met Quincy, whenever she sees me she would ask about him first (she wouldn’t even ask how my day went 🙄😅). She always assumed that he went to visit me so she’d ask “asan si boyfriend mo?”. I would often tell her that he isn’t with me or that he didn’t come to visit yet because he’s assigned outside Manila. She would always reply with a laugh “Hmm adan sabali. (Meron na yong iba)”.

Or I could tell you about the times she heard me sing like it was the first time.

Anyone who knows me know that I love music and that I sing a lot. Dishes time is my concert time. But I guess lola doesn’t remember, so she would tell me sometimes “Napintas gayam ti boses mo (Maganda pala boses mo)” or “Nalaing ka gayam agkanta (Magaling ka pala kumanta).”

Coming from lola, a woman with high standards, this is one of the best compliments I could ever receive.

Or that time I came to her room before going to school and she gave me the only verbal advise I remember receiving from her.

I visit her in her room every time before I leave for school. One day, I was dressed in smart casual and she asked me if I had something important planned. I told her that I was scheduled for a demo teaching for a course requirement. She asked if I was nervous, and I said yet (because I really was). She then told me that she used do demo teaching as well when she was studying and that she was always nervous, too. She then gave me an advise:

Kapag kinabahan ka, isipin mo lang walang tao. Sarili mo lang kausap ko. Tas pag di gumana, isipin mo na magaling ka.

But to be perfectly candid, it’s too hard to choose just one favorite memory with mommy because it’s a 1000-way tie of all her witty comebacks.

For example, when we ask her questions to juggle her memory and to give her some mental exercise, she would sometimes respond with sass that’s perfectly delivered that you just cant help but laugh.

Mommy, sino ko? Anong pangalan ko?

Bakit? Di mo alam pangalan mo?

Or when we’re having a celebration and we ask her if she wants something:

Mommy, gusto mo ng cake?

Oo ah, ba’t mo pa tinatanong.

But as unpredictable as her responses are, she also has some *template* answers. The one I remember most is kumporme.

Mommy anong gusto mo, chicken o pasta?

Kumporme.

Mommy ano gusto mo panoorin?

Kumporme.

Mommy yung red dress or blue dress?

Kumporme.

As a half-baked Ilocano, I’m only half sure that it means kahit ano, ikaw na bahala.

These memories is something that I will cherish forever. And this is how I always want to remember Lola Juling/Mommy Julie — as the independent badass woman who asserts her place in the world with grace and so much love.