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Have - I want to invent the possibility about having peace with what is unknown & to approach each day as a new one, not with the same dread I normally have.

Be - it calls me to be peace and joy, and it also calls me to be compassionate to myself and to others.

Do - Instead of starting and ending my day on the phone, I'm going to start and end my day with gratitude, whether it be a random text to someone, a phone call, or a conversation with my partner over coffee. I'm also going to hold time for myself to use the Headspace app & move my body & not shame myself for whether it was a world renowned workout or not. I just need to move.

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More worried for my husband than for me. Because he is in  job considered essential.

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More worried for my husband than for me. Because he is in  job considered essential.

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If I don't change I will not be able to be my best self for others. I need to prioritize myself and give myself more credit for the things I do

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High levels of stress and anxiety that I then spread to the people in my life that I care about the most; dissatisfaction with my own life; depression

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If I do not change, I will continue to further misalign myself with what I want to be true. I will burn out and isolate myself.

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If I don't pause & take care of myself, I won't be able to take care of others. My emotions will be volatile, and I'll feel helpless. I'll become distant to people I love the most & I won't experience the joy of life that could be there for me if I choose something different.

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If I do not change I'm not only going to be failing my current students but also my future students. This will also majorly effect my anxiety as a teacher and allow me to not believe in myself like I had been able to do the past few years.

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Predicted Future: Depression, Sadness, Burn-out, Loneliness

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Predicted Future: Depression, Sadness, Burn-out, Loneliness

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If I do not change, I will fail my classes. I will also allow myself to deteriorate to the point of crippling depression. As someone who struggles with mental health issues, I know that if I do not reflect or take the time to work on myself during this time, I will reach a low. Once I did not take care of myself well mentally and only got out of bed to teach, then immediately collapsed into my bed again. Eating and showering felt like chores with no rewards. I need to take care of myself so that nothing becomes this extreme again.

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I haven't thought about this. I keep telling myself, if I just give 200% this week, I can "rest" next week. And that was 6 weeks ago. thinking about my immediate future, if I don't break this, "stressed me" and the way I have been operating will burn all bridges and relationships.

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If I continue this way I tend to harshly judge myself and other's contributions to "fixing" the problem and become less generous with the way I see myself and others.

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Uncertainty: My Mother is 81 years old and my Brother is 64 years old and they are my family, and their ages are those of the most susceptible people. That's my daily worry. 

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Uncertainty: My Mother is 81 years old and my Brother is 64 years old and they are my family, and their ages are those of the most susceptible people. That's my daily worry. 

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Aside from the passing of family I am constantly worried and uncertain about my other family members. My sister is a medical professional working on testing covid patients and we have chosen to not to see our mother to protect her in the event we both get exposed and that has been really hard for me.

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Volatility: I am use to change and change at a fast pace, but with COVID-19, I feel that I am not in control of the changes that are taking place so fast. 

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Volatility: I am use to change and change at a fast pace, but with COVID-19, I feel that I am not in control of the changes that are taking place so fast. 

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As someone who struggles with anxiety, the uncertainty surrounding how our way of life will be effected now and long term has been emotionally taxing.

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I find myself often worrying about my personal, family's, and the communities in which we serve safety during this time.

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I try to always find a LOGICAL answer to everything and plan from there. I have found that under that present circumstance logic is not working, because this situations is so interdependent of so many factors that has taken by surprise everyone. Now I am more in an adaptation phase, and more than planning I just try to keep up day by day. 

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I try to always find a LOGICAL answer to everything and plan from there. I have found that under that present circumstance logic is not working, because this situations is so interdependent of so many factors that has taken by surprise everyone. Now I am more in an adaptation phase, and more than planning I just try to keep up day by day. 

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Story: So much is changing no matter what I do or plan it will irrelevant and unhelpful for myself or others.  Looks like freezing, numbing emotions.

Acknowledgement: I'd like to be acknowledged for noticing being in a mode of "over producing" and stepping back to see what's there.

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Im very type A and feel I am my most comfortable when I know expected outcomes and this time has made me feel stressed about things I was unprepared for

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I tend to overthink things regardless of it is through this tough time of COVID-19 or otherwise (something Travis, Liz, and Adam know quite well... APPRECIATE YOU ALL!). I create stories about how I'm going to fail finance class, lose my summer job, become more and more separated and introverted...

However, I am trying to find the time to ground myself in conscious leadership, especially right now.

Story: I lost my summer job.

Acknowledgement: That has not happened.

Story: I am going to fail finance.

Acknowledgement: I'm currently rocking a B in that class. Where did that come from?

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Complexity:  I'm struggling with ways I can effectively yet understandably support my scholars and their families in the ways they need while still taking into account what I need in these moments. I feel like I'm not doing enough or I'm doing too much and am being overwhelming. 

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Complexity:  I'm struggling with ways I can effectively yet understandably support my scholars and their families in the ways they need while still taking into account what I need in these moments. I feel like I'm not doing enough or I'm doing too much and am being overwhelming. 

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Acknowledgement: I want to be acknowledged for the efforts I have made and that my actions are coming from a place of truly caring and loving my students.

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I pride myself as someone who "figure things out," and it's been pretty tough to not be able to figure COVID out or be in control of anything around that.
I want to be acknowledged for attempting to let go of that tendency, and find peace with some of the complexity, even when it's a struggle

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Story: I have to fix everything. I have to be everything to everyone. And I have to work even harder than I did before.

Acknowledgement: I realized I can't fix everything. & I also realized that if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of others. I'd like to be acknowledged for taking a day off tomorrow to give myself some rest & time to clear my head. (I recognize this is coming with deep privilege to be able to have a job that allows me to take the day off, paid.)

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Hearing everyone's stories heightened my sense  of uncertainty. People that I have thought always have it together are going through so much right now and it's hard to see them feel uncertain, which then leads to  more uncertainty for me.

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Ambiguity: lack of clarity from our leaders - when dealing with COVID-19.

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Ambiguity: lack of clarity from our leaders - when dealing with COVID-19.

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Uncertainty: about our students, families, communities, and schools.

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Adam, I appreciate your vulnerability. My thoughts are with you while you're healing.

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This article may be helpful for you Adam or any others that are loss due to COVID-19.

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Bereavement is a painful, stressful, and difficult journey at the best of times. But grieving the loss of a loved one may be especially challenging during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Why Does the Pandemic Create Additional Strain for the Bereaved?
We live in highly uncertain times, and we are surrounded by fear, anxiety, and illness. But this pandemic will be especially stressful if already grieving the loss of a loved one. Some of the reasons for increased stress may include:

Being less able to receive in-person support from friends and family, potentially leading to a greater sense of isolation and loneliness.

A decrease in activity levels which may lead to more "thinking" time and a reduced ability to use hobbies and interests as helpful distractions.

High levels of social, health, and occupational uncertainty, reducing stability in life as you grieve, which can create difficulty planning for the future.

More frequent reminders about illness and death, including the fear that you will experience further loss.

There will be other stressful factors but, as we can see, the coping resources of a bereaved person are under severe strain in the context of the pandemic. You must have a clear game plan to help manage the additional challenges caused by COVID-19.
Coping Strategies
Here are some suggestions to help support your well-being while grieving during the pandemic:

Acknowledge that grieving at this time is more challenging than coping with loss outside a health crisis. You have additional sources of stress to contend with, so you must practice self-compassion. Signs of self-criticism might come in the form of beliefs like "I should be doing better than this" or "I am failing to keep it together." Failing to acknowledge the additional stress associated with the pandemic runs the risk of blaming yourself for something that is out of your control.

Staying connected to others is very important if you are grieving AND socially isolated. Often we don't feel like talking to others after losing a loved one. If you lack this motivation, try to book times for phone calls and video chats. Arrange these conversations as appointments you must keep. Agree on times with people in advance so you are more likely to follow through.

Alternate between "loss" and "restorative" activities. This idea comes from the dual-process approach to grief which says that people move been loss-related activities (e.g., looking at photos of the deceased, crying, talking about the person) and restorative exercises (e.g., making plans for the future, spending time on hobbies).

Consider minimizing the time you spend watching the news. It is sensible to be aware of major announcements by government and health officials. Outside of that, don't watch the news if it increases your stress levels.

You might find it useful to think about how your lost loved one would like you to respond in these circumstances. You can use this exercise to help generate coping strategies.

Alternatively, if you could talk to this person in 10 years, what would you like to say about how you coped during the pandemic? These final two strategies may not suit everyone, so only use them if they are right for you.
Summing Up
Everyone is living under difficult and stressful circumstances. The pandemic will be especially challenging for the bereaved. Having a clear coping plan is essential, and some of the strategies suggested above may form a part of that plan.
Facebook iamge: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock

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How to Cope with Bereavement During the COVID-19 Pandemic

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Bereavement is a painful, stressful, and difficult journey at the best of times. But grieving the loss of a loved one may be especially challenging during the COVID-19 pandemic. Why Does the Pandemic Create Additional Strain for the Bereaved? We live in highly uncertain times, and we are surrounded by fear, anxiety, and illness.