# data[].attributes.body
Standing in the frozen wind, he hoists his wreck of a fist into the burning blizzard. Gently, he shifts his head in the unnerving silence broken only by the piercing rage of the wind.

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Standing alone on the crumbling steps, he hoisted his conquering arm to the glistening sky. Strangely, there was a sound of unearthly and off-putting silence.

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On the top of the world, he held his victorious fist high to the blinded skys. Chillingly, there was the sound of unidentifiable silence.

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At the peak of the stairs to heaven,  he elevated his conquering hand to the vibrant sky. Chillingly, there was the sound of motionless nonchalant silence.

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Standing in the middle of the square, he hoisted his glorious arm to the gloomy sky. Ominously, there was the sound of equable and nonchalant silence.

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At the top of the parade square he hoisted his unvanquished fist to the sombre sky. Ominously there was the sound of impenetrable silence.

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By the side of the road, he hoisted his jubilant fist to the overcast sky.
Ominously, there was a sound of equanimous and nonchalant silence.

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Positioned across the river, he elevated his undefeated arm to the picturesque sky.
Queerly, there was sound of motionless silence which travelled through the cold air and walked to the ears.

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Before the fountain, he hoisted his victorious arm to the achromatic sky

sinisterly, there was the sound of pin drop silence

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Standing on top of the massive staircase, he confidently hoisted his mighty fist upon the sky that was slightly foggy, along with the street lights which gently glimmered. Uncannily, there was the sound of unimaginable silence.

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At the end of the stairwell, he hoisted his jubilant fist to the rhenish sky. Bizzarely, there was a sullen and equanimous silence.

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Atop the stairs, he elevated his conquering fist upwards despite the unwelcoming sky. Hauntingly, there was the sound of chilling, excruciating silence.

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In front of the square, he brought his glorious fist to the black and white horizon. Abnormally, there was an unearthly tone of serene and unflustered silence.

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At the side of the city centre, he clenched his mighty fist to the sky, lifting darkness. Mysteriously, there was a sound of motionless and restful silence

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At the climax of the stairs, he heartily upraised  his rejoicing arm into the daguerreotype sky.
Ominously, a tranquil and hushed silence was captured.

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Standing across from the square, he hoisted his victorious fist to the dismal sky above. Alarmingly, there was a chilling and uncomfortable sense of silence.

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Aloft the stairs,Neel asserted his dominance by the rampance manifested by the elevation of his muscular arms to the nebulous sky
Phantasmatically,there was a pale reverberation of tumultuous tranquillity

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Standing on the balcony of his penthouse, he victoriously hoisted his solid fist to the serene, evening city night. Astonishingly, there was an eerie sense of silence.

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Balancing on the tip of the rubble that once the well known hill, he hoisted his bloodied and bruised fist towards the eternal yellow-brown sky. Delightfully, there was the sound of peaceful yet damaged silence

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In continuity to his intense workout, Rocky Balboa raises his striking fist to the foggy sky. Expectedly, a speechless silent faces rocky

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Before the tall fountain, he raised his mighty arm to the misty sky. There was an eerie sound of silence that surrounded him.

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A tranquil pathway. Only one source of light: the scorching hot sun The lightly swaying trees, the weakly hanging branches and the delicate green leaves, all a victim to the serene winds.

# data[].attributes.body
-  increase the use of 'show not tell'
- personification and metaphors
- colour imagery

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The crowd of jubilant sightseers fascinatingly look upon the lively city of Sydney as they continue their extensive boat tour.

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The sound of the honking horns plagued the ears of the working class men that trek the overused streets. Rays of the blazing hot midday sun further disable them. Trees that were once a vibrant moss green now dull in colour and reduced to only a few, as power lines invade the space that was once theirs. Dust: prominent in the lungs of those who were forced to walk this wearying path.

Looking past the laundry loosely hung on the now decade old balcony, only the heads of those who walk by visible to me. Jet black, with what looked like white highlights but in reality were just the immense amounts of sweat that had accumulated over the short period of time.

Although filled with frustrated and impatient labourers, the street was also filled with the serene scent of fresh, firm fruit. Petite but desperate flies attacking them as they lay helplessly waiting to be bought.

Tuk Tuks advance through the road at a snails pace as their tyres struggle to cope with the rough terrain of the already worn out road, leaving tracks of tyre marks and a trail of leaked oil.  Frustrated drivers, continue to honk their horns as the already rather slow vehicle is further disturbed by the stubborn men and women who stood in front of them.

Men on bikes make their way through at a faster speed than the rest yet the scorching sun still an inconvenience. Women. swarm around the local stalls in hopes of purchasing fruit. One by one buying, then leaving through the sweat filled, congested and crowded army that stood behind.

As night falls, the popular path now quiet and tranquil. Lacking the hustle and bustle that it did a few hours ago. No one visible to the eye. An eerie yet common silence took over.

# data[].attributes.body
- concise writing
- advanced and descriptive vocabulary for effect
- apply more visual imagery
- use of ASMAPS

# data[].attributes.body
-focus more on using precise and light vocabulary but still creating a strong visual image in the mind of the reader.
-range of paragraph lengths and varied sentence structures
- use of colour imagery and use of senses (onomatopoeic language)
-vocabulary for effect

# data[].attributes.body
- To use more colour imagery, complex vocabulary, personification, oxymoron.
- ' show not tell'
- Visual imagery, Alliteration

# data[].attributes.body
to use a variety of sentence structures for effect as well as using complex vocabulary BUT still keeping it engaging and effective.
- visual imagery
- author's tone

# data[].attributes.body
- precise vocabulary
- personification
- sentence structure

# data[].attributes.body
- A range of sentence structures
-  Increase in range of vocabulary
-  Apply more colour imagery
- Personification, Alliteration

# data[].attributes.body
Focus on figures of speech and consistency with descriptions

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LACK OF :
- personification
- colour imagery
- complex vocabulary,
- senses

# data[].attributes.body
-  strong visual image through 'show not tell'
- increase vocabulary

# data[].attributes.body
expanding my vocabulary and figure the idea of an engaging piece of writing. Insert more visual imagery..?

# data[].attributes.body
- increase vocabulary
- range of sentence structures
- personification

# data[].attributes.body
- wider range of punctuation
- more sense and colour imagery
-show not tell

# data[].attributes.body
varied sentence structure, include senses, good visual imagery

# data[].attributes.body
-Range of higher level vocabulary (Primarily: Pathetic Fallacy, Personification, Assonance)
-Familiarise more with other language features I don't use much
-Show, not tell

# data[].attributes.body
- Use more imagery
- Use more language structures

# data[].attributes.body
- Implement more senses (touch,
smell, hearing, sight+taste)
- expand my vocab

# data[].attributes.body
-EXTEND IT
-personification
-Similes
-allitteration

# data[].attributes.body
descriptive vocabulary
personification

# data[].attributes.body
- use more adjective
- use more imagery
-use more personification or metaphors for effect

# data[].attributes.body
Reflected from the white matte tiles of the Sydney Opera House, the sharp sun rays sprinted towards the  jovial crowd on the boat. Sweat beaded down their backs as they tried to enjoy the sweltering heat by admiring the impressive landscape.

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Rocks rested reposefully: undisturbed by the silent screams of leaves treaded over by the robust wind. The moist mud, smooth pebbles and sodden silt stuck to the ground like stickers stuck on paper.
(alliteration) (oxymoron) (personification) (similie)

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Beyond the cluster of buildings, the silhouette of mountains overlooks the area. The red flag dances to the breeze of the wind. The reflection on the water enhances the pleasing atmosphere.

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A sliver of green cowered beneath the bridge, hidden from the burning sun by the cold heartless bridge. A green island amidst a concrete sea. Overwhelmed, it stands alone, a beacon of hope for natural beauty. Walls of trees protect it, battling against the oncoming buildings fighting for the already restricted light. Leaving the creatures on the ground suffocating in darkness

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The colourless concrete constructions blasting into the sky and reaching out to the boiling sun. The startling skyscrapers bathing in the spring-time sunlight. The Australian ocean reflecting the light of  beauty and magnificence of the Australian architecture in Sydney.

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Under the firm, narrow overpass, a pool of emerald green water scattered across the channel. There is a peculiar colour of glossy blue proceeding towards the water craft.

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The middle aged adults staring outside the lively city of Sydney. The sweaty, loud and exhausted tourists  were stacking one the burning metallic edges of the boat. Their heavy bags and circular beach hats with their typical sombre sunglasses hiding their blinded eyes by the bright sun.

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The single snow-white cloud sat lonely in the deserted sky, fulfilling her never-ending duties to humans. Like a hopeless slave she feels trapped as if she is being tied down.

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In the distance, fresh green trees rest themselves under the radiant sunlight.

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The bush of flowers stood out within the crowded buildings, along with fiery red flowers which contrasted the forest green on the bush.

# data[].attributes.body
use senses

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Bad para- Imposingly,the sky claws its prey similar to a lion clawing an ass,feasting on its corpse. The imperial vehicle rebelling against nature,striding across the overwhelming ale. Synthesis at war with nature, a calamitous affray

Good para - The bridge towered and the sky shone and the water ripples and the boat glided

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A gentle breeze blows through the soft underbrush shadowed by the bridge. Green brush walking on the edge of the river, inches away from the breath of the rushing river. Each leaf hanging from its parents arms over the bristling blades of grass.

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In fields of blue, the clouds are puffs of white magic. They are the radiance of a fresh site on an air canvas of such vivid colour. It adorned the heavens from below and the earth from above.

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Among the pleasantly intoxicating blue, specks of vagrant white slowly gliding across the

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The radiant ball of fire illuminated the towering, clustered buildings that reached purposely to sky with a sense of youthful exuberance.

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Large white flaps of the shelter by the water canopied over the ceramic tiles. Seating down on the small steps of the floating deck, one could dream to see the ripping waters, the small segulls hopping, before flapping away frantically as a passerby strode past.

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the vagrant white clouds fluttered in the lofty breezes

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The luminous light shines down on the rippling water as the boat strides through the lake, the city view in the background towers and watches over the lake like a guardian.

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A barren path. Piercing light illuminates its surroundings: blades of grass, shards of gravel, hidden shadows. Alluring sounds, glistening leaves, foliage of moss crowd the forest.

# data[].attributes.body
An overused road.

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The bright sky illuminated with light as it shined down to the blue waters. The buildings stood

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Amber dawn embraced the ever grey clouds. Warmth, a mildew scent, hung in the humid air. The line between morning and night burnt away in the cold morning. Soft orange afloat in the ever lasting sky, each strand of cold colour eased into clear warm shades from the rising sun. Serene clouds, a hue of pink, hugged by the gentle sky.

Colour hung over the mute dorms, where the soft buzz of a fan might have broken the silence. Ridged framed structures all a warm reliable brown. Untouched by the sun, cold windows fogged by the humid air. A blockade separating men from women lined with hidden ferns large and small. Each building enough to house: students drugged on work, the chaotic scatter of books, untarnished rewards. Gently, a soft warm glow outlined the mist covered hills shrouded by the white silhouette of trees. Soundlessly,  dark windows held reflections of the undisturbed air.

Empty paths, fractures in the empty grass, grey cement eroded from the constant tread of shoes during the zenith of the sun. Ended at the barricade

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
The light has consumed all: the trees, the road, the leaves, the grass.

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Light cornered me. I felt no ray of comfort ; as i knew now that the once warm sun had now exposed me. The chirping birds, the dancing trees, and the lush green grass tugged at my heart strings, as i knew that the once homey forest, would crumble into ashes.

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Light permeated darkness: shedding life onto a long forgotten pathway. The  snake-like branch, the protective arching canopy and the vivid green leaves battled against the light, trying to contain the shimmering rays.

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Dirt vibing calmingly. Shimmering life: A physical entity, upon the deathly hollows we call forests. A well trekked path sheltered by the foilage of moss green leaves, the irritable buzzing, soft swoops of stale wind and miniature spores

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Bad sentence - A lush esplanade.
Good sentence - A long path

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The sunlight shone. The train drove off, leaving permanent marks: two smokey white trails. The chocolate brown dirt, lime green trees and the deep green moss framed the path asking: "Why is Archie's padlet still white?"

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A wild forest.
The suspense features: Thin light, tall trees, absence of animals encapsulate a movie setting.
The mysterious setting: Dark, quiet, insects

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Luminescence approached him,  there were two choices: step into the circle of light or run down the  eerie forest. The rigid sage green leaves, the nut brown stock and the flashing sun fought through, seizing anyone who enters

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Light penetrates dullness. The path provides a guide: paving a way out of the forrest. The effulgence from the sun engulfs the muddy umber brown path, the fern green leaves, and the staunch branches of the trees.

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The enchanted path. There were two choices: follow the allurement path or get suffocated by the towering trees. The grimy, gravelled path, the arched witch-like branch and the luminous sun broke through, capturing those who dared. Recklessly, bundles of trees crash against one another in a copacetic manner, flouncing along with the wandering wind as their otherworldly hands rustle against one another. Vivacious, emerald green leaves prance and tumble to the ground stretching and coating over the magically rich soil like a blanket. A hypnotising, siren chirp permeated the atmosphere, echoing in the obscure distance. Peace lingered on.

The eye of paradise adorned the enigmatic trees, revealing the masked secrets within the hickory brown bark followed by a trail of virescent moss that writhed around. It’s rigidness and creases cried out sap that reflected the fluorescent light, glinting and glimmering like pools of scintillating diamond dust. Exhilarating, iridescent mist caressed the zestful sprouts. The forest’s charismatic yet haunting ballad entranced me; it radiated opulence and charm. Only the harmony of nature filtered the pensive silence that overhung and in the atmosphere. A hollow echoing entombed the forest. Closing your eyes grants the forest to claim your body, allowing the palliative and vivid aroma of nature, from the lush soil to the willow bark to cleanse your soul and drift into infinity. The forest was alive.

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A twisting path. A journey that is similar to that of a song: it rises and falls. It invites the pale morning light, the glossy rain, and the gentle warmth into its ever-changing tempo.

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Light injected emptiness, shadows are formed: Light rays are shone onto the path formed of tainted concrete and crunchy leaves

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A deserted pathway. Light illuminated in, bringing: tranquility and warmth. The emerald green leaves,

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under shadowy groves, flecks of light shining through; in the small cracks of the leaves. the crooked long thin branches, gnarly dormant trunks and

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Branches were creaking ; spores engulfing the trees

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Darkness fades away.

His mission: To conquer all, has failed. as light will always be by his side.

The tall trees, the fantastical flowers and the silent squirrels, all soaked with sunrise.

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An ominous path; light eminent as the tree blocked it off.

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A candescent glow : infusing through the salable, verdant trees. The

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The sunset gave the trees what they needed most: peace and warmth. The sloppy syrup-like mud, the moss green leaves and the rough pecan bark sucked in trespassers who dared to enter.

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The lushness welcomed their god by greeting him : "Oh great Neel please grace us with your omnipotence". A robust god,verdant conifers and an interminable berm,all merging together to welcome the titan,Neel.

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Dark bows a-hang.

The Night:it shrouds the world in darkness and peaces the cover of dark things and dark actions.

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The scorching sun pestered the strollers as they hastily walked past a hustling street, narrowed due to the numerous street vendors, forcing people to walk in single, straight files like soldiers going to battle. Winds, as hot as fire, slapped the passersby furiously, turning the street into an unbearable chunk of hell: sand particles carried along, being grated in their teeths with dust everywhere, leaving its scent in their nostrils.

Laid amongst the piled up rotten mangoes at a corner of the street, on a broken vendor’s cart, packed to the point that putrid mango juices bathed me from all sides and my flesh pierced out of my skin revealing my seed to the boiling atmosphere. Undisturbed by the detestable situation, I gazed at mankind that sweat profusely walking on the coarse, asphalt roadway, that was scraped to the core, revealing the little stones that rolled in the sand each time a heavy foot step was forced on them.

Sweat beaded on the forehead of the driver that came by to drop off chirping school children in a bitter gourd green and mustard yellow van adding colour to the ambience; bags on the van’s roof collided with each other as tyres struggled to cope with the broken road, checkering the earth with wheel prints alongside smears of petrol that bled from the guffawing engines of vehicles.

Retailers stepped out of their congested, dilapidated stores to skip the suffocating air that circulated inside and sat on cracked footpaths with ends shaved off violently. Radiant, freshly washed, drenched clothes shedded tears as they dashed down towards the wrinkled, dusky foreheads of vendors giving them momentary pleasure in midst of the striking winds that held humidity like a sponge absorbs water. While the fresh water was welcomed, tenacious sweat particles trickling down the roasted man’s neck was irritably rubbed off with a disintegrating piece of damp fabric staining the skin poppy red.

It seemed as if all the sounds in the world had come to a reunion: the deafening chaos made ears split as if you were standing under a blaring speaker. Swarms of people climbed on top of each other as vendors and shopkeepers yelled prices of commodities as auctioneers perspiring shoppers wove their way skillfully by locating minute spaces between people and squeezing through. Exasperating women bargained at the top of their voices as they proudly bared the torture of the flamed market which roared with rage as shops and streets became further packed with passing time. Cars, tuk tuks and unbalanced bikes tried to surmount as they carelessly honked to the river of people ahead who ignored the vehicles, resulting in a snail-like slow, discontinuous drive increasing the cloud of smoke emitted into the atmosphere making it a dusty desert.

Honking, shouting, clinging and bargaining all faded with light as night approached. Seldom has anyone seen the roaring market sleeping at night, lifeless and silent as an extinguished bonfire. The true beauty of silence awoke as people silently closed the shutters of their shops and prepared to advance to their homes just as the owner tucked us in a white, cool, cotton blanket putting all my pulpy companions to sleep.

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Gracefully,divinity swarming inscrutable countenance escorted with poise.Exquisite,yet messy jet black hair lining the mahogany skin like River Nile.Omnipotence flourishing with a godlike complexion, seraphic smile and luminescent eyes.Scent detected through a gargantuan proboscis. An elixir of immortality.A lush esplanade above the iris.A kingpin beaming intoxication.An effigy to be worshiped,empyrean relations,condescending towards mortality.The serpentine mouth ready to devovour adversaries in the event of turmoil and dissension.Mechanical chains chains present on the fangs of eminence.The valetudinarian turned productive through a piercing gaze.The succedaneum for nothingness turned into bliss.Conveying nothing,yet everything.The creator,not the sustainer.An unparalleled deiry like charm.Vermillion lips with a sun golden texture complimenting a chiseled jawline.

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An impenetrable wall of noise, all the sounds compressed into one. A once proud jungle stained and poisoned, a once thick canopy now in tatters. It struggles to supply oxygen fighting against the putrid smoke that snakes out of exhausts and chimneys. Thousands of trees reduced to a few, power lines cut through it, another stain of mankind, weaving though branches carrying vital power but costing so much. Tuk Tuks zoom by, there slipstream whipping up the dust, creating a mini tornado of unbreathable air. It's bright colours are magnified by the lack of colour in the surrounding area. Humans in need of travel drift towards it, like bees to honey. Rushing through the cabin, the cool wind is the only relief to the stifling temperatures, a cool bath to clean the drives and the passenger. The pedestrians, jealous, longing for a cool breeze to rid them of the hellish heat. Sweat disappears, mouth cracks and skin suffers. Not moisture survives, the body tries to fight of the oncoming heat but it's futile. Lips crack and the tongue craves water. Only a sip, only one droplet to moisten the mouth to help get rid of the layer of dust. The only respite for the people is shade. A room or an object, anything to protect from the burning sun. It finds skin and flesh cooking it

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Glares flushed the skies. Falling towards the summit of the mountains in the distance, pigmented sheets , bold scattered looking across the skies of blue,  and rose.

At a distance, a flush of sorted trees placed around scattered houses; fixed and old fashioned.  Roads twist and turn in all possible directions to bring a new place to the eye. But, the invisible air begins to gust in to blow hair away to catch breath-taking view , just about at the edge of the  shimmering atmosphere as if space is near. The glossy blue sky, glooming stars shine, the trees become hunter green disappearing as the sky becomes filled with colours.

The bag of air falls towards citizens, almost ant like from the skies, minding their business hanging out with families. Going to school, being as free as the air in the sky. Wearing the mask. Socially distanced. But land being completely rural

# data[].attributes.body
Night has fallen. A starry sky. The lights illuminated the skies like a blaze that will carry rainbows into the darkness. Lights brought fire to the night, a green river that flows to sweet rhythms through the air. The night sky was so bright that at each sunset it seemed wondrous, promising to return when the first light of dawn disappeared. Stars covered the heavens in a newly transformed ground as pale maize. It was the promise of living in the dark, the embrace of the cold that sprang. It was an enormity that brought humility and an everlasting room for home comfort. This little moment has been watched by the celestial bodies, which had seen the same for hundreds and thousands of years. The craftsmanship of the plateau was on top of the mountains in the untouched upper echelon. In the cloistered snowy air, the mountains clad in evergreen are shrouded in white. Preparing for liftoff, the balloon is filled with a golden ball of fire that ignites the darkness and outlines the stars. On that wintery night, the fires reflected the starlight. The fires spark with the exhilaration of the fiery dancer, flecks pirouetting and dancing like there is no tomorrow.

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Army of footballer invading the stadiums capacity. The screams roaming around the field beaming into the night clouds and the fading crystal blue sky. Glorious battle ongoing. The emotional celebrations illustrating the immense passion for soccer at a universal level. Olive green spikes of grass dancing as the grey startling boots crash and collide into them excessively.

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Light easily pierced through autumns crumbing leaves; the tireless tanned trees barely provided any shade. A petite dog had it's curious nose in the lush grass, picking up scents of sharp pine, delicate buttercups and fallen leaves. Its industrious snuffles were muffled by the incoherent chatter around it.

# data[].attributes.body
A blazing ray of light, shining onto the sea of people, walking feet awakening dust,

# data[].attributes.body
Above the vibrantly coloured hot air balloons is the sharp achromatic sky starting to glimmer golden orange as the sun begins to set. The light rays reflect on the faces of people riding in the hot air balloons. At a distance, a sparrow soars high up into the heavens gliding and following the gust of wind. From its perspective, the city looks like a complicated old fashioned map. The roads twist and turn with people looking like ants.

# data[].attributes.body
A carefree afternoon; clear blue skies without a single cloud blocking the view. Sunlight shone gleamingly, creating a vibrant and lively atmosphere.

Beneath the sky was an enormous field of mossy green grass, spread out like a well maintained green carpet. Two rows of trees of different shapes and sizes sprouted from the ground, with both green and red leaves that covered the branches like tons of bushes on one tree trunk, which framed a tan and slightly rocky pathway. Some trees, however, looked quite dull and lifeless. Those trees also framed another path, but this pathway was instead, dark and a bit creepy. Therefore, no one dared to go near those trees. Despite the beauty and bushes of leaves of most of the trees, each and every tree barely provided any shade.

In the distance, the view of a building was blocked by some of the trees, what seemed to look like an abandoned castle. Although it was abandoned, the castle looked like it was in perfect shape. Every intricate detail of each tower was extremely noticeable. The pathway framed by the dull and lifeless trees led to that castle.

Multiple families comfortably sitting socially distanced on the massive green carpet. Each family brought along a couple of things with them: bicycles, food, their puppies and others. As they were sitting down, they joyfully chatted with one another. Occasionally, some of them seemed to be playing games. Different shades of grey shadows were created by them and the trees depending which way the sun shone.

# data[].attributes.body
In the dark, dense, and deeply silent forest, the azure sky vanished almost completely, leaving place to a lighter shade as the day came to an end. Only a few shades of the beautiful cyan blue remained, like spread out pieces of a puzzle, trying to find their way back into the forest, only to be faced with the mighty shield of its deep green canopy.

As the day was setting, and its warmth disappeared, a burst of cold air softly blew through the woods. The leaves shivered, hanging on to the last hours of heat and comfort of the day, when the last ray of sun finally found its way through the thick forest, towering the trees. The light was so bright, the leaves gleaned in the sun, of a rich yellow, almost golden, hanging above the dark green woods like stars in a pitch black night sky.

In the distance a majestic owl plummeted into the woods, balancing itself in the air, scouting for a place to spend the night. The air was rich with an earthy and natural smell of leaves. The wind started to howl, shaking vigorously the branches and dropping their leaves to the ground without a sound, like fragile and shiny snowflakes on christmas day. The leaves swirled softly to the ground, dancing to the rhythm of the wind, and singing a soft soothing melody in the depths of the forest.

The owl stopped and landed on an old, dark oak tree, alertly surveying its eerie yet peaceful surroundings. The haunting shadows of twisted branches darted across the mossy floor, laying a carpet of darkness and mystery, that the creepy woods silently rested upon.