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National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention (Action Alliance) is a public-private partnership that was formed to help reduce suicide in the United States and its American Indian/Alaska Native Task Force focuses on reducing suicide in among this population .

To help advance the Action Alliance's priority to change the public conversation about suicide, the American Indian/Alaska Native Task Force developed National American Indian/Alaska Native Hope for Life Day, which coincides with World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10. They also developed the National Hope for Life Day Toolkit to help community leaders, grassroots organizers, and health care professionals working in American Indian/Alaska Native communities implement a community-wide Hope for Life Day.

This will help community organizers take specific steps to change the conversation about suicide, spread awareness, and foster hope to help address suicide in their communities. Organizers are encouraged to host culturally tailored activities to promote hope, life, cultural connection, and community transformation. Examples of cultural activities can be found in " Ideas for Implementing Cultural Activities," which is in the Toolkit Elements section below.

Background

On June 30, 2015, the National Council of Urban Indian Health (NCUIH), in partnership with the Action Alliance's American Indian/Alaska Native Task Force, put forward a resolution at the National Congress of American Indians (NCAI) Mid-Year Conference in St. Paul, Minnesota. The resolution, "Creating an Annual National American Indian and Alaska Native Hope for Life Day (Suicide Prevention Awareness Day)," was the outcome of a one-year collaborative effort by task force members.

The purpose of the resolution was to request a U.S. presidential proclamation that a National American Indian/Alaska Native Hope for Life Day would be held each year on September 10, which is during Suicide Prevention Week. The resolution encourages collaboration with federal agencies, including the Department of Health and Human Services, Indian Health Service, Bureau of Indian Education and Bureau of Indian Affairs within the Department of Interior, and Department of Education. It also encourages collaboration with national Indian and non-Indian organizations and other groups. NCAI's Health Subcommittee and Human Resources Committee deliberated, amended, and passed the resolution.

Although a presidential proclamation still has not been achieved, this resolution advances the strategy of engaging American Indian/Alaska Native communities in healing through National Hope for Life Day. The goal of the observance is to highlight the disparities in suicide between American Indian/Alaska Native people and other racial/ethnic groups in the U.S. in order to empower change and create hope in communities.

Click here to access the final resolution passed at the 2015 NCAI Mid-Year Conference.

Toolkit Elements

Fact Sheets and Data

Tips and Ideas for Hope for Life Day Activities

Ready to Use Templates

Resources

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
988 is the easy to remember three-digit dialing, texting, and chat code for anyone experience a suicidal or mental health related crisis. As the U.S.-based universal dialing code connecting individuals to the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (now known as the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) -a network of local crisis centers throughout the country -988 increases the accessibility and use of life-saving interventions and resources.

When someone calls, texts, or chats 988 for themselves or someone they know who is in crisis, they will be connected to a trained crisis counselor 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year who will listen compassionately and non-judgmentally. It's important to note that the previous 1-800-273-8255 number will always remain available to people in emotional distress or suicidal crisis and will connect them with the same Lifeline network.

SPRC's " Suicide Prevention Resource Center (SPRC)
American Indian/Alaska Native Settings webpage provides access to a wide range of suicide prevention resources for American Indians and Alaska Natives.

The " Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
Tribal Training and Technical Assistance Center offers training and technical assistance on mental and substance use disorders, suicide prevention, and mental health promotion for AI/AN communities. To Live to See the Great Day That Dawns is a guide to help AI/AN people develop effective and culturally appropriate suicide prevention programs. American Indian and Alaska Native: Tribal Affairs is a webpage with links to many national resources on behavioral health, including suicide, that are helpful for American Indian/Alaska Native people.

IHS' "
Suicide Prevention and Care Program webpage provides information and links to resources on suicide prevention and care for Native people.

Native Connections is a five-year grant program that helps American Indian/Alaska Native communities identify and address the behavioral health needs of Native youth.

We R Native is a website for and by Native youth on many health and mental health issues, including suicide. It includes both information and personal stories from Native youth. We R Native also hosts the Native Crisis Text Line, where anyone in crisis or needing help can simply text 'NATIVE' to 741741 and be immediatey connected with a trained crisis counselor. All support and resources shared will remain confidential.

Tribal Health: Reaching out InVolves Everyone
Tribal Health: Reaching out InVolves Everyone (THRIVE) is a suicide prevention project of the Northwest Portland Area Indian Health Board with a website that has resources for Native people throughout the U.S.

One Sky Center is a national resource center with a focus on improving prevention and treatment of mental health and substance abuse problems and services among Native people.

Zero Suicide is a highly effective framework for the creation of suicide-safer care that can be adapted to a range of health and behavioral health care systems. However, implementing the framework in Indian Country has led to challenges related to culture, language, or concepts of what healing and wellness may mean to the Tribe or the community, as well as difference in resources and views of standardized measurement and data gathering. The Zero Suicide in Indian Country
Best and Promising Practices for the Implementation of Zero Suicide in Indian Country aims to serve as a specialization step for health systems in Indian Country who are looking for guidance on how to implement the Zero Suicide framework in culturally relevant ways.

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National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention (Action Alliance) is a public-private partnership that was formed to help reduce suicide in the United States and its American Indian/Alaska Native Task Force focuses on reducing suicide in among this population .

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In this eye-opening interview, we sit down with Laura O'Brien and David Howard, two passionate advocates in the field of mental health and suicide prevention. They share their experiences, insights, and expertise, shedding light on the risks associated with self-medication and the vital importance of seeking professional help.

Laura, drawing from her own personal journey, highlights the potential dangers and consequences of self-prescribing drugs or medication. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the complexities of mental health conditions and the need for individualized treatment plans tailored by qualified professionals.

David, a dedicated advocate for suicide prevention, adds his perspective on the matter. With a deep understanding of the potential risks and challenges individuals face, he emphasizes the significance of accessible mental health services and the support they provide in guiding individuals towards proper treatment options.

Tune in to our upcoming episode of ANSHISM Podcast to hear the invaluable insights and advice shared by Laura O'Brien and David Howard. Together, let's raise awareness, break the stigma surrounding mental health, and encourage individuals to seek professional help.

If you're struggling or need help please us the following links :
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/

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Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/anshismpodcast/message

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stories of hope in mental health and suicide prevention ft. laura & david

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‎ANSHISM Podcast by Ansh Sachdeva: Stories of Hope in Mental Health and Suicide Prevention FT. Laura & David on Apple Podcasts

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In this eye-opening interview, we sit down with Laura O'Brien and David Howard, two passionate advocates in the field of mental health and suicide prevention. They share their experiences, insights, and expertise, shedding light on the risks associated with self-medication and the vital importance o...

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Latest Blog from Vibrant
When 9/11 happened, I joined the Marines. The Marines gave me a sense of being and purpose.

When you're in the Marines, you are trained from the first day that death is creeping in. It's always creeping in. It has to be on top of your mind. That I might die in Iraq was more of a reality than the reality of making it back home. I was quite comfortable with dying in war.

But I did survive war. I survived it twice. After IEDs and close encounters that created endless anxiety and hyper-vigilance, I made it home and was completely unprepared. I felt guilty that I was alive, with nothing to my name but an old Volkswagen Passat and a couch to sleep on back at my parents' house. At the time, I wished I had died in Iraq. It would have been a noble way to go out, to be remembered and honored. Deep down, I was envious of my friends and others that didn't make it home. They didn't have to plan for the future, while I was staring at the ceiling on my mom's couch wondering what the hell was I going to do.

I went to college, but the secret guilt of still being alive stayed with me throughout college. Nothing in college felt remotely close to the military, to the purpose of the war. I started to drink heavily my freshman year and struggled with alcohol for years after that. Pot became a nice addition with alcohol. When I was drinking and smoking, I didn't have to deal with the world. I didn't have to think about life. Couple those two with some pills and I had quite the cocktail for numbing my existence.

One day in December, I decided that life was too hard to bear. In the moment of my suicide attempt, I thought of the times that were tough and the times that brought me joy. I realized during that dark hour that this was not how I wanted things to end. This was not how I wanted to be remembered. Making it home from war was a blessing in disguise that I didn't see until the moment I nearly ended my life, eight years ago.

This was my dark secret until now. I want to share this with you because life is complicated, hard, and often a constant struggle. But that doesn't mean you have to do it alone. There are too many people that care in the world. I learned that the hard way. I cannot thank those people who helped me enough. They helped because they cared and wanted me to live.

All of the negative feelings almost robbed me of a life worth living. Now I want to take the time I have and use it wisely, to make up for lost time and focus on bettering myself and others' lives. I care more now than ever, and it's because I know what it was like to not give anything at all.

Follow Mike Liguori's writing on Medium.

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Here's What I Learned From My Suicide Attempt - Vibrant Emotional Health

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In the moment of my suicide attempt, I thought of the times that were tough and the times that brought me joy. I realized during that dark hour that this was not how I wanted things to end.

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If you or someone you know is thinking about or have been impacted by suicide, we’re here to help.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
http://www.headquarterscounselingcenter.org/learn-more/

Travis Young tells the story of his unimaginably grim youth, his ensuing depression and two suicide attempts—and how he reclaimed his own unique outlook on life through the lens of a camera. 

Travis shoots pictures everywhere he goes and develops the film in his Kansas City apartment, using photography not only as art and vocation, but as a therapeutic practice to frame the events and emotions of his life with context and understanding.

Featured as an Editor's Pick on AdAge's Creativity - http://adage.com/creativity/work/waste-film/946846

Winner - Best Short Documentary - KS Filmmaker - Tallgrass Film Festival 2018
Winner - Award of Excellence - IndieFEST Film Awards 2018
Official Selection - 2019 Santa Fe Film Festival
Director - Joshua Dubois
Director of Photography - Nick Stout & Joshua Dubois
Still Photography - Travis Young - @TravisLikesFilm
Original Music - Primary Color Music

#suicideispreventable #800273TALK #LETITOUT

Shot on: 
Arri Alexa Mini
Zeiss Cinema Lenses

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I Can Be Happiness

Behavioral Health Link's Star Carter first noticed her spark for comedy in fourth grade, but after her first husband died of a heart attack when she was just 23 years old, humor was a path out of the darkness. Filmed in May 2020, Star hopes to bring a piece of joy during the worst of times.

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Behavioral Health Link's Star Carter first noticed her spark for comedy in fourth grade, but after her first husband died of a heart attack when she was just 23 years old, humor was a path out of the darkness. Filmed in May 2020, Star hopes to bring a piece of joy during the worst of times.

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I almost died by suicide. Its grasp was almost too strong, and I felt hopeless. I believed there weren't people who cared whether I lived or died and yet, I am still here. How did I get here?

To tell that story I need to start at the beginning: I had an abusive and impoverished childhood, and for as long as I can remember I always suffered from depression and anxiety. I either felt like I was in an insurmountable rut or that I was being overwhelmed by too many stressors at once. Even as a kid, I contemplated what the world would look like without me.

Somehow, I survived the battlefield that is adolescence - albeit with many emotional scars. It was 2009; I was 21 years old and the Great Recession coupled with a loss of career direction made it feel like the world was crumbling around me. At first, I escaped into the world of theatre, but financial hardship soon made it impossible to keep playing make-believe forever. It wasn't too long before I entered a new battlefield: the US Army. I had to make a drastic life change, and at the time joining the military seemed like the best way out of yet another seemingly insurmountable rut. It would end up being the most significant decision of my life - and nearly causing the end of it.

I shipped off to basic combat training, feeling ill-prepared for what lay ahead but committed to seeing it through to the end. I simply had to succeed because there was no plan B if I failed. I felt if I did, I might as well not be living anymore.

Surviving basic training was the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. Not so much the physical, but rather the mental toll it took on me and everyone around me. I was really affected by having to carry off one of my fellow soldiers who experienced a catatonic episode. I didn't have a word for it at the time, but I knew that feeling from personal experience. I knew the kinds of thoughts that were taking place behind those glazed-over and barely blinking eyes, and they weren't good.

Surprising even myself, I graduated basic training and made my way to the Arizona desert for the next stage in my army career. The constant stress from weekly tests that only got more difficult, poor leadership and feelings of loneliness kept building up day by day, until I couldn't take it anymore. So, late one afternoon I walked into the dining facility and sat down next to one of the few people I felt like I could talk to and told them I wanted to die. And then I froze.

For a very long time.

I had what they called a catatonic episode. I could see, smell and hear the world around me (including the laughter), but I couldn't physically respond back. By the time I broke out of it I was lying in the emergency room. Like the soldier I had once helped, I now had to be lifted out of my seat and forced onto a stretcher.

I tried to get past that humiliating experience like it never happened, but my mental health was only growing worse and just a couple days later I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for six days. By the time I came back to my unit, it was clear that the only option for me was to be medically discharged from the army with little to show for my time served. I felt like I had failed.

I had hoped I would be able to bounce back once I returned home. But day after day and week after week those hopes slowly began to fade away. I was discharged in October and by Christmas that year I had completely fallen apart. I lost track of the days, my hygiene was poor, I wasn't getting out or socializing much and I felt like I had very little to live for.

The grasp of suicide wrapped itself around me, and I was out of energy trying to fight against it. I remember being around family on Christmas and feeling so worthless and unworthy of being there. At the end of the night, I called a friend who had moved away and told him I intended to die by suicide that night. This was going to be the end of my story.

But it wasn't the end. I didn't die that night. Once again, I survived. Now, I'd be lying if I said I had some miraculous intervention that led me to "see the light" and cured me of my depression. But I did commit that I would no longer live with these feelings in silence. However, the fact that I was willing to talk to my friend about my pain and there was someone actually willing to listen meant there was still some hope for improvement.

After that, I kept speaking up - not just with friends but within my community, as well as online. I started sharing my story and visiting local colleges, then hospitals and psychiatric centers, similar to ones where I was once a patient, to try to offer some hope and comfort during their darkest times, since I wish someone had done that for me. From there, my online presence continued to grow and pretty quickly I was sharing my story and advocating for better mental health care across various platforms. I started traveling the country and connecting with people from all over the world. I found my calling, and it was about speaking up - something I used to be so ashamed about.

Now, every Sunday I host a live online talk show called SPSM Chat - Suicide Prevention on Social Media . I interview some of the leading voices in the field of suicide prevention, as well as provide a platform for rising voices whose stories deserve to be told. When I took over the show from creator Dr. April Foreman, my goal was to build a space where people from all walks of life, including me, could be as open about suicide as they are about their favorite hobbies or TV shows. I want to be able to ask people about suicide and give them a place they can feel comfortable enough to respond honestly.

Suicide is still a topic that is not talked about nearly enough, and it is a detriment to us all because it leaves people living with suicidal feelings and ideation in silence. I'm alive today because there are people around me who I can reach out to when I am suffering. Because of that, suicidal thoughts no longer have a grasp on me.

Please know you are not alone. If you or someone you know is struggling emotionally or has concerns about their mental health, there are ways to get help. Please see a list of resources below.

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Call the National Alliance on Mental Illness HelpLine at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264)

Call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration at 1-800-626-HELP (4357)

Text HOME to 741741 for free, 24/7 crisis support in the U.S.

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Why Talking About Suicide Should Be Normalized

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"I'd be lying if I said I had some miraculous intervention that led me to 'see the light' and cured me of my depression. But I did commit that I would no longer live with these feelings in silence." Read Rudy's story to learn more about his journey and how he advocates for suicide prevention.

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Author, public speaker and suicide survivor Mequell Buck, along with her husband Adam, have an open and honest discussion about issues surrounding mental illness. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, but always insightful.

Author, public speaker and suicide survivor Mequell Buck, along with her husband Adam, have an open and honest discussion about issues surrounding mental illness. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, but always insightful.

Ashley Barker

Great podcast for everyone! I have LEARNED sooo much listening to these two! The information they talk about can be used to improve all types of relationships!

New to the Crowd

I'm newly diagnosed with Bipolar and have found Mequell and Adam a huge help in accepting and embracing this new diagnosis. As a health care professional I am ashamed to say I didn't recognize my own struggles with mental illness until a recent "mental breakdown" forced me to live life at a slower pace. I was contemplating suicide and felt no one understood and that if I did make it through the darkness somehow my partner of 6 years would walk away. I now know it is possible to have a thriving, loving, and successful marriage as well as life with my newly discovered friend Bipolar.

Incredible podcast!

Adam and Mequell are SO authentic, insightful and amazingly generous to share so many of their experiences with all of us so that we have more tips, resources, and positive thoughts on how we can all thrive and have a stronger mental awareness. Everyone should have a listen.

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mequell buck: thriving with mental illness

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‎Mequell Buck: Thriving with Mental Illness on Apple Podcasts

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Author, public speaker and suicide survivor Mequell Buck, along with her husband Adam, have an open and honest discussion about issues surrounding mental illness. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious, but always insightful. Author, public speaker and suicide survivor Mequell Buck, along with her husband Adam, have an open and honest discussion about issues surrounding mental illness.

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Life after suicide loss is nothing short of a wasteland of the leftover pieces of your shattered heart, of your former self. Join host Melissa, a mother who lost her 21-year old son Alex to suicide in 2016, as she has real conversations with other loss survivors, healers and mental health experts. In these conversations she explores the relevant topics and asks the hard questions we all need to talk about and hear answers to. Nothing is 'off limit' as she delves into areas such a trauma, hope, healing, self-care, stigma, grief & mental health. Melissa believes that we learn to live with our grief ,not get over it, and only through real, honest talk and mindful choices can we move forward in this new life (one we never wanted). Along with finding the comfort of a community and hope for a little brighter tomorrow, you too just may begin to fill your own 'grief toolbox' with some good, solid tools to help you find, even learn to love, your (new) self along the way.

Life after suicide loss is nothing short of a wasteland of the leftover pieces of your shattered heart, of your former self. Join host Melissa, a mother who lost her 21-year old son Alex to suicide in 2016, as she has real conversations with other loss survivors, healers and mental health experts. In these conversations she explores the relevant topics and asks the hard questions we all need to talk about and hear answers to. Nothing is 'off limit' as she delves into areas such a trauma, hope, healing, self-care, stigma, grief & mental health. Melissa believes that we learn to live with our grief ,not get over it, and only through real, honest talk and mindful choices can we move forward in this new life (one we never wanted). Along with finding the comfort of a community and hope for a little brighter tomorrow, you too just may begin to fill your own 'grief toolbox' with some good, solid tools to help you find, even learn to love, your (new) self along the way.

Stopping the stigma

While suicide is very difficult to discuss, this podcast helps listeners to better understand mental health and what it can be like to lose a loved one to suicide. These topics are often stigmatized in our society but conversations like the ones Melissa has are crucial to stopping the stigma. With a wide variety of guests, Melissa unpacks the various tools that can be used to guide one through the grief that comes with losing someone to suicide. Thank you Melissa for having tough conversations and using your own experiences to help others.

Melissa is getting the word out about suicide loss.

It's a terribly tough subject to talk about. Suicide. Melissa does a great job of making it easy to share your experience and your feelings about it. It's not easy being a survivor of suicide loss. She's sharing tools for getting through this life altering event.

A light in the Darkness

Melissa is doing incredible work allowing those who are in their darkest times to feel, grieve and sometimes find light even when it may feel "wrong." Weather you've been affected by suicide loss or not you need to hear these episode. They helped me understand those suffering in such a real and human way that I hadn't before. Thank you Melissa!

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the leftover pieces; suicide loss conversations

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‎The Leftover Pieces; Suicide Loss Conversations on Apple Podcasts

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‎Life after suicide loss is nothing short of a wasteland of the leftover pieces of your shattered heart, of your former self. Join host Melissa, a mother who lost her 21-year old son Alex to suicide in 2016, as she has real conversations with other loss survivors, healers and mental health experts.

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Toolkit for people who have been impacted by a suicide loss

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Surviving the Darkness: A Suicide Survivor’s Story | Ashley Rinkel | TEDxUAlberta

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Suicide attempt survivors offer insight and a message of hope

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A psychiatrist shares her professional understanding of suicide and relates her own experiences of anguish, guilt, anger, and healing following the death of her twenty-five-year-old son in a chronicle for survivors, families, and professionals.
Book Synopsis
On November 16, 1984, Sue Chance's son committed suicide. In this vivid personal account of the aftermath of that event, she shares her pain, guilt, and anger, her expertise as a psychiatrist, and her methods for healing. With incredible power and honesty, she speaks to other survivors of a loved one's suicide, as well as to anyone who has ever contemplated suicide, weaving her personal experience with practical information about normal reactions among suicide survivors.

For nine months following her son's death, Dr. Chance kept a journal. Excerpts from that journal convey the immediacy and intensity of her reactions and chronicle her steps toward recovery. While rich in strategies for getting on with life, the book does nothing to minimize the turmoil and searing grief experienced by survivors.

It is estimated that more than 200,000 people in the United States are added to the ranks of suicide survivors each year. These individuals need the message of this book to know that they are, indeed, stronger than death.

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stronger than death - by  sue chance (paperback)

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Stronger Than Death - by Sue Chance (Paperback)

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A psychiatrist shares her professional understanding of suicide and relates her own experiences of anguish, guilt, anger, and healing following the death of her twenty-five-year-old son in a chronicle for survivors, families, and professionals. Book Synopsis On November 16, 1984, Sue Chance's son committed suicide.

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Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors

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Books for Survivors of Suicide | Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors

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Many loss survivors have found reading to be a helpful part of their healing journey. Here you will find books for adults, teens and children, as well as books that address a specific loss, such as loss of a child, spouse or sibling. Because loss by suicide is often traumatic, we also offer books on post-traumatic stress.

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NOTE: This is a blog post that originally appeared on Listverse. Note that in nearly every case, there was a complete stranger ready to help, whether it was in-person, online, or using social media. This is in keeping with the spirit of The Friendship Bench: often helping people can start with a simple "hello".

Stories about suicide are depressingly common. Turn on the news or type "suicide" into Google and you'll be assaulted with countless tales of misery, depression and bitter, lonely deaths.

However, not every attempted suicide ends badly. Sometimes, just occasionally, people reach rock bottom, only to find a tiny flicker of hope-that microscopic moment that makes them realize life is still worth living.

10. The Long Wait

In December 2001, Barry Parr was working as a window cleaner in a tiny UK village. One afternoon, just as he was finishing a job, he heard a yell and looked up to see a 14-year-old girl preparing to hang herself from a nearby tree.

Already showing signs of his incipient heroism, Parr grabbed his ladder and raced across the road to try and talk her down. And that's when things got real.The moment Parr started to climb his ladder, the girl jumped.

Luckily, Parr managed to catch her in his arms, holding her far enough off the ground to save her life. Less luckily, he found himself now stuck up a ladder, holding a violent teenage girl desperate to squirm out of his grasp and finish the job.

Bear in mind this was the middle of a very cold winter, and the two were all alone in the village. How long do you think Parr managed to hold her up for? Ten minutes? Twenty? It was a whole hour.

For an entire hour, Parr balanced on his ladder, holding a hysterical, suicidal girl aloft in the searing cold. Eventually someone realized this wasn't performance art and called the cops-but not before Parr had proven how far the world was ready to go to keep this one lonely girl alive.

9. The Kiss That Stopped A Suicide

One of the worst things about being young is the way passing things seem somehow permanent. So when an unnamed 16-year-old in China faced yet another example of fate raining all over his incredibly poor family, he decided to step out rather than suffer a life of torment and misery.

Climbing over the railing of a pedestrian bridge, he prepared to jump. At which point a passing waitress named Liu Wenxiu decided to get involved. Despite having never seen the kid before, despite knowing nothing of his problems, she followed him to the railing and did the only thing she could: She listened.

She listened as this random 16-year-old described the pit his life had fallen into, she listened as he listed the endless problems tearing his family life to bits, and then she simply showed him her wrists.

As they stood there, surrounded by cops and gawping pedestrians, Liu told him the story behind her own attempted suicide-quietly, firmly, and without any contrivances. When she was done, she leaned forward, hugged the boy, and gave him a kiss. And the boy suddenly decided that maybe life was worth living after all.

All Liu had done was something no one else had ever thought to do: She'd given the kid her full attention and really listened. And that little slice of kindness was all it took to save his life.

8. The Suicide Reunion

In March 2005, 22-year-old Kevin Berthia climbed over the railings of the Golden Gate Bridge and prepared to jump. What happened next became the stuff of legend.

For over an hour, Berthia wavered on the edge as Highway Patrol Officer Kevin Briggs tried to talk him down. As the rush hour traffic swirled past them, the two held a quiet, intense conversation that culminated in Berthia climbing back onto the bridge.

At this point, most suicide stories usually end: The guy is safe, the hero gets applauded, and everyone tries their best to forget about the whole damn thing. But this is no ordinary story. Berthia never forgot how Briggs helped him that cold Friday morning.

And in 2013, when the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention decided to honor Briggs for his tireless efforts, Berthia was damn sure no random asshole was going to be presenting the award. Almost eight years to the day after Briggs saved his life, Berthia not only got to thank him in public, he got to introduce him to his family -including the two young kids he would never have had if Briggs hadn't intervened.

7. Woman's Best Friend

Earlier this year, a 63-year-old Frenchwoman decided she'd had enough. Taking a rifle out into her yard in the southern town of Sorgues, she fired off a couple of test shots before turning the gun on herself. Then she pulled the trigger.

Incredibly, the bullet missed her heart. It was incredible not because she was a terrible shot, or because it was a simple fluke, but because her dog leaped on the gun at the exact second she fired, saving her life. Somehow, the animal sensed not only what she was about to do, but exactly how it could stop her from doing it.

According to reports, the dog then waited with the injured woman until her husband came home and called the paramedics, refusing to leave her side until they loaded her in the ambulance.

In short, it was exactly the sort of touching, tearful scene that could end a Lassie story. Only a zillion times better because it really happened.

6. Anonymous Saves A Suicidal Girl

Late last year, 15-year-old Kylie Kylem was feeling suicidal.

Because adolescence is a horrible, horrible time, she felt unable to talk to her friends or parents and instead took to Twitter in search of sympathy. Unfortunately, her bullies happened to be online as well, and what followed was an exchange so depressing it'll make you want to cry.

Instead of acting like human beings for once in their miserable lives, the bullies responded to Kylie's tweets by encouraging her to kill herself. If you've ever been around a depressed person, you know this isn't a good thing to do.

Kylie started tweeting about cutting herself and seemed on the verge of doing something awful when Anonymous and Rustle League, who apparently patrol Twitter looking out for this kind of thing, decided to step in.

What followed was a darkly gratifying exchange that saw Anonymous pull the bullies' contact details and threaten to identify them to the police, their parents, their principal, and anyone in authority. After a whole lot of groveling, the bullies were eventually let off with a warning-on the condition that they apologize to Kylie.

And apologize they did, promising to look after their victim from then on until the end of time. Best of all, the offer was conditional on Kylie directly messaging the Anon guys to tell them she was okay.

Rather than take the opportunity for cold, cold revenge, she did exactly that, rising above the level of her bullies and looking awesome in the process.

5. The Suicide That Reunited A Family

When Hanns Jones stepped off the Sunshine Skyway Bridge in mid-2001, he had every reason for wanting to throw in the crappy hand life had dealt him. Recently kicked out by his girlfriend, his career was going nowhere and a decades-long search for his father had resulted in precisely nothing.

But on his way down, Jones had a realization. If he checked out now, his own son would suffer precisely the same Dad-shaped hole in his life as he had. So instead of giving up when he hit the water, he swam to safety.
This was despite suffering a collapsed lung, broken neck, shattered ribs, and burst spleen-all so he might see his kid again.
But that isn't even the amazing bit. That came two weeks later, when Lynn-Marie Carty read about Jones's suicide attempt online. Specifically, she read the bit about his missing father. And it just so happened that Lynn-Marie Carty was freaking amazing at finding missing people.

Within six days of reading Jones's story, she had tracked down his absent father and put the two in contact. After literally decades of searching, Jones had finally found his missing dad-all because someone cared enough about a stranger's misery to sacrifice a week of her life helping him.

4. The Angel Of The Gap

For 50 years, Don Ritchie was the guy with the most unusual hobby in Australia. When other men were learning to barbeque or boomerang or whatever it is Australians do all day, Ritchie sat at home, quietly looking out the window.

That might not sound so unusual, but Ritchie had a very specific purpose in mind. He and his wife lived at the top of a Sydney suicide hotspot. And Ritchie had made it his mission to stop as many jumpers as possible.

From 1964 to 2012, he watched over this stretch of cliff face, wandering down to anyone who looked upset and simply asking: "Can I help you in some way?"

Amazingly, this low-key approach seemed to work. When he died last year, Ritchie was credited with saving a minimum of 164 lives -an accolade usually reserved for war veterans and Superman. Again, that's a minimum, some people estimate the number is much, much higher.

Either way, Ritchie's combination of insane determination and calm patience saved hundreds of families from losing someone they loved.

3. Lifelong Friends

If there's anything as ridiculously touching as the story of John Unger and his dog Schoep, we've yet to hear it.

About 19 years ago, Unger and his then-fiance adopted Schoep as a rescue dog. Good job they did, because when the pair broke up, it sent Unger to a very dark place.

According to his story, he was on the verge of suicide one night when Schoep managed to drag him back from the brink. Exactly how, he doesn't say, but what's important is that he felt he owed the dog his life. And nine years later, he returned the favor.

In 2012, Schoep got sick. With crippling arthritis spreading through his body, it began to look like it was only a matter of time before he had to be put down. Unger did everything he could for his friend, spending his paltry wage on painkillers and even carrying the dog into Lake Superior each evening, where the lapping water would ease his pain long enough for Schoep to get some sleep.

Then one day, he asked a photographer friend to take some pictures of what he thought were Schoep's last moments. With a heavy heart, he posted them online-and watched the whole Internet explode. People across the world were so ridiculously touched by the story of the lifesaving dog that they flooded local veterinarian clinics with donations to be spent helping Schoep.

The dog got treatment for his illness and the pair managed to snatch a few more months of life together, giving death the finger for the second time.

2. Thousands Write To Save A Suicidal Boy

It's a grim fact of life that some people who kill themselves do it at a depressingly young age. Earlier this year, it looked like Noah Brocklebank was going to be one of those people.

At the age of 12 he was being bullied at school and had started cutting his arms. Then one day he posted a picture of his slashed-up wrist on Instagram with this message: "Day of scheduled suicide, February 8th, 2013, my birthday."

At this stage, the authorities intervened and took Noah into hospital. Looking for a way to convince her son that life was still worth living, his mother set up a Facebook page for friends and family, encouraging them to write to Noah. Then she left her home address and set the page to public.

As anyone who knows the internet will tell you, this is like asking a bully to punch you. By rights, Noah should have been deluged with messages from scumbags.
But instead, an amazing thing happened.
The Internet took one look at this depressed and angry boy and decided, "not today." Over the course of a week, literally thousands of people turned off their computers, sat down, and wrote a letter to this kid they'd never met.

By the time of Noah's scheduled suicide day, he'd received 7,000 letters basically telling him he was awesome. So yeah, turns out that sometimes even the Internet can get it together to do the right thing.

1. The Silent Heroes

All of these stories have been about specific people, or groups of people, who did the right thing when faced with the worst circumstances. This one won't be.

Instead, it's about anonymous, regular people-the ordinary faceless friends and strangers who make life worth living.

A while back, I came across this thread on Reddit. What started as someone idly wondering what suicides do on their last day quickly became a collection of some of the most heart-breaking tales you will ever read. Hundreds of near-suicides posted their stories of abuse, misery, and a brush with death. Some of them are heavy reading, but they all have one thing in common-the people.

Friends who saw the poster was feeling lost and offered them their time, family members who helped them through the dark days of depression, strangers who stood next to them on an empty bridge and offered to take them home. Stories of parents, sons, sisters, mothers who came so close but realized at the last moment there was someone out there who still loved them.

And I guess that's what I'm trying to say with this whole article: There are always people who will miss you when you go, no matter how hopeless things might feel. There are always people willing to help, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

And reading the stories of all those anonymous posters is perhaps the most touching way of finding that out.

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10 Suicide Stories With An Incredible Happy Ending | The Friendship Bench

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NOTE: This is a blog post that originally appeared on Listverse. Note that in nearly every case, there was a complete stranger ready to help, whether it was in-person, online, or using social media. This is in keeping with the spirit of The Friendship Bench: often helping people can start with a simple "hello".

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Stories of hope | Shining a Light on Suicide

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Thank you to those who have shared their personal story of overcoming thoughts of suicide or their experience of a losing loved one to suicide. By telling these stories, we want to encourage others to talk about suicide, remain hopeful during difficult times and save lives.

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An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

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Each year, millions of people around the world attempt to take their own lives- millions. And we almost never talk about it. On this podcast, I talk with suicide attempt survivors, so we can hear their stories- in their words.

We release new episodes every Monday and Thursday. If you like the podcast, please consider leaving a rating, review and subscribing.

If you (or someone you know) would like to share your story on the podcast: hello@suicidenoted.com

SOCIAL MEDIA @suicidenoted

PATREON
https://www.patreon.com/suicidenoted

DONATIONS
https://app.redcircle.com/shows/f890656c-0a5f-45de-89e4-df6d153bcfbc/donations

Each year, millions of people around the world attempt to take their own lives- millions. And we almost never talk about it. On this podcast, I talk with suicide attempt survivors, so we can hear their stories- in their words.

We release new episodes every Monday and Thursday. If you like the podcast, please consider leaving a rating, review and subscribing.

If you (or someone you know) would like to share your story on the podcast: hello@suicidenoted.com

SOCIAL MEDIA @suicidenoted

PATREON
https://www.patreon.com/suicidenoted

DONATIONS
https://app.redcircle.com/shows/f890656c-0a5f-45de-89e4-df6d153bcfbc/donations

Be Careful

Some episodes may be triggering. Don't expect to find "answers" to your pain here. More insight than anything.

Great show

Thanks for doing this show. It's a great topic.

Podcast is awesome

I enjoy listening to your podcast. I'm so thankful you're giving survivors a voice. Keep up the great work

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‎Each year, millions of people around the world attempt to take their own lives- millions. And we almost never talk about it. On this podcast, I talk with suicide attempt survivors, so we can hear their stories- in their words. We release new episodes every Monday and Thursday.

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Here we will create a safe community to fight the stigma surrounding suicide. I will interview specialists, survivors, and individuals who have a story to tell. We will cover a variety of themes: grief, warning signs, risk factors, contagion, youth, and most importantly, what can be done to prevent suicide.

To contact me, send a message to pfontenelletherapist@gmail.com
Visit my page: www.understandsuicide.com
Facebook Page: https://bit.ly/2MMLBWO

Here we will create a safe community to fight the stigma surrounding suicide. I will interview specialists, survivors, and individuals who have a story to tell. We will cover a variety of themes: grief, warning signs, risk factors, contagion, youth, and most importantly, what can be done to prevent suicide.

To contact me, send a message to pfontenelletherapist@gmail.com
Visit my page: www.understandsuicide.com
Facebook Page: https://bit.ly/2MMLBWO

Excellent mental health content

If you've been struggling with suicidal thoughts or know someone who has, this podcast is a must listen. Understand the underlying dynamics of suicide, how to deal with it or help a loved one. On top of covid, I've dealing with the grief of loosing someone and finding this has helped me tremendously. The interviews are fantastic as well. Thanks for putting such great resources out in the world.

Deep and emotional, but also informative and positive

This podcast does a great job of sharing a variety of stories, bringing in interviews with experts, and educating those who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts as well as people who know others that are struggling how to find help. As someone who wants to be better at helping those around myself who may be struggling with ideations, I wanted to find a podcast that would teach me about how to best go about it, and I have definitely learned a lot. Even just simple things like adjusting language and word choice around the subject and remembering to focusing on listening over anything else have been valuable pieces of advice.

So deep and helpful

This podcast is a rare find. This theme is so stigmatized that people like me, who needs information, has a hard time finding balanced, compassionate, and knowledgeable conversations regarding suicide. Congratulations, Paula! You give us an example of how to turn pain into an opportunity to help others.

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‎Here we will create a safe community to fight the stigma surrounding suicide. I will interview specialists, survivors, and individuals who have a story to tell. We will cover a variety of themes: grief, warning signs, risk factors, contagion, youth, and most importantly, what can be done to prevent...

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The UNNI Podcast is a platform for survivors and experts in the space of suicide prevention, to share lived experiences with a purpose to lead those in crisis, out of the darkness. The UNNI Podcast is hosted by Bianca D. McCall, a world-renowned Subject Matter Expert in the Epidemiology of Suicidal Behavior. UNNI stands for unity on a global scale; connectivity, compassion, deconstructing stigmatic language; to change the way we define, and defend against suicide in all communities. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bianca-d-mccall/support

The UNNI Podcast is a platform for survivors and experts in the space of suicide prevention, to share lived experiences with a purpose to lead those in crisis, out of the darkness. The UNNI Podcast is hosted by Bianca D. McCall, a world-renowned Subject Matter Expert in the Epidemiology of Suicidal Behavior. UNNI stands for unity on a global scale; connectivity, compassion, deconstructing stigmatic language; to change the way we define, and defend against suicide in all communities. Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bianca-d-mccall/support

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‎The UNNI Podcast is a platform for survivors and experts in the space of suicide prevention, to share lived experiences with a purpose to lead those in crisis, out of the darkness. The UNNI Podcast is hosted by Bianca D. McCall, a world-renowned Subject Matter Expert in the Epidemiology of Suicidal...

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Fireflies Unite Podcast With Kea is a weekly podcast from the perspective of individuals thriving with a mental illness created by suicide survivor T-Kea Blackman. The mission of the podcast is to bring light into darkness (just like the fireflies), encourage people of color to seek treatment and end the stigma and raise awareness. We want to show that mental illness does not have "a look"; it includes everyday high-functioning people. The podcast is also designed for people to see how everyday decisions impact their mental health and overall wellness such as finances, relationships, and nutrition. Podcast episodes are available every Monday. Join the conversation and get social! Facebook Closed Group-Fireflies Unite: Healthy MindsFacebook Fan Page: @firefliespodTwitter: @firefliespodInstagram: @firefliespod

Fireflies Unite Podcast With Kea is a weekly podcast from the perspective of individuals thriving with a mental illness created by suicide survivor T-Kea Blackman. The mission of the podcast is to bring light into darkness (just like the fireflies), encourage people of color to seek treatment and end the stigma and raise awareness. We want to show that mental illness does not have "a look"; it includes everyday high-functioning people. The podcast is also designed for people to see how everyday decisions impact their mental health and overall wellness such as finances, relationships, and nutrition. Podcast episodes are available every Monday. Join the conversation and get social! Facebook Closed Group-Fireflies Unite: Healthy MindsFacebook Fan Page: @firefliespodTwitter: @firefliespodInstagram: @firefliespod

Raw, Real, Relatable

I remember meeting you maybe 4 years ago now. When I met you, you began to tell me your story, at the time, I didn't realize the importance of mental health, nor did I know what mental health was. I also didn't believe just anyone could fall victim to a mental illness/episode, etc. God redirected me to your podcast at the beginning of this week. Your story is compelling! Listeners are given that tunnel of hope by relating to you and your story. I love that you have real, raw conversations about your life-experiences. I hope you are able to keep the podcast going on a biweekly basis!

Transparency at its finest!

I don't recall how I came across this podcast but I'm so glad I did. It is an awesome mental health resource for survivors as well as caregivers. The transparency that is shown from Kea and her guests is very needed and appreciated. Thank you, Kea for being open and continuing to spread mental health awareness.

It's Like Having Company From a Non-Judgmental Friend

I can't remember how I ran into T-Kea's podcast, but I know that it stemmed from Twitter. Her support, encouragement and praise for individuals pushing and getting through and to the otherside of darkness has been so pure on social media. We've even messaged back and forth when I questioned going back to medication. The dark place got darker just before my 27th birthday... I saught the highest level of support and that was hospitalization. Imagine feeling so low that you can't tolerate listening to music. On my commute to my program after being discharged from the hospital, I would listen to her. It felt as if she was in the car with me. My loneliness was so strong that I didn't want to be around others, but T-Kea really got me through and her amazing guests.

Send this pod to a friend, they might need it or they can even help someone else in need with the information and resources.

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‎Fireflies Unite With Kea on Apple Podcasts

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‎Fireflies Unite Podcast With Kea is a weekly podcast from the perspective of individuals thriving with a mental illness created by suicide survivor T-Kea Blackman. The mission of the podcast is to bring light into darkness (just like the fireflies), encourage people of color to seek treatment and en...

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‎Surviving Trauma: Stories of Hope on Apple Podcasts

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Toolkits for Survivors of suicide loss & Suicide Prevention

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Mental Health America of Northeast Indiana

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For the past two years, STOP Suicide Northeast Indiana and Mental Health America of Northeast Indiana have been developing two resource guides, or toolkits, intended to help individuals and families who have been affected by suicide. After a suicide attempt or loss, families are often left with little information about resources available to them after such a life-changing experience.

Our hope is that these toolkits will be able to help individuals and families following a suicide attempt or loss. The Finding Hope toolkit provides information on suicide prevention and coping after a suicide attempt. The toolkit provides supportive information to loved ones following a suicide loss. The resource toolkits are being given at no cost, courtesy of our sponsors.

You can access the PDFs below, or visit the Contact Us page to request hard copies.
Finding Hope: A Toolkit for Suicide Prevention Help & Hope: For Survivors of Suicide Loss

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STOP Suicide Toolkits Now Available For the past two years, STOP Suicide Northeast Indiana and Mental Health America of Northeast Indiana have been developing two resource guides, or toolkits, intended to help individuals and families who have been affected by suicide.

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Americans attempt suicide 1.1 million times a year (CDC, 2012). Every 12.3 min another person dies by suicide (CDC, 2015). Sadly, 90% of those individuals had a diagnosable disorder at the time of death (Lethbridge-Çejku, Rose, & Vickerie, 2006).

Muslims are not immune. Our friends, family, mentors, and leaders struggle silently with suicidal thoughts every day. They are in need of love and support. The stigma around mental health and suicide has prevented much-needed research on the prevalence of suicide within the Muslim community.

The Family and Youth Institute Suicide Prevention Community Action Guide is designed to:
Increase community awareness and education Help identify ways to integrate prevention efforts into your community Highlight relevant resources for those in need
As a steward of your community, you are the first responder. You should know that what you do or say is critical. Many community organizers do not know how to sensitively support someone struggling with suicidal thoughts, a suicide attempt survivor, or the family or community affected by death from suicide.

While you may not be trained as a mental health professional, this guide is meant to equip you with the knowledge and tools to better prevent, intervene, and address suicide in your community and help save lives.

Prevention is better than cure. As Allah reminds us,
"Whoever saves one life, it is written as if he has saved all humanity." [5:32].
Click here or on the image to the left to access this comprehensive and downloadable guide.

Learn More about the Family & Youth Institute's Suicide Prevention Resources

Suicide Prevention Infographic Suicide Intervention Infographic Suicide Prevention Toolkit Suicide Prevention Community Action Guide

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The Suicide Prevention Community Action Guide

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Americans attempt suicide 1.1 million times a year (CDC, 2012). Every 12.3 min another person dies by suicide (CDC, 2015). Sadly, 90% of those individuals had a diagnosable disorder at the time of death (Lethbridge-Çejku, Rose, & Vickerie, 2006). Muslims are not immune. Our friends, family, mentors, and leaders struggle silently with suicidal thoughts every day.

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This resource guides people through the first steps toward recovery and a hopeful future after a suicide attempt. It includes personal stories from survivors, and strategies for recovery, such as re-establishing connections and finding a counselor.

Order Print Publication

Orders exceeding the maximum quantity limit require authorization.

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TESTIMONIALS

"The author has a crystal clear vision of mental health and the continuums of illness. Saving Ourselves from Suicide is both a personal journey and warning to families. The author is clearly on a mission to save others from the tragedy that befell her family. It is invaluable." - Christine Z. Somervill, PhD, Director of Programs, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), Cook County North Suburban, Chicagoland

" Saving Ourselves from Suicide is a touching account of one family's survival after losing their son and brother to suicide. While this is a loss that none of us would wish on anyone, Saving Ourselves from Suicide gives us a meaningful glimpse into the powerful loss and the many things we can do to support each other and our loved ones through struggle." - Alison Malmon, Founder/Executive Director, Active Minds

"Linda gives details about the ways she and her family grieved differently and outlines the methods that they used to cope with Nick's traumatic death. The common thread throughout the book is Linda's call for all to be kinder and more compassionate to one another, to search for understanding, and to be aware of how our actions impact others." - Rev. Charles T. Rubey, Founder/Director, Loving Outreach to Survivors of Suicide (LOSS) nondenominational program, a division of Catholic Charities

"This book is important on so many levels. It describes the emotional journey of living through the events leading up to suicide and walks through the painful steps of the initial shock and long grieving process. It is a valuable resource to make it through grief and loss. This is a visceral but important read." - Steve Arkin, MD, Attending Neurologist, Miami Valley Hospital, Assistant Professor, Wright State University, Dayton, Ohio, Cofounder, SpeakUp

"A significant contribution to the critical dialogue that we all need to be engaged in regarding how to reduce the stigma of mental health in our society. It is a call to action to turn the tide of despair that is now so prevalent in our culture today." - Rev. Dr. Scott Mitchell, MTh, PsyD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, President and CEO, SamaraCare

"The author's voice in Saving Ourselves from Suicide brings awareness to a new level through her brave and honest account of the death of her beautiful son by suicide and the impact this had on her family and the community." - Fran Zucco, BSN, RN-BC, Clinical Leader, Linden Oaks Behavioral Health

"Insights, information, and resources to help others decide to stay or to assist the healing of those who have experienced the tragic loss of a loved one. Her sharing may be the best informed friendly advice you could receive. It comes from a deep, painful experience and with the authenticity of a mother's broken heart." - The Rev. Dr. Steven R. Rottgers, Canon to the Ordinary, Episcopal Diocese of West Missouri, Author of I AM Yours

"Not only is this book a must-read for anyone suffering a loss of suicide, it is also a guide offering support for those living with a loved one who suffers from mental illness. Rather than hiding behind the stigma of suicide and weighing the reader down with unnecessary stats and references, Linda's heartfelt storytelling opens the door for us survivors to move through our pain and start healing." - Monica Pedersen, Former HGTV Host, Author

Linda Pacha lost her teen son to suicide in 2013. She is the founder/president of Nick's Network of Hope, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides resources, education, and support about life challenges with an emphasis on mental health awareness, suicide prevention, and grief and loss (nicksnetworkofhope.org). She wrote Saving Ourselves from Suicide--Before and After: How to Ask for Help, Recognize Warning Signs, and Navigate Grief to help many and hopefully even save lives.

Linda is a public speaker for suicide prevention and awareness, as well as grief and loss. She obtained her law degree from Loyola University Chicago School of Law and practiced law prior to raising her family. Linda also received her BS degree in psychology from Loyola and completed one year of postgraduate studies in clinical psychology. She lives with her family in Naperville, IL.
Follow Nick's Network of Hope (nicksnetworkofhope.org). Nick's Network of Hope is also on Facebook, and Linda Pacha is on LinkedIn.

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saving ourselves from suicide - before and after: how to ask for help

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Saving Ourselves from Suicide - Before and After: How to Ask for Help, Recognize Warning Signs, and Navigate Grief

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Saving Ourselves from Suicide - Before and After: How to Ask for Help, Recognize Warning Signs, and Navigate Grief - Kindle edition by Pacha, Linda. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets.

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healing after the suicide of a loved one

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suicide prevention; nationbal suicide prevention day; no time to day goodbye; my son...my son; it's ok that you're not ok; taking the dimness of my soul away; growing through grief; grief day by day; it rains; national suicide prevention hotline; the lifeline; logic suicide; logic suicide song; logic lifeline; grieving a suicide; icecream and suicide; i wasn't ready to say goodbye: surviving; coping and healing after the sudden death of a loved one; healing grief; finding peace

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Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One

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Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One [Ann Smolin, John Guinan] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Healing After the Suicide of a Loved One

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Survivors of Suicide [Robinson, Rita] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Survivors of Suicide

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touched by suicide: hope and healing after loss

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Touched by Suicide: Hope and Healing After Loss [Myers, Michael F., Fine, Carla] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Touched by Suicide: Hope and Healing After Loss

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No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving The Suicide Of A Loved One

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No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving The Suicide Of A Loved One [Fine, Carla] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving The Suicide Of A Loved One

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October, 8 1982. Mom wrote in her diary that she slept until noon that day and woke up feeling refreshed, filled with a renewed sense of hope. She had an appointment with her psychologist that afternoon, so she grabbed her toilet kit and headed for the common bathroom in the hotel where she'd taken up residency after life on the streets.

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Gregg Loomis, an insurance salesman from New York, becomes emotional while listening to a speaker at a June rally for suicide prevention in the District. (Evelyn Hockstein/For The Washington Post)

For many years, Gregg Loomis hid the attempts from others. He worried about the effect on his insurance business. He had seen people's view of him change once they found out. He had lost friends that way.

So two days before his trip to Capitol Hill, Loomis sat in his office in a New York City suburb, agonizing over what he might say. How do you explain to total strangers the most painful, private moments of your life - the moments you tried to end it.

A suicide prevention group had sent notes to him and other volunteers to prepare for the trip. He wouldn't be talking with actual lawmakers, but with their legislative aides instead. He'd have 10 minutes, 15 at most, to tell his story and plead for funding and legislation.

"That's not a lot of time," a worried Loomis, 61, said as he went over the notes.

Until recently, the suicide prevention movement has been largely driven by family and friends of those who died. But in recent years - as suicide rates have climbed to historic levels - survivors of suicide attempts have been "coming out," determined to combat the problem even if it means speaking out about their own, often-hidden pasts.

Their emergence in unprecedented numbers in the past five years has transformed the suicide prevention world. Clinicians who once hid their own attempts for fear of having their objectivity and work questioned have started revealing their history to peers. Researchers trying to understand suicide, who previously focused on post-mortem data and environmental factors, are starting to embrace the relatively new idea of reaching out to people who experienced it directly. And advocates are harnessing those voices to raise awareness of suicide as a public health issue and win sorely needed funding and attention.

The new momentum comes at a time when suicides in America have hit their highest levels since World War II.

Since 1999, suicide rates have climbed 33 percent. Roughly 130 Americans now die by suicide each day, making it the country's 10th leading cause of death. And yet, government funding for research and prevention has lagged far behind all other leading causes of deaths. Funding for it is regularly dwarfed by ailments with only a fraction of the death toll regularly - despite the profound trauma and costs of suicide, including more than $50 billion lost in work productivity each year.

"We are where cancer was in the 1960s, or AIDS was in the 1970s, or Alzheimer's 10 years ago. We haven't pierced the national consciousness," said John Madigan, head of public policy at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. "We haven't put a face on the problem."

As an exercise, the suicide nonprofit group had asked volunteers to boil their stories down to 150 words - an elevator pitch to advocate for crisis call centers, medical research and expanded access to mental-health care.

As he packed for Washington, Loomis thought about the darkness he felt the first time he had tried to kill himself, while in college - the all-consuming pain and his desperation to escape it. He thought about his last attempt, in 2008, when the hospital forced him to leave after five days, while he was still mentally fragile, because that's all his insurance would pay for.

He thought about the first time he talked about any of it publicly at a suicide awareness event four years ago, and how he had teared up and had to pause to gather himself.

"It's not like this is some badge of honor you want to wear in public," he said. "It's not something I'm proud of. But if there's something I can do to help . . . ."

Survivors' 'lived experience'

The field of suicide research and prevention is only four to five decades old. For most of that span, those who survived suicides were considered too ill or too disturbed to contribute.

"Survivors were seen as people to be studied, rather than partnered with," said Ursula Whiteside, a researcher with the University of Washington. "It was an 'us and them' approach. The 'us' were people helping and the 'them' were people who needed help."

Implied was the concern anything could send such people over the edge. Until recently, for example, clinical drug trials for mental illnesses routinely removed all patients with any suicidal thoughts. As a result, researchers note, little is known today about what medicines might reduce suicidal thoughts and impulses.

"Even among suicide researchers, when someone comes out, there's a fear people will start questioning their competency and work," said DeQuincy Lezine, a researcher who is open about his suicidal past. "You hear questions about whether they should be answering calls on prevention lines, or working as clinicians."

That began to change in 2011, when Marsha M. Linehan - a towering figure in the field who developed a treatment called dialectical behavior therapy that can be effective on illnesses such as borderline personality disorder - revealed publicly that she struggled with suicide throughout her life.

Others soon followed suit.

"Once you see someone telling their story, it's less hard to tell your own," Whiteside said. In 2017, more than 47,000 Americans died by suicide, but the number who attempted it was almost 30 times that - meaning 1.4 million survived such incidents, according to federal statistics.

Suicide experts now use the term "lived experience" to describe what such survivors offer their field. Their insights have led to new lines of research and pilot programs deploying survivors to counsel other patients at risk.

The National Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention launched a task force made up of attempt survivors. The American Association of Suicidology created a special division and a seat on its board of directors for attempt survivors.

A day before their appointments on the Hill last month, 250 volunteers gathered in a hotel basement for a crash course on lobbying.

Most in the room had suffered loss of some kind - a sibling, spouse, child had died by suicide. But about a fifth of them - more than in any year past - were attempt survivors.

The group in charge - the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - had lined up meetings with congressional offices from each volunteer's home state.

The volunteers got a yellow packet crammed with stats: How suicides have risen especially sharply among teens and young adults and is now their second leading cause of death. How 90 percent of people who die by suicide have a diagnosable mental condition, suggesting treatment could have saved their lives. How researchers have barely scratched the surface in understanding what's happening in the brains and bodies of people who kill themselves and why suicide is increasing at such an alarming rate.

But more important than any statistic, organizers told the volunteers, was making the message personal.

You are fighting not just for money, but attention in a crowded arena, said former congressman Patrick J. Kennedy (D-R.I.), in a final pep talk to volunteers. Use your stories to break the cycle of shame, he urged them. Use your stories to reveal suicide for what it is: a national crisis.

Listening from a table in the back, Sumer Anelli said she had been bracing for weeks for the conversations ahead.

"It can be emotionally draining," the 38-year-old from Nashville said. Last year, she started crying in the hotel lobby before she visited a single congressional office. It had taken eight years - since the day she swallowed every pill in her medicine cabinet - before she could share that experience.

"I finally got to a place where I was okay with others judging and talking about me," she said. "I got over it because I know others need help."

Even now, Anelli said she is deliberate about how and with whom she shares her past.

It comes up when someone asks about the tattoo on her forearm - the flatlining beat of a heart-rate monitor, interrupted by a semicolon. The semicolon, she said, represents the moment when she as the author of her life could have ended the sentence, but did not.

Coming with Anelli from Nashville was Shannon Geames, 50. Geames has incorporated her experience into her job with the Tennessee Highway Patrol. After convincing her bosses that suicide prevention training should be mandatory, Geames helped teach classes for the state's 848 troopers and cadets.

Sometimes after mentioning her own attempt, Geames said, those who lost someone close come up afterward with urgent questions. Mostly, they want to understand why.

"You're not thinking about your kids or parents or job," she said she often tells them. "All you're thinking about is the unbearable amount of pain. It's like being in a burning building and feeling like you either have to jump out, or burn to death."

Hoping to make a difference

The next morning, as Anelli and Geames scurried between offices, they took turns making their pitches.

At Anelli's first meeting, the legislative staff member clicked his pen and nodded impatiently. Every few minutes, his eyes flicked to the clock above. Anelli rushed through her talking points, but as soon as her 10 minutes were up, the staff member gave a curt thanks and showed her out.

"You can't take it personally," Anelli said afterward. "As a society, we hate talking about death, much less this kind of death."

Loomis - the Port Chester, N.Y., insurance salesman - was having slightly better luck. After refining his story all weekend, he reduced it to a single short sentence, introducing himself as "an attempt survivor and someone living with bipolar illness."

He explained his careful word choice in a meeting with a staff member for Rep. Nita M. Lowey (D-N.Y.).

"I don't say, 'I'm bipolar.' I say, 'I have an illness,' because that's what it is, like cancer or any other illness," Loomis told the staff member. "The stigma around suicide is huge. We say someone 'committed suicide' because it used to be considered a crime and sin. Churches wouldn't even let people who did it be buried in their cemeteries."

The idea seemed to resonate with the aide, who jotted notes as Loomis explained the need to enforce laws requiring insurers to provide people with mental ailments the same resources they give to those with conditions like heart disease.

By the end of the day, Loomis had visited five offices. Anelli and Geames had split up to cover all nine of Tennessee's congressional offices and its two Senate offices.

As Anelli walked along the Mall - exhausted and fighting a cold - she wondered aloud whether they had made a difference.

"There are times in this fight when it can feel pretty lonely," she said softly. "But if we changed anyone's minds or saved even one life today, it's worth it."

If you or someone you know needs help, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255). You can also text a crisis counselor by messaging the Crisis Text Line at 741741.

Suicide attempts using poison have surged among young people, particularly girls

Suicides are at an all time high. We need hope more than ever.

At 10, I wrote a suicide note. Today, I have an urgent message for that troubled little girl - and others like her.

Today's Headlines The most important news stories of the day, curated by Post editors and delivered every morning.

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Once they hid their stories. But now, survivors of suicide are 'coming out' to combat a national crisis.

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For many years, Gregg Loomis hid the attempts from others. He worried about the effect on his insurance business. He had seen people's view of him change once they found out. He had lost friends that way. So two days before his trip to Capitol Hill, Loomis sat in his office in a New York City suburb, agonizing over what he might say.

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Opening The Door To Discussing Suicide: One Survivor Tells Her Story | NBC News

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‘I’m Glad I Exist’: Stories of Suicide Survivors | The Quint

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What Is It Like To Survive A Suicide Attempt? People Share Their Stories | TODAY

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Survivors tell us what went through their minds in what they expected to be their final moments - and what it's like to return to a life they tried to end.

Every year, more than 45,000 people die by suicide in America. If that number sounds striking, consider this: For every suicide death, there are 25 suicide attempts.

As the 10th leading cause of death in this country, suicide is an increasing health concern and a growing issue among young people in particular. Recent research shows that more kids, especially girls, are thinking about suicide.

For many survivors, their attempts aren't isolated incidents. TODAY spoke to people who detailed multiple occasions of trying to end their lives, and in some cases, entire lifetimes spent battling suicidal thoughts, and always feeling as if they're on the brink of a fatal decision, one that feels largely out of their control.

While suicide attempt survivors are at a greater risk of suicide than the rest of the population, research shows that most do, in fact, survive.

These are some of their stories.

The moments before a suicide

What kind of mindset does someone have to be in to reach the point of suicide? After all, many people think about suicide without ever making an attempt.

While it doesn't answer what drives someone to that ultimate decision, there is a concept called cognitive constriction that explains what happens in the brain during a suicidal crisis.

"The actual physiological functioning of certain parts of the brain changes in this acute suicidal moment," said Dr. Christine Moutier, chief medical officer of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. "What's happening in the brain is there's a narrowing of coping options that stems from changes in the brain's ability to come up with three or four ideas to problem-solve, like it usually would."

The actual functioning of the brain changes in this acute suicidal moment. - Dr. Christine Moutier

"It's really hard to fight with your own brain," Moutier said. "It's not letting you access your other ways of thinking."

Cognitive constriction is often described as a feeling of tunnel vision, as if you're seeing through a straw, or wearing blinders. People in this state can't see beyond their circumstances, and don't believe their pain will ever end. That's why we hear suicide attempt survivors say phrases like, "I thought it was the only way out." This also helps dispel the myth that people who die by suicide are weak or selfish; in that state, those traits are irrelevant.

"I've heard it described as a mental toothache," said Dr. Stacey Freedenthal, a psychotherapist in Denver who wrote about her own suicide attempt in The New York Times. "If you have a toothache, all you can think about is the pain in your tooth. And combine that with the conviction that this pain will never end."

This mental distortion isn't permanent, but people can't see that in the moment. That's part of the reason suicidal people are counseled to come up with safety plans to turn to in a time of crisis, which often consist of a list of people to contact and activities that will calm them down and provide distraction.

Some suicidal gun owners are urged to store their guns outside of the home, or, according to one news story, even freeze their bullets in ice cube trays, with the thinking that by the time the person obtains the means to die, the urge will have passed. And oftentimes, people experiencing cognitive constriction can't think creatively enough to find an alternate method, Moutier said.

That's not to say that no suicides are premeditated. Certainly, many are. And while there are countless factors that can contribute to one's wish to take his or her own life, the ultimate decision is often an impulsive one. Kevin Hines, who survived a leap from the Golden Gate Bridge, has famously said that in the moments after he jumped, he regretted his suicide attempt.

The message is simple: If you can stand to wait, the moment may pass.

"It's a short period when for a few minutes, maybe up to an hour, that cognitive constriction occurs," Moutier said. "And that transient nature of the physical change is why if people can live through it, they can regain their usual healthy coping functions and survive long beyond that moment."

Why most suicide attempt survivors are women

Men are far more likely to die by suicide than women, but more women than men attempt suicide. And most suicide attempt survivors are women. While the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention tracks suicide deaths, but not suicide attempts (it does gather data from hospitals on nonfatal self-harm injuries, but not all of those are necessarily suicide attempts), experts estimate that women attempt suicide somewhere between two and four times more often than men.

There are many factors that contribute to the fatality difference, but one is guns. "Definitely men use firearms more than women, and women use pills more often, and the fatality rate for the two is very different," Freedenthal said.

Firearms accounted for 51% of all suicides in 2017. That doesn't mean that half of people are reaching for guns when they attempt suicide - but the margin of error is certainly much smaller when they do. While experts are hesitant to discuss suicide methods by fatality rates, out of fear of encouraging someone to choose one over another, it's safe to say that the odds of someone intentionally overdosing on medication are significantly smaller.

Freedenthal has heard about another potential reason for the fatality differences between the sexes, which is based on the idea that women are more likely than men to ask for help when they're struggling with suicidal feelings.

"The theory is that, as a result, men are more likely to choose a method with a high fatality rate because it may be more abhorrent for them to consider they might survive, and then others would know, and they would need to ask for help," she added.

But the factors aren't all sociocultural - we can blame biology in part, too. Mood disorders, which include depression and anxiety, and are a great risk factor for suicide, are far more common in women than men. So are eating disorders.

"So there is a setup, already, that tilts more in the direction of girls and women," Moutier said.

A difficult conversation

It's not easy to talk about suicide deaths, but there is at least a recognizable pattern: initial shock followed by a search for missed warning signs and a general delving into someone's past, followed by a well-meaning but short-lived dispersal of prevention and awareness messages.

But many suicide attempt survivors feel like they're in an odd place, languishing in some sort of liminal state: They're not merely pondering suicide. They've crossed the line and made serious attempts to end their lives. Yet they're alive - and dealing with the aftermath.

"We scare the bejesus out of people," said Jacqueline Elder, a retired therapist and suicide attempt survivor in Chicago who runs a Facebook support group for fellow survivors. "What most clinicians are trained to do is, you just stick the client in the inpatient psych unit as soon as you can. For those of us who suffer from suicidality, we have this huge fear of being incarcerated in inpatient units."

Others figure they're beyond treatment.

Every year more than 45,000 Americans die by suicide. Experts estimate that for every suicide, there are at least 25 suicide attempts.

"When a therapist hears that I've shot myself and taken 900 pills ... a lot of therapists don't want to work with someone who's had those types of events," Richard Cole said.

While loved ones can play an important role in someone's recovery after a suicide attempt - experts say just talking and being available is hugely helpful - families may also be at a loss, unsure of what to say or how to behave. And many survivors describe feeling like a burden, not wanting to ask for help, creating a harmful cycle and making connections even harder to foster. Take Shih, who describes her eating issues and depression as "chronic."

"If I ask for help once, then that just puts a long-term burden on them, too," she said. "And I don't think that's fair."

Cole said his family experienced "compassion fatigue" after years of hearing him talk about suicide, and helping him recover from his self-inflicted gunshot wound.

"They've dealt with me my whole life," he said. "I've been the black sheep for 40-something years. I know that my parents love me, but there's only so much you can do."

In addition to medication, many suicidal people benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness techniques. They learn to recognize dangerous behaviors or negative thinking in the moment.

Elder used to keep an orange in her freezer because she loves the smell of citrus and the cold would fire up her senses, serving as a distraction, if only temporary, from her depression and suicidal urges. (Frozen oranges are a common grounding technique for people who have anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder.)

Elder recalls seeing women walk around with oranges when she was recovering from her depression and suicide attempts at Timberline Knolls Residential Treatment Center in Lemont, Illinois, and continued to rely on the technique when she returned home.

"My son liked the idea so much that we kept an orange in the freezer, and when I began to get upset, he would get the orange and place it in my hands," she said.

Others use the rubber band method - snapping a rubber band on one's wrist to provoke a pain response - or they go for a walk in the woods, listen to music or splash water on their face.

"There's something physical about the experience that helps the brain in those moments," Moutier said.

For Cole, who believes he will still one day die by suicide, he's learned to manage his suicidal tendencies in his own way. Sleep, for example, seems to help, as does having a pet, his dog, Duke. He's also learned to question his intentions for wanting to die.

"I know for myself that sometimes when I'm feeling suicidal, it's in response to me wanting to be manipulative," he said. "My wife has hurt me by asking for a divorce, so I'm going to hurt her and kill myself. And I ask myself, is this what I want for myself? And that has been helpful."

There's no one path to recovery after a suicide attempt. But research shows that most survivors do go on to live their full, natural lives: 90% of people who survive a suicide attempt do not die from a subsequent attempt, according to experts.

Most of the people TODAY spoke to believe they'll be managing their mental well-being for the rest of their lives, staying attune to slight shifts in their own mood and watchful for life's inevitable curveballs. In other words, they live life one day at a time. And for most of them, that's better than the alternative.

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What is it like to survive a suicide attempt? People share their stories

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Survivors tell us what went through their minds in what they expected to be their final moments - and what it's like to return to a life they tried to end. Every year, more than 45,000 people die by suicide in America. If that number sounds striking, consider this: For every suicide death, there are 25 suicide attempts.

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Stories of Hope and Recovery: A Video Guide for Suicide Attempt Survivors Story Sampler

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We Can All Prevent Suicide Our Crisis Centers Stories of Hope and Recovery Mental Health & Suicide Prevention Glossary

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This photo series captures portraits of depression, resilience, and hope.

Suicide rates in the United States have dramatically over the past 20 years. There are 129 deaths by suicide nationwide every day.

Discussed less often, there are around 1.1 million attempts at suicide every year - or over 3,000 a day, on average - many of which do not end in death.

Nevertheless, we often struggle to bring up suicidal thoughts with those we love, even when we know someone might be struggling, or we're struggling ourselves.

I believe it isn't that we don't care, rather that we don't have a common language to discuss such topics or an awareness of when we should reach out and how. We worry that we won't say the right thing, or worse, that we'll say something that'll cause the person to act on their ideation.

In reality, asking someone directly about suicide is often a way to both help the person feel heard - and help them find the help and resources they need.

Too often discussions around suicide are controlled by those who have no personal experience with suicidal ideation or mental health.

SUICIDE PREVENTION'S MISSING VOICES We rarely get to hear directly from those who have experienced suicidal ideation or survived a suicide attempt.

Hoping to shift that paradigm, Healthline teamed up with Forefront Suicide Prevention, a Center of Excellence at the University of Washington that focuses on reducing suicide, empowering individuals, and building community.

Jennifer Stuber, the cofounder and director of Forefront, spoke about the program's goals, sharing, "Our mission is to save lives [that would otherwise be] lost to suicide. The way that we think we're going to get there is by simultaneously treating suicide as both a mental health and a public health issue."

Stuber discussed the importance of every system, whether metal health care, physical health care, or education, having an understanding around suicide prevention and how to intervene if needed.

When asked what she'd say to those who are currently experiencing suicidal thoughts, Stuber said, "You can't possibly realize how much you'd be missed if you weren't here because of how badly you feel. There is help and hope available. It doesn't always work the first time around, it might take several different tries at it, but your life is worth living even if it doesn't feel like it now."

For those who've attempted suicide, it's often difficult to find spaces to tell their stories, or people willing to listen.

We wanted to hear directly from folks personally affected by suicide in order to give a face, name, and a voice to a much too common experience.

I feel like suicidality is something that's been an inherent part my entire life.

I think that we live in a culture that values strength and perseverance and has this very naive belief that everyone is born in the same circumstances with the same bodies with the same chemicals in their brains that work the way they're supposed to work.

On recovering

It's been ultimately just being lucky enough to have good enough people in my life that are willing to talk to me till 3 a.m. or give me advice and honest feedback on stuff.

For me, if I give it time, eventually I'll will not feel like dying and that's time - doing the best you can.

On how you can help people experiencing suicidal ideation

Just listen to them. Be really honest and make good boundaries about what you can and can't hear. Be wary of silence when you know that people have been doing bad, even when people seem to be doing good.

On experiencing mental illness

I've been in the hospital three times for depression [and suicidal thoughts] and two times after suicide attempts in the last seven years.

On the upside of mental illness challenges

There's a stigma with mental illness. [But] I'm definitely not ashamed of my past! If I'd never dealt with this stuff, I wouldn't be the person I am today and I wouldn't have figured out who I am or the person I want to be.

On advice to people who experience suicidal ideation

I think doing what makes you happy in life is the most important. That's why I dress the way I want. I want to show others it's okay. Don't let other people tell you how you should live your life.

On mental illness, homelessness, and poverty

Because I grew up homeless and lived in a lot of homeless populations, we didn't consider people sick. Drugs, alcohol, being suicidal, being schizophrenic - that was all just normal to us.

At the time it felt like the only way out was suicide. That I didn't have any other options, there wasn't anybody coming to save me, there was no system that was going to swoop in and take me away from the things that were causing me pain.

On barriers to getting help for people living in poverty

I didn't have a framework around what [it meant] to be mentally healthy, what [it meant] to get help.

Everybody says there's help, get help. What does that mean? There was nobody who said, "Hey look, if you don't have the money, here's volunteer organizations." I got no information when I was discharged from the hospital [for attempting suicide] besides don't do it again, find help.

On receiving affordable help for the first time (from Open Path)

It was the first time in my life that mental health was in reach.

It was the first time someone articulated to me that [following through on suicidal thoughts] wasn't an imperative. I didn't have to listen to it. That was life changing for me.

On healing

It was actually when I decided to attempt sobriety that I first even learned that idea of having a toolbox of coping mechanisms and then starting to shift it. I didn't know there were other ways to cope with these feelings that I had.

Having an alternative to feeling suicidal was a whole new world, it was a game changer. Even if I was too depressed to get off the floor, I had a mental health tool box and a language to talk to myself that I'd never had before.

I had to learn that too, that I had become one of my own abusers. That was a revelation. I was just following in the footsteps of everyone else... Yet I want to escape from the cycle.

Making those connections made me feel like my body is a worthy vessel and that I am worthy to live in it and stay on this planet.

On losing her husband to suicide

My husband had post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and he also had what we call a " moral injury," which I think is really important when talking about veterans. The way I've heard it described is that it's basically having performed acts during your time of service that were required by your service but that go against and violate your own moral code or the code of society at large.

I think my husband suffered from tremendous guilt and neither he nor I had the tools to figure out how to process this guilt.

On the isolation of survivors

About a year and a half after he died I quit my job as a lawyer and began to do photography because I needed something to do for my own healing.

What I experienced was profound isolation and that sense that you know, the world was out there, and everyone was moving on with their daily life, and I was on what I used to refer to as "planet my husband died by suicide."

On her life as a survivor of suicide

What I have come to discover is that it's actually pretty common when you have a first-degree suicide loss like that to continue to have [suicidal] feelings yourself.

I know what's helped me is spending a lot of time particularly with my veteran friends who have been trained in peer support and suicide prevention. It's so helpful to have someone who can check in and say, "Are you thinking about harming yourself?" but to go further and say "Do you have a plan and do you have a date?"

On advice to those affected by suicide

We are very antiseptic in the way we think about death and grief, particularly the taboos around suicide. When someone says "You're very young to be a widow, what happened," I'm always honest.

If he were around with what I know now, my message to him would have been, "You are loved unconditionally even if you never feel better than you do right now."

Through organizations like Forefront, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, and others, there's movement towards shifting our approach to suicidality, reducing stigma, and breaking the silence.

Our hope is that the brave individuals you met above can help be a part of that movement and that breaking of silence, bringing light to a topic that is too often avoided, ignored, or stigmatized.

For those experiencing suicidality, you're not alone, and there is always hope, even if it doesn't feel like it now.

If you or a loved one are experiencing thoughts of suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, check out this list of resources, or send a text here.
Caroline Catlin is an artist, activist, and mental health worker. She enjoys cats, sour candy, and empathy. You can find her on her .

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Suicide Survivors Share Their Stories and Advice in These Photos

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This photo series captures portraits of depression, resilience, and hope. Suicide rates in the United States have dramatically over the past 20 years. There are 129 deaths by suicide nationwide every day. Discussed less often, there are around 1.1 million attempts at suicide every year - or over 3,000 a day, on average - many of which do not end in death.

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Tell us about how you were able to cope with the loss of a loved one or ways in which you have been able to proceed through the grieving process. We also welcome stories about how you or someone you know was able to prevent suicide by identifying the problem and getting help.

We acknowledge that the realities of suicide loss are often less than positive, and it may be difficult or take some time to find a hopeful message. We'd like you to take a minute to evaluate if your story can provide hope, support, and guidance to those who have recently lost a loved one to suicide. If you're ready to share how you found peace and even possibly persevered in the aftermath of a suicide loss, please share your story in hopes that it will provide others who are struggling through the grieving process hope as well. Follow the submission guidelines closely and note that submitting your story does not guarantee it will be posted to this website. Thank you for your bravery and willingness to share and help others.
You must be 18 years old or older to submit a story.
Certain types of content related to suicide can increase the likelihood of suicide in vulnerable individuals. Risk of additional suicides increases when the story explicitly describes the suicide method, uses dramatic/graphic headlines or images, and repeated/extensive coverage sensationalizes or glamorizes a death. For this reason, we've laid forth evidence based guidelines to help you draft your story in a way that is helpful to readers and minimizes risk of further suicides.
By submitting your story to SAVE, you agree to the Submission Guidelines outlined below.

Follow suicide messaging safety guidelines:

Avoid showing or describing suicide methods or locations. We will not share your story if you include this!

Do not include overly personal details of your loved one or yourself.

Do not glorify or romanticize suicide. Suicide is not honorable or heroic.

Do not try to explain suicide as the result of one cause or as inexplicable. Provide any clues or warning signs you observed. Provide context to the story and if mental illness was present.

Do not include a link in your submission to your story. Please type your submission in the space provided or upload your story in a PDF document.

Do not include links in your story to products for purchase. This page is not meant for promotion of books, films, or other suicide prevention resources that are for purchase. If you'd like to share these resources with SAVE, you can contact us.

Make sure enough time has passed and that you are mentally and emotionally ready to share your story.

Share positive outcomes to educate or inspire hope. Stories of hope means someone has recovered, sought help, or have begun to heal after a loss. Think of the best way to get your message of hope across.

Share any resources you used and provide those details where possible.

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Tell us about how you were able to cope with the loss of a loved one or ways in which you have been able to proceed through the grieving process. We also welcome stories about how you or someone you know was able to prevent suicide by identifying the problem and getting help .

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Suicide prevention awareness: Stories of hope and resiliency 

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Published on August 28, 2020

Jeff Burkhead, Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center
Note: September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Anyone struggling with thoughts of suicide should call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or (785) 841-2345.
As soon as they received the text message, they knew. And in that moment, everything changed. Forever.

I want you all to know I love you. It's my time to leave. Thank you so much for being such a supportive and loving family. I'm sorry I have to do this. I have been planning this for a while and the time is here. I hid it well but I have been depressed for so long I don't even know when it first began. Just know there's nothing you could have done and this is my choice. As much as I love you I cannot be on this earth anymore. There's something wrong in my head and I cannot bear it anymore. I love you. Thank you for all the laughs and good times we have all had together. You are the most amazing people and the best family anyone could ever have. I'm so sorry to do this.

For April and Richard Ramos, Dec. 2, 2018, was a parent's worst nightmare. That's the day their second oldest child, Adam Miguel Juan Ramos, killed himself. He was 24.

"That's a day we will never forget," Richard said. "It's so vivid in my mind, finding him."

Adam was alone when he died. His parents found him in the basement of his house.

"I've never cried so much in my life," Richard said. "But that's OK, Adam deserves every teardrop."

The day before Adam died, he and his father watched Adam's younger brother, Anthony, wrestle at a tournament in Kansas City.

"We had a great day watching Anthony compete and cheering him on," Richard said. "Adam was so supportive of his younger brother, true brotherly love."

Adam's younger sister, Allison, was the last person in the immediate family to see Adam. They went together to a University of Kansas basketball game on a Saturday night. Adam died the following day.

"I remember that night so well because he seemed so happy," Allison said. "I made him take a selfie with me, which is now the last picture we have of him, so I am forever grateful I took that picture."

"That smile was always on his face; he hid behind it really well," said Abigail, Adam's older sister.

Behind his ever-present smile, though, Adam was hurting on the inside. He tried to kill himself by driving off the road when he was a freshman in college, though his family didn't know it was a suicide attempt at the time. His mom, April, who works in the mental health field, convinced Adam to see a therapist. He went a couple of times, but then stopped going, saying he didn't think therapy was for him.

"I struggle with blaming myself, especially being in mental health," April said. "The guilt has been really hard. My family has been great, reminding me that it wasn't anyone's fault. They said he kept it from all of us."

After Adam died, Richard received a phone call from a high school classmate whose brother had died by suicide.

"One thing he said that stuck with me was to imagine the pain they must have been in to want to end their lives," April said. "That's what has gotten us through it, that he's no longer in pain. I wish we could have helped him deal with that pain. But it helps to think that he's no longer in pain."

On what would have been Adam's 25th birthday, Feb. 4, 2019, the Ramos family gathered with friends to celebrate Adam's life.

"Adam deserves to be remembered," Richard said. "He brought us so much happiness in his short 24 years. We need to keep talking about him."

Talking about suicide can make people uncomfortable, but it's important to talk about, to bring the subject out into the open.

"This has to be talked about," Richard said. "I know suicide happens way too often and I want to help change that.

You never know what someone is going through

Growing up in Charles Town, W. Va., Carter Gaskins' family didn't talk about their feelings. His father was the strong, silent type.

"My father was a big guy and he was the type of person who thought men didn't cry," Gaskins said. "So I kept my feelings hidden. I think more of the black community holds this topic of anxiety and depression inside. We are taught to be strong and not to be emotional. Unfortunately, in the black community, we have to run faster to get ahead, so we don't have time to feel emotion. We just must keep running to be successful."

Gaskins was a skinny, quiet kid growing up. From first grade through the 11 th grade, he was bullied. Pushed off his bike. Punched in the chest. Called names. He didn't tell anybody about what was going on. He put on a good front, but when he was by himself, he would cry.

"I would think, why am I not good enough?" he said. "Why can't I be a normal kid?"

In his senior year of high school, Gaskins chose a different path. He started hanging out with people who were on the streets. They were his protection. He started sticking up for himself.

"That's when I got into things I shouldn't have," He said. "Street life, fighting, hanging out all night, going to clubs and parties."

But he wasn't happy.

"Depression hits you in different ways," Gaskins said. "I was angry, frustrated, didn't care about nothing."

When his father, this big, strong guy who seemed invincible, became sick and started having his own mental health issues, Gaskins sunk deeper into depression. His father, because of his physical problems, ended up going on dialysis.

"Seeing my father on dialysis, helpless, hopeless, I started having a nervous breakdown, shaking, crying," Gaskins said. "In March 2009, I had my first panic attack and I'll never forget it."

Three months later, Gaskins' father died after suffering a stroke during dialysis.

"The depression was still there," Gaskins said. "I used to ride motorcycles. I would sometimes ride at a high speed and think about killing myself. I had no fear."

One year after the death of his father, Gaskins met Shanice, the person who would become his wife. About a year later, they were expecting a child. The child passed away shortly after birth.

"That's when everything went black for me," Gaskins said. "Everything was numb. It was like there was a huge cloud sitting over me. There were a lot of times I would be in the car holding a gun and just wanted to end it. I really didn't care about anything."

Gaskins and his wife separated and she moved to Lawrence, while he stayed behind in West Virginia. He ended up joining her here in Lawrence. The move changed his life.

"It took my wife to get me out of that place. I put her through hell, but she's such a strong woman," Gaskins said. "I had to deal with all of my pain and my frustration and face those things head-on."

And he discovered a new passion.

"That's the reason I got into photography," he said. "There are a lot of people who deal with anxiety and depression and suicidal thoughts and they think no one cares about them. I take it upon myself, that it's my job to show them how beautiful they are with my camera. You never know what someone is going through. I went through it, and I understand it."

Trauma and resilience

When she was 13, Sierra Two Bulls contemplated killing herself.

"It was really more self-harm; I cut myself," she said. "What I really wanted was for the problems to go away, but not necessarily my life. I never attempted after that, but that became part of my journey. It was my family's addiction problems that really made me want to kill myself when I was 13."

Two Bulls, an alumna of Haskell Indian Nations University and the University of Kansas, is an Oglala Lakota from the Oglala Sioux Tribe on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. She grew up around her culture and traditions, but the poverty, addiction and despair are also a reality for her and her tribe.

"As a Native person, we have ongoing intergenerational trauma caused by European colonization, the genocide, the boarding schools, and the forced removal from our land," Two Bulls said. "There's a saying, I have attended more wakes and funerals than graduations and other celebrations. That speaks to my reality. Suicide rates among American Indians/Alaska Natives are historically higher than those of the total U.S. population. We have that ongoing trauma."

Two Bulls experienced trauma in other ways as well. She is a sexual assault and domestic violence survivor.

"Even though I come from a long line of resilient people, we still have ongoing trauma," she said. "I have seen the effects of that."

In 2015, when Two Bulls was in graduate school at the University of Kansas, one of her best friends killed himself. Motivated by the loss of her friend and to earn her master's degree in Social Welfare, Two Bulls applied to do her practicum at Headquarters Counseling Center. She's been a volunteer counselor ever since.

"It's been a long journey," she said. "Trauma and resilience have played a huge factor in my life. That's what brought me to Headquarters and why I've stayed."

Suicide does not discriminate

Chris Maxwell has been working in the field of suicide prevention since 2013. His personal experience with suicide goes back further.

"I had my own experiences between high school and college with a couple of suicide attempts myself and then went through my own recovery process," Maxwell said.

Maxwell, who is director of public relations and media for the American Association of Suicidology in Washington, D.C., began working in the area of suicide prevention when he went through training to become a counselor for Headquarters Counseling Center in Lawrence, which is now Kansas Suicide Prevention HQ.

"Now, looking back, I would say it absolutely influenced me to get into this line of work," Maxwell said. "Through the Headquarters training, it became clear that this was something that was not only helpful for others but was helpful for me in processing and coping and connecting with others who had experienced similar things."

Maxwell found that opening up about his experiences was helpful when he was going through his own struggles.

"Being more open and sharing how things are going and asking for help when I needed it was really big," Maxwell said. "It's really hard to reach out and ask for help, and suicide is a hard topic to talk about. It can make you feel like you're a burden to those around you. But I found out I wasn't a burden; people really did want to know what was going on with me."

Maxwell said it is important for people to check in with each other, especially now during a pandemic.

"With COVID-19, that isolation factor is huge," Maxwell said. "We know that people are being impacted, we know that people are feeling worried. People are suffering in silence and not feeling like they have any way of dealing with their emotions. We need to be checking in on our loved ones all the time."

Build lives worth living

Amy Hammer is a member of the Dialectical Behavior Therapy team at the Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center. She experienced bullying and suicidal ideation when she came out as gay in high school. After taking a psychology class, she knew she wanted to help people who were struggling with mental health.

In college, she volunteered at Headquarters and learned a lot about talking to people who were considering suicide. She has been a DBT therapist for almost 20 years now; for the past five years, focusing on transgender individuals and how to help them. The transgender population is at a higher risk for suicide; though research shows that trans people are less suicidal when their families are supportive.

"I love DBT because it's a respectful treatment for people who have suffered from traumatic, invalidating experiences and environments," Hammer said. "DBT has shown in many studies over the past 20 years to be really helpful for people who are struggling with intense emotions, suicidal ideation and self-harm. I've watched countless people get much better, stop wanting to die, and build lives worth living."

Suicide is OK to talk about

Like cancer, most people know or know of someone who has died by suicide.

"Almost everyone is touched by suicide, in some way," said Allan Bunch, vice president of communication and development for Kansas Suicide Prevention HQ. "I challenge anybody to meet someone who has never been impacted by suicide."

For many years and still in some circles, suicide isn't talked about. Adding to the stigma and shame.

"Suicide is OK to talk about," Bunch said. "When we're talking about suicide we're not talking about anything that anyone should be ashamed of. Someone died because they were in pain and they sought to end their pain. Most people who are considering suicide actually don't want to die; it's just the only way they can see ending their deeply intense emotional pain."

We're so grateful for our volunteers

Like every other business and organization has had to do during the pandemic, Headquarters Counseling Center has adapted and adjusted. But its counselors remain as dedicated as ever.

"We're all focused on day-to-day living and staying safe while we experience a global pandemic, and our volunteers are not an exception to that," said Jared Auten, training coordinator for Headquarters. "They're certainly having their capacity stretched and challenged. So we're conscious of trying to keep them supported. We've been so grateful for our volunteers."

Typically, Kansas Suicide Prevention HQ has about 55 active volunteers at any given time. A standard shift is four hours; the overnight shift is eight hours. The number of calls per shift varies. Headquarters is part of a national network of more than 160 crisis centers that answer calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

"Our volunteers are regular people in the community who have an interest or a passion for suicide prevention," Auten said. "The volunteer opportunity attracts people who have some connection to suicide."

For Auten, it was his father.

"My main motivation for getting involved with Headquarters was the death of my dad in 2006 by suicide," Auten said.

Auten was 13 at the time of his father's death.

"I wasn't initially told that he had killed himself; I was told a day or two later," Auten said. "When I was told that my dad had died, I knew that he had killed himself, but no one was saying it. I didn't think it was a hunting accident, which is how it was presented to me. Every family, every community is impacted by suicide. But those stories aren't always told. The other reality is as a society we really aren't comfortable talking about suicide."

Talking about suicide isn't easy but it's necessary, Auten said.

"Mental health issues, like suicide and depression and anxiety, are not talked about among men. The attitude is that asking for help is not masculine and that it's a sign of weakness," Auten said. "We as men have to acknowledge there are aspects of masculinity that get in the way of us doing things that promote health and wellness.

"When someone is experiencing suicidal thoughts, it's important to have open and honest conversations about access to services as well as access to firearms and other lethal means, and to encourage family members to work collaboratively with the person who is at risk."

When someone died by suicide, it's easy for others, particularly family members, to blame themselves.

"Even when someone displays warning signs and ultimately dies by suicide, it's no one's fault," Auten said. "But that blame is definitely something that suicide loss survivors experience. You start questioning, what could I have done? Could this have been prevented? A lot of survivors go through the mental gymnastics of trying to make sense of it. It's important to be reminded that it's no one's fault."

It's a safe place

When Matt Jackson started as a counselor at Headquarters Counseling Center, he encountered something he had never experienced before.

"It's a safe place," Jackson said. "It's the first safe place I've ever known."

Like other suicide counselors, Jackson has his own history with the issue.

"I have a history of depression, a history of anxiety," Jackson said. "At one point in my life, I actually got to the point where I had gone and bought a knife. I think I was maybe 18. I had given away possessions; there were certainly warning signs."

Dealing with being gay and growing up in the South as well as working through childhood trauma that he had to "unpack over time," Jackson has healed and grown. As a counselor, he has shared from his own experiences when it's appropriate and he thinks it will be helpful, but, mostly, he listens.

"We provide a mirror of self-reflection that allows people to open," Jackson said. "It's all anonymous. We do everything to protect the caller's anonymity and our own anonymity. So it's a forum, almost like a confessional. My role, as I see it as a volunteer counselor, is to be an assistant. I'm assisting people, I'm here to hear you. That person, whether they realize it or not, by calling, by reaching out, they've already made a step toward surviving, toward life."

Suicide can affect anybody

In 2019, Bill Harkness, a longtime board member of NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) Kansas and board president, died by suicide.

"It was a shock to everybody who knew him but a reminder that suicide can affect anybody," said Bill Wood of NAMI Douglas County.

After Harkness' death, Gov. Laura Kelly issued a statement: "I'm deeply saddened to hear of Eric's passing. He was a tireless advocate for the Kansas mental health community. He touched many lives with his unbridled passion for helping people who deal with mental illness every day access the help and support they need.

"Eric inspired us during Mental Health Advocacy Day at the Capitol and other activities as part of his unwavering commitment to educate and increase awareness about mental illness."

Wood remembers his own personal experience with suicide, which occurred years ago.

"It would be pretty unusual if somebody hadn't at least thought about it sometime in their life," Wood said "When I was younger and not getting along with my wife very well, I was driving down the road one day and thinking about which telephone post am I going to hit. Fortunately, a little voice said, you're listening to a lie here; you can work this out. So, I'm still alive."

Pandemic has posed unforeseen challenges

Rachel Wolfe, an urgent care therapist for Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center, has talked with many clients whose lives have been upended by the COVID-19 pandemic.

"While working with clients over the past several months, I have noticed a topic that frequently comes up in session - routine," Wolfe said. "In crisis therapy and individual outpatient therapy alike, we often support clients in developing healthy, supportive routines which are shown to positively impact one's mental health."

The pandemic has dramatically changed those routines.

"Throughout the pandemic, people have had their lives, and specifically their routines, flipped upside down without any notice," Wolfe said. "Clients have told me that they feel like their mental health, physical health, and lives as a whole are out of their control; and this is often where suicidal thoughts come in. Whether they live or die becomes one of the only things they feel they can control."

"Although the pandemic has posed our clients with many unforeseen challenges, I also am hopeful that it has shown them that they are resilient, resourceful, and well-equipped to overcome life's inevitable challenges," Wolfe said.

Hope and resiliency

The American Association of Suicidology promotes on its social media platforms the hashtag: #AAS365. September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, but the message is that spreading awareness about suicide prevention should be a year-round focus.

"We believe we need to focus on suicide prevention every day, of every year," said Chris Maxwell, AAS director of public relations and media. "It's great if people want to do campaigns during September to bring awareness to it, but with the understanding that we need to have efforts and initiatives all the time. Suicide obviously can't be prevented during just one month or one day. It's important we talk about suicide and suicide prevention every day of every single year."

One way to do that is to share personal stories.

"Having folks who are OK with talking about their own experiences is always really powerful," Maxwell said. "Talking about struggles and coming through those struggles and talking about hope and resiliency, that's really important."

Jeff Burkhead is communications director at Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center.

For help, these resources are available 24/7:

* The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 800-273-8255

* Headquarters Counseling Center - 785-841-2345

* Crisis Text Line - Text HOME to 741741

* Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center - 785-843-9192

Bert Nash also offers Mental Health First Aid, a course designed to help people from all backgrounds learn about the signs and symptoms of various mental health challenges and crises. One important component of Mental Health First Aid is learning about the warning signs of suicide and how to ask the critical question, "Are you thinking about killing yourself?" so that a person might actively engage with someone to prevent an attempt. Mental Health First Aid helps people develop their empathy skills and increases our abilities to connect with our friends and family members who are struggling. Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center is now offering MHFA virtually - a current class listing is available under the Events tab at www.bertnash.org.

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Suicide prevention awareness: Stories of hope and resiliency | LMH Health | Lawrence, KS

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Published on August 28, 2020 Jeff Burkhead, Bert Nash Community Mental Health Center Note: September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Anyone struggling with thoughts of suicide should call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or (785) 841-2345. As soon as they received the text message, they knew.

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