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The Limits of Empathy (hbr.org)

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Empathy is all the rage pretty much everywhere. It’s touted as a critical leadership skill, one that helps you influence others in your organization, anticipate stakeholders’ concerns, respond to social media followers, and even run better meetings. But it has its limits. Empathy taxes us mentally a…

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Ressources = facilitators (put the odds in your favor)

Internal resources

(e.g. creativity, organization, positive attitude, sense of humor, communication...)

External resources - Social support

(e.g. friends, family, colleagues, professionals https://www.ontario.ca/page/find-mental-health-support...)

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What expectations do you have of yourself and others? Which ones do you need to change in order to act with more respect for yourself?

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Practice compassion and gratitude
Show kindness to yourself and others

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Challenge your beliefs about the instantaneity  of responses.

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Challenge your beliefs about the instantaneity  of responses.

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A few minutes to TAKE A BREAK BETWEEN TWO VIRTUAL MEETINGS

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It's not necessary to have more, but to use them better!

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https://bouncebackontario.ca/

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BounceBack® is a free skill-building program managed by the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA). It is designed to help adults and youth 15+ manage low mood, mild to moderate depression and anxiety, stress or worry. Delivered over the phone with a coach and through online videos, you will get access to tools that will support you on your path to mental wellness.

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BounceBack Ontario - Canadian Mental Health Association, Ontario

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BounceBack® is a free skill-building program managed by the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA). It is designed to help adults and youth 15+ manage low mood, mild to moderate depression and anxiety, stress or worry. Delivered over the phone with a coach and through online videos, you will get access to tools that will support you on your path to mental wellness.

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Open up the discussion about the use of technology within your family and your work team.

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Open up the discussion about the use of technology within your family and your work team.

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Learn about FOMO (Fear of missing out) and JOMO (Joy of missing out).

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Learn about FOMO (Fear of missing out) and JOMO (Joy of missing out).

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https://www.wholelifechallenge.com/fomo-vs-jomo-how-to-embrace-the-joy-of-missing-out/

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Reading Time: 8 minutes

The next Whole Life Challenge starts in:

The world is our buffet. In our hyper-connected society, we're presented with so many opportunities to "do" - to connect online, to keep up with social media, to attend social events, parties, sporting activities, and webinars. We can learn new things, meet new people, network, and do whatever our hearts desire (including things we didn't even know we wanted to do).

With so many opportunities, it can feel tempting to do them all. Combine this temptation with "fear of missing out" (FOMO), and it's little wonder we can feel depleted after doing too much.
Note: Unless you've been living under a digital rock for the past few years, you've probably heard of FOMO. It's an underlying form of anxiety that we're missing out on something or that other people are having more fun than us.
Given that FOMO can be exhausting and overwhelming, it makes sense that FOMO's counterpart - JOMO (joy of missing out) - has recently emerged. In stark contrast to FOMO, JOMO encourages us to embrace the pleasure of choosing what we want to do (or not do), in a way that engages and fulfills us.

JOMO is about understanding yourself, your needs, and your desires, and choosing to live in a way that energizes you. But to fully embrace this joy of missing out, we need to better understand what's driving our fear of missing out.

Social Media and FOMO

Depending on which side of the fence you're on, social media could be man's greatest invention or a blight on our existence.

Regardless of your position, most would agree that the rise of social media has led to an over-reliance on technology for "connection." Some may even argue that the use of social media has developed a compulsion, urge, or addiction in many of its users.

Social media platforms like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram personify FOMO. Our news feeds are filled with status updates, photos, memes, and the latest breaking news. Everything is amazing. We wield the power of a "like," which stimulates a dopamine hit for the receiver. We become addicted to the likes, the knowing, and the busyness, so we go back for more. Minutes and hours can slip by unnoticed while we hunch over our smartphones and laptops, afraid we'll miss out on something.

Our heavy reliance on social media for connection is developing an arms-length style of communication. We substitute conversations, phone calls, and letters for status updates, post comments, and instant messages. This fragmented, indirect form of communication is dissatisfying to our innate human need to connect with others. It's why we can spend all day on social media, texting, or emailing, yet still feel lonely.

Social Pressure and FOMO

Another driver of FOMO is the pressure to be seen in the right places with the right people. Whether it's from a sense of duty or striving to get ahead, we feel obliged to attend certain events for work colleagues, acquaintances, family, and friends.

We're human. We love to feel part of something. It's in our nature to be tribal and we're wired for connection. But participating in an activity merely because we're afraid of missing out misses the point. We need real connection, of the type and variety that fulfills us.

Spending Friday night at a large social event - when all you want to do is have a quiet dinner with your family at home - is not fulfilling. Attending a colleague's baby shower out of obligation - when all you want to do is have lunch with your friends - isn't fulfilling. The resentment and frustration it can breed is unproductive.

This societal pressure - and the accompanying fear of missing out - can compel us to do things we don't enjoy. JOMO, on the other hand, encourages us to understand what we want, why we want it, and how we're feeling in the present moment. It directs our energy and time into the activities that truly engage us. Regardless of what we do or don't do, it's the intention behind those choices that's important.

4 Reasons to Embrace JOMO

Clearly, FOMO has its downsides. So why should we embrace JOMO instead? Here are four reasons.

Joy Giver #1: More Time

Moving away from a life filled with over-commitments mean more access to that finite resource: time. Given that we're so quick to lament our lack of time, how wonderful would it be to treasure more of it?

Instead of spending our free moments consumed by the drama of social media, email, and text messages, what if we chose to disconnect and spend time doing things we're too "busy" for, i.e. exercise, play, self-care, experiencing life?

Joy Giver #2: Spontaneity

Freeing yourself up from unwanted commitments and online addictions means more space and time for spontaneity, unplanned moments, and the surprise of chance encounters. What would you do if you had no plans? What does that quiet inner voice want to experience?

Joy Giver #3: Waking Up

Excess technology dulls the senses and deadens the emotions. Therefore, it's often used as an avoidance strategy. We don't want to feel bored, lonely, sad, or frustrated, so we turn to our smartphones for a fix.

Yes, it can hurt to be alive. As humans, we feel the full range of emotions from happiness to anger, joy to despair. Life can get messy. It can't be controlled in an orderly fashion. That's what makes it so wonderfully vivid - embracing the highs, weathering the lows, and savoring everything in between.

That is life, not a mind-numbing technological existence. We need to wake ourselves up and JOMO can help us.

Joy Giver #4: Slowing Down

JOMO lets you do things at your own pace. To be here and now. To experience life at its purest essence.

Seeing the sun glinting off the morning dew. Hearing the tinkling notes of laughter. Feeling the warm sunlight on your skin and the grass between your toes. Smelling freshly brewed coffee. Experiencing the world moving beneath and around you. These are the things we should fear missing out on. These are the things that make us marvel at the world and its true aliveness.

Not surprisingly, this slower pace also enhances our creativity. Have you noticed you get the best ideas when showering, daydreaming, or walking in nature? That's because we're more creative in the quiet spaces, when our minds are free from distraction, hurry, thinking, and obligation.

How to Embrace the Joy of Missing Out

At this point, JOMO sounds like a welcome relief from the franticness of FOMO. So how do we fully embrace the joy of missing out?

Step 1: Disconnect

As a first step, remove distractions. Put down your smart phone, close your laptop, and step away from your devices. These electronic distractions will prevent you from determining if you truly wish to engage in an activity.

Step 2: Reflect
If the concept of doing "nothing" seems overwhelming, try these activities as a starting point:
Create spaces of unstructured time in your week to reflect. Perhaps start with an hour, half a day, or a weekend. When there's nothing to "do," your quiet inner voice can be heard. You get a greater sense of which activities you enjoy (and why). This is a clue in determining what fills you up and what drains you.

Stay in your pajamas all day

Eat a leisurely breakfast in bed

Re-read your favorite novel

Watch a classic film

Wander in your garden

Meander through the neighborhood

Lie in the grass and stare at the clouds

Cook a meal from scratch while enjoying your beverage of choice

Go for a drive with no destination in mind

Play board games with your family or friends

Write in your journal

Go through old photo albums

Step 3: Reconnect

Rather than reconnecting on the Internet, start by conversing with a friend or family member. Look them in the eye. Treat them as the most important thing in the world at that moment. Notice how you feel. Or reconnect to yourself by indulging your love of photography, music, cooking, gardening, writing, hiking, or surfing.

If you want to reconnect online, first take a breath. Ask yourself, "Are you sure?" Recognize whether going online will leave you feeling distracted, depleted, or uneasy. If so, choose to connect in another way.

Step 4: Keep Testing

A great way to decide if an activity is worth doing is to imagine your eighty-year-old-self looking back on your life. Will you remember that time you accepted a Facebook invitation out of obligation to an acquaintance, or will you remember the time you spent precious moments laughing with your loved ones at dinner instead?

Similarly, if you really want to know what matters in the end, take advice from the dying. While it may seem morbid at first, their message is wonderfully uplifting. It turns out, the things we regret most at the end of our lives aren't the missed parties, Facebook events, and drunken weekends.

We regret the deeper stuff - not living our personal truths, not appreciating our relationships, not spending more time with friends, and not being honest about who we really are.

More JOMO, Less FOMO

As Henry David Thoreau said, "Wealth is the ability to fully experience life." Be joyful. Be simple. Be together. Be real. Be messy. Make life personal. Remove the arms-length distractions of technology. Choose real connections rather than shallow distractions.

Each moment we have is a gift. Will you choose fear or joy?

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FOMO vs. JOMO: How to Embrace the Joy of Missing Out

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Reading Time: 8 minutes The next Whole Life Challenge starts in: The world is our buffet. In our hyper-connected society, we're presented with so many opportunities to "do" - to connect online, to keep up with social media, to attend social events, parties, sporting activities, and webinars.

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Establish rituals and routines to create a mental boundary between work and personal life

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Establish rituals and routines to create a mental boundary between work and personal life

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Listening to music, creating an "end of day” playlist

Set up visual boundaries to your workspace with a rug, curtain, screen or other

Change the lighting, use a warm light at night and dim the lights

Have a motivating conversation with a neighbor, friend or family member about a topic NOT related to your work life

Change your clothes

Take a walk or do a workout at home

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Give yourself screen-free periods, especially on days off and vacations.

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Give yourself screen-free periods, especially on days off and vacations.

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Establish set times during the day to respond to emails.

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Establish set times during the day to respond to emails.

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1 hour of concentrated work followed by a 5-minute walk. During this time, take the opportunity to follow up with a phone call.

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I tend to leave my phone off on the weekends but use the DND feature so that I know if there's an emergency I can be reached! :)

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Before starting work while my computer is opening I write down 3 things that I am grateful for. Sets the tone for the day!

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Meditating before and after work to try and group. 

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Meditating before and after work to try and group. 

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A 10-Minute Meditation for Stress from Headspace | Mental Health Action Day

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Do something good for someone . Kidness 

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Do something good for someone . Kidness 

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Stretch at the beginning and end of the day 

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Stretch at the beginning and end of the day 

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Gentle Seated Yoga to START or END Your Day!

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Having time totally without my phone

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Find it tough to end the workday; so now I set an alarm on my phone to end the day and I wrap up and go for  quick walk.  Need that audio sound LOUD!!! :)

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Fair play/division of labour at home and letting go of the tasks that aren’t mine

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Saying no to activities I don’t want to do.

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Prioritizing Sundays as a full indulgent "me" day with nothing I "have" to do or "should" do. 

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Prioritizing Sundays as a full indulgent "me" day with nothing I "have" to do or "should" do. 

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Plan moments of "deep-work" no notifications or distractions

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Plan moments of "deep-work" no notifications or distractions

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Having a meeting while walking

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Shared calendar with partner for everything- personal and other obligations

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Planning fun things/rewards after I complete hard things. So I have something to look forward to. 

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Planning fun things/rewards after I complete hard things. So I have something to look forward to. 

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Blocking off time in my work calendar to focus on my work. 

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Blocking off time in my work calendar to focus on my work. 

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Turning off all phone notifications and muting everything so I can control my time. 

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Turning off all phone notifications and muting everything so I can control my time. 

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Try to stop worrying about tomorrow's tasks or stewing over office tensions

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Try to stop worrying about tomorrow's tasks or stewing over office tensions

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TED Talk sharing with 3 simple techniques aimed at helping you truly relax and recharge after workhttps://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_how_to_turn_off_work_thoughts_during_your_free_time?referrer=playlist-how_to_get_into_a_work_from_home_mindset

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Guy Winch: How to turn off work thoughts during your free time

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Feeling burned out? You may be spending too much time ruminating about your job, says psychologist Guy Winch. Learn how to stop worrying about tomorrow's tasks or stewing over office tensions with three simple techniques aimed at helping you truly relax and recharge after work.

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Plan my day with activities that give me energy and write them down in my planner! ie schedule my walk!

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Spend time outside

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Use your commuting time (Fake commute)

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Set moments with your partner and friends on the agenda

Take “1 hour vacation” each week

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Schedule a regular sleep time!!!!