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Gipadali-dali ko, nya kung makachat murag grabi na kaykog pagkuwang nga nadugay ko. To think nga naa kog gibuhat sa balay ganeha. Nag Sabin ko bantay dodong. Nya dugay kapniudto Kay gahuwat kos luto ni mama. Nya duha-duha kog lakaw Kay uncomfy ko tungod sa akoa menstruation. Nya Wala pa gyud motor. So galakaw ko, gikan balay padong highway. Imagine, that's kilometers away nya sa kainit 1 ko galakaw sa udto. Biyahe Pako, Nya abot kos ilaha mga 2:30

Pag abot , mura rag Wala. Igo rako gipanllingkod. Sa sud daw ko lingkod Kay alimuot nganhi sa gawas. Pero alimuot gehapon sa sulod. Nya sya naa sa iya higdaanan. Nag selpon.

Mao diay di sya mosugot nga adto nalang mis highway mag-abot Kay ganahn pa sya magligid, nya giingnan rako ug wa pa diay ka maandam. Hays.

So unsa Mani? Nianhi ko Kay? .............

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

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I met someone. He's like my father.

His smile and the way he approached me. His eyes, just like him. The friendly, lovely and calm side of him.

But before I rode in the multicab, I ask guidance ni papa sa cemetery. Maybe, this is his answer to my prayer. Thank you, Lord.

And to think panalipan Ra sya kutob, so ganeha ako Ra gtud Ang nakasakay. 🥹

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Just be happy❤️

Trust God, he is in control.

He is with you, Jamaica.

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Supposedly, tomorrow is, my Big Day!

But not anymore. I was so excited and overwhelmed with this event as I have been dreaming of this. I sacrificed and more.

I am so sad and hurt as it turns out nothing......then....nothing can beat my excitement.

I hope my younger self, my college self, my reviewee self, will be proud of me even if I did not do all the things that she really deserves for the Big Day.

Thank you for your hard work 💗 You've been so strong, just keep it up.

Don't cry today.

Please, Jamaica, do something for yourself. Work hard, earn for yourself, get what you want, do what you want, have peace of mind and enjoy your every journey. I love you always ❤️

I know you have a future, you deserve a brighter future.

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Gusto mong umiyak, pero, dapat STOP! Take care of yourself para di ka mag Mukhang kawawa bukas.

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Hays. Loading sad kayka pads ay. Maong di kayko ganhan mag share Ari. Kay mag type ko. Di nasad ma publish. Hays

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Am I unfair, if I want something good for my life.
Am I ungrateful, if I always complain what I have in my life.
Am I useless, if I did my best but they didn't saw it.
Am I worthless, if all I did is to make them happy and received my help.
Am I insensitive, if I show them what I don't like or if I have a bad day.
Am I too demanding, if I want a life that I want to live.

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I have so many stories to tell but I keep it on silent. That is why I didn't share it with you here. Ahahahahahhahaha the truth is I am also tired to open up my stories here because I am busy and don't feel like sharing it. I felt bad for myself. But at this moment. I can't sleep, maybe I will recall some and post here

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I have so many stories to tell but I keep it on silent. That is why I didn't share it with you here. Ahahahahahhahaha the truth is I am also tired to open up my stories here because I am busy and don't feel like sharing it. I felt bad for myself. But at this moment. I can't sleep, maybe I will recall some and post here

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Pads. Wa ko kibaw Unsa akoa isulti sa imo kung asa ko mag start. Pero sa pinaagi niani, nahuwasan ko gamay. Sige lang ko hilak Ron. Kadaghan bag problema oy. Lisod gyud sulbaron bitaw. Lisod e carry tanan. Di ko ganhan magpuno sa ila problema. Maong di ko ganhan mosulti sa uban. Pero magpaka strong lang ko ani. Kay I need to be strong. I must be strong. Dapat lang. Double double Ang kasakit pads. Unsaon kaha ko ni. Wa nko kahibaw unsay maayong desisyon. Galibog nko. Luoy kayko ni mama. Kay kahibaw gikos iya mga pag antos dri namo. Sa tanan niya anak, iyang bana ug mga apo. I salute my mother gyud for the strongest woman. Ang akoa lang karon. Si papa sad matabangan nila tanan. Sakit baya tog kasing kasing. Maguol sad to. Wa ko kahibaw unsay buhaton gyud. Love Kay na nako Silang duha. Ganhan ko ako sila mahatagan ug kinabuhi nga ila pangandoy. Naay video, di nko makaya tan aw tanan. Kay gahilak si mama, nanghagis. Di nko kaya. Kay sukad sukad. Wa gyud na nakapagawas si mama sa iya mga kalagot. Unta tabangan ko nmo Lord sa akoa mga desisyon ug sa akoa kaugmaon. Nga unta okay rasad sila tanan adto. Ganhan ko e comfort si mama. Ug si papa.

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Kung mamatay mn Gani ko ba. Di ko ganahn naay mag regrets. Di ko ganhan naay ma blame sa akoang pagkamatay. I want to die smoothly. Charooot. Di ko ganahn ma blame Ang uban sa akoa pagkamatay Kay di gtud lalim mabuhi aning kalibutan, nya moapil Pako sa ilaha problema. Ganahn rakog peaceful. 

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Kung mamatay mn Gani ko ba. Di ko ganahn naay mag regrets. Di ko ganhan naay ma blame sa akoang pagkamatay. I want to die smoothly. Charooot. Di ko ganahn ma blame Ang uban sa akoa pagkamatay Kay di gtud lalim mabuhi aning kalibutan, nya moapil Pako sa ilaha problema. Ganahn rakog peaceful. 

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Iloveyou 💗

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Di kalaag. Kay naay gipamati si mommy sa lawas. Bawi lang next time

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Write something beautiful.

How ironic is it? Ahhaahahah all I posted here is some sort of  MAOY then. Ahhaahahh maybe beautiful, BAD beautiful.
Hi padlet. Thank you.

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The time. Hehe. Di diay tinuod? Tinuod raba no?

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That, Voices in my head.

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mag doctor guro ko no. Kay daghan kaykog diagnosis sa akoa kaugalingon ay mga sakit, naabot Pako atong lympnoids unsa Pato. Hays nko. Haahhahahahah

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I remember my brother said, how is it ironic no that Dr. Mata is a doctor but masakiton. Dr. Mata is his teacher. I just laughed and corrected him.

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I didn't have a chance to pursue doctor.
But I have a chance to be called doctor,
I will pursue doctorate After masteral degree's.
AAHAAHHAAHHHAHAHAHAHA

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Sa akoa kaboang pads ba, makaana ko ay, Hala basin di ko kabangon nig tog nko ba, di pwede mamatay ko Kay naa pakoy labhanan nga bulingon. Haahhahahahah watever.

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It was Feb 8 when colors surprised me. I was very happy that time. They said that in my birthday sorry pink Wala silay makuan masurprise nko tungod bagyong Odette then they greet me a happy birthday. And I replied, your greetings and your safety is enough for me. I forgot sa uban akog sulti. I am thankful even if wa silay gift or surprise nako, Kay ang important ilaha kaugalingon, nga safe sila. Di Ra na nako big deal mga In ana ahahhaahha but. They.... Aahhahahah
It was unexpected. And it was a successful joyful surprised. I am happy of what they did. It was just something missing Kay si black Wala nakakuyog. Thank you colors. I love you all. Everyone of you, I am thankful that I meet you in my life. Amping mo permi future educators, ahy mga saag diay. Ahahhaahahha.

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January 2022, trauma is inside me. Trembling and shaking, the thought is rumbling. Don't know what to do, just wanna avoid them.

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I was at sogod, don't wanna go back here in danao because of that trauma, but no matter what my sister plead to say the reason, I kept silent. Don't wanted her to bother. Don't want to give her some problems. She even give some  problem examples, ahahhahaha buntis daw ko, naa ba daw ko sakit, giunsa diay kuno ko ni ate. I just laughed. Kay none of them is true. She even pushed that I am pregnant. So. Ahahhaahah My pamangkin said. ,"buranday naa ankay bag Ong kaduwa, Kay si mamai naay baby, magduwa namo" ahahahahahah katawa ko oy. Ahahhaahahha sa Tanan expression Kato iyaha na express, like happy sila nya naa pay kaduwa si bors. Hahaahahhaha

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Pads. Nag start akoa back and nek pain ba. Kay mga Feb 8 mn guro to. Then pag January, I experience neck pain Ra it was before and after my second dose vaccine. Mild rato. Nawala ramn sad. Pero dugay to syà nawala. 2 weeks guro. 
Then pag Feb 8, na timing ba nga busy ko daghan school works. Momata kog kadlawn. Like 12 or 1 then matog balik mga 5 ,or 6 usahay di pa gyud kabalik tog. Didto na nag start sa wa koy tarong tog. Nya sig kugos ni Marc val. Bug at raba. Kay kaanng magnata ko,usahay si Marc val mohilak man. So ako pa syà kuguson, bug at raba dodong. Ahhahahahahha mao to. Until now Feb 18, sakit gehapon sya. Kato gihilot ko eray Feb 14, naokay sya gamay, naglaag Gani mi ato, nya nibalik ug sakit. Nya Feb 17, pahilot ko porple gosh. Nindot sya mohilot murag true pero sakit gehapon akoa liog. Wa nko kibaw unsay buhaton. Ahahahhaha hays

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Pads. Nag start akoa back and nek pain ba. Kay mga Feb 8 mn guro to. Then pag January, I experience neck pain Ra it was before and after my second dose vaccine. Mild rato. Nawala ramn sad. Pero dugay to syà nawala. 2 weeks guro. 
Then pag Feb 8, na timing ba nga busy ko daghan school works. Momata kog kadlawn. Like 12 or 1 then matog balik mga 5 ,or 6 usahay di pa gyud kabalik tog. Didto na nag start sa wa koy tarong tog. Nya sig kugos ni Marc val. Bug at raba. Kay kaanng magnata ko,usahay si Marc val mohilak man. So ako pa syà kuguson, bug at raba dodong. Ahhahahahahha mao to. Until now Feb 18, sakit gehapon sya. Kato gihilot ko eray Feb 14, naokay sya gamay, naglaag Gani mi ato, nya nibalik ug sakit. Nya Feb 17, pahilot ko porple gosh. Nindot sya mohilot murag true pero sakit gehapon akoa liog. Wa nko kibaw unsay buhaton. Ahahahhaha hays

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Yo know what pads? Sakit akong liog ba, nya lisod gyud para nako. Feel nko Mao ni akoa kamatyan. Usahay di gyud nako maagwanta. Naa baya ko daghan buhatunon. I have my own diagnosis Gani. Ahahahahahah Diagnosis nako Kay naay ugat nga napiit or nalihok. Naay niburot sa may ugat. Or katong meningitis nga akog diagnose sa akoa sakit sa ulo sad. Kay there was a time nga sakit Kay akoa head. I don't know the reason. Nag Sige rako search, meningitis akoa nasearch nakafeel ko naa ko ana. Nya di raba na magdugay. Makuyawan mn ta ani. Ahahhahahah maong nakaingon ko naay meningitis Kay dapit sad sa ulo ba. Pero other diagnosis nako no, nalihok akoa spinal cord. Aggahahabab Yamat Ra. Ahahahahahh madayon man kahà ko pagkadoctor Ani. Ahahhahaha

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Hays pad ( short for padlet). Tapulan giko usahay mag post Ari. Kay moloading mn gyud. Ahhaabbahab so mao to. Mag notes ko daan. If ganahn ko. Then. Dungannon nkog post Ari. Ahahahahhaahahha

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I don't know if I can still bear this pain in my neck and back pain. I just hope that everything will gets better.

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What if, this will be the sign that I will be leaving this earth. Charot.

Depende. Kung time na nko. Leaving.
If skwerte Pako. Ahw, living oy. Ahhahaahha

Kay adto kog another planet.

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Ano Ang PINAKAMASAKIT? That I am able and willing to help others, but.... I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. 

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I will always treasure this person who always adores me and my nonstop supporter and my bully. 

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I will always treasure this person who always adores me and my nonstop supporter and my bully. 

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She named me the Jamaica the G.
I love her. I hope she really reach her dreams in life. I wish her all the best. And I am grateful being her best friend.

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Maraming mga problema Ang Hindi ko naibahagi sa iba, isa na don Yung nagbibigay trauma, si ate lang nakakaalam pero si padlet di ko nasabihan. MIsmo sila di nila alam.
Natakot ako, paano nalang ako.
Paano nalang....
Di ko alam gagawin. Napakasakit isipin na ganito nangyari sa akin. Kailangan ko maglihim. Para walang mga ibang tao Ang magbabahala sa akin.

Hindi alam ano Ang nARAramdam
Nung sinabihan ako na ,
Walang nangyari ganun, sa isip mo lang Yun
Ibang storya Ang napakinggan
Hindi nag atubili na akoy paniniwalaan
Sinabihan pang takot lang
At naging dahilan pa AKo sa mga lakad na Hindi nila naituloy.

Gusto ko limutin Ang lahat.
Gusto ko sioang pagsabihan pero dapat ay manahimik nalang.
Sa Ngayon, ako nagiging okay na, pero di parin mapakali sa tuwing sya ay nandyan sa paligid lang.

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Alam ko Ang hirap Kong intindihin. Minsan nga MISMO sarili ko di naintindihan.
Sana sila ay mananatili pa, dahil kailangan ko sila
Kaibigan, pamilya at ikaw mahal kong nag iisa.

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Wat if, iiwan nya ako sa panahon na kailanganin ko sya. Sa mga panahon na kailangan Kong intindihin nya ako kahit Ang hirap na. Ano kaya gagawin nya? Ano kaya mangyari sa akin? Ano Kaya Ang Ang dulo Namin?

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I forgot the date, I think this convo was 4 months ago. As I am not at home, and I am currently staying here in danao as a working student, and often went home at special events. Like birthdays. Then, there was this beautiful talkative english talker niece of mine, my cousin's daughter. She was wondering where i was for the rest of the days, it is because she didn't saw me roaming in our house, so she asked me where i was. Then i replied that i worked here in danao.                             not actual conversation but same thought.  (*ate may where are you man diay, i didnt see you man sa house ni lola. now lang ko kita balik imo. *naa mn ko worke scarl, didto ko sa danao. *unsa man work nmo adto? *nagbantay ko baby. *ahw, nagbantay diay ikaw baby. if you take care a baby its a lot of hardwork man oy. you've got to change diaper, play with him, feed him, bath him, and ahmmmm i think some more pa....., you have to make him sleep pa, you have to walk with him, kugos pa gyud ka sa baby dapat sing ikaw, then you well tell him stories, its a lot of hardwork man ate may oy.)    mao na ang convo nakalimot kos uban niya nga gisulti about sa pag take care sa baby. ahhahhahaah daghan to syag giingon, gibalik balik gani to niya pila kabuok. i was shocked kay sa 6 years old innocent child, she knows that taking care of a baby is a hardwok, maybe the reason di sya ganahn naay manghod nga baby pa, ganahn sya big largo iyaha manghod like sa iyaha bby ella, ahhahhahaha by the way everytime i saw her when i got a chance to go home, i always asked ger what's my name, kay yo know she always forgot my name. ahahhaahhaha she was confused bout ate may, ate maimai or mamai. ahahhahahahah my brother even named her the forgotter, but it was just kinda joke.

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I forgot the date, I think this convo was 4 months ago. As I am not at home, and I am currently staying here in danao as a working student, and often went home at special events. Like birthdays. Then, there was this beautiful talkative english talker niece of mine, my cousin's daughter. She was wondering where i was for the rest of the days, it is because she didn't saw me roaming in our house, so she asked me where i was. Then i replied that i worked here in danao.                             not actual conversation but same thought.  (*ate may where are you man diay, i didnt see you man sa house ni lola. now lang ko kita balik imo. *naa mn ko worke scarl, didto ko sa danao. *unsa man work nmo adto? *nagbantay ko baby. *ahw, nagbantay diay ikaw baby. if you take care a baby its a lot of hardwork man oy. you've got to change diaper, play with him, feed him, bath him, and ahmmmm i think some more pa....., you have to make him sleep pa, you have to walk with him, kugos pa gyud ka sa baby dapat sing ikaw, then you well tell him stories, its a lot of hardwork man ate may oy.)    mao na ang convo nakalimot kos uban niya nga gisulti about sa pag take care sa baby. ahhahhahaah daghan to syag giingon, gibalik balik gani to niya pila kabuok. i was shocked kay sa 6 years old innocent child, she knows that taking care of a baby is a hardwok, maybe the reason di sya ganahn naay manghod nga baby pa, ganahn sya big largo iyaha manghod like sa iyaha bby ella, ahhahhahaha by the way everytime i saw her when i got a chance to go home, i always asked ger what's my name, kay yo know she always forgot my name. ahahhaahhaha she was confused bout ate may, ate maimai or mamai. ahahhahahahah my brother even named her the forgotter, but it was just kinda joke.

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Been thinking that, but how about the life of the driver? Don't take actions that might suffer other's life. There is no way to get away without involving others or after, they will blame someone on. 

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I have lot of school works to do.
But it's like I'm not into it.
Not feeling like doing it.
Brain didn't function,
Body is paralyzed on its own.

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Escape? How to escape? Can we find ways to stop trying to escape?

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The Title of my Digital Storytelling activity. 

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The Title of my Digital Storytelling activity. 

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Then, I realized things. I pity myself for not doing something......
Only, shed tears
Inside that dark room
With hand on my feet
Feeling the moment.
Enduring the pain
Till the dawn came.

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*Don't make it harder for me, I may leave a mark on your face.

*Please make it more hard, so that I could find a reason.

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I'm afraid. I might find a way to leave and can't escape.

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IS THIS TRUE? AHAHAHAHAHA COULD THIS BE TRUE?

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I HOPE THAT I COULD REALLY CONNECT MY HEART AND MIND ON WHATEVER I REALLY DO.

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CHAAAARS, can't believe i did that drawing in 4 hours at night. i know that Im not capable of drawing. it was just, i am proud of this.

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did i really grow?

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I LOVE SEEING ELLA TAKING CARE OF HER COUSIN. I COULD SAY THAT SHE' S MY LITTLE ME, BUT HMMMP, EXCEPT THE MALDITA SIDE. 

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i really love seeing myself doing like thois, i felt so flatter, like i lived the life of being a model on my own. ahhahahahaha

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happpy bahalag daghan school works and household responsibilities. kakayanin

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happy happy lang. with ed caluag. ahahahahhaha college friends

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looking forward to the  next graduation we will be having soon, in God's grace and guidance

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he liked tapping my head, smelling my hair, holding my foot. ahahhahahaha

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PAMILYA IN A TRUCK VAN KAY WALA MAY LAIN KASAKYAN. MURA MIG SARDINAS. AHAHAHHAHAHHA

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SELFIE BEFORE TAKING A NAP DURING OVERNIGHT. HAHAHAHAHAHHAH I LOVE YOU LADY IN THE BACK. I LOVE YOU ALL. 'TILL NEXT LAAG.

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I WAS THAT GIRL IN THE SOFA, OVERNIGHT, BUT I FELT ASLEEP. AHAHAHHAHAHAH

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TRYING TO BE CUTE

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I LOVE THIS CANDID AHHAHAHHAHAHA I ASSUMED TO BE THE PREETIEST IN MY OWN WOLRD

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I WILL ALWAYS BE THE SENORITA. HARDWORKING SENORITA. AHAHAAHHHAHAHAHAHAHA

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I FEEL SO PRETTY IN HERE. I LOOK CHUBBY EVE IF NOT IN PERSON. AHAHAAHHAHA I ALSO LIKE THE BACKGROUND THO. THAT WAS MY BROTHER'S ROOM. AHHAHAHAHAHHA

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I SUPPOSED TO TAKE NURSING, but cant afford.

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If I say my babies they are my babies. My mga pamangkins.

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during lockdown when i was still in Sogod.

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I Love seeing them having great talk with each other.

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This was the first time i held buranday and see her for the first time in person. This was taken february 3, 2021 during Mine and Ella's birthday.

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HE IS SO FUNNY. HE DONT WANT TO TAKE OFF HIS MASK, AND EVEN PUT IT BACK WHERE IT SHOULD IN HIS OWN PACE. 'CAUSE HE THOUGHT WE WERE GOING SOMEWHERE. AAHHAHAHA

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THIS WAS TAKEN LAST JUNE 2021, AT THE WEDDING OF MY COUSIN. WE LOOK GOOD TOGETHER AT THAT PHOTO.

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it was so hadlok, kay sakay kog baruto, nya paranoid kaayo ko. gossssh. di baya ko kahibaw mo sawm ay. pero di sayang oy kay nindot kay adto. clear ang tubig.

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DON'T PUT PEOPLE ON BOXES

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I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS. THIS WAS UNFORGETTABLE.