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Amanda Mc Guinness | Autism PDA Specialist on Instagram: "Autistic Rumination - Why is it that as an Autistic person I think and think and over think about times gone by, interactions, conversations, misunderstandings. I talk to other Autistic people often and they will always mention that they still think about different moments in their lives as if it was “yesterday” and try to understand why something happened the way that it did. They ruminate. 
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Autistic rumination is fuelled by trauma - anxiety - episode and eidetic memory - Monotropic attentional tunnelling and information driven cognitive processing to name but a few. 
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We spend our lives searching in cycles of questioning and doubting seeking clarity, often finding none and so the cycle of rumination begins again. 
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That has always been my lived experience. I see it occur in my Autistic children and hear about it from my Autistic friends and colleagues 💜 
As an Autistic person does this resonate with you? What captures your thoughts and keeps you questioning and wondering for years to come ? 
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#neurodivergent #monotropism #doubleempathyproblem #autisticculture #autisticadults #autisticadult #autisticpride #autisticartist #neurodivergentaffirming #neurodivergentwomen"

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4,548 likes, 124 comments - littlepuddins.ie on January 1, 2025: "Autistic Rumination - Why is it that as an Autistic person I think and think and over think about times gone by, interactions, conversations, misunderstandings. I talk to other Autistic people often and they will always mention that they still think about different moments in their lives as if it was “yesterday” and try to understand why something happened the way that it did. They ruminate. 
-
Autistic rumination is fuelled by trauma - anxiety - episode and eidetic memory - Monotropic attentional tunnelling and information driven cognitive processing to name but a few. 
-
We spend our lives searching in cycles of questioning and doubting seeking clarity, often finding none and so the cycle of rumination begins again. 
-
That has always been my lived experience. I see it occur in my Autistic children and hear about it from my Autistic friends and colleagues 💜 
As an Autistic person does this resonate with you? What captures your thoughts and keeps you questioning and wondering for years to come ? 
-
#neurodivergent #monotropism #doubleempathyproblem #autisticculture #autisticadults #autisticadult #autisticpride #autisticartist #neurodivergentaffirming #neurodivergentwomen". 

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View this post on Instagram

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Free resources to support Autistic children 

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Free resources to support Autistic children 

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Amanda McGuinness is an Autistic Autism and PDA specialist, educator, advocate, and founder of Little Puddins, based in Ireland. She is also Director of Autism Advocacy & Professional Practice at Flourish Autism where she supports Autistic individuals, families, educators, schools, workplaces, and organisations through a neuroaffirmative, trauma-informed, and evidence-informed approach.

Amanda specialises in Autism, Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), ADHD, communication differences, visual supports, sensory and nervous system regulation, emotional wellbeing, and inclusive practice. Her work focuses on deepening understanding of the relationship between the brain, body, behaviour, regulation, communication, and lived Autistic experience.

Alongside her professional work, Amanda is an Autistic and ADHD adult with a PDA profile and parent to four neurodivergent children, including two children with Intellectual Disability and PDA profiles. This combination of educational expertise, advocacy, professional practice, and lived experience allows Amanda to bring a compassionate, practical, and deeply authentic perspective to Autism and neurodiversity.

Through Little Puddins and Flourish Autism, Amanda creates accessible resources, training, workshops, and educational content that support regulation, inclusion, communication, wellbeing, and meaningful connection across home, education, workplace, and community settings. Little Puddins is a trusted Autism and PDA resource for parents, families, educators, and professionals across Ireland and internationally. Whether you are a parent seeking a deeper understanding of your Autistic child's nervous system, communication, regulation, or support needs, an educator looking for neuroaffirmative strategies, or a professional seeking evidence-informed guidance on Autism, PDA, ADHD, and neuroinclusion, you will find practical, compassionate, and accessible support grounded in both current research and lived experience here.

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Little Puddins | Amanda McGuinness | Autism & PDA Specialist

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Little Puddins is a neuroaffirmative Autism and PDA platform by Amanda McGuinness, providing evidence-informed resources, training, and support for families, educators, and organisations across Ireland and beyond.

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Autistic Limerence - special interest in a person explained

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Autistic Limerence - special interest in a person explained

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Limerence is a term introduced by psychologist Dorothy Tennov (1979) to describe an intense, sustained form of emotional or romantic infatuation. It involves persistent, involuntary thoughts about another person, powerful longing for reciprocation, emotional dependency, and heightened sensitivity to cues of acceptance or rejection.

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Monotropism, Limerence And Autistic ADHD Experiences | Autistic Realms

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Limerence in Autistic and ADHD people may be shaped by monotropism, a natural tendency toward deep focus and emotional intensity. Rather than being unhealth…

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When adult children cut ties, the path forward requires wisdom, compassion, and proven strategies.

Dr. Joshua Coleman is a leading psychologist specializing in family estrangement, helping thousands of families navigate reconciliation and healing.

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Dr. Coleman Speaks Where Families Need Hope Most

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Eliminate Symptoms of Post-Birth Control Syndrome & Balance Your Hormones without Birth Control Pill Side Effects

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A 30-Day Program to Balance Your Hormones, Reclaim Your Body, and Reverse the Dangerous Side Effects of the Birth Control Pill

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In the Flo: Unlock Your Hormonal Advantage and Revolutionize Your Life

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In the Flo: Unlock Your Hormonal Advantage and Revolutionize Your Life

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A life-changing biohacking program for women's health and well-being--Use your natural 28-day cycle to optimize your productivity, fitness, wellness, relationships, and longevity

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In the Flo: Unlock Your Hormonal Advantage and Revolutionize Your Life: Amazon.co.uk: Vitti, Alisa: 9780062870490: Books

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Buy In the Flo: Unlock Your Hormonal Advantage and Revolutionize Your Life Reprint by Vitti, Alisa (ISBN: 9780062870490) from Amazon’s Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

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Track your ADHD symptoms each month.

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Navigating ADHD and PMDD: Understanding the Complex Interplay

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Did you know that premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) affects 46% of people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? But what’s the connection?

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Arc Woman - Women's health - Nutritionist Sarah Honey

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Arc Woman - Women's health - Nutritionist Sarah Honey

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Your hormones aren’t a mystery.

They’ve just never been properly explained

Evidence-based women’s health education covering hormonal health, fertility, cycle literacy, and beyond, because a woman who understands her body understands her potential.

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Foods to eat for each stage of your menstrual cycle - Nutritional guidelines for optimising your hormones at each stage of your menstrual cycle.

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Foods to eat for each stage of your menstrual cycle -

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Learn nutritional tips to optimise your hormones at each stage of your menstrual cycle to mitigate from symptoms of PMS.

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Guide to better periods using natural treatments such as diet, nutritional supplements, herbal medicine, and natural hormones. It contains advice and tips for women of every age and situation

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Lara Briden ND (Author) Format: Paperback

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Period Repair Manual: Natural Treatment for Better Hormones and Better Periods

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Buy Period Repair Manual: Natural Treatment for Better Hormones and Better Periods 2 by Briden ND, Lara (ISBN: 9781975926779) from Amazon’s Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

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One in Four - resources for survivors of CSA

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One in Four - resources for survivors of CSA

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Resources for those working with survivors of sexual abuse..

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Our wide-ranging resources support greater professional understanding of the trauma of sexual abuse

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Sanderson will lead you through her practice-proven strategies and methods for achieving incredible therapeutic breakthroughs with narcissistic clients so that you can help them recognise and change their patterns of deception, manipulation, and challenging behaviours.

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Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

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Hope is the UK’s leading registered charity helping young people aged 5-25 when a loved one has a serious illness.

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If you're a young carer looking after someone in the family, our team can help you with information, support and free events and activities.

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Young carers (under 18) | Action for Carers

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Support for young carers from Action for Carers Surrey

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Every young carer deserves the chance to thrive. We offer services throughout Kent, East Sussex and the London boroughs of Bexley, Greenwich, Havering, Lewisham and Southwark.

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Every young carer deserves the chance to thrive. We offer services throughout Kent, East Sussex and the London boroughs of Bexley, Greenwich, Havering, Lewisham and Southwark.

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Free photography workshops and activities, such as bowling and burger, Battle Zone laser combat and crazy golf. See our activities happening in What’s on

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Young carers service in East Sussex | Care For The Carers

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Our young carers service is for young carers aged 5 to 17 years living, attending school or caring for someone in East Sussex. Please get in touch for support.

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A young carer is someone aged under 18 who cares for a friend or family member who, due to illness, disability, a mental health problem or an addiction, cannot cope without their support.

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A young carer is someone aged 25 and under who cares for a friend or family member who, due to illness, disability, a mental health problem or an addiction, cannot cope without their support. Older young carers are also known as young adult carers and they may have different support needs to younger carers.

What might a young carer do?

Practical tasks, like cooking, housework and shopping.

Physical care, such as helping someone out of bed.

Emotional support, including talking to someone who is distressed.

Personal care, such as helping someone dress.

Managing the family budget and collecting prescriptions.

Helping to give medicine.

Helping someone communicate.

Looking after brothers and sisters.

How many young carers are there?

The 2011 Census identified 177,918 young carers in England and Wales. One in eight of those were aged under eight.

Scottish Government recognises that there are at least 29,000 young carers in Scotland.

This is widely believed to be the tip of the iceberg, with some estimates suggesting that as many as one in five schoolchildren are young carers (University of Nottingham 2018), with this number increasing during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Being a young carer can have a big impact on the things that are important to growing up

Young carers are already likely to have significantly lower educational attainment than their peers.

With the added complications of COVID-19, young carers have missed out on even more school than before and urgent support is needed if they are not to be left behind their peers.

Caring can also be an isolating experience but having the right support in place can give young carers a better chance of succeeding in all parts of their lives.

How we support young carers

Young Carers Action Day

Young Carers Action Day is an annual event led by Carers Trust. It raises awareness and calls for action to increase support for young people with caring responsibilities. On Young Carers Action Day 2022, we are calling on all governments across the UK to commit to taking action to reduce isolation for young and young adult carers including access to short breaks, These are important in providing much-needed freedom from caring responsibilities, as well as reducing isolation and promoting wellbeing.

Specialist services for young carers

Carers Trust helps young carers to cope with their caring role through specialised services delivered by its network of local carer organisations across the UK. They are independent charities. Activities offered include:

Activities and breaks.

Peer and community support, including young carer groups and peer mentoring schemes.

Information, advice and guidance, including one-to-one support and age appropriate information.

Emotional support.

Advocacy.

Brokerage and support planning.

Training in subjects such as health and safety, wellbeing and life skills.

Supporting families and young carers to apply for appropriate benefits.

Emergency planning support.

Whole family support.

Engaging young carers in informing service development.

I think I might be a young or young adult carer, where can I go for support?

The responsibilities of young and young adult carers vary greatly, so you may be eligible for support, even if you don't feel like you do a lot of caring. If you think that you might be a young or young adult carer, get in touch with your local carer service. Support workers will be able to ensure that you receive the support you need.

Find your local carer service

There are also lots of organisation that can support young carers with a range of issues.

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A young carer is someone aged 25 & under who cares, unpaid, for a friend or family member who cannot cope without their support.

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Preview of ‘Long Covid Transformed my Mommy’

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Preview of ‘Long Covid Transformed my Mommy’

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https://www.dottieloni.com/

Order a copy here. US based publisher.

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Long Covid Support is a registered charity in England and Wales. Our focus is to campaign and advocate in the UK for recognition, rehabilitation and research into treatments and to facilitate international peer support.

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Booklist for explaining parental chronic illness to children. 

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Booklist for explaining parental chronic illness to children. 

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9 Children’s Books Kids of Chronically Ill Parents Should Read - Mamas Facing Forward

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Kids can carry big feelings about having a parent with a chronic illness. Here are 9 children’s books that can help kids process these feelings and learn to talk with their parents about them.

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A Young Person’s Guide. A group of young people living with Long Covid who have worked with health researchers to develop a guide on Long Covid from a

young person’s perspective.

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Long Covid - book to explain to children 

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Long Covid - book to explain to children 

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Long Covid Kids | Registered Charity | Post Covid Syndrome

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Support and advocacy for families, children & young people living with Long Covid. Long Covid Kids is a registered charity advocating for families, children & young people living with Long Covid. Join our peer to peer support group, find resources and read our frequently asked questions.

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The Double Empathy Problem: Autistic Communication Is Not a Deficit

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Explore the Double Empathy Problem—a theory explaining why communication breakdowns between autistic and non-autistic people are mutual, not one-sided. Autistic communication is a difference, not a disorder.

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Lab tests and their results interpreted 

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Lab tests and their results interpreted 

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The Labs I Run on Every Patient. Print This. Bring It to Your Doctor.

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I’m about to give you something for free that most people pay me for.

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Working with young adults 18-25 year olds

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Specialising in neurodivergence

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Counselling, Coaching, Mentoring, Advisory Teacher, and Autism Training Provider. Clinical Supervisor.

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East Surrey Counselling Group – Based in Godstone and serving the communities of Caterham, Whyteleafe, Oxted, Redhill and Reigate

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Thank you for visiting our website. We hope we can help and look forward to hearing from you. We work individually 1:1 with children, young people and adults of all ages, offering sessions all week, including Saturday and Sundays.

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Worried about a young person infographic - Kent residents 

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Worried about a young person infographic - Kent residents 

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One referral pathway.  Two great services

We’re making it easier for children and young people in Kent to access the right mental health and wellbeing support, exactly when they need it.

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Discover how the Kent Therapeutic Alliance and Therapeutic Support Service can guide you to the right mental health support.

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Swallowing issues.

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https://foundationschildtherapy.co.uk/parent-support

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The National Bereavement Service offers support, signposting and legal guidance following the loss of a loved one, as well as providing advice to anyone planning ahead in anticipation of their own death.
"Losing someone we love is upsetting and often traumatic, but few of us realise how much practical work goes along with it. "We welcome any initiative to help people through the practical aspects of bereavement while they are still coping with the emotional impact. "The National Bereavement Service helps people through the actions they need to take at a time when it's hard to think of anything other than the person they've lost."
Nikki Archer, St Giles Hospice

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National Bereavement Service | We're here when you need us most

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The National Bereavement Service offers support, signposting and legal guidance following the loss of a loved one, as well as providing advice to anyone planning ahead in anticipation of their own death. "Losing someone we love is upsetting and often traumatic, but few of us realise how much practical work goes along with it.

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Grief can be overwhelming - you don’t have to deal with it alone. Cruse Bereavement Support is here. Call our helpline or chat online.

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Grief resources and support for Children

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Grief resources and support for Children

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1. Support & guidance

2. For children and young people

3. For children

Suitable for children who have been bereaved of someone important to them. Read more

Activities to support a bereaved child to talk about their feelings, manage their grief, and find ways to remember someone special. Read more

Animations and films, including films made by young people for other young people. Read more

Latest

Most read

Children and young people grieve just as much as adults but they can show it in different ways. Find out how you can help them and more about child grieving.

Guidance on children's understanding of death at different ages and stages of development.

Guidance on explaining to a child that someone has died.

No parent expects to face the death of their child and no grandparent expects to lose their grandchild. See our resource for support and guidance on grieving for a child.

Child Bereavement UK designs and delivers training for professionals in health and social care, education, the emergency services and the voluntary and corporate sectors, equipping them to provide the best possible care to bereaved families.

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A list of books and resources relating to grief and bereavement and what may help. Read more

Find out more about the experiences of bereaved families we have supported and professionals we have supported and trained. Read more

Most people who are bereaved experience grief, which involves feeling lots of different emotions in response to the death of the person. Read more

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charity bereavement child death grief loss baby stillbirth miscarriage suicide young people parents

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We help children, young people, parents, and families to rebuild their lives when a child grieves or when a child dies.

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When a new baby is expected in a family, most young children will be looking forward to the birth as much as everyone else. Having to explain the death of an expected baby brother or sister is an incredibly hard thing to do. When deep in your own grief, it might feel just too much to have to start to think about what to say to a toddler or young child. If your baby died very early on in your pregnancy, other children may not be aware that a baby was on the way. However, they will be aware that something is not right and that you are behaving differently. This page explains how to answer questions from young children and suggests words to use that will help them to understand what has happened. Children have a much greater capacity to deal with the truth than most adults realise; it is the unsaid and the untruthful that they struggle with.

Why do I need to say anything, my children are very young?

Children are all individuals and each will react to what you are about to tell them in their own way, according to their age and level of understanding . Some will be upset, others will carry on as if nothing has happened, but all will be affected to some degree. An explanation will enable them to start to try to make some sense of the situation. Without this, young children may start to feel anxious and insecure, unsure of what is going on and what is the cause. What they are not told they often make up, which can cause confusion and further distress. This is when children can start to blame themselves by believing in some way they must be responsible for what has happened.

A child may not fully understand what has happened but they will certainly have picked up on the distress around them and be very aware that things are 'not right'. A simple explanation as to why you are upset will reassure them that you are OK but feeling very sad because that it is how people are when something upsetting happens.

Children are often involved in preparations for the new baby and along with the rest of the family may have talked about things they are going to do with their new baby brother or sister. They, therefore, need to understand why this is not going to happen to help them cope with their own, and everyone else's, feelings of disappointment. Even children who have appeared ambivalent about a new baby will still have had some expectations around being a big brother or sister.

When should I tell them?

Children are naturally curious with surprisingly good powers of observation and learn by asking questions and watching other people's responses. If a child is asking a question, it is usually because he/she needs to hear, and is ready to hear, the answer. It may go against strong feelings of wanting to protect them, but children need to hear the news as soon as possible. The longer you leave it, the greater the likelihood that they will overhear a conversation, sense something is wrong and feel alone in their worries, or find out in some other inappropriate way.

How much should I say?

Every child is different and some will need more information than others. How much you say will be influenced by your child's stage of development, personality and temperament. You know your child best and are therefore the best judge as to how much to say. Do not be surprised if you are repeatedly asked the same question. This is what children do to try to make some sense of what has happened.

Young children will be aware that something is not right and that those around them are behaving differently. At this age, they have a tendency to think that they might be the cause of your distress, even when nothing has been said or done to imply this. Some appropriate words to explain your upset can reassure them:

Mummy is crying because I am feeling very sad. It is what people do when someone they love dies. I loved your baby brother and wish that he had been able to live, but I still love you just as much and always will. I am very glad that I have you.

When explaining what has happened, try to use simple words appropriate for your child's age and understanding. It is important to use the real words such as 'dead'. Euphemisms including 'lost' or 'gone to sleep' may appear kinder, but for a child can cause complication and confusion as they will take the meaning literally.

Give just enough information to deal with any questions asked

When a child is ready to hear more, they will ask another question. There is a fine line between being honest and overloading a child with information they do not want or need. The following words are only suggestions to help you answer the question, 'What happened?' Initially, this may be all you need to say:

I have some very sad news to tell you. Your little baby brother was not as strong and healthy as we thought he was and unfortunately, he has died.

Young children will not necessarily understand what being dead means.

Being dead means that he isn't breathing, his heart has stopped and his body has stopped working. We are feeling very sad because we are going to miss him very much.

On hearing the news young children will need reassurance:

It is very unusual for this to happen but sadly it sometimes does. When you were inside mummy's tummy you were fine.

Agree beforehand what you are going to say so that children hear the same explanation from all adults. A child's reactions on hearing the news that their expected baby brother or sister has died will probably be the same regardless of at what stage of the pregnancy it happened. The term 'born too early' may feel easier to use than an adult word such as 'miscarriage'; it is up to you.

Siblings who visited a baby brother or sister on a neonatal ward/special care unit may have heightened awareness and more questions because of what they saw, or overheard, in the hospital.

Some children, because they are older, or are just more curious, might ask more questions. There is no timescale for this and it may be days, weeks, or months after the baby has died. The following are just suggestions to give you ideas for words that feel right for you and your child.

A possible explanation for a miscarriage

Sometimes babies are born too soon because they have not grown properly inside their Mummy's tummy. Because they are not ready to be born and are so very tiny, they cannot live. We're very sad because this is what happened to our baby. We don't always know why this happens and we wish very much that it had not happened to our baby.

Words that might help you to talk to a child when a baby is stillborn

Very few babies sadly die before they are born while still inside their Mummy's tummy.

I have some sad news to tell you. You know that we are expecting your baby brother/sister to be born in July. When mummy went to see the doctor today they took a special photograph (scan) of the baby because they thought that there might be something wrong. When they looked at the photograph (scan), they could not see his heart beating. This is because it had stopped working. Your heart needs to work to stay alive so the doctor knew that he had died inside Mummy's tummy. This means that when he is born he will be dead. This is a very sad thing to happen and we wish very much that he was still alive.

While still in Mummy's tummy, the baby's body was not growing properly. There was something wrong with the baby and this meant that he died before he was born, which is very sad.

This means that the baby will not be coming home to live with us or grow up to be big like you. We are very lucky to have you. We will still give the baby a name. Would you like to help choose one? We will say a special goodbye (have a special service a bit like a funeral) after..... is born.

Words you may wish to use with children who need more information

Sometimes babies are born with an illness, or something wrong with their body, that is so serious that they die very soon after they are born. The doctors might be able see there is something wrong on a special machine that takes a photograph of the baby before it is born. This is called a scan. Not all problems can be seen this way and sometimes no one realises that there is something wrong. This is what happened to your little brother.

Sometimes babies are born too soon. Because they are not ready to be born and are so very tiny, they cannot live. Their heart and lungs are too small to work properly. This is what happened to your baby brother.

Sadly, you got to know him for only a very short time but we will all remember him. I thought that his nose looked just like yours.

How can I help my child?

Children need reassurance. Their sense of security may be shaken by what has happened and this can make children feel anxious. They may need extra cuddles or resort to soothing behaviours, such as thumb sucking, more than usual.

Try to keep to your usual routines as much as possible. Daily routines are probably disrupted and familiar people are likely to be behaving in unusual ways. Young children will find this unsettling and disturbing. Sticking to what you usually do will help to give a child a sense of safety and things being OK. Maintaining your usual levels of discipline will help children to feel secure.

Do tell any adults your child comes into contact with about what has happened. This will help them to understand if your child is upset or behaving out of character and be ready to respond. View our resource for more on helping a bereaved child build resilience .

Adults act as a role model so it is helpful if everyone can take the same approach. Whether at home, in day care, or at school, children need an accepting and supportive environment where they feel safe to ask questions and share feelings. If the adults around them can express their emotions, a child will know it is OK to do the same.

Encourage and help children to express how they are feeling. Very young children use play to help them understand what has happened. Messy painting or drawing can help a child who is struggling to express themselves with words. For ideas have a look at our activities for grieving children and young people .

Children of all ages enjoy books. Suggestions are given below for books to share that may help open conversations and offer reassurance.

Other families talk about their experience of baby loss.

Visit our page: How we can support you for more on our services.

You can also call our Helpline 0800 02 888 40 , email , or use Live Chat on our website.

Latest

Related

Most read

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Short films delivered by our support practitioners giving guidance on a range of bereavement topics. Read more

A list of books and resources relating to grief and bereavement and what may help. Read more

Watch short films and read experiences of bereaved families and how support has helped them. Read more

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charity bereavement child death grief loss baby stillbirth miscarriage suicide young people parents

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Explaining stillbirth or miscarriage to a young child

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Having to explain the death of an expected baby brother or sister is an incredibly hard thing to do. When deep in your own grief, it might feel just too much to have to start to think about what to say to a toddler or young child.

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Books about grief and loss for 5 to 8 year olds

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Books can help children to understand sad feelings – from losing a cherished toy to the death of a family member.

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The NDC Collective provides ongoing guidance and community to help you understand and support your neurodivergent child with clarity and confidence as they grow and face different challenges over time

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The NDC Collective provides ongoing support to help you understand and support your neurodivergent child with confidence as they grow and face different challenges over time.

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Counselling in Brighton | Professional Counsellor | Tim Pike Counselling

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Tim Pike counselling in Brighton. Experienced and qualified male counsellor and psychotherapist in Brighton with a broad range of counselling experience.

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Try this Blob Bridge resource to talk about the feelings that change can bring up and how we manage in the transitional spaces.

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Living through Change | nicolastewart.org.uk

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Change is often spoken about as if it were a moment, but in lived experience, change is rarely a single point in time. Think about some changes you may have negotiated in life: moving school/college, a new job, end of a relationship, moving house, areas or countries, losing a loved one. Those are some of the more obvious bigger ones! But how about the gradual, cyclical, nuanced changes we don’t always pause to acknowledge such as the aging process; watching children grow up; moving through the seasons…

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OCD vs. Autism | Neurodivergent Insights

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OCD and Autism are often misdiagnosed or misunderstood as either/or but they frequently co-occur. Dr Neff explores the overlap and key differences.

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You might find it helpful to talk to other people who have gone through or are going through the process of questioning their sexuality. You can meet other LGBTQ+ young people at your nearest LGBTQ+ youth group or you can talk to a trusted adult using our Proud Connections chat service.

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A person's sexual orientation, or sexuality, is the part of their identity that relates to who they find attractive/who they fancy. Although it's in the name, the attraction to other people does not have to be sexual, it could be romantic. Some people are attracted to a particular gender/genders, some people are attracted to who the person is (their morals, values, humour, intelligence, etc.), and for some it's a combination of the two. Attraction can feel different for different people; it can involve wanting to be around a person more, thinking about them when you are not with them, "butterflies" in your stomach, feeling giddy or nervous when you are together and more.

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Exploring Sexual Orientation- The Proud Trust

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A person's sexual orientation, or sexuality, is the part of their identity that relates to who they find attractive/who they fancy. Although it's in the name, the attraction to other people does not have to be sexual, it could be romantic.

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We support children and young people aged four to nineteen.

We can help with a range of issues young people might face including:

day and night-time wetting and soiling

children and teen's sleep

children and teen's behaviour

children and teen's healthy lifestyle

puberty and growing up.

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ChatHealth

ChatHealth is a text service for 11 to 19 year-olds. Young people can text with a member of our team about any physical or emotional health concerns they have. This service is available Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm on 07520 618850. This service is confidential and anonymous.

Screening
Our team visits your child's school to offer vision and hearing in reception, and height and weight in reception and year six.
We also offer health and development questionnaires for your child to help identify any emerging health conditions or concerns. You'll receive more information and asked if you're happy for your child to consent via a letter.

School transitions

Starting at school or moving to secondary school are big steps and we're here to support you and your child at these key milestones.

Families who might need further support

All children are unique and we can offer support based on your child's needs using one-to-one packages of care. Visit our special educational needs and disability or neurodivergence pages for more information on support we can offer you and your child.

The Children's Special Schools Nursing Team works in special schools to support children and young people with complex health needs.

Children and Young People's Counselling Service update

Following a public consultation, Kent County Council (KCC) has taken the decision to close the Children and Young People's (CYP) Counselling Service. If you or your child are already on the waiting list for counselling, please be assured that you will be seen as soon as a counsellor becomes available.

While you wait, we've selected helpful resources and websites to support you on Kent Family - waiting well. You can also download a list of providers offering support for children and young people with mild to moderate wellbeing needs from our website.

Kent County Council (KCC) has commissioned Salus to deliver a new service for children, young people, and their families, living in Kent. The new Children and Young People's Therapeutic Support Service will offer flexible, accessible options to improve emotional wellbeing for those aged four to 19. Support will be available on a one-to-one basis or in groups, tailored to mild to moderate needs.

Contact us

If you have any concerns, you don't need to wait for us to visit your child's school, you can contact us at any time. You can also access our services if your child is not attending school.
kentchft.kentschoolhealth@nhs.net
Phone 0300 123 5205 and select option two.

Complete our online referral form. Read our 'What happens when I make a referral to School Health' leaflet for more information on what happens following a referral to our service.

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Kent School Health referral Fill in your details to get in touch. Complete form Welcome to Kent School Health. We support children and young people aged four to nineteen. We can help with a range of issues young people might face including: day and night-time wetting and soiling children and teen's sleep children and teen's [...]

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Kent Therapeutic Support Service - Salus

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Kent Therapeutic Support Service - Domestic Abuse Support service for children and young people who have experienced domestic abuse at…

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The Ultimate Puberty Guide for Boys 8–14 Years Old: Growing Up with Confidence—Understanding Body Changes, Emotions & Learning Essential Life Skills

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Buy The Ultimate Puberty Guide for Boys 8–14 Years Old: Growing Up with Confidence—Understanding Body Changes, Emotions & Learning Essential Life Skills by Winslow, Kelly (ISBN: 9798998724206) from Amazon’s Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

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Phantasia - How do you see in your 'mind's eye'?

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Phantasia - How do you see in your 'mind's eye'?

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How do you see in your mind’s eye? | nicolastewart.org.uk

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The most important question that you have (most probably) never been asked about Phantasia.

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Trauma Informed Care: Perspectives and Resources Trauma and Depression Resources Information about posttraumatic stress disorder as well as assessment instruments for trauma and PTSD can be accessed through the National Center for PTSD Assessment Instruments Developed at the Center for Trauma and the Community (CTC) The development, use, and psychometric properties of the Trauma History Questionnaire. (full […]

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Online autism tests can play an important role in your journey of self-discovery, and may inform your decision to pursue a formal diagnosis

For a formal assessment, please see a knowledgeable professional who is qualified
to assess autism, such as Dr. Engelbrecht ND RP

Do you think you might be autistic? Try any
(or several) of the autism tests for adults below!

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Do you think you might be autistic? Have a look at the various autism tests and other psychometric tests (empathy, alexithymia, stimming, camouflaging, etc.) we compiled for you!

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parkrun is a free, community event where you can walk, jog, run, volunteer or spectate. parkrun is 5k and takes place every Saturday morning. junior parkrun is 2k, dedicated to 4-14 year olds and their families, every Sunday morning. parkrun is positive, welcoming and inclusive, there is no time limit and no one finishes last.

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A ‘silent epidemic’ of family estrangement is on the rise – even if your parents are not Beckhams

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A ‘silent epidemic’ of family estrangement is on the rise – even if your parents are not Beckhams

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As the Beckhams continue their high-profile meltdown, experts say cutting ties with family members is becoming more common, and more visible

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The Living Loss: Family Estrangement & Stages Of Grief

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Over the years of working in the field as a specialist in family estrangement, I have talked to thousands of people in support groups, research projects and in my personal coaching practice who are processing the grief they feel. Many describe family estrangement as a form of ‘living loss’ and the stages of pain and healing with estrangement are not dissimilar to those of when someone passes. More research would be useful in this area too, which would help people with a more open process of what

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Stand Alone offers support services to prevent estranged adults becoming vulnerable. We talk openly about the experience of family estrangement to help others lead lives that are less isolated.

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Family Estrangement: Advice and Information for Adult Children - Stand Alone

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Family difficulties can often leave members in a position where they are unable to communicate. Some of these rifts develop over long periods of time, whilst other family relationships can change suddenly and unexpectedly. It's possible tensions can be exacerbated by an important life event, or that ongoing family difficulties have a 'knock-on' effect on your relationship [...]

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Tania Khazaal - Family Estrangement and Healing Expert

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Tania Khazaal - Family Estrangement and Healing Expert

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Tania Khazaal, Family Estrangement & Emotional Healing Expert

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Rebuild trust and restore peace within your family. Learn how to heal emotional distance and create lasting connection through compassion, clarity, and faith.

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Coaching that helps your child understand their brain & thrive with confidence

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ADHD and Autism Coaching to build confidence, understand how their brain works and get the best from it.

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Article by Nicola Stewart MBACP (accred)

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Article by Nicola Stewart MBACP (accred)

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The Age of Estrangement | nicolastewart.org.uk

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Often popular culture reflects the collective unconscious. Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist, psychotherapist and psychologist who founded the school of analytical psychology, believed that beneath our individual experiences lies a vast shared reservoir of memory, symbol and instinct that he called the collective unconscious. This is a deeper psychological field that holds the archetypal patterns of humanity itself: the universal images of the mother, the hero, the shadow, the child, the trickster, as some examples.

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Published on 7th June 2024, global publisher Routledge released Karl's first book Navigating Family Estrangement: Helping Adults Understand and Manage the Challenges of Family Estrangement. Karl wrote this in an effort to offer nuanced guidance to not just professionals who work with estrangement, but also those who are personally struggling with this complex and painful situation.

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Published on 7th June 2024, global publisher Routledge released Karl's first book Navigating Family Estrangement: Helping Adults Understand and Manage the Challenges of Family Estrangement. Karl wrote this in an effort to offer nuanced guidance to not just professionals who work with estrangement, but also those who are personally struggling with this complex and painful situation.

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Child with no contact with birth father due to addiction, alcoholism or abuse

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Supporting conversations with children who are asking about their origins

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Gingerbread Charity - fighting to create a world where all single parents and their children thrive.

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Separated parents and blended families blog | Gingerbread

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We are fighting to create a society where all single parents and their children thrive. We challenge. We support. We connect.

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Learn about life story work – what it is, when to consider it, techniques to carry it out (and get support), as well as how it can help kinship children build a positive self-image.

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What is life story work? And how can it help children in kinship care? Find out in this practical guide for kinship carers.

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Mary Hoffman (Author), Ros Asquith (Illustrator)

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Buy The Great Big Book of Families by Hoffman, Mary, Asquith, Ros (ISBN: 9781847805874) from Amazon’s Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

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Felicity Brooks (Author), Mar Ferrero (Illustrator)

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Buy All About Families (My First Book) International Edition by Felicity Brooks, Mar Ferrero (ISBN: 9781474949071) from Amazon’s Book Store. Everyday low prices and free delivery on eligible orders.

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How to use a sand tray | Article | Therapist Aid

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Sand tray therapy involves using a sand tray and small objects to create a story in the sand. Learn how to use this engaging, creative technique with clients of all ages.

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Ashdown Forest or Wilderness Woods, Hadlow Down

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Hattie Nichols Counselling | Counsellor in Uckfield, Lewes & Surrounding areas | Indoor, outdoor & online

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Counselling in Uckfield, East Sussex I Counselling in Lewes, East Sussex I Online counselling across the UK I Walk and Talk in surrounding woodland areas of East Sussex | Outdoor Therapy I Women’s Counsellor @ Counsellor for mums

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Ashdown Forest, East Sussex

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Book a Walk & Talk therapy session and enjoy your counselling in beautiful woodland in Crowborough. Nature connection is so good for wellbeing.

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Ashdown Forest, East Sussex

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Free online sand tray for child and adolescent therapists to use for gestalt play therapy, Violet Oaklander, Jungian and other therapeutic methods

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Free online dollhouse for child and adolescent therapists to use for gestalt play therapy, Violet Oaklander and other therapeutic methods

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Touch Pianist is a musical toy / instrument that allows the user to perform hard-to-play classical piano music favorites (from composers like Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Satie, Debussy to name a few) just by tapping the rhythm of the piece's particular sound events on a computer keyboard or a touch screen.

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Thisissand is a unique playground for creating and sharing amazing sandscapes on your computer or mobile device. Start pouring away to experience this special sand piling on your screen!

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The How We Feel Project is a non-profit working to help everyone better understand their own emotions.

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Track your emotions and understand your patterns with our comprehensive mood tracking app

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Finch is a popular self-care and habit-tracking app that uses a virtual pet (a finch) to motivate users, making it particularly effective for individuals with ADHD by gamifying daily tasks like drinking water, journaling, or exercise into fun challenges with rewards

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Parent support for those with children managing poor mental health. Eastbourne  

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Parent support for those with children managing poor mental health. Eastbourne  

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We offer parent/ carer peer support to families whose children are struggling with their mental health. We provide a safe space for you to come together, connect, chat and know that you are not alone.
Get Support

We are a registered charity offering parent/ carer peer support. A safe, non- judgemental space where you can connect with others on a similar journey; chat, share and be supported along your journey. We are a team of parents with lived experience and wish we had somewhere we could have turned to when we needed it. We understand. Most importantly we want you to know that you are not alone.

Get involved with Holding Space

As a small charity, run by volunteers, we are always looking for people to support our cause. Whether that's through volunteering, fundraising, sponsorship, or business support; please get in touch with us if you can help in any way.

Help us to make a difference to children's and young people's lives.

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Holding Space: Family Mental Health Support in East Sussex

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We support parents, carers, children and young people who are struggling with their mental health. Know that you are not alone.

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East Sussex - Mental health carer support 

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East Sussex - Mental health carer support 

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Skip to main content Skip to accessibility tools Here is some information about what is available to support you in your caring role. If you are caring for someone and need urgent help, please look at our urgent help pages. Caring for others can be really rewarding, especially when it's someone we love.

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In a mental health crisis | Live Well Kent

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If you are experiencing a mental health crisis and feel unable to keep yourself safe or in emotional distress and need urgent support, you can contact these services at any time of the day or night.

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How to support someone with a mental health problem

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How to support someone with a mental health problem

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Support from the Mental Health Foundation

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How do I know if someone has a mental health problem?

Sometimes it will seem obvious when someone is going through a hard time, but there is no simple way of knowing if they have a mental health problem. Sometimes you don't need to know. It's more important to respond sensitively to someone who seems troubled than to find out whether or not they have a diagnosis.

Although certain symptoms are common with specific mental health problems, no two people behave the same way when unwell. You may notice changes in their behaviour or mood if you know the person well.

Our A-Z of mental health provides information on various mental health problems.

How can I help?

There are many ways you can help a friend, relative or colleague who has a mental health problem:

Talking about mental health

It can be challenging to know what to do if you are worried about someone. When you know there is an issue, it is essential not to wait. Waiting and hoping they will come to you for help might lose valuable time getting them support.

Talking to someone is often the first step when you know they are having a hard time. This way, you can find out what is troubling them and what you can do to help.

Eight tips for talking about mental health

1. Set time aside with no distractions

It is important to provide an open and non-judgemental space with no distractions.

2. Let them share as much or as little as they want to

Let them lead the discussion at their own pace. Don't pressure them to tell you anything they aren't ready to talk about. Talking can take a lot of trust and courage. You might be the first person they have been able to talk to about this.

3. Don't try to diagnose or second guess their feelings

You probably aren't a medical expert, and while you may be happy to talk and offer support, you aren't a trained counsellor. Try not to make assumptions about what is wrong or jump in too quickly with your own diagnosis or solutions.

4. Keep questions open ended

Say, "Why don't you tell me how you are feeling?" rather than "I can see you are feeling very low". Try to keep your language neutral. Give the person time to answer and try not to grill them with too many questions.

5. Talk about self-care

Discuss ways of de-stressing or practising self-care and ask if they find anything helpful. Exercising, having a healthy diet and getting a good night's sleep can help protect mental health and sustain wellbeing.

6. Listen carefully to what they tell you

Repeat what they have said back to them to ensure you have understood it. You don't have to agree with what they are saying, but by showing you understand how they feel, you are letting them know you respect their feelings.

7. Offer them help in seeking professional support and provide information on ways to do this

You might want to offer to go to the GP with them or help them talk to a friend or family member. Try not to take control and allow them to make decisions.

8. Know your limits

You will have your own limits on the support that you can provide. And it's important to take care of yourself too. Give yourself time to rest and process what they have told you or what's happened. Try to help them create a support network of other friends, relatives and mental health professionals who can help them too.

Remember that If you believe they are in immediate danger or have injuries that need medical attention, you must take urgent action to ensure they are safe. More details on dealing in a crisis can be found below.

If it is a family member or close friend you are concerned about, they might not want to talk to you. Try not to take this personally: talking to someone you love can be difficult as they might be worried they are hurting you. It is important to keep being open and honest and telling them that you care. It may also be helpful to give them information about organisations or people they can reach out to. A list can be found below.

How do I respond in a crisis?

People with mental health problems sometimes experience a crisis, such as feeling suicidal or experiencing their own or a different reality.

You may also feel a sense of crisis, but staying calm is important.

There are some general strategies that you can use to help:

Listen without making judgements and concentrate on their needs at that moment

Ask them what would help them

Reassure and signpost to practical information or resources.

Avoid confrontation

Ask if there is someone they would like you to contact

Encourage them to seek appropriate professional help

If they have hurt themselves, make sure they get the first aid they need

Seeing, hearing or believing things that no one else does can be the symptom of a mental health problem. It can be frightening and upsetting. Gently remind the person who you are and why you are there. Don't reinforce or dismiss their experiences; acknowledge how the symptoms make them feel.

How do I respond if someone is suicidal?

If someone tells you they are feeling suicidal or can't go on, it is very important to encourage them to get help. You or they should contact a GP or NHS 111. They can also contact the Samaritans immediately by calling 116 123 (UK) for free anytime. They could also get help from their friends, family, or mental health services.

You can ask how they feel and let them know you are available to listen. Talking can be a great help to someone who is feeling suicidal, but it may be distressing for you. You need to talk to someone about your feelings; the Samaritans can help you.

If they are planning to take their own life, please encourage them to call 999 (UK) or go to A&E and ask for the contact of the nearest crisis resolution team. These are teams of mental health care professionals who work with people in severe distress.

Useful organisations and resources

The first person to approach is your family doctor. they should be able to advise about treatment and may refer you to another local professional. See our guide on How to talk to your GP about your mental health.

Specialist mental health services

Several specialist services provide various treatments, including counselling and other talking treatments. Often these different services are coordinated by a community mental health team (CMHT), which is usually based either at a hospital or a local community mental health centre. Some teams provide 24-hour services so that you can contact them in a crisis. You should be able to contact your local CMHT through your local social services or social work team.

Samaritans

The Samaritans offer emotional support 24 hours a day, in full confidence. Call 116 123 or email .

Mind Infoline

Mind provides information on a range of mental health topics to support people in their own area from 9.00 am to 6.00 pm, Monday to Friday. Call 0300 123 3393 or email .

Rethink Advice and Information Service

Rethink provide specific solution-based guidance: 0300 5000 927 E-mail: .

Anxiety

Anxiety UK runs a helpline staffed by volunteers with personal experience of anxiety from 9:30-5:30, Monday to Friday. Call 08444 775 774.

Citizens Advice

Citizens Advice provides free, independent, confidential advice for various problems and information on your rights and responsibilities.

Step Change

StepChange provides help and information for people dealing with various debt problems. Freephone (including from mobiles) 0800 138 1111 or visit the website on www.stepchange.org.

MindEd

MindEd is a free educational resource on children and young people's mental health for all adults.

If you are feeling like ending your life or feel unable to keep yourself safe, please call 999 or go to A&E and ask for the contact of the nearest crisis resolution team. These are teams of mental health care professionals who work with people in severe distress. If you feel affected by the content you have read, please see our get help page for support.

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How to support someone with a mental health problem

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We all go through tough times and people help us through them. Other times we have been worried about other people's mental health.

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Supporting someone living with mental illness while they are going through a crisis can feel difficult and often overwhelming. This section has information to help you in a crisis.

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Advice & Information Service

Our advice and information service offers practical help on a wide range of topics such as The Mental Health Act, community care, welfare benefits, and carers rights.

Find out more Advice & Information Service

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Advice for carers: your rights, confidentiality and sources of support.

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Our advice and information service offers practical help on a wide range of topics such as The Mental Health Act, community care, welfare benefits, and carers rights. Find out more Advice & Information Service

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Supporting a loved one in mental health crisis

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Supporting a loved one in mental health crisis

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Helping someone with a mental health problem

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If your friend or family member experiences a mental health problem, we have advice on how you can support them. We also have tips on looking after yourself.

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Family Matters provides free and confidential support to survivors of sexual abuse and rape in Kent and the London Borough of Bexley. Our services are open to everyone, regardless of age, gender, race, or background.

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Family Matters - Care and support for those afraid to talk

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Counselling service based in Kent for children and adult survivors of sexual abuse and rape. Call now for a confidential chat on 01474 536661

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My specialist area is the impact of sexual abuse and rape for both males and females of any age.  I am a qualified ‘Independent Sexual Violence Advisor’ which means I provided support for both adults and children from report to court and through the criminal justice system.

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Dolores Fernandez - Adult & Child - CBT & Counselling Kent UK

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Dolores Fernandez Counselling Gravesend. Part of one of the largest, most trusted CBT and Counselling providers in Kent. Book Now

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I work with problems such as bullying both face to face and online. Anxiety, anger and depression. Along with help for issues with peer or family relationships. Experienced with neurodivergence. Sexual abuse and sexual violence specialism.

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Dolores Fernandez - Adult & Child - CBT & Counselling Kent UK

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Dolores Fernandez Counselling Gravesend. Part of one of the largest, most trusted CBT and Counselling providers in Kent. Book Now

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Carrie Bartlett, Crowborough, East Sussex

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Carrie Bartlett, Crowborough, East Sussex

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psychotherapist, specialising in work with children and adolescents.

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Carrie Bartlett, Psychotherapist, Crowborough, TN6 | Psychology Today

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Carrie Bartlett, Psychotherapist, Crowborough, TN6, 01892 571318, Sometimes strong emotions such as anger, sadness and anxiety can leave children feeling overwhelmed. This can lead them to become withdrawn, have difficulties at school and in friendships, or show their feelings in behaviours which are unhelpful. Psychotherapy can help your child to put their feelings into words and help them to express themselves in a different way. They will have access to a confidential space in which they can explore what is causing their distress and, by understanding themselves better, they can have better relationships with their family and friends and begin to build their confidence.

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New school in Forest Row, East Sussex opening 2026

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Ashdown Garden School | Ruskin Mill Trust

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Half day stained glass workshop, recommended for those who have some minimal experience. Tuition, equipment and materials provided.

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💬 17 🔁 4116 ❤️ 10127 · Part 3 of the Rejection sensitivity series! There is a lot to consider when exploring why I react the way I do to criticism (or, why I always see criticism everywhere). But...

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Worksheets to notice, name and tame feelings for children.

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‘Name it to tame it’ includes activities to help children recognise, name, understand and manage their emotions. And to help them see feelings as simply feelings - not ‘good’ or ‘bad’ - just feelings. It’s how we manage feeling like anger or fear that’s important.

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Navigating ADHD and PMDD: Understanding the Complex Interplay

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Did you know that premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) affects 46% of people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)? But what’s the connection?

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Home Ed classes at The Amelia, Tun Wells, Kent 

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Home Ed classes at The Amelia, Tun Wells, Kent 

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Join The Amelia for their monthly learning sessions open to home educated young people across the borough.

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Brene Brown talks about shame, fear and power 

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Brene Brown talks about shame, fear and power 

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Brené Brown is a world renowned research professor, she talks to Steven Bartlett, Diary of a CEO podcaster about family roles and relationships.

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Brené Brown: We’re In A Spiritual Crisis! The Hidden Epidemic No One Wants To Admit!

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The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett · Episode

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PaintnGo Tunbridge Wells | All Age, All Ability Large Wall Painting

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Unleash your inner artist on a massive wall canvas. Paint and Go offers a unique, all-ability creative art experience in Tunbridge Wells.

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You can download a FREE PDF file to print and make your own cards to use with clients in the therapy room.

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In families we can often unconsciously act out roles to fit within the family structure. Learning about these roles can free us from the negative aspects of these adaptive behaviours - learn more about yours here.

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For 30 years, we’ve been here to help you cope with the loss of a pet, either through death, enforced separation or theft. With a free and confidential helpline, webchat, email and Facebook group, you can find support when and where you need it.

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If you are grieving for a pet, or facing loss, our free and confidential Pet Loss Support service is here for you by phone, email or webchat.

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Learn more about the healing power of stories.

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Learn how therapeutic stories can support you in your own self-awareness and personal growth. Nicky offers an insight into the power of metaphor and story in her own approach.

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123 Walks

One, two and three mile nature walk maps in East Sussex

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Arlington Reservoir 1.9m Ashdown Forest – Gills Lap 1.6m Blackboys – Kiln Wood 1.9m Chiddingly & Muddles Green 2.4m Cross in Hand – Darch’s Wood 1.5m Crowborough Country Park …