# data[].attributes.headline
How surrounding yourself with the people you love can make you happy.

# data[].attributes.subject
How surrounding yourself with the people you love can make you happy.

# data[].attributes.body
And how isolation can make you unhappy

# data[].attributes.body
I've always believed that people have a huge affect on their friends and family because they almost become each other. Being with someone who makes you laugh and cheers you up when you're sad is a type of person someone always wants to stick with because that person makes them happy. Being with others you love can cause happiness. A lot of people, though, when they are sad tend to isolate themselves which can actually end up making things worse than they were before because they have no one to talk to about how they're feeling or why they're sad.

# data[].attributes.body
Just even thinking about it. Put yourself in a situation where you're walking down somewhere like a hallway or you're sitting in your room alone. Put yourself into this gif, put yourself in the last situation you were in where you were isolated from everyone. Most of the time people get a sinking feeling in their heart, maybe even some paranoia and terror knowing no one is around.

# data[].attributes.body
Put yourself in another situation, the last time you hung out with friends, hanging out with your best friend, just laughing and joking around. It gives you better feelings than the last imagine. Warm and happy feelings because you're with your friends.

# data[].attributes.body
This talks about a few reasons why friendships can make us so happy. One example had to do with the fact that they can relieve the stress of your day just by talking to you. Another good one talked about how they don't even have to be your best friend to make you happy, a co-worker or acquaintance can have the same affects.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
6 Scientific Reasons Why Your Friends Really Do Make You Happier

# data[].attributes.body
This article talks about how social isolation can actually lead to depression, suicide, premature death, and other mental health issues.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Illustration by Robert Neubecker

Over the winter I moved from New York City to Portland, Ore. The reasons for my move were purely logical. New York was expensive and stressful. Portland, I reasoned, would offer me the space and time to do my work.

Upon arriving, I rented a house and happily went out in search of "my people." I went to parks, bookstores, bars, on dates. I even tried golfing. It wasn't that I didn't meet people. I did. I just felt no connection to any of them.

Once social and upbeat, I became morose and mildly paranoid. I knew I needed to connect to people to feel better, but I felt as though I physically could not handle any more empty interactions. I woke up in the night panicked. In the afternoon, loneliness came in waves like a fever. I had no idea how to fix it.

Feeling uncertain, I began to research loneliness and came across several alarming recent studies. Loneliness is not just making us sick, it is killing us. Loneliness is a serious health risk. Studies of elderly people and social isolation concluded that those without adequate social interaction were twice as likely to die prematurely.

The increased mortality risk is comparable to that from smoking. And loneliness is about twice as dangerous as obesity.

Social isolation impairs immune function and boosts inflammation, which can lead to arthritis, type II diabetes, and heart disease. Loneliness is breaking our hearts, but as a culture we rarely talk about it.

Loneliness has doubled: 40 percent of adults in two recent surveys said they were lonely, up from 20 percent in the 1980s.

All of our Internet interactions aren't helping and may be making loneliness worse. A recent study of Facebook users found that the amount of time you spend on the social network is inversely related to how happy you feel throughout the day.

In a society that judges you based on how expansive your social networks appear, loneliness is difficult to fess up to. It feels shameful.

About a decade ago, my mom was going through a divorce from my step-father. Lonely and desperate for connection, she called a cousin she hadn't talked to in several years. On the phone, her cousin was derisive: "Don't you have any friends?"

While dealing with my own loneliness in Portland I often found myself thinking, "If I were a better person I wouldn't be lonely."

"Admitting you are lonely is like holding a big L up on your forehead," says John T. Cacioppo of the University of Chicago, who studies how loneliness and social isolation affect people's health.

He admitted that on an airplane he once became acutely embarrassed while holding a copy of his own book, which had the word Loneliness emblazoned on the front cover. He had the impulse to turn the cover inside-out so that people couldn't see it. "For the first time I actually experienced the feeling of being lonely and everyone knowing it," he says.

After the public learned of Stephen Fry's suicide attempt last year, the beloved British actor wrote a blog post about his fight with depression. He cited loneliness as the worst part of his affliction.

"Lonely? I get invitation cards through the post almost every day. I shall be in the Royal Box at Wimbledon and I have serious and generous offers from friends asking me to join them in the South of France, Italy, Sicily, South Africa, British Columbia, and America this summer. I have two months to start a book before I go off to Broadway for a run of Twelfth Night there.

I can read back that last sentence and see that, bipolar or not, if I'm under treatment and not actually depressed, what the fuck right do I have to be lonely, unhappy, or forlorn? I don't have the right. But there again I don't have the right not to have those feelings. Feelings are not something to which one does or does not have rights.

In the end loneliness is the most terrible and contradictory of my problems."

Most of us know what it is like to be lonely in a room full of people, which is the same reason even a celebrity can be deeply lonely. You could be surrounded by hundreds of adoring fans, but if there is no one you can rely on, no one who knows you, you will feel isolated.

In terms of human interactions, the number of people we know is not the best measure. In order to be socially satisfied, we don't need all that many people. According to Cacioppo the key is in the quality, not the quantity of those people. We just need several on whom we can depend and who depend on us in return.

As a culture we obsess over strategies to prevent obesity. We provide resources to help people quit smoking. But I have never had a doctor ask me how much meaningful social interaction I am getting. Even if a doctor did ask, it is not as though there is a prescription for meaningful social interaction.

Both Denmark and Great Britain are devoting more time and energy to finding solutions and staging interventions for lonely people, particularly the elderly.

When we are lonely, we lose impulse control and engage in what scientists call "social evasion." We become less concerned with interactions and more concerned with self-preservation, as I was when I couldn't even imagine trying to talk to another human. Evolutionary psychologists speculate that loneliness triggers our basic, fight vs. flight survival mechanisms, and we stick to the periphery, away from people we do not know if we can trust.

In one study, Cacioppo measured brain activity during the sleep of lonely and nonlonely people. Those who were lonely were far more prone to micro awakenings, which suggest the brain is on alert for threats throughout the night, perhaps just as earlier humans would have needed to be when separated from their tribe.

One of the reasons we avoid discussing loneliness is that fixing it obviously isn't a simple endeavor.

Even though the Internet has possibly contributed to our isolation, it might hold a key to fixing it. Cacioppo is excited by online dating statistics showing that couples who found each other online and stayed together shared more of a connection and were less likely to divorce than couples who met offline. If these statistics hold up, it would stand to reason friendships could also be found in this way, easing those whose instincts tell them to stay on the periphery back into the world with common bonds forged over the Internet.

Me? I moved back to New York.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Over the winter I moved from New York City to Portland, Ore. The reasons for my move were purely logical. New York was expensive and stressful. Portland, I reasoned, would offer me the space and time to do my work. Upon arriving, I rented a house and happily went out in search of "my people."

# data[].attributes.body
Going off of the question of "if this can make me happy now, can it continue to make me happy?" I would believe the answer is yes because throughout the years of your life you meet more and more people whether it's a co-worker, classmate, even a barista it could turn out to become a friendship and that person can make you happy. It's also not like you can only have one friend, you have many, so if one does leave or part off from you there are others to support you. If there aren't then you have a family to fall back onto for support.

# data[].attributes.body
In this video a man stays at home alone for a week with no phone, no friends, and no family. One of the main things I would like to point out here that I haven't before is phones. People could be completely alone with a phone and still be happy with it because you can contact people through your phone. It's like when you go somewhere and you have no wifi or service, you get a little nervous and anxious when knowing you have no way of contacting anyone through your phone.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
This site uses cookies. By continuing, your consent is assumed. Learn more

To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video

Could you go a week without seeing anyone? This is a reality for over half a million older people in the UK.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Could you go a week without seeing anyone? This is a reality for over half a million older people in the UK.

# data[].attributes.body
Gatsby was unhappy without Daisy with him, because he loved her and he wanted to be around her. Just being with her made him happy, when he was alone he was sad or nervous.

# data[].attributes.body
Happy is an amazing feeling that everyone feels. It is a warm feeling that you get when someone makes a silly joke. Happy is laughing, smiling, giggling, and having fun with your family/friends. Happy is a pure feeling. One of those emotions where if you're in a situation and you're happy, your brain would automatically remember it.

# data[].attributes.body
Talks about how Harvard studies show that having friendships is actually essential for people and how one friendship can lead to many more. I agree to this because it can be super essential for everyone to have friends and family to support you and be there for you. Family and friends can be major stress relievers, and they can make you laugh. Overall leading to a better quality of life.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Friends can challenge us, confuse us, and sometimes, we might wonder why we bother. But friendship is as important to our wellbeing as eating right and exercising. What's more, friendships help us grow through each year of our lives.

The friends we meet in school teach us how to be patient, wait our turn, reach out, and try new hobbies. When we move into young adulthood we learn more about taking responsibility, finding a career path, and seeking out people as mentors.

As we continue into our 40s and beyond, we learn to weather the ups and downs in life, and once again friends provide a sounding board and place for us to grow. Friendship is key to our success with all our relationships and it can create a sense of purpose in our lives.

Friends Help Us Interact With Just About Everyone

The people we bring into our lives as friends will show us how to forgive, laugh, and make conversation. The basic components of any relationship, from our marriage to our coworkers, are all founded in friendship. We learn how to interact with people because of our friends, even the ones that are opposite from us or share a different worldview.

We don't just talk with others but learn from them. We understand the process of meeting new acquaintances and finding out what makes them tick. These people help push us out of our comfort zones while still providing a safe emotional space for us to be totally ourselves.

Friends Keep Us Mentally and Physically Strong

One of the most overlooked benefits of friendship is that it helps keep our minds and bodies strong. In fact, it's as important to our physical health as eating well and keeping fit. A recent Harvard study concluded that having solid friendships in our life even helps promote brain health.

Friends helps us deal with stress, make better lifestyle choices that keep us strong, and allow us to rebound from health issues and disease more quickly.

Friendship is equally important to our mental health. One study even suggested spending time with positive friends actually changes our outlook for the better. That means we're happier when we choose to spend time with happy people. (All the more reason to leave that toxic friendship behind.)

Friends Help Us Weather Lonely Times

Friends don't completely cure loneliness (that's a common myth) but they do help us during lonely times. We learn how to accept kindness and also to reach out when we need help. Those painful times when we might be without friends also help us to appreciate the friendships that come in and out of our lives.

Having a steady stream of friends lets us know that some friendships won't last forever but each one brings something special. We learn more about ourselves and how important it is to have someone, just one person, who knows and understands you. This is the key to coming out of loneliness.

Friends Improve the Quality of Our Lives

Friends can change our value system so we learn to inject more meaning into our lives.

In spending time with friends, we fill up our lives with great conversation, heartfelt caring and support, and laugh out loud fun. When we fall on hard times, friends are there to put things in perspective and help us. When we have success, they're smiling at our good fortune. With down-to-earth, positive people in our life we will be more mindful of gratitude and doing nice things for others. We don't just live when we have healthy friendships, we thrive.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Friends can challenge us, confuse us, and sometimes, we might wonder why we bother. But friendship is as important to our wellbeing as eating right and exercising. What's more, friendships help us grow through each year of our lives. The friends we meet in school teach us how to be patient, wait our turn, reach out, and try new hobbies.

# data[].attributes.headline
How to tell if someone is actually happy

# data[].attributes.subject
How to tell if someone is actually happy

# data[].attributes.body
Another question pops up of "How do we tell someone is actually happy?" Through my own experiences and friends there's a lot of ways to tell if someone is faking it or being real. One of the biggest is to see if the person is isolating themselves from others. People isolate themselves from others so they don't make the other people sad. If a person is actually happy you will see them smiling, laughing, talking with others, cracking jokes, etc. If they are faking it you may see isolation, lack of eye contact, quiet, maybe even gone from work/school for a day, excuses of "I'm just sick" "i'm just tired".

# data[].attributes.headline
Vacation in isolation, personal experience.

# data[].attributes.subject
Vacation in isolation, personal experience.

# data[].attributes.body
A couple years back I went up to Wisconsin for vacation and we were put in a cabin in which you had to drive through the forest for about an hour. By the time we got there it was pitch black, there were no house or street lights anywhere just our phone flashlights. It was pretty creepy once we got into the house, we couldn't see anything but trees and a cliff that leads straight down into water. I was the first one to get in the house because the rest of my family was getting our bags. When I got in there were no lights on, all the doors throughout the house were open (You couldn't see anything in the doorways), and I checked my phone only to realize there was no service. In that moment I felt almost complete isolation and fear. Once my family was up there with me I was comfortable again. Isolation and knowing that you're isolated makes people uncomfortable and fearful, further proving why having friends and family with you makes you less anxious/depressed.

# data[].attributes.body
Isolation vs Friendship