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Use BBC Bitesize to help with your homework, revision and learning from KS1 to GCSE. Find free videos, step-by-step guides, activities and quizzes.

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VISUAL STORY ABOUT STAYING SAFE FROM CORONAVIRUS_Very Special Tales

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EEF supporting daily routines during school closures

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I'm a dad of a son with nonverbal autism. I show what being an autism dad is really like, the good & the bad, the pee & the poop.

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Finding Cooper's Voice | Welcome to the Secret World of Autism

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Home - Finding Cooper's Voice | Welcome to the Secret World of Autism

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Now Available: Forever Boy With her popular blog, Finding Cooper's Voice, Kate Swenson has provided hope and comfort for hundreds of thousands of parents of children with Autism. Now, Kate shares her inspiring story in Forever Boy, a powerful memoir about motherhood and unconditional love.

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My goal with The Autism Dad blog is to educate people and help them better understand what life can be like for families with a special needs child (or in my case, three children). I share this story from the perspective of a Dad, in a very honest and transparent way, even if it doesn’t paint me in

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About ADHD: Blog Articles on the latest news, reviews and information for parents and carers of ADHD kids.

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Parenting a Child with Autism Spectrum Disorder | The Mom Kind

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Parenting a Child with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Help your child to overcome the overwhelmed of circumstances and behave positively.

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I sat in the child psychologist's office telling her about my six-year-old son who has autism.

This was our first meeting to see if we would be a good fit to work together toward an evaluation and formal diagnosis, so my son wasn't present.

My partner and I told her about our choice of home-schooling and how we've never used punishment as a form of discipline.

As the meeting continued, her brows became hawklike.

I could see the judgment in her expression when she began a monologue about how I needed to force my son to go to school, force him into situations that make him extremely uncomfortable, and force him to socialize regardless of how he feels about it.

Force, force, force.

I felt like she wanted to stuff his behaviors into a box, then sit on top of it.

In reality, each and every child with autism is so unique and different from what society deems typical. You could never fit their beauty and quirkiness into a box.

We declined her services and found a better fit for our family - for our son.

I've learned from experience that trying to force independence is counterintuitive, whether or not your child has autism.

When we push a child, especially one prone to anxiety and rigidity, their natural instinct is to dig their heels in and hold on tighter.

When we force a child to face their fears, and I mean screaming-on-the-floor petrified, like Whitney Ellenby, the mother who wanted her son with autism to see Elmo, we aren't actually helping them.

If I was forced into a room full of spiders, I would probably be able to detach from my brain at some point to cope after about 40 hours of screaming. That doesn't mean I had some kind of breakthrough or success in facing my fears.

I also assume I'd store those traumas and they'd invariably be triggered later in my life.

Of course, pushing independence isn't always as extreme as the Elmo scenario or a room full of spiders. All of this pushing falls on a spectrum ranging from encouraging a hesitant child (this is great and should have no strings attached to the outcome - Let them say no!) to physically forcing them into a scenario that has their brain screaming danger.

When we let our children get comfortable at their own pace and they finally take that step of their own volition, true confidence and security grows.

That said, I understand where the Elmo mom was coming from. We know our kids would enjoy whatever activity if they would just try it.

We want them to feel joy. We want them to be brave and full of confidence. We want them to "fit in" because we know what rejection feels like.

And sometimes we're just too damn tired to be patient and empathetic.

But force isn't the way to achieve joy, confidence - or calm.

When our child has a meltdown, parents often want to stop the tears because it hurts our hearts that our kids are struggling. Or we're running low on patience and just want peace and quiet.

Many times, we're coping with the fifth or sixth meltdown that morning over seemingly simple things like the tag in their shirt being too itchy, their sister talking too loudly, or a change in plans.

Children with autism aren't crying, wailing, or flailing to get at us somehow.

They're crying because it's what their bodies need to do in that moment to release tension and emotion from feeling overwhelmed with emotions or sensory stimulations.

Their brains are wired differently and so it's how they interact with the world. That's something we have to come to terms with as parents so we can support them in the best way.

So how can we effectively support our children through these often loud and thrashing meltdowns?

1. Be empathetic

Empathy means listening and acknowledging their struggle without judgment.

Expressing emotions in a healthy way - whether through tears, wailing, playing, or journaling - is good for all people, even if these emotions feel overwhelming in their magnitude.

Our job is to gently guide our kids and give them the tools to express themselves in a way that doesn't hurt their body or others.

When we empathize with our kids and validate their experience, they feel heard.

Everyone wants to feel heard, especially a person who frequently feels misunderstood and a little out of step with others.

2. Make them feel safe and loved

Sometimes our children are so lost in their emotions that they can't hear us. In these situations, all we need to do is simply sit with or be near them.

Many times, we try to talk them down from their panic, but it's often a waste of breath when a child is in the throes of a meltdown.

What we can do is let them know that they're safe and loved. We do this by staying as near to them as they're comfortable with.

I've lost track of the times that I've witnessed a crying child be told that they can only come out of a secluded space once they stop melting down.

This can send the message to the child that they don't deserve to be around the people that love them when they're having a hard time. Obviously, this isn't our intended message to our kids.

So, we can show them we're there for them by staying close.

3. Eliminate punishments

Punishments can make children feel shame, anxiety, fear, and resentment.

A kid with autism can't control their meltdowns, so they shouldn't be punished for them.

Instead, they should be allowed the space and freedom to cry loudly with a parent there, letting them know they're supported.

4. Focus on your child, not staring bystanders

Meltdowns for any child can get noisy, but they tend to go to a whole other level of loud when it's a child with autism.

These outbursts can feel embarrassing to parents when we're in public and everyone is staring at us.

We feel the judgment from some saying, "I'd never let my kid act like that."

Or worse, we feel like our deepest fears are validated: People think we're failing at this whole parenting thing.

Next time you find yourself in this public display of chaos, ignore the judgmental looks, and quiet down that fearful inner voice saying you're not enough. Remember that the person who is struggling and needs your support the most is your child.

5. Break out your sensory toolkit

Keep a few sensory tools or toys in your car or bag. You can offer these to your kid when their mind is overwhelmed.

Kids have different favorites, but some common sensory tools include weighted lap pads, noise-cancelling headphones, sunglasses, and fidget toys.

Don't force these on your child when they're melting down, but if they choose to use them, these products can often help them calm down.

6. Teach them coping strategies once they're calm

There isn't much we can do during a meltdown as far as trying to teach our children coping tools, but when they're in a peaceful and rested frame of mind, we can definitely work on emotional regulation together.

My son responds really well to nature walks, practicing yoga daily (his favorite is Cosmic Kids Yoga), and deep breathing.

These coping strategies will help them calm down - perhaps before a meltdown - even when you aren't around.

Empathy is at the heart of all of these steps to dealing with an autistic meltdown.

When we look at our child's behavior as a form of communication, it helps us view them as struggling instead of being defiant.

By focusing on the root cause of their actions, parents will realize that kids with autism might be saying: "My stomach hurts, but I can't understand what my body is telling me; I'm sad because kids won't play with me; I need more stimulation; I need less stimulation; I need to know that I'm safe and that you'll help me through this torrential downpour of emotions because it scares me too."

The word defiance can drop from our meltdown vocabulary entirely, replaced by empathy and compassion. And by showing our children compassion, we can more effectively support them through their meltdowns.
Sam Milam is a freelance writer, photographer, social justice advocate, and mother of two. When she isn't working, you might find her at one of the many cannabis events in the Pacific Northwest, at a yoga studio, or exploring coastlines and waterfalls with her kids. She's been published with The Washington Post, Success Magazine, Marie Claire AU, and many others. Visit her on or her .

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When My Son With Autism Melts Down, Here's What I Do

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When your child has autism, meltdowns can leave you feeling helpless or impatient. But trying to force your child to act a certain way will only make things worse. Here are six steps to help you take an empathetic and supportive approach to handling a meltdown and understanding why they happen in the first place.

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Autism Journey Blog, for parents of children with an autism spectrum disorder. Stories and experiences with ASD, quality information, resources and more

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Mum parenting children with autism, ADHD, anxiety, dyspraxia and more who writes her thoughts and provides information to share with others.

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It's official - I'm a bad listener. In the white-hot energy of an introductory conversation, I will not ask you questions. I won't inquire about your work, your family, the ages of your children. I know which questions should be asked. They press on my chest, tug at my sleeve, get stuck on my tongue....

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Experiences of living with our awesome son, Jude. | Living with a Jude

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Didn't we just get through the holidays? I could swear I just got all the holiday decorations packed up and put back in the garage. Of course, as fast as I work, that's not a very good indicator of how much time has actually passed since the last go-round of holiday hullabaloos.

So here we are again, getting geared up for another marathon month of thanks, tidings of comfort and joy, and one other thing that presents a bit more of a challenge to most families with kids on the autism spectrum: feasts.

Speaking for myself as a parent, the feasting has become the second most enjoyable part of the holidays, right behind watching my children shred open their presents like Tazmanian devils hyped up on caffeine and pixie sticks. Turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, and pie. So much pie. I can't get enough of it. My 7-year-old autistic son, on the other hand...

My son has some very specific food groups he adheres to: chicken nuggets, chips, pretzels, most fruits, various Chef Boyardee products (their meatballs being about the only red meat he will agree to ingest), and milk. So, so much milk. We've managed to get him to try new foods by promising he won't be required to eat them as long as he tries a small bite. Every once in a great while, something will meet with his approval. This is how we learned recently, to our great joy, that he will also consume fish sticks, adding yet another protein to his diet.

However, should the new dish not meet his exacting tastes, he will most definitely let us know, in no uncertain terms, that said poison shall never be allowed to intrude beyond the gate of his lips again. So with that in mind, most of the traditional food offerings during the holidays do not meet his approval. You know what, though?

I couldn't care less.

We've already got his menu planned for this Thanksgiving - chicken nuggets and rice, with Goldfish Crackers or pretzels as an appetizer, and orange Jell-O as dessert. I submit to you that this is not too terribly different than what most college students would be feeding themselves on any given day, with the notable absence of any form of ramen noodle. (I did try that out on him once. It didn't go well.)

The fact of the matter is that the bustle of the holidays - the noise, the crowded houses, the shake-up of routine are hard enough on my boy. I'm not going to add to that with a battle not worth fighting. My son has serious issues with certain tastes and textures, as do any number of children (and adults) on the spectrum. This isn't about him being a picky eater or being difficult about eating his veggies. To him, taking a bite of the wrong food would be akin to you or me placing a live slug in our mouths. Not the most pleasant thing to consider.

Bearing all that in mind, I have asked myself this question: is it worth it? Is what's put on his plate so important that I'm going to put him through additional stress, potentially sending him into a sensory-overload generated meltdown? Do I really want to ruin the occasion for him by linking the idea that he's going to be force-fed things he can't stand with family gatherings and holiday celebrations?

I think not.

The holidays aren't about the type of poultry placed on our plates, or the manner in which it is prepared. They're about coming together and celebrating the things in life that give it meaning: friends, family, the joy of giving. For my boy, it's not about what's on the table. It's about the music in his ears, the bright colors from the holiday lights twinkling in his eyes, and the love he feels surrounded by family that understands and accepts him for who he is.

I'm not going to quit trying to offer him new foods, just like I'm never going to quit trying to expose him to other new experiences that he'll hopefully enjoy. I'm also not going to force him to go along with something that causes him horrendous discomfort and anxiety just to go along with "tradition." That's not what I want him to associate with this time of year.

So bring on the nuggets. Bring on the Jell-O. Let him focus on the aspects of the holidays he truly loves, like Rudolph and Frosty and carols sung with butchered lyrics but unmatched heart. Y'know, the important stuff. Besides, he's just helping Daddy enjoy his favorite part of the holidays even more by leaving him more pie.

That's love, the one thing this time of year is truly all about.

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My Autistic Son Is Having Chicken Nuggets for Thanksgiving - and That's OK

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Didn't we just get through the holidays? I could swear I just got all the holiday decorations packed up and put back in the garage. Of course, as fast as I work, that's not a very good indicator of how much time has actually passed since the last go-round of holiday hullabaloos.

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Many verbal autistic children and teens have the experience of being unable to produce spoken words in some situations. Autism is a social communication disorder at its core, and understanding what that means for an otherwise verbal child may change the way adults respond to a child who seems to become temporarily nonverbal.

Does this sound familiar? You're out in the mall with your son, and a classmate runs up to greet your child, "Hi Matthew!" says the excited youngster. Your child, in response, stares blankly ahead and says nothing. Or perhaps he starts running around and acting much younger than his 12 years would suggest - but still does not say a word to his classmate.

Or maybe your child is not able to speak when your mother comes to visit, or at the doctor's office - or at school. It is not uncommon for parents to hear from teachers that the child is "refusing to answer," is being "rude and ignoring peers and staff" when in fact, they just cannot speak. Cannot.

There are so many reasons these kinds of scenarios play out in the lives of those on the spectrum. Some of these can include:
1. Slow processing speed.
The child takes several seconds to realize who the classmate is that has shown up so unexpectedly. By the time his brain has processed all of the sensory information in the environment (the person's face and their words) the child is gone and the parent is chastising the autistic child for being rude to his friend - only he wasn't being rude. This is how his brain works.
2. Anxiety.
Children with autism have so many reasons to be anxious. The sensory world is often overwhelming. The speed and volume of the school curriculum, combined with its sensory and social demands often exceed their capacity to cope, but they soldier on and anxiety escalates.

Their social attempts are often unsuccessful, and so they experience social isolation or rejection. Some children on the spectrum develop such severe anxiety in some settings that they simply cannot speak while there at all - ever. I have known a number of children who were nonverbal throughout their childhood while in the school setting.
3. Social communication gaps.
Big exhale for this one. I find it so frustrating that our schools are not addressing this core feature of autism. Our children have to learn step-by- step what typical children pick up intuitively.

Autism is, as I said earlier, a social communication condition. This means we - as in society and the systems of support - ought to know that these children need curriculum and plenty of relevant practice to learn social communication skills and feel confident with conversation. Ahh. Makes sense! But we don't do this for them. We do the opposite of help. We often do harm, ("We" refers to system supports - not parents.)

Why harm? Well, the plan right now for addressing gaps in our children's social communication seems to be catching them being autistic - catching them not knowing how to respond appropriately or approach successfully - and then shame them for it. This may be why some of our children are unable to speak at all. Why open your mouth when it may just remind you, yet again, that you have messed up?

Contrary to popular misconceptions, these children are not rude. They are not cognitively slow or antisocial. Let's encourage professionals to stop using these unflattering editorial words to describe the neurological differences or the anxiety that often accompany an autism diagnosis.

And while we are at it, we can share what we know. We know that anxiety, slow processing speed, and social communication gaps are the most common reason why your child may not always be able to speak or to respond in a timely fashion.

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Why Your Verbal Autistic Child Sometimes Cannot Speak

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Many verbal autistic children and teens have the experience of being unable to produce spoken words in some situations. Autism is a social communication disorder at its core, and understanding what that means for an otherwise verbal child may change the way adults respond to a child who seems to become temporarily nonverbal.

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Anger Games: 14 Super Fun Ways to Learn Anger Management Skills

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Anger games are great resource to develop coping skills at home, school or in a counseling environment. A review of anger management games available in the market.

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Gratitude for Kids: in this article, you will find more than 20 fun gratitude activities for kids (journaling, thank you notes, crafts, songs, books, and a lot more!). You will also learn evidence-based...

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Coping Skills Archives - Very Special Tales

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Gratitude for Kids: in this article, you will find more than 20 fun gratitude activities for kids (journaling, thank you notes, crafts, songs, books, and a lot more!). You will also learn evidence-based...

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Gratitude for Kids: in this article, you will find more than 20 fun gratitude activities for kids (journaling, thank you notes, crafts, songs, books, and a lot more!). You will also learn evidence-based...

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Coping Skills Archives - Very Special Tales

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Gratitude for Kids: in this article, you will find more than 20 fun gratitude activities for kids (journaling, thank you notes, crafts, songs, books, and a lot more!). You will also learn evidence-based...

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Autistic and invisible Girls with autism are not being diagnosed because they are adept at camouflaging their behaviour in an effort to try to fit in, according to a new study. More

Reclaiming research for autism "I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at 18 years old. At 18 years old, I began to understand myself. Finally, I understood why I am this way" More

Don't generalise Autistic people vary widely in their quality of life, a new study shows. Some report shortcomings in their physical health and school achievement, among other areas, but many do not. More

Care to spare Autistic people care too much, research suggests. ​A journal article in The Journal of Neuroscience was released last week regarding morality and individual gain, comparing groups of autistic people and non-autistic people More

Low-down on lockdown "The new [national] lockdown measures are causing a lot of anxiety for people like me. It's difficult to wake up one morning and be told you can't leave your house or go to school." More

Welcome to the house "I honestly never thought that I would run for office, because I didn't see people in elected office who were like me," Jessica Benham More

Spotting signs Sam Bailey says she felt guilty that she hadn't spotted the signs sooner. "Looking back, he has an issue with loud music and loud noises. A hand dryer in the toilet, he'd be like: 'Agh!'," More

Why the wait? Families are living a 'nightmare' waiting two years for children to get access to autism referrals More

A.I. help for jobs Researchers are collaborating to develop artificial intelligence based software to help people on the autism spectrum find and hold meaningful employment. "We believe that people with disabilities add a needed element to the richness of the American and global workforce," More

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Autistic and invisible Girls with autism are not being diagnosed because they are adept at camouflaging their behaviour in an effort to try to fit in, according to a new study. More Reclaiming research for autism "I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at 18 years old.

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As a number of regions across the country enter local lockdowns and our fight against coronavirus continues, we must mobilise the lessons learned during wave 1 and protect our staff.

When the pandemic began to sweep across the country in early spring this year, our services adapted quickly and managed to stay open despite the difficult conditions. Our teams have learned a great deal and found short-term solutions that now need to pass the test of winter.

Despite the increasing pressures, it is important to note that we are in a different position to the one we were in back in spring. We now understand so much more about COVID-19 and its transmission. NHS England and NHS Improvement has been supporting cross-service work, undertaking rigorous scenario and escalation point planning. And we have deployed a new mental health offer for all health and social care workers.

A number one priority is to support our frontline staff. This is why on Tuesday NHS England and NHS Improvement announced it will invest an extra £15 million to strengthen mental health support for nurses, paramedics, therapists, pharmacists, and support staff. I spoke about this at the Health Select Committee on Tuesday on their session on Workforce Burnout and Resilience in the NHS and Social Care.

Staff referred by themselves or colleagues will be rapidly assessed and treated by local expert mental health specialists. Those with the most severe needs will be referred to a specialised treatment service providing evidenced based interventions.

The £15m funding package will be spent on creating a national support service for critical care staff, funding nationwide outreach and assessment services, ensuring staff receive rapid access to evidence based mental health services and developing wellbeing and psychological training, set to be rolled out this winter.

I want to remind all staff that we have a range of support available exclusively to you. Visit our website to find confidential helplines, text message support and wellbeing apps. Please remember that you can call free from 7am to 11pm, seven days a week for confidential support: 0800 06 96 222, or text FRONTLINE to 85258 for support 24/7. There is also a confidential bereavement support line, operated by Hospice UK and free to access from 8am - 8pm, seven days a week. Call 0300 303 4434.

This winter will undoubtedly be one of the most challenging times we have ever faced at the NHS, so please do ensure you take all the steps necessary to protect your wellbeing. I am so grateful for all you are doing across the country, please do look after yourselves.

Thank you.
Claire Murdoch

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Mental Health, Learning Disability and Autism Weekly Bulletin

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As a number of regions across the country enter local lockdowns and our fight against coronavirus continues, we must mobilise the lessons learned during wave 1 and protect our staff. When the pandemic began to sweep across the country in early spring this year, our services adapted quickly and managed to stay open despite the difficult conditions.

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This social story explains the social expectations involved in using a public restroom, including use of a stall and use of a urinal.

This single page is designed to be enlarged on a copier and made into a booklet.

These skills take practice and time to master, and patient instruction, so keep a change of clothes handy.

Please use this tool with sensitivity and privacy.

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This social story explains the social expectations involved in using a public restroom, including use of a stall and use of a urinal. This single page is designed to be enlarged on a copier and made into a booklet. These skills take practice and time to master, and patient instruction, so keep a change of clothes handy.