# data[].attributes.body
Murakami reinforces the Japanese relationship stereotypes within the first few pages. The narrator is a very young woman pursuing a silent strong man. The only divergent element is “No one celebrated our wedding” (Murakami 213). Japanese marriages according to manhattanbride.com have a whole purpose of combining and uniting the two families involved as much as the couple itself is uniting. Murakami, while keeping the dynamics of the couple stereotypical, the dynamic of the families not being involved in the wedding is atypical.

# data[].attributes.headline
Is there a name for sacrificing everything to make a partner happy?

# data[].attributes.subject
Is there a name for sacrificing everything to make a partner happy?

# data[].attributes.headline
Altruistic suicide is the sacrifice of one's life in order to save or benefit others, for the good of the group, or to preserve the traditions and honor of a society.

# data[].attributes.subject
Altruistic suicide is the sacrifice of one's life in order to save or benefit others, for the good of the group, or to preserve the traditions and honor of a society.

# data[].attributes.headline
People-pleasing is an adaptive behaviour that once was an effective survival strategy and that has become habituated, either to gain something (acknowledgement, acceptance, approval, sense of belonging) or to avoid something, such as fear of rejection. 

# data[].attributes.subject
People-pleasing is an adaptive behaviour that once was an effective survival strategy and that has become habituated, either to gain something (acknowledgement, acceptance, approval, sense of belonging) or to avoid something, such as fear of rejection. 

# data[].attributes.headline
It may be effective still in the short term, but many end up with burnout, health issues, relationship struggles or something else had to give. And of course, we end up feeling taken advantage of whilst it was our own behaviour rooted in feelings of unworthiness, fear of conflict or rejection that contributed to a lack of boundaries.

# data[].attributes.subject
It may be effective still in the short term, but many end up with burnout, health issues, relationship struggles or something else had to give. And of course, we end up feeling taken advantage of whilst it was our own behaviour rooted in feelings of unworthiness, fear of conflict or rejection that contributed to a lack of boundaries.

# data[].attributes.headline
How common are the following premonitions and dreams?

# data[].attributes.subject
How common are the following premonitions and dreams?

# data[].attributes.headline
"To tell you the truth, I was frightened.  If we went to the South Pole, I felt something terrible was going to happen to us."

# data[].attributes.subject
"To tell you the truth, I was frightened.  If we went to the South Pole, I felt something terrible was going to happen to us."

# data[].attributes.body
Why do you think she says "us"?

# data[].attributes.headline
"I had the same awful dream night after night.  I'm walking somewhere when I fall into a deep hole.  Nobody finds me and I freeze solid.  I'm frozen inside of the ice, gazing up at the sky.  I'm conscious, but can't even move a finger. It's such a weird feeling."

# data[].attributes.subject
"I had the same awful dream night after night.  I'm walking somewhere when I fall into a deep hole.  Nobody finds me and I freeze solid.  I'm frozen inside of the ice, gazing up at the sky.  I'm conscious, but can't even move a finger. It's such a weird feeling."

# data[].attributes.body
Is it "weird" to feel what she describes?  Is what she experiences "weird" in the sense of uncommon?

# data[].attributes.body
The average Japanese woman is expected to be submissive her entire life according to japanpowered.com. More specifically, submissive to the men in her life, especially her husband. The men go off to work and provide for the family, while the family is the full time job of the woman. Women even go to classes early in their life to prepare for taking care of families. One interesting aspect is that the women are in charge of the finances despite the men being the provider. And some men are even given an allowance from their wife to help with budgeting.

# data[].attributes.body
Is it only an ideal or is the ideal marriage also real and possible?

# data[].attributes.body
Murakami deviates from standard Japanese gender roles with the narrator getting her way some of the time, an example being the vacation. Now he reinforces the gender stereotypes with the narrator finding any excuse to cancel the trip since she knows her husband would rather be at home. Deep down she is terrified of displeasing him, yet he does want her to be happy at the end of it all.

# data[].attributes.body
Some key traits of the narrator are: People pleaser, submissive, attached, isolated, and feeble

# data[].attributes.body
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzF83e_L100

I watched this documentary in high school and just got reminded of it by reading the padlet bubbles. Really fascinating.

# data[].attributes.body
Japanese men are brought up to be workers first and family men second. The importance of being a good worker and benefiting the company comes first. Murakami shows this with the long drawn-out process of the couple trying to plan a vacation. “I don’t think traveling is all that great, but I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, go wherever you want. I’ve worked hard at the warehouse and should be able to take some time off” (Murakami 214). Work first, everything else second.

# data[].attributes.body
Gary Cooper is the embodiment of the expectations of Japanese men to be the strong silent type.

# data[].attributes.body
Another image that shows their marriage dynamic clearly. Submissive woman kneeling before a strong man. Armor also helps show the strength required of the man, loose silk that hangs to show the “weakness” and submissiveness of the woman. Armor is also representative of the man being the one that needs to go out and do a job to provide for the family. Putting the job first since the armor is still on, even with the woman.

# data[].attributes.body
4:18 minutes

# data[].attributes.headline
A form of severe social withdrawal, called hikikomori, has been frequently described in Japan.

# data[].attributes.subject
A form of severe social withdrawal, called hikikomori, has been frequently described in Japan.

# data[].attributes.headline
The cause of hikikomori is not well established. Many practitioners report that patients become hikikomori after a stressful event triggers new socially avoidant behavior that then extends into hikikomori. Some studies find that hikikomori is correlated with dysfunctional family settings or having experienced trauma.

# data[].attributes.subject
The cause of hikikomori is not well established. Many practitioners report that patients become hikikomori after a stressful event triggers new socially avoidant behavior that then extends into hikikomori. Some studies find that hikikomori is correlated with dysfunctional family settings or having experienced trauma.

# data[].attributes.headline
Many female hikikomori are not acknowledged because women are expected to adopt domestic roles and their withdrawal from society can go unnoticed.

# data[].attributes.subject
Many female hikikomori are not acknowledged because women are expected to adopt domestic roles and their withdrawal from society can go unnoticed.

# data[].attributes.headline
Kodokushi (孤独死) or “lonely death” is a Japanese phenomenon of people dying alone and remaining undiscovered for a long period of time.  In many cases kodokushi happens due to an extraordinary absence of family.

# data[].attributes.subject
Kodokushi (孤独死) or “lonely death” is a Japanese phenomenon of people dying alone and remaining undiscovered for a long period of time.  In many cases kodokushi happens due to an extraordinary absence of family.

# data[].attributes.headline
Social isolation significantly increased a person's risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. Social isolation was associated with about a 50% increased risk of dementia.

# data[].attributes.subject
Social isolation significantly increased a person's risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. Social isolation was associated with about a 50% increased risk of dementia.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.readable_text
Loneliness and social isolation in older adults are serious public health risks affecting a significant number of people in the United States and putting them at risk for dementia and other serious medical conditions.

A report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) points out that more than one-third of adults aged 45 and older feel lonely, and nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated. ¹ Older adults are at increased risk for loneliness and social isolation because they are more likely to face factors such as living alone, the loss of family or friends, chronic illness, and hearing loss.

Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, regardless of the amount of social contact. Social isolation is a lack of social connections. Social isolation can lead to loneliness in some people, while others can feel lonely without being socially isolated.

Health Risks of Loneliness

Although it's hard to measure social isolation and loneliness precisely, there is strong evidence that many adults aged 50 and older are socially isolated or lonely in ways that put their health at risk. Recent studies found that:

Social isolation significantly increased a person's risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity.¹

Social isolation was associated with about a 50% increased risk of dementia.¹

Poor social relationships (characterized by social isolation or loneliness) was associated with a 29% increased risk of heart disease and a 32% increased risk of stroke.¹

Loneliness was associated with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide.

Loneliness among heart failure patients was associated with a nearly 4 times increased risk of death, 68% increased risk of hospitalization, and 57% increased risk of emergency department visits.¹

Immigrant, LGBT People Are at Higher Risk

The report highlights loneliness among vulnerable older adults, including immigrants; lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) populations; minorities; and victims of elder abuse. It also points out that the literature base for these populations is sparse and more research is needed to determine risks, impacts, and appropriate actions needed.

Current research suggests that immigrant, and lesbian, gay, bisexual populations experience loneliness more often than other groups. Latino immigrants, for example, "have fewer social ties and lower levels of social integration than US-born Latinos." First-generation immigrants experience stressors that can increase their social isolation, such as language barriers, differences in community, family dynamics, and new relationships that lack depth or history, the report states. Similarly, gay, lesbian, and bisexual populations tend to have more loneliness than their heterosexual peers because of stigma, discrimination, and barriers to care.

What Can You Do If You Are Experiencing Loneliness?

Your doctor can assess your risk for loneliness and social isolation and get you connected to community resources for help, if needed. The following national organizations also offer helpful resources:

AARP -Provides helpful information to seniors to help improve quality of life and provides access to Community Connection Tools.

Area Agencies on Aging (AAA)-A network of over 620 organizations across America that provides information and assistance with programs including nutrition and meal programs (counseling and home-delivered or group meals), caregiver support, and more. The website can help you find your local AAA, which may provide classes in Tai Chi and diabetes self-management.

Eldercare Locator -A free national service that helps find local resources for seniors such as financial support, caregiving services, and transportation. It includes a brochure that shows how volunteering can help keep you socially connected.

National Council on Aging -Works with nonprofit organizations, governments, and businesses to provide community programs and services. This is the place to find what senior programs are available to assist with healthy aging and financial security, including the Aging Mastery Program® that is shown to increase social connectedness and healthy eating habits.

National Institute on Aging (NIA) - Provides materials on social isolation and loneliness for older adults, caregivers, and health care providers. Materials include health information, a print publication available to view or order no-cost paper copies, a health care provider flyer, and social media graphics and posts.

Health Care System Interventions Are Key

People generally are social by nature, and high-quality social relationships can help them live longer, healthier lives. Health care systems are an important, yet underused, partner in identifying loneliness and preventing medical conditions associated with loneliness.

Nearly all adults aged 50 or older interact with the health care system in some way. For those without social connections, a doctor's appointment or visit from a home health nurse may be one of the few face-to-face encounters they have. This represents a unique opportunity for clinicians to identify people at risk for loneliness or social isolation.

NASEM recommends that clinicians periodically assess patients who may be at risk and connect them to community resources for help. In clinical settings, NASEM recommends using the Berkman-Syme Social Network Index (for measuring social isolation) and the three-item UCLA Loneliness Scale (for measuring loneliness).

But patients must make their own decisions. Some people may like being alone. It is also important to note that social isolation and loneliness are two distinct aspects of social relationships, and they are not significantly linked. Both can put health at risk, however.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Loneliness and Social Isolation Linked to Serious Health Conditions

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Older adults who are lonely or socially isolated are at greater risk for serious medical conditions. Here are resources to help you stay connected.

# data[].attributes.headline
On the first read of this story, how much compassion did you have for the narrator?

# data[].attributes.subject
On the first read of this story, how much compassion did you have for the narrator?

# data[].attributes.headline
"Occasionally I'd stop passersby and ask where the penguins were, but they'd merely shake their head. They couldn't understand my words, so I'd end up sketching a penguin on a piece of paper to show them, but all I got was the same response: a silent shake of the head. I felt so alone."

# data[].attributes.subject
"Occasionally I'd stop passersby and ask where the penguins were, but they'd merely shake their head. They couldn't understand my words, so I'd end up sketching a penguin on a piece of paper to show them, but all I got was the same response: a silent shake of the head. I felt so alone."

# data[].attributes.headline
For good or bad, what are some of the ways that we communicate without using words?

# data[].attributes.subject
For good or bad, what are some of the ways that we communicate without using words?

# data[].attributes.body
How might the communication without words be misconstrued?

# data[].attributes.headline
"All the South Pole people liked him a lot, and they couldn't understand a word I said. With white breath and frosty faces they talked, joked around, and sang songs in that distinctively spirited language of theirs. "

# data[].attributes.subject
"All the South Pole people liked him a lot, and they couldn't understand a word I said. With white breath and frosty faces they talked, joked around, and sang songs in that distinctively spirited language of theirs. "

# data[].attributes.headline
"It wasn't long before he learned the language and spoke with the locals in hard, icy tones. They talked for hours, intense looks on their faces, but I didn't have a clue what they could be talking about. [...] It upset me at first, and I felt like I was left behind, betrayed and abandoned."

# data[].attributes.subject
"It wasn't long before he learned the language and spoke with the locals in hard, icy tones. They talked for hours, intense looks on their faces, but I didn't have a clue what they could be talking about. [...] It upset me at first, and I felt like I was left behind, betrayed and abandoned."

# data[].attributes.headline
Note how close the words "communicate" and "community" are.  What does it feel like to not be part of the crowd, part of the festivities?

# data[].attributes.subject
Note how close the words "communicate" and "community" are.  What does it feel like to not be part of the crowd, part of the festivities?

# data[].attributes.body
Why is community important?

# data[].attributes.headline
"I stayed shut up in my hotel room gazing out at the gray skies that wouldn't clear for months, struggling to learn the complicated grammar of the South Pole language, something I knew I'd never master." 

# data[].attributes.subject
"I stayed shut up in my hotel room gazing out at the gray skies that wouldn't clear for months, struggling to learn the complicated grammar of the South Pole language, something I knew I'd never master." 

# data[].attributes.headline
To what degree do you hold the narrator responsible for her situation in this social setting?

# data[].attributes.subject
To what degree do you hold the narrator responsible for her situation in this social setting?

# data[].attributes.headline
"I don't know when it began, or when it ended, but before I knew it I was locked away, alone and numb in the endless winter of that world of ice. "

# data[].attributes.subject
"I don't know when it began, or when it ended, but before I knew it I was locked away, alone and numb in the endless winter of that world of ice. "

# data[].attributes.body
The narrator in Murakami’s “The Ice Man”, is a typical Japanese woman trapped in a typical Japanese marriage. How she got to be married to him begins normally enough, with her intrigued by the mysterious silent man at a ski resort. He doesn’t talk about himself, but instead lets her pour her entire life out onto him. “How do you know so much about me? I asked. Are you a mind reader?” (Murakami 211). This could be interpreted as him being an extra special being, when the reality is she talked her socks off to him, and The Ice Man being a silent listener repeated back things she had told him to show interest.

# data[].attributes.body
The “Ice” in “The Ice Man” is supposed to represent his silence and being closed off. Or at least the way the narrator sees him. He’s not very different from what Japanese men are supposed to be like according to their society, but “Ice” is generally not a very warm and welcoming word when used in discussion.

# data[].attributes.headline
Can you imagine a different outcome for this woman and this couple?  

# data[].attributes.subject
Can you imagine a different outcome for this woman and this couple?  

# data[].attributes.body
What would it take?

# data[].attributes.headline
The Ice Man tells her: "It was only a dream [...].  Dreams come from the past, not from the future.  Dreams shouldn't control you--you should control THEM."

# data[].attributes.subject
The Ice Man tells her: "It was only a dream [...].  Dreams come from the past, not from the future.  Dreams shouldn't control you--you should control THEM."

# data[].attributes.body
Discuss the truth and the irony of his statement.

# data[].attributes.headline
How important is the approval of others when forming a relationship?

# data[].attributes.subject
How important is the approval of others when forming a relationship?

# data[].attributes.body
The ending of the passage is the circle of life continuing on just as Japanese society expects it to. “And I knew this, too: my child would have the same icicle eyes as his father” (Murakami 218). The child is clearly a boy, and is going to grow up to be a hard working silent man just as his father was before him. The narrator pains over this, but knows there is nothing she can ultimately do.

# data[].attributes.headline
Do you think gender roles have evolved or changed in such a way as to make "ideal" or mutually satisfying marriages possible?

# data[].attributes.subject
Do you think gender roles have evolved or changed in such a way as to make "ideal" or mutually satisfying marriages possible?

# data[].attributes.body
What are some factors (in gender-terms) that challenge or interfere with achieving a mutally satisfying marriage?

# data[].attributes.headline
How does Murakami define "community"? What general observations is Murakami making about the significance of community?

# data[].attributes.subject
How does Murakami define "community"? What general observations is Murakami making about the significance of community?

# data[].attributes.headline
What is love?  What is commitment?  What are the sacrifices and to what extent should one sacrifice for the other?

# data[].attributes.subject
What is love?  What is commitment?  What are the sacrifices and to what extent should one sacrifice for the other?

# data[].attributes.headline
The last line of the story is: "And I cry some more, icy tears welling up endlessly in our frozen little home in the far-off South Pole".

# data[].attributes.subject
The last line of the story is: "And I cry some more, icy tears welling up endlessly in our frozen little home in the far-off South Pole".

# data[].attributes.body
What is the definition or concept of "home"?