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Very incredible way to take something that is perceived as so "different" and explain it in a way that makes us realize it was around us all along.

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Rj, I loved the formatting of each compelling argument you brought up. The language you used made me feel your anger, your emotions towards this topic. It made me want to act!

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I’ve been thinking about gender and sexuality a lot recently. In particular, its current position within our culture. The arguments postured against it. I’ve come across a few compelling arguments against the common talking points used by Republicans, homophobes, and religious zealots that I would like to chronicle. Both for my advantage as an educator to have a quick resource where my words are already put down and organized, and for anyone else who is in the unfortunate position of having to defend their own or someone else’s existence, or perhaps even those of you looking for a new perspective on the matter.

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1. They’re choosing it. - The idea of choosing either gender or sexuality is and always has been baffling to me. To anyone who is heterosexual, did you decide that? Did you pick this orientation one day? Or was it a part of your innate being? If you said you did not choose it (which you all did, unless you are lying to yourself and suppressing who you are), why does this sentiment only apply to your cis perspective? Beyond this, if it truly was a choice, why would anyone choose it? No one would choose a lifestyle that actively makes life harder, that puts you in harm's way, that has the potential to alienate you from your friends, family, and strangers. At least not en masse, on the scale in which we currently see the queer community.

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2. They’re being taught it - There’s an important linguistic distinction to be made here. They (they being those in the queer community, as well as children in the educational system) aren’t being taught it, this phrase evokes every Republican’s favorite political buzzword, indoctrination. They aren’t being indoctrinated for an array of reasons, but chief among them is that queerness is not an order, a cult, or a religion. Unlike this collection of things, it’s not something you are sworn into and expected to pay into. It’s a way of life, an identity the same way you might identify as the gender you were born as, as straight, as an Eagles fan, or any number of other facets around which you identify. You identify upon the things that you shape your life around, your hobbies, your career, around what makes you happy, personally fulfilled. You don’t decide to like these things, to derive enjoyment from them, and you aren’t often taught to enjoy them, you just do. The children aren’t being taught it, in situations where they are getting any sort of education on the subject. They’re being taught about it, what it might feel like, how it might present itself, how to participate, safely and responsibly, something we already don't teach straight children within the classroom, so how could queer children possibly be getting taught about these things from educators? We’re giving these tools to children so they don’t feel alone, feel weird, so they don’t kill themselves because no one will accept them, and they’ve never been shown that there are others just like them. It is a concept that is learned, in a way, but it is learned about, and from there students can use this information to decide the type of person that they are, how they want to be perceived, defined, and live.

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3. Oh, if people can be whatever they want, then I’m (insert any number of ridiculous things, people, objects, or adjectives) - Ok. Then you’re (insert). You can forgo your current identity for whatever inane bullshit you want, and I’ll respect it. But in the same fell swoop, you’re going to kill another one of your favorite arguments/talking points (Pronouns are too hard to remember). I’ll follow your unconventional pronouns, and you’ll see it’s really not that fucking hard to do, you already do it with every single person you know. On top of this, you’re going to get really annoyed by the people around you constantly referring to you as your funny little 2016 “Appache/attack helicopter” joke. Come up with something original at the very least.

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4. What does it even matter if I can tell their gender/sexuality (what it is or what it used to be) - Can you? How do you know? You seen their pussy? You seen their dick? All you’re doing is making assumptions on the basis of antiquated gender stereotypes. You’re assuming by the clothes someone wears, by the way they act, the way their face and body looks. But if you already spend so much time obsessing over looks and defaulting to pronouns based on this, how hard is it to register the dress/skirt a trans M-F is wearing and use a feminine pronoun, or the opposite way around? But even if you are using their appearance to assume their gender/sexuality/identity, you still don’t know. You can’t know what is happening in their head, what they’re feeling and likely have been feeling all their life.

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5. WhAt ABouT nOnBInarY PeoPlE? - What about them? Respect them the same way you would or should anyone else. If you have to assume their gender right out the gate, which you don’t, respect the pronouns they give you after they tell you the first time. Respect their identity, their autonomy, and their existence as a human being who was made just the same as you and every other cis and queer person, by whatever God or power you believe in. You fucking goon. And if you decide to bring up the inane and nonsensical argument of, “but it doesn’t make grammatical sense!” Yes it does. It always has. They/them has historically been used to refer to groups of people which do not have a single gender. It is a non-gendered pronoun, used just as well to refer to singular people whose gender you are presently unclear of. If a friend tells you they’re going to hang out with a friend you don’t know later, you’d ask, “oh, what’s their name?” It’s a simple concept, and if you’re using this grammatical fallacy to back your bigotry, please return to a remedial grammar/reading class.

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6. What if it makes them deviants? - How? How would it make them deviants? What is inherently sexual about another gender? What is even inherently sexual about another sexuality, other than the presence of the word sexual within it? Teaching about gender and sexuality and knowing about them does not HAVE to mean education on sex as well, however I do believe both straight and queer children should be introduced to sex education that serves both beyond basic human anatomy. As things currently stand though, many students do not receive even the very basics of education on the topic of sex beyond abstinence or use a condom or some other form of birth control. However, that isn’t the point of this. The point is that viewing these aspects as inherently sexual is a patriarchal idea that ignores the identity aspect of gender and sexuality, alongside the very real aspect that these identities, including a heterosexual, cis identity, can have no sexual feelings or implications tied to them. All this ties into another argument with a basis in deviancy. That by opening bathrooms, we will be increasing the number of sexual assaults that occur. I have a very simple question to this point. Have you ever been on a bus or plane? If you haven’t, both of these forms of transportation utilize unisex bathrooms by and large. Unisex bathrooms exist, have existed, and will continue to exist. Another aspect of this argument is that someone who is going to sexually assault a person or child in the bathroom does not need to lie and conform their gender to the “correct” one to grope and violate a person. They have already decided to commit one of the most heinous, irredeemable crimes there is. Selecting and portraying the gender on the bathroom sign is the least of their concern. The problem here is a rape culture within America that is being ignored while trans and non-gender conforming people are being targeted in the place of truly evil people.

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7. My religion speaks against homosexuality - I, unfortunately, am not widely versed in numerous religions, however, my perspective and commentary with these talking points and arguments is largely set within an American context. As such, the majority that tend to take this point are Catholic or Christian, a religion that I am familiar with and was a part of for a good portion of my life. There are a few important points to touch on when it comes to this faith. While it is undeniably culturally relevant within our current society, we need to acknowledge that not all of the teachings and writings within the faith, namely The Bible, are still culturally relevant.

Take, for example, Ephesians 6:5-8. “Slaves, be obedient to your human masters with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ.” This piece of scripture includes numerous social constructs which have been legislated against globally, and refers to those who are slaves as less than human when referring to them only by the word “slaves,” and then referring to those who own them as “human masters” as opposed to “masters,” an important and deliberate distinction. Additionally, instructions on how slaves should act and be perceived is no longer a modernly relevant piece of the Bible, and as such, it is disregarded and not practiced, and, quite honestly, should be abhorred. Which leads to the current state of the church, one which is malleable around the core tenets of the faith. Not only do many congregations openly accept queer members, but the head of the faith, Pope Francis, has accepted these people and spoken against parents and family that demonize the LGBTQ+ community. The faith is not a stagnant thing that cannot and does not change. It does not and cannot sustain the same cultural messages and ideas that it did at its origin, even if some of these teachings are timeless.

But if it cannot and has not stayed the same, what has caused the faith to change over time? One such way is social and cultural conformity, as we have just discussed. Another such way is translation and interpretation. There are many pieces of scripture used to support homophobic rhetoric, but much of it has been debunked as poor translation that does not convey the original meanings of the text. One I often see used is Leviticus 18:22. “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.” This piece of scripture is direct, it feels cut and dry and without much left to interpret, and so many religious people feel sound in their usage of it. That is, when it is absent of historical context. There is plenty of discussion around the proper translation of this and many other writings in The Bible that are easily searchable. However, regarding the translation and interpretation of this particular line, many argue that the original writing did not have any basis in the condemning of queer relations, and instead spoke about the condemning of incest and pedophilia.

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8. Making me use pronouns is against my freedom of speech - Sure. You can say that, and you would be right. You don’t HAVE to refer to anyone in any way you don’t want to. You can say just about anything, but just because you can say anything does not absolve you of the responsibility for your words and what the words you use cause. It’s a very commonly used scenario that I was taught in high school, you can yell fire in public when there isn’t one, that’s technically your right. However, you are culpable for whatever the outcome of this action is, including injury. If you bully, harass, and demean someone and they commit suicide, you are responsible for that death due to the influence of your words. In the same way, when you are aware of someone’s identity and wilfully choose to ignore it, belittle it, or demean it, you are causing a scene and a dispute within which you are in the wrong. You are denying the person’s existence, identity, and autonomy, and you are responsible for whatever the outcome of that situation is. You are free to say what you like, but you are responsible for the impact of your words.

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9. There were never this many gay/lesbian/bi/trans/queer/non-binary/etc. people before, it’s just a fad - Yes there were. They have always existed, they have always been here, but they have also faced constant danger and persecution that kept them from being who they are, from knowing enough to know who they are, or from openly being who they are. They were a part of the genocide in Germany, and not an insignificant target, not that any single person who was involved in it was, though I know that there are people who would seek to paint them as such. They were admonished by the church and society at large, sent to, and sometimes even still sent to, gay camps that would beat, shock, preach, and torture “the gay out of them.” They were and are kicked out of homes, abandoned by families, friends, partners, mentors, left far too young to fend for themselves, to carve a life from nothing, with no safety to fall back into. They were stifled and killed at Stonewall. They killed themselves as they were ignored and demonized by society. They could not safely be who they truly were, they still cannot be now. But there are now more pockets of the world where they can be, where they can fight to be heard, to validate their own existence that holds no difference than anyone else’s. It’s an old sentiment, but it still rings true, they’re here, they’re queer, and they’re just like you.

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10. If you let people be LGBTQ+, everyone will be - There are only a few responses to this argument. The first is that you are bad at arguments and debates and rely on slippery slopes and other logical fallacies to make your points without any solid footing. The other is that you are queer and want to be able to be a part of the community, but your upbringing, religion, personal biases, or some other hurdle is preventing you from embracing who you are due to shame or guilt. Take your pick. This point goes back to one of our previous arguments, that being queer is not a choice, and if it were, people would not choose it at this magnitude due to the difficulties, challenge, and danger that is associated with being queer even today. So, it truly begs the question why you would think this way unless you in some way felt a draw towards the queer spectrum. (Why if the flipside of this argument was posed, do you feel that not everyone would choose to be straight?)

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Your writing was very captivating and strong!! I love the points you made

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Loved reading this! It is captivating!

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poignant, passionate, and purposeful

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Love the points you have and how you explain everything