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Baby Bonding is a programme that guides and empowers parents and carers to develop secure relationships with their babies.

This flexible and accessible programme that is accessible as a group or individually and can be accessed by parents and carers of 0 - 6 months old.

Baby bonding runs over 6 weeks but can be extended individually if the parent or carer would like to.

Our next course starts on the 9th of September and is at Bright meadows Family hub at 12.30pm.

The group is for a maximum of 5 parents or carers and the session last for One hour and 30 minutes.

Please get in touch to book a place Babyinmind.PAIRS@gmmh.nhs.uk

Or call 01204483222 and ask to speak to a member of the baby in mind team.

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Currently our sessions take place at:

Alexandra, Great Lever (alternate Mondays),

Oxford Grove (Tuesday)

Tonge (Alternative Tuesdays)

Harvey (Thursdays)

Farnworth (Wednesdays Afternoon's and Friday mornings ).

Please see the Bolton family guide’s for information of when we are in specific hubs.

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Nhs Padlet with information about breastfeeding.

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Baby in Mind have available information guidance and advice session available in the Bolton family hubs. Baby in Mind sessions are designed to support early access for Mum's, Dad's, Parent's and caregivers to talk about and get help with things that could be impacting their relationship with their baby.

To prebook please contact Babyinmind.PAIRS@gmmh.nhs.uk

Alexandra family hub - Blackledge Street, Bolton. BL3 4BL

Oxford Grove family hub - Shepherd Cross Street, Bolton. BL1 3BH

Tonge family hub - 260 Starkie Road, Bolton. BL2 2ED

Great Lever family hub - Leonard Street, Bolton. BL3 3AP

Farnworth family hub

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Including;

Stay, Play and Learn,

Parents, Tots Stay and Play,

Shake Rattle Roll,

Little Explorers and

Nature Club for Tots.

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Child and family sessions, Busy Babies, Chat, Play and Read, Baby Group Sessions run by Bolton Toy Library and more

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If you continue to worry about your child's development please seek support from a health care professional. You can speak to your GP or your health visitor or text the parent line on 07507 331751

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Breast feeding can be a tricky journey for lots of families and Bolton have a fantastic services to help support those families, in many different ways.

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Breastfeeding Together are working in Partnership with Bolton Together to provide an Infant Feeding Peer Support Project across Bolton Borough.

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Weaning can be both exciting and anxiety provoking for parents, especially if they are doing it for the first time.

As well as the babies first foods sessions available at the family hubs there is lots of support in Bolton around weaning. The Healthy Families team can offer support to parents about weaning and can be contacted on Tel: 01204 463175

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Play is SO SO SO important for children. Even from a very young age babies start to learn about the world through play. Play can help develop

● Creativity and imagination

● Concentration skills

● Emotional growth

● Language skills

● Physical development

● Social skills

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Sleep is a conversation that gets a lot of attention following the birth of a baby.

"Sleep when the baby sleeps, are they sleeping through, how's their sleep?" etc.

Sleep is often individual to each baby some babies can sleep through the night from a young age whereas other struggle to do this until they are around 2. There are things you can do to encourage good sleep hygiene, however please be aware these may not work for all babies.

As long as your baby feels safe and secure with you they will sleep through the night when they are ready.

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Often, becoming a parent can elicit some difficult thoughts and feelings which can leave us feeling alone and isolated. This book is a great resource for mums struggling with difficult thoughts. It helps identify that some of these thoughts are normal and often experienced by most women. It also has some activities which can help with certain thoughts and feelings too!

It is important to note that if these thoughts feel too overwhelming or scary to reach out to a health professional such as your GP or health visitor to seek the right level of support.

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Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts: A Healing Guide to the Secret Fears of New Mothers

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Over 90 percent of new mothers will have scary, intrusive thoughts about their baby and themselves. What if I drop him? What if I snap and hurt my baby? Mothering is so hard―I don't know if I really want to do this anymore. Gosh, I'm so terrible for thinking that!

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Have you ever thought about the world from your baby's perspective? This is a great resource that can help you understand what may be happening in your baby's mind and what they are communicating.

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Join AiMH UK and your local hub to develop your knowledge, skills, and confidence, and access a wealth of specialist information on the AiMH UK website.

Sharing expertise on how we work with infants and their families increases the effectiveness of our work.

We're using easyfundraising, a free fundraising platform that allows us to earn free funding when you shop or book personally or professionally online.

For everything you buy or book online, we will receive money directly from the retailer - so it doesn't cost you a penny.

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AiMH UK - '25 Things Every Baby Would Want You to Know'

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Join AiMH UK and your local hub to develop your knowledge, skills, and confidence, and access a wealth of specialist information on the AiMH UK website. Sharing expertise on how we work with infants and their families increases the effectiveness of our work.

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How do I create a healthy relationship with my baby?

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How do I create a healthy relationship with my baby?

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Creating a healthy relationship with your baby can sometimes feel like a mammoth task. It can feel as though you are getting things wrong, not meeting their needs or even sometimes as though they prefer someone else.

Simply put your baby needs:

Your attention - giving your baby your attention shows they are your priority and makes them feel seen and heard

You to respond to them - sometimes we may not know what they are trying to tell us, but trying your best and even sometimes explaining "mummy/daddy is trying their best to figure out what you need" can help

To feel safe - trying to respond to their needs as consistently as possible is important for babies to feel safe

You - simply put they just need you. Just do the best you can and if you need help reach out.

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Milestones are a great way to track babies development but they can also be disheartening to parents when your baby doesn't appear to be meeting them.

It is important to remember that not all babies develop at the same time. They all have different personalities, interests, strengths and weaknesses just as adults do.

So what can you do?

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When a baby is crying it can evoke difficult feelings in a parent or carer including anxiety, stress and frustration. Crying is your baby's way of communicating with you but this can often feel difficult to hold in mind when you are struggling to soothe your baby.

Their cry is designed to evoke these feelings to try to make you care for them as quickly as possible and this is important to remember when those feelings feel difficult to manage.

ICON is a great resource for parents who may be struggling to manage their own feelings when trying to soothe their baby and here are some links and resources to support with that.

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Babies cry, you can cope When babies cry it can be stressful and overwhelming. Help is out there and all you need to do is ask. Latest news Testimonials

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Health worries and concerns are often a parents worst nightmare when it comes to their infants. We are designed to look for illness and danger to help us care for our children in the best possible way. However, this can often leave us feeling anxious about certain symptoms and wondering whether or where to seek medical help.

There are places parents can turn to to get health support for their children.

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What if I am worried about my relationship with my baby?

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What if I am worried about my relationship with my baby?

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Being worried about your relationship with your baby has probably crossed most parents minds, but can be a difficult subject to discuss with others.

There are lots of services out there to support with this feeling whether it might be a little niggle or completely paralysing.

Speak to a health professional such as your midwife or health visitor about the various services out there to support you! :)

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07507 331751

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Trust your instincts

It can be difficult to tell when a baby or toddler is seriously ill, but the main thing is to trust your instincts.

You know better than anyone else what your child is usually like, so you'll know when something is seriously wrong.

Signs of serious illness in a baby or toddler

Here's a checklist of warning signs that might indicate your baby or toddler is seriously ill and requires medical help.

Temperature

a high temperature, but cold feet and hands

a high temperature that does not come down with paracetamol or ibuprofen (do not give paracetamol to a baby under 2 months and do not give ibuprofen to a baby under 3 months or under 5kg, unless prescribed by a doctor)

a very high or low temperature

your child feels hot or cold to touch, or is shivering

your child is quiet and listless, even when their temperature is not high

a high temperature in a baby less than 2 months old

Find out more about high temperature (fever) in children and what to do
Breathing

rapid breathing or panting

a throaty noise while breathing

your child is finding it hard to get their breath and is sucking their stomach in under their ribs

Other signs

blue, pale, blotchy, or ashen (grey) skin - on brown or black skin, this may be easier to see on the palms of the hands or soles of the feet

your child is hard to wake up, or appears disoriented or confused

your child is crying constantly and you cannot console or distract them, or the cry does not sound like their normal cry

green vomit

your child is not feeding normally and you're worried

nappies that are drier than usual - this is a sign of dehydration

Where to get help for a seriously ill child

If your child has any of signs of serious illness, get medical help as soon as possible:

during the day from Monday to Friday - it's best to call your GP surgery

evenings and weekends - call NHS 111

if your baby is under 6 months old it's hard for a doctor or nurse to assess them over the phone - you can go to an urgent treatment centre or, if you're very worried, take them to A&E

When to visit urgent treatment centres (urgent care services) Find your nearest A&E

When to call an ambulance

Call 999 for an ambulance if your child:

stops breathing

will not wake up

has a spotty, purple or red rash anywhere on their body that does not fade when you press a glass against it, as this could be a sign of sepsis - on brown or black skin, this may be easier to see on the palms of the hands or soles of the feet

is under 8 weeks old and you're very worried about them

has a febrile seizure (fit) for the first time, even if they seem to recover

has a severe allergic reaction (anaphylaxis)

may have been seriously injured by you or someone else

Trust your instincts. You know what's different or worrying behaviour in your child.

More information about serious illness that can affect babies and toddlers

Learn the signs of serious illnesses that can affect children, including:

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How to recognise warning signs of serious illness in children under 5, such as cold hands and feet, rapid breathing, or mottled skin. Plus, advice on when to call an ambulance or take your child to A&E.

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Sessions held at the Family Hubs Across Bolton

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Child and family sessions, Busy Babies, Chat, Play and Read, Baby Group Sessions run by Bolton Toy Library and more

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Groups ran by Homestart Host and MHIST to support parents and carers, socialise and meet other families in a friendly environment.

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The services listed below support parents with low mood and anxiety due to new parental responsibility. Participants benefit from additional peer support, resources, and activities.

Alternatively, contact iThrive by email - ithrive@boltontogether.org.uk, to enquire about how to access family support for expectant parents and carers, and other support services for those with babies (0-2 years).

Small Steps

For parents, guardians, and carers with babies (0-2 years), this service provides opportunity to meet with others in a supportive, friendly, non-clinical setting.

For more information, contact: jayne.oakley@mhist.co.uk, or telephone: 01204 527200.

With You in Mind

Access support from trained volunteers, other parents, and staff. The group aims to support you with your experiences and feel connected to the community. For parents and little ones (0-2 years).

For more information contact: Sharonfletcher@homestarthost.org.uk
If you work or volunteer in Bolton, you can get free training in mental health and wellbeing.
The training can help you with your own mental health and wellbeing, as well as teach you to recognise the signs of poor mental health in others and how to give your support.

To book or for more info, take a look at Free Mental Health Training.

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Family support for parents and carers - Bolton Council

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Bolton Together, Mental Health Independent Support Team, Home Start, Mental Health & Wellbeing Training.

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Parent and Infant Relationship Service (PAIRS)

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Parent and Infant Relationship Service (PAIRS)

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The PAIRS service is designed mums, dads, partners and caregivers from pregnancy up until baby is 2 years old, who may be experiencing difficulties adjusting to parenthood and would benefit from support in developing a positive relationship with their baby.

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Sometimes it can be hard to play with our babies, especially when we are exhausted, have other children or have never been played with as children ourselves.

Here is a link to some activity ideas you could try with your little one.

If you are still struggling it is ok to reach out for support. You can do this via the family hubs (attending a group and speaking to a Family Practitioner there) or contacting your Health Visitor.

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Ideas to help your child play and learn

You can give your child lots of different opportunities to play, and it does not need to be difficult or expensive.

For example, you can:

look at books and sing songs and nursery rhymes with your child - it's fun and will help them develop language and communication skills

use things that you've already got lying around the house

get involved yourself - your child will learn more from you than they will from any toy

Play ideas at any age

Playing with water

Babies, toddlers and young children love playing with water - in the bath, paddling pool or just using the sink or a plastic bowl.

Use plastic bottles for pouring and squirting each other, plastic tubing, a sponge, a colander, straws, a funnel, spoons and anything else that's unbreakable.

Never leave a young child alone in the bath or playing with water. A baby or young child can drown in less than 5 centimetres (2 inches) of water.

Reading to your baby

You can start looking at books with your baby from an early age - it will help them with their future learning. The time spent sharing books with your baby also allows you to bond with them and is good for emotional wellbeing.

Even before babies learn to speak, they will enjoy hearing you read to them. Listening to you will give them a feel for the sounds, rhythms and rhymes of language. Even small babies like looking at picture books.

Local libraries usually have a good range of children's books. Some run story sessions for young children. Even if it's for just 10 minutes a day, looking at books with your child will help them build important skills and encourage their interest in reading.

Booktrust offers free Bookstart book packs to every child at 2 key ages before they start school. The aim is to help families enjoy reading together every day and get your child off to a flying start.

You will get a Bookstart Baby pack in your baby's first year, usually from your health visitor or other health professional. Your child will also get a Bookstart Treasure pack when they are 3 or 4 years old from their nursery, playgroup or other early years setting.

Visit the Bookstart website to enjoy interactive storybooks and games, and to find out about events at your local library. You'll also find plenty of other book recommendations.

You could also visit Words for Life for reading tips and ideas.

Play ideas from 4 months

Talk and sing to your baby cheerfully while holding them. You can also put toys near your baby so they can reach for them. Read and look at baby books together.

Play ideas from 18 months

Drawing and painting

Use crayons, felt tips or powder paint.

Firstly, show your child how to hold the crayon or paintbrush. If you do not have paper, you can use the insides of cereal boxes or old envelopes that have been cut open.

Sock puppets

Use socks and envelopes to make hand puppets. Draw faces on them or stick things on to make your own characters. Get the puppets to "talk" to each other, or to you and your child.

Walking

Encourage your child to walk with you (you may want to use reins for safety) as soon as they are able to. It might slow you down, but it's a great way for both of you to get some exercise.

Play ideas from 24 months

Dressing up

Collect old hats, bags, gloves, scarves, nighties, lengths of material, tea towels and curtains. Ask friends and relatives or try jumble sales.

Make sure there are no loose cords, strings or ribbons that could wrap around your child's neck or trip them (or you) up.

Paper plates or cut-up cereal packets make good masks. Cut slits for the eyes and attach them to your face with string or elastic.

TV and screen time

It's best to limit your child's daily screen time.

Always know what your child is watching. Watch with your child, so that you can talk together about what you're watching.

Play ideas from 30 months

Junk modelling

Collect cardboard boxes, cartons, yoghurt pots , milk bottle tops and anything else you can think of. Buy some children's glue (the type that comes with a brush is easiest to use) and help them to make whatever they like.

Toy safety

When buying toys, look for the British Standard kitemark, lion mark or CE mark, which show that the toy meets safety standards.

Take care when buying secondhand toys or toys from market stalls, as they may not meet safety standards and could be dangerous.

Toys usually have age warnings on them. If a toy is marked as "Not suitable for children under 36 months", do not give it to a baby or toddler under 3. Check toys for sharp edges or small parts that your child could swallow.

Button battery warning

Some electrical toys contain small, round batteries called button batteries. As well as being a choking hazard, these can cause severe internal burns if swallowed or lodged in your child's ear or nose.

Keep button batteries well away from your child and make sure that battery compartments on toys are properly secured with a screw.

If you think your child has swallowed a button battery, take them to A&E straight away or call 999.

Toys for children with special needs

Toys for children with special needs should match their developmental age and ability.

If your child is using a toy intended for a younger age group, make sure that it's strong enough and will not get broken.

Children with a visual impairment will need toys with different textures to explore with their hands and mouth.

Children with impaired hearing will need toys to stimulate language, such as toys that encourage them to explore and discover how it relates to their environment.

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Simple ways for children to be creative, including playing with water, reading books, rattles, play dough, drawing and painting, dressing up and making models.

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The Toy Library have lots of groups for infants and children of all ages. They also have a toy loaning service which can support families to access a range of toys for their little ones without costing anything.

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Bolton Toy Library is a registered charity established in 1981, providing therapeutic play opportunities across the borough.

"Our ethos is to improve outcomes for children, young people and vulnerable adults by providing therapeutic play and specialised resources improving their life's chances."

At our base we provide stimulating free play through 'drop ins', play & loan sessions, '1:1 sessions' for parents, grand-parents, and foster carers.

Our skilled staff and volunteers offer a warm welcome; come along to one of our sessions, 'drop in', 'play & loan' and '1:1 sessions' available for families and professionals

we have a wide range of play, specialised, learning resources to meet your developments. All resources are available for loan (average 60p per week). A home delivery service is available for a small charge.

We run a range of activities including seasonal / themed events and a fundraising programme. A range of volunteer opportunities are available.

Childminders, Childcare providers, Nurseries and schools can loan specalist educational needs and disability resources, which can be delivered by our outreach team.

Group visits of children are available by appointment.

Our quality resources meet with Early Years Foundation Stage and have been acknowledged in Ofsted Reports as improving enhanced provision and learning outcomes.

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We are a Registered Charity based at the Harvey Children's Centre, Bolton. We have a wide range of quality resources including specialised resources available for low cost, improving the home learning environment and relieving financial hardship.

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Dad Matters is a wonderful service designed specifically to support dads. This service has a wide range of support options designed to suit various levels of needs.

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Dad Matters Bolton exists to support dads to have the best possible relationship with their families. We work closely with other professionals within Greater Manchester and nationally to better support dads in the first 1001 days of their parenting journey. We offer Outreach services/drop-ins

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On Qwell, you can speak to an experienced professional about anything that’s troubling you, while staying totally anonymous. There are no fees, no long waiting lists, and no judgement. Here’s everything you need to know about one-to-one support on Qwell.

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Dedicated specialist midwifery team provide expert mental health support

Team help women having their baby in Bolton

Wraparound support from team, community and voluntary workers

We are here to reassure and help is the message from specialist mental health midwives at Bolton NHS Foundation Trust.

A dedicated team of expert midwives and support worker provide mental health assistance to women and their partners during their pregnancy journey.

Fran Ireland, Lead Specialist Mental Health Midwife at Bolton NHS Foundation Trust, said:

We offer women individualised support around their mental health needs during pregnancy and up to four weeks post-natal.

"Early identification and assessment for women's mental health needs is so important; during the perinatal period women's mental health can fluctuate so it may be women feel fine and then begin to find things difficult.

"We are here to reassure and to help ensure women get the support they need.

"I love making a difference for women, their partners, families and babies.

Fran had trained as a clinical midwife but after she experienced post-natal anxiety wanted to specialise in making a difference with perinatal women's mental health when she returned to work.

Bolton's specialist mental health midwifery team give support to women once they have booked to have their baby with Bolton NHS Foundation Trust, until baby is four weeks old.

@boltonnhsft Specialist mental health midwife Fran tells you about a patient who remains close to her heart 💙 #fyp #midwife #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #nhs ♬ original sound - boltonnhsft

Approximately 1,500 women and their partners each year at Royal Bolton Hospital and throughout Bolton's communities are referred to the team, who are linked into a number of healthcare, charity and voluntary teams throughout Greater Manchester.

Women are referred to the team by their community midwife, GP or another healthcare professional.

Laura received help from the team when pregnant with her baby having been referred to Bolton's team due to a mental health diagnosis.

She said:

Knowing that somebody is there and it's somebody you can rely on makes all the difference for this.

"I required a lot of support towards the end of my pregnancy when I was having problems with pre-eclampsia, and Fran, Libby and the team really supported me, making sure that I understood everything while I was there.

"If I needed extra accommodations because of my mental health they went to a really great effort, always being there to listen when I needed them and offering support and advice on the mental health front.

Support given to women is variable but is personalised to their individual needs.

George and his partner, Abbie, recently asked for help from Fran and the team during the birth of their first child.

Fran and team assessed Abbie needs and referred her to the perinatal community mental health team, and provided help when she was in Royal Bolton Hospital.

George said:

Abbie had been made redundant just after finding out we were pregnant and everything went downhill, and in the end we just said we needed that help and support.

"The support has been amazing, in and out of the hospital, to help the mind when it needs that little bit extra to get through the days.

"The hardest step is asking for help, but do not battle on by yourself.

"100% ask for help.

@boltonnhsft So many women go through so many struggles with their mental health in pregnancy. Please ask for help! #fyp #nhs #pregnant #pregnanttiktok #help #mentalhealth ♬ original sound - boltonnhsft

Libby Gundlach, Specialist Mental Health Midwives Support Worker at Bolton NHS Foundation Trust, said:

The difference you get to see from a woman coming in and feeling so vulnerable to being seemingly a whole new person, it's amazing.

"There is so much support available for women and we absolutely change lives.

Laura added:

You've got nothing to lose from asking for help, but you've got everything to gain.

"I know sometimes you might be worried about what other people will think about you, but you can't be the best mum that you're going to be without that support.

"Talking about it and getting some support is the best thing for you and your baby.

"You can do this.

Find out more about the maternity services we offer.

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"You can do this" - so many mums helped by Bolton's maternal mental health support - Bolton NHS FT

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We are here to reassure and help is the message from specialist mental health midwives at Bolton NHS Foundation Trust.

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Perinatal Trauma and Loss Service (PETALS)

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Perinatal Trauma and Loss Service (PETALS)

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PETALS is a service to support bereaved parents

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Perinatal Trauma and Loss Service (PETALS) bolton

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Perinatal Trauma and Loss Service (PETALS)

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We are driven by compassion, and we value relationships to help people feel emotionally safe. We work with and alongside you, empowering you to have choice and control over your care. These difficulties can impact everyone in our community, and our service strives to reflect the diversity across Greater Manchester.

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There are 6 baby states that your baby could be in at any one time.

They are;

Deep sleep

Light sleep

Drowsy or dosing

Quiet, alert

Fussing

Crying

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Why should I read to my baby when they can't understand?

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Why should I read to my baby when they can't understand?

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Reading to very small babies can seem silly but research suggests that the earlier you read to your little one the bigger the impact as they grown.

Reading to babies can help with

● Language development

● Understanding of language

● Concentration skills

● Brain development

Not only will it help your baby's development but the act of spending quality one on one time with your baby will make them feels, safe, secure and seen which will help their emotional development and attachment too!

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Specialist perinatal service is the service that supports mother's with perinatal mental health needs up until the baby is one.

You can be referred by your midwife, health visitor, GP, social worker or other health professionals to the specialist perinatal service.

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Community Services

Perinatal Community Mental Health Team across Greater Manchester
Greater Manchester Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust are the new provider for the Specialist Perinatal Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) across Greater Manchester.

The Specialist Perinatal CMHT has been invested in as part of the NHS England Perinatal Mental Health Community Services Development Fund and funding was awarded to Greater Manchester through the Health and Social Care Mental Health Programme.

The Specialist Perinatal CMHT is commissioned to support women who experience high-risk mental health problems during and after pregnancy, and for their infant up to the age of one year.

The team will work to provide assessment, care and treatment including; the prevention, detection and management of maternal mental health problems that complicate pregnancy and the postpartum year. Poorly managed, perinatal mental health problems can have serious consequences for the mother, her infant and other family members. Perinatal mental health problems affect at least 1 in 5 women, with 3-5% of women experiencing a serious psychiatric disorder and the single greatest indirect cause for UK maternal deaths in the perinatal period.

Examples of these illnesses include antenatal and postnatal depression, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder and postpartum psychosis

The team will have a shared care ethos and work closely across Greater Manchester with all Maternity Services, Adult Mental Health Services, Early Years Services, Primary Care, IAPT Services and independent sector organisations to ensure that all health professionals have access to specialist advice and guidance on supporting all women with mental health needs throughout the perinatal period; support to women already using secondary mental health services where psychiatric disorder predates pregnancy, and is expected to continue beyond, plus new referrals of perinatal presentations.

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Community Services Perinatal Community Mental Health Team across Greater Manchester Greater Manchester Mental Health NHS Foundation Trust are the new provider for the Specialist Perinatal Community Mental Health Team (CMHT) across Greater Manchester.

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Having a new baby can often put a lot of strain on a relationship and can cause difficulties and tensions between partners.

The NHS website has some tips about what to do if things are feeling a little tricky and where to seek further support

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Becoming a parent often puts a strain on relationships, regardless of what they were like before.
Part of the problem is that you're tired and have so much less time to spend with friends, family or your partner than you did before the baby arrived.

It's a lot harder to go out together and enjoy the things you used to do. If you have a partner, they may feel left out, and you may resent what you see as a lack of support.

But the stage when babies and children take up all your physical and emotional energy doesn't last forever.

If you're having your first baby, you may feel lonely and cut off from your old life.

A partner can't give you everything you used to get from work and friends. You need other people in your life for support, friendship and a shoulder to cry on.

Take time to listen to your partner

If you have a partner, make time for each other when you can. Do little things to make each other feel cared for and included.

However close you were before the baby was born, your partner can't read your mind. Both your lives are changing, and you have to talk about it. You and your partner need to tell each other what you want and what's bothering you if you're resentful, angry or upset.

Be honest about what you need: do you need a hug or to feel understood?

It's important to talk about how you want to bring up your children. You may find you don't agree on basic matters like discipline and attitudes.

Share the housework and childcare so you can have more time together.

It's important to talk about how you want to bring up your children. You may find you don't agree on basic matters like discipline and attitudes.

Find a way of dealing with these issues without disagreeing in front of your child.

If you think a relationship is in danger of breaking down, help is available.

Help from a trained counsellor or therapist

If you'd like to talk to someone who's not a friend or family, there are lots of ways you can contact a relationship counsellor, some of them for free.

Relationships with family and friends

Bringing a baby into your life changes your relationships with family and friends, whether you're part of a couple or single.

Everyone's situation is different. For example, some mothers feel that their own mothers are taking over, whereas others resent the fact their mothers don't help them more.

It's best to be clear about the kind of help you want, rather than going along with what's offered and feeling resentful.

Your relatives are also getting used to a completely new relationship with you. They won't know what to do for the best unless you tell them.

You may find your old friends stop coming to see you, or they seem to expect you to drop everything and go out for the evening.

This can make keeping up with friends difficult, but explain to them how your life has changed. They may not understand the changes you're going through.

Keep in touch and keep some space for them in your life, as the support of friends can be really valuable.

Domestic abuse and how to get help

Domestic violence, also called domestic abuse, includes physical, emotional and sexual abuse in couple relationships or between family members.

Domestic abuse against women often starts in pregnancy. Existing abuse may get worse during pregnancy or after the birth.

Nobody has to put up with domestic abuse. It puts your health and that of your baby at risk.

There are lots of ways you can get help:

Witnessing domestic abuse can have a serious effect on children. Social workers can help you protect your child. If you wish, they can help you take steps to stop the abuse or find refuge.
Read more advice about recognising the signs of domestic violence and abuse and where to get help

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Advice for new parents on coping with changing relationships, both as a couple and with friends and family, plus what to do if you're a victim of domestic abuse.

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Parents often want to take over play when they worry their baby is not developing certain skills and will often tell baby to "say mama", "this is red say red", "come on you can reach the ball, roll over".

Often the best way to encourage development is to follow their lead. You can say things like "that's a red car" "blue ball" or "mama is here". By you using your language to name what they are doing your baby will notice this and chose to say/do things in their own time which is much much better for their development.

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Spending time together is often more important that trying to "teach" your baby how to do things.

If you are giving your baby all of your attention with no distractions, they will feel safe and secure enough to explore new movements and develop new ways of thinking.

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Groups are often a great way of encouraging children to explore and develop. They can socialise with other babies, notice their movements and developments and try new things for themselves.

It is also a place for parents to discuss their child's development and you will often find that other parents have similar worries to you too!

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All babies cry, and some more than others. Crying is your baby's way of telling you they need comfort and care.
Sometimes it's easy to work out what they want, and sometimes it's not.

The most common reasons for crying are:

hunger

a dirty or wet nappy

tiredness

wanting a cuddle

wind

being too hot or too cold

boredom

overstimulation

There may be times of the day when your baby tends to cry a lot and cannot be comforted. Early evening is the most common time for this to happen.

This can be hard for you, as it's often the time when you're most tired and least able to cope.

The amount babies cry tends to peak when they're around 4 to 8 weeks old, then gradually tail off.

How to calm a crying baby

Try some of the following ways to comfort your baby. Some may work better than others:

If you're breastfeeding, let your baby suckle at your breast.

Having some gentle noise in the background may help distract your baby.

Some older babies like to use a bit of cloth or a blanket as a comforter.

Hold your baby or put them in a sling so they're close to you. Move about gently, sway and dance, talk to them and sing.

Rock your baby backwards and forwards in the pram, or go out for a walk or a drive. But limit how long your baby sleeps in a car seat to up to 30 minutes for newborns and up to 2 hours for babies. Even if they wake up again when you stop, at least you'll have had a break.

Find something for them to listen to or look at. This could be music on the radio, a CD, a rattle, or a mobile above the cot.

Try stroking your baby's back firmly and rhythmically, holding them against you or lying face downwards on your lap.

Undress your baby and massage them gently and firmly. Avoid using any oils or lotions until your baby's at least a month old. Talk soothingly as you do it and keep the room warm enough. Some health centres and clinics run baby massage courses. For information, ask your midwife or health visitor.

Try a warm bath. This calms some babies instantly, but makes others cry even more.

Sometimes too much rocking and singing can keep your baby awake. You might find lying them down after a feed will help.

Ask your health visitor for advice.

Crying during feeds

Some babies cry and seem unsettled around the time of a feed. If you're breastfeeding, you may find that improving your baby's positioning and attachment helps them settle.

You can go to a breastfeeding drop-in group and ask for help if there's one available in your local area.

The Breastfeeding Network's website can provide information on the nearest group to you.

You can also ask your health visitor for advice.

Crying during feeds can sometimes be a symptom of reflux, a common condition where babies bring back milk after feeds.

Speak to your health visitor or GP for more information and advice.

If your baby cries constantly

There are several reasons that can cause a baby to cry excessively.

It can be exhausting if you have tried everything and nothing seems to comfort your baby.

Colic

Excessive crying could be a sign that your baby has colic. Everyone agrees that colic exists, but nobody knows what causes it.

Some doctors think it's a kind of stomach cramp. The crying sounds miserable and distressed, and stops for a moment or two, then starts up again, which suggests it could be caused by waves of stomach pain.

The crying can go on for some hours. There may be little you can do except try to comfort your baby and wait for the crying to pass.
Get tips for coping with colic
Crying and illness

If your baby's crying constantly and you cannot console or distract them, or the cry does not sound like their normal cry, it can be a sign they're ill.

Or they may be ill if they're crying and have other symptoms, such as a high temperature. If this is the case, contact your health visitor, GP or call NHS 111.

Call 999 and ask for an ambulance if your baby:

has a fit (seizure or convulsion)

has blue, mottled, ashen (grey) or very pale skin

is unresponsive, floppy or not waking up as easily as usual

breathes rapidly or makes a throaty noise while breathing, or seems to be working hard to breathe, perhaps sucking in their stomach under their ribcage

is being violently sick a lot (projectile vomiting)

has a high temperature, but their hands and feet feel cold

has a spotty purple-red rash anywhere on the body - this could be a sign of meningitis

Find out the signs of serious illness in your baby
Trust your instincts. You know what's different or worrying behaviour in your baby.

Getting help with a crying baby

You can talk to a friend, your health visitor or GP, or contact the Cry-sis helpline free on 0800 448 0737. It is open 9am to 10pm, 7 days a week.

Cry-sis can put you in touch with other parents who have been in the same situation.

You can also visit the Cry-sis website for information on coping with crying babies.

If you decide to talk to your health visitor or GP, it can help to keep a record of how often and when your baby cries.

For example, this might be after every feed or during the evening. This can help your health visitor or GP to work out if there's a particular cause for the crying.

Keeping a record can also help you identify the times when you need extra support. You could think about possible changes to your routine.

There may be times when you're so tired and angry you feel like you cannot take any more. This happens to a lot of parents, so do not be ashamed to ask for help.

If you do not have anyone who can take care of your baby for a short time and the crying is making you stressed, put your baby in their cot or pram, make sure they're safe, close the door, go into another room and try to calm yourself down.

Set a time limit - for example, 10 minutes - then go back.

Never shake your baby

No matter how frustrated you feel, you must never shake your baby. Shaking moves their head violently and can cause brain damage.

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A crying baby can be exhausting and it can be hard to know what they need, especially in the early days. Use these tips to help soothe them.

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Some babies sleep much more than others. Some sleep for long periods, others in short bursts. Some soon sleep through the night, while some don't for a long time.
Your baby will have their own pattern of waking and sleeping, and it's unlikely to be the same as other babies you know.

It's also unlikely to fit in with your need for sleep. Try to sleep when your baby sleeps.

If you're breastfeeding, in the early weeks your baby is likely to doze off for short periods during a feed. Carry on feeding until you think your baby has finished or until they're fully asleep. This is a good opportunity to try to get a bit of rest yourself.

If you're not sleeping at the same time as your baby, don't worry about keeping the house silent while they sleep. It's good to get your baby used to sleeping through a certain amount of noise.

How can I get my baby used to night and day?

It's a good idea to teach your baby that night-time is different from daytime from the start. During the day, open curtains, play games and don't worry too much about everyday noises when they sleep.

At night, you might find it helpful to:

keep the lights down low

not talk much and keep your voice quiet

put your baby down as soon as they've been fed and changed

not change your baby unless they need it

not play with your baby

Your baby will gradually learn that night-time is for sleeping.

Where should my baby sleep?

For the first 6 months your baby should be in the same room as you when they're asleep, both day and night. This can reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

Particularly in the early weeks, you may find your baby only falls asleep in your or your partner's arms, or when you're standing by the cot.

You can start getting your baby used to going to sleep without you comforting them by putting them down before they fall asleep or when they've just finished a feed. It may be easier to do this once your baby starts to stay alert more frequently or for longer.

If you use a baby sling to carry your baby, make sure you use it safely. The Lullaby Trust has information about swaddling your baby and using slings safely.

Establishing a baby bedtime routine

You may feel ready to introduce a bedtime routine when your baby is around 3 months old. Getting them into a simple, soothing bedtime routine can be a great opportunity to have 1-to-1 time with your baby.

The routine could consist of:

having a bath

changing into night clothes and a fresh nappy

putting them to bed

reading a bedtime story (see more in Baby and toddler play ideas)

dimming the lights in the room to create a calm atmosphere

giving a goodnight kiss and cuddle

singing a lullaby or having a wind-up musical mobile you can turn on when you've put your baby to bed

brushing their teeth (if they have any)

As your child gets older, it can be helpful to keep to a similar bedtime routine. Too much excitement and stimulation just before bedtime can wake your child up again. Spend some time winding down and doing some calmer activities, like reading.

How much sleep does your baby need?

Just as with adults, babies' and children's sleep patterns vary. From birth, some babies need more or less sleep than others. The list below shows the average amount of sleep babies and children need during a 24-hour period, including daytime naps.

Newborn sleep needs

Most newborn babies are asleep more than they are awake. Their total daily sleep varies, but can be from 8 hours up to 16 or 18 hours. Babies will wake during the night because they need to be fed. Being too hot or too cold can also disturb their sleep.

Sleep requirements at 3 to 6 months old

As your baby grows, they'll need fewer night feeds and will be able to sleep for longer. Some babies will sleep for 8 hours or longer at night, but not all. By 4 months, they may be spending around twice as long sleeping at night as they do during the day.

Baby sleep at 6 to 12 months

For babies aged 6 months to a year, night feeds may no longer be necessary and some babies will sleep for up to 12 hours at night. Teething discomfort or hunger may wake some babies during the night.

Sleep requirements from 12 months

Babies will sleep for around 12 to 15 hours in total after their first birthday.

2-year-old sleep needs

Most 2 year olds will sleep for 11 to 12 hours at night, with 1 or 2 naps in the daytime.

Sleep requirements for 3 to 4 year olds

Most children aged 3 or 4 will need about 12 hours sleep, but this can range from 8 hours up to 14. Some young children will still need a nap during the day.

Coping with disturbed nights

Newborn babies invariably wake up repeatedly in the night for the first few months, and disturbed nights can be very hard to cope with.

If you have a partner, ask them to help. If you're formula feeding, encourage your partner to share the feeds. If you're breastfeeding, ask your partner to take over the early morning changing and dressing so you can go back to sleep.

Once you're into a good breastfeeding routine, your partner could occasionally give a bottle of expressed breast milk during the night. If you're on your own, you could ask a friend or relative to stay for a few days so you can get some sleep.

Dealing with baby sleep pattern changes

All babies change their sleep patterns. Just when you think you have it sorted and you've all had a good night's sleep, the next night you might be up every 2 hours.

Be prepared to change routines as your baby grows and enters different stages. And remember, growth spurts, teething and illnesses can all affect how your baby sleeps.

If your baby is having problems sleeping or you need more advice about getting into a routine, speak to your health visitor.

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Read tips on how to help your baby sleep, including what to expect, establishing a routine, and safe sleeping.

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Will cuddling my baby all the time make them clingy? 

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Will cuddling my baby all the time make them clingy? 

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We have all heard tales and myths about babies becoming too clingy the more we hold and cuddle them, but recent research suggests this is NOT true!

As humans, most of us like physical touch, it is in our biology. For a small baby who has been inside your tummy for months coming into a cold, loud, bright, smelly outside world is scary and they are no longer safe and attached to you at all times, its is ESSENTIAL .

You cuddling them is necessary communication to help ease that frightened feeling and help them understand that they are safe in this big scary outside world.

The research suggests that adults who were held and cuddled as babies and children are MORE likely to be healthy and well adjusted.

So go ahead! Cuddle your baby as long as you like :)

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Together, for every baby - Charity for Babies | Tommy’s

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Tommy’s is the largest UK pregnancy and baby loss charity, funding research into stillbirth, premature birth and miscarriage and providing trusted pregnancy and baby loss information and support.

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My baby always cries when I leave the room

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My baby always cries when I leave the room

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Having your baby or infant cry when you leave the room can be difficult and evoke strong emotions for parents especially if your baby has been previously settled when you leave.

This is often a really normal stage of development for infants but can be tricky to manage. See the NHS website for more information on how to manage this in a helpful way.

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Babies and toddlers often get clingy and cry if you or their other carers leave them, even for a short time.
Separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common in young children between the ages of 6 months and 3 years, but it's a normal part of your child's development and they usually grow out of it.

Why separation anxiety happens

If your baby used to be calm when you left the room and they were happy to be held by people they didn't know, it may not seem to make sense when they start crying whenever you're not there or strangers are close.

But separation anxiety is a sign your baby now realises how dependent they are on the people who care for them. That can include their grandparents or professionals closely involved with their care, as well as their parents.

As they get more aware of their surroundings, your baby's strong relationship with this small group means they don't feel so safe without you. Their growing awareness of the world around them can also make them feel unsafe or upset in new situations or with new people, even if you are there.

How to handle separation anxiety

Separation anxiety can make it difficult to leave your baby at nursery or in someone else's care. You may feel distressed by their tears and worry about the effect on your baby every time you need to leave them.

Remember, it's only natural for your baby to feel anxious without you, so there's no reason to feel guilty when you need to get on with other parts of your life. In fact, separation anxiety is usually a sign of how well you have bonded with them.

Instead, you can focus on helping your baby understand and deal with their feelings so they feel more secure. They'll learn that if you leave them, they will be OK and you will come back. If your baby's old enough, you can talk to them about what's happening, where you're going and when you'll be with them again.

By leaving your baby with another caregiver, you won't damage them. You're actually helping them learn to cope without you, and that's an important step towards their growing independence. Don't be too hard on yourself - separation anxiety is common and it's normal.

Tips for separation anxiety

Practise short separations from your baby to begin with

You could start by leaving them in someone else's care for a few minutes while you nip to the local shop. Leave your baby with someone they know well so they still feel comfortable and safe in your absence. Gradually work towards longer separations, and then leaving them in less familiar settings.

Talk about what you'll do together later

Talk to your toddler about what you're going to do when you see them again so they have something to look forward to with you. For example, you could say: "When Mummy comes back to pick you up, we'll go to the shop together to get food for dinner."

Leave something comforting with your baby

It may comfort your baby to have something they identify with you - like a scarf with your scent on or a favourite toy - close by. This may reassure them while you are away.

Make saying goodbye a positive time

When you leave your baby, however sad or worried you may be feeling, smile and wave goodbye confidently and happily, otherwise they will pick up on your tension. By giving your baby experience of saying goodbye then having happy reunions, you are teaching them an important life lesson.

When to get help for separation anxiety

It's completely natural for babies and toddlers to cry when they part from their main caregiver. But as babies get older, they're more able to understand that people and things exist even when they can't see them.

Until that happens, it's important your baby's anxiety doesn't stop them getting the most from new experiences like socialising and learning at nursery. And it shouldn't stop you going to work.

If your child's separation anxiety is causing them a lot of distress, they are upset for a long time after you have left them, or it has been going on for more than a few weeks, talk to your health visitor.

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Babies and toddlers often get clingy and cry if you or their other carers leave them, even for a short time. Separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common in young children between the ages of 6 months and 3 years, but it's a normal part of your child's development and they usually grow out of it.

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PAIRS are currently running a 'Your baby and you' - a 3 week antenatal group designed to support parents who may be worried about the adjustment to parenthood or about baby's arrival.

For information about the next group dates, please get in touch with us (see email below)

The sessions are as follows:

•        Session 1 – Your baby is already a little person and interacting with your baby

•        Session 3 – Thoughts and worries and what to do

•        Session 4 – When to worry and how/where to get support

Please complete the attached registration form and send to yourbabyandyou.PAIRS@gmmh.nhs.uk to register interest or enquire

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I am frightened to leave my baby with anyone else 

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I am frightened to leave my baby with anyone else 

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Separating from your baby can feel like a very big deal to parents and we can often feel guilty for taking time for ourselves or going back to work.

Its important to remember that babies are resilient and this struggle will pass for both of you.

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I have no one else to leave my baby with, so they only know me 

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I have no one else to leave my baby with, so they only know me 

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In 1981 a small group of parents, who were experiencing problems with their crying and sleepless babies, set up a support group. They discovered how important support is and how reassuring it can be to talk to someone. Today that support group has become The Cry-sis Helpline, the only UK charity offering help and support to parents with babies who cry excessively or have sleeping problems.

THE CRY-SIS HELPLINE  0800 448 0737

Lines open 7 days a week 9am-10pm

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Who we are

In 1981 a small group of parents, who were experiencing problems with their crying and sleepless babies, set up a support group. They discovered how important support is and how reassuring it can be to talk to someone. Today that support group has become Cry-sis, the only UK charity offering help and support to parents with babies who cry excessively or have sleeping problems. From modest beginnings Cry-sis has become a well-respected national charity which:

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Support For Crying And Sleepless Babies | Cry-sis

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Cry-sis, the only UK charity offering help and support to parents with babies who cry excessively or have sleeping problems. Call the helpline now...

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PAIRS stands for Parent and Infant Relationships service. We are part of the NHS and offer a wide range of therapeutic interventions to parents and carers who are expecting a baby or have a child/children under the age of 2 and have significant struggles in their relationships or in terms of their emotional wellbeing.

BIM stands for Baby in Mind and is a universal service which offers information, advice, guidance and training to professionals, parents and carers across Bolton.

Our staff are highly skilled practitioners from a wide variety of professional backgrounds including nursing, health visiting, psychology and psychoanalytic psychotherapy.

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In 1981 a small group of parents, who were experiencing problems with their crying and sleepless babies, set up a support group. They discovered how important support is and how reassuring it can be to talk to someone. Today that support group has become The Cry-sis Helpline, the only UK charity offering help and support to parents with babies who cry excessively or have sleeping problems.

THE CRY-SIS HELPLINE  0800 448 0737

Lines open 7 days a week 9am-10pm

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Who we are

In 1981 a small group of parents, who were experiencing problems with their crying and sleepless babies, set up a support group. They discovered how important support is and how reassuring it can be to talk to someone. Today that support group has become Cry-sis, the only UK charity offering help and support to parents with babies who cry excessively or have sleeping problems. From modest beginnings Cry-sis has become a well-respected national charity which:

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Support For Crying And Sleepless Babies | Cry-sis

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Cry-sis, the only UK charity offering help and support to parents with babies who cry excessively or have sleeping problems. Call the helpline now...

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It can often feel tricky to manage difficult feelings within siblings, especially when new arrivals come along/dynamics shift in the family.

As parents its important to allow space for these feelings and help children understand and make sense of what's happening for them, this can be done through play, talking to them, carving out special time together, worry monsters, drawings, stories and much much more.

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This section is all about the new and exciting things that are coming in the near future from the BIM and PAIRS team.

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Community infant feeding team ( NHS support for  any difficulties with infant feeding) 

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Community infant feeding team ( NHS support for  any difficulties with infant feeding) 

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Telephone number: 01204 462339.

Family can self refer to the community infant feeding for babies from birth to 6 weeks of age.

Family can contact the team with any query, questions or support needed with any method of feeding within the first six weeks.

The community infant feeding team can refer you on for further support after 6 weeks of liaise with your health visitor around on going feeding support.

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If a group is not suitable for you due to your mental health, childcare commitments and or due date We can offer this course individually for you and your family in a condensed version.

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Toddler Bonding is a programme that guides and empowers parents and carers to develop a secure relationship with their toddlers while supporting the social and emotional development of your toddlers.

We are currently planning session dates and time but if you would like to prebook a space or be contacted directly with information please contact the team.

Please get in touch to book a place Babyinmind.PAIRS@gmmh.nhs.uk

Or call 01204483222 and ask to speak to a member of the baby in mind team.