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This is a photo of my mom and me. Coming to college, I haven't been able to spend much time with her, so seeing her at my aunt's wedding was very endearing.

My mom has worked so much for me and my family. Immigrating from Korea at the age of 23, my mom showed so much dedication and strong work ethic to gain many achievements. However, with the struggles of the job market, it wasn't the easiest for my mom to find a job she enjoyed. In Ann Crittenden's paper, "The Mommy Tax," Crittenden discusses the injustice in job opportunities for women. Crittenden presents the question of "Why do working mothers earn so much less than childless women?" To me, there isn't really a clear answer. It's hard to imagine my mom struggling to juggle the inequality in work environments and caring for her children. It's sad that she had to endure so much so that I could live a more comfortable life.

Yet, in his work, "Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference," Andre Lorde introduces the quote: "We find ourselves having to repeat and relearn the same old lessons over and over that our mothers did," due to our lack of listening. I see this with my mom and I. There are so many lessons that I've learned from my mom, that I need to take into account before it is too late. One of these being who I surround myself with, and who I want to spend the rest of my life with. I know it would hurt my mom dearly if she sees me relearn the lessons she had to. I try my hardest to make my mom proud, as she has helped me discover my confidence of growing into womanhood.

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Recently, my friends and I have been hitting various café spots around the Riverside and LA areas to study. Changing up my environment to focus on my studies, it brings me back to when I would worry so much about college applications. The atmosphere of a coffee shop filled with students studying reminds me of the pressure of finals week. Growing up, I've always had the pressure to do well in school. Not only was it pressure from my family, I felt like the stereotypes of being Asian-American and performing well in school have pushed me to work harder as well. Judy Wu highlights the stereotypical "model minority" myth in her work, "Asian American Feminisms and Women of Color Politics." She mentions how with this myth, "Asian Americans generally came to represent a counterpoint to social activism." The model minority myth projects Asian Americans as "successful" individuals within a minority. Which may seem like an achieving title, this myth perceives Asian Americans as submissive to "social activism."

I have found myself to work harder in school, as I have compared myself to other students on campus. The myth supports the idea that Asian Americans are more unlikely to be involved in political movements and shape themselves to fit the stereotype society has placed on the group. When I work for school, I'm reminded that I am working hard for myself and my future, not to fit into some mold society expects from Asian Americans.

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Over the break, I was able to rekindle with some of my friends. Similar to how Lisa M. Diamond says in her essay, “Having a Girlfriend Without Knowing It,” “many women recall intense but platonic adolescent friendships.” In her work, Diamond connects platonic friendships of women to the same feelings of those in romantic relationships. The friends I have in my life right now are so endearing to me, and I see them as extensions of myself. It's to the point where I can "notice little things" about their appearances, habits, and other behaviors.

I'm talking about this piece of work and my friendships, as they have shaped the person I am today. I am reminded how the people I surround myself with are so important. The friends I have collected throughout my adolescence have taught me so much about womanhood, dependence, and confidence. These characteristics are similar to the same that Diamond talks about. In a way, the friendships that I have with individuals have influenced how I perceive romantic relationships with others.

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At a recent wedding, my baby cousins were able to attend the ceremony. While observing them play, it made me reflect on each generation within my family. In Andre Lorde's work, "Age, Race, Class, and Sex: Women Redefining Difference," the idea of a "generational gap," is discussed. He goes on to talk on how younger individuals should rekindle with older members of a community in order to "examine the living memories of the community." During this wedding, I was able to share my lessons with my cousin, while simultaneously learning from the generation above me. I have also found myself relearning the "same old lessons," from let's say my older aunts.

I see how much my relatives have grown. My aunts have grown into mature, wise women. I also am observing how much my younger cousins are growing up. With the picture above, I hope that my baby cousins grow into confident women, and embrace the friendships, family, and other relationships that have throughout their lives.

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I was able to celebrate my grandma’s birthday with her this year. It was only my grandpa, sister, and I who were able to spend the special day with my grandma, so we made it a priority to fill the house with great food and love for Halmoni. I remember during dinner, my sister had asked my grandma what her dream was when she was younger. My grandma replied with, “I just wanted to make money, really.” It was at that moment, where I didn’t really know how to feel. Her answer made me feel downhearted for my grandma’s childhood, how she only saw her future as a way to make money. Immigrating to the United States, it was difficult for my grandma to find a job; She was an immigrant who didn't know a single word in English. Though she wasn't raised in the States, my grandma had to learn to accommodate to the Western job market. As mentioned in Judy Tzu-Chan Wu's work, Asian American Feminisms and Women of Color Politics, "growing up in the United States: your whole identity was not Asian." In a sense, my grandma did lose a part of her Korean identity; She left a part of herself back in Seoul when she moved to America.

My grandma raised me my entire childhood when my parents were working. I remember her attempting to push Korean values and norms into my lifestyle, and I felt kind of embarrassed. Continuing on, Chan explains, "Your identity was just, like you wanted to be a white person." I include this picture of my grandparents, as they remind me of why I proud of my Korean identity. I'm grateful for how much they have sacrificed to start my life here. I'm grateful I was able to celebrate my grandma's birthday this year.

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As I studied this course, it became more apparent on how the topics learned through the media and readings offered in GSST001 play significance in my own life. During this quarter, I was able to learn more on gender representation and origins of terms I hadn't known as well beforehand. With this photo essay, I hope to showcase how the readings that touched closest to my heart, are seen in my everyday household and family life.