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We brought together UNICEF specialists, international cyberbullying and child protection experts, and teamed up with Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok and Twitter to answer some of the most common questions about online bullying and give advice on ways to deal with it.

What is cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is bullying with the use of digital technologies. It can take place on social media, messaging platforms, gaming platforms and mobile phones. It is repeated behaviour, aimed at scaring, angering or shaming those who are targeted. Examples include:

spreading lies about or posting embarrassing photos or videos of someone on social media

sending hurtful, abusive or threatening messages, images or videos via messaging platforms

impersonating someone and sending mean messages to others on their behalf or through fake accounts.

Face-to-face bullying and cyberbullying can often happen alongside each other. But cyberbullying leaves a digital footprint - a record that can prove useful and provide evidence to help stop the abuse.
If you are worried about your safety or something that has happened to you online, you can seek help by calling your national helpline. If your country does not have a helpline, please urgently speak to an adult you trust or seek professional support from trained and experienced carers.

1. Am I being bullied online? How do you tell the difference between a joke and bullying?

All friends joke around with each other, but sometimes it's hard to tell if someone is just having fun or trying to hurt you, especially online. Sometimes they'll laugh it off with a "just kidding," or "don't take it so seriously."

But if you feel hurt or think others are laughing at you instead of with you, then the joke has gone too far. If it continues even after you've asked the person to stop and you are still feeling upset about it, then this could be bullying.

And when the bullying takes place online, it can result in unwanted attention from a wide range of people including strangers. Wherever it may happen, if you are not happy about it, you should not have to stand for it.

Call it what you will - if you feel bad and it doesn't stop, then it's worth getting help. Stopping cyberbullying is not just about calling out bullies, it's also about recognizing that everyone deserves respect - online and in real life.

2. What are the effects of cyberbullying?

When bullying happens online it can feel as if you're being attacked everywhere, even inside your own home. It can seem like there's no escape. The effects can last a long time and affect a person in many ways:

Mentally - feeling upset, embarrassed, stupid, even afraid or angry

Emotionally - feeling ashamed or losing interest in the things you love

Physically - tired (loss of sleep), or experiencing symptoms like stomach aches and headaches

The feeling of being laughed at or harassed by others, can prevent people from speaking up or trying to deal with the problem. In extreme cases, cyberbullying can even lead to people taking their own lives.

Cyberbullying can affect us in many ways. But these can be overcome and people can regain their confidence and health.

3. How can cyberbullying affect my mental health?

When you experience cyberbullying you might start to feel ashamed, nervous, anxious and insecure about what people say or think about you. This can lead to withdrawing from friends and family, negative thoughts and self-talk, feeling guilty about things you did or did not do, or feeling that you are being judged negatively. Feeling lonely, overwhelmed, frequent headaches, nausea or stomachaches are also common.

You can lose your motivation to do the things that you usually enjoy doing and feel isolated from the people you love and trust. This can perpetuate negative feelings and thoughts which can adversely affect your mental health and well-being.

Skipping school is another common effect of cyberbullying and can affect the mental health of young people who turn to substances like alcohol and drugs or violent behaviour to deal with their psychological and physical pain. Talking to a friend, family member or school counsellor you trust can be a first step to getting help.

The effects of cyberbullying on mental health can vary depending on the medium through which it happens. For example, bullying via text messaging or through pictures or videos on social media platforms has proven to be very harmful for adolescents.

4. Who should I talk to if someone is bullying me online? Why is reporting important?

If you think you're being bullied, the first step is to seek help from someone you trust such as your parents, a close family member or another trusted adult.

In your school you can reach out to a counsellor, the sports coach or your favourite teacher - either online or in person.

And if you are not comfortable talking to someone you know, search for a helpline in your country to talk to a professional counsellor.

If the bullying is happening on a social platform, consider blocking the bully and formally reporting their behaviour on the platform itself. Social media companies are obligated to keep their users safe.

For bullying to stop, it needs to be identified and reporting it is key.

It can be helpful to collect evidence - text messages and screen shots of social media posts - to show what's been going on.

For bullying to stop, it needs to be identified and reporting it is key. It can also help to show the bully that their behaviour is unacceptable.

If you are in immediate danger, then you should contact the police or emergency services in your country.

5. I'm experiencing cyberbullying, but I'm afraid to talk to my parents about it. How can I approach them?

If you are experiencing cyberbullying, speaking to a trusted adult - someone you feel safe talking to - is one of the most important first steps you can take.

Talking to parents isn't easy for everyone. But there are things you can do to help the conversation. Choose a time to talk when you know you have their full attention. Explain how serious the problem is for you. Remember, they might not be as familiar with technology as you are, so you might need to help them to understand what's happening.

They might not have instant answers for you, but they are likely to want to help and together you can find a solution. Two heads are always better than one! If you are still unsure about what to do, consider reaching out to other trusted people. There are often more people who care about you and are willing to help than you might think!

6. How can I help my friends report a case of cyberbullying especially if they don't want to do it?

Anyone can become a victim of cyberbullying. If you see this happening to someone you know, try to offer support.

It is important to listen to your friend. Why don't they want to report being cyberbullied? How are they feeling? Let them know that they don't have to formally report anything, but it's crucial to talk to someone who might be able to help.

Anyone can become a victim of cyberbullying.

Remember, your friend may be feeling fragile. Be kind to them. Help them think through what they might say and to whom. Offer to go with them if they decide to report. Most importantly, remind them that you're there for them and you want to help.

If your friend still does not want to report the incident, then support them in finding a trusted adult who can help them deal with the situation. Remember that in certain situations the consequences of cyberbullying can be life threatening.

Doing nothing can leave the person feeling that everyone is against them or that nobody cares. Your words can make a difference.

7. How do we stop cyberbullying without giving up access to the Internet?

Being online has so many benefits. However, like many things in life, it comes with risks that you need to protect against.

If you experience cyberbullying, you may want to delete certain apps or stay offline for a while to give yourself time to recover. But getting off the Internet is not a long-term solution. You did nothing wrong, so why should you be disadvantaged? It may even send the bullies the wrong signal - encouraging their unacceptable behaviour.

We need to be thoughtful about what we share or say that may hurt others.

We all want cyberbullying to stop, which is one of the reasons reporting cyberbullying is so important. But creating the Internet we want goes beyond calling out bullying. We need to be thoughtful about what we share or say that may hurt others. We need to be kind to one another online and in real life. It's up to all of us!

8. How do I prevent my personal information from being used to manipulate or humiliate me on social media?

Think twice before posting or sharing anything on digital platforms - it may be online forever and could be used to harm you later. Don't give out personal details such as your address, telephone number or the name of your school.

Learn about the privacy settings of your favourite social media apps. Here are some actions you can take on many of them:

You can decide who can see your profile, send you direct messages or comment on your posts by adjusting your account privacy settings.

You can report hurtful comments, messages, photos and videos and request they be removed.

Besides 'unfriending', you can completely block people to stop them from seeing your profile or contacting you.

You can also choose to have comments by certain people to appear only to them without completely blocking them.

You can delete posts on your profile or hide them from specific people.

On most of your favourite social media, people aren't notified when you block, restrict or report them.

9. Is there a punishment for cyberbullying?

Most schools take bullying seriously and will take action against it. If you are being cyberbullied by other students, report it to your school.

People who are victims of any form of violence, including bullying and cyberbullying, have a right to justice and to have the offender held accountable.

Laws against bullying, particularly on cyberbullying, are relatively new and still do not exist everywhere. This is why many countries rely on other relevant laws, such as ones against harassment, to punish cyberbullies.

In countries that have specific laws on cyberbullying, online behaviour that deliberately causes serious emotional distress is seen as criminal activity. In some of these countries, victims of cyberbullying can seek protection, prohibit communication from a specified person and restrict the use of electronic devices used by that person for cyberbullying, temporarily or permanently.

However, it is important to remember that punishment is not always the most effective way to change the behaviour of bullies. Sometimes, focusing on repairing the harm and mending the relationship can be better.

10. Technology companies don't seem to care about online bullying and harassment. Are they being held responsible?

Technology companies are increasingly paying attention to the issue of online bullying.

Many of them are introducing ways to address it and better protect their users with new tools, guidance and ways to report online abuse.

But it is true that more is needed. Many young people experience cyberbullying every day. Some face extreme forms of online abuse. Some have taken their own lives as a result.

Technology companies have a responsibility to protect their users especially children and young people.

It is up to all of us to hold them accountable when they're not living up to these responsibilities.

11. Are there any online anti-bullying tools for children or young people?

Each social platform offers different tools (see available ones below) that allow you to restrict who can comment on or view your posts or who can connect automatically as a friend, and to report cases of bullying. Many of them involve simple steps to block, mute or report cyberbullying. We encourage you to explore them.

Social media companies also provide educational tools and guidance for children, parents and teachers to learn about risks and ways to stay safe online.

Also, the first line of defense against cyberbullying could be you. Think about where cyberbullying happens in your community and ways you can help - by raising your voice, calling out bullies, reaching out to trusted adults or by creating awareness of the issue. Even a simple act of kindness can go a long way.

The first line of defense against cyberbullying could be you.

If you are worried about your safety or something that has happened to you online, urgently speak to an adult you trust. Many countries have a special helpline you can call for free and talk to someone anonymously. Visit United for Global Mental Health to find help in your country.

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Cyberbullying: What is it and how to stop it

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What teens want to know about cyberbullying

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Sometimes, even when the mood is right, it can be tough to figure out what to say when you're sexting. Nerves can take over, as can the fear of sounding too cheesy. But that doesn't mean you can't turn yourself into a sexting genius with a little practice - or, you know, by pulling from an online list of sample sexting ideas.

But before you figure out what to say to initiate a sexy conversation, it may be helpful to know that sexting is incredibly common. According to a 2019 study from the Sexuality, Sexual Health & Sexual Behavior Lab in the Texas Tech University Department of Psychological Sciences, sexting is also a really great way to communicate sexual desires to your partner - aka, all the stuff you really want to try in bed but may be too nervous to talk about face-to-face.

As doctoral student Kassidy Cox noted in the study, "People used to write love poems and steamy letters, then when photography became more commonplace, couples used to take boudoir photos for each other." So, it stands to reason that sexting is the next evolution of how couples communicate, flirt, and engage in foreplay. Even Jack and Rose knew what was up ("paint me like one of your French girls," anyone?).

Is Sexting OK In A Relationship?

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The short answer is yes (usually). Carol Queen, Ph.D., sex educator and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations, tells Bustle that sexting is absolutely OK in a relationship if the circumstances are right. For one, you should trust the person not to share the material with anyone even if you break up, and make sure that you both actually want to do it. "Even better if you talk specifically about sexting and agree on what counts as sexting, plus likes and limits," Queen suggests. "If someone is urging you to cross your own boundaries, don't do it." Also, they emphasize that you must own your phone - please do not sext your partner on a work phone where your boss or an HR person can freely scroll through your dirty messages.

Queen also says to be sure you're sexting privately and not involving other people, "i.e. doing it where your phone could easily be seen by someone else who hasn't consented to see something that intimate or sexual." Finally, Queen reminds sexters that in most states, people under 18 cannot legally send erotic photos of themselves. "That would change the 'is it OK' answer to no, at least in terms of photos." You and your partner must both be legal adults who mutually consent to the texts you send and receive.

The 2019 Texas Tech study also pointed out that sexting isn't always about sex, but it may be a way for many couples to feel close and connected. You might sext as a way to gain affirmation or to relieve anxiety, which can come in handy when you're in a long-distance relationship and aren't able to see each other other day. Whatever the reason for sexting may be, here are 50 examples of sexy messages you can send to your partner to get a hot convo going.

Send Sexy Previews Of What's To Come

"These are a wonderful way to build excitement before a date or when reuniting after one of you has been away," Queen tells Bustle. And if you're in a long-distance relationship, the buildup from these juicy texts are going to make the reunion that much steamier. "This is actually a strategy many sex therapists and sexologists would recommend for people who need to add some excitement into a sexual relationship," Queen adds.

Text Them Your Sexual Requests

These are not only hot, but also a conduit of super healthy sexual communication. "Sexting can actually be a bridge to talking directly with your partner about things that are important to you sexually," explains Queen. "Even if you can't find the words in person, you can add your actual wishes and requests in a sexy text." Then you can bring it up in person and tell them you meant what you said - just be careful not to get carried away and say you're down for something in a text that you actually aren't comfortable with IRL.

Tell Them Things You Like To Fantasize About

Addictive Stock / Lightsy/Addictive Stock/Getty Images

"This is especially great when you want to introduce a fantasy ... and if you are the 'we can tell each other everything' types, this can give all kinds of erotic fodder (and narrative structure) to your sexts," offers Queen. But remember you don't have to reveal all your deepest fantasies. "It's also okay to keep them private," she says.

Send Them Naughty, Teasing Texts

So hot for a long-distance couple. "Like sexy previews," says Queen, "this helps amp up a sexual charge." It's an incredibly fun and effective form of foreplay. "Teasing can also shade into kink play," adds Queen, "if that's something you both like."

Share Past Memories From A Steamy Night

Bringing up your spiciest memories with your partner is a great way to build intimacy and relationship continuity, Queen tells Bustle. If you are the type of duo that spill all your secrets to each other, "that opens up telling tales from your past, too," says Queen. "But only do that if you are both super comfortable about it (and it can be done without revealing private info about an ex)."

Shower Them With Flirty Compliments

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This is a good idea for anyone, but especially for those who have a little bit of a praise kink. "Who doesn't love to hear how hot and good in bed they are?" says Queen. "Use compliments to reinforce true things you love about them and having sex with them."

When You Want To Respond But Can't Think Of Anything To Say (Or Are Too Busy)

Sometimes the sexting ideas don't flow to the brain fast enough, and it's hard to think of what to respond on a whim - or maybe your partner is just way more into it and it's tough to match that. Try using simple phrases, Queen suggests, like "me too" and "I can't wait." "Then saying something about the next time you get together or the last time you had sex," they say. "Or fish for compliments! 'What are the top three things you love about me?'"

More Sexting Tips

These sample sexts should cover just about any scenario and will help you ease into the world of sexting. But if you still feel unsure, feel free to adjust the lingo to stay inside your comfort zone language-wise.

And finally, you can always adjust the level of explicitness, at least to start. Dirty talk doesn't have to be X-rated to be sexy, and sometimes playing coy is actually more fun. For example, you could say, "Wait until you see what I've got on underneath my work clothes," and leave it at that. Just like that, you and your partner will officially be sexting.
Studies referenced: Drouin, M., Coupe, M., & Temple, J. R. (2017). Is sexting good for your relationship? It depends .... Computers in Human Behavior, 75, 749-756. doi: 10.1016/j.chb.2017.06.018 Young, G. (n.d.). Texas Tech Today. Retrieved April 06, 2021, from Carol Queen, Ph.D., sex educator and staff sexologist at Good Vibrations https://today.ttu.edu/posts/2019/11/Stories/sexting-isnt-just-about-sex

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50 Genius Sexting Ideas To Use Right Now

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