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Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success | Louise Evans | TEDxGenova

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Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success | Louise Evans | TEDxGenova

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Free personality test - take it to find out why our readers say that this personality test is so accurate, "it's a little bit creepy." No registration required!

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How Emotionally Intelligent Are You? - Boosting Your People Skills

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Let's look at how you can develop good skills in each area.

Self-Awareness (Questions 1, 8, 11)

In his 1995 book "Emotional Intelligence: Why it can Matter More Than IQ," Goleman explained that people with high self-awareness are "aware of their moods as they are having them." [2]

To increase self-awareness, learn about mindfulness. This involves focusing on the present moment - including how you're feeling. And keep a journal in which you write about and analyze the emotional situations you experience from day to day.

Self-Regulation (Questions 2, 4, 7)

Motivation (Questions 6, 10, 12)

Self-motivation is strongly affected by your emotions. When you're distracted by your emotions, you may find it hard to see tasks through.

Boost your motivation levels by developing self-discipline, and by looking for and celebrating small wins - simple jobs that, when you've completed them, give you a sense of achievement.

Empathy (Questions 3, 13, 15)

Empathy is the ability to recognize other people's emotions and understand their perspectives. Goleman calls this aspect of EI "the fundamental people skill."

Social Skills (Questions 5, 9, 14)

Even if you're not a natural "people person," it is possible to develop better social skills.

Start by taking our quiz to see which communication skills you need to improve on. Then, find out how you can develop trust and rapport with people - this is an essential part of building good working relationships.
Key Points
Self-awareness.

Self-regulation.

Motivation.

Empathy.

Social skills.

Five Ways to Show Emotional Intelligence Infographic

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How Emotionally Intelligent Are You? - Boosting Your People Skills

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Take this quiz to find out how strong you are in five areas of emotional intelligence, and learn what you can do to boost it.

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This week (week 2) I completed the ‘16 personalities’ test. I found this very interesting and it really challenged my thought process, encouraging me to answer questions I had never considered the answer to. Some of the questions felt slightly invasive and difficult to answer as I felt I had to consider some of my insecurities. The result of the test concluded that I am a ‘Campaigner’ (Type: ENFP-T), meaning that I am an ‘enthusiastic, creative, and sociable free spirit, who can always find a reason to smile’ which I would say is an accurate description of me and a good reflection of how others have described me throughout my life. I am 52% extroverted, which surprised me, as although I enjoy being sociable to an extent, I find comfort in my own company and sometimes choose to avoid social situations. The results also stated that I am 65% intuitive, meaning that I am ‘imaginative, open-minded, curious’ and that I look for ‘hidden meanings’; I also would agree with this analysis as I enjoy reading, watching films and watching tv series and I often spend time evaluating the stories, interpreting the writers intentions and finding out more about what I read and watch. Results also showed that I value emotional expression which I would agree with and believe is a positive thing. On a more reflective note, the results also said I am 75% turbulent meaning I am ‘self-conscious and sensitive to stress’ which often comes alongside being a perfectionist, this is something I feel I need to learn to manage to be more efficient in my everyday life as it’s something that can restrict my progress.

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This week (week 8), we learnt about the 5 chair theory by watching Louise Evans’ Ted Talk. The 5 chairs represent 5 different emotional behaviours that humans often go through and experience throughout everyday life.
Louise explains how each ‘chair’ represents a different attitude.

RED CHAIR - ATTACK
The red chair represents being judgemental and seeing the wrong in others.

YELLOW CHAIR- SELF DOUBT
The yellow chair represents being vulnerable and judgemental of ourselves.

GREEN CHAIR- WAIT
The green chair represents being mindful, measured and curious.

BLUE CHAIR- DETECT
The blue chair represents being self-aware and communicating well and being intelligent in how we react.

PURPLE CHAIR- CONNECT
The purple chair represents having empathy, compassion and being understanding of others.

This theory made me more aware of the attitudes I express towards others and how this can alter their perception of you. It also made me think more about owning how I react in situations and making the right choice. I feel I experience all of these attitudes throughout life but I need to be more perceptive of when I find myself reacting like the red and yellow chair as I don’t want to come across judgemental of others or be overly-critical of myself.

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This week (week 4) I participated in the ‘marshmallow challenge’ which involved us working in randomly selected teams to build the tallest spaghetti structure with a marshmallow on top using only spaghetti, 1m of string and 1m of tape. My teams strategy started of strong, we decided to focus on structure and maintaining a strong tower rather than a tall one. We shared the same vision for the goal of our tower, which made it easier to work together. My role, within the team was to help come up with ideas and help to assemble the structure. We did not designate jobs roles to each other, we just adapted our roles to what needed to be done at the time. I think we worked well together and all co-operated to do each individual task and managed to communicate effectively, which made it more enjoyable. An improvement I would make would be having a clearer plan to start with as we had to improvise the design which made it a bit more stressful, our time management could’ve also been better. I asked my team for some feedback on my contribution, they all agreed that I was ‘hands-on’, ‘contributed to many areas of the task’, had ‘good leadership skills’ and was good at ‘forward-thinking’ and ‘problem solving’. I was pleased with this feedback as I feel these are all positive attributes I can take with me into my career. Our teams efforts really paid off as we actually won the challenge with our tower being the tallest.

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This week (week 6) I visited the FRA Careers page to learn more about Growth Mindset. Growth Mindset is about changing the way you think from a negative, self-limiting mindset to have a more positive, adaptable mindset. It’s about using your challenges to your advantage to grow and develop yourself and your skills. Changing my mindset is definitely a goal of mine as I feel that I can limit my abilities due to lack of belief in myself and the tendency to lose motivation when challenges arise. One way I am trying to implement growth mindset is by trying to focus on positives rather than negatives; for example, I have a phone call interview coming up and instead of worrying about the outcome of the interview, I am using it as a way to learn and gain more experience having professional conversations. I am also trying to improve my resilience by moving onto other tasks and giving myself time to think when I face a challenge, rather than losing motivation. I am finding myself becoming more productive by challenging my mindset.

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This week (week 5) I completed the emotional intelligence test. The emotional intelligence test is a way to evaluate your self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy and social skills. The test consisted of statements that I had to agree or disagree with, mostly surrounding how I view myself, how well I recognise my emotions, where my incentives come from and my relationships with others. The test was helpful as it made me consider how well I know myself and recognise some of my own traits that I hadn’t noticed before. I found some statements such as ‘I find it difficult to move on when I feel frustrated or unhappy’ tricky to know how to answer as it can be very dependant on the scenario. I was surprised that I only scored 53 on the emotional intelligence test. I am usually told by my family and friends that I am quite perceptive of other people’s emotions and have been since I was younger. I am usually able to analyse a situation and act according to other people’s needs. I would say most of the time I am self-aware as I am good at recognising my own emotions and am able to deal with them accordingly. I feel I am sometimes a good listener but it’s something I could improve on, so the other person knows how much I care. The test also made me realise that I could do better at being more confident when asking for feedback and ways I can improve which would help me with my self-awareness and overall confidence.