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Nathan: So what did you do today while I was at work?
Amy: I lounged by the pool and I watched TV and I played video games.
Nathan: Rough life.
Amy: We should go out to dinner.

I love it when readers give me suggestions for column topics because it means that I don't have to think that much. I'm not very good at anything that requires intelligence, so avoiding thinking is a major part of what I do with my spare time (while drinking). In response to my column two weeks ago, a reader by the name of Melody told me that she thinks that life is easier for men, and that I should write a column illustrating how life is not easier for men than it is for women.

Now, I've never met Melody and I don't know her from Eve, but I'm still taking her suggestion because (and this is important) she saved me the pain and suffering of having to come up with my own column topic. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is priceless. Anyway, enough foreplay. Get out your knives and forks, and dig into the meat and potatoes of this Melody-inspired literary dish. You may thank her later; I'll do it now. Thanks, Melody.

"If I could get a dime with my body or my tears, I would. But no. I'm a guy so I have to use my brains."

Only one aspect of life is harder for you women: the physical. Yes, you are weaker and are often raped and beaten as a result. Yes, you go through periods every month. Yes, you are more hormonal than men. And yes, I am tired of hearing you bitch about this. Girls, seriously, we get it. You bleed every month. We know because you make a huge deal out of it, and we have to hear about it over and over again. I'm sorry God did that to you, but seriously, your physical makeup aside, you have life much easier than men. Don't believe me? Check out this list.

Men Must Work

Part of being a man is growing up with the knowledge that you will have to work your whole life. As a man, we know that no matter what, the world will require us to make money and provide for others. This is responsibility. This is pressure. This, in short, is a fucking bitch. Now, it is true that many women do work and that some of them even have to work because of fiscal situations or whatever, but the bottom line is that for most women, working is a choice. In this regard, women have options; men have responsibility. Or, as my girlfriend says, " You should buy me more stuff."

Your Orgasms Kick Ass

This one really pisses me off. I've seen women have orgasms that leave them slack jawed and drooling, grinning from ear to ear, and making noises that sound like a cross between a cat purring and a baby cooing. They have orgasms that last longer than an episode of Seinfeld. What do we get? About five seconds of release. I'd cut off my hand for the ability to have a female orgasm. And you think I'm kidding.

I ain't kidding.

You Can Have Kids

I love my mom. I'd do about anything for her. We have a bond. My dad? I mean he's great and all, and I also love him, but if a mysterious force made me choose between parents, there's no way that the guy who taught me how to play pool and drink beer would take precedence over the woman who nurtured me. In most cases, children bond with their mothers and get beat up by their fathers. And I tell you, I'm really looking forward to having a kid who doesn't listen to me and treats me like an ATM. It'll be kind of like having a girlfriend. Only without the sex.

You Can Manipulate the Opposite Sex

You know how many speeding tickets I've gotten out of because I cried? That's right. Zero. You know how many times I got great grades for sexually satisfying a teacher. That's right, three times. But she was really hot and I probably would have gotten an A without her help. Anyway, my point is that chicks can get whatever they want (pretty much) just by being hot and showing their bodies or by crying. If I could get a dime with my body or my tears, I would. But no. I'm a guy so I have to use my brains. Which basically screws me because I'm stupid.

Women get to have children, experience Technicolor orgasms, avoid a life of working, and use their bodies to get pretty much whatever they want from stupid men. Yes, physically they have it tougher than men for the most part, but in almost every other respect of life, they have it easier. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to work.

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women have no idea what it s like working for the man at a nine to five. men had no idea that orgasms could even last that long.

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Nathan: So what did you do today while I was at work? Amy: I lounged by the pool and I watched TV and I played video games. Nathan: Rough life. Amy: We should go out to dinner. I love it when readers give me suggestions for column topics because it means that I don't have to think that much.

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it means that you should go over your writing and make sure you do not have any errors in grammar, spelling, punctuation, and to make sure that you do not have any sentences that do not make sense. .

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polish your writing

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Revision lets you look at your paper in terms of your topic, your ideas, and your audience. You may add more paragraphs or remove paragraphs to better fit into a given genre or topic. Editing typically means that you go over your writing to make sure that you do not have any grammatical errors or strange phrases that make it difficult for your readers to understand what you are trying to say.

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instructors will often require you to submit a rough draft of your paper. This usually means that your work is still in progress. In the rough draft, readers want to see if you have a clear direction in your paper. When you are required to submit a rough draft, it doesn't need to be perfect, but it does need to be complete.

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Next, you may want to outline your paper based off of the ideas you came up with while you were brainstorming. This means that you will think about the structure of your paper so that you can best deliver your ideas, and meet the requirements of writing assignments. You will usually outline your paper by beginning with its three major parts: introduction, body, and conclusion. The specific structure of each essay may vary from assignment to assignment. Many writers call this a skeleton unto which you develop or “flesh out” the paper.

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Before you start writing, you will think about what to write, or how to write. This is called, brainstorming. When you brainstorm for ideas, you will try to come up with as many ideas as you can. Don't worry about whether or not they are good or bad ideas. You can brainstorm  by creating a list of ideas that you came up with, or drawing a map and diagram, or just writing down whatever you can think of without thinking about grammar.