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Life is filled with choices. You just have to make the right choices.

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Chapter 1: Is Daddy Coming with Us? (1982)

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Chapter 1: Is Daddy Coming with Us? (1982)

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During a game of chase with his sister Nikki, three-year-old Wes caught her for the first time. Without knowing what do to next, he punched her. His mother Joy’s angry and sudden reaction to him hitting his sister was confusing to him. While Wes hid in his room, he heard his father, Westley, trying to calm his mother down. Westley reminded Joy that Wes did not know hitting a woman was wrong or why Joy felt so strongly about it. Years later, Wes would finally understand why his mother reacted in that way. Wes’s father coming to speak to him that day about punching his sister is one of the two memories he has of his father; the other is from the day his father died. Westley had not been feeling well all day, and eventually had to be taken to the hospital. The doctors however did not know what to do for his symptoms and sent him home. Later that evening, he collapsed and ultimately, passed away from acute epiglottis. His death affected the entire family, and was a confusing time for young Wes.

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Wes had a good friend named Woody, and they both played football for the Northwood Rams. Wes and Woody played football often in their neighborhood, and it was not uncommon to get a pickup game going. One day, Wes played defense a little too close for one boy’s liking. An argument started, and the boy punched Wes in the face. Everyone was stunned. Wes ran home, and Woody ran after him to make sure he was okay. Woody found Wes in his kitchen with a knife. Despite Tony’s warnings to keep out of trouble, he had also taught Wes to never let someone get away with hurting your pride: “rule number one: If someone disrespects you, you send a message so fierce that they won’t have the chance to do it again” (33). Woody tried to stop him, but Wes ran outside to confront the boy, not even noticing that police officers had shown up. Wes ran at the boy, but was tackled by one of the officers. Wes and Woody were both arrested and taken to jail. Knowing he could not call his mother, Wes called Tony. Tony’s father agreed to pick him up. Wes was back home before his mother got there; she did not find out for years that he had been arrested that day.

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Attending the private school had an impact on Wes’s reputation. His neighborhood friends teased Wes for attending a “white” school, and his school friends did not understand why their conversations about summer homes and video game systems were alienating to Wes. In an effort to combine his two worlds, Wes’s uncle suggested he invite friends from school to play baseball with his neighborhood friends. The game ended after only a few innings when arguments between the two groups turned into fist fights. “I was becoming too ‘rich’ for the kids from the neighborhood and too ‘poor’ for the kids at school. I had forgotten how to act naturally, thinking way too much in each situation and getting tangled in the contradictions between my two worlds" (53). His grades and confidence began to slip, and his mother began to threaten to send him to military school. Despite having the same circumstances as Wes, Justin was one of the top performing students in their grade, and he warned Wes to get it together because he thought Joy was serious. Wes never believed his mother would send him to military school.

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One day, Wes met up with his friend Shea, a drug runner. Shea was working on a corner and Wes sat down to hang out with him. Shea suggested they tag the wall they were sitting by, and Wesagreed, spraying his tag “KK” with a circle around (which stood for Kid Kupid). Almost immediately, a police car pulls up and catches the boys as they try to run away. They are put in handcuffs and thrown in the back of the police car. Wes is very upset, and realizes this is not the life for him. He does not want to disappoint his mother, and is angry at the defiant way Shea is treating the policemen. Wes, on being arrested: “I became aware of how I had put myself in this unimaginably dire situation – this man now had control of my body; even my own hands had become useless tome. More than that, he had control of my destiny – or at least my immediate fate. And I couldn’t deny that it was my own stupid fault. I didn’t have the energy for romantic rebellion – the possibility of losing all control of my life was like a depthless black chasm that had suddenly opened up in front of me" (83). When the policemen decide to let them go, Wes is thankful and sears to himself that he will never be in a situation like that again. However, just a week later, Wes is out tagging again.

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Alicia’s pregnancy did not step Wes from meeting other girls. He soon had regular meetings with a girl who did not live in his neighborhood, but whose cousin did, so she was around often. One night, the girl realized how late it was and demanded Wes walk her to the door so she could hurry home. Once outside, a man began yelling at her and it was clear that she had something going on with this person, too. Wes tried to stay out of it, but the man grabbed him and beat him up. Wes got away and ran inside to grab his gun. The commotion caused a crowd, and one of Wes’s friends also ran out with his gun. Wes and his friend began to chase the man, who they learned was named Ray. Based on the direction Ray was running in, Wes realized he must be the “cousin” his girl had told him she had in the neighborhood. They began shooting at him as they ran, and eventually Ray was hit. Wes headed home and slammed the door in the crying girl’s face. Mary demanded to know what was going on, but Wes refused to talk to her. She called Tony, who headed toward the house. Wes cleaned himself up and his his gun, just in time for the police to come to his house. Wes was arrested and put in the police car as witnesses were questioned. Minutes after the police pulled away with Wes in the car, Tony arrived. Mary could only tell him that Wes was already gone.

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The author Wes Moore ended up graduated from military school and John Hopkins. The other Wes Moore ended up in prison. The reason why they ended up in a completely different outcome in life is because of how they changed from their choices. The author Wes realized he was making wrong choices, but he had changed from them and turned his life around. The other Wes did realize he wasn't making the best choices, but he did not turn his life around. He continued making wrong choices.

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"What is the most important factor in determining the outcome of your life?

Is it your family background or parental influence that is shaping your life, molding your conduct and ultimately determining who you are turning out to be? Or is it your educational and academic experiences that are determining this result? Is it how “street smart” you are that is defining your success in life? Could it be the genes you were born with or your physical characteristics? Maybe it’s simply a matter of luck that is framing the person you are becoming and what you are accomplishing with your life."

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Other Factors Become Less Important Over Time
But, you say...don't our general circumstances have a lot to do with it?
Granted, we came into this world with pre-existing conditions: where we were born, the color of our skin, our basic physical characteristics and the guidance we received in early childhood. These are all factors that helped to form us in some way.

However, at a very early age, our choices start to override these factors. The 3-year-old little girl makes her choice concerning which doll she will take to bed at night. Boys and girls, 7 and 8-years old, choose what they will do after school and who their friends will be. The 12-year-old decides how long he will study, which sports he will play and what he will do in his spare time. By the time we are 15 or 16-years old, each of us has almost total control over what we think, what we say and what we do. Beyond our very early years, it is our personal choices that determine how we treat other people, the level of education we attain, who we marry, what we do in our career and what we ultimately achieve with our lives.

Dr. Bobbie Stevens, in an article titled The Importance of Choices on the unlimitedfutures.org website, says this about how our choices impact our lives:
"It is so important to understand that we are all making choices all the time, even when we chose not to choose we have still made a choice. It is our choices that determine our experiences. The choices we are making today will show up in our experiences in the future. Unless we are willing to take full responsibility for ourselves and the choices we make, we have no control over our lives. We have been given all the power to create our experiences through our choices, but if we believe that outside forces are responsible for our choices we give away all the power we have. Sometimes making the right choice or even knowing how to choose is very difficult, but it is vitally important to understand that you are in charge of your own life if you chose to think for yourself. If you chose not to take charge, you will experience the consequences of that choice, and simply be blown about by life like a leaf in the wind."

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But, you say...don't our general circumstances have a lot to do with it? Granted, we came into this world with pre-existing conditions: where we were born, the color of our skin, our basic physical characteristics and the guidance we received in early childhood. These are all factors that helped to form us in some way.