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Reproductive Technologies Are a Valid Medical Treatment

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Reproductive Technologies Are a Valid Medical Treatment

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This article came from an SC DISCUS search engine and touches on many important points, including an explanation of infertility and its benefits, costs in comparison to adoption, and current infertility laws. Its main argument is that insurance should help in covering the cost of infertility treatments.
MLA Citation: Aronson, Diane D. "Reproductive Technologies Are a Valid Medical Treatment." Medical Ethics, edited by Laura K. Egendorf, Greenhaven Press, 2000. Current Controversies. Opposing Viewpoints in Context, http://link.galegroup.com/apps/doc/EJ3010053216/OVIC?u=scschools&xid=b26595cc. Accessed 9 Feb. 2018.

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This article came from an SC DISCUS search engine, and it includes natural remedies for curing certain infertility problems.
MLA Citation: Goldman, Leslie. “Pregnant Pause.” Natural Health, June 2011, pp. 46–54.

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This is one of many success stories I found on SGF's website. It shows that infertility treatments DO work and ARE worth it in the end.
MLA Citation: “Recently Visited Pages.” Georgette and Christopher's Story | Shady Grove Fertility, www.shadygrovefertility.com/patient-stories/georgette-christopher.

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Georgette and Christopher's Story | Shady Grove Fertility

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Christopher and I have been together for 20 years. We began dating during our senior year of high school and will celebrate 14 years of marriage this October 6th. After 1 year of trying to conceive naturally, my physician suggested that I should see a fertility specialist in the area.

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"Adoption is Not the Same as Having a Child of Your Own"

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"Adoption is Not the Same as Having a Child of Your Own"

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This source comes from the perspective of a mom of both adopted and biological children. She argues that both are unique and equally meaningful experiences.

MLA Citation: Davenport, Dawn. “‘Adoption Is Not the Same as Having a Child of Your Own.’”Creatingafamily.org, 2014, creatingafamily.org/adoption-category/adoption-is-not-same-as-child-of-your-own/.

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A while back I blogged about the insensitive comments infertile people often hear, including "Why not just adopt". This comment is certainly insensitive and unhelpful, but in response several people, including a woman named Maria, commented: "Adoption is just not the same as having a child of your own."

Turns out that it isn't just the infertile that are maimed by insensitivity.

The statement that adoption is not the same as having a child of your own is both remarkably accurate and remarkably wrong. The first part-"not the same as"-is quite true. Adoption and giving birth are two very different ways of creating your family. Just as New York City and Paris are two different vacation destinations, or chocolate and vanilla are two different flavors of ice cream.

What Adoptive Parents Miss

Adoptive parent don't get to experience the joys and pains of pregnancy and birth. They don't have the visual proof of impending parenthood and the communal sharing this elicits. They miss out on the wonder of seeing a tiny foot or head or butt make waves across the belly. They don't get to indulge in the pregnant parent's favorite pastime-playing Guess the Gene. "Whose nose she will have" or "Will he get grandma's gigantic feet?" They likely won't get to breastfeed exclusively. The expense of adoption, while often similar to the expense of giving birth, is covered by the adoptive parents rather than insurance. And then there is the worry about the unknown-prenatal exposures, genetic conditions, emotional state of the expectant mother, and on and on.

What Parents Who Have Not Adopted Miss

We seem to focus so readily on what adoptive parent miss by not giving birth that we overlook what parents by birth miss by not adopting. As a mother by birth and adoption, I have often felt a little sorry for people who haven't adopted. They have missed so much.

If you haven't adopted you haven't felt the breath holding excitement of "getting the call" announcing that an expectant mother has chosen you (domestic adoption) or that you have been selected as a match by the child's caseworker (foster care adoption) or that a child has been referred (international adoption). You've missed the wonder of meeting a fully formed human being that is your child, complete with all the unspoken possibilities of that relationship. Oh, and you'll never have the pins and needles sensation of waiting to travel to pick up your child whether you're driving across town or flying across an ocean-making lists, packing and unpacking, giggling at absolutely nothing, and worrying over absolutely everything.

People who've never adopted have never felt the overwhelming intensity of first meeting their child. It's hard to explain the giddy anticipation mixed with unnamed anxiety. This combination of emotions helps etch even the tiniest details into your memory forever- the colors, the smells, the words, the emotions. For me, this moment is one of my "mountain top experiences".

Adoption can make the everyday seem miraculous. The moment when this child that you met only a few months or even weeks before seeks you, and only you, out of the crowd with her eyes. The moment when you realize that your small developmentally delayed child is now a robust into-everything preschooler, and the quiet pride you feel knowing that but for you, these gains may not have happened. The contentment in knowing that you took a risk and it paid off. A feeling of satisfaction unique to adoptive parents when we look around our Thanksgiving table and realize that we are a family created by choice and love.

Yes Marie, you're so right. Creating a family by adoption is not the same as creating a family by birth. You couldn't be more wrong, however, about the "child of your own" part.

What Exactly Is "A Child of Your Own"?

I'm not exactly sure what Marie and others meant by "a child of your own", but it implies a desire for a child who looks and acts like you. A child you conceive will share half your DNA, and while it's true that appearance and certain characteristics are influenced by genetics, what's most interesting from research, as well as from my personal experience, is how little of our traits, personality, and intelligence are controlled exclusively by our genes. (I highly recommend the Creating a Family show on Nature vs. Nurture).

A child conceived and born of you and your spouse will be a mixing of two different gene pools, with a unique environment thrown in for good measure. Your child by birth may be nothing like you at all. I can honestly say that I am no more similar to my kids by birth than to my kid by adoption. And for the record, similarities are overrated. Being similar to a child doesn't guarantee closeness or parental enjoyment. In fact, sometimes it means just the opposite. Also, it's easy to find similarities with all your kids if you look for them.

I suspect that those who made the comments are seeking a feeling of "this child is mine". But what they are missing is that this feeling comes through the acts of parenting. Sure, giving birth is one act, and a big darn act at that, but parenting is made up of thousands of acts each day, and it is the sum total of all these acts of claiming that creates this feeling of "owness". Biology has little to do with it, unless you make it.

I worry a little when I hear the word "own" used in relation to our children. I am sure that Marie would assure me that she wasn't using "own" in the possessive sense, but I wonder. I know that before I had children, and even when my children were young, I thought of them as an extension of myself. It was only after my children grew older that I completely grasped the concept that I am only along for a short part of the ride. I can influence and guide, but never own. Don't worry, I'm not going to go all Kahlil Gibran on you, but your kids are never really yours regardless how they join your family.

I can hear it now, all these things I mentioned that are special about adoption are not necessarily unique to adoption. Parents by birth can and do have some of these same experiences. True enough, but doesn't that help make the bigger point? I have always realized that I am immensely blessed to have had children by both birth and adoption. I can't imagine not having had the joy and excitement of doing it both ways. Neither giving birth to a child not adopting a child is superior; both are special, and both are great ways to have a child of your very own.

Other Creating a Family Resources You Will Enjoy

First published in 2014; Updated in 2017.

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"Adoption is Not the Same as Having a Child of Your Own"

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A while back I blogged about the insensitive comments infertile people often hear, including "Why not just adopt". This comment is certainly insensitive and unhelpful, but in response several people, including a woman named Maria, commented: "Adoption is just not the same as having a child of your own."

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This article tells of a couple who went through unsuccessful infertility treatments but were eventually able to build a family through adoption.
MLA Citation: “A Couple's Battle Ends With The Greatest Gift of All.” Americanadoptions.com, www.americanadoptions.com/adoption/infertility_story.

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Infertility Story - A Couple's Battle Ends with Adoption

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Jerry and Lisaâ€™s struggles with infertility were not big enough to keep them from their ultimate dream of becoming parents.

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Adoption is expensive, but tax benefits can bring in money to replenish what was spent.
MLA Citation: Steber, Mark. “Adopting a Child Can Bring You Countless Rewards -- and Tax Benefits.” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 24 July 2013, www.huffingtonpost.com/mark-steber/adopting-a-child_b_3640808.html.

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Having a new child come in to your family is one of the greatest events in life. Regardless how it happens, it is wonderfully fulfilling and also challenging. Usually however, a new family member is not financially rewarding. Kids are just expensive. However, for parents who adopt, there may be an even brighter silver lining to adding a new family member, and it starts with your tax return. There are some very lucrative tax benefits, tax credits and other financial benefits which may be available to adoptive parents under the individual income tax return rules.

Last year I had a client with a special situation where they adopted three siblings all at once. Bang, instant family. They were very happy with their new family and also surprised to find out that not only were they rewarded with three wonderful new family members, but they also instantly qualified for well over thirty thousand dollars in totally refundable adoption tax credits.

While the adoption credit is no longer refundable, you may still be eligible for a credit of up to $12,970 if you've adopted or are planning to adopt a child this year. Yes, you read correctly, an income tax credit of over twelve thousand dollars related to adoption costs -- in addition to other benefits. Also, if there is one other true statement about adoption, it is typically a very expensive undertaking. So tax credits, potentially a big one, is often very well received and deserved.

The adoption tax credit is available for adopted children who are under 18 years old and who are not the step-child of you or your spouse. The credit also applies to a child any age if they are physically or mentally incapable of caring for themselves.

Standard U.S. Adoptions
In cases other than special needs adoptions, the credit is based on qualified adoption expenses. Said another way, the credit is computed-based on the amount of adoption expenses incurred to complete the adoption -- the more that is spent, the higher the amount of the tax credit. Qualified adoption expenses are defined as reasonable and necessary expenses directly related to the legal adoption of a child under 18 years old, or physically or mentally incapable of caring for himself or herself. These expenses may include:

Adoption fees

Court costs

Attorney fees

Travel expenses

Meals and Lodging

Other expenses

Taxpayers cannot claim any expenses that were reimbursed.

There are some additional limitations on who can claim the adoption credit and how much credit they qualify for. Specifically, there is a taxpayer income limit, as with many credits, that limits or eliminates the credit for high income taxpayers. The full Adoption Credit is available for taxpayers with an income of up to $194,580. If your income is between $194,580 and $234,580, you may qualify for a reduced amount of credit. If your income is greater than $234,580 you will not be eligible for the credit. Because the credit is nonrefundable, you may only use the amount of credit necessary to reduce your income tax liability to zero. If your tax liability is less than your credit, you may carry over the remaining credit each year for up to five years or until you use it up. Most taxpayers who qualify for the credit eventually get to take it all over that six-year period, including the first qualification year and five carryover years.

For a domestic adoption, you can claim the credit the year after the expenses are paid, or the year the adoption is final, whichever comes first. For international adoptions, you must wait until the adoption is final to claim the credit.

Special Needs Adoptions

Special needs children are determined by the state or local child welfare departments. Most adoptions from the U.S. foster care system are considered special needs; all children who receive adoption subsidy or adoption assistance benefits have been determined to have special needs. If you adopt a special needs child you may qualify for the full amount of the adoption credit even if few or no adoption-related expenses were paid. Said another way, for special needs adoptions, and that includes multiple family member adoptions, the adoption credit is the full $12,970 per child regardless of the amount of expenses incurred.

International Adoptions

If you are adopting internationally, the qualified expenses include the travel costs to the foreign country and lodging, food, and transportation while there. Many countries require the prospective parents to come to the country and be interviewed first then they must come back to the country for the adoption. The costs of all necessary trips to complete your adoption are eligible for the credit. You must wait until the adoption is final to claim the credit for expenses paid if you are adopting internationally.

Employer Assistance

To help taxpayers with adoption, the IRS also allows employers to offer a tax-favored employee benefit, the Employer Assistance Adoption Program. This program allows employers to pay up to $12,970 in pretax income towards an employee's adoption expenses per child. If your employer funds any portion of your adoption expenses through this program, you will still be eligible for the credit on any expenses you incur over what your employer reimburses or pays directly.

Adopting a child is a wonderful event. It can be a more wonderful event if you get some cash back on your tax return. If you are adopting or have adopted in recent years, be sure to understand the complex tax credits and rules and get all of the tax benefits you deserve -- and even go back and amend if you missed them in the last three years. The adoption process is complicated but once completed is very rewarding. The tax rules can be viewed the same: very complicated but at the end of the day with tax credits and possibly employer assistance, can be very financially rewarding.

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Adopting a Child Can Bring You Countless Rewards -- and Tax Benefits

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Having a new child come in to your family is one of the greatest events in life. Regardless how it happens, it is wonderfully fulfilling and also challenging. Usually however, a new family member is not financially rewarding. Kids are just expensive.

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MLA Citation: Jane, Author. “KNOCK ME UP, DOC.” Endometri... What's This?, 28 Sept. 2016, www.endometriwhatsthis.com/knock-me-up-doc/.

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MLA Citation: Novak, Megan, and Esther Gross. “State Child Welfare Fact Sheets: New and Improved!” Child Trends, 7 Nov. 2017, www.childtrends.org/state-child-welfare-fact-sheets-new-improved/.