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Regardless of the season of life that I'm in, I want to make the best of every situation.

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By Jill Briscoe

I love this season of my life! I am not quite sure if I am in autumn or winter, but I don't want to backtrack and I don't want to fast forward-I want to revel in this place. I have a good measure of health and a world of opportunities at my feet. I have chances to use the wisdom accumulated from being in 'the school of hard knocks' in ministry, learning curves to challenge me, and hopefully a barrel-full of encouragement gleaned from others, to share with people who need it along the way.

I am so thankful to God to be living in this "Grace Place." Three children in ministry, their spouses, my sweet friends; thirteen grandkids who love the Lord, and a partner and love of my life for 50 years who is a Jesus lover, glory giver par excellence, and of course my favorite preacher (and leaning post)! It is he who ever urges me on to go for the gold. This is a great place to be.

This in no way means there are no fights to be fought, no fears to be overcome, no problems to be solved, no challenges to be faced, no relationships to be fought for or sorrows to be borne. I suppose I could say I have never been so stretched beyond myself, so ashamed of my little faith, so lacking in knowledge that should have been learned, and so infantile in prayer skills. Yet this is still a great place to be!

When you are 73 years old, as my husband says, you realize you have more history than future. This causes one to be reflective. That is why I have chosen to write much on the interior places of the soul and what goes on down there. To meet Him whom my soul loves and revel in Him has become an urgent daily need. I want to know Him; I want to know Him more. "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death..." (Phil. 3:10). In other words, I want to be more like Him and less like Jill.

I also notice certain Scriptures I never noticed before. Like "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He; I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you" (Isa. 46:4). And "Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come" (Psa. 71:18). It is this latter one that most often comes to mind in this season of my life.

The next generation. This is the season for me to throw everything I have into declaring His power to the next generation. In Acts 13:36 it says of David, "For when David had served God's purpose in his own generation, he fell asleep." I don't want to fall asleep (a euphemism for "dropping dead") until my work is through.

I want this next generation to know He has the power to save to the uttermost, equip the saints to do the work of the ministry, comfort the desperate, heal souls decimated by pain lived in this period called life after the Fall, and use us all to turn our world upside down for Him. Above all, I want to remind all who are younger than me (and that's an awful lot of people) to be busy proclaiming His power to the generation coming after them.

I want to shout it from the housetops, write it down on paper, put the message into all possible forms of communication, take all chances to talk with individuals, never leave home in the morning without a holy expectation that there are people to talk to about His power before my head ever goes on the pillow at night. That's why this season gets a whole lot more urgent!

So which season are you entering, exiting, or in the midst of? Whatever the season, I trust you will be able to say as I can, "This is a great place, and a grace place to be!" What are you learning, giving, experiencing? Embrace it!

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By Jill Briscoe I love this season of my life! I am not quite sure if I am in autumn or winter, but I don't want to backtrack and I don't want to fast forward-I want to revel in this place. I have a good measure of health and a world of opportunities at my feet.

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I plan on moving in with my childhood best friend a couple years into college. This is a budgeting plan to help me prepare for the financial requirements of renting an apartment.

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Budgeting for your first apartment can be a little tricky, especially if you're also new to managing your money.

Maybe you just graduated from college, maybe you just got your first full-time job, or maybe you have some friends or a significant other willing to split the rent with you.

Whatever the case may be, you feel ready to move out on your own. Until you look at your budget and realize it might not be as easy as you thought.

Why You Should Budget for Your First Apartment

Depending on which area of the country you live in, you might find that renting is way more expensive than you originally anticipated.

Or perhaps you discover that your salary doesn't get you as far as you had hoped.

Either way, it's extremely important to know how to budget for your first apartment (or living situation). You shouldn't "wing it" because worrying about making rent is not something you want to deal with. Having to break a lease because you can't afford rent can be even more expensive and disastrous.

So, what can you do to make the process easier? Here's what to expect.

How to Budget for an Apartment

First of all, you should have a basic budget in place, as this will make it easier to fit in your future housing expenses.

If you don't have a budget, now is the perfect time to create one. You can find step-by-step instructions here, but to summarize:

Figure out all of your monthly expenses

Figure out your monthly income

Subtract your expenses from your income to see what's left

Give yourself a small buffer, and that's how much you have to spend on your living expenses

If this is your first time fully living on your own, without any financial help, then you might have to adjust your expectations and numbers a few times.

You likely didn't have to deal with all of these expenses during college or while living with your parents, so give your best estimate for what you'll spend on each.

For example, you'll need to estimate how much money you'll spend on groceries, gas, entertainment, insurance, etc. Welcome to the "adult" world - things just got more expensive!

Remember - budgets aren't meant to be set in stone. They're meant to be iterative. You can change your budget to reflect reality better later, once a few months of expenses have passed. For now, you want a rough outline of what you can expect to spend so that you know how much you can afford to pay in rent.

Not sure where to start? Here are a few living expenses you'll need to include in your budget.

Living Expenses You Need to Account For

Finding an apartment that has all utilities included makes this part very simple, but this option isn't always available.

If that's the case, you'll want to factor the following common living expenses into your budget:

Again, you'll need to estimate all of these, but it shouldn't be difficult to do. Feel free to ask whoever gives you a tour of the apartment how much tenants pay in utilities (if they're not included).

They should be able to give you a range that you can use to compare across multiple units.

Some places may even offer "packages" where you pay a flat rate for cable and internet, so you don't have to deal with the actual utility companies.

Additionally, you should be able to get multiple quotes for renter's insurance so you can compare the cost across potential apartments.

Further, you'll want to watch out for these common fees that many apartment complexes and landlords charge:

Pet fees (if you own a cat or a dog)

Garbage pickup

Pest control

Parking

Storage/Garage

Administration fees

Not all complexes will come with these fees, but since they tend to be in the fine print, it's helpful to know what to watch out for so you can ask if these fees are charged (before they come as a surprise). Some of these fees may occur on a monthly basis, while others may just be a one-time charge.

Let's break one-time charges down so you know what you can expect in a standard rental situation.

Budgeting for the Initial Move-In

You might find you can afford the monthly rent without an issue, but the upfront cost to move seems overwhelming.

Security Deposit: Many places require that you put one month's rent down as a security deposit, and if you use a broker, you might have to pay another month's rent as a fee to them, on top of simply making your first rent payment.

That means if you rent an apartment that costs $1,000 per month, you may have to lay out $3,000 in one go upon moving in. Ouch! Even without a broker, that's $2,000 you need to pay.

Some places may give you a break on the security deposit, though. Instead of a traditional deposit (where you get your deposit back as long as there's no damage), you might be offered a non-refundable deposit for a much smaller amount, like $175.

Unfortunately, if there are damages to the apartment that exceed that amount, you may be on the hook for those at the end of your lease. If you take this non-refundable option, make sure you save a little each month in case you have to pay extra at the end.

Pet Deposit: If you want to bring pets with you, you might have to pay a deposit for them as well. This amount is typically much smaller than the monthly rent, but it's still something you need to budget for.

Renter's Insurance: Many management companies require that you have proof of insurance before you move in, and it's a good idea to insure your belongings regardless. Renter's insurance is usually around $10-$20 per month, depending on where you live and what features your apartment has, and you can ask your car insurer if they offer it. You might get a bundle discount.

Utility Deposits: Some landlords require that utilities are in your name, and you may have to pay a deposit for service, especially if you've never had utilities in your name before. These deposits can range from $70-$150, but as long as you pay your utilities on time, you should receive a refund. You may have to wait a few months to a year, and if you continue service with these utility companies, you can expect to receive a credit on your statement instead.

One other thing to consider with utilities: for internet and cable (depending on how your apartment complex has things set up), you may have to pay an installation fee. Make sure to inquire about that when shopping around.

Administration Fees: Lastly, if you want to apply for an apartment, the management company will need to run your credit and conduct a background check. You typically have to pay an administration fee for this (somewhere around $100), although some companies will waive the fee if they're offering a special.

When dealing with a private landlord, administration fees may be less, or you may not have to pay them.

How Much Rent Can You Afford to Pay?

After reviewing all of those potential expenses, you may be wondering if you can afford to move out at all.

Don't worry - with careful budgeting and planning; you should be prepared to handle all of those one-time expenses. Renting is more affordable after the first few months of living on your own, and if you don't move out of your place at the end of your lease, you won't have to worry about any of those one-time fees for another year or so.

So how much rent should you pay? There's a popular rule-of-thumb that states your income should be around 3x your monthly rent, and many apartment complexes (and landlords) follow this rule.

So for example, if you're looking at an apartment that costs $1,000 per month, you'll need to earn at least $3,000 per month to qualify for it.

There's another rule-of-thumb that says living expenses shouldn't exceed around 25 percent of your salary; so if you earn $3,000 per month, you should be looking in the $750 range instead.

These are rules of thumb, though. They're meant to be useful guidelines, not hard-and-fast-rules that need to be followed to a T.

When determining how much rent you can afford, your best bet is to follow the steps above. Create your base budget, and then see how your estimated living expenses fit into it.

Do you have enough money left over after your other expenses to afford an apartment in your desired area? (Remember, you should include payments toward your debt and savings in your budget.)

To find out, do a quick search on a site like Craigslist or Apartment Finder and see how much apartments are going for. You'll spot a range for one-bedrooms, two-bedrooms, and studios.

You'll find that the closer a place is to a city center, the more expensive it will be (and it will likely be smaller), so choose your location wisely.

The absolute worst thing you can do is try and rent a place that's out of your price range. If you only have $1,200 left after all is said and done, and your rent is $1,100, you'll have to make sure your utilities don't exceed $100, which might be rough. Wouldn't you rather rent a place where you don't need to worry about living paycheck-to-paycheck?

How to Save Money on Your Living Situation to Make Rent More Affordable

You know how much rent you can afford, and what the going rent is in the area you want to move to.

What if the math doesn't work out as well as you thought it would? There are a few things you can do to save money on your living situation.

First, reconsider where you want to live, both location-wise and housing-wise.

Living in a studio or a basement apartment is likely cheaper than living in a one- or two-bedroom apartment. Likewise, renting an entire house is going to be more expensive than sharing a room with a few other people.

Living near a city center is going to be more money than living on the outskirts of the city, but living in the middle of nowhere might leave you with high transportation costs.

Think of these factors as puzzle pieces and try to figure out what you can move to make your budget work. Living near your job can be the most strategic decision as you can give up your car and save money on gas, insurance, repairs, and possibly parking. In some cases, living in a city might be cheaper for these reasons.

Second, think twice about your estimated monthly expenses. Do you need cable? Could you get by with Netflix? Can you shop around for cheaper insurance? Can you cut back on processed foods?

Just be sure to consider your options and take all of the above fees into consideration when choosing an apartment. Not all places are the same, so it's extremely important to make a note of fees when making comparisons. One apartment may have lower base rent but have higher monthly fees attached to it, making it less of a deal.

Run all of the numbers, ask questions, and start saving month-by-month for those initial move-in costs. You'll be ready to move out before you know it.

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How (and What) to Budget for Your First Apartment

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Budgeting for your first apartment can be a little tricky, especially if you're also new to managing your money. Maybe you just graduated from college, maybe you just got your first full-time job, or maybe you have some friends or a significant other willing to split the rent with you.

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Since I don't plan on getting married anytime soon so this is an article to help prepare me for the day I do actually get married.

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While no amount of preparation would have made me the perfect bride, it could have helped me enter marriage as a more thoughtful, easier-to-live-with spouse.
I have a confession to make. As a single, I didn't prepare well for marriage.

The truth is, I didn't really prepare at all ... that is, not until I started dating my now-husband, Ted. It was then that the possibility of matrimony became a reality and I suddenly recognized the need to ready myself for it.

I wish I would have started sooner.

Why?

Because preparation takes time. And while no duration of it would have made me the perfect bride, there were things I could've addressed as a single that may have helped me enter marriage as a more thoughtful, easier-to-live-with spouse. The same is true for you.

There are things you can do now as a single to better ready yourself to begin the spousal journey in good shape. So whether the title of "spouse" is in your near future or years away, here are five things you can do to prepare for it.
1. Evaluate your habits.
When Ted and I were newlyweds, there was a particular habit of his that stood out to me ... in a good way. He never left the toilet seat up. He defied all of the stereotypical stories of men and bathrooms I'd come to believe were true over the years.

This behavior of his wasn't something he was taught as a kid, though. Instead, he adopted it in his adult years as he hosted single events at his condo. It was one way he made an effort to be courteous to his female friends. Years later, when we got married, this habit he'd embraced when he was single became a way to show kindness to me, his new wife.

Just like Ted evaluated his toilet seat routine and made a change before marriage, you can do the same with regard to your daily habits. Do you have patterns of behavior that may prove annoying, thoughtless or hurtful to a future spouse? These habits may be related to personal hygiene such as where you leave your dirty laundry, or could pertain to poor time or money management.

If you're not sure whether a habit may need addressed, ask those closest to you for honest feedback. Choose people who know you and your behaviors well. This may include parents, siblings, roommates, or friends you've known for several years. Allow them to be candid without fear that you'll be offended by their observations.
2. Fine tune your conflict resolution style.
You're probably familiar with the five conflict resolution styles. If not, an article from the University of Notre Dame identifies them as avoidance, giving in, standing your ground, compromising and collaborating. The healthiest of these being collaboration, or what I label a "team-first fighter" in my book Team Us: Marriage Together.

What does a team-first fighter look like? This individual approaches conflict with an "other-first" mentality. This is evidenced in their desire to understand the other person's perspective, a relinquishing of the need to be right, less concern for personal reputation, and an extension of grace and understanding.

Although I consider myself a team-first fighter now, this hasn't always been the case. When I got married, I was a strict conflict avoider. My default was to pretend conflict didn't exist. What I didn't realize until after I got married was just how dysfunctional this was. It took several years of marriage for me to learn how to exchange my conflict-avoiding ways for that of collaboration.

Perhaps you're more balanced than I was. It could be that you're already a team-first fighter, or you tend to compromise, which means you're on your way there. But it's possible that like me, conflict sends you running toward denial at bullet-fast speed. While the bad news is your conflict resolution style is far from healthy, the good news is you can work now to change it.

Your single years are the perfect time to identify how you deal with conflict and determine what, if any, changes need to be made. One way to determine your style is to think about the last two or three times you've encountered conflict. Think back to how you responded in each instance and what you could have done differently.
3. Learn to not take yourself too seriously.
Ted's lighthearted view of himself is one of the top five things that attracted me to him. Even though he had two master's degrees, had traveled internationally, and was a talented musician, he didn't take himself too seriously. This man knew how to laugh at himself and have fun in the process.

How about you? If asked, would others say that you take yourself too seriously?

Don't misunderstand. There's certainly a place for approaching particular aspects of life with seriousness. At the same time, there's also something seriously attractive about an individual who can laugh at their mistakes, flaws and shortcomings - a person who can take a risk and fail because he's learned to laugh it off and try again. Marriage comes with many opportunities to fixate on the negative, but being able to laugh together has been proven to create healthier marriages.

If laughing at yourself and your mistakes is hard for you, it may be time to develop a more lighthearted opinion of yourself. You can start small by learning to react with levity to little frustrations or mistakes. Lock your keys in your car? Instead of growing angry, figure out a way to see the humor in the situation. Or, if you're like me, and you have trouble properly pronouncing English words, let alone words in other languages, don't let your mispronunciation fluster you. Instead, figure out how to joke about it. Others know you're fallible. Recognizing and accepting that can be attractive and liberating.
4. Seek out opportunities to serve.
The best marriages are made up of individuals who sacrificially serve one another; those who, for the sake of their relationship, weigh their spouse's needs over their own. The problem is servanthood isn't something that naturally occurs the day you promise, "I do." Instead, a servant's heart is cultivated over time. Sometimes lots of time.

But you can begin to develop it now as a single. Start by seeking out opportunities to serve within your community and at your local church. This could be helping elderly neighbors with their grocery shopping, or babysitting at no charge for a single mom. You could volunteer in your church's children's ministry, or participate in outreach programs.

Even if it means getting out of bed early on a Saturday or putting in hours after a long day at work, make it a priority to put others' needs before your own. Make servanthood such a natural part of your life now that service will come more naturally in marriage.
5. Take a friendship inventory.
Chances are, you're surrounded by some sort of community. These people may include your family, friends, co-workers or classmates. It's important to surround yourself now with a support system that can encourage and help you later, when you get married. To find out if you have the right kind of friends, do a simple friendship inventory. Ask yourself these three questions:

● Do my friends esteem or value marriage?

● Do my friends view the opposite sex with respect?

● Do they affirm me at any cost, or are they willing to offer me gentle correction?

If your closest friends receive three checkmarks - great! You're good to go. However, if your friends flunk this inventory, try having a heart-to-heart talk with them. Maybe they don't realize how they're coming across. Share how you'd like to see them encourage you in specific areas. They may just rise to the occasion.
Go Ahead ... Start Now
You don't have to wait until you're in a serious relationship to prepare for marriage. You can start now. I guarantee that your future spouse will appreciate - and benefit from - your efforts. Your intentionality may even be one of the things they find most attractive.

Copyright Ashleigh Slater 2016. All rights reserved.

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5 Things You Can Do Now to Prepare for Marriage

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While no amount of preparation would have made me the perfect bride, it could have helped me enter marriage as a more thoughtful, easier-to-live-with spouse. I have a confession to make. As a single, I didn't prepare well for marriage. The truth is, I didn't really prepare at all ...

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I have a very busy life. And I tend to over-book myself and I forget due dates for assignments. So by accurately using a planner maybe I can start keeping track of things.

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As someone who carries her planner around everywhere, I don't know what I'd do without it. In the past five years, I have experimented with different type of agendas and somewhat figured out which one works for me the best. Every college student should invest in a planner (or two) because they are honestly a life saver. Here are four reasons why you should use an agenda in college:

1. It allows you to improve your time management.

Having an agenda allows you to see an overview of your day, week and month. By seeing which tests you have scheduled in a certain week or what papers you have to work on in the month of October, you can easily plan out when you will focus on them. I strongly urge every college student to buy an agenda that has an hourly layout for each day. Although we will get use to our schedules a month in, having an agenda with hours will make it easier to plan time for clubs, social events and studying.

2. It will keep you focused.

By writing down important information and constantly checking your agenda, you will be more cognizant of what is going on. Back in high-school when I was handling NHS president, Student Council and 4 AP classes, it was so nice having everything written down because it allowed me to see what I had to do and by when. I used my planner daily so there was rarely a day I wasn't on track with my obligations.

3. Sense of accomplishment.

One of the best feelings in the world is to check off something on your to-do list. I remember one time I had finished everything on my list of homework before 9 p.m. and I felt like I was on top of the world. As college students stressed out over everything possible, having that sense of gratification will allow us to feel less stressed and more accomplished.

4. It will serve as a journal.

I have kept all of my planners and it is so cool looking back at them. I wrote down everything I did--whether it be tests or chipotle dates with my best friend. In some of the planners, I even wrote down when I first started liking my crushes at the time. It's very interesting to look back and see what you had to handle at the time.

My personal suggestions for planners:

I'm planning on using this agenda for college and I LOVE it. With the time layout and to-do list on every week, I feel like it is very effective for college students. You can see when your classes, club meetings and social events are very easily. You can find them in your local Target!

They have different types of planners and some of them worked really well for me. Their planners with the horizontal layout were really nice for high school. If you are not a huge fan of the time layout, this is the planner for you. These planners can be found in Target as well!

They are very similar to Sugar Paper but not as cute. If you just want a planner that gets the job done and you don't care how it looks, you should get this one! Mead Planners can be found in Walmart, Walgreens, CVS and, of course, Target.

Whether you use your planner as religiously as I do or if you chose to use it like a normal person, remember that it is so important to be organized in college. With stressful exams, endless papers and somewhat of a social life, make sure to write down everything so there isn't a chance you forget anything. Planners range from as cheap as three dollars to as expensive as sixty-five dollars. Don't feel pressured to buy one that is super expensive because we are broke college students and that is OK. As long as you have a pen and a calendar, you are good to go. Best of luck in your planner endeavors!

Lead Image Credit: Uzma Jamil

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4 Reasons Why You Should Use A Planner in College | Fresh U

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As someone who carries her planner around everywhere, I don't know what I'd do without it. In the past five years, I have experimented with different type of agendas and somewhat figured out which one works for me the best. Every college student should invest in a planner (or two) because they are honestly a life saver.

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Stanford v Texas, 2016 NCAA Women's Volleyball Championship Match

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Stanford Cardinal vs. Texas Longhorns, 2016 NCAA Women's Volleyball Championship Match. The Cardinal winning its seventh women's volleyball title. Vote on this video!

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